I Should Tell You
by singyourheartout287
Summary: Blaine Anderson's bucket list had only one item: fall in love. That summer, he achieved his one goal in life. He just didn't think it would slip away so soon. Kind of AU. Klaine. NO character deaths, contrary to what it looks like. Just angst.
1. Arby's

**Hello, FF! Yes, it is I! I know, I've been dead for a while, and even deleted all of my previous stories, but I make my triumphant return, better than ever! Well, you can be the judge of that.**

**First off, a few technicalities. Let it be known that my fan fiction will not tolerate Blaine being the star in **_**The Curious Case of Benjamin Button**_**. In this fan fic, he is the same age as Kurt. Also, I live in Texas, not Ohio, so I'm really only familiar with the Texas education system and colleges and whatnot. I tried to do a bit of research, but bear with me if it's not perfect. **

**This is more of a prologue than anything. I'm trying to wet my toes in the water before diving right back into fan fiction, especially since I've never written anything for Glee or Klaine before, but I have a good feeling about this, so you guys let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything relating to it. If I did, Brittana and Klaine would have all the kisses and none for Finchel. Bye.**

_December 1, 2012_

It wasn't supposed to feel like this, Blaine thought to himself. Falling in love was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to be earth-shattering, life-altering. Love was supposed to turn your world upside down in the best way possible and make it seem like you could never be upset or sad or angry or lonely again, as long as you were in that person's arms. As long as you were with them, no one could touch you.

So how did it come to this?

Looking back on the events of that summer, he couldn't help but smile. It had been good, while it lasted. He had to admit to himself that, even if he had known this outcome back then, he wouldn't change a thing. He would have done it all again, exactly the same. No matter how heartbroken he was now, to just get those brief moments with Kurt were enough for him.

Kurt always talked about his bucket list, constantly pulling out his iPhone and mentioning random items on his list. There were hundreds of things he wanted to do before he died, even though he knew some of them would be out of reach for him. Blaine, however, just had one item on his list. More important than all of his dreams and ambitions and wants out of life, there was just one thing he wanted to accomplish before he died.

_Blaine Anderson's Bucket List_

_Fall in love_

That was all he wanted out of life. He didn't think it was too much to ask for; after all, some people fall in love multiple times throughout their lives. He just wanted one time. One mind-blowing, heart-clenching, epic romance.

And that summer, that's exactly what he'd gotten.

…

_June 1, 2012_

High school graduation, otherwise known as the most important moment in a kid's life, at least, in the eyes of their parents. Or, in the case of one Blaine Anderson, whose parents had kicked him out at the ripe age of 14, in the eyes of their older cousin.

Blaine didn't graduate valedictorian, salutatorian, or even in the top ten percent; honestly, he didn't care that much about his studies to graduate higher than just the top quarter of his class. One thing he could claim, however, was graduating as the most successful, respected, and well-liked council leader for the Dalton Academy Warblers in all of their history. During his junior year, he'd taken the reigns as their lead vocalist, but once he got to his senior year, he wanted things to change. He couldn't bear to even think back to all of the arguments of what song he should sing, which key his voice sounds better in, and how dare you, Blaine sounds good in _every _key! No, instead, Blaine set his sights on completely re-vamping the Warblers. He did away with the Lead Vocalist position completely, leaving any and all solos completely open for audition for every song, every competition, to ensure that everyone got their fair share of the spotlight.

He spotted Laurel's white-blonde head over the sea of heads and caught her searching gaze, waving like a fool to get her attention. When she finally made her way over to him, she smiled and engulfed him in the biggest bear hug of his life.

"Congratulations, Blaine. I'm so proud of you."

His felt the tears spring his eyes at the words he'd wished he could hear from someone else that day, but pushed through them. "Thank you, Laurel. I really appreciate you being here."

"Do you really think I'd miss my favorite cousin's high school graduation? Fat chance!"

He chuckled in her ear before pulling away. Her eyes met his, looking for some hint that he was less than okay given the circumstances; if she found that to be true, she didn't say anything.

"I don't mean to ruin this beautiful moment, but I'm a growing boy, and I need some food. Can we grab lunch?"

Laurel patted his shoulder and sighed, looking sympathetic. "I'm sorry, Blaine, but I think this is as tall as you're ever going to get."

He playfully smacked her hand off of his shoulder and grinned at her before turning around and leading the way out of the crowd and to his cousin's car. She unlocked the doors, and before he could even ask, popped the trunk open. Blaine smiled gratefully and tugged off his robe and cap, tossing them in before slamming the door to the trunk closed and climbing in the passenger seat.

"So, Mister High School Graduate, where to?"

Blaine tapped his chin thoughtfully before speaking. "I'm thinkin' Arby's."

"Really, Blaine? Really?" Laurel shook her head, laughing. "You want fast food on the day that you have graduated from your childhood into adulthood? On this very special occasion where you have crossed that line and finally begun your walk as a man, you want fast food? Not only fast food, but you want _Arby's_?"

"Hey, wasn't this supposed to be about _me_? I seem to remember your high school graduation, oh, 7 years ago. It's my turn. Deal with it."

She continued to shake her head, but pulled out of the lot without further argument. When they got there, it was practically empty, save for a couple people here and there. They ordered their food, it was ready almost immediately (something Laurel always found to be suspicious—who just has food sitting there and ready for hours?), so they sat down and dug in. Blaine, being the hungry teenage boy that he was, scarfed down half of his meal before Laurel even put a dent in hers.

He finally took a break to sip his drink when he glanced up to find the blonde's eyes boring into him, a contemplative expression playing over her features.

Blaine sighed, knowing exactly what was coming, and suddenly lost his appetite. "Go ahead. Say it."

"I'm just sorry your parents couldn't be here, Blaine," Laurel started after a brief hesitation. "I know they would have been proud of you, too. You've really turned yourself around these past couple of years, especially your senior year. I'm happy to see you doing so well, I just wish your parents could too."

"You talk about them like they're dead. They _could_ be here, they _chose_ not to."

"Years ago. What's to say they haven't changed?"

"Have you talked to them recently?" Laurel looked down at her tray, avoiding eye contact. "Didn't think so. That's not a mistake, there's a reason for it."

They ate in silence again, his cousin trying to give him space to feel whatever it was that he wanted to feel about the situation.

How did he feel about it?

His own parents couldn't come to his high school graduation. That's all they ever talked about since he started _pre-school_, yet they chose not to come, not to be a part of Blaine's life.

Was that even possible? If a child doesn't do what a parent wants them to, can the parents just say no? Is that allowed, when you procreate? The child isn't to your exact specifications, so you return it? Or in Blaine's case, just abandon it. How was that even a valid option? Weren't parents supposed to have this unconditional love for their kids that you just couldn't even understand until you had kids yourself? If this was how parents were supposed to treat their kids, Blaine decided he never wanted to have any.

"It's okay, Laur. You don't have to feel like you have an obligation to fix what my parents broke. I've been happy for a while now, because of you. I turned myself around because I had you there motivating me to be the person you knew I could be. That's all I could ever ask for. So on my graduation day, when I looked out, searching for a familiar face, I was much more grateful to see the face of someone who has supported me and been there for me through everything, than the faces of two strangers who didn't like who I turned out to be."

This time, both Andersons had tears in their eyes. Laurel smiled through hers, whimpering in a way that only a girl can and make it a happy noise. "Oh, Blaine." When words failed her, she reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze before turning back to her soggy French fries. "I'm so excited for you. This summer is going to be an amazing opportunity for you. You get to take summer classes at Columbus State Community College before heading off to bigger and better things at NYU."

The corners of his mouth found themselves turning up in excitement, too. "Yeah, I have a feeling it's going to be my best summer yet."


	2. Fate

**Yay! I've gotten several story alerts, and tons of hits. I'm happy to see you guys seem to like it! Just remember, reviews make the world go 'round. :)**

**Just FYI, again, I know nothing of any college but my own. So I just made up random classes and degree requirements and such. No big.**

_June 4, 2012_

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Blaine grumbled, throwing his hand at his alarm, pressing any and all buttons in an attempt to just shut. It. Up.

He'd only had a few days to rest and already he was being thrown back into school. Honestly, it just wasn't fair. But Blaine wanted to go ahead and get a head start on his basics so that he could take all of his fun music courses that much sooner. His summer classes would be English 101 and Biology 131. He had to admit, he was a bit excited about the English class; he'd always been a closeted literature buff. The science, however, he could do without.

Moaning and sighing and making any other noise of complaint he could muster, Blaine literally rolled out of bed and onto the floor with a harsh _thud _before lazily rising to his feet. He headed into the bathroom and ran through a quick shower, trying hard not to fall asleep against the tile. As he climbed out of the tub, he heard a faint beeping noise sounding suspiciously like his alarm. Not wanting to wake Laurel up before she needed to be, he rushed to open the bathroom door and head to his room, only to run into her.

"Crap, sorry, I'm going to turn it off now, I promise," he said, grabbing onto her shoulders to balance them both out and keep them from falling.

It was at this moment, with their bodies very close together, that Blaine realized he forgot his towel.

Laurel seemed to register it at the same time and shot a quick glance down before slapping a hand to her face. "Okay, ew. Blaine, we've managed to live together for 4 years without me having to see that. I was kind of hoping we could keep it that way 'til you left. You just ruined our perfect No-Naked-Mishaps Record."

"Sorry." He lurched away from her into the bathroom and snatched the towel from on top of the toilet lid, throwing it around himself. "Awkward. I'm gonna just go and turn my alarm off now."

Laurel nodded, her blonde hair shaking in its loose bun atop her head as she peeked to see if her baby cousin was decent. "You do that. And make sure it's actually off this time, not snoozed."

"Will do."

…

Two hours later, and Blaine was sitting patiently in his first ever college class, awaiting the arrival of his professor. English was first, at 8am, then biology was at 11am, so he'd be done in time for a late lunch and to still have the rest of the day to have fun.

He'd started doodling music notes in the top left-hand corner of his new notebook's first sheet of paper when he felt the presence of someone sitting beside him, one seat away. Then he looked up, and promptly dropped his pen.

Because the boy sitting there, yeah, Blaine was pretty sure he was the most beautiful creature on the planet.

His pen rolled a little and landed in front of the seat dividing him from who he decided in that moment was his soulmate.

Fortunately, Soulmate was not only stunning, but polite. He reached down and picked up the pen with graceful fingers, giving it a little twirl before looking to Blaine and holding it out.

"I think you dropped this."

He'll admit, the voice got him first. It was higher than a man's voice traditionally was, but in a way that Blaine never thought he'd find attractive. It wasn't until this very moment in time that Blaine decided that higher voices on men were much sexier than lower voices. This boy's voice belonged to an angel.

And then, Blaine looked up, and was pretty sure his body just gave up its ability to function the second those eyes met his.

Soulmate's eyes were strikingly blue, with brown and green and gold and every other color Blaine never thought twice about but were now all his favorites mixed in. It reminded him of abstract art, when the artist would just swirl a bunch of colors together that he or she thought looked pretty and call it art. Personally, abstract art was something Blaine would never understand. What were all those colors mixed up supposed to mean? He could paint that at the age of three. Where's the big introspective statement in that?

Blaine's view of Soulmate's eyes became obstructed as he frowned, causing his eyebrows to crease and his eyelids to fall a little, closing in. It was only then he realized he'd just been gaping at the poor kid.

Finally, he reached out to take it back when the boy smiled.

And honestly, was he trying to kill Blaine before he even had a chance to make a name for himself in this world?

"Hey, I think I know you," Soulmate was saying. "Wait, hold on a sec." He squinted at Blaine even more, looking like he was trying to see something, tapping his chin with Blaine's pen before his whole face lit up. "Aha. Imagine you in a navy blue blazer and voila!"

Now Blaine was deeply confused, and it must have read on his face, because the boy continued.

"Dalton Academy Warblers. You were their lead vocalist junior year, and then I never heard one of your marvelous solos again." He paused, and Blaine thought that he was done and he could finally speak up when Soulmate's lips quirked up in a smirk. "Oh, I think I know what happened. Ursula has your voice, doesn't she? It figures. Now all you need is True Love's Kiss." Soulmate glanced around the room like he was looking for something then turned back to Blaine. "Drat, where's Prince Charming when you need him, right?"

_I'm right here_, thought Blaine. Then, his brain decided to return to his body and he sat there in awe as he realized that it was horribly presumptuous to assume that he was gay, especially when they were in Ohio. Which could only mean one thing.

Soulmate was gay too.

Well, that sure made their impending marriage easier.

"Blaine," he finally stammered, grabbing the pen out of Soulmate's hand. "I'm Blaine."

The other boy's eyebrows rose slightly. "Oh, so you do talk? Darn, that means you must have already had True Love's Kiss." He turned his head away to stare at his empty desk. "I guess it's true what they say, all the good ones are taken."

"Or gay," Blaine said, before thinking about it. Soulmate snapped his head up and stared at him with confused and searching eyes, so he explained. "The expression. All the good ones are taken or gay."

Soulmate blinked, then got a mischievous glint in his eye and the smirk was back, full force, as he stuck his hand out, empty this time and ready to be shaken. "My name's Kurt. I'm one of the good ones."

Blaine finally smiled and shook his hand. Soulmate, or Kurt, seemed a little startled, in a good way, but Blaine ignored it and asked, "For which reason, the first or second?"

"Hmm." Kurt slipped his hand away and turned around to face the front as the professor walked in. "We're sitting next to each other for the duration of this class, so you'll have the next 4 weeks to figure that out."

Blaine chuckled. "I'm not really known to be a patient person, so I'm just gonna throw it out there that I'm one of the good ones, for the second reason. And _only_ the second reason."

God, when did Blaine become so aggressive in his flirting? He'd basically just said, "Hi, I'm gay and single. Just FYI." How much more desperate could a person sound? And when did this turn into flirting? They were just talking. While Blaine picked out their kids' names in his head. It was totally innocent.

"Good to know. I'm glad my shameless flirting went to good use."

_Oh, you have no idea._

Aha, so he was flirting back. This was good. Very good.

Blaine spent the whole introductory lecture going over his conversation with Kurt. It amazed him how forward Kurt had been, from the very beginning. It wasn't often that Blaine met other gay men in Ohio, especially ones who were out and proud like himself. It just didn't happen. Right off the bat, Kurt had thrown him flirtatious looks and lines, not even knowing yet that Blaine would be able to reciprocate. That kid was brave, very brave. He was feisty, and playful, and witty, and had courage. Lots and lots of courage.

After the third time of replaying every word Kurt said in that velvety voice of his, he suddenly realized that Kurt recognized him. He'd known him from the Warblers. Which meant one of two things: Kurt had attended Dalton, and been completely reclusive (which was entirely unlikely given how outgoing he'd just been), or Kurt was part of a rival show choir (which was much more likely given how beautiful his voice was just when he spoke).

He needed to pursue this mystery, and like he said before, he's a very impatient person. The second the professor announced the class was dismissed, Blaine spoke, hoping to catch Kurt in case he was one of the people that shot out of the room as soon as class was over.

"How'd you know?"

For a second, Kurt got that confused look again, and Blaine had to laugh internally as he realized that he was already memorizing this boy's facial expressions.

"How'd you know I was in the Warblers?" he clarified.

"Oh," and like magic, that breathtaking smile appeared. "I went to McKinley High. I was in the New Directions. We competed against you guys a few times."

Blaine's brow furrowed, trying to recall who the New Directions were, as Kurt shouldered his bag and headed down the auditorium seating stairs towards the door. Blaine followed him without hesitation.

"Really?"

Suddenly, Kurt stopped in his tracks and spun around, an almost offended expression on his face. "You don't remember us." It wasn't a question, so Blaine didn't answer. Kurt took his silence as a negative response anyway, and his eyes widened in horror. "I can't believe we are _that _forgettable, that you wouldn't even remember us less than a year since our last competition."

Blaine thought back, trying to remember. He was sure that if he'd ever seen Kurt before, he would have known it. Without a doubt.

"If you're trying to remember my face in the group," he began, spinning and continuing his walk, "don't bother. I was in the back all the time. Try picturing a miniature-sized brunette girl and a freakishly tall and lanky brown-haired boy."

Oh! That did it.

"Ooh, I remember now."

Kurt scoffed. "Yeah, thought so."

"With a voice like yours, why didn't you ever get any solos?"

Kurt hesitated in his steps for a moment, like what Blaine said made him want to stop again, before resuming his pace and exiting the building, Blaine in tow. "I've known you for an hour and you're already antsing to give me solos. I like you."

Blaine couldn't help it, he smiled at this. "It's what I do," he shrugged.

"That's right, I heard about that," Kurt said, placing a hand briefly on Blaine's shoulder, for one glorious millisecond. "That's why I never heard you sing last year. You decided that everyone deserves their chance to sing a solo and started giving them to all the guys in your group."

"How did you hear about that all the way at McKinley?"

"Our lead girl, Rachel, does extensive research on all of our competitions. When she heard about what you were doing, she was both outraged and ecstatic. She thought it was ludicrous to just hand solos out to everyone, and not just the most talented person in the group, but she was also happy because apparently that made you guys easier competition."

Blaine smirked, remembering the last competition results. "And did it?"

Kurt smiled sweetly. "No. Although, I must say, I did miss your voice at all of those competitions. You're really good."

"I should hope so, I'm about to leave for NYU to study music at the end of the summer."

At this, Kurt stopped more abruptly than he had the first time, and turned to stare at Blaine with his mouth open and eyes wide, in what Blaine decided was his shocked face. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to get some basics out of the way before I went there so I could hurry up and take the classes I actually care about, the music ones."

"And you said NYU, correct?"

"Yes?" Blaine didn't mean to make it sound like a question, but at this point he was puzzled as to why this was such a big deal.

He was starting to get worried until Kurt shook his head, the smile back in place. This time, it was more awestruck. "What are the odds?" he mumbled, more to himself than Blaine. "I'm heading to NYU in the fall. I'm in the music program, too."

Blaine blanched. "What are you doing right now? Because I was going to go grab some coffee before I head off to my other class at 11am."

The smile left Kurt's face, but not in a bad way. He looked almost in disbelief. "What class?"

"Biology 131."

Kurt shook his head again, and this time he was smiling like he'd just won the lottery. "I have that same class." He laughed; Blaine died. "Blaine Warbler, I think we were destined to meet."

Blaine smiled in agreement, unable to talk because of the sheer magnitude of the situation. Although, he'd already known fate had laid a hand the second Kurt picked up his pen.

**So there you go! I tried to make it a little longer this time. I'm sure once the story picks up momentum, I'll get some longer chapters going. I hope you guys liked it! :)**


	3. I Met A Boy

**WEEEEE! More story alerts, and even a couple of reviews! Shout out to my first reviewer of the story, I Am A Boss Zefron Poster. They're super legit and officially my favorite reader now because they reviewed. :)**

**They might just become your favorite, too, because they pointed out that in the first chapter/prologue (whatever you want to call it), it sounds as if Kurt dies, and that's why Blaine lost that epic love. I sincerely apologize, because no, Kurt does not die. That is not what happened. I hate character deaths, especially when it's Kurt or Blaine, so I promise you all, there will be no character death in this story. I REPEAT, NO CHARACTER DEATHS IN THIS STORY.**

**Also, if any of you are on Tumblr, mine is sing-it-like-you-mean-it(.)tumblr(.)com without the parentheses obviously, just fyi. **

**Now that all that's been established, on with the chapter. :)**

Kurt and Blaine caught each other's gazes once more, obviously both intending to stare at the other, and smiled, blushing and looking away quickly for the millionth time since they sat down for coffee 10 minutes ago.

"So, what did you think of Delaney?" Kurt asked, meeting Blaine's eyes again in a more relaxed and conversational manner.

Blaine frowned in confusion. "Who?"

"Our professor."

Oh, right. They were just in class. Where he was supposed to have been paying attention and not living off in la-la land imagining his and Kurt's life together, getting married and having kids and taking said kids to the pool, and oh why did it have to be the pool because now all Blaine can think about is a shirtless Kurt, throwing his head back and shaking out his wet hair, water droplets rolling down his bare chest, hand bringing a popsicle to his mouth as he closed his lips over it—

"Blaine?"

Blaine shook his head, trying to focus on what was actually happening, and not on how that image affected certain parts of his body. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Wow," Kurt laughed, smiling amusedly at him. "You are something else. Do you always drift off to other places in the middle of conversations?"

"Not really," Blaine muttered sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. _Only when my soulmate is sitting across the table distracting me._

"So it's just me then. Do I bore you?"

Blaine's eyes widened, staring at Kurt dumbly, because that was the furthest thing from the truth. "No, not at all." Kurt didn't say anything just looked at Blaine with a studious expression like he was trying to understand him. _Good luck. I don't even understand myself right now. _"It's just that…well, to be honest, you're horribly distracting."

God, Blaine couldn't believe he'd just said that out loud. He ducked his head down, grasping his coffee cup by the lid and swirling it around across the table. Maybe if he just stopped looking at Kurt altogether the problem would solve itself. Out of sight, out of mind.

Though if Blaine had looked up, he would have seen the flattered and flirtatious smile playing Soulmate's features. "Oh, I see. My good looks and charisma are too much for you to resist."

The black-haired boy smiled, still not tilting his head up. "You caught me."

This is nice, he thought to himself. It was nice to be able to sit in a coffee shop across from a cute boy and have witty, flirtatious banter. This was one of the many scenarios he'd pictured in his mind for when he finally managed to find himself a boyfriend.

_Whoa, slow down there, Sparky. You just met the kid today, don't jump the gun_.

"In that case, daydream away. Just please check in every now and then to make it seem like you're at least half-listening. I may not be as needy and whiney as a girl, but I do enjoy having more than a one-sided conversation every once in a while. You know, I ask questions, like how you liked our professor, and you respond coherently. Simple human stuff."

Blaine chuckled, finally daring to look Kurt in the eye again.

And crap.

_No! Focus, Blaine. It's game time. If you want Soulmate to actually be with you at some point, you gotta step your game up._

"I think I can handle that."

"Good." Kurt was still smiling at him, the light catching in his eyes and making them shine beautifully, like a stained glass window.

_I could see myself staring into those eyes every day for the rest of my life,_ Blaine found himself thinking. It was that moment that Blaine realized just how perfect his nickname, Soulmate, really was for Kurt. Day one, and he was already starting to fall.

…

"Blaine, is that you?" a familiar voice called from the kitchen.

He shut the door behind him and kicked off his shoes on the mat, dropping his backpack down next to them. "Yep. You in the kitchen?"

"Yes, now get your butt in here and help me. I've been slaving over a hot stove all day." Blaine shot Laurel a disbelieving look as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, hugging her in greeting. "Alright, maybe not all day. I might have just been boiling water and stirring the spaghetti noodles and sauce occasionally for the past 10 minutes."

"Sounds more like it."

Blaine rested his head in the crook of her neck and closed his eyes, sighing contentedly. Biology was just as much of a drag as English, and still just as distracting with Kurt sitting directly beside him. Increasingly so every time Kurt decided to slip him little notes commenting on the strange things their professor was doing or the heinous outfits various other students in the classroom were wearing. The remainder of the conversation in the coffee shop had flowed easily, the two chatting amicably as if they were two old friends reuniting. Which, in a way, Blaine supposes, they kind of were. The more he spoke with Kurt, the more he began to remember tidbits of information about him from the intel Wes insisted on gathering on their competition before he graduated.

When they had run out of time at the coffee shop and needed to go to class, it only made sense that since they knew each other now, they'd sit next to each other. Blaine had to admit, he was kind of super thrilled that he'd met Kurt that day. Now he had someone to talk to during his summer classes to make them interesting. And Kurt? Yeah, he'd _definitely _make things interesting.

"Hello? Earth to Blainers?"

Blaine grumbled, nudging his cousin's head not-so-gently with his own.

"A-ha, that got your attention. Stop sleeping on me while I'm trying to cook."

"There are other ways to get my attention than using that awful nickname."

"Please enlighten me, then. While you're at it, though, make yourself useful and shred the Parmesan cheese."

"No."

"Don't make me say it again."

Blaine instantly perked up, disentangling himself from his cousin and moving to the counter next to the stove. He picked up the block of cheese and grater already set out and began shredding onto the plate previously placed right below them.

"That's what I thought. Now, tell me about your first day of college classes."

He had to think about how to answer this question. It seemed simple enough, he could just say boring and move on with the conversation, but his day had been anything but boring. Kurt turned what would have been a horrible day into an intriguing one. The question was, did he want to tell Laurel about Kurt already?

Laurel had always been okay with Blaine's sexuality, that wasn't the issue. The sheer fact that she'd taken him in when no one else in the family wanted to when he came out was evidence of her acceptance. She'd provided him with a roof over his head, food in his stomach, a second chance. She had stuck by him throughout the whole Trevor Incident, when even his own parents didn't. In short, if there was anyone Blaine _would_ tell about Kurt, it would be her. So why was he hesitating?

Because they hadn't talked about boys in this light since the Trevor Incident.

Well, Blaine figured, now was as good a time as any to start. "I met a boy."

Laurel's eyebrows shot up and she dropped the little spoon in the pot of spaghetti sauce. "Shit," she mumbled, reaching in with just her index finger and thumb and plucking it out delicately, reminding Blaine of the way Kurt had picked up his pen earlier, twirling it effortlessly. The blonde turned around to the sink to rinse the spoon off and spoke again. "You met a boy."

"I did."

The cheese was fully grated now, so Blaine set the grater down on the counter beside the plate and started grabbing pinches of it off the mountain, dropping it into his mouth to eat. Luckily, Laurel was otherwise engaged, or she would have swatted his hand away.

"Does this boy have a name?"

And this is where it gets tricky.

"Soulmate," Blaine said instantly. _Crap_.

Laurel turned slowly, eyeing Blaine suspiciously. "You met a boy…named Soulmate."

"Or, you know, he also goes by Kurt. Probably more Kurt. In fact, when you meet him, you should probably refer to him as Kurt. And not mention the Soulmate thing."

Blaine could tell by her face that if his cousin had been eating or drinking something at that moment, she would have choked. "I'm sorry, when I meet him?"

At first, Blaine didn't see the problem. Then he thought about it, and realized the implications. That, on top of the fact that this was the first boy he'd felt the need to tell Laurel about in years, and that he'd accidentally let his special nickname for him slip, and Blaine was digging himself a mighty deep hole. Curse Cady Heron's word vomit.

"Okay, dinner is almost ready, so we're going to finish it up, get our plates, sit down at the dinner table, and you're going to thoroughly explain the Kurt Situation to me."

He grimaced, not liking the parallel between the names of the Trevor Incident and Kurt Situation, but nodded anyway. While Laurel finished with the noodles, doing last minute stirring and draining them, then adding butter, Blaine got down two plates for them, setting a fork down on each. They moved around each other in the kitchen and dining room in silence, fixing up their plates with their spaghetti exactly how they liked it.

By the time they were both seated at the table, ready to dig in, Blaine was suddenly nervous. _Why?_ he asked himself. It's not a big deal. He's just telling Laurel about the events of the day. That's all he has to do. If he refrains from letting his inner monologue spill out, then he's in the clear.

"Alright, start."

"So I get to my class and start doodling on my paper waiting for the professor when I drop my pen. Before I can even move, this boy—"

"Soulmate."

"_Kurt_, leans down and picks it up for me. He gave it back to me, but he recognized me from the Warblers because he was in the show choir at McKinley."

"The school with the kickass cheerleading team?"

"The very one. We got to talking, realized we had some things in common, so we grabbed coffee after class. It turns out, we both had biology together too, so we sat by each other in that class and passed notes all hour."

"How mature of you." Blaine rolled his eyes, finally twirling the spaghetti on his fork to take his first bite, finished with the conversation. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. "Uh, hello? Continue, please? If you're calling him your soulmate and already introducing him to me in your mind, obviously there's a lot more to the story than that."

"Alright," he sighed. "We flirted a little."

"You flirted? _You,_ Blaine Anderson, _flirted_?"

"He started it."

"Oh, did he now?" 

"Yes, as a matter of fact. I barely knew the kid two seconds before he was turning on the moves. In fact, I hadn't even spoken yet."

Laurel choked out a laugh around her mouthful of noodles. "I'm sorry, how does that work? Did he just lean over and say, 'Hi, my name is Kurt, I'm gay and you're cute.'?"

"No," Blaine retorted, slightly indignant. "I was caught off guard, okay? It took me a second to…collect my thoughts, before I could remember speech."

"Wow, the boy must've been hella-cute."

"Oh, you have no idea." He sighed dreamily, closing his eyes and conjuring a mental picture of Kurt in his mind, not nearly as beautiful as the real deal. "He's the most gorgeous person I've ever met. Sorry, Laurel, but he's even got you beat. And you know you're the looker in the family. God, he has these _eyes_, and at first glance, they're just this electric blue. But then you look closer and you see all these random flecks of so many other colors. Brown, green, gold, all swirled in there, looking like one of those paintings you like.

"And his _voice._ Laur, I swear, it's the most perfect sound I've ever heard in my life. I could listen to him talk all day long. I can only imagine what his singing voice is like. Even his laugh is musical, and it gave me chills just to have a simple conversation with him. His face is flawless, too. His bone structure is just to die for, and his skin is this lovely pale shade. Not in a bad pasty way, though, but in a porcelain doll way. That's exactly what he is. A perfect porcelain doll. It has to be biologically impossible for someone to just naturally be born that way."

By the time he's finished, Blaine doesn't even realize that he's started rambling, and he's more talking to himself than his cousin.

When he remembers that he was still supposed to be interacting with another person, he's a little hurt by the expression on said person's face. Laurel isn't smiling sweetly at his lovey-dovey rambling, and she isn't laughing softly at his silliness; instead, her eyebrows are knit together, and her mouth is pulled in a sad, taut line.

"Whatever it is you have to say, I don't want to hear it."

She sighs. "Blaine—"

"No. Don't. I won't let you ruin this for me. I only just met him today, it's not a big deal. You know me, I blow everything up in my mind. This really is not that big of a deal. We'll probably just keep each other company in our horrible classes this summer and part ways, then never see each other again…" Blaine trails off, realizing mid-way through how untrue that would be.

"Spill." Darn. He was _so _wishing Laurel hadn't caught that.

He squirmed a little in his chair. "He, uh…He's a music major, like me."

"That doesn't matter at community college, Blaine. You guys are just taking basics."

"At NYU," Blaine clarified. "He's a music major at NYU, starting in the fall. Like me."

Laurel sucked in a breath. "No, he's not."

"I swear to whatever you believe in that he is. And I know what you're gonna say, Laur, I _know_ it, but just wait. Look at what's happening. Take out your own biased opinions based on my past and just look at the facts of today. What are the odds that we would both go to the same community college in Ohio to take the same summer basic classes before both going to NYU in the fall, both in the music program? Think about it." He paused a minute, letting his cousin and himself absorb the true value of the situation. "Do you not see what's happening? I know why you're skeptical, but come on. This is different. This is so clearly meant to be. Stuff like this doesn't just _happen._"

"No," she whispered. "It doesn't."

They sat in silence again, staring at their plates but not eating. Who could eat at a time like this?

Blaine's entire body was humming with energy. Nervous energy, excited energy, anticipatory energy. His being was absolutely thrumming with so many emotions all running together in a way he'd never felt before. This felt big, like something was coming.

_Yes,_ Blaine thought, _something's coming._

He just hoped it turned out to be good.

…

It wasn't until later that night that Blaine finally cracked his notebook open again. He'd been planning on taking the syllabi out of the pocket and copying the schedules of assignments for his two classes in his planner so he'd always be on the same page in class, regardless of whether he was there (physically or mentally) or not. Then, something caught his eye.

He looked at the first page, tracing his fingers over the music notes he'd doodled in the corner, then trailed over to the other side of the page. Somehow, after he met Kurt, his absent-minded doodles had transformed themselves from music notes, to hearts.

**Welp there it is! Not sure how I feel about it, this was the third re-write of the chapter. Originally, I was going to have a lot more Klaine interaction, but everything I wrote came out more like CrissColfer, and that's out of character, so I just decided to cut that entirely and give you guys some Blaurel (the name I just made up for Blaine and Laurel). **

**Hope you guys liked it! Be sure to review :)**


	4. The Many Sides of Kurt

**Yippee! I believe shout-outs are in order to my two new reviwers, TheLuciferPerson and gopie. I don't think you guys quite understand how happy getting reviews makes me, so I'm super excited. :)**

**In fact, you can all thank TheLuciferPerson for this chapter and the next, which I have now decided are dedicated to them. They gave me the brilliant idea.**

**And don't get me wrong; those of you who alerted and favorited are beloved as well! I just love reading what you guys think. Mostly because it fuels my big ego. ;)**

_June 14, 2012_

"Do you want to go out this weekend?"

Blaine physically froze, stopping in the middle of packing up his stuff after Biology on Thursday. The past week and a half had passed lightly, just having more of the same fun, flirtatious conversations the boys had had on day one. He only got to see Kurt for half a day, every day, and somehow that didn't quite seem like enough. The pair had fallen into a routine of going for coffee every day after English and before their last class. Blaine already knew it was going to start taking a toll on his pocket book, but for Kurt, he couldn't bring himself to care.

The weekend was what killed him. Even after only 5 days, he'd gotten so used to Kurt's constant presence that going 48 hours without it literally almost gave him withdrawal pains. They had yet to exchange numbers, something Blaine found incredibly frustrating, so for an entire 2 and a half days, he couldn't get in contact with Kurt at all. It felt like torture.

"Uhh…"

Kurt's confidence visibly fell a few pegs. "If you don't want to, you can just say no."

"Kurt—"

"I mean, I'll understand. We've only been talking for a week now—"

"And a half."

"So if that's too soon, or you're just not interested, it's fine by me. I don't want you to say yes out of obligation. I don't need a pity date. I just figured with the way our conversations were going, you were probably at least a little into me."

"I—"

"But if that's not the case I'd rather just know now than make a fool out of myself on the awesome date I had planned—"

"_Kurt!_"

Blaine half-shouting his name got his attention, along with the 4 or so other straggling students still leaving the classroom. Kurt's eyes had gone wide, his body sending off vibes of anticipation and anxiety.

"I would love to see you this weekend."

As Kurt's charming smile slipped back into place, Blaine couldn't help but feel like the world was right again. "Good."

"Good," Blaine agreed.

They both stood there smiling at each other until other students started to pour in for their own class. The boys took this as their sign to head over to the coffee shop. Once orders were placed and drinks were being made, they stood at the bar, waiting to receive their customary beverages and find their table.

"So tell me about this awesome date you have planned for us," Blaine said, being the first to speak since they left the classroom.

Kurt's eyes shone as he batted his eyelashes, twirling back and forth marginally. "No way am I spilling my big plans. You'll just have to wait and see."

Blaine liked this coy side of Kurt. Then again, he thought, he liked every side of Kurt. The sexy, confident Kurt he'd met on the first day. The studious Kurt he saw every day during class when he decided to actually pay attention. The musical Kurt he glimpsed occasionally when he caught him humming to some tune or another at the coffee shop when their conversation lulled. The desperate Kurt that came out every day after English but before they'd made it to the café—(Blaine decided that Soulmate was definitely a coffee addict). And now, the coy, teasing side of Blaine had resurfaced for the first time since the day they'd met.

"Here you go, boys," the barista said, sliding their coffees onto the bar. "One medium drip and one grande non-fat mocha."

"Thanks, Melanie," Blaine replied, reading her name tag.

It wasn't until they'd retrieved their cups and sat down that Blaine realized Kurt was looking at him funny. Well, not funny, per se. Just differently. His smile was softer; less aggressively flirtatious and more fondly adoring.

The black-haired boy laughed lightly, tilting his head to the side. "What?"

"What, what?" Hearing Blaine's voice broke Kurt of his expression and the usual lively one was back.

"You were staring at me."

"Am I no longer allowed to look at you? Because that's going to be a problem for our date if I can't even look at you the entire time."

"Oh, really? Do tell me more."

"Nice try—" Kurt broke off, his eyebrows knitting together. "Hey, what's your last name?"

That question just sounded suspicious, and Blaine squinted his eyes accordingly. Nonetheless, he answered, "Anderson. Why?"

"I just wanted to say it. Nice try, Anderson. See? That sounded much better than 'Nice try, Blaine.' It adds a bit more sass to it, don't you think?"

"Everything you do has sass, I don't think you need to use my last name for that."

Soulmate chuckled, nodding his head. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

As an afterthought, Blaine added, "What's your last name?"

"Hummel."

"Kurt Hummel," he said, rolling the name around on his tongue, tasting it in his mouth. "I like it."

"As you should, you'll be screaming it one day."

And just like that, the atmosphere shifted. Blaine's jaw literally dropped a little bit. Surely, he hadn't meant to say that. Surely, he meant to say something else. Kurt was forward, sure, but no sexual innuendos had been made just yet. Kurt compared him to a freaking Disney princess for crying out loud, where the sexiest it gets is a romantic run-and-jump, embracing kiss.

As Blaine sat there, gaping at Kurt, he took in the other boy's face. His counterpart's eyes had gone wide and he lifted a hand half-way to his mouth, almost like he could catch the words before the fell on the table, spilling all over the surface and ruining the light-hearted mood. This was yet another new side to Kurt. Blaine had never seen him look like this before. All of the confidence had left his body, but not in the same way it had slipped earlier. This was Kurt completely unraveling his firey demeanor, revealing an insecure young man.

The taller boy cast his gaze down to the table, not daring to look Blaine in the eye. "When I'm famous. I meant that you'll be screaming my name when I'm famous. Because I'm a singer. And I'm going to be famous. Not screaming my name like…that…"

He smiled internally at how, even when his confidence seemed to be completely absent, Kurt was still firm in his belief that he was destined for greatness.

"Right. I didn't think you meant…that…"

"No, no. That's…inappropriate, crossing a line."

Kurt looked so flustered that Blaine decided to take pity on his poor, adorable soulmate and crack a joke to break the tension. "Ah, so the ever-flirtatious Kurt does have lines? Good to know for this weekend."

Glasz eyes cautiously slipped back up from the table and met hazel ones, holding steady. Something flashed through them—gratitude?—before a smile snaked its way on Kurt's face. "And that's the only information you'll be getting."

"I don't even get a when and where?"

"No to the when, definitely not to the where. Just be prepared all weekend for me to show up at your house at any given moment."

"You don't even know where I live," Blaine pointed out.

"I have my ways."

"If your 'ways' include looking me up, you'll need to know that I don't live with my parents. Laurel Anderson is who I'll be listed under."

Kurt cocked an eyebrow. "You moved out already? I was waiting 'til the end of the summer to move out myself, but hey, I guess the sooner the better, depending on your parents."

Blaine hesitated, not wanting to reply but knowing he had to. "I left my parents' house when I was 14, actually." He was careful not to say "move out," since he didn't so much move out as he was kicked out.

The face Kurt pulled was exactly why he didn't like to tell people about his home life. Kurt didn't even know the story and already his face was full of pity. And then, he asked the inevitable question. "Why?"

The former Warbler shifted in his seat, resistant to divulging all of his deep dark secrets over coffee before bio class. "I'd rather not discuss that just yet. Let's save that for first date conversation. For now, just for your planning references, I live with Laurel Anderson. She's who you want to look up."

"And Laurel would be your…sister?"

"Older cousin," Blaine corrected.

Kurt nodded, then lifted his coffee and took a sip, eying Blaine. It made him feel a little uncomfortable, but when you drop information like that, people don't tend to take it lightly. So he just waited it out until Kurt set the cup down again and smiled.

"So what did you think of the sonnets we discussed today?"

Blaine had never been more grateful and eager to talk about Shakespeare.

…

Friday came and went, and the only time Blaine saw Kurt was during their school routine. After biology, Blaine headed for his house and set out a nice outfit, just in case Kurt counted Friday night as the weekend and their date had been planned for that night. The hours passed by, though, with Blaine busying himself by doing various things, like playing his guitar and studying for the upcoming tests next week.

He told Laurel about the upcoming date as soon as he got back home Thursday afternoon. She wasn't quite as eager as he hoped she'd be; mostly, she was still skeptical and concerned about him getting hurt. Blaine knew that and they talked it out, but she was still no less worried at 8am on Saturday when there was a knock at the door. Laurel set down her newspaper on the table next to her bowl of cereal and padded to the front of their house. She peered out the window, and laughed, shaking her head. Blaine was right. Kurt was gorgeous.

"Hi, there," she said, swinging open the door. "I'm Laurel. You must be Kurt."

Kurt reached out his hand, smiling. "I am. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. Blaine talks about you a lot. Why don't you come in? I'm not sure he expected your surprise date to be quite so early. I'll go see if he's awake."

"Thank you. I can go check on him, actually." At Laurel's expression, he added, "I mean, if that's okay." Blaine's cousin looked skeptical, eyeing Kurt and seeming to size him up. "I promise, I'll be nice."

Laurel lifted an eyebrow and sighed. "You know, under general circumstances I would probably insist you wait on the couch. But as it stands, it's 8 in the morning and I was in the middle of a compelling news story and an awesome bowl of Cap'n Crunch that's most likely on the brink of soggy at the moment. So, go for it."

The boy literally bounced on his toes, smiling. "Thanks."

"His room is the second door on your left," Laurel said, pointing down the hall behind her and heading back into the kitchen.

Kurt tiptoed down the hallway and gently knocked on Blaine's door. When he received no response, he twisted the knob and pushed it open slightly, peering in the room to see Blaine rolled up in his blankets, looking like an eggroll. He chuckled before stepping into the room, crossing the few feet to reach the edge of Blaine's bed. He climbed on top of it, crawling across the bed to lay down next to him, and started playing with Blaine's curls.

"Blaine," he called softly.

The dark-haired boy stirred slightly under the covers, mumbling something incoherent but not fully waking.

"Oh, Blaine," Kurt said again, drawing out Blaine's name in a sing-songy manner.

Blaine rolled from side to side under the covers before his eyes fluttered open to see none other than Kurt Hummel staring down at him.

"Shit," he muttered, shooting up to an upright position. He rubbed his forehead before turning back to stare down at Kurt, who was still lounging in his bed. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Ooh, someone likes to swear early in the morning. Duly noted. I'm here for our date, silly. Granted, this wasn't the original plan, but something came up and I had to shift our plans a bit. I thought you'd enjoy coming along."

"Coming along to what?" Blaine asked wearily.

"You'll see. Get dressed. I'll go wait with your wonderful cousin, though to be honest I don't think she likes me that much. But we can discuss that later."

And then, Kurt was gone, bounding out of the room and down the hallway, presumably to the kitchen where Blaine figured Laurel would be eating her usual bowl of cereal.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and still trying to wake up. Admittedly, he'd been more than happy for Kurt's face to be the first thing he saw that morning, but for the rest of the day he knew that he was going to pout and repeatedly bring up how much he hated being woken up in the morning. Even though, if Kurt was the one waking him up, he couldn't see himself minding all that much in the future.

Shaking his thoughts from Kurt and focusing on the task at hand, he crossed the room to his closet and easily picked out the clothes he'd laid out the previous day for their date: a simple black polo and a nice pair of jeans that fit his body _just_ right. He tugged them off their hooks and walked across the hall to the bathroom. Instead of using his usual amount of gel, effectively turning his head into a helmet, he used only a light amount to somewhat tame the beast. Kurt seemed to like toying with his curls earlier, and if leaving his hair curlier than usual would make Soulmate happy, then he was more than happy to oblige. He finished getting dressed and doing his hair in record time and rounded the corner to the kitchen to see his cousin and date chatting amiably at the table about proper ways to take care of natural blonde hair.

"It's so rare to find someone who was just born blonde, rather than someone who buys it in a bottle at the store. You have to know how to keep it looking its brightest," Kurt was saying, surveying Laurel's head.

Blaine cleared his throat and leaned against the threshold, causing both occupants at the table to look up.

Laurel sucked in a breath. "Blaine, your hair—" She cut herself off, unable to finish the sentence, and he knew why. He hadn't left his hair curly in over 3 years.

"Well don't you look nice, all awake and everything."

He laughed at Kurt's remark. "Ha-ha, you're so funny. Let's head out to this epic date that you have planned that couldn't possibly wait until the sun was up."

"Blaine, the sun rose at 5:15 this morning, like I did. It's really not that early. We do need to be going, though. It would definitely not be good for either of us if we were late."

Blaine caught Laurel's eye across the room, who had a peculiar expression on her face. He figured he'd hear all about that later, but for now, all he was interested was the ominous tone Kurt's voice took on as he said they shouldn't be late.

"Please don't tell me this plan of yours is going to be life-threatening."

"Not what I have planned, but our first stop is potentially so."

That did not make him feel any better.

**There you have it! I hope you guys liked it. It would have been longer, but I didn't want the chapter to run TOO long, and if I continued it would have ended up that way.**

**Up next is their first date, which I already have all planned out in my head, I just have to write it. If you're just dying to know, here's a hint at their first stop: If you think waiting for the next chapter is hard, try being lynched, that's hard!**

**;)**


	5. First Date

**Oh my goodness, you guys are amazing! Two new reviewers get shout-outs once again, this time they are Shimmeh and sapphiretwin369. Thank y'all! :D Props, again, to TheLuciferPerson for another idea to throw in on this chapter. Just so you guys know, suggestions are always welcome! I'm not guaranteeing I'll use them, but if there's something you guys think would be cute or would enhance the story, let me know!**

**Anyway, I'm glad to see you guys enjoying the story. Without further adu, here is Klaine's first date!**

When they pulled up outside the building, Blaine was more than a little confused. "Why are we at your old high school?"

"When are you going to learn that I'm not going to answer anything you ask me about today and just stop asking questions?" Kurt returned, reaching behind him to the backseat to grab what looked like a gym bag. "You'll see. Just be patient."

"I thought we established on the day we met that patience really isn't my strong suit."

Kurt didn't reply, and Blaine followed as he locked the car and led the way into the building. The door was unlocked, something that made sense because surely Kurt wouldn't have brought him here if it wasn't, but this begged the question of why a high school was unlocked on a Saturday. Although, there were a lot of things suspicious about this situation. What was in Kurt's gym bag anyway? Toilet paper? Were they going to TP his old school as a sort of post-grad senior prank? Were there bottles of lighter fluid and matches? Were they going to commit arson? That actually seemed like a possibility, given that fire was potentially life-threatening, as Kurt said their first stop would be.

By the time they reached double doors and stepped into the gym, Blaine had just given up trying to figure this all out entirely. Especially when he realized that the room wasn't empty. A few dozen cheerleaders all turned around to stare at the two boys who'd entered. "Cheerleaders? You do know I'm gay, right? I'm sure this would be the perfect first date for a straight guy, but—"

Blaine was cut off by the aggressive voice of a middle-aged woman in a tracksuit. "Porcelain. You're late. And not in uniform."

"My apologies, Coach. This entire day is a surprise date for my friend Blaine here, so coming here already in uniform would have given it away. Don't worry, I'll go change quickly and be right back." He then turned to Blaine. "You can sit on the bleachers if you want."

And then he was gone.

The coach was still standing in front of him, looking him up and down. "I'm sorry, I tuned out the second Porcelain opened his petite mouth to excuse his unacceptable behavior. Who are you?"

"Blaine," he answered immediately, afraid of what the woman would do if he hesitated. When Kurt said this would be potentially life-threatening, he didn't expect it to be because of a 50-year-old looking woman.

"Not anymore. Your new name is Chia Pet, so named because of your short stature and the outrageous hair on your head. Go have a seat."

Blaine walked away, not really sure what else to do, and settled down on the bottom bench of bleachers. It was only a minute or so later that Kurt walked out, completely decked out in red and white cheerleading uniform. And okay, yeah, maybe now Blaine could appreciate the whole cheerleading thing more, because Kurt's shirt rode up _just so_ and the flawless, creamy skin of his stomache was showing just enough to make Blaine shift in his seat.

"Will you watch my bag?" Kurt asked, setting it down by Blaine's feet.

He looked up at the boy, mystified. "Are you going to explain this situation to me? If you graduated, how are you still on the cheerleading squad? And why didn't you ever mention that you were on it in this first place? And how does this qualify as a date? Don't two people usually spend time together on a date? How is that going to happen with you waving pom-poms and doing herkys while I sit on this bench doing nothing?"

"Oh, calm down." Kurt replied, rolling his eyes and placing a hand on Blaine's shoulder, leaning down to close to his face and making eye contact. "I told you this wasn't part of my plans; I had to rearrange them a bit. Coach Sylvester called me and told me to come to practice today to teach the new Cheerios some of our old routines. Apparently, I'm her favorite, and none of her other former cheerleaders can 'move their tiny little hips quite like I can,' her words not mine. As you can probably tell from meeting her, when Coach Sylvester tells you to do something, saying no isn't really an option." He paused, then smiled mischievously, crouching down even further to whisper into Blaine's ear. "Besides, from the look you gave me when I walked in, I don't think you'll mind watching me dance for a couple hours."

Kurt straightened up, and with a wink, he strutted over to the group of girls in short skirts. Blaine watched as he started grabbing some girls by the shoulders or waists, leading them to stand in a certain formation. He would teach them a set of movements, eight count by eight count, then slowly add them all together, repeatedly shouting, "That's great; from the top!" Coach Sylvester just stood off to the side with a scowl on her face, scrutinizing the girls' moves. The more they added on to the routine and the more fluid it got, Blaine decided his best course of action was to take Kurt's bag and place it on his lap. I mean, honestly, how was he supposed to control himself when Kurt was in the front of the room, gyrating like that? Then he'd turn around and watch the team do it, and see a few of them doing a specific hip movement not quite right, so he'd show them all again, in _slow motion_, to make sure they fully comprehended the mechanics of it.

Honestly, the whole "not planned" thing is starting to seem like a lie to Blaine. Kurt probably _asked_ the coach to come and help out just so he could have and excuse for Blaine to see him move like that. Show off.

He scoffed aloud, shaking his head and looking away. He turned his attention back to see Kurt bounding toward him. "Hey, you. I see you've taken guarding my bag very seriously."

Blaine glanced down at the bag strategically placed in his lap and laughed nervously. "Yeah, wouldn't want to screw up the one thing you gave me to do."

"I'm glad you're so concerned for my belongings." Then Kurt was reaching down and unzipping the bag, shoving his hand in it and searching for something.

"What are you looking for?" Blaine asked, coughing awkwardly and Kurt's hand moving all around just over his lap.

"My water bottle. I gave the girls a 5 minute break before we try it with the music, something that Coach was vehemently against, but I insisted. God, I can't find anything in here. It must be at the bottom."

His hand was getting dangerously closer to the thin fabric separating Blaine's body from him. Blaine was looking down, watching carefully, and the second he saw the bottom he grabbed Kurt's wrist. "How about you just sit down and rest for a second? I'll find it for you."

"Okay," Kurt said, drawing the word out and making it sound like a question. He sat next to Blaine and quirked an eyebrow, watching as he procured a water bottle from the bottom left side of the bag.

"Here you go."

"Thanks." Kurt took the bottle and opened it, taking a large drink before recapping it. "I could have done that, you know."

"Yes, but you…your hand was…and the bag is…" Blaine trailed off, gesturing to the placement of the bag, not sure exactly how to word what he was trying to say. It was embarrassing enough as it was.

The taller boy looked down at the bag, seeming to finally realize its location, and looked up at Blaine with an awkward expression. "Oh, God. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…It just didn't click in my brain. You should have stopped me sooner."

Blaine found it odd that Kurt didn't suggest moving the bag, as that was the obvious solution. Was he aware of Blaine's predicament and just didn't want to call him on it? That would be great, but as Blaine looked at him, it appeared that Kurt genuinely hadn't thought of that. And the way he was floundering at their situation gave Blaine even more pause. It was interesting how confident Kurt was until things took a turn for the sexual.

"It's fine, really." They both looked away, cheeks tinged pink. Blaine spoke again, dying to break the tension. "So, uhh…what song is the routine to?"

Kurt looked at him with a smile, confident once more now that they were back in comfortable territory. "What did I tell you earlier about asking questions? You'll just have to see."

Blaine laughed, amused at just how far Kurt was taking this whole "surprise" thing. I mean, honestly. He was woken up at 8am by none other than Kurt himself before being whisked off to a high school for cheerleading practice. That was enough surprise for one day.

By the time he stopped internally ranting at how annoying it all was, Kurt was gone, taking his place back at the front of the formation. Everyone stood in their opening pose, and Kurt nodded to a kid sitting next to a boom box.

When the notes began pouring out of the speakers, Blaine thought he couldn't have been more surprised. He'd reached his limit. Anything else was just expected simply because it was unexpected. But then, he realized as the vocals started that that was most definitely _not_ on the track; that was Kurt.

"_Come on, boy, I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll._"

His jaw dropped and, yeah, Kurt definitely should be given every solo from now on until the end of time. The style of the song was different than Kurt normally sang, he could tell. Kurt had lowered his voice and added a certain…something to it. It wasn't that it was raspy, that wasn't the right word. It was more…dirty.

"_I want somebody to speed it up for me then take it down slow."_

Kurt Hummel was shaking his ass in front of the group of girls and singing low and dirty. And if that wasn't enough to make Blaine come in his jeans he didn't know what was. Thankfully, that didn't actually happen. He had to muster every ounce of self-control he had left to prevent it, though.

"_Just say the word and I'mma give you what you want."_

At the end of the first chorus, Kurt stopped and motioned for the random kid running the music to stop it. He told the group that he wanted them to do it again, but this time he'd be walking around to watch. The thing was, when the music started over and Kurt began slowly walking around, singing along again, he caught Blaine's eye from across the gym. There was an evil, mischievous glint to his eyes that told Blaine that even though he seemed uncomfortable when things went sexual, he knew exactly what this was doing to him. Instead of just strolling around the girls normally, observing their dancing to be sure they were doing it right, Kurt was slinking across the floor, singing straight at him.

Suddenly, that aggressive voice rang out again for the first time since Blaine sat down. "Stop it, stop the music!" The music cut and she narrowed her eyes, glaring at every one of the cheerleaders, then settling on Kurt. "You've taught them sufficiently enough for me to take it from here, Porcelain. Now kindly get out of my auditorium. The eye-sex you're having with Chia Pet is exhausting to watch and not turning me on in the slightest."

Blaine paled (as if he could stand to lose any more blood in his face, most of it was already shooting south anyway) and turned his attention back to look at Kurt, who seemed to be having the opposite problem; his face had changed to match his uniform.

Without a word, and without making eye contact, Kurt grabbed the bag off of Blaine's lap and quickly spun around and disappeared into what Blaine assumed was the locker room. He discreetly crossed his legs while trying to calm himself down before Kurt came back. The only problem was, now that he'd seen him move like that and heard him sing like that, his brain didn't seem willing to process anything else. He looked around the room desperately trying to distract himself when _duh._ He was in a room full of girls in tight crop tops and short skirts. If that wasn't a turn-off he didn't know what was.

He smiled triumphantly to himself as Kurt re-emerged, dressed again in his white button-down, black vest, sinfully tight black jeans and knee-high black boots. The outfit hadn't fazed him earlier, but after the things he'd just watched Kurt doing, the entire ensemble just put his mind right back in the gutter.

_Well, shit, this isn't any better than the cheerleading uniform_.

Kurt smiled nervously (and if that wasn't the cutest thing Blaine had ever seen him do) and made his way over to Blaine. "Ready to go?"

"Where to?"

"You will just never learn, will you?"

Blaine laughed as they started walking out of the gym. Without even really thinking about it, he laced his fingers with Kurt as they walked down the hall. He felt the jolt of surprise from Kurt at having his hand held, but the other boy didn't pull his hand away either, so he took that as a good sign and counted the move as an accidental victory. That is, until Kurt asked, "What are you doing?"

"Holding your hand," Blaine replied, trying to keep his voice even and not show just how insecure he really was about it.

"Eager, are we?"

"If I don't get to know anything about anything that we're doing today, the least you can let me do is hold your hand. Besides, with you gyrating in front of me for the past hour and a half or so, you're lucky I'm only holding your hand and not mauling you."

Okay, that second part was definitely supposed to be only in his head. That was just a thought, right? Blaine prayed to whatever eternal being might be in the sky laughing at him right now that maybe he'd only imagined saying that out loud. It wasn't that the comment itself was inappropriate; it was that he was making it to someone on the first date. That's something you say later on, when you're in the relationship already. Dropping that now? Not so much first date etiquette. Unfortunately, when Kurt gave a surprised squeak and stopped in his tracks, he knew it was too late. Oh, well. At least he hadn't let go of his hand.

"I'm sorry," Blaine spluttered. "I didn't mean to say that. Let's just pretend that I didn't. We're going to just ignore the fact that my brain-to-mouth filter is apparently not working."

To his surprise, Kurt chuckled at him and gave his hand a squeeze, smiling that fond smile again, but with a hint of the trademark Kurt Hummel sass. "Is your mind just constantly in the gutter? First, my embarrassing 'screaming my name' comment on Thursday over coffee. Then, my bag in your lap in the gym earlier. And now, my 'gyrating,' as you call it? Are you planning to pin me down and take advantage of me when I least expect it in the backseat of my car, Blaine Anderson?"

Now that was just not fair, Blaine thought to himself. Kurt had seen the double meaning in his comment, too. He'd also realized the bag placement earlier. _And _he was the one who breathed in his ear about how much Blaine was not going to mind watching Kurt dance for a little while. If Blaine's mind was down in the gutter, Kurt's was right there with him.

But Blaine decided to let that slide, instead saying, "You're the ones with all the plans today, remember? If there's going to be anything happening in the backseat of your car it will be because _you_ planned it that way."

"Well, you'll just have to wait and find out if that's on the schedule or not, won't you?" Kurt winked at him for the second time that day before tugging on his hand and continuing towards the exit doors, leading them to the car.

Blaine let go of Kurt's hand when they were getting closer to the car and put distance between them, walking in a huge circle to get to the passenger side door. When Kurt looked at him funny, he shrugged with a smug smile on his face. "Just in case the backseat rendezvous was actually in your plans, I don't want to be assaulted. I'm not the kind of guy who just throws himself around on the first date, you know."

For a split second Kurt seemed shocked by his statement, before settling into the joke. "That's not what I heard."

"Oh, really?" They were both in the car now, Kurt pulling out of the parking lot. "Then what _do _they say about me."

"I don't reveal my sources."

Blaine was completely clueless as to where they were going at first, but after 10 minutes, the path started to seem familiar and he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He turned to Kurt with wide eyes, and when Kurt glanced at him for a second, concern spread across his features.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I know where we're going," he replied quietly, staring down at his hands.

Kurt hesitated a moment before asking, "Is there a problem? We can go somewhere else, I just really like this place—"

"No, no, it's fine." Blaine paused, unsure of whether he wanted to share this information, open that portal. Then again, he had promised that this would be first date conversation. "It's just…my mom used to bring me here, when I was little."

Instead of immediately latching on to the subject of Blaine's parents, Kurt smiled softly. "Mine did too. That's why I like it."

They were silent the rest of the way, and Blaine felt a tug at his heart when they pulled into the parking lot and he saw the all-too-familiar sign, albeit worn down after the years.

_Lima Arboretum_

Before they got out of the car, Kurt reached over and opened the glove compartment, taking out some kind of booklet. When Blaine looked at the cover as they were walking in, he saw that it read "Lima Arboretum Trail Guide." Ah, so Kurt came here often, if he'd just had one of those ready to go in his car. Despite the fact that Kurt already had one, Blaine grabbed another guide from the stand by the doorway before they started on the first path. Call him sentimental, but he wanted a memento of his first date with this beautiful boy.

"Hey," he said, reaching towards Kurt's own copy and then comparing it with his, "why is mine different from yours?"

Kurt tore his wrist out of Blaine's grasp and held the guide back at his side. "Because mine is from 2002," he replied without further elaboration. They neared the first fork in the road, so Kurt unfolded his guide and started looking over the map.

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, so Blaine asked, "Did you want to go right or le—"

"Do you mind if I lead the way? We can go exploring later, it's just that there's this place that I really wanted to take you and—"

"Kurt," Blaine laughed, reaching for his hand again. "It's fine. You're the one with the awesome plans. Lead the way."

They smiled sweetly at each other before Kurt led Blaine to the right, keeping their fingers intertwined and palms pressed together. Blaine decided that he liked this flustered side of Kurt. He was nervous, and the more Blaine saw of that, the more he fell in like with this man. It hinted at the fact that there was more to Kurt than just his hard, confident exterior. He had secrets and insecurities and a past just like Blaine, just like anyone else. Kurt was just as troubled as anyone, carrying just as much baggage.

He'd never been more certain of this than when Kurt stopped in a small clearing over-looking the man-made lake in the arboretum. The area was off-trail, so they were alone. Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and turned slowly in a circle, marveling at the beauty around him. In the beginning of summer, there were still some brightly colored blossoms sprinkled across the ground and running all over bushes like Christmas string lights. They were surrounded by tall trees forming a circle around them, and effectively becoming a canopy to block them from getting too sunburned but allowing a nice sun-kissed glow to form over the time they would spend there. Blaine had a feeling it would be a couple hours.

"It's beautiful here," Blaine said, finally turning to smile at Kurt.

At his words, Kurt visibly relaxed, looking relieved and heaving a sigh. He looked around, too, but his eyes had a different air to them. As opposed to Blaine's expression of wonder, Kurt's was wistful, almost sad. "I know."

Once again, he didn't elaborate, but Blaine had a feeling that if he was silent long enough, he just might. So that's what he did. He dropped to the ground and settled himself down on a nice patch of grass, clear of rocks or burrs or ant piles or stray weeds.

When Kurt didn't make a move to join him, Blaine patted the ground beside him, gazing up at the boy.

"Not yet. I just…give me a second."

Blaine had no idea what was happening, or how to handle the situation, but just before Kurt turned away from him and started towards the water's edge, he could have sworn he saw tears forming in his eyes. He wanted so badly to know what was causing Kurt to suddenly have an explosion of emotion like this, but he knew better than to push it. If he went too far, pried for information that Kurt didn't wanted to divulge just yet, the whole thing they were starting would crumble. So instead, he chose to wait patiently, knowing that when Kurt was ready, he'd come sit next to Blaine and explain.

Five minutes later, that's exactly what he did.

Kurt sighed, spinning to face him. "I should tell you…"

As he trailed off, Blaine took his golden opportunity. "I've got baggage, too."

He smiled slowly at the reference, and just that little joke seemed to give Kurt the nudge, not push, he'd needed to begin.

"Like I said, my mom used to take me here when I was little," he started, settling in next to Blaine and leaning against his side.

"Like my mom."

Kurt smiled, the action small and not quite meeting his eyes. "Yeah. Just another thing we have in common I guess." He paused. "When was the last time she took you here?"

"I guess around the time I was 13. She decided it was time for The Talk, and thought that a familiar place with a good connotation would be the best place to do it. Of course, back then she was warning me about the dangers of getting a girl pregnant. Not really the most effective sex talk for a gay boy." Blaine glanced at Kurt and realized that there were actual tears on his face now. They weren't flowing, it was just light rain on his face, and Blaine felt bad at how beautiful he thought Kurt looked when he was crying. He slipped a hand around the boy's waist and asked, "What about you?"

"I was 8." Kurt took a shuddering breath but continued. "It was really nice. We came here, like we always did. This was our special place." Blaine got a bad feeling at the way Kurt referred to this place as their special place in the past tense. "It was the winter when we came, and we were the only two crazy enough to venture to an arboretum in the dead of winter in Ohio. She brought a blanket and set it down over the snow and we sat down, right here." He gestured to where he and Blaine were currently sitting. "Most people think the spring is the best time to come here, because everything is so full of life and bright and fun." He took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes, choking out a bitter laugh. "I guess it's fitting that we came when we did, then. When everything is dead. I appreciate the poeticism of it all."

He ducked his head and let out a sob, placing his head in his hands. Blaine immediately circled his arms around him and pulled him close. It was obvious now how the story ended. Blaine was more than shocked at Kurt's complete break-down, something he never thought he'd see.

"She took me here to tell me that it was her time. When you see all the movies about it, they make it seem like cancer gives you at least a year or two, if not several months. That's not the case with ovarian cancer. It's a silent killer. You don't really know you have it until it's already spread so badly that you're lucky if you live for another couple months. That's what happened to my mom."

Kurt broke away from the embrace and looked at Blaine, embarrassment evident all over his features. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. I haven't been here since that day; I should have known it would hurt to be here without her. I just didn't expect…"

"A complete and total meltdown?" Blaine offered.

The taller boy smiled a little. "Yeah. That."

Blaine paused for a moment, considering. He kept stroking Kurt's arm, trying to decide what to do. He wanted to return the way Kurt opened up to him by telling him about his own parents. It only seemed fair, after all. And he had promised as much. But he didn't want to subtract from Kurt's own story. Right now was about Kurt and his mother's death, not about Blaine and his parents' abandonment. Then again, when someone was sad, wasn't it a good strategy to distract them from their own problems? Surely, listening to Blaine's could do that. Besides, he could see how mortified Kurt was at crying like that, and he was fairly certain that if he was really honest in his telling, he'd break down too, and maybe Kurt wouldn't feel so bad.

"I can return the favor, you know. If you want."

He didn't need to elaborate, Kurt knew what he meant the moment he said it. Kurt nodded in agreement and patiently awaited Blaine to begin, staring into his eyes.

Though, to be honest, Blaine wasn't sure where to start. Thinking back to how he'd gotten Kurt to open up just a short while ago, he got an idea. Quietly, he sang, _"I should tell you, I'm disaster. I forget how to begin it."_

Kurt laughed, something Blaine hadn't thought would be possible again for the rest of the day. "After not hearing you sing for a year, I'd forgotten how good you were."

Blaine smiled a thanks to the compliment, now feeling ready to start. "You said you were waiting to move out, and you were surprised that I'd moved out so early…I didn't move out. I was kicked out when I was 14, the night I came out to my parents." Kurt gasped softly, but made no other sound. "Judging by your reaction, I'm guessing your own coming out went a lot better."

"That's a story I can share later. Right now we're discussing yours."

"I'm holding you to that." Blaine nudged Kurt lightly with his shoulder before going on. "It was hard when I first realized I was gay, because I knew right off the bat they weren't going to take it very well. My dad was always ranting about how homos didn't belong in the military and fags—"

"Hey," Kurt reprimanded softly, batting him on the arm.

"Sorry, it's his words not mine. He said…_they_ shouldn't be allowed to teach in schools, influencing the children of America. So before I even knew what gay was, I knew it was bad. It took years after the first time I got really turned on by a guy to accept the fact that who I am is okay, and I shouldn't feel ashamed. I have Laurel to thank for that. Since I didn't have any brothers or sisters, I didn't think I had anyone to turn to until our annual family reunion in 2006, when I was 12. She was 19, a sophomore in college, and she was going on about all of the interesting things she was learning in her classes, specifically her political science class. They were talking about civil rights, which lead to the discussion of gay rights. Dad, of course, was pretty adamantly against it. As was the entire rest of the family, except for Laurel. They didn't know I was listening, I was a kid; I hid around the corner and listened in as the adults had their 'grown-up talk.' But despite the fact that everyone was attacking her, trying to get her to 'see the light,' she wouldn't budge. She stood up for gay rights when she didn't have a single gay person in her life, that she knew of. That was the first time I didn't feel so completely alone.

"So after dinner, I asked to speak to her in private. I confided in her, telling her everything I was feeling. At the time, I didn't know there was another side, people who thought being gay was okay. Laurel talked to me for hours that night, and held me while I cried."

As if on cue, tears sprang to his eyes, and he shook his head, suddenly finding the grass at his feet to be extremely fascinating.

"Two years later, I had finally mustered up the courage to come out. I thought, 'This is it. Now or never, Blaine. Quit being such a fucking coward and show these strangers who you really are.' On September 23, 2008, I told my parents to please stay after dinner, because there was something I really wanted to tell them. I'd barely even gotten the words out before my dad backhanded me across the face."

Blaine choked on a sob, sounding exactly as Kurt had just moments before. "Blaine," Kurt breathed. And Blaine almost hated the sound. He could hear the pity, the sorrow, the horror in Kurt's voice. This was why he didn't tell people. He didn't need other people's tears to tell him how much it sucked.

"I fell out of my chair." He didn't care that his voice was thick, barely audible; he was going to bite back the damn tears and finish. "My dad took advantage of my vulnerability and kicked me in the stomache, again and again. You would think my mom would have stood up for me or at least told him to stop kicking the crap out of me, but she didn't do anything. She just sat in that stupid dining room chair that she paid thousands of dollars to be custom-made and stared at me, like she didn't even know who I was anymore. Dad, dear old Dad, decided to show me mercy and told me to get up, and get out of his house, and never come back again. So I did; I left. I didn't know where to go, or what to do, but thankfully I had my cell in my pocket. I started limping down the street and called Laurel. I was crying so hard I couldn't even talk, partly because of what had just happened and partly because my dad broke eight of my ribs and I couldn't breathe."

"Oh, God, Blaine."

"She seemed to know exactly what happened without me having to say it, and 20 minutes later she was picking me up off the side of the street, taking me to her apartment. She cleaned me up and looked me over before deciding that I was in worse shape than she had hoped, and we had to go to the hospital. That was complicated, given the fact they need a parent's information on all of the paperwork, and how do you explain to complete strangers that it was their fault I was there in the first place? But Laurel, she's a good person. She didn't want to lie, because she wanted what was best for me. So she told the nurses and doctors everything, who promptly called CPS. They wanted to put me in foster care, but Laurel was 21, and family. Despite what you may have heard about CPS, they really want to do what's best for the kids so they placed me with her. After lots of legal shit, I was emancipated from my parents and Laurel became my legal guardian. I haven't seen my parents since the day in court when the papers were signed and everything was finalized.

"Laurel turned her whole life upside down for me. She was a fresh college graduate, she could have gone out and gotten an awesome job in a cool city and had a fun life. Instead, she moved to a house close to Dalton so I could keep going to school there. Tuition was tricky, but after that political science class her sophomore year, Laurel changed her major to poli sci. She earned her degree and got hired at Dalton as a government teacher, which made tuition free for me. That was just one of many sacrifices she made for me. She wanted to go to grad school, but since she had to pay far more on her mortgage in our new house than she did for her apartment, and then all of her bills doubled with the addition of a new person in her life, she just didn't have any money left." Blaine buried his face in his hands and slowly ran his fingers up past his forehead, through his hair. "I'll never be able to repay her for all that she's done for me."

He didn't need to look up to know that Kurt was just staring at him, opening and closing his mouth like a fish, trying to find the right words to say. But in a situation like this, words just fail.

What do you say to someone when they tell you their mom died? And that the exact place you're sitting right now is the place she once sat in to tell them the inevitable?

What do you say to someone when they tell you their own parents caused them serious injury? And they haven't spoken in 4 years?

Blaine finally tilted his head up to see Kurt with tears running down his face, laughing. Laughing?

Kurt caught Blaine's hurt expression and quickly reached out, holding his face in his hands. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I promise, I'm not laughing at you. Your story is worse than mine; I couldn't possibly laugh at you. It's just…look at us." To emphasize his point, he wiped away at a fresh tear on its mark to begin racing down Blaine's cheek. "It's only the first date and we're already breaking down and revealing the deep, dark parts of our past we don't tell anyone about."

At realizing just how true Kurt's words were, Blaine couldn't help but let out a light laugh right along with him. "Oh, God, you're right."

"We're a mess."

Blaine paused and smiled, suddenly feeling five-hundred pounds lighter, and said, "Even though I highly doubt all the waterworks were on your agenda for our 'awesome date,' what would you say my chances are that this will end in the promise of a second date?"

And there it was, Kurt's trademark smirk. Before Kurt even opened his mouth, Blaine knew exactly what he was going to say, and they ended up saying it together.

"You'll see."

**WOW! 6,000 words, my longest chapter yet! I considered breaking it into two parts, but I said this chapter would be their first date and I didn't want to ruin that by cutting it up. So there you have it! **

**I know that it might have been odd or rushed to have them spill their guts on the first date, but don't worry, I'll address that more next chapter when SPOILER FOR NEXT CHAPTER ALERT Blaine tells Laurel all about their first date.**

**Review pretty please! You know I love it!**

**Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEARS! :D**


	6. Reciprocation

**Not really much to say! Giant thank you to my reviewers, they really do motivate me and I really appreciate all of your kind words! I love my silent readers too, but you should totally drop a review in my inbox sometime. :)**

**Now prepare yourselves for some Blaurel!**

Blaine walked through the front door feeling like the world's biggest cliché. After the perfect first date with Kurt, and a perfect hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye, he literally felt as though he was walking on air, weightless. It was all he could do not to start singing and dancing around the living room the second he crossed the threshold. Thankfully, Laurel was there on the couch, watching TV and waiting for this precise moment.

"Judging by the goofy smile on your face, I'm guessing it was a good date," she said, pressing a button on the remote and turning to sit cross-legged on the couch, facing Blaine.

He tried to fix the silly expression on his face, but to no avail. He was high on Kurt and nothing could bring him down. "It was perfect."

The blonde patted the area next to her on the couch. "Have a seat, come tell me about it."

Blaine obliged, settling down into the comfy cushions and breathing a happy sigh. He recalled everything from that day; the obnoxious wake-up, the sexy cheerleading, their mutual break-downs, and then the lovely cuddling afterward. The thing about them, Blaine was starting to realize, was that even when they did things so different than normal couples—could Blaine really even consider them a couple after only one date?—they were still so very cliché. On the one hand, they'd only been on their first date for around 2-3 hours before they were already spilling their guts and sobbing into the other's embrace. On the other hand, Kurt had taken him to a beautiful clearing and they'd lain there for hours, wrapped up in each other and alternating between light, get-to-know-you conversation and comfortable silence.

"Okay," Laurel started, breaking his reverie, "obviously you're still on the date in your mind, so I'll prompt you. He came and woke you up and alluded to a potentially dangerous activity? I must admit, from his first impression I'm not very fond of him, so help to clear that negative air and enlighten me as to what that was."

If possible, Blaine's smile got even wider. "The scariest thing about that was that I got a new nickname from a mentally insane cheerleading coach."

"Cheerleading?" She asked, and her expression was so funny, Blaine just had to laugh.

"Yeah. You remember how you referred to McKinley as 'the school with the kickass cheerleading team'?"

"Yes," Laurel replied, the word drawn out in a skeptic tone.

"Kurt was on it. Their crazy coach, Coach Sylvester, asked him to come help teach some of the newbies a routine." Blaine paused, trying hard to concentrate on the older woman and not on the way Kurt moved his hips.

"So he brought you along to sit on a bench and watch him teach a cheerleading routine? How romantic."

"I think sexual would be a better word."

Laurel's eyebrows flew to her hairline and Blaine thought that he really needed to start thinking before he spoke.

"Not like that. We didn't…It's not like that. _Kurt's _not like that. For all the flirting and the teasing and the smirking, he's actually really shy when sex is brought up."

"So you two are discussing sex already?"

Okay, that might not have helped as much as Blaine thought it would.

"No, no! Just…nevermind. It's hard to explain. All you need to know is that no, we are not talking about sex. I don't think he'd even want to, if his facial expressions at any slight or indirect mention of sex are any indication."

Laurel still looked skeptical, but she waved her hand. "Okay, we'll have the sex talk later—"

"_So_ unnecessary."

"—but for now, continue telling me the story of your first date with Soulmate."

That lovesick smile wormed its way back onto Blaine's face at the nickname. "After the cheerleading episode, as we headed back to his car, I held his hand. It was nice." He thought back to the way Kurt's fingers slipped perfectly in the slots between his own; as if their hands were made to fit together. "And then he took me to the arboretum."

The atmosphere immediately shifted, and Laurel visibly stiffened. "Did you tell him…?"

"I knew where we were going before we even got there," Blaine continued, ignoring his cousin's question. "He noticed the way my mood changed, and asked what was wrong. It turns out his mother used to take him there too." Thinking back on what Kurt had told him, the smile left Blaine's face completely. "He took me to a little clearing off-trail, where we could be alone."

Blaine suddenly stopped, unsure of what to say next. Should he really talk about what had happened there? Kurt shared something very personal, and it didn't feel right to talk about it with someone else. It was Kurt's story, what right did he have to spread it to others?

"And then we just talked for a few hours and he brought me home," he said, shrugging.

He made to get up from the couch but Laurel caught his wrist, holding him there. "Hold on a second. There's something you're not telling me."

"No there's not," Blaine lied, averting his eyes.

"Yes, there is. I know that look. What happened? Did he hurt you? Did he…?"

"What? No! I already told you, he's not like that. Look, it's just…he shared something with me. Something personal and I don't feel comfortable telling it to you because it's his story to tell, not mine. All I'll say is that things got a little…emotional."

"Emotional…" Laurel repeated, eyeing Blaine oddly.

"We cried, okay?" Blaine exclaimed, now completely frustrated with his cousin. He leapt up from the couch and started pacing in front of the muted television. "He told me something really sad and he cried and he was embarrassed so I told him about Mom and Dad to make him feel not so alone in his breakdown."

"Wait," she studied him hard, her eyes wide, "When you say you told him about your parents, you mean the abridged version right? You came out, they weren't happy, you left, the end?"

Blaine sighed, pausing in his trail to look directly into his cousin's eyes. "No. I mean I told him everything. About you and I at the family reunion in 2006, about me coming out 2 years later, and _exactly _what happened that night. About all the legal stuff—"

"Oh, Blaine."

"—and about everything you did for me, have done for me…I told him about everything."

Laurel just sat there, staring at Blaine with concern written all over her face. Just the fact that she wasn't speaking said everything Blaine needed to know. "Don't say it, Laur. I don't want to hear it."

"Blaine—"

"Don't."

"That's not normal," she said, ignoring the fact that he told her not to. "You never talk about that. Hell, I don't think you even told _Trevor_ about that."

Blaine clenched his teeth. "I didn't. And it would be really great if you stopped comparing Kurt to _him. _For that matter, it would be really great if you would stop bringing him up at all."

"You called him Soulmate after knowing him for a day, Blaine!" Laurel shouted, jumping up from the couch. "You knew him for less than 5 minutes before you were flirting with him! Two weeks later, you two are going on your _first date_, where apparently he shared something really private and you told him something you haven't told _anyone_! What do you expect me to do? I'm worried about you." Her voice grew softer and she crossed the room, placing her hands on his shoulders and trying to look into his eyes. He refused, staring at the floor. "Look at me." Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze to meet hers. "I'm just worried about you. I thought, after everything that happened with…_him_…there was a while when I didn't know what would happen. You were so…_broken_, Blaine. So unbelievably broken, and I didn't know what to do. I was scared for you, I thought you might try to…"

They both shut their eyes and turned away, shuddering at the thought. "But then you joined the Warblers and found happiness again. Your life just completely turned around and I was so relieved, I thought the worst of it was over and we could move on with our lives, until you left for New York. You got that scholarship, Blaine, you beat out so many kids and you earned that, and I'm so proud of you for it. I thought, this is his chance; he's finally going to get out of this shit hole and live a real life, away from all the horrible people here. I knew you'd find another boy, but I thought it would be in New York, when you were already gone and at college and having the time of your life. I figured you'd go on a few dates, try out different guys, develop a 'type.' And maybe a year or two down the road, you'd find one you wanted to bring home to me.

"I never thought you'd fall in love, just a few months shy of escaping, after knowing the kid for two weeks."

"I'm still leaving," Blaine whispered. "So is he. Regardless of whether this turns into anything, I'm going; either way he's going too."

"And that's what scares me," Laurel replied, meeting Blaine's hazel eyes again. "That right there."

"What?"

"You didn't even deny that you're in love with him."

"I…" Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to finish his denial statement.

"Exactly." The blonde took his face in her hands. "Be careful, Blaine. You have such an open heart, and you love so fiercely. That's always been your downfall. You fall too quickly, love too much, and let's just say hypothetically that you two do decide to become an official couple. Let's say you stay together all summer, and when you go away to college together, you think you're so in love that nothing can break you guys apart. What happens if Kurt decides that he wants to experience college and all that is has to offer, and wants to see other people? What if he doesn't want to be tied down?" She curled the short ends of his hair behind his ear. "What if he breaks your heart and I'm not there to help you pick up the pieces, Blaine?"

"He wouldn't do that."

"He could."

"No," Blaine practically spit the word at her, throwing her hands from his face and walking away. He turned back to her, ranting from the archway that connected the living room to the dining room. "I know that half of this I'm probably making up in my head. I know that I'm probably blowing it up to make this bigger than it is. _I know_ that we've barely begun to know each other, and that my feelings are out of control. But that's just it, you can't control how you feel. I don't know if I would call it love yet, it sounds crazy to say you love a person after the first date, but they say you know when you know. And something about this just feels _right_. Something is telling me that this is all going according to some grand plan; Kurt and I were meant to meet. It's fate.

"But I'm not stupid, Laurel. After what happened with Trevor," he bit out the name, literally leaving a bitter after taste in his mouth, "I'm not naïve enough to think Kurt and I are going to skip out into the sunset and live happily ever after. I'm still cautious; I know the risks I'm taking with him. He could turn out to be exactly like Trevor and I could go through everything all over again…" Blaine had to pause and take a steadying breath, keep himself rooted in the present and not go back there. "But he's worth it. For Kurt…For Soulmate," he added, laughing to himself, "I'm willing to take those risks. I'm not asking you to be happy for me or to completely accept it, but just please, don't try to stop me. Don't try to deter me from being with him. Because it won't work. I just want to be with him."

Neither of them spoke; instead, they just stood still, staring at each other, letting the other's words sink in. It was too much, it was all just too much. The memories of Trevor were trying to break free in Blaine's mind, trying to rush back at him and remind him how real the possibility was that Kurt might just follow that same pattern.

But he had to believe. He had to have faith that this time, it would be different. It wasn't love with Trevor, Blaine could see that clearly now. But why was that only clear to him now, why couldn't he tell the difference at the time?

Because at the time, he didn't have anything real to compare it to.

"Fine," Laurel sighed. "Alright, I'll…I'll try to leave you alone about him. You can keep whatever this is up with Soulmate, not like I could really stop you, you're 18 now anyway, but I promise I won't let it come between us. I need you to promise me two things, though."

Blaine was so relieved that Laurel had given up fighting him on this that he was ready to promise his soul. "Anything."

"One, you keep me updated. Just…don't be afraid to talk to me about him because you think I won't approve. I still want to know every overly-saccharine, lovey-dovey detail, got it?"

Despite the situation, Blaine cracked a small smile. "Got it."

"Two, I want you to talk to Kurt. The next time you see him, I want you to ask him exactly what is going on between the two of you so that you're both on the same page. I know in your head you two are already married with 2 kids and a dog and a white picket fence, but that's even more reason for you to find out exactly where he sees this going. Okay?"

That was a little less easy to agree to. If Blaine asked him where he saw the relationship going after only one date, that would surely scare him off. Then again, maybe it would be a good thing. If Kurt was running away at the mere thought of a relationship, he wasn't right anyway.

"Okay."

…

_June 18, 2012_

That Sunday, Blaine spent the entire day lying in his room, wishing that he had gotten Kurt's number so they could have been texting or talking on the phone or _something_. And really, wasn't it a bit strange that they'd been on a date and didn't even have each other's phone numbers?

_Just one more thing to talk about today, _Blaine thought, sitting in his chair in English and waiting for Kurt to show up.

The thing was, he never did. The professor came in and shut the door and began his lecture, and Blaine thought that maybe Kurt would just be running a little late. But he wasn't. The minutes ticked on and on and Kurt never showed. Part of him was worried that it was because of their date, that Kurt hadn't enjoyed it as much as he had and now he was avoiding him. Maybe he'd regretted opening up about his mom like that and now he wanted nothing to do with Blaine. Another part of him was just concerned for Kurt's safety. After all, accidents happen. Kurt could have been mugged or gotten in a car accident or any myriad of awful things.

By the time class was dismissed, Blaine was struggling to control his erratic breathing because he was on the brink of a panic attack just thinking about all the horrible things that could have prevented Kurt from showing up to class that day.

Blaine knew it was just a force of habit that he still went to the coffee shop after class, because it was part of his daily routine now. But if you asked him, he'd tell you it was because fate brought him there to reassure him that his soulmate was just fine.

The second he entered the café, his eyes found Kurt's glasz ones from across the room, and he smiled in relief. His smile grew even wider when Kurt returned it, and he realized that at the table Soulmate was sitting at, there were two coffee cups.

"Here you go, sir. Your customary medium drip. How was English?" Kurt said, gently nudging the cup towards Blaine as he took the seat across from him.

"I wouldn't know, I couldn't concentrate. I was a little distracted."

Kurt's typical smirk spread across his features. "Was someone daydreaming about a certain stud in a red and white cheerleading uniform dancing to the song 4 Minutes?"

"Actually," Blaine said, taking a sip of his coffee. Perfection on his tongue. "I was more concerned about your welfare than your very talented hips."

The smirk faltered a little. "You were worried about me?"

"When you didn't show up, yes. It's not like we have each other's numbers, so I couldn't text you to see if you were alright. You could have gotten in a car accident or something and I wouldn't even know."

Now, every trace of Kurt's playfulness had drained from his face and he was staring intently at Blaine. "For the record, I slept through my alarm this morning. That's why I skipped English. But I have a feeling that's not all this is about, so is something wrong?"

Blaine sighed, running his hand through his hair and swirling his coffee cup, gazing at the circular motion. "No. Yes. I don't know…"

"Just say it." Kurt's tone almost broke his heart and Blaine's head whipped up to see Kurt looking utterly and completely _defeated_. "Go ahead. I freaked you out on Saturday, didn't I? Taking you to that place, and my mom…it weirded you out and now you don't want anything to do with me."

The dark-haired boy was so thrown off by this that he couldn't even form words at first. _Kurt_ thought that _he_ freaked _Blaine_ out? That was definitely not how Blaine had imagined this conversation would go.

"What? No! No, Kurt, stop. It's nothing like that, not at all…I just…" He took a deep breath, steeling himself just in case Kurt decided that this wasn't what he wanted after all. "Our date was perfect. You weren't lying when you said you had awesome plans, it was the best date I've ever been on. I'm just wondering…I mean…I know it was only our first date and all and I know that I'm getting ahead of myself here and feel free to just get up and leave if this is too much and I'm too much but I was just wondering where you saw this going."

Kurt's eyes danced back and forth between Blaine's two hazel ones, and for a moment, Blaine was sure he'd run. But he just stayed there, _looking _at Blaine like he was the only one in the room, and he quietly asked, "This?"

"This…thing, between us. I don't want to call it a relationship yet if that's not what you want or where you want it to go but I just have to know, because I've been driving myself crazy thinking about it, about you, all weekend, all week, hell, every day since I've met you."

Why was it that once Blaine was talking he could never seem to stop at the appropriate time? Kurt didn't seem to mind though. It was a little startling to look at, because the boy sitting across from him right now was not the same cocky, flirtatious boy he'd met two weeks ago today. This was an insecure young man, frightened at the prospect of a new relationship, a new journey of uncharted territory. If Blaine didn't know any better, he'd think he was looking in a mirror, that Kurt was sharing every emotion that he was having. But for that to be true, Kurt would have to be as crazy about him as he was about Kurt. And there was just no way that was true.

"Really?"

And the way Kurt said that, so tentatively, almost like he couldn't believe Blaine had been thinking about him, just broke him. Blaine no longer had any qualms about sharing his inner thoughts with this boy, because he could tell his random outbursts of candid emotion were not going to waste.

"Really. So, I just…Before I get any more wrapped up in you, I want to make sure we're on the same page."

Kurt smiled, and it was that beautiful smile Blaine saw for the first time on Saturday when they were laying together, just staring at each other. It lit up his whole face and made Blaine feel like he was the only boy in the world. "Give me your phone."

For a second, Blaine hesitated, but then he decided that it just wasn't worth it and Kurt could have said "Give me your life" and he would have done it. So he slid his phone out of his pocked and placed it in Kurt's hand. Kurt pressed a few buttons, scrunching up his face in that adorable concentrating way he did sometimes, then set the phone on the table in front of Blaine and got up, starting to walk away. Confused, Blaine picked up his phone and looked at the screen. It was a contact entry in his phonebook.

_Nickname: Best Boyfriend In The World_

_Last Name: Hummel_

_First Name: Kurt_

_Mobile: (419) 555-6237_

Blaine's mouth dropped at the nickname Kurt had entered, and he spun around to start at Kurt's retreating figure.

"What did you…Did you just…"

Kurt turned around in the doorway and smirked at him. "I won't be in biology today, either. I have a dentist appointment. But I expect a call from you tonight. I like to talk to my boyfriend on the phone every night. 'Kay?"

Blaine couldn't even form the words, so he just nodded and watched his _boyfriend_ leave.

Oh, Laurel was not going to be happy about this.

**Okay, yes, I know, they are moving pretty fast. It's only been one date and already they're boyfriends. But the way I see it, every relationship is different. I know a couple who knew they were meant to be after the first date, and they just got married this past May. So I believe in the old "you know when you know" and "when it's right, you just know" lines. Thus, this chapter.**

**Like I said before, reviews would be great! I hate authors that say they won't post another chapter unless they get a certain number of reviews, I think that's immature, so I won't do that to you guys. I'm just asking that you please give me a review, however small or big. That's all I ask. :)**


	7. Nicknames

**Woot woot! Chapter 7, y'all! Honestly, I was really skeptical and totally insecure when I started this story but your response has been overwhelmingly positive and I can't tell you how happy that makes me! So many more alerts and favorites, and thank you to those people, it's nice to see that so many people are invested in this story. **

**We have some new reviewers to mention this week! These three amazing people, wolf-wispers, smoshlover56266, and last but certainly not least Juliet Hummel-Anderson! These guys are all three new and I love them to pieces for reviewing :) Also, although they're not new reviewers, thank you to gopie and Shimmeh for their reviews this week! It means a lot to me when you guys take the time to write even a few kind words. Thank you :)**

**Also, just throwing it out there again, my tumblr is ****sing-it-like-you-mean-it(.)tumblr(.)com without the parentheses.**

**And now, with one last "Glee is not mine," here is chapter 7 of I Should Tell You. :)**

_June 30, 2012_

It turned out, Laurel was happier than Blaine expected to be at the news that they'd officially become boyfriends. Despite the fact that she didn't approve of how fast the boys were going, it gave her some comfort knowing that if Kurt was the one to initiate the use of the label "boyfriend" when referring to he and Blaine, obviously the boy must be some form of committed to the relationship he was starting with her baby cousin. When it came down to it, she was just trying to protect Blaine, and he knew that, and just the fact that he'd actually spoken with Soulmate and cleared up their relationship was enough to appease her.

It was Saturday night, but another typical night in their household, with Blaine giggling like a schoolgirl into his phone while lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Kurt wasn't joking; he really did like to talk to his boyfriend every night before he went to sleep. It was something that, while adorable, seemed borderline clingy to Blaine. Usually, that wouldn't be a problem, Blaine almost preferred clingy because it meant that the other person actually cared enough that they needed to spend time with you to feel right. That was something Blaine could understand. But it was when he tried to worm his way out of a nightly phone call 2 nights ago in favor of studying for a test _they both had_ the following day that it occurred to Blaine just how much these nightly phone calls meant to his boyfriend.

He'd been a little scared at the time to ask why, because the hysterical side Kurt was not one he wanted to see again, but now they'd both had a couple days to cool off and let it die down, so Blaine figured it was the first time to broach the subject.

"…And then another time, Rachel wore a royal-blue _pantsuit_ to school, which was just—"

"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine asked, effectively cutting off his boyfriend mid-sentence.

Kurt's tone was annoyed when he replied—(Blaine made a mental note to never interrupt his boyfriend again). "Yes?"

"Why is it so important to you that we do this every night?"

"Do what?"

"Talk on the phone."

Kurt was silent for a moment, and then just like that, his voice was cutting into Blaine's eardrum. "I'm sorry, do you not want to talk to me?"

"No, it's not that! I was just—"

"Because it's not an _obligation_. You don't _have_ to speak to me every night, if you feel like it's some kind of _chore_."

"I never said that—"

"I'm not a baby, Blaine. I don't need you to coddle me and sing to me every night before I go to sleep, if that's what you're thinking. I'm a perfectly independent person, I can function without you, you know."

And this is when Kurt really did sound more like a nagging, over-dramatic girlfriend that Blaine was happy he avoided by being gay. Or so he thought.

"_Kurt_, stop." The other end fell quiet again, so Blaine continued. "That's not what I meant at all and you know it. I love that we talk on the phone every night. I love sharing stories about the second halves of our days, the parts that we don't spend together. I love that we swap anecdotes about our past, or little things that annoy us, or stuff that interests us. Every night I feel like I know you just that little bit more and I—" Blaine had to stop himself from saying _I fall a little bit more in love with you after every phone call_. "It's just that the other night, you got upset when I suggested we skip it, and I was wondering why."

"Why…?" He trailed off, not seeming to understand.

"Why they're so important to you. That's not to say they're not important to me too, it's just that you seemed…"

"Desperate?" Kurt offered.

This was just getting worse and worse, and Blaine was regretting that he had ever brought it up. He should have just ignored it like any other good, non-confrontational boyfriend would have. "No! That's not what I was going to say."

"Because honestly, I kind of was; am." Blaine really had no idea what to say to that so he waited for Kurt to continue, knowing with enough silence that he would. When he heard a sigh on the other end of the line, Blaine knew that Kurt was about to tell him another big thing, and it wasn't going to be something easy for him to say. "Ever since my mom died, I've had this terrible insomnia. She died overnight, when I was asleep, and now I just have this irrational fear that something terrible is going to happen while I'm sleeping. Someone close to me, like my dad or step-mom or step-brother…or you…are going to die…

"It makes no sense, I know. It's just…when you're 8 years old, it makes all the sense in the world, and now my body is just used to not sleeping. I'm lucky if I can get more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night, and even then they're hours spent tossing and turning because I have terrible nightmares. At least, that was always the case…until you." Kurt suddenly stopped talking, and Blaine waited again. But then he didn't continue, and for a second Blaine almost asked for more, but as if reading his mind, Kurt reluctantly started again.

"I was bluffing, when I said I like to talk to my boyfriend every night on the phone. I've never had any other boyfriend."

Okay, now that took Blaine by surprise. Kurt was always so confident, so flirty, almost aggressive in his demeanor sometimes. He made it seem like he'd had tons of boyfriends. And with Blaine's history with Trevor, it wasn't like he was about to open the Ex Files, so they'd never discussed it before. It was the last thing Blaine expected that Kurt had had _no _prior experience.

"It was…an experiment, I guess. I thought, maybe if I try to go to sleep right after talking to Blaine, I'll sleep easier. I didn't expect me to suddenly start getting 10 hours of deep sleep every night, but it was at least worth it to see if I could get it up to 6 or something."

Even though he knew Kurt was about to tell him, Blaine couldn't stop himself from asking. "And did it?"

Kurt hesitated for a second. "I…"

"Come on, Kurt. You know you can tell me."

"I get a solid 8-9 hours now. I still have nightmares, but they're not as bad; I can make it through a good night's rest." Kurt paused for a moment, letting that sink in for the both of them, before finishing. "You…you make me feel safe, Blaine. Just hearing your voice has this effect on me, like all of my daily fears and worries are gone, and I know that as long as I have you, you'll take care of me."

Blaine was on the brink of tears, he was so touched by what Kurt was confiding in him. This was another thing, he thought, that Kurt didn't tell anyone about. Not only was he sharing it with Blaine, but the whole problem behind it had been fixed merely by his _voice_. That just blew him away, and gave his heart a fluttery feeling. He was beginning to feel that more and more lately when talking to Kurt.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you all of that. I should have just made up some excuse and been done with it—"

"No, no, Kurt, don't. I'm glad you told me the truth. I'm…I'm glad that I can do that for you, that I can help you like that."

Neither boy said anything, and suddenly, Blaine was struck with an idea. If just his voice put his boyfriend at ease, surely his _presence_ would be enough to get him a full night of sleep _and _take the nightmares away.

"Do you want to sleep over at my house tomorrow night?"

The words were out before Blaine even realized he'd started formulating them. That was definitely not how he wanted to approach the matter. For one, they had yet to progress from pecks on the cheek or lips. It wasn't that Blaine was uncomfortable with that, albeit a little curious, it was just that a sleep over implied much more than that. Secondly, although he was now 18 and capable of making his own decisions, this was still Laurel's house, and he doubted she'd allow her little cousin's boyfriend to spend the night.

"Wh—What?"

"Uh…" Blaine slapped his forehead. That wasn't Kurt's I-genuinely-didn't-hear-what-you-said "what," that was his I-heard-what-you-said-but-I-need-you-to-repeat-it-because-you-just-caught-me-way-off-guard "what." It was too late now. If he changed what he said and backed out, Kurt might be offended or hurt. "I said, do you want to sleep over tomorrow night? I just figure…if the sound of my voice calms you enough to get you enough sleep, maybe being next to me will keep away the nightmares. I mean we wouldn't…we wouldn't _do_ anything. It's a literal invitation to _sleep_ at my house…in my bed…with me…Okay, nevermind, I see how that sounds now. It's fine, don't feel like you have to because I brought it up, just forget I ever said anything—"

"Yes."

Blaine was so busy stumbling over his words that at first he didn't even notice Kurt had said anything in the first place, much less that he'd said yes. "Yes?"

"Yes. I…Yes, Blaine. I want to sleep over at your house."

"O—Okay. Yeah, cool. Let me just…I'm gonna go ask Laurel if it's okay. Just…don't hang up. Stay on the phone. I'll head down the hall to her room right now."

"You have to ask Laurel's permission?" Kurt's voice was full of amusement, and Blaine could just imagine him with that funny little smirk quirking his lips.

"It is her house, after all. She may not be my mother, but it would be disrespectful of me to invite my boyfriend to sleep over without at least running it by her."

"Yes, I'm sorry," Kurt didn't sound the least bit sorry, "Go ahead and ask her. I'll wait."

Blaine padded down the already dark hallway, fleetingly wondering what time it was (his conversations with Kurt tended to make time fly very quickly), and knocked on his cousin's door. He heard a faint "come in," so he cautiously turned the knob and stood in the doorway. Laurel was already in bed, reading a book, her blonde hair tumbling down her shoulders and across her chest.

"What's up, Blaine? Hi, Kurt." She added the last part knowing the boys' nightly routine by now.

He hesitated for a second, hoping that the fact he was on the phone with Kurt meant that Laurel had to be polite and say yes to his request just because she didn't want to seem rude to his boyfriend. "I um…Well I was just wondering if maybe…If Kurt could uh…"

"Spit it out, Blainers, I'm at a really good part."

"Blainers?" came Kurt's laugh from the other line. He tried not to get distracted and all but blurted out, "Can Kurt spend the night tomorrow night?" And, God, if this didn't take him back to elementary school days, asking permission to invite friends over.

Laurel's expression instantly changed, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "You're asking me if your boyfriend can come sleep with you tomorrow night?"

"Yes." He heard Kurt's shocked squeak in his ear and realized how that sounded, then quickly continued so as not to give the blonde the wrong idea. "I mean, no not like that! I just—I mean it's complicated, I can't explain it all to you. I—It's just really important to me. I mean it would mean a lot if he could…if you'd let him…if he came to sleep over. But I promise, that's _all_ we'd be doing. Just sleeping. It's not exactly like we'd have sex with you down the halls anyway," Kurt's squeak was much louder that time and he winced, pulling the phone away from his ear slightly. "Not that we'd have sex at all! Because we don't! Not that you needed to know that, that's probably TMI—"

"Blaine, stop. _Breathe_."

If Blaine didn't know any better, he'd say Laurel almost looked amused at his rambling—almost. She still seemed a little upset that he asked her that in the first place.

She ran her hand through her hair once and sighed, then gestured to her dresser. "Will you grab me a ponytail? They're inside that little drawer in that—"

"I know where you keep your ponytails, Laur."

Blaine obliged, crossing the room and snatching one, then handing it off to her where she half-lay on the bed. She sat up a little more and tipped her head over, gathering up all her hair on top of her head and lifted it back up, wrapping the rubber band in all kinds of complicated ways Blaine would never understand that somehow brought all her hair together in a messy bun.

Finally, she looked at him. "I have a few conditions."

That wasn't a no. This was going better than expected. "Cool, yes, yeah. Anything. What?"

"First condition: no sex."

"I already said—"

"Just say okay."

"Okay."

"Okay!" Kurt called out.

Blaine giggled a little at his boyfriend's excessive adorableness, but sobered up immediately under Laurel's gaze. "Condition two: he comes over during the day and we all have a nice lunch and spend the day together so that I can get to know him better."

"That sounds fair. Is that good for you, Kurt? You don't go to church with your family or anything, right?"

Kurt scoffed on the other end. He thought he heard him mumble something about "I'll tell him tomorrow" and then said louder, "No, that's good for me."

"Okay, then yeah. We can do that."

Laurel nodded. "I'd make the third condition a Door Stays Open Policy, but to be honest, I always thought that was kind of stupid. You two are going to do whatever you want regardless of whether the door is actually clicked shut or cracked open a few inches."

"I _told you_, we're not like that."

"Really? You two are dating and you're not like that?"

"No. Just because we're together doesn't mean we jump each other's bones every time we see the other. We have more self-control than that."

Laurel looked like she didn't at all believe him, but let it go. "Alright. Whatever you say. Then I have no more conditions."

"Just the two?"

"Are you trying to make me add more?"

"No!"

"Do you _want _me to make this difficult for you? Because I can."

"Blaine," Kurt said, "just say thank you to your cousin and leave the room."

"Thanks, Laurel! Goodnight!" Blaine practically shouted. He turned and left the room per his boyfriend's orders before he screwed up what he'd just worked hard at getting.

"Good job, Blainers. I'm proud of you."

Blaine groaned as he re-entered his own room, flopping down on the bed. "No, not you too."

"I think it's kinda cute! Blainers. It has a certain ring to it. I like it."

"I hate it. She's called me that ever since I was _born_. I haven't been able to escape it for my entire life. It wasn't so bad when it was only her, but now you too? Come on. Give your poor boyfriend a break."

"Oh, alright," Kurt sighed. "I suppose there are many other things I could think of to call you."

His lips quirked into a smile and he rolled a bit from side to side, liking where this conversation could be going. "Oh, yeah? Like what?"

Kurt seemed to catch on, and when he replied, Blaine could hear the smile in his voice. "Hmm, I don't know…'Sweetheart' has a nice sound to it. 'Honey' has its own merits, but it seems a bit old; same with 'dear'. 'Baby' has potential, but it seems so cliché and slightly trashy—"

"Wait, you think calling someone 'baby' is trashy?"

"Well maybe not trashy per se, but a little…I don't know. Impersonal, I guess? Slightly condescending, I think. Same with 'babe.' Those two are just…they seem borderline patronizing."

"Patronizing? Ooh. I'll have to remember that. You do realize that you've crossed off just about every pet name off the list. What am I supposed to call you now?"

"I like Kurt. It may not be as cutesy as the others but it _is _my name."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I mean what am I supposed to use as a term of endearment, Oh Smart One."

"You know, I quite like that. You can call me Oh Smart One any time you want."

"Kurt," he whined, drawing out the name.

"Oh, hush. I'm sure you'll come up with something to fulfill this irrational need to call me by a pet name."

"I'll work on it and report back to you by tomorrow when you get here. Speaking of which, shouldn't you ask your dad for permission, too?"

"Eh, I'm an adult now; he respects that. I'll just let him know where I'm going. As long as I'm safe and he knows where I am, I'm allowed to go out and do stuff without asking."

"Really? I mean, it's not just going to a friend's house for a few hours. It's going to your boyfriend's house to spend the night."

"Yeah," Kurt said after a beat, "Maybe I'll just say I'm spending the night at Rachel's house."

"That's the short, loud one right?"

"Right."

"Okay, just checking. Are you going to be comfortable lying to your dad?"

"Probably not. But I'll most likely end up confessing after the fact so we won't have to worry about him stopping our plans."

He smiled at the fact that Kurt was willing to lie to his father just to prevent him from ruining their plans for a _sleepover._ Then, Blaine yawned, and he looked to the clock to finally find out the time. The harsh, green numbers read out 1:47am. Wow, how had it gotten to be that late? He realized just how tired he actually was and held the phone cradled against his ear and shoulder and started to try to take off his shirt.

"Sounds good," he said, working the phone through the shirt and trying to pull it off his head without coming between their conversation too much.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked. "What are you doing?"

Damn. Caught.

"Nothing. I'm just getting ready for bed. Taking my shirt off while holding a phone to my ear isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world." He held the phone pressed tight between his head and shoulder again and started to unbuckle his belt and undo his jeans.

The sound of the zipper going down reverberated in his room.

"Blaine Anderson, are you stripping?"

He dropped his pants to the ground and was left standing in deep maroon boxers. "Maybe."

Kurt didn't say anything and Blaine thought for the hundredth time how uncomfortable his boyfriend seemed with anything remotely pertaining to sex.

"Well, it's getting late, I should probably go to sleep. Goodnight," Kurt said. The edgy tone in his voice was unmistakable, but Blaine let it slide.

He'd bring it up tomorrow, when Kurt was sleeping in his bed.

"Yeah, sure. Me too. Goodnight, sugar pie."

"Really? That's what you came up with?"

"It's two in the morning. I'll do better tomorrow."

"I hope so. Night, Blainers."

"_Kurt!"_

**Tehehehehe. Blainers. *giggle* Okay, yes, I know, I'm being totally immature. I just feel like it's really adorable. ANYWAY! I hope you guys liked it! Coming up: Blurtel (That's Blaine, Kurt, and Laurel) adventures, including an awkward sex talk as promised by Laurel in last chapter, adorable Klaine cuddles, and reasons behind Kurt's mysterious aversion to sex.**

**Sorry if this seemed more like a filler chapter, but next chapter will be worth it (I hope) so don't give up on me just yet!**

**Stay tuned! And REVIEW! :)**


	8. Sleepover

**WOW! It has been a phenomenal response from you guys so far! So many story alerts and favorites, I'm so excited! And let's hear it for my 3 new reviewers: Arrela, perchance to wake, and klainetakemybreathaway. Thank you, guys! :D**

**I love hearing your feedback and seeing how invested some of you are getting in this story. I know there are a lot of questions concerning the impending Klaine break-up and the background of Trevor, and SPOILER FOR THIS STORY AND HOW IT ENDS ALERT, don't worry my little Klainers, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and Trevor will be explained in due time.**

**Also, I upped the rating from K+ to T. I'm not really sure why. I don't really get the rating systems. But I figure if I'm dropping cuss words and there will be make-out scenes and hints at sex (I won't actually write smut, that's not really my thing), then maybe it should be upped to T. But it's not a big deal, and it won't go higher than that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything relating to it. I can, however, claim Laurel. That beautiful, over-protective cousin is all my creation.**

_July 1, 2012_

Blaine woke the next morning feeling positively buzzing. His whole body was immediately fully awake, humming with anticipation of the day's events, and this was all before his morning coffee. He rolled over in bed, further tangling himself up in his bed covers and sheets, with the intent of checking the time on his clock. Instead, he came face to face with his boyfriend who was lying next to him on the bed, and _oh,_ that would explain the dip he felt on that side. That's about all it would explain, though. Blaine was thoroughly confused.

And when you wake up to someone next to you that you don't expect, you can't help but be startled, right? So, it wasn't really his fault that as soon as he saw Soulmate's face, he muttered "Fuck."

"Well good morning to you, too, Sleeping Beauty," Kurt smiled, looking amused, at him and tucked a loose curl back with the rest. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, his voice low and still thick with sleep. "Did I miss something? You are sleeping over tonight, right? It wasn't last night and I missed it?"

It took Kurt a second to reply, and when he did, he sounded almost breathless. "No, you're right. You just didn't specify what time I should come over. I tried to wait but Laurel said we'd all three have lunch together, and lunch can be anytime between 11am and 2pm so I didn't know what an appropriate time was but—"

"Whoa, Kurt, chill. It's fine. What time is it?"

His boyfriend seemed almost relieved to roll away from him to check the clock, and Blaine tried not to read too much into that. "It's almost noon."

"Crap," Blaine muttered, shooting into a sitting up position. "I'm sorry, I have no idea how I slept that late."

"It's fine. I was having fun watching you sleep."

The dark-haired boy rubbed at his eyes and turned around to gaze at his boyfriend, who was still lying in his bed, looking up at him. "I'm sure you were, Edward Cullen."

"Not in a creepy way," Kurt huffed. "You just make adorable faces when you're sleeping. You look so peaceful."

Blaine didn't really know what to say to that, so he just turned back around and threw the covers off his legs, standing up. "I'm surprised Laurel even let you in my room."

It took Kurt an unusually long time to reply, and when he did he had that breathless sound again. "I've done it before, remember?"

He turned around to scrutinize his boyfriend and narrowed his eyes. "Okay, what is with you this morning?"

That seemed to bring Kurt back, and his cheeks flooded with color. "What do you mean?"

"You seem…nervous about something. Or…I don't know. You're talking funny. And I just woke up, so I know it's not something I did."

"It's _because_ you just woke up, dummy."

If this was how today was going to go, Blaine was not happy. He did not like being in a perpetual state of confusion. "What?"

"Your hair…" Kurt paused, and suddenly he shifted, not looking Blaine in the eyes anymore. He looked uncomfortable, like he'd rather be anywhere than this room right now. "It's so…I don't know…_curly._ And messy. It looks unbelievably…hot…"

That was definitely not what Blaine expected him to say. He wanted to say something, but couldn't really figure out what to say anyway, and was cut off when Kurt, surprisingly, continued.

"And your voice…when it's all low and raspy like that, right when you wake up…I don't know, it _does _things to me…and then…I mean, come on, Blaine, this one should be obvious." It definitely wasn't, and Kurt could see that he wasn't at his mind's sharpest when he'd just woken up. "Sweetie, look down. At what you're wearing."

It took him a second to actually comply with his boyfriend's request because _wow _Kurt just used a pet name when speaking to him for the first time and if that wasn't the cutest thing he'd ever heard. After their conversation last night, Blaine wasn't sure Kurt would even want to, but there he was using a term of endearment, and it was like music to Blaine's ears. He would have fainted at the adorableness of it all had he not remembered that Kurt had actually told him to _do_ something, and when he finally got around to looking down, he realized _Oh. I'm not wearing a shirt. Or pants. Or anything but my boxers._

_Well, this is awkward._

And he wasn't exactly sure what to say in the situation. "I, uhh…"

"I'll just go see if Laurel needs help with lunch."

"Right, yeah. And I'll, um…I'll get dressed…in clothes…so I'm not half-naked…"

"Good idea," Kurt said. And just as he was passing by Blaine on his way out the door, he leaned in to his ear and practically purred, "Because I don't know how much longer I can keep my hands off of you if you don't."

Blaine was pretty sure that Kurt walked out after that, but he couldn't really tell for certain, because all of his blood rushed straight to his dick and his brain was left to function without it. I mean, _seriously._ What was with Kurt this morning? He was usually not so forward with sexual stuff. And that was fine, Blaine would take this slow if that was what Kurt wanted—even though that's definitely not what he expected from the tall, cocky boy—but now all of a sudden he was changing his tune? How was it okay to lean into his _ear_ and just _breathe_ something like that? It wasn't, Blaine decided. And it definitely wasn't fair that while he got dressed and brushed his teeth and did his hair, he had to keep his thoughts on dead kittens and his nana's dentures to prevent _certain things_ popping up.

Once he felt presentable enough, dressed in a simple forest green v-neck and black jeans, he made his way down the hall and stopped just outside the kitchen archway.

"…and he's just done it that way ever since," he heard Laurel saying.

"Have you ever thought to hide it from him?"

"It crossed my mind, but the one time he accidentally lost it on his own he went so berserk I decided to never come between Blaine and his hair gel."

Blaine laughed quietly to himself. They were talking about his _hair_?

"I'm sorry," he started, crossing the threshold and entering the room, "is there something wrong with my hair gel?"

Kurt grabbed the bowl he'd been preparing something in and walked over to Blaine. "Of course not, sweetheart. I just prefer it when you let the curls loose. Curly hair is something to be proud of, not something to hide." He ran a hair through Blaine's ungelled hair and kissed his nose before taking the bowl and setting it on the dining room table.

Blaine felt Laurel trying to make eye contact with him, but he was still trying to remember how to breathe because _okay_, now pet names were a _thing,_ and Kurt had just run his hand through his hair, and _kissed his nose_. Like, seriously. He was pretty sure, at this point, that he'd died in his sleep last night due to a mysterious gas leak and this was heaven.

Finally, Blaine met Laurel's eyes and he caught the amused yet guarded expression she was wearing. It looked like the was torn between "aww"ing at the cuteness of it all, and pushing Kurt as far away from him as he could, because in her mind, this happiness could only last so long.

If Kurt noticed anything was off, he didn't say anything; he just went right back into the kitchen and continued cooking whatever it was that they were having for lunch. And now that Blaine thought about it, he really wanted to know what that was. He was always starving when he woke up.

"What's for lunch?" he asked.

Laurel smiled at him. "We're kickin' it old school today with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fruit."

In theory, that sounded fine. But Blaine was very particular about his jelly, and his fruit. "With what kind of jelly?"

"Grape. Come on, Blaine, you've lived with me for how long now? Give me some credit. I know what jelly you like."

"And the fruit?"

"Someone's a picky eater," Kurt teased. "It's green grapes, green apple slices, strawberries, and banana slices."

Blaine smirked a little, happy with the choices and with the fact that Kurt seemed to be in such a good mood today. Granted, Kurt was in a good mood almost every day, but today just felt different. His boyfriend was more playful, more open, more…domestic.

Although green grapes and green apples were the only grapes and apples he ate, he was curious as to why Kurt had been so specific with it. He had a feeling that part wasn't Laurel's doing. "Why only green grapes and green apples?"

"Because those are the only ones worth eating. Purple grapes or red grapes or whatever they're called are disgusting and apples are gross when they're all sweet. I like sour apples much better."

_Yet another thing we have in common_, Blaine thought.

Laurel and Kurt were moving all around the kitchen and the dining room, setting the table and finishing up the food, while Blaine just stood in the archway connecting the two rooms, watching them. It was nice, seeing how seamlessly Kurt fit into their lives. It worked, the way his cousin and his boyfriend moved around each other. There were no awkward collisions, Kurt seemed to know where everything was, and they didn't get in each other's way. It was almost like Kurt was meant to be there, not just in their kitchen, but in their lives.

"Blainers, you gonna just stand there all day or do you want to help me out here?" Laurel asked, gesturing to the cabinet she was too short to reach. Granted, Blaine was pretty short too, but he had about 6 inches on Laurel. Short genes just ran in the Anderson family.

He walked over to help Laurel reach the bag of sugar she seemed to be eyeing and lifted up on tip-toes to get it, but even he was too short. "Seriously how did it get up there if neither of us can reach it?"

"I have no idea."

Kurt, who was already giggling because Laurel had called Blaine "Blainers," started laughing even harder, but came over to them and easily plucked the sugar from the shelf without even having to rise on the balls of his feet. "There you go."

Laurel smiled. "Thank you."

"What do you even need this for anyway?" Blaine asked.

"You know I put sugar on everything."

"Which is why you always have a bag of it handy where you can actually reach it, so why did we need to get this one?"

"Because I ran out this morning when I put it on my cereal."

Blaine balked. "Geez, Laur, last time I saw that bag it still had like a quarter left!"

"I'm an adult, Blaine, I can use as much sugar as I want to!"

"You're going to get a million cavities and all of your teeth are going to rot and fall out before you even turn 30."

"Actually," Kurt piped up, "that's a myth. Sugar and candy don't rot your teeth any more than other foods, like broccoli. Dentists and parents just tell kids that so they won't eat excessive amounts of unhealthy foods."

Blaine and Laurel just stared at him, and Blaine could tell Kurt was starting to get nervous under their gazes when Laurel broke out into a smile. "See, Blaine? I can have as much as I want. Thank you, Kurt."

Kurt just smiled shyly and opened a few cabinets before finding the one he was looking for. He pulled down a small bowl from the shelf and took the bag of sugar, opening it and pouring some into the container. "This way you have easy access to it and you don't have to have the giant bag sitting on the table."

The blonde girl looked contemplative, eyeing Kurt as he closed up the sugar bag and put it back in its cabinet—this time on a lower shelf. Her facial expression seemed amused, which put Blaine at ease. She turned to him and said. "I like this one. You can keep him."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he couldn't help the proud smile he wore as he stared at Kurt. "I think I just might."

Soulmate blushed and turned away, taking the bowl of sugar to the table. "I think everything is ready now."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Blaine demanded, plopping down in a chair at the table. "Let's eat!"

…

Lunch went smoothly, much better than Blaine had been expecting. Of course, Laurel had barraged Kurt with a series of questions about himself; the normal ones that she would have asked, like about his hobbies and where he planned to go to school and what he planned to major in, were all off the table because Laurel already knew all of these things from Blaine. Instead, she asked about his family, which turned very awkward very quickly when Kurt revealed that his mother had passed away when he was 8. She offered the customary, "I'm sorry," and promptly changed the subject to his hobbies in high school. He talked about glee club and being on the Cheerios, which immediately peaked Laurel's interest, despite the fact that she'd already known about it, and the two discussed the pros and cons of cheerleading for children and why it should he considered a sport and how it's more dangerous than football. Really, given that Laurel was head cheerleader in high school, Blaine should have expected that. He just hadn't prepared himself for the mental images from their first date that popped into his head at the mention of it.

Fortunately, he was able to control himself, and they finished the meal all talking like old friends. Kurt insisted on helping to clean up, which definitely won him brownie points, and after that they all went into the living room for some TV. A _Project Runway_ marathon was on, so Laurel and Kurt gushed to each other the entire time about which outfits looked really well put together and which outfits were alright and which outfits were just _not okay under any circumstances_. Blaine would occasionally offer his opinion, but he was just so happy to see his boyfriend and his cousin—the two most important people in the world to him—getting along that he was more than content to just sit back and let them bond.

They all three cooked dinner together, chicken fettuccini alfredo, and talked about all sorts of things in a wide range of topics. It was nice, Blaine thought, to finally have someone to bring home like this and have him completely tear down the awful image of himself that Laurel had built up in her head. When Kurt suggested that they all watch _RENT _after dinner, Blaine was pretty sure that Laurel had accepted Kurt as a permanent member in the family. It seemed an unspoken given that they would all sing the songs together, and after the first line of "Seasons of Love," Blaine had to stop because _wow_, Kurt could sing. Sure, he'd known that already just based off of the facts that he was in glee club and he was going to NYU for music, and he'd heard him sing at that cheerleading practice on their first date, but before that night, he'd never actually heard Kurt really _sing_; it wasn't out of his safety genre, like 4 Minutes, and it was Kurt singing for Kurt. You could tell that this was something he really loved, something he put his heart and soul into. Blaine decided to sing more quietly, although still singing along, to test out and see how well they harmonized. After all, a couple that harmonizes well together, stays together. As it turns out, they harmonized perfectly, which further solidified their status as soulmates in Blaine's mind. Especially when Laurel stepped back and let them duet "I'll Cover You."

By the end of the movie, it was almost 10pm, and Blaine figured it was time for them to go to their rooms and settle in for the night. Not that Blaine was an early sleeper, but he was sure he and Kurt could find _something _ to keep them occupied for a couple hours, if Kurt's earlier behavior was any indication. He had, after all, snuggled up to Blaine's side during the movie, winding Blaine's arm around his shoulders and lacing their fingers. Instead of eyeing them suspiciously, Laurel smiled sweetly at them, so Blaine figured they had finally won her over and were out of the deep end.

"Okay, well I think Kurt and I are going to go to my room. 'Night, Laur!" Blaine hurried to get up when a hand caught his wrist.

"Wait a second there, Blainers. I want to talk to you two before I let you go be in your room, _alone_, and share a bed, _together_."

Blaine groaned, both at the nickname and at the implications of just what this discussion was going to be about. He glanced over at Kurt, who looked both nervous and embarrassed, and squeezed the hand that was still locked with his reassuringly.

"Fine," he said, sitting them both back down.

"I warned you I was going to have a sex talk with you, like, two weeks ago," she said, standing up in front of the pair on the couch. "So, this is me getting around to that."

"Seriously? You do know you're not my _actual _mother, and I'm an adult, right?"

Laurel huffed a bit and crossed her arms. "You're barely an adult; technically, you're still a teenager, because you're eigh_teen_. And your own mother isn't here to give you this talk so I will."

"You do know that she already did when I was 13 right?"

"That was when she thought you were straight. And before you had a boyfriend," she looked pointedly at Kurt. "Now, Kurt, I want to know what your intentions are tonight with my cousin."

"Oh my god," Blaine moaned, slapping a hand to his forehead and running it down his face.

Kurt looked like a dear caught in headlights, and he was holding onto Blaine's hand so tightly Blaine thought he might have been giving birth. "I, uh…"

"Are you going to deflower him?"

"How do you know I haven't already been deflowered?" Blaine interjected.

"Because I know who it would have been with and you would have told me. Quit trying to distract me. I'm trying to question your boyfriend." She turned her attention back to Kurt. "Do you have condoms, Kurt?"

Kurt's jaw physically dropped an inch. "Um—"

"Because promiscuity is getting more and more popular these days for reasons I will never understand, which make STDs more rampant. Tell me about your sexual history. How many men have you been sexually involved with?"

"Okay!" Blaine shouted, leaping from the couch and nearly knocking Laurel over. "That's enough." He was now not only sufficiently mortified, but angry. "You have no right to question him like that. I don't know how many times I have to tell you we're not having sex for you to believe me. We've only even known each other for, like, a month. So chill. Leave Kurt's business as Kurt's business and quit acting like a psycho. This over-protective older cousin bit is getting really old really quickly. Now, Kurt and I are going to go to my room, and most likely we're going to just lie in my bed talking for a few hours and then go to sleep. So, goodnight." Despite his anger, Blaine leaned down and kissed his cousin's cheek. Then, he turned around and offered his sufficiently traumatized boyfriend a hand. "Come on, Kurt."

Kurt took the hand and followed Blaine out of the room, looking down at the ground at the whole time. Once they were in his room and the door was closed, Blaine brought both of his hands to Kurt's face and stared intently at him.

"I am _so _sorry. My cousin is a neurotic maniac. After everything with my parents, she's really protective of me. She means well, she just doesn't know where to draw the line."

"No, no, it's fine." The look in Kurt's eyes told Blaine it wasn't, but he could feel his boyfriend's body visibly relax and knew it was going to be. "I get it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

Blaine studied him for a moment before bumping their foreheads together. "Alright." He let go of Kurt's face and went over to his dresser, looking for a comfortable pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Normally, he just slept in his boxers, as Kurt saw this morning, but now that he was here Blaine thought it would be more appropriate to wear actual clothes. "Did you bring anything to sleep in?"

"Mmhmm."

He turned around to see his boyfriend digging around in a duffel bag that he didn't notice in his room before. "Well, I'm just gonna go change in the bathroom. You can change in here, if you want."

"Okay."

Blaine was concerned at the sudden decline in his boyfriend's speech, but decided to let it go until they were both dressed and ready to talk. So, he gathered up his clothing and headed out his door and across the hall to the bathroom. He changed quickly, not wanting to leave Kurt alone for too long, and then just stood in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror in case Kurt needed more time. The last thing he wanted was to walk in on his boyfriend half-naked.

Actually, that might not be so bad… 

_Stop it! Control yourself._

He shook his head and decided that he'd waited long enough, leaving the bathroom and knocking on his door lightly before pushing it open. Kurt was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor, looking completely uncomfortable.

"Hey," Blaine knelt down in front of him took his boyfriend's hands, gazing up at him. "What's the matter?"

"I…"

Something about Kurt seemed off. The boy in front of him was so different than the boy that had been laughing in his house all day, it startled him. "Come on, Kurt, you know you can tell me anything."

Kurt was still silent, and made no show of talking, so Blaine sighed and stood up. He turned off the lights, then walked around to the side of his bed, noticing that Kurt had finally moved and was watching him in the dark the entire time. He lifted the covers and slid underneath them, leaving them half-folded down at his waist. "Come here," he said softly, opening his arms. He figured if Kurt was comfortable, he might be more apt to opening up. His boyfriend did as instructed and climbed up the bed to slide in next to him. Blaine immediately wrapped his arms around him and brought him closer, leaning his head on his chest and running his fingers through his hair. The moonlight from the window offered enough light so that he could still see his boyfriend's face, which seemed to be relaxing with each run of his hand through his hair.

It seemed to work, because after a moment Kurt took a deep breath and spoke. "I was bullied a lot in high school. I know at Dalton Academy, you guys had a zero-tolerance policy. McKinley was different. The jocks constantly slushied people—"

"I'm sorry, slushied?"

Kurt sighed. "A slushie is when someone gets one of those slushies from a gas station and throws it in your face. I always said it was like being bitch-slapped by an iceberg."

Blaine physically winced just at the thought of it. "Ouch."

"That's just the beginning of it, at least for me. For the other kids in Glee club, AKA the losers, it was just slushies, and those are bad enough on their own, but things were worse for me, because I'm gay. I would get shoved into lockers all the time. Sometimes, it wasn't so bad. The idiot jocks would get underestimate their distance from me, so when they shoved me it was more like a gentle nudge."

He paused, so Blaine ran his hand down his back to reassure him and prompted, "But other times?"

"Other times, they would be having a bad day, or got a bad grade, or were just generally angrier than normal, and the shove was a legitimate shove, right into the hard metal and giant locks that hung off the doors. My junior year, there was this one guy in particular, Dave Karofsky," just the way Kurt said his name sent a shiver down his spine, "who was out for my blood. I mean, he just really targeted me. One day, I got fed up. Enough is enough, you know? I was just so tired of not even being able to go to class without getting some form of injury. So I ran after him, into the boys locker room, and…" Kurt's breathing had turned ragged, and suddenly Blaine wanted to backpedal and not have this conversation. It was obviously upsetting Kurt, and he hated to see his boyfriend like this. "And he, uh…he kissed me."

That was definitely not what he expected to hear. He was prepared for Kurt to launch into an awful story of how Karofsky got some other guys and jumped him or something. This…This, somehow, seemed worse.

"It was my first kiss, you know? One that counted, anyway. Kissing Brittany doesn't really count in my book because she's a girl. But that was my first real kiss, and he stole it from me. Turns out he was so hard on me because he's gay, too. He was a little less accepting of himself than I am. All of that homophobia, it was mainly internalized. He hated who he was, and I was a projection of that. I guess I shouldn't have provoked him, but—"

"Wait," Blaine said, leaning his head back to look at Kurt, who had tears shining in his eyes. "You don't think that was your fault, right?" Kurt's pause was all the answer he needed. "Kurt, honey, that was _not_ your fault. That was all him. That guy…he has a lot of issues. The fact that he _sexually assaulted _ you could never be _your fault_. This Karofsky guy, he's sick, and he needs help, but you did nothing wrong. Okay?"

Kurt looked unsure, and hadn't even noticed that Blaine used one of the vetoed pet names, but nodded anyway, burrowing himself back into Blaine's chest and gripping his shirt like a lifeline. "I didn't tell anyone; I couldn't. He may have been a bully, but a small part of me felt bad for him, you know? He was so obviously struggling and hurting, it must suck to hate yourself that much. So I kept it to myself. I just wanted to pretend it never happened. But it totally killed me inside. My self-esteem, my happiness, it was all gone. Not that I was super confident or exuding happiness to begin with, but whatever I had, it went out the window.

"The only time I ever felt good about myself was when I was performing. But in glee club, I was always just swaying in the background. I wanted more. So, I re-joined the Cheerios. I was on the cheerleading squad for a little while my sophomore year, but it just didn't stick. After everything went down with Karofsky, I went to Coach Sylvester and asked for my place back on the Cheerios. She's a hard woman to understand, but underneath it all she really does care about certain people, and I knew I was one of them. I was always her favorite. So she let me back on the squad, and I started getting my confidence back. It felt good, to be a part of a team that really appreciated me. I always got solos and performances in the center with all the girls dancing around me. It was nice to feel like the star I always imagined myself to be. By senior year, I was made co-captains with her other favorite, a girl named Becky.

"The guy you met in class that day, that was because of the Cheerios. I graduated high school finally feeling like I could make something of myself, like I wasn't such a loser. I had this new confidence that I never had, even before what happened with Karofsky. I was a new person at a new school, I had the chance to start over, even if it was only for a couple summer classes. It was like a test run to see how things would go once I got to New York." Kurt unclenched Blaine's shirt and patted his chest, looking up at him.

There were so many things Blaine wanted to say in that moment. After everything Kurt just told him, basically unraveling everything that made him act the way he did, Blaine just had so many things running through his mind to say to Kurt. Instead of trying to pick one of them, he just smiled and said, "And how did that test run work out for you?"

Kurt hesitantly returned the smile and brought his hand up to cup Blaine's cheek. "I got your attention, didn't I?"

"You sure did." Blaine wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss the beautiful boy wrapped in his arms. But after everything Kurt just told him, he knew that wasn't an option.

This was Kurt's way of explaining why he was taking it so slow, why the idea of sex got him so uneasy. The only real sexual experience he'd ever had had been forced upon him by his biggest tormentor. All Blaine wanted to do was hold on to Kurt and never let him go, never let any terrible things happen to him again. It seemed like life had been too hard on Kurt, and he didn't like that one bit. Sure, he'd been kicked out of his house and disowned by his parents, but he had a pretty good life. He had Laurel, and in high school he had the Warblers, and he had everything open to him. It seemed like, for Kurt, life spit in his face every chance it got.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. If I could go back and save you from it, I would."

"I know," Kurt murmured. "But I have you now, don't I? That's all that matters."

Blaine was pretty sure his heart exploded and that was it, no more, that was as much as he could take for the night. Kurt had used up all of emotional stock for the day and he was out, done, ka-put. But then he felt Kurt leaning up and the soft feel of lips on his, Blaine was more certain than ever now that he was dead. There was poison in his dinner and everything after that had been of his own mind's creation. Granted, the conversation with Laurel in the living room was more of a nightmare, but right now, this was a dream. This was his own personal heaven, and there was no way life could get any better than it was right now, with Soulmate in his arms, kissing him.

"I want to take things slow," Kurt said, pulling back. Blaine whimpered at the loss of contact, which made Kurt laugh and kiss him again, this one more light than before. "I know that's probably not ideal for you, but after everything, I'm still kind of…freaked out, I guess, by other people touching me like that, and—"

"It's fine," Blaine hurried to tell him. He brought his left hand up to press an index finger to Kurt's lips, effectively stopping him, and then moved his hand to brush over his boyfriend's face. "That's perfectly fine by me. I don't mind at all. We'll do everything on your terms, whatever you want whenever you're ready."

Kurt looked so relieved Blaine thought he was actually going to cry. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

He kissed Kurt's forehead and brought them closer again, entangling their legs and holding Kurt tight. They just lay like that, perfectly content to just _be_, for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes before Kurt cleared his throat. "Can I…Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Blaine said automatically.

"Earlier, when Laurel was trying to give us her big sex talk, the topic of your deflowering was brought up."

Blaine tensed. "Yes?"

"She said, if you had in fact been…deflowered…that she knew who it would have been with, if it happened." Blaine knew exactly what he was about to be asked and his heart dropped to his stomache. "Who was she talking about?"

This was it. It was only a matter of time before it came up, Blaine knew, he just wanted it to wait as long as possible. The Trevor Incident was not something he liked to bring up often, or at all if things went his way, and now Kurt was asking. Kurt would find out, eventually. It was an inevitability. Just…not tonight. Not when things were going so well.

"I…I don't want to talk about it."

"You know you can tell me anything," Kurt said, mirroring Blaine's own words from earlier.

He knew he was being a hypocrite by keeping this a secret. Kurt had told him about his own romantic history, though it could hardly even be called that, and it was only fair that Blaine did the same. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Just the thought of Trevor didn't mesh well in his mind with where he was right now. It seemed wrong to bring him into something that was so right with Kurt.

"I know, I just…not tonight, okay? I'll tell you all about Trevor another time, just…not now. I can't talk about it right now. Alright?"

"His name was Trevor?"

Just hearing the name falling from Kurt's lips felt like a stab in his heart. It was all so wrong. "_Kurt._ Please."

Kurt must have heard the desperation in his voice. "Alright. Another time."

"Thank you."

Blaine had closed his eyes, but felt Kurt move his head a little to kiss the part of Blaine's chest where his head was laying before settling back in. "Goodnight, Blainers."

For this first time in his life, Blaine didn't mind the nickname at all. "Goodnight, Kurtie Pie."

"_No._"

…

The next morning, Blaine woke up on his side, facing Kurt, with his arm draped over his boyfriend's waist. To his surprise, said boyfriend had yet to wake up, but was instead snoring softly in what Blaine decided was the world's cutest way to snore ever. He decided to wake him up, payback for the previous two times he'd been woken up by Kurt, and leaned over to loom over Kurt's face. He pressed soft kisses to each cheek, to his nose, to each eyelid, to his forehead, along his jaw, and finally to his lips. Then, he backed away again and watched his boyfriend stir awake.

The second Kurt opened his eyes, he smiled. "Hi."

"Hello, there. How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good."

"Any nightmares?"

Kurt's smile just got even wider. "Not a single one."

**Awwww! Sleepover cuddles, yay! :D And embarrassing older cousin who crosses the line. Not so much yay. I'm on the fence over how far Laurel took her little talk. I'm thinking I'll probably let her explain herself next chapter, but don't shoot me if I don't. I haven't decided yet.**

**Anywho! I hope you guys liked it! It took me ages to write, so I hope you appreciate it. :) As always, please review!**


	9. Trust

**Alright, guys, we have another new reviewer in the house! So please give a giant, amazing, warm welcome to D.H. Knightly! :D They are super awesome—not only because they reviewed, because you know I love and cherish all of my readers, regardless of that—but because they pointed out to me a consistency error which I definitely should have caught. Last chapter, Blaine notes how it's the first time he's heard Kurt sing, but on their first date, Kurt was shaking his ass singing 4 Minutes! Oops! So there's been a minor edit to that paragraph in chapter 8. It's not like a huge deal, it won't affect any future chapters or anything, but it has been fixed. So let's all give an enormous thank you to D.H. Knightly for pointing that out to me! WOO HOO! :D**

**All you other reviewers out there, thank you for continuing with your kind words. :) You know how much I appreciate you! **

**This chapter came a little later than I wanted because I got kind of stuck after last chapter, but my best friend/sister Morgan helped me figure out my next move and talked it out with me and really helped to mold this chapter into what it is. So let's all give a huge round of applause to Morgan for basically outlining this chapter for me! Love you, girl. (Also, just to brag to anyone who actually reads my ridiculously long author's notes, Morgan and I have been best friends for 15 years now, since we were 5 years old and met in kindergarten. Yeah. Be jealous).**

**Also, PLEASE READ THIS PART, I just realized that Kurt slept over Sunday night, which would have meant class that Monday morning, which I definitely did **_**not**_** include, so let's just pretend that their English class was cancelled that Monday. K? K. :)**

**And now, without further adu—because this is already WAY too long of an author's note—I present to you chapter nine of I Should Tell You! :D**

_July 8, 2012_

Kurt's lips were _all over his body_.

That was the only thought Blaine had, the only thought his brain was able to form. Because when there was a boy like Kurt on top of you, nipping at the skin on your collarbone, what other thought _was there? _Why would anyone be thinking of anything _but_ that?

Except for _oh _Kurt's hand was travelling south.

The hand roamed all across Blaine's waistband, falling just below before coming right back up and snaking around to hug his back and _come on_ that was just not fair.

"You're such a fucking tease," Blaine growled, rolling them over so he was on top.

Kurt licked a line up Blaine's neck, following one of the tendons there, and smirked that famous Kurt Smirk. "And apparently, not only do you swear like a sailor when you've just woken up," Kurt's hand slid down to cup Blaine through his jeans, "but also when you're turned on."

As soon as Kurt's hand had been there, it disappeared, and Blaine whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Oh, don't whine," Kurt purred. He rolled them again, once more putting himself on top and bracing himself up with one hand on each side of Blaine's head. He leaned in close and sang softly into Blaine's ear, _"It's me who put you where you are now, and I can put you back down too."_

Blaine sighed and turned his head, catching Kurt's lips in a heated kiss. There was no preamble, no request for entrance, he automatically thrust his tongue into Kurt's mouth, asserting his dominance even though he was the one on bottom. Right when he felt Kurt melting into him, he pulled away and sang back, _"Don't you want me, baby?"_

Kurt laughed. "I thought I told you not to call me baby."

…

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Blaine moaned, flinging his arm out of the cocoon of covers to assault his alarm clock, pressing any and every button until the noise would finally just _shut up._ Then, remembering what happened last time he did that, he rolled over and made sure to actually turn the alarm off, instead of just on snooze. Satisfied, he turned back over and reached out to grab his other pillow and throw it on top of his head, trying to go back to that _amazing dream_.

Why did his alarm even go off, anyway? It was Sunday. He didn't have anywhere to be today. Whatever. He must have set it the previous night, thinking a day ahead. His mind tended to get messed up on weekends.

The more important question was why was he thinking about his alarm clock and not that _stupendous _dream he was just so violently torn from? The one with Kurt _on top of him_, licking all over and kissing all over and _touching all over_. That was the only thing he needed to focus on right now. Maybe if he thought about it enough, he could go back to it. That could happen, right? If he just relaxed, and tried to go back to sleep thinking about the dream he'd just had, he could return to it and pick up where he left off. It was worth a shot anyway. It was only 7 in the morning, he had nothing but time to imagine Kurt without a shirt on, using his mouth in ways that should really be _illegal_—

And oh, hello, morning erection. That was slightly inconvenient, with no Kurt to take care of it. Not that he would. They were still going slow. It had only been a week later and Blaine had only gotten kisses similar to their first, that night in his bed. The night that Kurt had slept over. In his bed. Wrapped up in Blaine with only so many layers of fabric between them. Only so many layers of fabric separating Blaine from Kurt's—

Okay, this train of thought was _so _not helping. He would have taken care of it himself, had he not heard Laurel moving around in the kitchen. Knowing Laurel was awake only a few rooms away just made Blaine feel gross about doing that, especially since he was still mad about everything she said to Kurt a week ago.

I mean, _seriously, _it was just not okay to talk to his boyfriend like that. The fear was evident in Kurt's eyes the whole time, she should have noticed that and stopped. But she just kept plowing on like she didn't care about Kurt at all, which, Blaine supposed, she probably didn't. To her, Kurt was just another Trevor. And there's another thing to worry about, Blaine thought. Now that he and Kurt were together, he knew he'd have to tell him about Trevor eventually. Sooner, rather than later, because Kurt had already asked once, and after everything Kurt had already revealed to him, he didn't want to make the poor boy ask again. They'd been honest with each other about everything from day one. Hell, they were spilling their guts out on their first date. So why was it so hard for him to tell Kurt about Trevor?

Well, hello, bonerkill. Apparently, thinking about Trevor totally killed Blaine's buzz and he now had no problem to take care of.

Snorting to himself, he rolled out of bed, deciding that no way his overactive brain would go back to sleep now, and headed down to the kitchen for food.

"Well, good morning. I didn't expect to see you up this early," Laurel noted from her place at the table, throwing handfuls of sugar on top of her cereal.

Blaine grunted at response, still not exactly on speaking terms with his cousin.

"What woke you up?"

"My alarm," he said, not bothering to elaborate. He pulled the bread down from on top of the fridge and undid the twist-tie, taking out two slices and popping them in the toaster.

"Why was your alarm set on a Sunday?"

He shrugged, putting the bread back and opening the refrigerator door to get the butter and grape jelly. "Dunno." Sure, he could have explained how he probably set it on accident, thinking it was a day ahead than it actually was, but honestly, he didn't care enough to.

"Blaine," Laurel sighed. "I know you're still angry at me for what I said to Kurt—"

"Understatement of the year," Blaine muttered.

"—but can we at least talk about it?"

He spun around and put on the best bitch face he could muster, trying to picture the way his boyfriend did it, because Kurt's bitch face was the best. "What are you gonna say? What could you possibly have to say to me to make what you said okay? Sure, yeah, at first it was kind of endearing. Like, hey, look at my older cousin being so cute, protecting my virtue—even though, from Kurt, that's completely unnecessary—but you just took it too far."

"I know, I just—"

"Just crossed a line. A big fucking line, Laur, that should have been plain as day to you." Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply. "Did you not see the look on his face? He was terrified."

"I know," she repeated, "and I'm sorry. At the time, I was focused more on you. I just want to make sure that _Kurt _doesn't cross any lines."

"And he won't. You don't know him. You've spent, like, a day with him. I've spent almost every day for the past month with him. I'm aware that that's not long enough to really know a person in and out, but as cryptic as he can be sometimes, he can also turn into the biggest open book ever; I feel like I have a pretty good grip on who he is, essentially. And he's nothing like the person you've conjured up in your head."

The toaster shot his bread—now toast—up into the air, so with that, Blaine turned around and grabbed the first one out, spreading it with butter and jelly, then picked the second one up and did the same. He brought his plate to the table and sat down next to his cousin, at the head of the table. He looked up to see Laurel looking at him with a mixture of frustration and sadness.

"What?" he snapped.

"Trevor seemed pretty nice at first too—"

And that was it, Blaine had had it. "Stop comparing Kurt to Trevor! God, you _know _how much that whole thing affected me, I thought we agreed not to talk about him anymore! Why do you insist on continuing to bring him up? It's like I can't fucking escape him." Blaine choked on the last word, digging his fists into his eyes to stop the impending tears that almost always came with mention of Tre—…_him._

Laurel was quiet for a few moments, just rubbing her hand on Blaine's back in soothing circles. He was hopeful that the subject had been dropped when Laurel said, "He asked me about him, you know. Kurt did."

_That _certainly got his attention. He shot his gaze up to catch Laurel's eyes. _"What?"_

"The morning after your sleep over last week, when you were in the shower, Kurt came into the kitchen to cook breakfast, you know." It wasn't a question, but Blaine nodded anyway. "Well, when he and I were in here together, he asked me about Trevor."

Blaine paused, unsure of how to handle the situation. He decided it would be best to have all of the information before making any sort of conclusions. "What exactly did he say?"

"He was at the stove cooking the eggs, and he just kind of casually brought it up. He was like, 'So who's Trevor?' I was taken aback, actually, because I couldn't believe that you would tell him about Trevor. And obviously, if he felt the need to ask, you didn't _really _tell him. So when I didn't say anything, he continued talking, saying, 'It's just that Blaine mentioned him last night, but he seemed too upset about whatever happened with him to talk about it, so I figured I'd ask you so I wouldn't upset him again by making him tell me another time.'"

"I'm sorry, _making me_? Kurt thinks he can _make me _tell him?"

"I'm pretty sure that was his word choice, because I had the same reaction, I just didn't say anything about it."

"Then what _did _you say?"

"I just told him that that was your business and you'd have to tell him yourself. But you really should tell him, Blaine. He deserves to know."

"Bullshit," he spat. "If he's asking _you_ about _my _private life, he doesn't deserve to know anything."

"He was just curious, it's understandable. If you ever told anyone about Trevor, it should definitely be Kurt."

"What, so now suddenly Kurt is this amazing person I can just tell everything to, including the Trevor Incident, when 5 seconds ago he was _exactly _like him? You know what, no, I'm done."

Without even taking a bite, because he suddenly wasn't hungry at all, Blaine shoved his plate away from him at the table and jumped out of the chair, throwing it on its side as he stood. Now, not only was Laurel on his bitch list, but his boyfriend was, too.

Kurt obviously had good intentions, not wanting to put him through the pain of retelling the story of Trevor. But to go and ask _Laurel_ about it? He had no right to do that. Why was Kurt even _talking _to Laurel that morning? Shouldn't he have been just as pissed, if not more so, at her? He sure seemed that way when Blaine got out of the shower and suggested they take their food to his room to avoid having to sit with her at the table. Even aside from that, Kurt should have known not to ask her about that. If it was so obviously upsetting to him, Kurt should have realized that it was a sensitive, _personal _subject that should be brought up with Blaine and Blaine only.

Tomorrow would be interesting.

…

Blaine ignored his boyfriend's texts all day long. He didn't send some excuse about studying or being busy, he just flat out did not answer them. That night, when Kurt called, he knew a simple ignore wouldn't do, not now that he knew the reason for those calls. So when he answered the phone, he assured Kurt that yes he was fine, he just didn't feel like texting back all day, and he was actually pretty tired so he was just going to go to sleep, sorry we only got to talk for 2 minutes, but he was exhausted. Kurt was obviously confused, and slightly angry, but he couldn't bring himself to care. This conversation was not one he wanted to have over the phone.

As predicted, when Kurt showed up to English the next morning, he smiled at Blaine and sat down right next to him, brushing their knees together.

Blaine stood up and moved a seat over.

The hurt that washed over Kurt's face almost made Blaine move back and take Kurt's face in his arms and kiss him until their oxygen supplies depleted. Almost. Then Blaine remembered his reason for being angry in the first place, Kurt's total breach of privacy, and suddenly, he didn't feel so bad. As long as he didn't look at Kurt's face, because if he saw those big, blue eyes shining at him, he'd crumble in a heartbeat. So to keep his resolve, he stayed staring straight ahead, practically burning holes in his professor's head for the hour they were in class. The thing was, as hard as he was concentrating on his professor, he could feel Kurt concentrating just as hard on him.

So as soon as class was dismissed, he wasn't a bit surprised to feel Kurt snap out and grab his wrist as he tried to brush past him.

"Excuse me? Hi, I'm Kurt, your _boyfriend_. Do you want to tell me what's going on here?"

Blaine ripped his arm away, Kurt gaping at him in shock, and sighed. "Not here."

He didn't say another word, but when he descended the auditorium stairs and headed out the door, he knew Kurt was trailing after him. Thank whatever powers above that Kurt didn't try to talk to him the entire way to their coffee shop. But as soon as they walked through the doors and Blaine made his way to stand in line, Kurt grabbed his arm again and started to pull him straight to a table.

"Nuh-uh. You owe me an explanation right now."

"I don't _owe_ you anything," Blaine retorted, snatching his arm back with just as much force as before. "And I'm getting my coffee first, because at this point, I'm going to need the extra energy boost to deal with you."

Kurt's jaw dropped and he looked as if Blaine had slapped him. "Fine." With that one word, he spun on his heel and headed over to a table in the back corner.

So Blaine stood in line, waited for the 3 people in front of him until it was finally his turn to order. Then, he waited for those 3 people's drinks to be made, waited for his own, and eventually made his way over to Kurt, who looked absolutely furious.

He hadn't even sat down fully before Kurt started. "Alright, you made me wait 10 minutes for you to get your damn coffee, so spit it out. What the hell, Blaine? Is this, whatever _this _is, why you were ignoring me yesterday, why you barely spent 2 seconds on the phone with me last night—"

"My phone recorded the conversation at 2 minutes and 33 seconds," he cut in smoothly.

"—and why you're acting like a complete and total _dick _to me today?"

"Oh, _I'm _the dick? Really?"

"Right now, yes."

"Real nice, Kurt. Especially given that _I _haven't done anything. I've been patient with you, letting you tell me the difficult stuff about yourself on your own terms. I never pushed you to tell me something you didn't want to or weren't ready to, or asked _someone else _about something that obviously really affected you, really made you feel like absolute _shit._"

Judging by the way that Kurt's face went from livid to kicked puppy in point three seconds, Blaine knew he'd figured out exactly what he was talking about. He studied his boyfriend's face and noted the dark circles under his eyes, signaling that he hadn't been able to sleep last night. It must have been because Blaine refused to have their routinely phone call. For a split second, Blaine felt bad for Soulmate, but then he reminded himself of _why_ he was so angry and shook it off.

"Blaine—"

"Yeah. Exactly. Not so angry now, are you? That's okay, I'm pretty pissed enough for the both of us."

"Just let me explain—"

"Explain what?" Blaine laughed hollowly, spinning his cup like he so often did. "You had no right to ask my _cousin_, of all people, about Trevor." Just saying the name made his hair stand on end, and he shivered, wrapping one arm around himself and still clutching his coffee with the other.

Noticing Blaine's sudden change in demeanor, Kurt's face just fell completely apart and he reached a hand out, going to touch the hand Blaine held around the cup. He recoiled immediately, causing Kurt to gingerly pull his hand back.

"I just…wanted to know. This Trevor guy, whoever he is, obviously hurt you. You implied that you'd tell me eventually, you just didn't want to in that moment, so I thought instead of making you relive whatever horrible memories are attached with that story, I'd have Laurel tell me instead."

"You don't get it," Blaine sighed, suddenly feeling as exhausted as he lied and told Kurt he was last night. "That's exactly my point. I told you that I would tell you, I just couldn't that night. You can obviously tell that there are, indeed, horrible memories attached with that. You had to have known, then, that it would be a sore subject to breach—"

"Yes, which is why I—"

"I wasn't finished. So if you could already tell that it was something bad, you should have just respected the fact that it would be a hard story to tell, and waited for me to tell you on my own terms, just as I've done for you with everything you've told me. I never tell Laurel any of the stories you tell me, even when she pries, because they're not my stories to tell." Blaine lowered his voice, leaning his face close to Kurt's from across the table. "I would _never_ go around telling other people about your mother, or about your nightmares, or about Karofsky, because it's not my place." He fell against the back of his chair again, now done mentioning things he'd prefer prying ears didn't pick up on. "So why would you think it was Laurel's place to tell you my history? For that matter, what makes you think Laurel even knows the whole story?"

Kurt opened and shut his mouth a few times, reminding Blaine of the cutest fish he'd ever seen, and—_no._ _You're angry. Focus._ _Just stare at the table. _

"I'm not sure, I guess I just figured it was worth a shot. If she didn't know anything, she'd tell me as much. But something about the way she said you would have told her if you'd lost your…you know…made me feel like she probably knew everything." Kurt made a sound like a wounded kitten, which made Blaine immediately look up to see tears shining in his boyfriend's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to hurt you, or invade your privacy in any way. I just didn't want to make you go through telling me that story; I saw how much it killed you inside just at the _mention_ of him. And you did that today, too. I can see how hard it is for you to even _think _about it, much less relive it by telling me all about it."

"How do you not see how that was _my decision to make_? I get why you did it, but, _God_, Kurt." Blaine ran a hand through his hair and shut his eyes. "I hadn't thought about Trevor in a long time, until you came along. I was able to live my life without so much as a fleeting thought about him. Then, suddenly, I meet you. And you're amazing, and as soon as I tell Laurel about you, she reminds me of the Trevor Incident, and it's like it all comes back and it _sucks_. I've been doing my best to just push those thoughts away because you're right, it _hurts_ to think about, so fucking much. But, I'm guessing you hurt just as bad having to relive the stories you told me, judging from the amount of tears that came with them.

"Bad stuff happens, Kurt. It hurts like hell, we wallow, and we move on. Then we meet people who make us feel good again, who give us the strength to relive those horrible moments because we don't want to only share the good parts of each other, but the bad, too. I want to do that for you, Kurt. I want to tell you everything about me, and that includes the Trevor Incident, but that story is going to be the hardest for me to tell. Given what I've already told you about everything with my parents, you should be able to figure out just how bad everything with Trevor really was. So obviously, it's going to take time for me to be able to tell you. You should have just accepted that and waited until I was ready."

"I know that now," Kurt said. His voice was pleading, making it sound like he was begging the grim reaper for his life. "And I can't tell you how sorry I am. I wish I could take it back, just keep my mouth shut and wait for you to tell me."

"Except you can't. What's done is done."

Blaine made a promise to himself on day one that he would never make Kurt look like that. He never wanted to hurt the beautiful, perfect boy sitting across from him. But now, that image of Kurt was cracking, and Blaine was starting to see that Kurt was a human after all, with his own flaws, just like him.

"Blaine," he whispered, reaching out again.

Before he even thought about it, Blaine was standing, coffee in hand and not a sip taken. "I know, Kurt. I know you're sorry. And I can forgive you, I just…I need a few days."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Kurt's voice was so small that Blaine wanted to just throw the coffee across the room and scoop him up in his arms and hold him until they both just died right there in the café. But he knew he couldn't do that. Not when Kurt had betrayed his trust like that. Because that's exactly what he'd done. Blaine had trusted Kurt to trust him, trust that he would tell him in his own time, on his own terms, when he was ready. This whole fight, it was about trust. Sure, it was only less than a month into the relationship, but if they didn't have trust, what _did _they have?

"No. I still care about you. I wouldn't do that. I just need a few days to cool off. Okay?"

"Okay."

He'd only taken two steps before he turned back to look at the broken boy in the chair, the one he'd grown to care about more than almost anyone on this planet. Sure, they were fighting, and Blaine was still pissed about the entire situation…but when Kurt hurt, Blaine felt it. And on top of everything else, he didn't need to feel this; he didn't want _Kurt_ to feel like this.

So before he could let the anger change his mind, he walked back over to his boyfriend and put both hands on the side of his face, angling it so that he could press his lips lightly to the boy's forehead.

"I'll see you tomorrow. I don't feel much like learning about photosynthesis today."

**Awwwwwwwwww! Poor Klaine angst :( Sorry, loves, but their first fight had to happen eventually. And all of this Trevor tension was bound to get to our dear Blaine eventually, so now he's more on edge than normal lately. **

**But don't fret, dear readers, their first fight was just as inevitable as their first make-up will be! Our favorite couple will be happy again in no time. :)**

**Again, the biggest thank you in the world to my bestie Morgan for helping me with this chapter! And as always, reviews are lovely and make the world go 'round! **


	10. Making Amends

**Hello, dear readers, whom I love so much and who are so lovely and would never kill me just because Klaine had a little fight :)**

**We have a couple new reviewers in the house! :D SilverWhiteDragon and Robin Scherbatsky! (By the way, Robin, I accept your marriage proposal! Not only because your review was so lovely, but because your name rocks. HIMYM is amazing). So yayyy, new reviewers, and I got some returning ones too! You guys are just amazing and I love you all dearly.**

**And just so you guys know, the Trevor Incident will be revealed very soon! And because I've been building it up so much and it's such a huge deal and couldn't possibly be explained in a few paragraphs by Blaine, here is my plan: There will be two chapters done completely in flashback, aptly titled The Trevor Incident Pt. 1 and 2. Part 1 will focus on when things were good, and Part 2 will focus on when things went bad. **

**Hopefully, now that you all know my plan (if you actually read the above paragraph), you'll all feel a little better about the situation.**

**Happy reading!**

_July 13, 2012_

"Alright class," Professor Monroe monotoned, making his way around the room and passing out final exams to each student. "As always, when you finish your test, you're free to leave. I'd like to thank you for your cooperation and hard work this summer throughout our time together. I understand summer classes aren't always ideal for you guys, but you've powered through it and done a great job. Once you've completed the exam, drop it off at the podium and have a nice rest of your summer."

Finally, Blaine thought. It felt like these two summer classes had dragged on for forever. He and Kurt had both taken their English final earlier that same day, but like they had for the past week, parted ways afterward until they both showed up to biology. Kurt had respected Blaine's wishes for a few days, actually giving him the whole week. They hadn't been so immature that they sat clear across the room from each other in their classes, but they'd also stopped sitting directly next to each other.

Blaine hadn't really spoken to Laurel, either. He wasn't usually one to hold grudges; in fact, most of the time Blaine got angry, he only stayed that way for an hour, maybe two, until he just broke down and begged for everything to be okay again. Ever since he lost his parents, he hated conflict. He couldn't risk losing anyone else in his life, and he knew better than anyone that saying things in the heat of an argument could damage a relationship permanently.

This was different, though. It wasn't just any argument; it wasn't about something frivolous; it was about Trevor.

_God, even when he's gone, he's still fucking up my life._

Suddenly, Blaine felt like someone was staring at him, so he looked up and glanced around to find that yes, actually, someone was; Kurt. He was subtly pointing with the end of his pencil to something on the wall. Blaine followed the direction and looked at the clock, realizing it had already been 10 minutes and he had yet to even start on his 85 multiple-choice questions final.

He shook his head, rolled his neck, bounced his shoulders and set to work.

After what felt like ages, he filled out the last answer and stood up to turn in his test and leave. He chanced a look over at Kurt's desk, only to find that he'd already finished and left. It figures, Blaine thought. Kurt was always finished before him.

As he stepped out of the room, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. "Hey."

Speak of the devil.

"Hey," he returned.

They fell into step beside each other, heading down the hall and towards the exit. "So, how do you think you did?" Kurt asked.

"Alright. In all honesty, I'm just glad to be done with these classes."

"Yeah. Same here."

Blaine didn't say anything back, but as they walked out of the doors of the building and started heading towards the parking lot, he stopped and grabbed Kurt's hand. For a second, Kurt seemed so startled that Blaine thought he'd rip his hand away. He didn't. Instead, he turned and took a step closer to Blaine. When they were standing this close, Blaine could see every detail of Kurt's face, and he couldn't help but notice that Kurt's dark circles looked so much worse than they had that Monday.

_I guess he really does need those conversations every night._

"Blaine, I—"

"Do you want to come over right now?" he interrupted. "Laurel's not home, she went shopping with some teacher friends from Dalton."

Kurt blinked, like he couldn't believe Blaine was opening up their communication again. "Yeah, sure. Absolutely. I'll just uh…I'll follow you, in my car, so I don't have to leave it here."

"Okay. See you there."

Blaine debated for a second before pressing a light kiss to Kurt's lips, trying to say, _Hey, I'm ready to work this out. Let's just go to my house and talk_. The spark Blaine had come to know found its way back into Kurt's eyes, and it made his heart clench. _Yeah. We're gonna be okay._

As Blaine got into his car and started heading on the road home, he smiled internally. Yes, he and Kurt had had an argument. They'd both done some things and said some things they wish they hadn't, but they were going to talk it out and move past it. Kurt had already apologized for what happened, and explained his side, and now it was Blaine's turn.

Because after having a week to think about it, Blaine realized that yeah, maybe he overreacted just a bit. Or a lot. He hadn't meant to blow up at Kurt like he did, or say some of the things he did. It was just…the _Trevor _of it all. And he would explain that when they got to his house—which, apparently, was a lot sooner than expected, because just as he was thinking about it, Blaine pulled into his driveway.

Kurt was already there, sitting on the front porch steps waiting. At the sound of Blaine's car, though, he'd shot up, so now he was standing awkwardly on the stairs waiting for Blaine to come unlock the door and let them both in.

"Do you, uh…want anything to drink?" Blaine offered.

Despite the situation, Kurt chuckled softly. "No, thank you. Can we just, you know, sit and talk?"

"Sure, of course."

They sat next to each other on the couch, and just as Blaine turned to his boyfriend to begin his apology, the taller boy spoke. "I just want you to know how awful I feel about everything, Blaine. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, for us to get in a fight or anything. You know you're my first boyfriend and I don't exactly know the protocol for certain things, regardless of how confident I work hard at coming across, and I'm just so freaking sor—"

"If you finish that word, I swear, Kurt," Blaine cut in. He could already see the tears forming in Kurt's eyes at the unintentional severity in his words, so he hurried to continue. "I mean because you've already said it enough. It's my turn to apologize, okay?"

Kurt looked so uncertain, so taken aback by the fact that Blaine was actually apologizing, that it broke his heart. Had he really been that much of an asshole? As he stared into Kurt's eyes, and noticed again the dark circles around them, he decided that yeah, he had been. His left hand found its way into Kurt's and his right slid up to cup Kurt's cheek. He traced with his thumb Kurt's left eyebrow, his cheekbone, and finally the dark circle under his eye, and frowned.

Realizing what he was doing, Kurt turned away.

"You haven't been sleeping well, have you?"

"It's not important," he whispered.

And that was just the twist of the knife in his heart, because Kurt didn't think he was important, and that hit a little too close to home.

"Of course it's important, Kurt. _You're _important. And I'm sorry I haven't been treating you like you are." He sighed, turning to put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "I've been such a douche bag to you this week."

"You needed time. It was fine, I understood."

"It wasn't fine, though. I shouldn't have blown up at you like that, shouldn't have yelled at you. It was wrong and for all my talk about you and Laurel crossing lines, I crossed a pretty huge one too." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands again and faced him. Soulmate didn't immediately turn to him, so he let go briefly to bring Kurt's face to his and reclaimed the hand he'd abandoned. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I don't have any excuse, other than it was my time of the month."

Kurt giggled. "Is there something you're not telling me about what you've got going on under those clothes, Blaine Anderson? Because as cute as you are, I'm sorry, but a vagina is a deal-breaker for me."

Blaine shook his head, laughing too, and squeezed Kurt's hands. "Stop being nice to me when I'm trying to tell you how sorry I am for being so awful to you on Monday, and Sunday, and all week, actually."

"You don't need to do that, Blaine."

"I do, though. Because I was a terrible person and you deserve a legitimate apology for the way I treated you."

His tone of voice, apparently, was enough to convince Kurt to stop fighting it and just be silent, ready to listen to the apology he so deserved.

"When I found out you asked Laurel about Trevor, I was already mad. I was still upset at her for that whole sex talk fiasco, and then she brought up you asking about Trevor, and really, it was just bad timing. So the anger just built on itself and exploded at you, and that wasn't fair to you, so I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean anything by asking, and if I take Trevor out of the equation, it's not even a big deal that you asked Laurel about it. In the end, it all comes back to _him._ And I promise you, Kurt, I am going to tell you about him. No one knows the full story, not a single person. Laurel was there for everything, and she helped me a lot, but there are a couple things that happened that even she doesn't know about. I didn't want to tell her; I didn't want to tell anyone. But I want to tell you."

"You don't have to—"

"I want to. Not just because you're curious, or to even us out secret for secret, but because out of everyone that has come and gone in my life since then, I've never felt comfortable enough to talk about it with any of them until you. I know, deep down, that it's not going to change how you look at me, or how our relationship works, that's not what I'm worried about. I just…it's a lot. It's a lot to say, a lot to explain, and it hurts. I—…Right after everything happened, I—…"

For some reason, Blaine couldn't even bring himself to say one little detail yet. Not about before, not about after, not about everything in between. It all just still felt so fresh, even though it had happened years prior.

"It's okay," Kurt said, caressing Blaine's knuckles with his thumb. "It's alright, don't say anything just yet. I never should have pried; you can tell me when you're ready."

He sighed, frustrated with himself. "I know. I will, I swear to you. But right now, it's not about him. It's about us, and me, and how I acted towards you. I just need you to know how sorry I am, and that I had no right to attack you like I did."

"It's okay," his boyfriend repeated.

"Obviously it's not," Blaine whispered, inspecting the dark circles again.

Kurt caught on and blushed. "I'm just a big baby. Don't worry about it."

"Of course I'm worried about it, Kurt. I can't believe I put you through that this week. You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I haven't."

"Oh, baby." Blaine sighed and pulled Kurt into an embrace, feeling his entire body relax now that they were in each other's arms again.

Kurt turned his face in to nuzzle Blaine's neck, and Blaine was about to sigh for a completely different reason this time when he felt the sharp tug of teeth digging into the skin just below the corner of his jaw. Strangely…it was slightly painful and erotic at the same time. He felt Kurt's lower lip drag over his skin until his mouth was at his ear, breathing hot. "I thought I told you not to call me baby," he whispered.

And _shit _if that didn't bring back memories of a very pleasant, very _vivid _dream he'd had at the beginning of the week. Especially when Kurt started nipping and licking at his earlobe.

Blaine pulled away a fraction to be able to think clearly again, and it was apparent what Kurt was doing. After all, Blaine had invented the art of deflection.

"Kurt, stop. Come on." It took every ounce of self-control he could muster to utter those words, and even to his owns words they didn't sound entirely convincing. And his boyfriend took full advantage of that, diving back in to drag his bottom teeth and lip across his jawbone, blowing a little along the way, and _fuck_ if that wasn't the greatest thing he'd ever experienced. "No, wait. Stop for a second."

"It's okay, I'm fine with this," Kurt whispered against his skin.

"It's not about that. You're trying to distract me from how much you haven't been sleeping this week, because of me."

Kurt exhaled and leaned back, not meeting Blaine's eyes. "It's not a big deal. It was just a few days, and we're okay now so you don't need to get all worked up over it. We'll talk on the phone and everything will be okay again. Alright?"

"That still doesn't help the nightmares though, does it?"

"No," Kurt murmured. "I mean, it helps a little, but…"

"But it's not enough. Kurt, why don't you just spend more nights over here? You said it yourself, you didn't have a single nightmare when you were sleeping with me. Our classes are over, so we don't have to worry about school anymore. Just spend most of your nights here, cuddling with me."

"Or we could, you know, try some nights at my house, too."

That gave Blaine pause. They hadn't talked about Blaine meeting Kurt's family yet, about him going to Kurt's house or anything. But now that Kurt was suggesting it, it seemed pretty nice.

"Unless you don't want to, or it'd be weird. I know that I've already met Laurel, but that's just your cousin, so it wasn't like a huge deal or anything. Meeting my family, my dad and step-mom and step-brother, probably sounds like too much and now you're totally thinking about how much you _don't _want to meet them, which is completely understandable—"

"Actually, I was thinking about how nice that sounds."

Kurt snapped his head up to look at Blaine. "Wait, really?"

"Of course." Blaine smiled, leaning their foreheads together. "Why wouldn't I want to meet the amazing people who helped shape you into the beautiful person you are today?"

Seeing the color rush to Kurt's cheeks made Blaine's heart swell, and he resolved then and there to always try to make Kurt blush, because it was basically the cutest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"Okay. You can come for dinner tomorrow, meet everybody, and then spend the night. Sound like a plan?"

Blaine moved his lips the couple of inches forward to meet Kurt's. "Sounds like a date," he said, adding an eskimo kiss for good measure.

Kurt chuckled, and that was that. Their fight was over. They'd both apologized, and now they were moving past it. Couples fight all the time, Blaine thought. It's how they handle those disputes that show the true strength of the relationship. He and Kurt were able to admit what they'd done wrong and talk about it like two mature adults, then forgive and forget. Working through fights functionally was what made a relationship stable. That was one of the big problems that had caused his and Trevor's downfall.

…

That was the last time Blaine thought about Trevor for the rest of that afternoon. He pushed all those thoughts aside and just snuggled up with Kurt on the couch. Blaine was lying down behind Kurt and against the cushions and Kurt was on the edge with his back pressed to Blaine's front; Blaine's arm was thrown over Kurt's waist, and Kurt entangled their fingers together with the palm of his hand over the back of Blaine's. They chose to watch TV all day instead of putting in a movie because then one of them would have to keep getting up to switch out DVDs, and after not so much as a _handshake _all week long, they couldn't stand the thought of losing contact with each other.

At some point, Kurt fell asleep—_As well he should after not sleeping for almost an entire week_—so Blaine used the hand of the arm under his head to start raking his fingers through Kurt's hair. Eventually, Blaine fell asleep too, and that's exactly how Laurel found them when she walked through the front door.

They both woke up at the sound of the door shutting loudly, and a shout of "Blaine, I'm home! Are you in your room?"

"Nope," Blaine called out. "Living room."

The boys were just sitting up, stretching from their nice nap, when she entered the room. "Oh, I didn't know you were here, Kurt. Hi."

"Hey, Laurel. Nice to see you."

"Yeah, I hadn't seen you in a while, and Blaine was moping, so I thought maybe you two had…"

Blaine cut in swiftly. "Laur, remember that time we talked about you crossing lines? You're doing it again."

Laurel looked thoroughly reprimanded, even though Blaine was 7 years her junior, and started to back out of the room. "Right. Well, I'm just going to go set my stuff down and start on dinner then. Are you staying, Kurt?"

"No, that's okay. I should probably be heading home. Thank you, though."

"No problem."

She was already around the corner when Blaine said, "Actually, hey, Laurel? Can we talk?" At Kurt's worried glance, he added to his boyfriend, "Don't worry, I'm not going to yell at her. Now that we're okay, I want her and I to be okay, so that everyone can be okay. Okay?"

Kurt smiled at the repetition and kissed Blaine's nose. "Okay." He stood up and headed out as Laurel headed back in. "You'll call me tonight?"

"Try and stop me," Blaine grinned. With one last beautiful smile, Kurt was out their front door, leaving just him and Laurel, who looked like Blaine might pull out a shank at any moment. _Ouch._ What kind of person had he become this week? "You don't have to look so terrified, Laur, I'm not going to jump you."

"With how you've been acting lately, I'm not sure."

"Fair enough, I deserved that. Can you sit down a sec so we can talk about it?"

His older cousin eyed him warily before sitting down on the floor right where she was standing in the archway.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Oh, real mature."

"It's just a safety precaution, in case you pull out a shiv."

"I'm not going to pull out a shiv, Jesus. I just want to have a simple conversation."

Laurel lifted one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "A simple conversation?"

"I won't raise my voice once."

"Alright, fine. Go ahead."

"You're not going to come sit on the couch?"

"Nope. I paid good money for these wood floors. When I first got the house, it was shag carpet."

"I know, I remember." Things got quiet as they both remembered the circumstances that brought them to live together. But no, that wasn't what Blaine wanted to talk about. He needed to stay on topic. "Look, we already talked about the sex thing, and even though I still think it was weird and out of line, I'm going to let it go for now. It happened two weeks ago, it's done, whatever. What I want to talk about is Kurt."

"What about him?"

"You've been back and forth with him. I first tell you about him, and you're suspicious. You meet him, spend a day with him, and you're all nice and you have witty banter and you're saying that he's a keeper. Then, you throw a weird sex talk at him because you think he's going to molest me, which, who's to say I'd be opposed to that anyway?"

"_Blaine."_

"And then I try to explain to you that Kurt's a good person, and you compare him to _Trevor_, saying that _he_ was nice at first too, and I should keep that in mind. But the next second you turn around and say that if there was anyone in the world to tell the Trevor story to, it should be Kurt, because he's a good person and he deserves to know, and I'm just confused. Which is it? Do you like him, or do you hate him? Do you trust him, or are you just waiting for him to snap? You can't keep going back and forth like this. It's either one or the other."

"That's the problem," Laurel replied, gathering up her hair at the base of her neck and flipping it over her shoulder. "I can't figure it out."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, just, give me a second. Hear me out. It's like, on the one hand, I'm so happy for you, Blaine. I haven't seen you smile the way you have when you're with him in years, if ever, really. Kurt seems to genuinely make you really happy, and that makes me happy, because you know that at the end of the day that's all I want for you, especially after what you've been through."

"So then why the hot and cold?"

"Hold on, I wasn't finished. Then, on the other hand, I'm scared for you. I told you up front that I was worried about you being with Kurt. This whole thing, sometimes, it just reeks of Trevor. And I'm not going to get into that because it feels like that's all we talk about lately—"

"You're telling me."

"—but it just makes me uneasy. I want to be able to just forget about that and focus on Kurt and how good he is for you, but there's a part of me that just wants to lock you away forever. It's the same part of me that was in that room with you at the family reunion talking about you getting your first boner in the locker room showers after gym class." Blaine reddened considerably and looked down at his feet. "It's the same part of me that answered the phone that night two years later when you called me barely able to utter a word because you were crying so hard and couldn't breathe. It's the same part of me that was there after the Trevor Incident exploded. I'm already not a very emotionally stable person, Blaine, you know that. But when it comes to you, I go even crazier. The claws come out, and I will fight to the death to protect you from any and all future bad things that come your way. And Kurt, as lovely as he is, comes across to me as just another person to hurt you. Not because of anything he's done, but because of what you've done."

"What I've done?"

"You've already given him your heart, that's plain as day to anyone who even glances at the two of you. His hands hold it now, and that gives him the power to break it."

Blaine stood up and crossed the room to sit in front of Laurel, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking right into her eyes. "He wouldn't, though."

"Sometimes, it's not something we can control. I didn't say he'd do it on purpose, although that is something too. We don't always intentionally hurt the people we love. But that's the problem. With love, it's such a strong emotion; we almost don't have a handle on it. It goes all over the place, in both good ways and bad. It could make us feel euphoric in one moment, like nothing in the world can touch us as long as we're with that person, but in the next moment, it has the power to make us go crazy. You and me are a prime example. My love for you, dear sweet Blainers, makes me do stupid things sometimes. It kicks my momma bear protectiveness into overdrive and gets me to give your boyfriend a wild sex talk."

"I'm his first boyfriend, by the way. He's never been in a relationship before. So, as just another attempt to get you to stop being so paranoid about us having sex, he's never been anywhere close."

"Did he say as much?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he tell you specifically he was a virgin, or just that you were his first boyfriend? Because you don't have to be in a relationship to have sex."

Blaine groaned and leaned back to lie on the floor. "Seriously? Again with this? What is your obsession with Kurt and I having sex?"

He expected Laurel to have some snappy comeback about STDs or glove before love or wrap it before you tap it, but she didn't say anything. Not a single word. And that just seemed…fishy. So Blaine shot right back up and stared at Laurel hard, studying her face, which decidedly looked extremely fidgety and anxious.

"Laur…What are you not telling me?"

"It's just…it's from a long time ago, Blaine. A really long time ago."

Now Blaine was starting to get worried. "What is?"

"Look, I never told you about this because by the time you were old enough to really get to know me, I was in college, and a very different person than who I was in high school."

Yeah. This was definitely not sounding good. "Who were you in high school?"

The blonde stood up and turned her back on her baby cousin, crossing her arms and almost folding in on herself. "I was…not okay. You know our family; you know the kind of stifling environment being raised in it creates. So once I got to high school, I kind of…broke out. I turned into your typical rebel, wild child. I snuck out, went to parties, got drunk at parties that lasted entire weekends. I never did any of the drugs, though, I can say that. Alcohol, yes, but I would never take random drugs from a stranger at a party. Even in my party girl stage, I was smarter than that. Although, given that whole time period, I guess I wasn't really being smart at all.

"Neither were the people I was hanging out with. Blaine, I can't tell you how many times I had to take my crying girl friends to the free clinic because they were too scared to tell their mom they might have some kind of STD. I mean, geez, these girls were 15, 16, 17 years old. Contracting a sexually transmitted disease shouldn't even be on the list of worries at that age."

Blaine couldn't help himself at this point, he had to know. "Did you…you know…ever hook up with anybody at these…parties?"

Laurel turned around to face him, and she had this far off look and shook her head, not negating his question, but trying to clear her head. "There was this guy I thought was the hottest guy around. He wasn't the coolest guy in school, but I liked him well enough. He seemed sweet, just kind of lost, like me. We clicked at the few parties we saw each other at, and I felt like over that time we really bonded, you know? Broken families and all that cliché shit.

"Then there was this one party the summer before my junior year when I just got totally wasted. I blacked out, and honestly, I still can't remember that night. The only reason I had any clue what had happened was because I was so sore the morning when I woke up, and not just in my head from the hangover." Blaine winced, knowing full well what had happened by now. "I woke up next to that guy, and I thought, well maybe now he'll want to be with me. I knew we had sex, and even though I couldn't even remember it, I still thought that meant something, you know? But to him, it didn't. All that time I thought he really cared about me, that we had this 'special bond,' and he just hung me out to dry. I'm not saying that's all he was after, because even now I still don't think that's who he was, but he just left me. He stopped coming to parties, and no one saw him that fall when we went back to school. He just kind of…disappeared.

"I just want sex to mean something more for you. I know you and Kurt are in a relationship and your situation with him is nothing like mine, especially since you're both not into drugs or alcohol. But the basic principle still stands. I don't even remember my first time, and I don't want it to be that way for you. You deserve the whole special, romantic, candles and rose petals set-up. It's not that I think Kurt won't give that to you, it's just that I don't know that he will, either."

She took a second to take a few deep breaths, trying to collect herself before continuing. "Like I said before, I just want what's best for you. I don't want you and Kurt to rush into anything you're not ready for. This whole thing with him happened so fast, I'm afraid you're going to keep that same pace in the bedroom, and I don't want that for you."

This was all too much. Blaine was still trying to wrap his head around her back and forth with Kurt, and the fact that she used to be a crazy party girl, and that she lost her virginity when she was so wasted she couldn't even remember it the next day. Of course, now it all made sense when he put it together, but it was a lot to take in all at once. He could stare at Laurel all day long and never see her as being like that. She always seemed so put-together.

"What made you change? I mean, obviously you're not that girl anymore."

"No," Laurel smiled. "That summer was kind of a wake-up call for me. I ditched that crowd and started focusing more on school. I wasted so much time getting wasted that I had no sense of what I wanted to do post-high school. I knew that if I wanted to have any shot at college, I needed to pull myself together, and quick. Especially after my parents threatened to send me to military school if I didn't pull my act together. I mean, honestly, Blaine. Could you picture me in camo? _So _not the right look for me."

Blaine chuckled and rolled his eyes at her, rising from the floor to engulf her in a hug.

"I'm sorry I've been so on your case lately," he said into her hair. "And I'm sorry that you had such a hard time when you were younger."

"You didn't exactly have a cake walk either, mister."

"I know. But I had you to turn to. You didn't have anyone."

He felt her burrow her head into his chest. "No," she whispered. "I didn't."

He pulled her away to hold her at arms-length and smiled at her. "Thank you for telling me all of that. I appreciate knowing where you're coming from. I promise that if my relationship with Kurt reaches the point where we're talking about having sex, or I know it's going to happen soon, I'll talk to you about it. Okay?"

"Deal."

They stood looking at each other for a few more seconds before Laurel turned away, walking in the direction of the kitchen. "I'm going to finally start dinner. Any ideas?"

"Pizza."

Her head popped back from around the corner. "Really? You want to order pizza?"

"Is that a valid option?"

"It could be. In all honesty, I don't really feel like cooking tonight, anyway."

"Cool. I want triple meat." She disappeared again into the kitchen, probably to retrieve the phone to call the order in, when Blaine suddenly remembered. "Hey, that reminds me. I was going to go over to Kurt's house tomorrow for dinner, meet his family, and then spend the night there. Is that okay?"

He picked up her purse from where she'd dropped it by the door on his way to the kitchen and set it on the counter next to her while she punched some numbers in. "You're meeting his family?" she asked without looking up.

"Yeah. I mean, he's met you already. And he spent the night here. So we figured we'd kinda do the same, but reversed."

"Sure." She pressed the phone to her ear over her hair. "I don't see why not. If they cook something good bring me home a plate."

"Not happening," he said, laughing at her as he finally left to go to his room.

He heard her start placing the pizza order when he shut the door and smiled. Now that they had had their talk, not only were they on good terms again, but Laurel would stop bombarding him about his and Kurt's sex life, or current lack thereof.

All in all, despite the fact that he had to take two final exams, it had been a good day. He made up with Kurt, got in some good cuddling, made up with Laurel, and set up some plans to meet Kurt's family tomorrow, with the promise of even more cuddling for their sleepover.

Oh, shit, wait a second. He was meeting Kurt's family tomorrow. He was going to meet the famous Burt Hummel, Carole Hummel, and Finn Hudson. What if they didn't like him? What if they thought he wasn't funny enough or smart enough or good enough for Kurt?

Before he'd even realized what he was doing, he plucked his phone out of his pocket and dialed Kurt's number, waiting for his boyfriend to pick up.

After three rings, "Hello?"

"Oh, thank God, Kurt. I'm freaking out."

"About what?"

"About meeting your family tomorrow! What if they don't like me? What if I say the wrong things? What if I'm not interesting enough or pretty enough—"

"Pretty enough, Blaine? Really?"

He could hear Kurt trying not to laugh, but this was so not the time. "This is not a laughing matter, Kurt. Your dad is going to forbid me from dating you once he meets me, I'm sure of it."

"_Forbid me_? Oh, Blaine, sweetie, calm down. It's going to be fine. I talk about you so much that when I told Carole you'd be joining us for dinner tomorrow, she squealed like a school girl and hugged me, gushing over how excited she was to finally meet you."

Okay, well that made him feel at least a little better. At least the step-mom seemed enthusiastic about meeting him. Now he only had to win over the dad and brother. That wasn't so bad.

"You really think it will be okay?"

"I know it will. Everyone is really looking forward to being able to put a face to a name. They see me talking to you every night and are very much happy to see whose beautiful face that sexy voice belongs to."

Blaine scoffed. "I hardly think your dad would describe my voice as 'sexy,' Kurt."

"No, that part I added myself. Nonetheless, you're going to be fine. I, however, want to know about how things with Laurel went. When I left, the atmosphere was pretty tense. You're not still mad at her too, are you?"

"Not anymore. We worked things out and everything is good again."

He could hear the smile in Kurt's voice. "Well, look at you, putting an end to all of your fights. I'm so proud of you, sweetheart."

"Okay, now that's just not fair. You get to call me 'sweetie' and 'sweetheart' all the time now, like suddenly it's a thing with us, but the one time I try a pet name, you bite me!"

Kurt's musical laugh rang through his ear to his brain and made his whole body quiver. "That's because you used one that I vetoed. And if I recall, I didn't bite you _hard._ You actually seemed to like it, from what I could tell."

That was even more not fair. Kurt wasn't supposed to be aware of the power he had over him. Blaine was supposed to be able to keep himself in check and not show how much Kurt's mere _presence_ turned him on.

"Aside from that, you have to give me a term of endearment that I'm allowed to use. Otherwise it's completely one-sided and our relationship is out of balance."

"I hardly think our relationship is out of balance because I call you 'sweetheart.'"

"A pet name, Kurt."

Kurt went quiet for a minute, and Blaine was hoping that that meant he was mulling over his options and finding one suitable. He was very wrong. "Nope."

"Come on."

"Nuh-uh."

"Fine," Blaine resolved. "I'm just going to call you every pet name in the book until you tell me one that's acceptable."

"Don't you dare."

"What's the matter, _baby?_ Don't I dare what, _honey? _I'm just talking to you, _darling._ Not doing anything wrong."

Even though Kurt sighed, trying his best at sounding exasperated, he knew that in reality, Kurt loved it. "Stop it."

"Stop what, _babe?_"

"I'm going to hang up."

"No you're not, _dear._"

"Just you wait and see."

"You wouldn't do that to me, would you, _pumpkin?_"

Blaine could feel the eye roll. "'Pumpkin,' Blaine? Seriously? That's your next move?"

"And there are so many more I can think of, you don't even want to know."

The night continued on in much the same fashion, with the two boys teasing each other and playing and just generally catching up on all the cuteness they'd missed out on all week. They never even really talked about anything serious or meaningful. Honestly, they were content with just hearing the other's voice, a privilege they'd both sorely missed.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

**Our babies are back together again. Proud momma tears for our boys working it out. :')**

**Anyway, coming up is the Hudmel dinner, which should be all loads of fun! So far, the only characters we've really seen are Blaine, Kurt, and Laurel, and it's been getting kind of monotonous and boring. So we're going to shake it up a bit by bringing in Burt, Carole, and Finn! Hilarity ensues!**

**Hope you guys liked it. Reviews make my heart sing. :)**


	11. Alice in Wonderland

**Yay new reviewers again! I didn't originally intend this to be a thing, where shout out new reviewers, but I figure if I'm going to grovel like a freak for reviews, I might as well give recognition to those who give in. :) So thank you to Sheree T and icing(.)ontop(.)the(.)cake for revieweing :) Obviously the latter is without the parentheses but for some reason FF hates when we use punctuation with no spaces.**

**Anywho, not much to say, thank you guys for following this story and sharing this experience with me. I'm just as much along for the ride as you guys!**

_July 14, 2012_

Blaine stood on the front stoop of Kurt's house and leaned forward to ring the doorbell, then took a step back so he wouldn't be invading the personal space of whoever it was who opened the door. He waited patiently for about 15 seconds before he heard Kurt shouting behind the door, but far off, "I'll get it, I'll get it! I swear on my wardrobe, Finn, if you _open that door_—"

Before Kurt got to finish his threat, the door swung open to reveal an extremely tall boy who looked to be about his and Kurt's age. His build was weird; he looked muscular but gangly at the same time. Short, brown hair was in tufts all over his head, like he'd just woken up at 5 o'clock in the evening. Blaine realized that he recognized the guy as the lead male in Kurt's glee club.

The kid looked him up and down once, scrutinizing, before turning slightly to Kurt and saying, "Hey, Kurt, your boyfriend's here."

"Yes, I can see that, Finn," Kurt retorted through gritted teeth. "Thank you so much for your help. You can go back to your video games now."

Finn headed back into the depths of the house, yelling out, "_Hey, Burt, Kurt's boyfriend is here! It's okay, he's really short!"_

Kurt looked mortified for a moment as he took Blaine's hand and tugged him in the house before calling back, "Shut it, Frankenteen! Compared to you everyone is short!" Then he turned his face to Blaine, all evidence of annoyance instantly washing away and being replaced with a smile. "I'm glad you're here. Come on, I'll take you up to my room and you can set your bag down," Kurt lowered his voice with a smirk, "and I can greet you properly."

"I heard that, Kurt," came a woman's voice from another room. "Better keep that talk to a minimum when Burt's in the room, you know I had to practically twist his arm to get him to agree to this little sleepover you've arranged." As she continued talking, she started coming into the room and smiled at the couple.

Suddenly, Blaine felt like he was in Grand Central Station. He was so used to it just being him and Laurel that when he was in a house of 4 instead of 2, it felt chaotic. People constantly running around and shouting at each other and having more than one conversation happening at once. It felt overwhelming, but in a good way; in a homey way.

"I know. I am forever in your debt, Carole."

She smiled sweetly again before opening her arms and engulfing Blaine in a hug. "You must be Blaine! We've heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already." She pulled away but kept her shoulders on his biceps, getting a good look at him. "Oh, and you're even more handsome than Kurt described."

Instead of being embarrassed, like Blaine would have been if the tables were reversed, Kurt just gazed fondly at him. "I told you I'd never be able to do him justice."

Finally, Blaine gained control of the situation, and his manners, and realized that he hadn't said a word since he'd gotten here. "Thank you, ma'am," he said. "I had my fair share of struggles trying to describe this one," he wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist, effectively getting out of Carole's grasp. "to my cousin."

"Laurel, right?" Carole asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

She put a hand to her chest and looked at Kurt like she couldn't believe his saying "ma'am" wasn't a one-time fluke. "Oh, Kurt, he has such impeccable manners, too! Blaine, you should bring Laurel with you next time, I'd love to meet her as well."

"Of course."

The three stood in a few seconds of silence before Carole spoke again. "Well, I won't keep you boys. Go ahead on up to Kurt's room, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

"Thanks, Carole," Kurt said, kissing her on the cheek before sliding out of Blaine's grasp but reaching out to grab his hand again and lead him upstairs.

Blaine didn't see Finn again on the way to Kurt's room and assumed that the boy had, indeed, gone back to his video games. Not that he exactly minded; it wasn't often that someone called him out on his height after only knowing him for a few seconds. He wanted to be a little bit offended, but instead he just found it endearing. These people were a cute little family, the one that Blaine never had a chance to have for himself. He wondered, fleetingly, where Burt was and why he hadn't seen the man yet, but then Kurt was leading him into a room and shutting the door behind them, and suddenly he was shoved against said door with a pair of lips attacking his own.

Not that he would complain. Blaine immediately reciprocated, dropping his bag of clothes for the night at their feet and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him flush against his body. Kurt ran the tip of his tongue along the roof of Blaine's mouth, which _of course _made him moan because that was even better than when Kurt had been nipping at his earlobe, but Kurt pulled away. He pecked Blaine's lips again before leaning his head back so they weren't tempted to dive back in.

"Hi," Kurt whispered.

Blaine laughed and tightened his grip on his boyfriend's torso. "Hi, yourself. That was…"

"I told you I'd bring you up here and greet you properly."

"You should properly greet me every time you see me, if this is what happens."

"I just might," Kurt murmured, leaning in to kiss him again.

One moment, they were blissfully happy making out against Kurt's bedroom door, and the next they were thrown violently to the floor, Blaine lying on top of Kurt, both of them groaning in pain. Blaine rolled off of Kurt before things got too awkward and rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore the awful pain in his knee where it had fallen directly onto the floor between Kurt's legs.

He peered over to Kurt, who was struggling to sit up but glaring at the now open door and Finn standing in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob.

"Sorry, dudes. Didn't know you were standing there. You shouldn't really be standing right behind a door anyway."

"Yes, I'm sorry, Finn," Kurt grunted. "I didn't anticipate you throwing my door open without knocking first. This was clearly my fault."

Finn looked uncertain for a few moments, shifting from foot to foot, and Blaine decided that Kurt wasn't just being mean when he said Finn was a little on the dumb side, he was just being honest.

"Are you going to stand there all day or tell me why you felt the need to burst into my room?" Kurt snapped.

"I, uhh…Can I borrow your…I just needed…Okay, honestly, Burt told me to check on you guys. He said my job for tonight is to come across the hall to your room every 10 minutes to make sure you weren't doing anything gross."

"Because metaphorical heaven forbid I kiss my boyfriend, right?" Kurt slowly sat up, then winced.

Blaine noticed immediately and shot up to place a gentle hand on his boyfriend's back, tucking the boy's phrasing away in his brain to ask him about after Finn left. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," he said softly. Then, he directed his attention back to his step-brother. "Finn, however, I can't say the same for. Go away before I _battement_ your _derriere_."

Blaine giggled at his boyfriend's word choice and looked up at Finn to see the boy sputtering, clearly not having any clue what Kurt just said, and he laughed again.

"I don't even know what that means."

"It means he's going to kick your ass," Blaine supplied.

"Oh." Finn looked unsure again but started backing away. "I wouldn't really take you seriously except for that I've seen how many boots you have in your closet, and I'm afraid of what you'd to do me while wearing them. So, uh…I'll just see you guys at dinner."

"Wise decision," Kurt said as Finn finally left the room, closing the door behind him.

Now that Finn was finally out of their hair again, Blaine could concentrate on the important matters, like the fact that Kurt was reaching one hand behind to massage his lower back and bringing the other to the back of his head. His face was contorted with pain, and Blaine jumped into action.

"Come on," he urged, drawing his boyfriend to his feet and guiding him over to the bed. "Lie down. You're hurt."

"I'll be okay," Kurt said, entirely unconvincing. Blaine didn't miss that this was the second time he said he _would be_ okay, implying that at the moment, he wasn't. He also didn't miss that despite the fact Kurt was brushing him off with his words, he was following Blaine's guidance and collapsing onto the bed. "I just landed on the floor wrong. It's not a big deal. I'll be alright."

"Hush," Blaine murmured. "You're in pain; let me take care of you."

"It's temporary, don't worry about it."

Blaine knelt beside the bed and rested his head down on the mattress, directly in front of Kurt's face so they were staring at each other. He lifted a hand and started to run it through Kurt's hair, trying not to dwell on the small bump he felt at the back of Kurt's head. "When are you going to get it through your head? I worry about you. That's a good thing. It means I care." Kurt still seemed reluctant, but didn't say anything in response because he was too tired. Blaine furrowed his brows, upset by his boyfriend's rebuff of someone taking care of him.

He was about to ask about it when they heard a knock on the door and a man with a baseball cap and a plaid, flannel shirt was stepping into the room. It took Blaine a moment to realize that their current position, with how close their faces were and his fingers threaded through Kurt's hair, was probably more intimate than his boyfriend's father should be seeing. So he shot away, rocking back on his heels before standing and walking over to the man, extending his hand.

"Hello, sir. I'm Blaine Anderson."

Kurt's dad took the proffered hand and gave it a good, firm shake before narrowing his eyes at Blaine, studying him, and letting go. "I know who you are."

"Right, yeah," Blaine said, and he hated himself for feeling so small in front of Kurt's dad, a man that meant so much to Kurt. He wanted to badly to impress the person before him, he had only tonight to do so, and already he felt like he was failing miserably.

He heard Kurt get off the bed and felt his boyfriend press up against him from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. "Be nice, Dad."

Burt rolled his eyes at his son, ignoring the reprimand. "Carole sent me up here to tell you dinner's ready."

"We'll be down in a sec."

Burt looked like he wanted to fight him on it, saying they could just come down with him right now, but let it go and left without another word.

Blaine felt Kurt's lips pressing lightly along the back and side of his neck before he spun around in Kurt's arms.

"Your dad is terrifying," Blaine said.

Kurt smirked and nuzzled his nose against Blaine's cheek. "Nonsense. He liked you."

"He hated me."

"He loved you."

"He's going to kick me out after dinner."

"Blaine," Kurt laughed. "stop being ridiculous. That handshake was a test. My dad gauges a man's worth based on his handshake, and I could tell by his face that he was impressed by yours."

Blaine pulled away and looked at Kurt. "Really?"

"Really."

They smiled at each other for a moment before Blaine relented, taking Kurt's hand. "Alright. Then I guess I'm ready for dinner."

…

Once Blaine met everybody, he felt a little calmer about dinner. Carole had been lovely, the epitome of the perfect step-mother; Finn was…well, he was cool enough, just a bit of a doof. Burt was the only one Blaine was still worried about, but Kurt was quick to reassure him that his dad wouldn't be a problem.

So there they all were seated at the table, Burt at the head of the table with Carole on his right, Kurt on his left, and Blaine next to Kurt and Finn next to Carole. The seating arrangements worked out perfectly, almost like that's how it was supposed to be. Burt chose to eat with his fork in his left hand so that he could hold Carole's in his right over the corner of the table. Blaine smiled at the sight, not having had a functional couple to look up to. His parents were certainly not a good role model in that department, and even they were gone now. But looking at Burt and Carole put a kind of warmth in his heart, like he could see that being him and Kurt in the future.

Blaine scooted his chair closer and wrapped his foot around Kurt's ankle under the table, causing his boyfriend to glance up through his lashes at him, giving him the sweetest look ever, before taking his left hand off the table and placing it just above Blaine's knee, mid-thigh.

Their interaction didn't go unnoticed. Burt coughed, clearly about to say something, when Carole piped up. "So, Blaine, Kurt tells us you're going to NYU in the fall as well, and in the music program like him."

"Yes, ma'am," Blaine replied politely, smiling at her. "I almost didn't believe him when he told me he was doing the same."

"It was quite the story for us all. What are your plans for after you graduate?"

"Carole," Kurt whined, "we haven't even started college yet and you're already asking him about what he's doing after?"

Blaine smiled and nudged Kurt with his shoulder. "Technically, we have started college. That's how we met, remember? And I don't mind answering." He felt his heart swell at the blush that rose in Kurt's cheeks at the mention of how they met, which was just such a coupley thing to do, and turned his attention to Carole. "To be honest, I'm not really sure yet. The only thing I know for sure is music. It's the only thing that's ever made sense to me in my life, no matter what I'm going through. I like to say that there's a song for everything. Whatever you're feeling at any given time, there's a song out there that expresses it exactly. When language fails, there's music." He broke off, staring down at his plate for a second before looking back up to his boyfriend's parents' faces. "So, whatever it is I end up doing, I just know that it has to be music."

Carole was looking at him with this proud look on her face, and he knew she must have been satisfied with his answer. It threw Blaine off, for a second, that a woman he'd known for less than a day could be proud of him, when his own parents couldn't be proud of him in his entire 18 years of life.

"That's perfectly fine. At least you know it's music. I changed my major, oh, 4 times in college before finally deciding on nursing."

Blaine stiffened, praying that no one would be able to tell just by looking at him. Kurt, however, with their close proximity and his ability to know everything about Blaine with a single glance, definitely noticed. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at Blaine but didn't say anything, so Blaine pretended it didn't happen and continued with the conversation.

"You're a nurse?" he asked.

"Yep, at Lima Memorial Hospital. I work mostly in pediatrics, but if they need me I float around just doing what I can."

The sudden constricting Blaine felt in his chest just got worse when she mentioned pediatrics. Just thinking about hospitals made Blaine think about that night his parents kicked him out, and it hurt like hell. All night long, he just needed people to attend to him, but the stupid nurses and doctors in pediatrics kept treating him like a kid. It had annoyed the heck out of him, because in that moment, after being beaten and thrown out of his house by his father for being gay, he didn't feel very much like the 14-year-old kid he was; he felt so much older. Carole talking about being a pediatric nurse just brought back all those memories he worked hard to keep pushed away.

Kurt seemed to catch on and opened his mouth to change the subject, but Finn cut him off. "Are you okay, dude? You look kinda pale."

Carole, true to her nurse training, sprang into action and came around the table to pat Blaine on the back. "Oh, I forgot to ask Kurt if you had any food allergies! I hope you're not allergic to anything I made." She started feeling his forehead, his cheeks, his neck.

"No, no, it's fine." Between Kurt next to him and Carole above him, Blaine suddenly felt very claustrophobic.

Burt must have sensed this because he stood up and lightly grabbed his wife's arm, tugging her back to her chair. "Let the boy breathe, Carole. He said it's not the food."

Kurt turned and brought his hands to Blaine's face, forcing him to look Kurt in the eye. "Blaine, sweetie, you're okay. Look at me. Look at my face. I'm right here. You're okay." Kurt moved one hand down to Blaine's chest and felt how fast and hard his heart was beating. "You're fine, Blaine. Feel my hand on your heart, calm down. I'm right here."

Blaine hated when this happened. The room would feel small and he would feel big, like in _Alice in Wonderland_. He felt like he was growing and the house was shrinking, and he started feeling anxious. It made him feel like he had to gasp for air because there wasn't enough room for both his body and the oxygen it required. His heart was beating in his throat and his pulse was resonating in his ears.

But with Kurt's voice cutting through everything, he felt safer. He concentrated on the warmth he felt on his chest and realized it was Kurt's hand over his heart, just like he was saying. He focused on the other hand he felt on his face, and realized it was trying to direct his attention to whatever was in his line of sight. So he looked, actually looked instead of just blank staring, and found Kurt's eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes, with all the swirls and flecks of color swimming around. Blaine was holding onto those eyes like a lifeline, trying to keep his mind on them instead of on the night he had suddenly found himself transported back to.

And just like that, he was back. He tried to think back to the last time he'd had a panic attack had been, but then that just lead him to the memory that it was because of Trevor, and that wasn't exactly the right path for his brain to be travelling down right now. So he shook his head and closed his eyes tight, dispelling the thoughts, then opened them again and took in the worried expression on Kurt's face. Which, of course, lead him to look around and take in the worried and awkward expressions on everyone else's faces.

In that moment, Blaine wanted to die of embarrassment.

"Oh, God," he groaned, recoiling from Kurt and placing his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Jesus, you guys probably think I'm crazy now."

Surprisingly, it was Finn's voice Blaine heard first. "Kurt doesn't believe in God, or Jesus, or whatever."

Well, that was unexpected. Not so much Kurt's beliefs, or lack thereof, but the fact that Finn just threw it out there.

"What?" Blaine asked, lifting his head up.

Kurt was giving him a sharp look, like he was trying to melt Finn into a puddle right where he sat. "Finn, don't you have a _Halo_ date with Puck or something?"

"Just 'cause it's a date when you hang out with a dude doesn't mean it's a date when I hang out with a dude."

"He says 'dude,' a lot," Blaine said, because it was the only thing he could contribute to the conversation.

Kurt relaxed a little and gave Blaine a small smile. "Yeah, he does. He has a very limited vocabulary."

"Hey!"

"Be nice, Kurt," Burt said, parroting back Kurt's words from earlier.

Carole stood and started picking up the dishes from the table. "Finn, honey, why don't you help me with the dishes?"

Finn groaned but didn't say anything. Blaine figured he knew better than to argue with his mother, since they'd probably gone through this before and he'd lost every time. So Carole and Finn grabbed the dishes from the table and headed off into the kitchen, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone with who Blaine decided was the single most intimidating man he'd ever met, aside from the men in his family.

"You okay, kid?" Burt asked, looking at Blaine. It was disconcerting to Blaine to see how much this man genuinely seemed to care, despite how they'd only known each other for an hour or so. "You kinda freaked out for a minute there."

Blaine nodded but didn't trust himself to say anything. He really didn't like talking about his family or that night or what had happened as a result of it, Kurt being the only exception. When Burt didn't seem like he'd take his silence for an answer, Blaine offered, "I'm fine."

Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine's and laced their fingers together, giving it a light squeeze. "Don't be embarrassed," Kurt whispered, leaning towards Blaine to gain some semblance of privacy from his father. "I used to have panic attacks a lot after my mom died, and after Karofsky. He just wants to make sure you're okay now."

"I'm fine," Blaine repeated.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Burt asked, still looking at him strangely. Blaine just shook his head and turned his gaze away from the prying faces around him. He heard Burt sigh and say, "Kurt, why don't you give Blaine and me a minute alone?"

Kurt sounded extremely unsure and unwilling to leave Blaine alone. "Dad—"

"I just want to talk to him. He can meet you up in your room as soon as I'm done.

Kurt, just like Finn, seemed to know that he wouldn't win the argument with his parent, so he sighed and stood up. Before leaving, though, he reached down a hand to run through Blaine's ungelled hair, smiling down at him. "I'll be right upstairs, okay?"

Blaine figured he didn't really have any other option, so he just nodded. His boyfriend leaned down and kissed him before retreating upstairs.

Instead of turning his attention to Burt, which he knew was the polite thing to do, he just stared after where Kurt had left, hoping if he stared hard enough he could make him reappear. It didn't work.

"It was something Carole said, wasn't it?" Burt asked gently. "Something she said about being a nurse. You don't like hospitals, do ya, kid?"

"No," Blaine sighed, deciding it'd be better if he just answered the questions so he could go find Kurt quicker. "No, I don't."

"You want to tell me about it?"

He didn't want to be rude, but to be honest, the answer to that question was the same as the previous one. "With all due respect, Mr. Hummel, no. Not really. It's a long story, and one that you probably won't like."

Burt had that narrow-eyed, scrutinizing look again that made Blaine squirm in his seat. He felt like Kurt's dad had the ability to see right through him and know exactly what he was thinking, which explained where Kurt got it from. Finally, after an agonizingly long minute, Burt sighed and took his baseball cap off, rubbing at his bald scalp.

"You care about my son," Burt stated.

It wasn't a question, but at least this Blaine could answer positively. "Yes."

"A lot."

"Very much so, sir."

Burt nodded, accepting the information. "Alright, then I'm gonna tell you somethin', Blaine. And I don't want you to interrupt me. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now Kurt, he…he's been through some stuff. He's been through a lot of hard stuff in his life that no parent wants to see their child go through. He's been unhappy for a long time, and we all adapted to that in this house, just doing our best to keep him in as good a mood as we could. Then, he comes home from his first day of college classes and all he talks about is this dreamy boy he met at school." Blaine blushed and secretly found some satisfaction in knowing that he wasn't alone in his gushing to Laurel. "Not exactly what I expected to hear that evening, but it wasn't unwelcome either. It was the first time I'd seen him smile, a _real, _honest-to-God smile, in a while. So I decided whoever this kid was that my own wouldn't shut up about it, he's obviously worth keeping.

"He probably didn't tell you this, and he might kill me for doing so, but you were the only thing he talked about every day he came home. The week after he met you, he comes home and tells me that he asked you out. I hope that by now you know Kurt well enough to know that that was completely out of character for him, so I knew you were special. Then he comes home after your first date and tells me that he told you about Elizabeth, and took you to their spot. Needless to say, that through me for a loop. Kurt hasn't talked about his mom with anyone but me since she passed. And I know that when he came to your house, he told you about that Karofsky kid. So you know as well as I do that Kurt hasn't had it easy."

For a second, Blaine wondered what the point of him saying all of this was, but he kept listening regardless, knowing the man had a point to make.

"Now that I've met you, it's clear to me that you haven't had it easy either." Oh. "Don't worry, Kurt won't tell me the stuff you tell him, just stuff he tells you. But from what he does tell me, and from your reaction to Carole talking about hospitals, I can take a few guesses." _You'd be wrong on all of them. _"He says you live with your cousin?"

Realizing that he was actually required to speak again, he stuttered out a shaky, "Y-Yes, sir."

"He hasn't told me the details, but an out gay teen living with his older cousin speaks for itself. I'm not trying to bait you; you don't have to tell me anything, kid. I probably scare the shit outta you 'cause I'm your boyfriend's dad." Blaine couldn't help it, he laughed at that. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens with you and Kurt, you have a place here, alright? I know you'll only be here for about another month or so, but when you come back for holidays and stuff, if you need somewhere to go, you can come here. Not implying that your older cousin isn't good enough, but I know sometimes it helps to have a man around."

Blaine nodded shakily, unable to speak. He suddenly felt like a little kid who'd just had his diary read out loud right back at him, and it hurt more than he thought it would. But if felt nice, to have his boyfriend's dad do something his own father never could: accept him.

"Alright. Now I've said my piece. You can go up to Kurt's room if you want. When Finn has his girlfriend Rachel over, we generally have an open-door policy, but seeing as how you look like you need some privacy, tell Kurt he can bend the rules a little tonight."

"Thank you, sir," Blaine said. "I really appreciate it."

In reality Blaine wanted to just stand there and thank his boyfriend's father for the next ten minutes, he was so grateful. But he knew that wasn't a reality, and if he had it his way he'd have years and years to come to thank Burt. So for now, he settled for just heading upstairs to his boyfriend's room to let him know how lucky he was to have a father.

…

Never one to be impolite, Blaine knocked on Kurt's door before pushing it open, peering in to see Kurt lounging back on his bed, flipping through what appeared to be a photo album.

Kurt looked up at him and smiled sadly. "Hey, you. I hope my dad didn't traumatize you too irreparably."

Blaine shrugged. "Not at all, actually. Your dad is…really great."

Without another word, Kurt patted the spot on the bed beside him. Blaine got the message and climbed onto the mattress, sliding next to Kurt and curling into his side. Kurt lifted his right arm up so Blaine could nestle in there, then laid it back down around his boyfriend's shoulders and lightly scratched his fingers up and down Blaine's right arm.

They both just stared down at the pictures on the page, unspeaking. Blaine liked the silence; it was comforting for a second. It felt safe, familiar, and not as hectic as downstairs with Burt and Carole and Finn and Kurt always talking over each other. Blaine studied the pictures, there were 4 of them, two on each side. The two on the left both were Kurt posing in two different ways in what appeared to be a Halloween costume; he looked about 4 years old. Blaine couldn't help it, he laughed; his boyfriend had dressed as the Little Mermaid for Halloween one year. He couldn't imagine what would have happened if that had been him and his own father. The two on the right featured Kurt again, the same age, a much younger Burt, and a beautiful young woman who Blaine assumed to be Kurt's mother, Elizabeth.

"You were adorable," Blaine said, pointing to one of Kurt as Ariel. "I'm loving this costume. How did your dad feel about it?"

Kurt smiled. "He wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea, but my mom convinced him that it was Halloween and every girl and boy deserved to dress up as whoever they wanted."

Blaine nodded, still looking down at the pictures. He couldn't take his eyes off Kurt's mom. She had the same bright blue eyes that Kurt did, and that alone would make the woman breathtaking, but everything about her was just beautiful. Blaine used to think Laurel was gorgeous, but she had nothing on Elizabeth.

"Your mother was…" he struggled to find an adjective to do her justice.

"Stunning, I know," Kurt said. "My dad always says I remind him of her. It's the highest compliment anyone's ever given to me."

"I can see why."

They went quiet again, and Kurt flipped the page, more pictures of him growing up and his parents. "I like to look at this photo album sometimes, when I'm feeling especially nostalgic." He brought the book up to his face and smelled, then pulled it back and smiled. "I sprayed it with the last bottle of her perfume that I stole from Dad's bathroom. It smells like her."

Honestly, Blaine had no idea how to reply to that, but he thought that maybe Kurt didn't need him to. He just needed him to listen. So that's what he did. They flipped through pages and pages of Kurt through the years, his mother or father or both always in the picture looking so proud of everything he did. Then, they got to a certain age, and the pictures stopped including Elizabeth. There were only a few without her before the album's pages turned empty.

Kurt gingerly closed the book and set it aside on his table next to his lamp. Blaine knew what was coming next, so he decided to put it off a little while longer.

"Look, I know you have questions, but can I ask a few first? Then I promise I'll answer anything you ask me."

Kurt looked skeptical, but nodded. "Alright. What is it?"

Blaine figured if Finn didn't take any time beating around the bush, why should he? So he just blurted out, "You don't believe in God?"

"No," Kurt bit out. Blaine immediately knew this was a sore spot for him. "I was going to tell you when I slept over, but I guess I just got distracted by other things. I just feel like…If there was a God, why would he take my mother away, or let me be sexually assaulted, or send all of his followers after me telling me how evil I am for the way he made me in the first place? So, no. I don't."

Blaine nodded. Frankly, Kurt's beliefs were Kurt's beliefs and he didn't really mind one way or another, so he started to continue on to the next question. "Okay. So, you said you used to get panic attacks—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second," Kurt said, raising his hand to signal Blaine to stop talking. "You're not going to try to convert me, or tell me I'm going to double rot in hell for not believing in God, or say anything?"

Blaine shrugged in Kurt's arms, lifting his face up to stare at him. "No. I mean, I'm not exactly the most religious person on earth. I think there's a higher being out there somewhere, something that created us and is controlling the universe. But I don't know if I exactly buy everything the churches are selling. If you don't believe in God, that's your prerogative."

Kurt's face broke into a relieved smile and he leaned his head down to capture Blaine's lips with his. He pulled away a little and whispered against his lips, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for accepting you for who you are, Kurt. That comes with the territory of being your boyfriend."

They smiled goofily at each other again before Blaine lowered his head back down onto Kurt's shoulder and chest and nuzzled his face against his boyfriend's body.

"Anyway," Blaine said, "so you said you used to have panic attacks too, after your mom and Karofsky. Is that how you knew how to…calm me down?"

He felt Kurt nod above him. "Yeah. They weren't as bad with my mom, because I was younger, but with the whole Karofsky thing, I was older and it was a lot worse. My dad didn't know how to handle it, but then in stepped Carole, a registered nurse, and she knows exactly how to handle emergencies. So my dad learned by example from her, and I learned because I know what works for me. Personally, I need to have something rooting me to the present, bringing my mind back to where I am and not where it's trying to take me back. A touch, or the sound of a voice, or a face to concentrate on. So I figured I'd do all three for you and see if any of them worked."

Blaine craned his neck to kiss Kurt's jaw. "They all did. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Is it my turn to ask you my questions now?"

Blaine didn't want to say yes. He so badly wanted to just refuse and close up, throw up all the walls he so often kept up and only answer surface questions. But here, in Kurt's arms, he felt safe. He'd never been able to come down so quickly from a panic attack before. It was Kurt, and the gentle touches and the soft reassurances and the understanding eyes that brought him back to the reality, the beautiful, amazing reality that was Kurt. For the first time in a very long time, he felt really truly safe. Like, as long as he had Kurt, nothing could touch him. Not his parents, and not Trevor.

Blaine knew, in that moment, that he was finally ready to tell Kurt the Trevor Incident.

"Yes," he finally said. "Yes, it's your turn to ask questions."

"Your panic attack," Kurt started. "What brought that on?"

"Carole talking about hospitals. The night my dad beat me up and kicked me out of the house, when we finally got around to going to the hospital, we were in the pediatric ward. I was 14, I had just come out to my parents and the whole reason I was there was because of them; I didn't feel like a kid, but all of the nurses and doctors there treated me like one. They talked to me in those condescending tones and said stupid little things and offered me a stuffed animal to calm me down. It just made me even angrier. So when Carole was talking about how she's a pediatric nurse, it just brought that night back to me in my mind and I just…freaked."

Kurt sighed and started scratching Blaine's scalp. "I'm sorry. I should have known, I should have warned her—"

"Don't. Please don't apologize to me right now. It's not your fault, Kurt. You can't protect me from everything, just like I can't protect you from Finn." Kurt laughed at that, but suddenly Blaine shot up, remembering. "Oh, God, I didn't even think to ask you how you're feeling. You had a bump on your head earlier, and your back was—"

"I'm fine, Blaine," Kurt cut him off, sitting up to wrap his arms around his waist and bring him back down. "With Finn in the house, you get used to random injuries like that. The bump on my head is flat again and my back doesn't hurt at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now lie back down with me."

Blaine smirked at the commanding tone Kurt suddenly took on and did as he was told. "Yes, sir. I wouldn't want to argue with you."

"You most certainly wouldn't," Kurt shot back, smiling with a gleam in his eye.

Blaine knew that Kurt was done with his questioning. In that moment, all he really cared about was Blaine's panic attack, and now that he had that answer, everything was fine in Kurt's mind. But that wasn't enough for Blaine. He was finally ready to talk about Trevor, and the fact that Kurt didn't even mention it when he knew that he had the opportunity to just solidified for Blaine that this was what he wanted to do.

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"I want to talk to you about Trevor."

Kurt sat up so fast that Blaine flopped down on the pillows before even knowing what had happened. "What?" he choked, staring back at Blaine like he'd grown a second head.

"I said I want to talk to you about Trevor."

"Are—Are you sure? You don't have to, Blaine, you know that. We agreed that when you're ready—"

"I'm ready, Kurt. You make me feel safe. When I was flipping my shit, you were the only one who was able to talk to me and get me to come back to myself; back to you. If I can tell you about my parents and talk comfortably with you about them, then I can tell you about Trevor."

Kurt's eyes were wide, but he nodded, breathing a little ragged. "Okay."

He crawled back up to the head of the bed and laid his chin on Blaine's stomach, staring up at him as he began speaking.

"It all started freshman year…"

**Okay, so I may have accidentally lied when I said hilarity would ensue this chapter, and it was only light-hearted and humorous for about five seconds before it turned into straight angst. I definitely didn't plan any of what happened in this chapter to happen, so I was as thrown off as you guys.**

**Up next: THE TREVOR INCIDENT, PART ONE**

**Get ready. Shit's about to go down. **


	12. The Trevor Incident: Part One

**Ahhhh! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long guys! School started up for me again so I had to come back and I'm a theatre major so I had a lot going on with all these auditions and all my clubs and my sorority starting up again and just AHHH! **

**Also, I changed my Tumblr URL. So you can now find me at donthatecommiserate(.)tumblr(.)com just so you guys know. :)**

**Anyway, I won't go on and on like I normally do because you guys have already waited forever for this. So here is The Trevor Incident, Part One!**

_September 29, 2008_

This was it. Blaine's first day back at school since coming out to his parents last week.

Last week. Had it really only been 6 days? It felt like it had been a lifetime. Between all of the mess at the hospital, and sleeping on Laurel's couch every night, and having lawyers and policemen and CPS workers coming in and out of her tiny apartment every 5 seconds, time just seemed all messed up now. There weren't set times for things like usual; he didn't have his regular three meals per day at morning, noon, and evening, he didn't wake up at a nice 8am or 9am, then go to bed at a reasonable 10pm or 11pm. Instead, he just stayed on the couch, alternating between sleep and just mindlessly watching the television screen as faces he didn't recognize played people that didn't exist. He wondered briefly how it felt to be an actor; to escape from your own reality and your own life, and slip into the skin of another person entirely. It must feel nice.

He woke up that morning to Laurel lightly nudging his shoulder at 7am.

"Blaine, come on, you gotta wake up. I know it's hard, but you're going to miss too much if you don't go back to school now. Just get up and get showered and dressed and we'll go from there, okay? One step at a time."

Blearily, Blaine nodded and rubbed at his eyes. He started to lift his arms up to stretch as he sat up, then winced, remembering that _oh, yeah, my body is broken_. "Fuck, that hurt."

Laurel flinched at the sound of her baby cousin using such strong language, but brushed it off. Blaine figured that she knew he'd been to hell and back and could use a little slack. "Sorry, I'll get your pain meds; I'll be right back."

Slowly, Blaine pushed himself to an upright position and awaited the arrival of his pain pills. He wasn't too excited about returning to school with 2 of his ribs on his right side broken and 6 on his left. Luckily for him, Dalton had a zero-tolerance policy, so it wasn't like he had to deal with anyone aggravating his injuries. It was just embarrassing. What would he say when people asked about what happened? Because, surely, if he could barely move his arms without wincing, they would notice at school when he was walking slowly to his classes, late everywhere, gently lowering himself into the desks instead of plopping down like teenage boys tend to do.

His cousin swept back into the room and gave him his medicine, which he gladly accepted and swallowed quickly, chasing it down with the proffered glass of water. He showered slowly, careful of his ribs, and wrapped the gauze and bandages back around him once out. It took some effort on his part, but he didn't want to ask Laurel to help him because he had to learn how to do this on his own. His parents were gone now. He'd have to just get used to doing things by his self.

Laurel's apartment was nice. It wasn't big by any means, in fact it was pretty tiny, but it was alright if one was intending to just live by themselves. Blaine kind of ruined that for his cousin, or rather, his parents did. But he decided not to dwell on that. Instead, he took the two steps from the bathroom to the living room archway and found his cousin and one of the many social workers who'd been coming in and out sitting on the couch facing away from him, discussing something in hushed tones.

"I just don't know what to do about him, Mrs. Trent. He's barely moved from the couch ever since it happened. I know that could be from the pain in his ribs, but I think it has more to do with his emotional state. He's so depressed, and I know it's within good reason, but that's my baby cousin. He's suffering, and I don't know what I can do to help."

"Right now, all you can do is be there for him. He needs to know that he's not alone right now." That was a lie, but Blaine didn't call her on it because he didn't want them to know he was there just yet. "Blaine is going through the toughest thing a kid his age can go through." _I'm not a kid, damnit._ "He's just lost his parents. And it's even worse than if they'd have died, because this was their choice. His own parents have abandoned him, and now he feels worthless; he feels like if his own parents can't even love him, who can?" Hearing his own thoughts voiced by someone else kind of felt like a knife going through his heart, and he had to shut his eyes tight and lean against the doorframe to keep from falling apart. "You just have to show him how untrue that is. Show him that no matter what, he will always have you to love him.

"This is not going to be easy, and if you're serious about becoming his legal guardian, we can take the steps to get there, but you just need to keep in mind that he's going to be very difficult to handle for a while. He'll have mood swings all over the place, lashing out at you one second and sobbing into your arms the next. You have to be prepared to handle that. I don't want to put him on any sort of anti-depressant because I don't want to mess with the medication he's already taking for the pain from his broken ribs, but he'll be a wild card for a while. Taking him in and becoming his sole guardian is a big responsibility and you have to be one-hundred percent sure you're ready for it; it's a big decision."

While listening to the social worker, Mrs. Trent, speak Blaine was preparing himself. He was steeling himself for when Laurel realized how much of a burden he was, and how much she didn't need him in her life. He was ready for her to just toss him aside and leave him to be someone else's problem, just like his parents had done.

What he wasn't prepared for was the fact that without hesitating in the slightest, Laurel immediately said, "Yes. I'm ready. Just give me the papers and I'll sign."

"Really?"

When the two heads on the couch turned to face him, Blaine realized that that wasn't the social worker's voice, that was his own. Well, it was too late now. He might as well keep going.

"You really want to do that for me, Laurel?"

At Laurel's softening eyes, Blaine almost cried. He could see it written all over her face, how much she cared for him and wanted to help him. He could also see how heartbroken she was, he guessed at how heartbroken he must look. He'd heard the police and CPS people throwing around ideas about where he could go, mentioning the foster care system since no one else in his family wanted any more to do with him than his own parents did. But hearing that Laurel was willing to take care of him made him want to fall apart and cry out of happiness and sadness at the same time.

"Of course I do, Blaine," she said, getting up from the couch and wrapping him in a hug. "I love you. Your parents are awful excuses for human beings. They don't deserve you; you're too good for them. And you don't deserve them; they're not good enough for you. You deserve someone who is going to love you and hold you and do everything in their power to make you happy, Blaine." She pulled him away and held him at arms' length, staring into his eyes. "If that's what you want."

Blaine had absolutely no words, so he just fell back into her arms, loving that despite his injuries, he felt completely comfortable and safe there.

Laurel was his new home.

…

_October 27, 2008_

Blaine hated Mondays. They were always shit, in his book. He knew Laurel hated it when he cussed, but it was true. Mondays were absolute shit. It was your awful wake-up call that weekends only last so long and then you have to go back to the real world. And you never had enough sleep, because you get used to staying up late and waking up late on weekends, that you stay up late Sunday night, but then have to turn around and wake up early for school.

Mondays were just shit.

So as Blaine was strolling lazily down the halls of Dalton Academy, heading to the last class of the day, he was already in a bad mood. Add to that fact that he had no friends, he was about to go to chemistry (his least favourite class), and everyone around him was already buzzing about their Halloween plans for this Friday, and Blaine was just about ready to punch someone in the face.

_That's why Laurel signed me up for boxing_, he thought to himself. His ribs were healing up nicely, and while the other guys were instructed to go easy on him, Laurel felt that it was important Blaine had somewhere he could go to let out everything he was feeling. Mrs. Trent, the social worker, was right; Blaine was having major anger issues, and then would turn around and find himself bawling in the shower for no apparent reason. It was all so strange to him, and he didn't quite know what to do with himself, hence the boxing. The doctor even OK-ed it, so it was legit.

Blaine was so wrapped up in himself, that he didn't even notice the boy who'd stopped in front of him to tie his shoes.

Really, the whole thing was Blaine's fault. He hadn't been watching where he was going. They were both on the floor groaning in pain because he hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings. But to be honest, he wasn't in a mood to take responsibility for his actions at the moment.

"Shit, if you need someone to teach you how to tie your shoes, why don't you just go home to mommy and get the fuck out of the middle of the hallway."

The boy stared at him open-mouthed in shock before straightening up and giving him his best go at a glare. It wasn't very terrifying, but Blaine was struck speechless none the less because, _hello_, this boy he'd just verbally abused was _hot._

"Geez, _sorry_. What crawled up your butt and died?" the kid said. And honestly, that low voice had Blaine hooked already.

But right now, they were yelling at each other, so Blaine was going to focus on that.

"Why don't you stay out of my way and you won't have to find out, alright?" Blaine grunted, standing up and beginning to walk away.

He was sure that would be that when the kid called out to him, "The hallway is a public area, genius." Blaine stopped in his tracks, not exactly caring but kind of intrigued all the same. So, when the boy walked right back up to him and stood directly in front of him, staring down into Blaine's eyes, he decided this kid was definitely worth looking into. "I'll stand right here if I want to. What are you gonna do about it?"

The kid was testing him, that much he knew. And if he was going to suddenly get a rep for being a badass, which he knew was inevitable seeing how the boys at Dalton were worse gossipers than any girls he'd ever known, he figured he might as well make this a good story to spread. So, instead of doing anything violent like punching or kicking or slapping like the kid was probably expecting, Blaine decided to do something radically different than anything he would have done if he hadn't been so mentally unstable.

He kissed him.

It wasn't anything passionate or intense or strong; it was a small press of lips, just enough to get his point across and nothing more. He stepped back and smirked at the boy's awestruck face.

Deciding that he'd accomplished his mission, Blaine sidestepped the boy and headed on down the hallway to chemistry, which he was now late for—although, he wasn't complaining, that was less time he'd have to be in that awful class.

"Hey, wait a minute!" the kid called out.

Blaine felt a hand clap on his shoulder and, on instinct from sparring in boxing, he flipped his attacker over his shoulder and onto the ground, before realizing that _duh_, the person calling out to you would obviously be the person touching your shoulder. Blaine immediately felt remorseful as he saw the boy's horrified and pained face.

"What was that?" the boy gasped out from the floor.

Blaine held his hand out to help him up. "Sorry, boxing."

It was strange, how they had gone from hostile to sexual to apologetic and open all in the span of 5 minutes. They'd barely known each other and already their friendship was on an emotional roller coaster.

The boy eyed his hand warily before helping himself up, leaving Blaine to drop his hand. And really, Blaine couldn't blame him. He'd just flipped him over onto his back on the floor. That had to hurt. In fact, he knew it hurt, as someone had done that to him just one week prior. He wouldn't really trust the guy who did that to him either, if they hadn't been in a safe environment.

"You take boxing?"

Blaine shrugged. "Needed somewhere to put all my excess energy. And channel my rage."

"Anger issues? I don't usually go for guys with a temper problem, but I guess we can give it a go."

"I'm sorry?"

Surely, this kid was not insinuating what Blaine thought he was. The kiss was nothing, an intimidation method. It wasn't meant to actually _mean _something. Blaine didn't even think this kid was gay. And, at this point with his parents and everything, it wasn't exactly like Blaine was in the closet. But no one in school even knew his name. His parents had forced him to go here, and Laurel had hurried to figure out the best way for him to stay there, which was still being worked out. Regardless, he was a nothing; invisible. So, despite the fact that he was out in his life, he wasn't really out at school for the fact that no one really _knew him _at school.

"I'm Trevor Donahue," the boy, Trevor, said. He held out the hand that wasn't holding his back in pain. When Blaine didn't move to shake it, Trevor rolled his eyes. "Come on. You just verbally attacked me then kissed me then physically attacked me. The least you can do is shake my hand back and introduce yourself."

Blaine blinked but took the hand nonetheless. "Blaine Anderson."

Trevor smiled, and Blaine thought how nice he looked when he wasn't frowning or gawking. His smile lit up the deep brown in his eyes to a warmer shade of brown that went well with his orange-red hair. "Cool. So let's pretend like this right now is the first time we've come in contact and forget everything that happened before names. Because you're really cute and I'd like to take you on a date this Friday."

"But it's Halloween," Blaine said before he could stop himself.

Trevor rolled his eyes again. "I know that. That's why you're coming to my Halloween party. You're going to be my date."

"You just met me."

Trevor laughed and threw his arm around Blaine's shoulders, starting to walk them down the hallway in the opposite direction of Blaine's class. "You sure do like stating the obvious, don't you?"

"I'm a freshman. Nobody knows me here. I don't get invited to parties."

Trevor's eyes softened as he looked down at Blaine. "Now you do. And now that I have you on my arm, everyone will know you."

Blaine didn't really know what to say to that, so he just blurted, "My class is the other way."

"That's fine. You're late already anyway. Let's go get coffee. You like coffee, Blaine Anderson?"

Blaine shrugged under Trevor's arm. "Not really. I guess I haven't really had it that much, to be honest."

Trevor made this put out sound, like he couldn't believe Blaine had never had coffee, and moaned, like it was the best thing in the world and Blaine was obviously missing out. "You're going to love it. Let me order for you. I'll get you a medium drip. Trust me; it's heaven in a cup."

…

_October 31, 2008_

Tonight was the night. His big date with Trevor.

After Blaine's initial, and bizarre, meeting with Trevor, they'd gone out and had their coffee—Trevor was right about the medium drip (but then again, Blaine was beginning to find out, Trevor was right about everything)—and then Trevor took him home instead of Laurel having to pick him up. Laurel was extremely suspicious of this new boy that had suddenly taken an interest in her 14-year-old baby cousin, but said nothing. She did warn him, however, that she was watching him. Especially since she didn't get an age for the kid, but he looked older, and he drove, so he was obviously at least 16 years old. She told Blaine this, but he shrugged it off.

Couldn't she just be happy for him? He was finally making friends. After everything that had happened with his parents, he was moving on with his life. He hadn't had a panic attack at all this week, and that was _huge. _He was still skeptical of Trevor himself, of course, because he barely knew anything about the kid. But what he did know was that Trevor managed to seek him out in the mornings before school, and find him in between classes and walk him to all of his classes, and invite him to eat lunch with Trevor and his friends, and took him home after school instead of him having to wait for Laurel to pick him up—if she got the government teacher position she'd been gunning for there, she wouldn't be starting until the following semester. Trevor was treating him really well, and they weren't even an official couple yet. This was the happiest Blaine had been in a long time and he just really wanted Laurel to share that with him.

So, when Trevor swung by to pick him up an hour before the party was about to start, Laurel refrained from giving him too big of a speech. She just kissed him on the cheek and let him go to meet Trevor out at the car. As Trevor pulled out of the parking lot of their apartment complex, Laurel waved down at them from the window, and Blaine melted in a puddle of embarrassment.

He expressed this sentiment to Trevor, who laughed at him. "Don't be embarrassed. She's just looking out for you. It's sweet."

"It's mortifying," Blaine corrected. "She doesn't need to look out for me. Right?" He turned to look at Trevor, searching for confirmation, and getting it in a small smile from the driver.

"Right. I promise, you're going to have fun tonight, Blaine. You've already met a lot of my friends at lunch. Wes and David seem to have taken a liking to you. They're pretty cool. They're a year below me, but still good guys."

"What grade are you in, anyway? Laurel's been grilling me to find out."

Trevor got a gleam in his eye and winked at Blaine before saying, "I'm a junior, actually. I guess I just like younger guys."

Blaine felt his face heat up and looked away. Honestly, when he kissed Trevor in the hallway, he had no idea it would turn out like this. "I'm not that much younger. I turn 15 in December."

Trevor laughed out loud and patted Blaine's thigh, then let his hand stay there. "Oh, gosh. I really am robbing the cradle, aren't I? It's okay, you're cute, and I don't really care."

"Wait, how old are you?"

"I'm 17, but newly. I just had my birthday last month. September 23."

Blaine shuddered involuntarily. That date had taken on a horrible significance for him. Trevor seemed to notice the shift in his mood, or felt his shake, because he looked over worriedly. "What?"

"Nothing," Blaine mumbled. He'd rather just forget about it so he could focus on the first party of his high school career. He quickly changed the subject. "So, how many people are going to be there tonight?"

"Oh, just a few friends. It won't be like a big thing; don't worry." Trevor flashed a smile at him. "And I'll keep you by my side all night."

"I'm holding you to that," Blaine said, feeling bold.

Trevor had that effect on him.

…

The party was not "just a few friends," like Trevor had said. It was, in fact, "a big thing," like Trevor had denied. Blaine estimated there to be about 100 people spread all across Trevor's giant mansion. Yet another thing Trevor had neglected to tell Blaine; he lived in a freaking mansion, bigger even than the one his own parents owned. There was a giant pool and adjoining hot-tub out back with a big waterfall and palm trees everywhere, the whole works. It was too much, but Blaine tried not to show how small he felt.

This seemed like a test, to see how he would fit in not only with Trevor's friends, but in the social climate of Dalton Academy. Thus far, he hadn't met anyone, and now here he was, surrounded by a bunch of Daltonites. He needed to start being more open and making friends. It might help him forget about everything going on at home, at least according to the therapist Laurel had deemed necessary for him to go to.

The guys all had dumb costumes that were nowhere near original or cute, in Blaine opinion. Except for Trevor, who had bought matching costumes for him and Blaine; together, they made up the two opposing viewpoints that sit on your shoulders as your conscience. Trevor was the bad one, Blaine as the good one, of course. After their initial altercation in the hall, Blaine quickly fell back into his shy mode, and Trevor decided he was a total goody-two-shoes. Blaine decided that tonight was going to be the night he would break that image.

He started that mission by accepting the glass of punch Trevor was holding out to him.

"I'm sorry it got so big," Trevor said to him for the millionth time, having to raise his voice to be heard over the music. "I only told a few people. I guess word got out. You know how it goes."

"Yeah, of course. It's fine. Really."

People kept coming up to Trevor and whisking him away, and since he was the host he didn't want to be rude, which also meant that Trevor did not keep Blaine at his side, as promised. Blaine would have followed him, but he didn't want to look like the lost puppy dog that Trevor couldn't get away from, so instead he lingered by the food table, the epitome of a cliché party wallflower reject.

"What are you doing all by yourself?" A voice called to him. He glanced to his right to see that it had been David, dressed as a pirate.

"Where's Trevor?" He whipped his head around to see Wes on his left side, dressed as a parrot.

He wondered briefly if he'd ever see those two separated, then decided, no. Probably not. "Around. He's got a lot of friends. Lots of people to see. You know."

"Right," Wes said, looking at him strangely.

"Look," David started, laying a hand on his shoulder. "we know how Trevor can be. We've known him for a while. This party, it's a test for him to see if you're worth his time."

"Sad, but true," Wes interjected.

"And we like you. You seem nice. So we don't want you to get hurt."

"Hence us telling you this."

"So we're going to give you a bit of advice. Show him that you're who he wants to be with."

Blaine's brows furrowed. "I'm sorry?"

"We've seen him bring lots of guys in and out of here; he doesn't stick with one for long. But he really seems to actually like you."

"Which is a good sign for you, since you seem to really like him."

"So go mingle. Introduce yourself to new people and talk to his friends. Then, go dance."

"Dance?" Blaine squeaked.

All of this new information about Trevor was starting to make his head swim. He'd figured the boy was experienced, and he could tell that he was popular, but he didn't really think that he was a…womanizer…or…manizer…not quite the same ring to it, Blaine thought absently. He'd have to come up for a better name for it later.

"Yes," Wes affirmed. "Dance. Look for a guy you think is cute and doesn't have a girl draped all over him, and dance. That's how you tell the gay Daltonites from the straight ones. Straight Daltonites are so girl deprived that anytime there's a vagina in the vicinity, they'll attach themselves, hoping to get lucky."

Blaine gulped.

David, instead of Wes, continued. "The gay ones, like you, don't even notice there are girls around. And it's a costume party. Where all the girls are dressed like whores."

"Speaking of, now that we've told you the secret to winning Trevor's dick—I mean heart, we're going to go find scantily clad ladies to drape ourselves all over in hopes of getting lucky."

"Good idea, Wesley. See ya, Blaine!"

"Bye, Blaine!"

Blaine felt like he had whiplash from looking back and forth between the boys when they kept finishing the other's thoughts and talking to him at once, but now that he had this information, he knew what he needed to do. Wes and David were right, he couldn't just stand here all night. And if they were serious about this being Trevor's way of testing him, Blaine was a little pissed off, but determined. He was going to ace this damn test and prove himself worthy of affection.

And that is how Blaine found himself drunk and gyrating on the dance floor with one Michael InsertLastNameHere. Michael was a freshman who managed to get to this party because his older brother, Ian, was friends with Trevor. The second Blaine introduced himself, Michael looked so happy to find another clueless freshman he looked like he was about to piss himself. Inwardly, Blaine was just as excited, but he didn't want to seem desperate, so he toned it down. He leaned close in to Michael's ear and asked him to dance. Michael shivered beneath him and nodded wordlessly. Blaine counted that as an accomplishment and thought he might be better at this sexy thing than he'd originally thought.

The second he started dancing with Michael, he decided that he _knew _he was better at this sexy thing than he'd originally thought, because as he glanced over to where he knew Trevor was talking with who Michael informed him was Ian, Trevor was just staring at him, eyes raking up and down his body. Blaine maintained eye contact for a split second before spinning around in Michael's arms and grinding his back against the boy's front. He lifted his arms to bring his hands to the back of Michael's head and laid his head back on his new friend's shoulder, closing his eyes and just moving with the beat of the song.

He was glad that dancing with another boy so sexually wasn't a problem for anyone at the party. In fact, they weren't even the only two boys doing so. Blaine was suddenly grateful that his parents had inadvertently put him into a school that so encouraged him to be himself.

He barely had time to appreciate this fact before he felt different arms wrap around his waist from the front, bringing him into another body. He opened his eyes to see Trevor gazing down at him, pupils bigger than Blaine had ever seen them.

"Michael, right?" Trevor shouted over the music without taking his eyes off of Blaine.

Michael, who was now just standing there awkwardly, nodded. "Yeah."

"Thanks for coming to my party, bro. Think you could go find another dance partner? This one's mine."

Blaine didn't even hear Michael say anything, he just knew that the boy had walked away and left him alone with Trevor. He looked up at him, smiling. "I'm yours?"

Trevor leaned down and kissed him, pulling him flush against his body. This kiss was _so very different _from their kiss in the hallway. In fact, this was everything the last one wasn't. There was passion and heat and intensity and so much just _feeling_.

"Yes," Trevor said, pulling his lips away but keeping his face close. "You're mine."

"I think I could learn to like that."

"Oh, shut up," Trevor said, slapping Blaine's ass. He tried not to show how surprised he was at the action. "You're going to _love _it."

…

_December 31, 2008_

It was not only Blaine's two-month anniversary with his perfect boyfriend Trevor, but also New Year's Eve. Which was kind of perfect. To be honest, ever since Trevor, everything in Blaine's life had been perfect. He was happy again. Trevor was basically the sweetest boyfriend in the world, the best first boyfriend anyone could ask for, in Blaine's opinion.

Every morning, Trevor came and picked Blaine up at his apartment with a medium drip already waiting for him. When they got to school, Trevor and Blaine hung out by the fountain in the courtyard with a bunch of Trevor's friends. They all seemed to be in the same "club," always mentioning their "meetings" when they thought Blaine wasn't listening, but no one would say which club they were a part of, so Blaine brushed it off. Trevor walked Blaine to his first class, gave him a kiss at the door, and greeted him with a kiss after class was over to walk him to his next one and repeat the process. They ate lunch together by the same fountain, then spent whatever time they had left making out in the bathroom on the second floor that people hardly ever used. After school, they'd go to a park and make out, or go to Trevor's giant mansion and make out, or go to Blaine's apartment and make out, or park at the back of a parking lot and make out in the backseat of the car.

Basically, their relationship was a lot of making out, which Blaine was more than okay with. If he got to make out with his sexy as hell, 17 year old boyfriend every day for the rest of his life, you would _not _be hearing any complaints from him. Especially since he had just turned 15 on the 17th, which made Trevor feel less like a creep, or so he told Blaine.

Trevor was the perfect, attentive boyfriend. He surprised Blaine with flowers frequently, which made Blaine blush furiously and become all kinds of bashful. He took him on cute, creative dates, like the week before Thanksgiving when they went to the bookstore and left Post-Its with cute little notes inside the copies of their favourite books in preparation for Black Friday, when many of those books were likely to be bought. Or when they went all over Columbus to all of the security cameras and performed short, silent plays in front of them all. Or, like last week, when they rented a movie neither of them had seen, put it on mute, and improvised the dialogue. Or, like on Blaine's birthday, when Trevor took him to dinner to a town neither of them had been to and used fake names, pretending to be married.

His boyfriend was constantly finding ways to keep him on his toes, and as promised, Blaine _loved _it. For a first relationship, it was going pretty great, and Blaine didn't see that changing anytime soon.

Especially not as they held each other cuddled on the couch in Blaine's living room, watching the ball drop on Laurel's tiny TV. Laurel was out at a New Year's party with friends, so that left Blaine and Trevor the house to themselves. Under normal circumstances, Trevor would have been throwing a party of his own at his house, much like Halloween, but he decided not to this year. For Blaine. Because it was their two-month anniversary, and their first New Year's together.

Blaine just about melted when Trevor told him that his plan for them for New Year's was just to cuddle and spend the night alone together.

And right now, with his boyfriend kissing lazily up his neck, Blaine melted for a completely different reason.

"Trevor," Blaine reprimanded, "if you keep doing that we're going to miss the ball dropping."

"Forgive me, my mind is on a completely different ball right now. A pair of them, actually."

With a boyfriend like Trevor, who was most definitely _not_ a virgin, Blaine had gotten used to these kinds of careless comments being thrown around. That didn't, however, make him blush any less scarlet or keep his stomache from going any less crazy.

Trevor smirked against Blaine's jawbone, knowing full well what that kind of statement did to him, and nipped at the skin there.

"_Trevor._ It's less than 5 minutes until midnight. I think you can manage to control your urges for that long, at least."

"Highly unlikely," Trevor retorted, pulling away. "But for you, I'll try."

"Aw, you really do care about me," Blaine said, smiling goofily at him.

These were the moments Blaine lived for. When it was just them together, none of Trevor's loud and overly masculine friends to distract them and turn Trevor into the borderline douche bag he turned into around everyone else. When they were alone, they could have cute banter like that, and Trevor turned into the biggest sap in the world.

"I love you."

Despite knowing how sentimental Trevor was when they were alone, that was the last thing Blaine expected his boyfriend to say.

"What?"

"I said 'I love you.'"

At a loss for words, Blaine just stared open-mouthed and wide-eyed at the gorgeous ginger next to him on the couch. In all honesty, Blaine hadn't even considered the possibility of love. He was just enjoying the way Trevor made him feel; he didn't want to try and think too much about it, because when that happened, he tended to overanalyze to the point of ruining it. But, when he thought about it, he supposed that he probably did love Trevor. He had fun with him, and Trevor was so good to him, and their relationship was going so well. Was two months too soon to exchange the big L word? Blaine didn't know, but if Trevor was going to say it, he was going to say it back.

"I love you, too."

The worry that was starting to creep its way onto Trevor's face and Blaine's temporary silence immediately vanished, and he crashed his lips against Blaine's pulling him close. This time, Blaine didn't reprimand him or pull away or try to stop him. He could hear the countdown on the television behind him, but the New Year didn't even matter now because _Trevor loved him_.

Blaine was loved.

Finally.

…

Needless to say, they didn't break apart until Laurel came home, sober and having dropped off a bunch of her friends as the designated driver. Trevor was ordered to sleep on the couch, and consequences were threatened if she woke up to find Trevor in Blaine's bed in the morning.

It was around 2:30am when Blaine felt his boyfriend climb into bed behind him, throwing an arm around his waist and pulling Blaine's back flush against his front.

"Laurel's gonna kill you," Blaine warned.

"Let her. If I die lying in bed with you I'll be a happy guy."

Blaine smiled into the dark and didn't answer that. Instead, he said, "I love you," simply because he could now.

He felt Trevor's lips press softly against the top vertebrae of his spine. "I love you, too."

They were silent after that, and Blaine was just drifting off to sleep when Trevor spoke again. "Do you trust me?"

Blaine didn't even hesitate before sleepily mumbling, "Of course."

"I want you to come somewhere with me next week. It's somewhere I've never taken you before, and it's a secret. You can't tell anyone. Okay?"

Blaine was so close to sleep that he probably would have agreed to start a drug and prostitution ring if that's what Trevor wanted. "Okay."

"Cool," Trevor sighed, snuggling closer. "Goodnight, Blaine."

"Mmmh. 'Night, Trevy."

He fell asleep to the wonderful sound of Trevor's soft laughter and the feeling of his arms around him. For once in his life, Blaine felt completely safe and warm and content.

He should have known it would only last so long.

**Ta-da! I know it's been a while, but I hope you enjoyed this. I'll try to post part two A LOT SOONER than I posted this one. So, if all goes as planned, expect part two sometime this weekend. **

**I hope you guys like it, and I'd love to hear from you, so reviews would be great. :)**

**Oh, and points to anyone who picked up on those subtle hints I laid out and know where Trevor is planning on taking Blaine. :D**


	13. The Trevor Incident: Part Two

**Dum, dum, dummmm. This is the chapter guys. It's 'bout to get cray-cray up in herr. I hope you guys are ready.**

_January 6, 2009_

"Seriously, Trevor, where are we going?" Blaine asked for the millionth time.

They'd been driving for an hour and Blaine was beginning to get worried that his boyfriend was taking him out to the middle of nowhere to have him murdered.

"I told you a thousand times. It's a secret."

"If it's a secret, how can you even be taking me?"

Trevor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Just…you'll understand when we get there, okay? Stop asking me, please. I can't tell you. Just be patient; we're almost there."

Blaine huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, slinking down in his chest. He was seriously beginning to get angry. Those mood swings were not getting any better, even with the boxing; if anything, honestly, the boxing just made it worse because it brought all of those emotions to the surface, but their practices were always out before he'd gotten all of the aggression out of this system.

When Trevor said on New Year's night that he wanted to take Blaine someplace secret, he hadn't really thought Trevor was serious, to be honest. It was in the middle of the night, and they were both exhausted, and he figured that his boyfriend's mind had conjured up some crazy story of how they were secret agents going on a mission or something.

Suddenly, the car stopped, and Blaine looked up from his lap to realize that they'd parked. He was hoping that by looking around, he could get some kind of clue as to what the hell was going on, but he was having none such luck. It was just deserted parking lot with about 4 other cars outside a big, abandoned-looking warehouse.

"Oh, my God, you really are taking me to have me killed," Blaine gasped, climbing out of the car and moving to stand in front of the hood.

Trevor slipped his hand into Blaine's and laced their fingers together. "Close, but no. I wouldn't do that; who would be there to get me off?"

Blaine made a put-out noise and punched his boyfriend roughly on the arm with his free hand.

"Ow! Shit. Just wait until we get inside for that, okay?"

He had no idea what that meant. "What?"

Instead of answering him, Trevor just sped up their pace and led them through a metal door around the side of the building. Inside was basically empty, concrete floors and brick walls, all grey. There was a giant contraption with several platforms and poles everywhere in the middle, and in front of that a bunch of mats had been laid down. Everything was getting more and more confusing by the minute and Blaine was not okay with it. He just wanted his boyfriend to tell him what the hell was going on.

Then he spotted the other guys already standing all around the mats and platforms, huddled together in pairs and conversing quietly. When they spotted Trevor and Blaine, they waved and called out to them.

"Hey, Trev. Finally decided to bring the baby boyfriend along, huh? Hope he's ready."

_Why does that guy look so familiar? _Blaine thought. _Oh, Trevor's Halloween party._ It was Ian, Michael's older brother. That's why he'd looked so familiar, because their faces resembled each other in a striking way. And standing directly next to, and kind of behind, was Michael.

Relieved to see a friendly face, Blaine broke away from Trevor and walked up to Michael.

"Hey, man. What are you doing here?" Blaine asked.

Michael looked terrified out of his wits—(then again, Blaine was beginning to think that's how Michael always looked). "Ian brought me. Said I needed to 'get tough.' I have no idea what that means."

"So you don't know what's going on here either?"

"Nope. But I'm guessing we'll find out in a second; your boyfriend looks like he's about to say something."

They both turned around to see Trevor standing in the middle of a circle that had formed when Blaine's attention had been engaged in conversation. He looked around it and saw some of Trevor's obnoxious friends from school, including Ian, and Wes and David.

"You all know why we're here," Trevor started, slowly turning around to face everybody. When he got to Blaine, he smiled a little. "Well, most of you. For those newcomers tonight, let me just say: Welcome to Fight Club."

Blaine's heart started pounding and he could hear his blood pumping in his ears. This was definitely not what he expected, although he admittedly couldn't really come up with anything else. Fight club? Was Trevor insane? Were all of these guys insane?

"First rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. Second rule of Fight Club is: You do _not. Talk. About. Fight Club_. Third rule: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: Only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, guys. Sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes."

Then again, wasn't this just like boxing? Guys just come together and fight. That's basically what he did in boxing, except it was moderated by a teacher, so if someone got out of hand or was getting too aggressive, the match ended. Here, he was free to go as hard as he wanted to. Maybe this would be exactly what he needed.

"Seventh rule is: Fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eight, and final rule, of Fight Club…" Trevor was staring directly at Blaine and Michael. "If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight."

Michael looked like he wanted to shit his pants and was glaring at Ian like he was going to _kill _him when they got home; Blaine, however, was fine. He wasn't nervous at all; in fact, he was kind of excited. He'd been mad before at all the secrecy, but now he knew what all those guys were talking about with their secret club and meetings. They were talking about Fight Club, indirectly, since that would have broken rules 1 and 2.

He felt a presence in front of him and looked up from the floor to find his boyfriend staring down at him.

"Is this okay with you? You mentioned boxing when we met, and anger issues. I thought you would be the perfect new recruit. But I didn't want to bring you before you were ready, or before you trusted me. I had to wait for the right time."

"And what makes now the right time?"

In a completely uncharacteristic move for Trevor when they were in public, the older boy brought his hand to Blaine's face and caressed his cheekbone with his thumb. "Because I love you." Then he took that hand back and wound it around to smack Blaine's behind. "So you won't be mad when I kick your ass."

At first, Blaine was a little pre-occupied by Trevor's public touches, but then he pushed that aside to focus on what his boyfriend was actually saying, and stopped everything.

"Wait, I'm fighting _you_?"

Trevor tilted his head to the side and scoffed. "Like I'd let anyone else lay a hand on you. Come on, Blaine. You said you trusted me. You meant it, right?"

"Well, yeah," Blaine sputtered, at a loss for words. "But I didn't think you meant like _this._"

As soon as Trevor took that step back, Blaine mourned the body heat emanating from him. That didn't matter, though, as he was clearly starting to anger his boyfriend. "It's not a big deal. It's just guys fighting. It's what we do. Don't wuss out on me in front of all my friends, okay?"

Blaine's mouth fell open and he felt like he'd been slapped before Trevor even laid a hand on him. "I didn't want to fight you because I didn't want to _hurt you_, asshole. Now, though, that's pretty much out the window. So bring it on."

He didn't even care if they were the first pair lined up to fight, Blaine immediately started kicking off his shoes and ripping off his shirt. If Trevor was going to be a dick and make this about showing all of his "friends" that his "baby boyfriend" wasn't such a baby, fine. That would be exactly what he did. Blaine was about to show every single one of these guys, including his stupid douche of a boyfriend, that he wasn't some little kid that followed Trevor around like a lost puppy; he was a badass. He was Blaine-_freaking-_Anderson, bitches.

"Trevor and I are going first," Blaine announced to the group, stepping to the middle of the mats. He didn't even care if he was even allowed to do that, but fuck it. He ignored the surprised faces of all of Trevor's friends and shifted his weight from foot to foot, shaking himself out and getting ready.

As Trevor entered the circle in front of him, Blaine tried to focus on his anger and not his boyfriend's hot-as-hell eight-pack. _No wonder Trevor's so ripped; he's in Fight Club._ No. That's not what this was about. He already knew his boyfriend was hot; he needed to concentrate.

"Look, Blaine, I'm sorry," Trevor murmured, leaning close to him. "I didn't mean to come off like that. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Quit flirting and fight, already!" Ian called from the sidelines.

Blaine rolled his eyes and stared hard into his boyfriend's eyes. "Just don't hold back, okay? I'm not as fragile as everyone thinks I am."

"Blaine—"

Whatever Trevor was going to say was cut off by a punch from Blaine. Honestly, he hadn't even expected that, but _fuck_ his boyfriend wouldn't shut up and all he wanted to do was punch him in the face. So he did.

Trevor looked shocked at first, but then Blaine caught the flash of anger in his eyes, knowing it matched his own, and they went at it. Trevor was aiming punches and kicks for Blaine's gut and face, but none of them landed. Blaine's training in boxing was coming in handy, and he was able to deflect everything his boyfriend was throwing at him, while getting in a few good hits of his own. When Blaine swung one of his legs around and knocked Trevor off his feet, he crouched down to straddle his boyfriend's lap and kissed him hard. A few of the guys catcalled from the sidelines. Blaine threaded his fingers in Trevor's hair and grasped it, yanking it back hard to pull them out of the kiss.

"I told you not to go easy on me," Blaine grunted.

Trevor growled and grabbed Blaine by the waist, flipping them over so that he was on top and had the advantage. Blaine wriggled beneath him, making Trevor lean up and over a little bit, exactly like Blaine wanted; as soon as Trevor was in the right position, Blaine brought up a knee to hit Trevor right in the crotch. Trevor howled and instantaneously rolled off of Blaine, curled into a ball.

"Fuck, Blaine! What the hell?" Trevor shouted.

The pained and panicked look in Trevor's eyes brought Blaine back to himself and he realized what he's just done. It was like in the fight he was lost to his own rage, but now that he was looking at his broken boyfriend on the ground, and he knew that it was because of him and no one else, it felt like someone had punched him in the gut, and not just physically since his boyfriend had gotten him, too.

Actually, now that he was lucid, he started feeling pain blossom in his abdomen, not as bad as when his father had broken his ribs, but bad enough to make him feel the need to wrap his arms around himself.

"Come on! Get up and finish it, pussies!"

Blaine groaned at Ian's obnoxious voice. And honestly, he'd had enough. That guy had been begging to be beaten up from day one, and this gave Blaine the perfect opportunity.

Before he had a chance to think it through, Blaine dragged himself up and headed straight for Ian on the sidelines and just tore into him. He didn't even know what he was doing, he was just throwing punches left and right, letting the adrenaline of his fist colliding with that asshole's face keep him going.

"Hey! Hey!" He felt arms encircle around his waist and he was being pulled back, his hands hitting nothing but air. "One fight at a time! Only two guys per fight! Rules four and five, Blaine!"

Blaine wrenched himself out of Wes' grasp and stood there, panting and feeling satisfied at the blood trickling down Ian's face.

"Control your boytoy, Trevor!" Ian was yelling, wiping the blood from his face. "Or he doesn't get to come back."

"Please," Blaine laughed humorlessly. "You're just afraid that if I come back it'll be _your_ ass I'm kicking next time."

Ian started to charge at Blaine when David stepped in between them, holding his arms out. "Cut it out, guys! This fight's over. Blaine, you win. Go pick your boyfriend up off of the floor and go home. You two are done for the night."

As Blaine turned to his boyfriend, who was already starting to get up on his own, he heard Ian call out, "Yeah, Anderson, why don't you go make sure his dick is still working?"

Blaine tried hard to control himself and focus on his boyfriend. He leaned down and helped Trevor the rest of the way out, bringing his arms around his boyfriend's waist to help them walk out. "Are you okay?" he asked, ignoring Ian completely.

"'m fine," Trevor mumbled.

Michael caught Blaine's eye as they were leaving and looked sympathetic, and still scared out of his mind. Blaine felt bad for him; not just because he was probably up next, but because he had a brother like Ian.

When they were back to the car, Blaine asked for Trevor's keys, who handed them over without a word, and unlocked the doors. He maneuvered Trevor into the backseat and slid in on the bench beside him, shutting the door.

"I am so sorry," Blaine said, not even knowing where to start but knowing he had to get that out first. "I can't believe I did this to you. I don't know what came over me, I swear. I just…I guess I needed this a lot more than I had initially thought. I didn't mean for my anger issues to come out all over you."

"To be fair," Trevor interrupted, "you did warn me you had anger issues when we met. And I did ask for it."

"So you're not mad?" Blaine whispered.

Trevor leaned over and coughed, shaking his head. "This is what I brought you here for."

"To beat you up?"

"No, to unleash yourself like you did. I could see it in your eyes, Blaine. I don't know what happened to you, and it's okay that you don't want to tell me, but I can see it all over your face, how much you just want to hit something all the time. That boxing class you take isn't enough for you. You needed to get that out. I paired myself with you because those guys in there, for all their big talk, wouldn't have been able to handle you. I knew that I could. And I wanted to be the one you let that out on. I want to take your pain away, Blaine. You're so young, and you look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders; I just wanted to take some of that away."

Blaine had no idea what to say to that. He'd thought his boyfriend was being such a dick earlier, just like Ian, and here he was saying the sweetest thing in the world. Everything was so messed up; _Blaine _was so messed up.

"I'm _so _sorry, Trevor," Blaine said, hating the way his voice quivered and the tears stung his eyes.

Trevor's head whipped up to face him and he hurriedly gathered Blaine up in his arms, holding him tight. Blaine felt Trevor wince, knowing he'd done a number on his boyfriend, and loved him even more for ignoring that pain to make him feel better.

"Shh," Trevor murmured, petting Blaine's hair. "Don't apologize. I'm fine. See? I'm okay. We're okay. Everything's okay."

"It's not, though." Blaine pulled his head out of its burrow in Trevor's chest and gazed up into those beautiful brown eyes. "It's _not _okay. Everything _isn't _okay, Trevor. Don't you wonder why I live with my _cousin _in a _tiny, one-bedroom apartment_? I'm 15-years-old. Fuck, as much as I hate it, I'm a _kid_, and I don't live with my parents. Don't you wonder why?"

Trevor brought Blaine's face back to his chest and held him tightly, rocking them back and forth. "It doesn't matter. None of that matters, okay? Nothing matters but you and me. Whatever it is, you don't have to worry about it. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. We're together and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay," Blaine sniffled.

And for a second, he almost believed it.

…

_February 14, 2009_

Valentine's Day.

This was supposed to be the most romantic night of the year. More importantly, it was supposed to be romantic because it was Blaine's first Valentine's Day that he got to share with the person that he loved. He'd never had a boyfriend before, so he'd always spent Valentine's Days alone. Now, though, he had Trevor; this was supposed to be perfect. And it had been, for most of the night. Trevor picked him up at the door, facing the wrath of Laurel, and promising to have Blaine back before his weekend curfew of midnight.

Trevor had managed to reserve the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium for the night to be just him and Blaine—(and Blaine really didn't want to think about how much money _that _cost)—then took him all around the zoo, making sure to take extra-long at all of Blaine's favourite animals. When they got to the aquarium, there was a table with a beautiful dinner set for two in the tunnel of water. They ate their dinner while fish and sharks swam all around them and over their heads.

The night had been perfect and original and romantic and everything Blaine could have imagined his first Valentine's Day to be and more. Trevor had been the epitome of the perfect boyfriend all night.

Which was why Blaine had absolutely no idea why they were fighting right now.

"It's _my_ car, Blaine!" Trevor was shouting. "_My _car. If I want to listen to goddamn _bluegrass_, then that's what we're going to listen to, because that's what _I _pick in _my _car. I worked my ass off to pay for this car, I worked hard and I earned it. I think the least you can do is respect that and leave my radio alone."

"Oh, really? Are you sure your loving parents didn't just buy it for you?"

Trevor abruptly pulled over onto the side of the road and put it in park, getting out and slamming his door before walking around to the Blaine's side. Blaine threw his door open and stepped out too.

"What's _that _supposed to mean?"

"You know _exactly _what that means! You're loaded, and you have absolutely _no problem_ showing it."

"No, my _parents _are rich, Blaine. Which I never knew you had a problem with. I only ask them for money when I know I won't be able to afford it, like for something like tonight, where I pay to have a whole fucking _zoo _shut down for you. You didn't seem to have a _problem _with me 'showing it' tonight."

"Don't you ever stop to think about how that might make me feel, given that I live in an apartment with my older cousin?"

"And there we go. It's always about _you _and your older cousin and _boo-fucking-hoo_, Blaine, you live with your cousin. Big fucking deal—"

Blaine slapped him. Hard.

And that was all it took. Suddenly, they were rolling around on the ground, punching and hitting and slapping each other like they hadn't done since that night at Fight Club. Blaine had never gone back after that, just because he didn't want to let that happen again, and yet here he was, doing exactly that.

He wasn't even sure who broke apart first, but suddenly they were lying on their backs, side by side, in the grass on the side of the highway. No one stopped to see if they needed help, which was good, because what would they have said if someone did? "No, that's okay, I'm just fighting with my boyfriend. You can move along now."

Was it normal for fights to escalate to violence like this? Blaine had no idea. This was his first relationship. How was he supposed to know? The feeling in his gut saying "no" probably should have been his answer.

…

_April 1, 2009_

Blaine didn't like the turn their relationship had made. It was like that night at Fight Club had opened up a portal in his relationship with Trevor, one that made physical violence an okay solution when they fought. It wasn't always full-out brawls, sometimes it was just a slap across the cheek or a punch to the eye, but either way it wasn't okay. Blaine knew that.

But he also knew that they were both so deep now there was no going back. And he couldn't afford to lose Trevor. Not when he'd lost so many people already.

Though, somehow, he felt like he was starting to lose Trevor anyway. He'd been doing all he could to hold onto him. He hadn't started any fights, verbal or physical, for a good couple of weeks. And if it looked like they were about to enter into a disagreement, Blaine quickly gave in and kissed his boyfriend until they both forgot their names, much less what they were close to arguing about.

Even that method was starting to lose its effect, though. It was like, no matter what Blaine did, Trevor seemed like he didn't even want to be around him anymore. His boyfriend was growing more and more distant. It started with one cancelled date—which led to a fight, of course, that ended with a black eye on Blaine's end (that came with a nice, fake story to explain to Laurel)—but turned into not even making date plans at all anymore. Trevor still picked him up in the mornings, but often left him alone to go hang out with his friends by himself. There were no more flowers, no more medium drips, no more quick kisses before class.

Blaine was worried that he was losing the one good thing he had left in his life.

On top of that, he and Michael had started to grow closer as friends, studying together since they had 2 of the same classes, but even that friendship had started to dwindle. Michael was slowly starting to fit in with Ian and Trevor's crowd, around the same time he was being pushed out, and it scared Blaine. Why was Michael good enough and Blaine wasn't? From what Blaine heard, Michael lost his first fight at Fight Club. Badly.

_At least he was allowed to come back_.

No. Blaine wouldn't think about that. He was determined to have a good day. It was a Friday, the start of a weekend. Maybe he could convince Trevor to go on a date with him this weekend. It was also April Fool's Day, which meant that all of the Daltonites would go around pranking the teachers all day. So it was almost like a holiday from school since no real learning could take place when all the frogs were let out from the science lab and fake spiders were tied to the ceiling and coins were glued in a trail on the floor.

Yes. This _would _be a good day.

Devising a plan, Blaine raised his hand in the middle of his first class and asked for the pass to the bathroom. He was going to go to the place he knew Trevor went to every day to skip his first period, since it was english and Trevor _hated _that class, and he would surprise him with a fun, mini-make out session, then propose a nice date for that weekend. He couldn't drive, but Trevor could come over to their place and they could cuddle on the couch like they had on New Year's.

Except, as Blaine was heading down the hallway, he heard noises coming from the alcove on the third floor (Trevor's spot). He slowed his steps and peeked around the wall cautiously, not able to hold onto the gasp that forced itself out of his chest. Because those weren't just noises, they were _moans, _and they were coming from _Trevor, _who just happened to have another boy pinned against the wall, their lips glued together.

At Blaine's sharp gasp, the boys jumped apart, and he could clearly see that the other boy was—

"_Michael?_"

Trevor immediately started trying to fix the situation. "Blaine, before this gets out of hand—"

"_Before this gets out of hand_, Trevor? _Really_? Because seeing as how you're _my _boyfriend and your lips were just firmly attached to _another guy's_, I'd say this is already _out of hand._"

"Just let me explain—"

"Explain _what_? How could you possibly explain this?"

"I…"

When Trevor trailed off, Blaine shook his head and laughed. "Exactly. That's what I thought."

The three of them stood there in silence for a split second before Blaine nodded his head, sniffed and wiped his nose, then charged at Trevor. He was hitting everywhere he could; Trevor's face, his chest, his shoulders, his arms. It didn't matter. He wanted Trevor to hurt like he was hurting. This time, it wasn't about Trevor lifting the weight off of Blaine's shoulders or whatever _bullshit _he had fed to him that first night; this was pure fury.

Trevor brought his hands up and pushed against Blaine's chest hard enough to launch him backwards, off of him, and they both sat there staring at each other before Michael spoke up.

"Hey, Blaine, man look. This is all my fault, alright? Don't get mad at Trevor."

And Blaine thought that Michael had never looked more pitiful.

"Oh, really, Michael?" he said, climbing up off of the floor. "Well I guess if you're going to tell me how to feel or not feel towards my boyfriend in my relationship, I have to listen to you, right?"

"That's not what I meant, man—"

"No, I know what you meant. This was your fault, you said. Good. Then I know who to hit."

No sooner had the words left Blaine's mouth than he was following through on them and punching Michael square in the jaw. The boy was knocked over with the force of the blow and fell onto the ground beside Trevor.

"_Blaine!_"

Blaine watched as his boyfriend leaned over another guy, checking his face and making sure he was alright, cradling him like he used to cradle Blaine.

"Nice, Trevor. Real nice."

Trevor looked up at him, his face a mixture of emotions. Blaine tried to identify a few of them—shock, pain, and was that _fear_?—but didn't care enough to look too hard. "What the hell is wrong with you, Blaine?"

"What's wrong with _me_? You're the one who cheated on me! With _Michael_! You always sounded so scandalized by our age difference, but I guess you like preying on the younger and weaker."

"Look at yourself, Blaine. You're not weak. You're a fucking _wreck_. You wanna know why I went looking for someone else? All we ever do is fight. And our fighting turned _physical, _Blaine. You and I both know that's not normal. Even beyond that, you've _never _hit _someone else_ when we fight. You have _issues, _man. And being with me is making them worse."

"No, you treating me like _shit _is making my 'issues' worse."

"Just stop, Blaine. It's over. We're not good together. That's all there is."

"We're not good together? Or I'm not good enough?"

Blaine walked away without giving Trevor the chance to answer. He was afraid of what it might be.

…

Blaine didn't return to class after that. He was actually impressed how they'd been shouting in the middle of the hallway and no one, not a single teacher or student, had come to see what was going on. But that was Dalton for you, he guessed. They liked to pretend like all of their students were perfect gentlemen, and any problems they had were ignored until they went away.

He was starting to realize that that was all he would ever be; a problem to be ignored until it went away. It's what his parents had done. They ignored him until he got to be too much, and they threw him away. Now Trevor had done the same thing.

What was so wrong with Blaine that no one wanted him? He hadn't been good enough for his parents, and now he wasn't good enough for Trevor. How long until Laurel saw what his parents and Trevor did and threw him out, too?

The thought made Blaine shiver as he walked down the sidewalk away from Dalton, having no particular destination in mind. If Laurel abandoned him too, he'd truly be left with nothing. He would be put in foster care, bounced from home to home because surely, if his own loved ones didn't want him, complete strangers wouldn't either. _What loved ones_? Did Blaine even have any loved ones? Was Blaine even loved? He sure didn't feel like it.

Why was he so messed up? Why was he never good enough? Why couldn't he control his anger, or the damn tears that had started falling down his face? Why did no one care about him?

If no one loved him, why was he even still here?

…

When he called Laurel an hour and a half later and asked her to pick him up, it felt all too much like the one night of his life he worked hard every day to _not _remember. He was sobbing, and he didn't know where he was; he was just sitting on the curb, and knew that he had to call Laurel, because she was all he had left, and all he could do was hope and pray that she still cared enough to come and get him.

She did. She was there in under half an hour. The second he got in the car, he was berated with questions as to why he wasn't at school like he was supposed to be, and what happened, and why was he crying, and it was just all too much. He couldn't take it.

So he didn't say anything. He just let himself collapse into the seat and let go of everything, succumbing to the darkness he knew it was only a matter of time that he gave himself over to.

…

_April 5, 2009_

He hadn't gone to school for the rest of the week. Laurel called out on account of family emergency. Blaine was confused for a second before remembering that he still had a family; Laurel counted as family.

He hadn't spoken at all since that day. Not once. It was like nothing in the world mattered anymore. He had no one. He was no one. And without an identity, what was the point of using your voice?

Laurel, of course, was flipping her shit. She tried desperately to get him to talk, calling over social workers from when everything was going down with his parents last year. He heard them all talking about how he was clinically depressed, and heard them in patronizing tones tell him that he was not allowed to close his bedroom door, and he was not allowed to lock the door when he went to the bathroom or took a shower. Not that that was really necessary to tell him, since he hadn't felt up to even taking a shower since that Wednesday.

Blaine wasn't dumb. He knew what that meant. He was on suicide watch. Which was dumb. Because Blaine wasn't suicidal. He just didn't necessarily see the point in his existence anymore if he was such a hindrance to everyone. But he'd never take his own life. He was a drama queen, but not that much. If anything, he'd probably just run away in the middle of the night and start over in a new town with a new personality that people might not feel the need to run away from.

Ironic that he would run away to stop people from running away.

…

"Blaine."

He felt a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, burrowing further into the covers, trying to go back to sleep. Sleep was easier. When he was unconscious, he couldn't think of all of the shit going on in his conscious realm.

"Blaine, come on. Talk to me. Please."

He rolled over reluctantly and came face to face with Laurel, who was lying in bed beside him. He wanted to tell her to get out of his bed, but then he realized that it wasn't his bed, it was hers. He didn't even have a bed to call his own.

"I just want to know what happened. You don't have to give me huge details. I just need to know what's happening with you, Blaine. This is serious."

He groaned. _Like I don't already know that._

"I care about you. It is _killing _me to see you like this. I can't stand to see you hurting."

_If it's killing you just to watch me hurt, imagine how I feel._

"I just want to know what to do to make you feel better."

_You can't. I can't feel better. I'll never feel better._

…

_April 11, 2009_

The entire week had gone by and Blaine had only gotten out of bed to pee. He didn't even have to get up for food; Laurel brought it to him. He just didn't feel up to going to school and learning. Or moving. Or existing, for that matter.

…

It was a fluke, really. Laurel had been listening to her iPod in the living room while grading papers, Blaine could hear it from the bedroom, when she suddenly burst in and said she was going to go out and pick up the pizza that he hadn't known she'd ordered for dinner for them. Why she hadn't had it delivered, he would never know.

He was lying in bed in their apartment alone, too exhausted to get up and go to the living room to shut her music off, when he heard it. It was a song he vaguely recognized the melody to, but had never actually listened to the words of.

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way_

_She felt it every day_

_And I couldn't help her_

_I just watched her make the same mistakes again_

_What's wrong, what's wrong now?_

_Too many, too many problems_

_Don't know where she belongs_

_Where she belongs_

It was Avril Lavigne, and while Blaine was never really that fond of her to begin with, the words were hitting a little too close for him to ignore.

_She wants to go home_

_But nobody's home_

_It's where she lies_

_Broken inside_

_There's no place to go_

_No place to go_

_To dry her eyes_

_Broken inside_

That was basically how Blaine felt at the moment, in a nutshell. He wanted to go home, but he had no place to go. He had no home. He felt like he was just staying at Laurel's apartment, but it was just temporary. He had nowhere. He was broken inside with nowhere to go to fix himself.

_Open your eyes_

_And look outside_

_Find the reasons why_

_You've been rejected_

_And now you can't find_

_What you left behind_

_Be strong, be strong now_

_Too many, too many problems_

_Don't know where she belongs_

_Where she belongs_

He had no idea why, but when the chorus started up for the second time, he belted it out. He messed up a lot of the words, and his voice was low and raw from its lack of recent usage, and laying down was definitely not a good position to sing from because he couldn't get proper breath support. But it just felt so _good. _

_Her feelings she hides_

_Her dreams she can't find_

_She's losing her mind_

_She's falling behind_

_She can't find her place_

_She's losing her faith_

_She's falling from grace_

_She's all over the place_

He threw the covers off his legs and slowly, shakily, stood up.

…

When Laurel got home to find Blaine singing his heart out to "My Happy Ending," also by Avril Lavigne, she was so startled to see Blaine not only out of bed but using his voice that she dropped the pizza on the floor.

**There we go. I'm leaving it there, the start of Blaine getting his life back together. I hope I didn't build it up too much, although I know I did. Next chapter we'll see Blaine and Kurt talking about it, so we'll get that extra advantage of hindsight as Blainers tells Kurt about how he was feeling at the time; about how music saved his life, and that's why he's so passionate about it.**

**Who would have thought that Avril Lavigne would be who brought Blaine back to life? Am I right? Hahaha.**

**Anyways, whether you loved it or hated it, send me a review and tell me about it. :)**


	14. Love

**Yayyy! The one lovely reviewer I had, klainetakemybreathaway, didn't totally hate last chapter! My life is complete! Thank you, by the way, klainetakemybreathaway. I love you. Your reviews make my life better, since you're the only reviewer on this story that I have left. I can't tell you how much that means to me. :)**

**So, with that, here is the next chapter. Dedicated to klainetakemybreathaway. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Or anything pertaining to Glee. Really, the only things I own in this story are Laurel and Trevor. So. Yeah.**

_July 14, 2012_

"…So that's it, basically. Everything with Trevor, anyway. He was out of the picture out of that, as you can imagine."

Blaine wiped the tears from his face and brought both hands to rake through his hair, then kept them tangled on his head. He clutched the hair, pulling it from the scalp enough to hurt. He had never in his life wanted to relive those memories. It was like the night his parents kicked him out; too painful to go through more than once.

For Kurt, though, Blaine _wanted _to do this; he wanted to go through and tell the stories all over again, letting the memories crash over him like a tsunami, thrashing him around and letting the current take him where it would. He wanted Kurt to know everything, the bad more than the good. Because it's not the good things that define you, but the bad, and how you make it through. He wasn't a stronger person for the A he got on his chemistry final that year; he was a stronger person for surviving while his whole world was falling apart.

"Blaine…" Hearing his name whispered on Kurt's lips brought him back, anchored him until the water was low enough for him to stand again. "I don't even know what to say."

Blaine shrugged. "There's not really anything for you to say, I guess. I just…you had to know what happened. You needed to know. I had to tell you."

"Why?" Kurt murmured, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Blaine turned from where he was sitting on the bed to face Kurt, who was sitting behind him. "Trevor…he wasn't a terrible person, at the end of the day. The way Laurel talks about him, it can come off that way, but that's because I didn't tell her everything."

"What parts didn't you tell her that you told me?"

"The physical stuff," Blaine answered. "She, uh…She doesn't know about that. She never knew anything about Fight Club or how, after a while, it was impossible for him and me to argue _without_ throwing fists. All she knows is that I had this perfect first relationship with this older boy I was infatuated with who cheated on me and broke my heart when I was at my weakest."

Kurt scooted forward on the bed and wrapped his arms around Blaine from behind and to the side a little, hooking his chin over Blaine's shoulder. "What happened after that day? The one where Laurel came home to you singing Avril, I mean."

"That night, I totally broke down and told Laurel everything. Well, not everything, but you know what I mean. And after that, it was so easy to talk to her about it. I fell into that place again, the emotionally unstable place I go to during hard stuff. It didn't turn physical, because it was more depression than anger that time. But Laurel decided to put me back in boxing, and made me go to a therapist again. I told her about feeling like I didn't have a home, like I was just crashing on her couch. It was hard telling her that, because I knew it would hurt her feelings, but my therapist said that I needed to be open with her and urged me to tell her. Hence this house. Laurel immediately started looking for houses and found this one. It was out of her price range, but she was insistent that we do it because she would do whatever it took to make sure I was okay again.

"The Warblers helped with that; making me okay again, I mean. Once Laurel figured out how much singing helped, she spoke with some of the faculty, and clued me in on the Warblers. I auditioned my sophomore year, and they let me in. Junior year, they made me lead. Senior year, I was on the council. The Warblers took up all of my free time, which was perfect, because that meant that I always had rehearsal at times when I would normally have to see Trevor around school. And being in the Warblers gave me free access to the choir room whenever I wanted, so I ate lunch there, hung out before or after school when we didn't have practice. Wes and David were in it too, and at first I was scared that they were going to hate me or something because of everything that went down with Trevor. Instead, they told me how they never really liked him anyway, and he shouldn't have done that to me, and they became my best friends. I think Wes and David saved me just as much as music did."

Blaine felt Kurt shift behind him, huffing out a tiny breath of air, and knew he was just itching to say something, but was afraid to because he wasn't sure how Blaine would take it. "Kurt, we're already talking about everything, whatever it is you want to say or ask, you can."

"I was just wondering…you keep saying music saved you, and you said that you were really depressed, and that you just stopped talking, and never even got out of bed…and I'm just wondering…"

"You're wondering if I ever tried to kill myself," Blaine finished bluntly. No use beating around the bush.

Kurt nodded against his shoulder, and Blaine could tell that he didn't even want to say it out loud. He hoped that was because he couldn't stand the thought of losing Blaine, and not because it made him uncomfortable to know that he was in a relationship with such a basket-case.

"I never tried it, no. At the time, I convinced myself that I didn't really want to; I kept trying to make myself believe that that was something I would never even think about, never consider. But in reality, just the fact that I kept telling myself that says that I was thinking about it. I wanted to believe that I wasn't that messed up, that I was still normal enough that I didn't want to die like those other crazy kids you see at school that everyone talks about. I was exactly like them, though.

"When I finally came back to school to finish up the year, everyone was looking at me differently. You could just tell that they _knew_. After a bad break-up like that happened and it took me weeks to face everyone again, they drew their own conclusions. They probably weren't that far off, to be honest."

"Did you ever…hurt yourself?"

Blaine pushed up the sleeves on the hoodie he was wearing and held his arms out for Kurt's inspection. "Not a single scar. I think I was so depressed that I didn't even have the energy to try."

Kurt just tightened his hold around Blaine in response, not saying anything. The whole situation felt too delicate, like if either one of them said the wrong thing or made a sudden movement or spoke too loudly, the room would explode.

After a few minutes, Kurt whispered, "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Blaine. I'm sorry Trevor did that to you."

"It wasn't entirely his fault. I had issues back then; lots of them. Trevor had no idea going into the relationship that I was so messed up. He just wasn't equipped to handle someone like me. That night after Fight Club, when we were in the car, he said he paired himself up with me because he knew none of the other guys could take me, but he could. It turns out he couldn't handle me either; no one could."

"Laurel did."

"Laurel didn't know everything. I was always really careful around Laurel, and she was around me. She made a point to not do anything that would upset me in any way. Trevor didn't care; he treated me like he treated everyone else. Which I liked at the time, because even though I knew Laurel was doing that for my benefit, it got old; I felt like a mental patient. Trevor just treated me like a normal human being. The problem with that was Trevor, although he was a good guy at heart, was good at being bad. He was kind of a dick sometimes."

"I can tell."

Blaine broke free of Kurt's embrace to turn around and face him. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you kind of remind me of him sometimes. But you remind me of all the things I loved about him, not the bad. Laurel sees it too; that's why she's so skeptical of you. She's afraid that since things are so good right now, and you have so many of the good parts of Trevor, that you must have the bad somewhere in there too. She thinks you're going to hurt me like he did."

"I would never do that to you." Kurt brought his hands up to cup Blaine's face and stared into his eyes. "Trevor didn't know you like I know you. You didn't tell him everything you've told me. I know the good things _and _the bad things, and look; I'm still here."

"I know. That doesn't mean that you won't change your mind one day, though. We already had one fight; you saw how mean I can get. When I get mad, I don't _just _get mad, I get angry and volatile and _mean_. I can't help it. She thinks that one day, you're going to realize that I'm too much, and you're going to save yourself and I'll end up alone."

"She thinks that, or you do?" Blaine's lack of an answer was enough for Kurt to continue. "I won't do that, Blaine. It's different with us."

"How do you know? How could you _possibly _know that?"

"Because even though we had that fight, you never laid a hand on me. In fact, I seem to recall that just after you'd got done yelling at me in the middle of a coffee shop and started to leave me there, you turned around and _kissed me on the forehead._ You and Trevor never ended an argument with a kiss on the forehead, did you?"

"No. They usually ended with a split lip, black eye, bruise, fractured bone—"

"_You broke each other's bones?"_

"I fractured Trevor's wrist one time." Blaine winced, realizing how that sounded.

_God_, had things really gotten that bad with them? At the time, he didn't realize it. Looking back, though, Blaine cringed thinking about all of the physical damage he and Trevor had caused each other. Typically an abusive relationship was only abusive on one end—there was an abuser and their victim—but with Blaine and Trevor, they'd shared both roles equally. It was sick.

Shuddering at the thought of it, Blaine shook his face out of Kurt's hands and backed away on the bed, leaving space between the pair. Kurt looked hurt at the distance, and all Blaine wanted to do was rush forward again and hold him and kiss him forever; but he knew he couldn't do that. Thinking about what he was capable of made his head spin. What if he lost control during an argument with _Kurt_? What if he lashed out and hit _Kurt_?

He would never be able to forgive himself.

"I know what you're thinking," Kurt started, reaching out. Blaine backed up more until he wasn't even on the bed anymore; instead, he stood beside it, on the opposite side of where his boyfriend was. Having none of that, Kurt got off of the bed too, and walked around to where Blaine was. Blaine took a step back. "Stop. Stop backing away from me." Kurt grabbed Blaine's wrist and drew them together before Blaine could slip away. "You're a different person now, Blaine. You're not the same 15-year-old boy you were back then. You've grown up, and worked through a lot of your issues; you're in a better place now." Kurt placed a hand under Blaine's chin and tipped his head up to look directly into his eyes. "You're not going to hurt me. Do you hear me? You're not. I trust you. You would never do that to me."

"You don't know that, though. Trevor and I didn't intend to hurt each other. We didn't sit around and plan, thinking, 'Hey, the next time we get in a fight, I should knock one of his teeth out.' It was just how it happened."

"That's how it happened because you had no self-control back then. You've gotten help since then, professional help, and you've learned how to control yourself. That much is evident from our own fight."

Blaine sighed. Kurt just wasn't getting it. He had this perfect picture of who Blaine was set up in his mind, and it just wasn't true. Blaine wanted to scream in frustration. Nothing he said was getting through to Kurt, it wasn't reaching him. It was like nothing could shatter that image of Blaine in Kurt's mind, and it was driving Blaine crazy.

"You don't understand," Blaine said, pushing himself out of Kurt's arms and walking away to stand in a corner of the room, away from Kurt. "You've built up this…this perfect person in your mind. You think I'm this amazing guy that's gone through a lot of hardships and has become some saint in spite of the shitty hand life dealt him. But that's not me. I fractured my own boyfriend's wrist. I gave him countless black eyes and bloody lips and noses and covered his whole torso in bruises. _I did that._"

"He did it to you, too," Kurt inserted gently.

And why was Kurt making excuses for him? Now that Blaine had really gone back to that time in his life and was thinking it through, he wasn't any better than Trevor had been. Hell, he was probably even worse.

Blaine hated himself.

"_I'm not a good person, Kurt! _God, what do I have to say to make you understand that?" He was yelling, and he knew that Kurt's whole family was probably listening, but he was in that place and he couldn't get out. He felt like he was drowning all over again.

"Nothing you say will make me think that, Blaine. _You _are the one that needs to understand."

"Understand what?" he spat.

Kurt started taking tentative steps towards him, and when he made no show of moving, Kurt placed one hand on Blaine's face and the other over his heart. "I want you to listen to what I'm going to say. Don't just brush me off and tune me out because you don't agree, okay? Listen to these next words very carefully: _You are a good person_. You are. You did some bad things—lots of really bad things—but that doesn't make you a bad person. You were a kid who had to go through a lot of really tough things that even some adults couldn't handle. And you have convinced yourself that because other people who you trusted to love you let you down, you're not worthy of being loved; you're not capable of being loved. But let me tell you something, Blaine Anderson.

"I love you. And I don't care if we've only known each other for a month, and it's too soon to be saying that, because hell, it's too soon for me to be _feeling _that, but I do. I can't help that I feel so strongly for you. I can't help that you had an awful adolescence. I can't help that you've been hurt and abandoned. All I can do is tell you that I love you; that you are someone worth loving. And I will work every day for the rest of my life to show that to you and help you to see that. Because no one deserves to feel this way about themselves, not when they're someone as special and beautiful as you are, Blaine.

"Because you are. You're a beautiful person."

It was too much; it was all too much. Kurt loved him. He'd known for a little while now that he loved Kurt, but to hear that Kurt loved him back was exactly what he needed to push him over the edge.

So without another word, Blaine fell into Kurt's arms and cried. Sobs wracked his entire body, and he was gasping, trying desperately to lift his head high enough above the water to reach air.

…

When Blaine awoke the next morning, he was confused out of his mind. Where was he? This wasn't his bed. Who was that wrapped around his body from behind?

Then it hit him all at once.

Everything from when he set foot in the Hudmel house to him bawling in Kurt's arms. He must have cried so hard and for so long that he exhausted himself to the point where he didn't even register Kurt moving them to the bed.

Their hands were clasped over his stomache and he felt Kurt's thumb ghosting back and forth over his knuckles, so he knew the other boy he was awake. He rolled over to his other side to face him. Kurt was just lying there, staring at him with those open, loving eyes.

Loving.

Kurt told him he loved him last night. And he never said it back.

"I love you," Blaine blurted before he could really think about it. He hurried to explain. "You said it last night and I never got a chance to say it back. But I do. I love you."

Kurt smiled softly. "I know."

Remembering the context of Kurt's words, an unpleasant feeling overcame Blaine and he closed his eyes. He was reminded of a quote he'd read somewhere.

_You will rip yourself to shreds to prove that I am worth loving. You will not hear the chorus of everyone I've let down. _**(1)**

"Stop," Kurt whispered.

Blaine's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Stop what?"

"Stop thinking. I can't read your mind, but whatever it is looks like it's something you shouldn't be thinking of. So stop it."

Blaine rolled his eyes with a sigh and buried his face in Kurt's chest, cuddling closer. He felt nice enveloped in Kurt's warmth like that. It was like Kurt was his security blanket.

"There's probably breakfast downstairs waiting for us, if you want to venture out of bed," Kurt offered, running his hand up and down Blaine's back.

"Give me a few more minutes. I just want to lay here in bed with the person I love for a little while longer."

Kurt made a noise of appreciation at Blaine's words and tugged him in even closer, if that was even possible. They were as close as two people could be without melding together. That was fine with Blaine, though. He was more than happy to just stay like this with Kurt forever.

Too bad Finn had made it his life's mission to ruin any and all perfect moments for the two of them.

"Hey, dudes, Mom made chocolate chip pancakes and bacon!" Finn exclaimed, bursting into the room.

Kurt literally growled, the sound vibrating low in his stomache enough that Blaine felt it. "Finn Hudson, if you don't get out of my room within the next 5 seconds, I am going to _castrate you._"

Blaine heard the door shut before Kurt could even finish the threat, and he chuckled.

"And what, may I ask, is so funny?" Kurt demanded.

Reluctantly, Blaine pulled back a little to look at his boyfriend's face. "Nothing. You. Your family."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Well, apparently I was correct in my assumption that breakfast was waiting for us. So, if you'd like to go laugh at me and my family some more, we can go downstairs."

To be honest, Blaine would gladly give up food and water if it meant he could lie with Kurt for the rest of his life. But he knew that was impossible, so he nodded and disentangled himself from Kurt. "I'm just gonna use the restroom first. I'll meet you down there."

"Okay."

They left the room at the same time, Kurt heading down the stairs and Blaine disappearing into the bathroom. He took in his appearance and shook his head at himself. His eyes were red, and his cheeks still had tearstains. He splashed water on his face, rubbing at his eyes, then turned off the faucet and dried himself off. With one last dismal glance at the mirror, he decided that there was nothing more he could do and opened the door to follow where he'd seen Kurt go.

Before he even reached the bottom of the stairs, he heard Kurt and Burt talking in hushed tones.

"That was an awful lot of yelling I heard last night, kid. That is, until I heard what sounded like crying. Are you two okay?"

Blaine mentally cringed. So his boyfriend's family _had _heard. Great.

"We're fine, Dad. Blaine just…it was a rough night. But he's okay, and we're okay."

"Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"Not really. Don't bring it up around Blaine, either. He'd probably hate himself even more if he knew you heard everything that was going on last night."

Blaine didn't miss that Kurt had said he'd hate himself _even more_, implying that he already did, and was hoping that Kurt's father hadn't picked up on it.

The voices stopped so Blaine deemed it safe to continue his descent downstairs. He found Kurt and his dad standing just outside the kitchen and offered a small smile. "Good morning, Mr. Hummel."

"'Morning, kid."

Mr. Hummel was eyeing him suspiciously, like if he stared hard enough he could figure out every single thing that he and Kurt were keeping from him. Kurt nudged his dad and gave him a very pointed look before turning to Blaine.

"I'm hungry. Let's go get you a plate of those pancakes."

Blaine took the hand Kurt held out to him and they walked into the kitchen together. "You're not going to eat any?"

"_Please_, Blaine. My body doesn't look this fantastic on its own. I have to nourish it properly. I will be making myself a nice bowl of fruit."

"Already made, dear," Carole said from where she stood at the stove, cooking more pancakes. She gestured to the fridge.

Blaine watched Kurt walk away from him and open the door to the refrigerator, stepping back with a bowl of cut and washed fruit in his hand. Kurt kissed Carole on the cheek before continuing to the table. "You are an _angel, _Carole." When Kurt saw the way Finn was shoveling pancakes and bacon into his mouth across from him, his face wrinkled in disgust. "Your son, however, I cannot say the same for. Really, Finn, the food isn't going anywhere. You don't have to eat it so quickly."

"Don't just stand there, Blaine," Carole chided gently. "Make yourself at home. Go ahead and grab a plate, get as much of everything as you want."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hummel."

He did as he was told and got a few pancakes and a couple strips of bacon, setting them down beside Kurt but not yet sitting down. He noticed that Kurt didn't have anything to drink, so he laid a hand on his shoulder and said, "What do you want to drink?"

Kurt looked taken aback. "Oh, that's okay. You don't have to get me anything. I should be offering to get you a drink; I'm the world's worst host."

Kurt started to stand up but Blaine gently pushed him back down. "No, it's okay. What do you want? I can get it for you. I'm already up."

He noted the way Kurt's eyes were searing into his, like they were trying to see into his soul. So he tried his hardest to convey what he was thinking so Kurt would understand.

_You helped me last night more than I will ever be able to thank you for. Let me do this one thing for you in return._

"A glass of milk would be nice," Kurt said.

Blaine was grateful for the way Kurt was always able to read him so clearly. No one had ever been able to understand him like that before.

"One glass of milk coming up."

He searched a couple cabinets until he found the cups, then grabbed two and set them on the counter. He poured himself and Kurt each a glass of milk and put the carton away, bringing the two glasses to the table and giving Kurt the one that was filled more.

Kurt leaned over and gave Blaine a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Anytime, love."

He caught the way Kurt's eyes lit up at the pet name and counted that as a victory. He had finally found a pet name that Kurt approved of. Feeling triumphant, he brought his lips close to Kurt's ear and said low enough for only Kurt to hear, "I told you I'd find a suitable term of endearment for you."

Blaine swooned at the flush of color that took up residence on Kurt's cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah. Eat your pancakes."

Chuckling, Blaine turned to his plate and picked up his fork, digging in.

It felt nice, to be a part of a family like this again. Burt came in a few seconds later and Kurt sternly called out, "No bacon, Dad." Blaine laughed at their interaction. Watching Kurt and his dad made his heart ache for his own dad, but at the same time, it gave him a bit of comfort. He didn't really have a dad anymore, did he? His dad had already signed away any parental rights he had. But for some reason, after his talk with Burt last night and the way Burt was asking about him that morning, he felt like maybe he could have a second shot at that dad thing.

After all, if he and Kurt were exchanging "I love you"s now, they were obviously serious about each other.

Maybe one day, Burt wouldn't just be like a dad to him, he'd be his father-in-law.

**I know, it's a tad early for Kurt and Blaine to be talking like that, but shhhh. Just go with it. **

**(1) The quote Blaine was talking about was from a book called **_**The Realm of Possibility **_**by David Levithan. It is a fantastic book, my favourite actually, and I highly recommend it to all of you.**

**So, there we go. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. So why don't you review and give me your thoughts? :)**


	15. Baby

**Yay! A new chapter! :D**

**Thank you to all who reviewed last chapter. :) Seriously, you guys don't know how much that means to me! :D klainetakemybreathaway is a faithful reviewer, and I always love hearing from you. :) Then we have new reviewers! AprilShowers87, DancingintheRayne, and Sheree T. All of your kind words mean a lot to me, you guys, and I can't thank you enough. **

**So now that I have thanked all you generous reviewers, on with what you're all here for: the story!**

_July 26, 2012_

Overstimulation.

That's a word, right? Blaine decided that yes, it was a word. A word that described exactly how he felt at the moment. Overstimulated. He couldn't remember a time when all 5 of his senses had been used so strongly all at once before.

He could hear birds chirping, kids playing, trees rustling.

He could smell the warm summer air surrounding them, the grass beneath where he and Kurt were laying, the flowers that formed the circle around their spot.

He could see the clear blue, cloudless sky above them, the leaves of the trees above them, the lake in front of them, Kurt beside him.

He could feel the warmness of Kurt's hand in his, Kurt's body heat, the summer breeze.

He could taste the sugar-free lemonade and fancy, gourmet cheese Kurt had packed for them as a snack—(_not_ a picnic, because Kurt Hummel did not eat a full meal outdoors). Then, when Kurt unexpectedly rolled on top of him and started kissing him, Blaine was overwhelmed with the taste of _Kurt_.

Unfortunately, Kurt pulled away not even a minute later and smiled down at Blaine.

"Hi," Kurt whispered, smiling and taking one hand to trace his fingertips down the side of Blaine's face.

Blaine felt a matching smile creep its way onto his face. "Hi."

"How are you feeling? In this moment, right now?"

"Overstimulated," Blaine replied without even thinking.

Kurt threw him a confused expression and amused chuckle. "While I appreciate your vocabulary, do you think you could accompany that with an explanation?"

"I don't know," Blaine sighed, running his hands up Kurt's sides. He felt a little victory jolt in his heart watching Kurt shiver at his touch. "I feel like all of my senses have kicked into overdrive. Everything around us, all the sounds and sights and smells, they're all heightened. My body is hypersensitive to your touch—" As if on cue, Blaine felt his own body tremble as Kurt's fingertips glided lightly down his chest. When he spoke again, his voice was quivering and his breath was shaky. "And all I can taste now is _you._"

In lieu of a verbal response, Kurt swooped down and captured Blaine's lips again, slowly lowering himself to be completely on top of Blaine. Almost automatically, Blaine's legs slid apart, allowing Kurt to settle between them.

This was the closest they'd ever been, and if Kurt hadn't been the one to initiate it, Blaine would have been freaking out right now, wondering if maybe they were moving too fast.

Then again, they were exchanging "I love you" now. So maybe this wasn't that fast at all.

"Is this okay?" Kurt murmured, moving his mouth down the side of Blaine's neck. He found a spot he liked and latched on; Blaine's eyes rolled back and he tilted his head partially in pleasure and partially to give Kurt better access.

"Far more than okay—_Kurt_, God, do that again."

He could practically _feel _Kurt smirk against his neck as he nipped at the skin again. Involuntarily, Blaine moaned at the sensation. And not a normal, quiet moan. No, this was a porn star, make-it-extra-loud-for-the-camera moan. Good thing they were alone.

Blaine had thought that, for sure, the sound would make Kurt freak out at just how heated things were getting and back off. Instead, Kurt detached his mouth from Blaine's neck and collapsed his forehead onto Blaine's shoulder, pressing his hips down and—_oh._

"Kurt," Blaine gasped, pushing against his boyfriend's chest, creating space between them. "Maybe we should stop."

It was half-hearted, and Kurt could tell. "Do you want to stop?"

He hesitated, but after a moment slid out from under Kurt and sat up, scooting a little to the side. "We need to cool down."

Kurt pouted a little, still lying down but on his back now, his head turned to the side to look at Blaine. "I wouldn't say we _needed _to; I quite liked where things were headed."

"Kurt. We should talk about it."

"Talk about it?"

"Yes."

"Are we lesbians now?"

Blaine chuckled. "No. But you're inexperienced. And that's not a bad thing, but I want to make sure that we go slowly enough for you, like you wanted. We've rushed everything else—not that that's a bad thing, or that I don't like it—I just want to take this part, the sexual part, at a more gradual pace."

Blaine's heart constricted at the sight of his boyfriend caving in on himself; he immediately knew where Kurt's train of thought was going, and he didn't like it one bit. "Is it because…because you're not attracted to me?"

"No, Kurt, stop." Blaine pulled Kurt up and into his lap, now calmed down enough to allow that. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and looked him straight in the eye, willing his nerves to go away. Talking to Kurt about this made him kind of comfortable; since these were thoughts he didn't share out loud to _anyone_, much less the object of them. "I don't know if you noticed, but not 2 minutes ago I was writhing under you while you sucked at my neck." He felt better when he saw a blush creep onto Kurt's cheeks, signifying that he wasn't alone in his discomfort. "Trust me when I say this: I am attracted to you. It's just…I'm a little _too _attracted to you, if that makes sense."

"It doesn't," Kurt laughed. "But go on. You may continue to tell me about how hot you think I am."

Blaine grinned. "You have no idea. But that's the problem. I can hardly control myself around you on a normal day, Kurt. I constantly have to remind myself that it would not be appropriate to break into your dressing room when we're clothes shopping and make out with you."

"I wouldn't mind. Just for future reference."

"But especially today," Blaine continued, ignoring Kurt's raging hormones speaking. "when I'm feeling…well…everything, I have no control. You have absolutely no idea what you were _doing _to me, Kurt."

"I think the noise you made was a pretty good indication."

"Could you stop with the commentary, please? I'm trying to have a real conversation with you right now."

Kurt nodded, pulling his lips into his mouth like he was trying not to smile. "Yes, I'm sorry. I'll stop."

"What's gotten into you today, anyway? You're not normally this…forward. Sexually."

Kurt averted his eyes from Blaine and bit his lip, toying with the fabric on the back of Blaine's shirt.

Blaine knew his boyfriend; he wasn't stupid. He could tell what that meant. Kurt was hiding something.

"Kurt?" Blaine said, drawing out the name. "What aren't you telling me?"

Soulmate sighed. "My dad may have…he wants you to come over again. Tonight."

Oh.

After the initial sleepover, Blaine had been so mortified from the panic attack at dinner and emotionally exploding all over Kurt's room after telling him the Trevor Incident that he hadn't found the courage to go back.

He closed his eyes, remembering that night and his conversation with Laurel when he'd come home the following afternoon.

…

_July 15, 2012_

"Well, well, well," Laurel said from her spot on the sofa, not looking up from the magazine in her hands. "Look who's home. How was dinner with the boyfriend's family?"

Blaine flinched at the thought of it. "Disastrous."

"Details in a moment. And the sleepover afterwards?"

"Equal parts disastrous and wonderful."

Laurel set down the magazine and patted the cushion next to her, looking up at her baby cousin in the doorway. "Come tell me all about it."

Really, Blaine was impressed. He knew how Laurel felt about Kurt, and about his relationship with him. He was surprised that she wasn't smiling at his pain or jumping up and down shouting "I told you so!" Then he mentally slapped himself for not giving his cousin more credit than that. He knew she had his best interests at heart. She was just protecting him.

"Blaine?"

Blaine shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts, and crossed the room, falling onto the couch next to Laurel. She placed a comforting hand on his knee, waiting for him to speak.

"I had a panic attack at dinner," he said finally, not bothering to try working up to it. "In front of his whole family."

"Seriously? You haven't had one in years. What brought that on?"

"Carole, Kurt's step-mother, is a pediatric nurse. She was talking about it, and it just brought back memories of the night Mom and Dad kicked me out."

"Oh, God. Please tell me they didn't freak out."

"No, no. They, uh…they've dealt with panic attacks before." He wanted to tell Laurel everything, but as always, he wasn't willing to reveal anything about Kurt, so he left it there, hoping she'd leave it alone.

"Okay." Blaine could tell she was suspicious and wanted to know more, but was thankful when, like he'd wanted, she left it. "So, then, what happened after? You were okay?"

"Yeah, Kurt helped me. Then we went upstairs, and talked." He purposefully left out the talk he'd had with Kurt's dad; it seemed like something special, only between Mr. Hummel and himself. He didn't want to ruin that bond they'd tentatively created.

"You…talked?"

"About Trevor."

The shift in atmosphere was palpable.

"Oh."

Blaine sighed. "Yeah."

She was quiet, and he gave her a moment for the information to sink in. Sure, she'd urged him to tell Kurt about Trevor before, but it was different now that he'd actually done it. Since she didn't know about all of the turmoil throughout Blaine and Trevor's relationship, Blaine knew that for her, the Trevor Incident was more about the aftermath of the break-up, and telling someone about a time in your life when you were so depressed you didn't get out of bed for _weeks_ was a big deal.

"You told him…everything? All of it?"

_More than you know. _"Yeah. Everything."

Laurel nodded, mostly to herself. "How did he take it?"

"Really well, actually." This was the part Blaine enjoyed thinking about. Out of all of that horrible mess last night, _Kurt loved him._ "He told me he loves me."

"Really?" Laurel asked, not sounding surprised at all, which in turn surprised Blaine.

"Yes. You're not…I don't know…shocked?"

"No. You were?"

Blaine shrugged. "Kind of."

"Please. It was pretty obvious, Blaine. You two have been head over heels for each other since the day you met. I already knew it from your end, and then I saw it from his end when he spent the night over here. You two aren't exactly subtle. Hell, you called him _Soulmate._"

"That was before I knew his name!"

"That's my point!"

"_Anyway_," Blaine huffed, getting back on track. "He told me he loved me because I…I was telling him about what happened after I found Trev and Michael…you know…"

"Yes, I know all too well," Laurel said softly, squeezing Blaine's knee.

"He, um…He asked if I'd ever tried to…And you know I didn't but…that just opened up that whole discussion, and it got really intense…" Blaine hated himself for the water filling his eyes, falling in droplets, racing each other down his face. Laurel scooted closer, taking the hand on his knee and wrapping that arm around his shoulders, leaning her head on his shoulder. "It just brought up a lot of those feelings from that time, and it wasn't my best moment. I was in that place again, that place that I _hate _going to, you know I hate going there."

"I know."

"And I just couldn't help it. I was yelling and crying and freaking out and his whole family heard it—they didn't say anything to me but I _know_ they did, Laur, and I'm _so _embarrassed. I'm not going back there. I can't. I can't even look them in the face now. It's humiliating. But Kurt, _God,_ that beautiful, understanding boy just said all of these sweet things, things I never thought anyone would say to me, and he told me he loves me. He said those three words." Blaine rested his head on top of Laurel's and shut his eyes tight, trying desperately to at least control the crying, if the tears were for sure going to come now. "He said the three words I never thought I'd hear someone say again."

"Blaine," Laurel sighed, holding Blaine's waist tight in both arms, "Of course someone was going to say those words again. You are someone worth loving."

Despite everything, Blaine smiled. "That's what Kurt said."

"Well, he was right. You are. It was only a matter of time. And…I'm glad it was him. He seems…if he's stayed after all of this, everything you've told him and all the things I can only imagine you said to him during your fight and last night, then…I approve. I am finally letting go of that reluctance towards him. Kurt is obviously good for you. And you two are so in love it hurts me to look at you," Laurel laughed, giving Blaine an extra squeeze to communicate her teasing. "I'm done fighting against you guys. You're obviously…well…soulmates."

"Thank you," he murmured. "You'll never know how much your acceptance means to me."

"I'll always accept you, Blainers. _I love you._"

His heart swelled. "I know. I love you too, Laur."

…

_July 26, 2012_

"Oh, for the love of _Vogue_, I've broken you," Kurt was saying, his hands on Blaine's cheeks.

Now back to the present, Blaine laughed. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About how much you don't want to come over tonight?"

"No. About what happened last time I came over."

"Blaine, I already told you, no one cares. Carole and Finn are used to that kind of stuff, I haven't exactly had it easy either, remember? And my dad…he genuinely just wants to see you; he wants to make sure you're alright. He really, really likes you."

That made Blaine feel a little better, he'll admit it. He had a feeling that he'd never get used to how much Burt cared about him. It was strange, having a father-figure who actually _wanted _him around, and loved him for exactly who he was. It was a feeling foreign to Blaine, and he felt a sudden rush of bitterness at the thought that something as simple as having a parent _care _should not be so hard to accept.

"Okay," he found himself saying. "Yeah, I'll come over."

Kurt squealed in happiness and threw his arms around Blaine, kissing him on the cheek. "Good! Finn will be as annoying as ever, but Carole will be delighted, and Dad will be really happy, though don't be offended if you can't tell. He's not a super expressive person unless it's an extreme situation, like his marriage to Carole or me getting my acceptance letter to NYU."

Blaine nodded stiffly, forcing a smile as Kurt pulled back. "Yeah, no, it's okay. It'll be fun."

In reality, Blaine highly doubted that. It wasn't that he didn't like Kurt's family, because he did, it was just that he didn't know how he was going to show his face there again after what happened last time. He just really didn't want to repeat that.

At the same time, though, he craved that fatherly attention. After his parents kicked him out, Laurel became his mother, in a sense. But Laurel wasn't really one for relationships, so he'd never had a man around to take on the role of his father. Which wasn't out of the ordinary, lots of guys grew up with single mothers, but Blaine had already had a father; he just didn't want Blaine. That was what got to him.

A part of him was reveling in all of the attention he was getting from Burt Hummel; the other part of him was just waiting for Burt to find out who Blaine really was and throw him away, just like his real father had done.

…

It was silent in the Hudmel household—something Kurt had already told Blaine was almost unheard of—as the five of them sat at the table, eating dinner. It seemed like everyone wanted to say something, but no one wanted to be the one to break the silence. It was getting increasingly awkward with every passing moment, and Blaine longed for the minute when he and Kurt could go upstairs _alone_ and cuddle.

After that afternoon, all Blaine wanted to do was cuddle. Making out would lead to something so much more, he was sure of it.

"So, are we, like, not talking in case Blaine freaks out again? Because this is a really awkward dinner."

"_Finn!"_

Blaine laid a hand on Kurt's thigh under the table before his boyfriend leapt across the table and strangled his step-brother.

"It's fine, Kurt. At least someone finally said something. I agree, it was getting kind of awkward."

Everyone fell quiet again, except it was even _more _awkward, now that the previous awkwardness had been acknowledged aloud.

"Okay," Burt started, laying his hands down on the table. "Blaine's right."

"I said it first!" Finn protested.

Burt ignored him, something Blaine had a feeling they all did a lot. "We didn't invite Blaine over to all sit here without speaking and stare at each other. Someone start a conversation."

"I found illegal pictures of Marc Jacobs' new line on the internet—"

"A conversation everyone can follow, Kurt."

Kurt sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Fine. Why don't we just let Blaine start, then? He is the guest, after all."

"Great idea, Kurt!" Carole exclaimed, smiling. "What would you like to talk about, Blaine?"

This whole thing was just getting more and more awkward, and Blaine was _not _having fun, like he'd said earlier. All four of the Hudmels' eyes were on him, and he suddenly felt like he was a Junior Warbler again, standing in the spotlight while everyone looked at him.

"Um…I found a guitar pick today."

The looks turned from expectant to confused, so Blaine rushed to explain.

"I collect guitar picks. I mean, I play guitar, so I have my own. But I like finding random ones out in the world. They each have their own story, you know? Every guitar pick has played something different, they've all been held by different musicians' hands. When I find them in random places, like in the parking lot at the Arboretum today, I pick them up and keep them. It's fun using other people's guitar picks. I feel like it connects me to their previous owner, and I can get some special music mojo from each and every one."

Everyone was still staring at him, not saying anything, so he shrugged and looked down, pushing the food around on his plate with his fork. "I don't know, now that I've said it out loud it probably sounds weird."

"No." Blaine looked up to meet Kurt's eyes, realizing that instead of staring at him like he was crazy, he was looking at him with a softness in his eyes. He knew he recognized the look, but couldn't quite place his finger on when he'd seen Kurt look at him like that before. "I am so in love with you right now."

Before Blaine could feel embarrassed about doing so in front of Kurt's family, Kurt leaned over and kissed him gently, breaking away after a few seconds.

Burt cleared his throat pointedly, so Blaine backed out of Kurt's personal space and returned to his plate.

"That's kind of gross, dude," Finn stated, shaking his head. "You don't know where those things have been, or where the hands that have been touching them have been. You could be touching a pick that touched some guy's hand after he jerked off or something."

"Inappropriate, Finn!" Carole shouted, reddening in the face.

Kurt scoffed, unphased by Finn's crassness, more focused on his overall point. "Please, Finn. This coming from the guy who went a whole week, _7 days_, without taking a shower last month."

"It's summer! No one showers every day during the summer!"

"I do," Kurt said smoothly, taking a sip of his water.

"So do I," Blaine added.

"Me too," Burt offered.

"Same here," Carole finished. "Finn, honey, I have no idea where you learned that it was okay to go an entire week without bathing. I _know_ I taught you better than that."

After that, dinner went smoothly for the most part. There were no panic attacks, no more awkward silences, no bad conversations. It was just a family sitting around the dinner table, eating and having fun conversing with each other. Blaine was thrown off by the thought that came to his head that he could get used to this quite easily. For the first time since his parents kicked him out, he felt like he could really be part of an actual _family _again, not just two people like him and Laurel. Sure, they were a family of their own, but this felt more normal, more like the type of family he'd always longed for. It was nice.

It was especially nice when they were all carrying their dishes in to the kitchen, Finn racing upstairs to play _Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2_ with Puck and Carole shooing everyone else out, insisting on cleaning the dishes on her own.

Burt kissed her on the cheek, Blaine deciding that he and Carole were the cutest adult couple he'd ever met, and then herded Kurt and Blaine to the living room, insisting they all three sit down and have a "talk." What this "talk" would entail was a mystery to Blaine, but if it was anything like Laurel's idea of a "talk," his previous relief was short-lived.

"Relax, kid, I'm not gonna ask about what you and Kurt do alone together; I've already got a pretty good idea," Burt said, sitting down on his armchair next to Blaine and Kurt on the couch.

"Okay, Dad, that's enough of that!" Kurt squeaked, jumping up and looking ready to flee the room.

"Hey, hold on a second, Kurt. Sit down. I still want to talk to the two of you."

Reluctantly, Kurt settled back down next to Blaine. Feeling bold in spite of the situation, Blaine reached over and held Kurt's hand in his own. The action was not missed by Burt, but he didn't say anything about it.

"Now, Blaine, what I said last time you were here still stands, you hear me? I don't know why you haven't been here since that first night, but you're always welcome here, got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"I don't know what all that yellin' and cryin' was about, but that's between you and Kurt. I just need you to know that it doesn't change anything."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Dad, you said you wouldn't bring it up around Blaine."

"That was that day, Kurt, because you thought it would upset him. I figure time has passed and I can mention it again. Blaine's a big boy; he can handle himself, right, Blaine?"

"Yes, sir," Blaine repeated, nodding.

"I woulda had this talk with you alone, kid, but I also figured you'd probably just run up there and tell Kurt everything I said anyway."

He couldn't help it, he laughed at that, and felt himself relax a little. "Yeah. I would have."

"That's what I thought. Look, I don't wanna make this some big thing, I just wanna say that I'm on to the two of you."

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, looking perplexed and offended at the same time.

"Kurt, you said you were in love with him and kissed him in front of me." Kurt's cheeks immediately burned red. "Exactly. I see you two. I'm not blind. I can tell you guys are serious. I just wanna make sure Blaine is equally as serious about you. I gave him the caring talk last time, because he looked like he needed to hear that; and I meant every word of it, Blaine. But now this goes beyond just sayin' you care about Kurt a lot. I'm lookin' out for my kid. You know where I'm comin' from, right, Blaine?"

"Absolutely, sir."

Because he did. This was exactly what Laurel wanted to do to Kurt. She wanted to grill him and make sure Kurt was just as serious about Blaine. At least, she did at first. Now she didn't need as much confirmation. Kurt's father, it seemed though, did. And Blaine was fine with that, really. It wasn't a big task to tell someone about how much he loved Kurt. He could go on and on about all the little things he loved about Kurt, but he had a feeling that wasn't what Burt was looking for. After all, Burt knew Kurt. Anything Blaine could say, Burt would already know. It wouldn't be impressive, it would be obvious. So Blaine was wracking his brain for something to say that could convince his boyfriend's dad just how serious he was, how serious he'd been since the very day he'd laid eyes on Kurt.

Wait a second…

_That's it._

"Mr. Hummel, I know that I could ramble all night about everything I love about your son, but I have a feeling that wouldn't do much. Instead, I'm going to tell you something that even Kurt doesn't know."

Kurt turned to face Blaine, definitely hooked now that he was about to reveal something Kurt didn't know yet. Kurt probably assumed that after all Blaine had told him, there weren't any more secrets.

This one wasn't intense, though. Just potentially embarrassing.

"The first day I met him, I was completely thrown off. I'm just sitting in class, fully prepared for my summer to absolutely suck because I have to keep going to school, even though I just graduated and had _finally _escaped. Then, I drop my pen, and before I can even think to grab it, this beautiful boy snatches it right up and_ twirls it _before holding it out to me." Blaine smiled to himself at the memory. "I was so taken by surprise by everything that is _Kurt _that I couldn't even speak. Which he teased me for, not even knowing my name yet. I didn't know his name either, at the time, and my brain was so consumed with thoughts of him that I had to have a way of referring to him before he finally told me his name. So I came up with a nickname."

He broke off, ducking his head out of the heated gaze of his boyfriend beside him. It was weird, reliving the day he'd seen Kurt with Kurt right beside him.

"What was it?" Kurt prompted.

Blaine hesitated, still smiling. He lifted his eyes and gazed right into Kurt's. "Soulmate."

Instead of laughing at him like Blaine had expected him to, Kurt's face broke out into that amazing smile he loved, his eyes taking on that emotion from earlier, the one he still couldn't place. "You called me your soulmate before you even knew my name?"

"Yeah. I had to have something to call you. You were so gorgeous, and clever, and perfect, that I was convinced from day one that we were made for each other." Before they could get carried away and just stare lovingly at each other for hours, or start making out right there on the couch, Blaine turned his attention back to Kurt's dad. "I love your son, Mr. Hummel. I think I have since the first day I met him, if love at first sight is actually real. You've already put it together yourself that I've gone through stuff, and sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, but ever since Kurt came into my life, it's like everything makes sense; as long as I have Kurt, I'm okay."

Kurt had that look in his eyes again, and Blaine decided that he really needed to ask Kurt what that was about when they were alone. Now, though, he was more worried about Burt Hummel, and what he would say after Blaine had just poured his heart out to prove that he was worthy of being with his son.

"Well, it was definitely different hearing that day from your point of view after hearing it from Kurt's."

Blaine smiled, turning to face Kurt, deciding that nothing was more important than finding out how his boyfriend had seen him that first day. "And how would that story go from the point of view from you, Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt smirked and bopped Blaine on the nose. "Nuh-uh. I'll never tell."

"What happened to no secrets?"

"I have to retain _some _sense of mystery. How else am I going to keep you around?"

"Oh, I can think of a few ways," Blaine murmured, leaning in.

Mr. Hummel cleared his throat, and Blaine almost had a heart attack. To be honest, he'd completely forgotten his boyfriend's dad was still in the room.

"Before this conversation takes a turn I really don't wanna witness," Burt interrupted, shutting his eyes for a second; he opened them again and leaned forward, elbows on knees. "Let's just agree that Blaine, you're not going to hurt my kid. It's obvious you two have something special, but if you ruin that, I'll hunt you down. You got that?"

He figured he was supposed to be scared, but for some reason, he wasn't. He knew that there was no chance of that happening. "Yes, sir. Absolutely."

"And Kurt, you're not going to hurt Blaine. The kid obviously thinks you're his sun and moon and entire freakin' world. You ruin that, and I'm going to hunt _you_ down. Got it?"

Kurt nodded, lifting Blaine's arm and leaning against his side, wrapping the arm around himself and threading their fingers together. "Got it, Dad. We'll be good and stay together forever and send you a wedding invite next week. Okay?"

"Alright. I'll leave you two alone now."

With that, Burt pushed himself up and headed up the stairs to where Blaine assumed was his bedroom.

He felt Kurt snuggle deeper into his side the second his father left the room, and sighed dreamily.

"So a wedding, huh?" Blaine asked, giving Kurt's fingers a squeeze. "I better get a say in the planning."

"Not a chance. No one interferes with the wedding planning expertise of Kurt Hummel extraordinaire."

Blaine chuckled and rested his head on top of Kurt's, who'd allowed his head to fall on Blaine's shoulder a minute before. "Fine. But you better live up to the hype. I will not have a sub-par wedding."

"It wasn't too much, was it?" Kurt asked suddenly, voice shaky.

"What?"

"Me throwing in that comment about a wedding. I wasn't serious. It was just to appease my dad, you know?"

"I know." He pressed his lips to the top of Kurt's head. "But it's a nice thought. For the future."

"Right," Kurt whispered. "For the future."

Kurt tilted his head up to look Blaine in the eye, and there was that damn look again. Blaine was going to get to the bottom of this.

"What is that look for?"

Confusion spread across Kurt's features. "What look?"

Blaine thought back to all the times he'd seen that facial expression before. "That one time, in the coffee shop, right after you asked me out for the first time. The barista handed us our coffees and when we sat down and I looked over at you, you had this strange expression. Then, that time we were walking down the street and I put a $20 bill in a guy's guitar case while he was playing for tips. Tonight, at dinner, when I was talking about my guitar pick collection, and then when we were talking to your dad just now, when I mentioned that I call you Soulmate in my head. And now you're looking at me like that again. I've been trying to figure out what that look is since the first time I saw it."

Kurt's face completely melted, looking at Blaine with that same look he was asking after.

"There! That! Right there! What is that?"

Kurt leaned up and kissed him softly, then pulled back and whispered against his lips, "That's love, idiot."

Blaine was totally perplexed. If it was love, surely he'd have known. Blaine knew what love looked like; he certainly knew what love _felt _like, so why wouldn't he know what it looked like? Furthermore, why would he be looking at Blaine with love just for _picking up his coffee_?

"Wait, hold on. What do you mean?"

Soulmate rolled his eyes. "Blaine, all of those instances are reasons why I love you."

"Me picking up my coffee made you love me?"

"It wasn't because you picked up your coffee. It was because you leaned over the counter and read the barista's nametag and thanked her by name. No one else would have done that. You know, most people just take their coffee and go, completely ignoring the people who just made their coffee. They totally ignore when those hard-working people call out to them to 'Have a nice day!' and here you were making sure to thank the girl by name." Kurt shook his head, smiling softly. "That was the first time I knew I was falling for you. Apart from the first day I laid eyes on you."

"Which you're going to tell me about now, right?"

"Not a chance."

"That is so not fair. You heard my side of the story."

"I'm well aware, _Soulmate_."

Blaine laughed, leaning forward to nuzzle his face against Kurt's neck. "It doesn't work as well when you do it."

"Really? Because I quite liked it."

"Fine," he found a particularly beautiful spot right underneath the right side of Kurt's jaw and kissed it. "You can call me Soulmate, if that's how you want to play this game. Just be prepared for whatever ammo I pull out against you."

"No offense, but with you kissing my neck like that, I'm not very terrified," Kurt replied, his voice high and breathy. _Score. I have him right where I want him._

In a few swift movements, Blaine had Kurt lying on his back on the sofa, Blaine hovering above him, grinning predatorily. "Then I'll just have to work harder, won't I, _baby_?"

The groan Blaine knew Kurt was about to let out was stopped short when Blaine dipped his head and started sucking on the part of Kurt's neck he'd just kissed. Of its own volition, Kurt's head tilted back against the sofa, allowing Blaine a full-access pass to his neck, which Blaine gladly took advantage of.

"Shit, Blaine. What is it with you and—_oh_—calling me 'baby' anyway? Geez, if you stop what you're doing, I swear I'll murder you."

"I don't know," Blaine admitted, dragging his mouth across every inch of skin he could find. "But I have a feeling you secretly like it."

"Oh, really?"

"Mmhmm."

"What makes you say that?"

Blaine brought his lips to Kurt's ear and practically growled, "I dunno, _baby,_ why don't you tell me?"

As if on cue, the second the word 'baby' left Blaine's lips, Kurt shuddered beneath him, clawing at Blaine's back. Blaine laughed, breath hot in Kurt's ear, and nuzzled the side of Kurt's head.

"Stop nuzzling me like a damn dog and kiss me," Kurt ordered, raising a hand to grab Blaine's face and direct it towards his own.

_Victory_. In all honesty, it was a shot in the dark whether Kurt actually had a secret thing for being called 'baby' or not, but Blaine figured it was worth it to check. Even if it wasn't a turn-on for his boyfriend, he could just go back to kissing him anyway. Except, since he was right, Kurt seemed even more turned on, which served Blaine quite well.

Much to Blaine's excitement, no one walked in on them while they made out on Kurt's living room couch. Honestly, given their previous experiences, Blaine figured that Finn would inevitably walk in, or Carole would say something when she headed to her room after cleaning the kitchen, or Burt would appear in the doorway and clear his throat. But none of this happened. Instead, Blaine was allowed a full hour of uninterrupted make-out time with his boyfriend, which he was extremely grateful for.

This seemed like a sign, somehow, that everything was going to be okay. The universe was telling them that they were meant to be; they were allowed to have this nice physically intimate time as a couple in reprieve from all the grief they'd been given up until that moment. In spite of everything, they were still just a normal couple, who were allowed to have normal couple time.

It was nice. Everything was going well. Blaine sincerely hoped it stayed that way.

**Yay! So, that was also a little reprieve for all of you guys from all the angst that's been happening. I present you with fluff and happiness and a nice dose of steaminess too ;)**

**I'm not sure if I like it or not to be honest. But that's how I feel about all of my writing.**

**So how about all of YOU tell me how YOU felt about my writing by dropping me a review! Yes? Yes. Okay. Thanks. :)**


	16. A Thousand

**New chapter in the hizzouse! Are you guys excited? Because I am. This idea came to me in the shower this morning when I was thinking about how much I wanted to update but how I had no clue what to do next. And then…this happened! Hope you guys like it :)**

**And yayyyy to my new reviewer RockinSpaz :D You guys know how I love reviews, so thank you to our new reviewer, and also all of my old ones because I feel really happy that you guys love me so much. So thank you also to klainetakemybreathaway, my friend Ellyse, Sheree T, and Shimmeh. You are all wonderful. :)**

_August 5, 2012_

_12:47am_

In hindsight, Blaine really should have said no. The whole idea reeked of chaos the second Kurt mentioned it. But when Kurt was giving him that face, the one he _knows _works every freaking time, how was he supposed to say no?

…

_August 4, 2012_

_11:03am_

"This is nice," Kurt murmured, snuggling closer.

Blaine nodded absently, too overwhelmed with happiness at the situation to say anything.

Sleepovers had become a thing for them, whether it be at Kurt's house or Blaine's; it was rare that they ever spent a night separated, which proved great for the now almost non-existent dark circles under Kurt's eyes. Laurel and Kurt's dad and stepmom weren't very thrilled with the fact that their boys were virtually never apart, voicing such opinions out loud on numerous occasions, but the way Blaine and Kurt saw it, they were going to be with each other pretty much all day every day in New York, too. They had a lot of overlapping classes (being the same major and classification), they lived in the same dorm building (although Blaine was the floor above Kurt), so it would basically be the same when they left for New York in three weeks anyway.

_Three weeks_. Blaine almost couldn't believe it. He was leaving for New York in just three short weeks. When he graduated, he was dreading the summer. He thought that it was going to just be his summer classes, and then a whole lot of nothing. Probably just sitting around the house all day, not doing anything productive, wasting away perfectly good Ohio summer days. But the universe had better plans for him. Right at the beginning, he met Kurt, and he'd never been more grateful for anyone to come into his life like Soulmate had. Maybe with the exception of Laurel.

He felt Kurt nudge his head even closer, practically nuzzling Blaine's neck as they lay together, their limbs tangling together and making them into one person. "Just imagine us doing this every day for the rest of our lives."

Apparently, that had also become a thing. They were only together for a couple months, but to them, that was nothing; especially when you think of the fact that they're going to be together for the rest of their lives anyway. Because that was how they saw it now. Once Kurt had casually mentioned a wedding, and Blaine responded with a casual mention of their future, it was like an unspoken agreement that _Yes, you are the one for me; I love you and I will continue to love you every day for forever._

It reminded Blaine of a song. What was it? Something about a thousand years. _Oh. Duh_.

Absentmindedly, Blaine began to hum it, prompting Kurt to ask, "What's that song?"

"'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri."

Kurt pulled away just a couple inches to lift his face up to Blaine's. "And why would you be getting that song into your head, hmm?"

In lieu of an answer, Blaine sang.

_I have died every day_

_Waiting for you_

_Darling, don't be afraid_

_I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you_

_For a thousand more_

He concluded the first part of the chorus by closing the inch or so between their faces, attaching his lips to Kurt in a silent promise. As always, Kurt got his message loud and clear, and kissed back with just as much passion, somehow still keeping it gentle. This was just one of a myriad of things that Blaine loved about him; his kisses.

Blaine was the one to break it, staring at Kurt like he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. _That's because he is_.

"I like that song," Kurt whispered.

Blaine replied just as quietly, "Me too."

This moment, just like so many between them, seemed to hinge on the fact that everything was soft, gentle, quiet. Their moments of love were always _legato _and _piano_, if Blaine was going to speak in a language he was familiar with. When music was _legato _and _piano_, it was just like this; soft and quiet and continuous and just flowing like a calm stream in the forest. That was exactly how they were in that moment; _legato, piano_.

Kurt reached one of the arms between his and Blaine's body to touch a hand to Blaine's face, stroking his temple with his thumb. "You think too much."

"Only about you," Blaine said. "It's only ever about you."

"Are you saying I'm all you think about?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Blaine chuckled, kissing Kurt's forehead. As much as he really didn't want to leave this bed, he knew it was inevitable. It was about to be noon on a Saturday. They had a whole day to be lovey-dovey together, they might as well go on a few adventures while doing so.

"Let's do something exciting today," Blaine suggested.

"Like what?" Kurt asked, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Blaine laughed internally at the fact that his boyfriend shaped his eyebrows.

"I dunno. We could…dress up really nicely, pretend to be married, and test-drive cars at a car dealership and go to open houses and stuff."

"Don't you think that will take some of the magic away from when we actually _are _married and we really _do _go look for cars and houses?"

He considered it for a few seconds, then decided Kurt was right, as always. "Okay…so, then…Let's go around the city and draw hearts with equations inside on random things."

"Cute, but I'm almost certain that's also vandalism. You can't just draw on public property, Blaine."

"Little kids do it all the time."

"They get away with it because they have adorable little faces that no one could possibly get angry at. While you are adorable, I somehow don't think you would have the same effect as a 5-year-old would."

Blaine huffed, scowling at Kurt playfully and bumping their foreheads together. "Fine. We don't have to do anything. We can just lie here forever and ever and ever."

"Should I be concerned that you're saying that like it's a form of torture?"

"Nope."

To be honest, Blaine would have elaborated more and said that that was his plan to begin with, but he was still stuck on the fact that Kurt had mentioned how cute kids were. He'd never really pictured Kurt as the type that would want kids. But with their talk of marriage and cars and houses…surely they could talk about kids, too…right? It was the logical next step.

"Do you want kids?"

The words were out before he'd really had a chance to think about it, but Kurt was just smiling like it was the most normal thing in the world to talk about. "Yes. Someday. Not a lot, but I think two would be nice. That way, they'd always have the other to play with. It gets kind of lonely being an only child."

"You have Finn."

"I got Finn when I was sixteen. Not exactly the same thing."

"Point taken."

Hmm. So Kurt wanted two kids. Kurt wanted to marry Blaine, and look for cars with Blaine, and look for a house with Blaine, and have two kids…with Blaine. Kids were never something he'd put much thought into, but with Kurt, it sounded nice.

"Do _you_ want kids?" Kurt asked, turning Blaine's own question on him.

He paused, pondering for just a second longer, before deciding, "Yes. Yeah, I want kids. It wasn't really something I had put a lot of thought into before, but now that you've got the idea in my head, I like it."

Kurt's face lit up like Blaine had just told him he bought him the entire _Vogue _magazine company for Christmas. It was that look that he did, _love_, but amplified by a thousand.

"I like it, too."

Yet again, Blaine was out of words, so he continued the song.

_And all along I believed_

_I would find you_

_Time has brought_

_Your heart to me_

_I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you_

_For a thousand more_

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Blaine's. "I love your voice."

"I love _you._"

"Yeah, that too."

They would have stayed like that forever if it were up to them. Just lying together, so close that they could hardly tell whose legs were whose, heartbeats synchronized, eyes closed, foreheads together, just _existing_ together.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and just when Blaine thought he might drift back off to sleep, Laurel was knocking on the door.

"Wake up, little lovebirds," she sing-songed through the door.

Blaine groaned and pulled away just a little, enough so that he could peer at the door. "We're awake. And you can come in."

Laurel stepped into the room like she thought she'd come in to find them having a wild orgy with 15 people and goats.

"Relax, Laur," Blaine sighed. "We're fully clothed."

Usually, Blaine just slept in his boxers, but when he and Kurt slept together, he forced himself to actually wear pajama pants and an old t-shirt. He and Kurt just weren't to the point yet where boxers were an acceptable complete ensemble.

Kurt, it seemed, _had _fallen back to sleep, and was nestling his head into Blaine's chest. Blaine looked down at the movement and smiled. "Okay, well, I'm awake. This one fell back asleep, apparently."

"Yeah, yeah. You are aware that it's almost noon, right?"

"I have a clock directly next to my bed." Laurel raised an eyebrow and Blaine's tone of voice so he amended, "Yes, I know it's almost noon."

"Then, up you go. You and Kurt need to do something more today than just lie in bed fighting over who loves who more and whose eyes are dreamier and who has the best ass."

"There's no argument there; Blaine's ass wins every time," Kurt murmured, smirking.

Blaine nudged him. "You little sneak. You are awake."

"Barely. If Laurel has any hope of us getting out of this bed today, she'd better come make me get up herself, because we both know _you're _not going to do it."

"Mmm, that's because I like this just as much as you do."

"You two are sickening," Laurel said, starting towards the bed. "But your wish is my command, dear Kurtie." With that, she grabbed the covers and yanked them off of the pair on the bed.

Kurt squeaked, his arms wrapping around Blaine and his legs instinctively shooting up into the fetal position. That would have been adorable, had his knee not popped up right into Blaine's crotch.

That was the first time Blaine ever wanted to kill Kurt.

"_Fuck_," he moaned, turning over and curling into his own fetal position.

Blaine was groaning and writhing in agony while Laurel chuckled from the other side of the bed. "That sucks. Your fault for sharing your bed with him, though. I'm leaving now. My work here is done and I don't want to be here when Kurt goes to kiss it and make it better."

Her comment went ignored by both Kurt and Blaine; Blaine was too busy dying and Kurt was too busy fussing over his dying boyfriend.

"I am _so _sorry, Blaine. Tell me what I can do. What can I do? Oh my god, I can't believe I did that."

Blaine shook his head, but other than that decided it was best not to move. "It's okay, Kurt. It was an accident." He grabbed one of Kurt's hands that were cautiously placed on his shoulder and waist and squeezed, a reassurance. "Is it just me, or is Laurel getting more and more annoying these days?"

"She's basically your older sister; it's the law that she annoys you. Finn annoys me on a daily basis."

"She was never like that before."

Kurt paused, and Blaine could sense he was about to say something he wasn't sure about. "Maybe…Maybe it's because before, she was worried about…about how you might take it. She didn't want you to do anything…you know…that might set you off…but now that she sees your happy, and okay, she's decided you're just fine for her to fulfill her annoying older sister duties."

He could feel Kurt holding his breath behind him, like he wasn't sure how Blaine was going to react, and it kind of stung a little. He brushed it off, though, and simply said, "She's my cousin."

He opened one eye to see Kurt visibly relax. "Yes, but she's practically your sister. Are you better now?"

Blaine rolled over gently and offered Kurt a small smile. "Better than before? Yes. But I think Laurel was right. You should probably kiss it and make it better."

Kurt's eyes widened, but he recovered quickly and smacked Blaine on the arm before scooting back and standing up from the bed. "I would have gone for that a couple weeks ago, but _you _said we had to take it slow, so I don't think so."

Blaine would have come up with a witty retort if Kurt hadn't just basically said he would have given Blaine a blowjob a couple weeks ago. Now, his hormones were taking over and all he could think about was Kurt giving him a blowjob, which was not the thing to think about right now, especially when he was still so sensitive in the place most affected by thoughts such as these.

"How about you stop teasing me and go get dressed, huh?" Blaine asked, sitting up.

Kurt considered for a moment before nodding. "Fine. But since everyone seems so adamant about us going out today, and to make up for what I just did to you, I'm taking you out tonight."

"Oh, yeah? Where?"

"Scandals," Kurt said, smirking.

Blaine knew what Scandals was. Heck, he'd been there a couple times in high school with some of the guys from the Warblers. He was also very aware, however, of how alcohol affected him. And it wasn't pretty.

"Kurt…"

"Before you say no, don't."

He cocked an eyebrow. "That's your best argument?"

"It's all the argument I need."

"How do you figure that?"

Really, Blaine regretted asking right after he'd said it, because Kurt was doing that face that he could never say no to, and it just wasn't fair. Kurt knew exactly what that face did to him and he was downright playing dirty. And Blaine could think of better uses for Kurt's affinity for playing dirty.

Knowing he'd won, Kurt smirked again and opened the drawer of clothes they'd set aside in Blaine's dresser for him, pulling out an outfit he deemed appropriate for the day.

"I'm going to get dressed, and then you're going to get dressed, and then we're going to go to the mall and get super hot gay bar outfits, and then we're going to get dinner, and then we're going to Scandals. Okay?"

Blaine sighed, once again regretting the word the second it left his lips. "Okay."

This was not going to end well.

…

The music was loud, pumping, and Blaine could feel the bass reverberate through his body before they'd even opened the door. Kurt seemed nonplussed; he pulled the door open with a flourish and strutted his way down the hallway to the bored looking bouncer sitting on a stool.

Upon closer inspection, Blaine decided the bouncer wasn't bored, he just hated his life. A year ago, Blaine would have been able to relate. Now, despite the fact that he had been dragged to the last place on earth he wanted to be, he loved his life, because it was his soulmate who had dragged him here; Blaine would let Kurt drag him to hell and back.

Eeyore (Blaine's chosen nickname for the bouncer) glanced at their fake IDs, then sighed. "Have fun."

Kurt jumped up a little and squealed in excitement before latching onto Blaine's hand and tugging him towards the bar.

"Kurt, I think you're being a bit obvious. I don't think someone who's old enough to be here would bounce on their toes and squeal just because they were allowed in."

After ordering their drinks, Kurt through a pout at Blaine and lightly smacked his arm. "Be nice, you. I know you're secretly excited to be here, too."

Blaine rolled his eyes, slipping his arm around Kurt's waist as they stood at the bar and took the drinks set in front of them. Blaine sniffed his before taking an experimental sip.

"Oh, please. Like you've never had alcohol," Kurt scoffed, taking a nice big gulp of his own concoction. It had so many colors Blaine honestly had no idea what it was called or what was in it.

"I've had alcohol before," Blaine said tightly, without elaboration.

This earned a strange look from Kurt. "What?"

Blaine shook his head. "Nothing. It's fine." He forced himself to take a sip and quelled the urge to make a face.

Kurt smiled and downed the rest of his drink, ordering another. Blaine never would have pegged Kurt as the type to go get drunk at a gay bar, but then again, Kurt was always defying people's expectations of him. Really, Blaine should have learned to expect the unexpected by now.

There was a momentary lapse where one song ended and another began, and then Kurt was jumping again and looking at Blaine with this adorable excited grin.

"I love this song! Blaine, you have to dance with me!"

Blaine groaned, downing his drink in a spontaneous act of stupidity and followed Kurt to the dance floor.

As it turns out, dancing with his boyfriend is not the chore Blaine had imagined it to be. He was a lightweight, and Kurt had already gotten them more drinks putting them both at 3, and once he'd gotten loose enough he was open to drinking more, so Blaine ended up downing about 5 of those weird drinks Kurt had ordered for him. He also had no idea what was even in his drinks, he trusted Kurt enough to let him order him whatever, so he had no clue how strong they were. In conclusion, Blaine was feeling pretty drunk.

All he knew was that the music was coursing through his veins and his boyfriend was dancing on him, Kurt's back to Blaine's front; his hands were on Kurt's hips, pulling them close together and keeping them moving together. Blaine leaned forward and started kissing Kurt's neck, putting his lips on any and all skin that he could find. Kurt tilted his head to stretch his neck out for Blaine and lifted his arms to thread his fingers through Blaine's curls.

It was all too much. If Blaine had it his way, he would have started ripping the clothes off of Kurt and himself right then and there; but they were new clothes, and he knew Kurt put a lot of time and effort into picking out these outfits, and he couldn't ruin all of his boyfriend's hard work. Oh, and they were in public. There was that too.

Blaine pulled away, panting, and Kurt turned to look at him questioningly.

"I need…I need a second, okay? I'm just gonna go sit at the bar for a few minutes." He had to practically shout to be heard over the music, but Kurt nodded.

"I'll come with you. We could both use a little time to…cool down, for a second."

Blaine was reveling in the fact that he was not alone in how completely turned on he was right now when he noticed Kurt stop short as soon as he'd started walking to the bar.

"What? What is it?"

Kurt just pointed, and Blaine followed his finger to a burly looking guy their age sitting at the bar. Then, Kurt uttered the one word that made Blaine want to puke, and not because of the alcohol.

"Karofsky."

The name sent shivers down his spine, and before he even really knew what he was doing, he was standing right in front of the bully himself, Kurt right behind him, warning. "Blaine, don't."

Karofsky looked thrown off, but caught himself quickly enough and threw a sneer his way. "Who's this, Hummel? Your butt buddy for the night?"

"How can you possibly make fun of me for being gay while you're in a gay bar, David?" Kurt asked, trying to force nonchalance. It wasn't working.

Karofsky's face immediately fell and suddenly he looked…remorseful. "Sorry. Old habits die hard, ya know?"

Blaine was getting whiplash from this guy's actions and he'd only known him for a minute.

"Whatever. In answer to your question, no, this is not my 'butt buddy for the night.' This is Blaine, my boyfriend."

Karofsky was saying something, but Blaine didn't hear it. He couldn't hear anything. Suddenly, the music stopped, the chattering stopped, everything stopped. All he could hear, all he could see, was his mind's image of this guy forcing himself on Kurt. Shoving Kurt against the wall, scaring him, _kissing him_, and it was all so wrong. How could Kurt just stand here and talk to this guy like nothing had ever happened?

Apparently, Blaine had voiced that last question out loud, as Kurt turned to him, awestruck. "_Blaine_."

"No," he said, anger boiling in side of him, turning back on all of the noise around them and amplifying it. This morning, everything had been _legato _and _piano_, and now it was _staccato _and _forte_, growing to _fortissimo _and _fortississimo _with every passing second. "Really, Kurt. This guy assaulted you!"

Karofsky looked too shocked to say anything, but tried anyway, failing miserably. "What? No! I—Kurt, you—I didn't! I mean—that was years ago! I'm not—"

"Not what?" Blaine asked, rounding on the person causing all of the problems. "You're not a bully? You didn't throw slushies in his face every day? Didn't toss him in the dumpsters like garbage? Didn't throw him against the lockers like his body was _nothing_? Like _he _was _nothing_?"

It was the alcohol talking, and Blaine knew that, but he couldn't stop. This is why he didn't drink. He knew better. When he drank, the alcohol washed him away to that place he never wanted to go to but always seemed to find himself in when he was under the influence.

"Blaine—" Kurt tried to stop him, but he was just so _furious_ at this guy, there was no stopping him.

So he continued like Kurt had never interrupted him. "You didn't pin him up against the lockers in the locker room when no one was looking and _force_ yourself on him?"

All of the blood drained from Karofsky's face. "It wasn't like that!"

And Karofsky denying it, when you could read it all over his face that it was _exactly_ like that, just sent Blaine over the edge. Before he even knew what he was doing, Blaine hauled his arm back and punched Karofsky in the face.

Karofsky fell off of the stool and onto the ground, and it was too easy; Blaine just got right on top of him and continued hitting him. Every punch was like repayment for every mean thing he'd ever done to Kurt. All the stinging eyes from slushies, all the bruises from locker shoves, all the cuts and bruises from dumpster tosses, it was all being thrown back in this fucking poor excuse for a man's face with every hit, and it felt _good._

"_Blaine? _What the hell?"

Except, that wasn't Kurt's voice. It was the voice of someone Blaine never thought he'd see again. The sound made him stop cold, even before he was being pulled off and thrust aside to stand next to Kurt, who looked…terrified.

Blaine took a step towards Kurt to comfort him, but Kurt took a step back and flinched like Blaine was going to hit him too.

That hurt.

Before he had a chance to say something, the bartender was telling them all to get out before he called the cops. They headed out to the parking lot, Blaine's old friend helping Karofsky. Once they were outside, though, things picked up right where they left off.

"What the fuck, man? I thought you were past this," the newcomer said, sitting Karofsky down on a bench.

Blaine scowled. "Yeah, me too. I guess seeing the guy who used to beat up my boyfriend, and _sexually assaulted _him, just kinda got to me. My bad."

"Well, right now your boyfriend seems just as scared of you as he probably used to be of _my _boyfriend."

For the first time since punches had been thrown, Kurt spoke. "Wait, _Karofsky and Trevor_?"

The name had both Blaine and the new guy dropping everything, staring at Kurt. Blaine was too shocked to say anything, but his friend wasn't.

"I'm sorry? Blaine, your boyfriend thinks I'm _Trevor_? No, wait, further back, your boyfriend knows who Trevor is? He must be really special if you told him about all that shit. Scratch that, he must be really special if he didn't _run the hell away_ when you told him about all that shit. I'm surprised he's not already gone after watching you wail on Dave."

"If you're not Trevor, then who the fuck are you?" Kurt asked, ignoring all the stupid stuff the guy was saying.

He held his hand out to Kurt, who looked at it with distaste and took a step back. The guy shrugged.

Blaine sighed. "Kurt, this is Michael."

Kurt frowned like he was trying to remember, then his face smoothed out in realization. Once he made the connection, though, he got just as angry as Blaine. "Oh, so I can't stand there and talk to Karofsky, but you can talk to Michael? Or did you forget what _he _did to _you_?"

Before Blaine could say anything, Michael cut in. "Excuse me? What _I _did? Clearly Blaine didn't give you the whole story."

"Oh, he did," Kurt said, stepping forward slowly to be directly in front of Michael. "He told me everything. Including the part where you two were friends and you stole his boyfriend."

Blaine flinched, all anger drained from him. Now he was just exhausted, and watching Kurt with Michael just felt…wrong. He never wanted these two parts of his life to mix. Kurt was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and seeing him interact with a part of the worst thing that had ever happened to him made his stomache churn. Or maybe that was the alcohol finally coming back to bite him in the ass.

"Yeah? He tell you the part where he beat up his boyfriend _again_ and punched me in the face when he found out about it? Look, Kurt, you seem like a nice kid, so I'm gonna give you some advice: Run. Run fast. Get away from that fucking lunatic before it's too late and he beats the shit out of you too."

Kurt got even closer to Michael until their noses were practically touching. "You listen to me, and you listen _very closely_, got it? Blaine is _not _a bad person. In fact, I would even say he's a better person than _you._ That much is evident from the fact that you're holding something over Blaine's head that happened 3 years ago. I'm not going anywhere. Because, you see that beautiful, broken boy behind me? Yeah, you're part of the reason he's broken. Unlike you, however, I see him for what he really is; and that is the most amazing, loving, compassionate person I have ever met. He's just had to deal with a lot of shitty people in his life, like his parents, and Trevor, and _you. _Don't worry, though, he has me now. I love him, and he loves me, and he would never lay a hand on me."

Michael laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. "Yeah, that's what you think now. Just you wait. One of these days, you'll forget to buy some milk on the way home from work, and he'll flip his shit and slap you across the face."

Blaine was overwhelmed with just how right Michael was, and that paired with his alcohol consumption being more than his tolerance, had him running over to the bushes and throwing up.

A warm hand fell on his back and another one brushed his curls out of his eyes. He felt a gentle kiss being pressed to his temple and recoiled.

"Don't touch me. He's right."

Kurt ignored him and rubbed his back. "No he's not. He doesn't know anything. He hasn't seen you in 3 years. He doesn't know who you are anymore."

Blaine coughed, spitting out the last remnants of puke and wiping his mouth. "Neither do I."

Kurt opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Michael calling out, "Nice seeing you, Anderson! Remember what I said, Kurt!"

"You sure know how to pick 'em, Hummel!" Karofsky added, then winced in pain.

Kurt scowled. "Right back at you, Karofsky!" He turned back to Blaine and sighed. "Such a shame. For a second, I thought Dave might have changed just the tiniest bit."

"Yeah, well, he's not exactly keeping the right company to rehabilitate him."

Blaine collapsed fell back onto the ground from his crouching position, pulling his knees up to his chest. He felt awful, and not just from getting sick from the alcohol.

"Come on," Kurt said, standing up and extending a hand. "I'll take us back to your place."

"You shouldn't be driving. You were drinking tonight."

"Yeah, and I sobered up the second you started punching Karofsky. You, however, seem to still be drunk since you're being so irrational right now, so I'm driving. Now let's go."

Blaine looked up at him and sighed, digging his nails into his arms. "Go without me. You shouldn't be around me right now. It's not safe."

Kurt's face softened at that, and he knelt down beside Blaine to look into his eyes. "Like hell it's not. I meant what I said to Michael. You wouldn't lay a hand on me and we both know it." Kurt reached a hand out to Blaine's face, but Blaine pushed him away and stood up, taking a few steps away.

"Don't touch me," he repeated, voice low and dangerous.

He was getting angry again, he knew that. It was irrational. Kurt was only trying to help. Kurt was being the best boyfriend in the world right now, and all he was doing was pushing him away and being a dick. He knew all of this. But that was the problem. Kurt was beautiful and perfect and understanding and kind and empathetic and he couldn't stand the thought of hitting him. He couldn't. And Michael was right; if they stayed together like they kept talking about, Blaine would end up getting mad over nothing and flipping out. It was just the way he was.

"Fine, I won't touch you. But let's go. We can't stay out in this parking lot all night, and it's almost 1 o'clock in the morning."

"Go to your house," Blaine finally said. "If we go back to Laurel this late stinking of alcohol she's gonna have a fit."

Kurt nodded, so Blaine went to the car and got into the passenger seat. Kurt slid in a moment later and turned the car on, pulling out of the parking lot silently. He reached over and turned on the radio, flipping until he found a song he liked. Blaine changed it.

"I liked that song," Kurt said softly, sounding dejected.

"Well, I didn't," Blaine snapped.

Kurt gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles turning white. Then, he turned the radio back to what he had it on. "Too bad. I like this song and you're going to listen to it because you're my boyfriend and you'll do things you don't always like for me because you love me."

Instead of replying with words, Blaine changed the station again.

Kurt shot a look at Blaine when they came to a red light. "If this is your idea of testing me, it's not going to work. I'm not Trevor. I'm not going to fight you over a radio station. You're more important to me than a stupid song. And you can huff and puff and throw your little fit over there, that's fine, but you're not going to take it out on me, okay? I get that you're upset, but it's not me you're upset with, and I would appreciate it if you weren't so rude to me when I just defended you to the person you're really upset with."

Fuck. Kurt was right. Why was Kurt always right about everything? It was starting to get ridiculous. It just wasn't fair. Eventually, Blaine would have to be right about something, wouldn't he? It was just the way it worked. Life was balanced. And what if the thing Blaine was right about was that eventually, inevitably, he would hurt Kurt? Suddenly, Kurt being right all the time didn't seem all that bad.

After what was probably only about 20 minutes, but to Blaine felt like a thousand, they arrived back at Kurt's house. Without saying a word to each other, they got out of the car and went to the house. True to his word, Kurt didn't touch him once.

Unsurprisingly, Burt was on the couch waiting up for Kurt. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion when he saw Blaine.

"Kurt, I know we said you control your own life now, but would it have killed you to tell me you weren't going to be home until almost 2am?"

"Sorry, Dad. Blaine and I ran into some old…friends."

Burt pushed off the couch and crossed the room to scrutinize them. "Old friends?"

"Yep."

"And where were you?"

"What was that you said about me controlling my own life? I thought I didn't have to run all of my plans by you anymore."

"When you come in my house with your boyfriend looking like someone just ran him over and you both reeking of alcohol at 2 in the morning that goes out the window."

"Can't this wait until the morning? You see how Blaine is; you just said he looks like someone ran him over. How about we all go to sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning?"

"I punched Karofsky in the face," Blaine interrupted. He was tired of hearing Kurt lie to his dad and treat him like crap. At least he had a dad. "Several times."

Burt narrowed his eyes at Kurt. "Old friends, huh? I seem to remember your relationship with Karofsky a little differently from that, kid."

Kurt sighed. "Look, it's been a long night. I'm exhausted, Blaine's exhausted—"

"I'm fine," Blaine snapped.

Kurt copied his father's facial expression, aiming it at Blaine. "_Blaine's exhausted_," he repeated, "and I'd like to just go to sleep. I promise I will tell you all about it tomorrow morning. Okay?"

"_I _saw an old friend. We were friends in high school before he stole my boyfriend."

"Blaine," Kurt warned, still not touching him but giving him a look that clearly said _shut up._

Blaine didn't care, though. He was on a roll. He was still drunk, and the alcohol paired with the adrenaline, his state of mind at the time thought it would be a good idea to just start revealing all of his biggest secrets to his boyfriend's dad.

"I caught them making out. I punched him in the face, too. After I beat up my boyfriend. I used to do that a lot, you know? I used to just wail on him. One time it was because I got mad at him for changing the radio station in his car."

"I think that's enough, Blaine," Kurt said through gritted teeth.

"One time I fractured his wrist. Cool, huh? I didn't think I would have been strong enough, you know, because he was bigger than me. But Karofsky was bigger than me too and I got him good. That's when that old friend of mine showed up. He was fun, wasn't he, Kurt?"

Kurt was still resisting the urge to touch him, but Burt, who had no idea that he wasn't supposed to touch Blaine, said, "I think you're right, Kurt. Take him upstairs and go to bed. We'll talk in the morning." Then he reached a hand out and touched Blaine on the shoulder.

Immediately, Blaine jumped back and yelled, "Don't touch me!"

His sudden outburst woke Finn up, who appeared at the top of the stairs, rubbing his eyes. "Dude, what the hell? I'm trying to sleep."

"No, really? I thought you were baking a fucking cake in your bedroom at 2 in the fucking morning," Blaine spat.

Finn stopped his descent down the stairs. "Whoa. Kurt, your boyfriend is being a douche."

"Maybe you're just being an idiot. That wouldn't really be different from every other day for you, though, would it?"

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry, Finn. He's drunk. He doesn't know what he's saying."

That was it. That was the one thing that sent Blaine over the edge.

"I know exactly what I'm saying! Stop making excuses for me! You keep trying to defend that perfect image of me you've conjured up in your head, making up bullshit excuses for every time I act the way the Blaine in your head never would, but open your eyes, Kurt! I'm not that guy! I tried telling you before and you just don't _listen! _You didn't listen to Michael and you're not listening to me! Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?"

"Surely not as frustrating as dealing with a belligerent drunk. Now let's get you upstairs so I can put you to bed and I won't have to deal with you until you wake up in the morning and apologize profusely for your wildly inappropriate behavior." Kurt pointed up the stairs, still not touching Blaine.

"I'm not a child; you don't need to put me to bed. And I'm not apologizing for anything. You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to say 'I'm sorry' for this."

"And you're out of your mind if you think I'm going to let you get away with not apologizing to me after the way you're treating me tonight. Go up the fucking stairs, Blaine Anderson. We're going to bed. Now."

Kurt stuck his hand on his hip and quirked an eyebrow, daring Blaine to defy him.

Blaine, in all honesty, was actually really tired. And after all of this fighting, he was getting even more tired by the second. All he wanted to do was sleep. He just didn't want to admit that and look like he was doing what Kurt told him to do. He was his own person. He didn't have to listen to Kurt. Then again, Kurt was kind of scary like this. Last time Blaine had lashed out at him, Kurt kind of curled into himself and became really submissive and apologetic. This time, Kurt was having none of it. He was being firm without once laying a hand on Blaine.

And for that reason, and that reason alone, Blaine did as he was told and went upstairs. He passed Finn without a word, walking around him instead of running into him, and collapsed onto Kurt's bed. He thought he heard Kurt and Burt's voices downstairs, and the sound of Finn returning to his room, but he was really just too wiped out to care.

Kurt came in a few minutes later. They didn't say anything to each other. Kurt changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Blaine, careful to not let their bodies touch.

After a couple minutes, Blaine was out like a light.

…

The second Blaine woke up, he wished he hadn't. His head felt like a thousand men were standing around and just hammering away at his skull. He groaned and rolled over, pulling the pillow on top of his head. The pillow that wasn't his. In the bed that wasn't his.

"Where am I?" he moaned.

"My house." He knew that voice. He lifted the pillow the tiniest bit to peer up at his boyfriend who was holding out pills and a bottle of water. "Here."

Blaine threw the pillow back over his head, ignoring the offering. "I don't even feel well enough to take those."

He heard Kurt sigh and felt the bed sag with a weight beside him. "Just take them, Blaine. You'll need them to deal with my dad."

He groaned again and curled up into the fetal position, wrapping his arms around himself. Kurt took that opportunity to gingerly lift the pillow off his head.

Blaine blinked up at him. "Why do I need to deal with your dad?" And just like that, he remembered. It all came back to him, the whole night. The bar, the drinks, the dancing, Karofsky, Michael, Burt, Finn. It all came swimming back to him like one big fucking nightmare. "Fuck, don't answer that." He also remembered the way he treated Kurt and cringed. "Why are you being so nice to me? I was a dick last night."

Kurt sighed again, brushing the curls away from Blaine's forehead like he had when Blaine was throwing up. "Because I was the one that got you drunk. And because you're going to apologize to me profusely and spend the rest of our lives making it up to me."

"I don't remember that last part being included in the deal."

"I threw it in. I think I have that power, don't you?"

Blaine nodded, then cringed because okay moving your head when you have a pounding headache is not the best idea, and said, "Yeah."

Kurt patted Blaine's hip and stood up. "Good. Take the Advil. Drink the water. My dad's been waiting for hours for you to wake up. Last night his plan was to come shout in your ear at 6am as a wake-up call, but I talked him out of that. You're welcome."

"Thank you," Blaine said, and he'd never meant it more than he did just then.

He sat up slowly, grabbed the pills off of the bedside table and chased them down with the water bottle. He downed the whole thing at once and screwed the cap back on, throwing it at the trash can across the room. It missed.

"You better pick that up," Kurt commanded. "I won't have you littering my floor on top of everything else. That is where I draw the line."

Blaine almost cracked a smile. Almost.

He got up from the bed and winced when he realized that he was still in his clothes from last night and they were disgusting.

Kurt caught his facial expression. "Yeah. One of the things you're going to do to make last night up to me will be washing my sheets. They're disgusting now because of you. But before all that, why don't you get some of your clothes out of your drawer and take a shower? I'll tell my dad you're up and make you some toast."

He couldn't take it. He just couldn't.

He reached out to grab Kurt's wrist as he started to make his way out of the room. "Kurt, wait."

Kurt turned around and looked at him. "What?"

"You don't have to do all of this. After everything I did last night, you should have let your dad come shout at me at 6 this morning. You should have given me some kind of poison instead of Advil. You should be kicking me out right now."

"But I'm not. So take a shower and meet me downstairs, okay?"

Blaine sighed but nodded. "Okay."

Kurt squeezed his hand before letting go and heading downstairs.

To say Blaine was mortified would be the understatement of the year. The whole time he was getting his clothes and taking a shower and getting dressed, he was reliving everything he did and said last night, making him physically ill. He threw up in the shower, watching it swirl down the drain with the rest of the filth from his body. He felt disgusting. How could he treat another human being like that? How could he treat _Kurt_ like that? And how the _fuck _could Kurt just be so goddamn nice to him in spite of it? Blaine knew without a doubt that Kurt's father would not be so understanding. This talk with Mr. Hummel would turn out exactly the same way his last conversation with his own father did, Blaine was certain of that. He'd end up kicked in the stomache and thrown out of the house. And why shouldn't he be?

After a good hour, Blaine finally forced himself to man up and face the music. He headed downstairs, head still killing him, and the second he appeared in the kitchen doorway everyone stopped. All the talking, all the movement, it just died. Blaine's presence sucked the life out of the room.

Burt gestured to Blaine's customary chair at the table. "Have a seat, Blaine; Kurt made toast and Carole's making eggs, though I have a feeling your stomache might not like those too much."

Well. That was unexpected.

Burt was sitting in his chair, eating what looked like a bowl of shit but was probably oatmeal; Finn was sitting in his chair, wolfing down a giant bowl of Lucky Charms and most likely waiting on a nice heaping of eggs, too; Carole was, of course, at the stove making eggs; Kurt was standing in front of the refrigerator, pulling out the tub of what he deemed to be "healthy butter."

"How are you feeling this morning, hon?" Carole asked.

It took Blaine a moment to realize that she was directing the question at him.

"Um…much better…thank you."

He didn't want to tell her about his headache. He deserved to suffer in silence.

Blaine looked over and realized that Finn was staring at him like he thought he was going to jump across the table and strangle him, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you last night, Finn. I was out of line."

Finn turned around to look at Kurt, who gave him a look that said _I told you so_, then turned back to Blaine. "It's cool, dude. Just don't get drunk anymore. You were kind of mean."

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm never touching alcohol again."

Burt snorted from behind his newspaper, but said nothing.

Kurt came over and set a plate of buttered toast and another bottle of water down in front of Blaine, kissing him on top of his head. "There. Eat up. You'll feel better." Then, Kurt settled into his own seat beside Blaine and nursed a mug of coffee.

It felt…surreal. Everyone was treating him like nothing had happened. He felt like he'd just walked into an episode of _The Brady Bunch_.

He took a bite of toast and a swig of water, then set it down and eyed the room suspiciously. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but why are you all being so nice to me right now?"

Kurt sighed. "Blaine, I already told you—"

"Not you," Blaine cut in softly. "You love me. I don't understand why right now, but apparently last night hasn't changed that. The rest of you don't have that excuse. You're Kurt's family, not mine. You should all be attacking me for the way I treated him last night, the way I treated you, Mr. Hummel, and you, Finn."

"I was asleep, so I can still like you, right?" Carole asked, offering a small smile.

Blaine didn't return it. "I'm not making a joke," he said softly, looking down at his plate.

Burt reached out a hand and clapped Blaine on the shoulder, unafraid of touching him now. "Let's just get through breakfast first, okay?"

Blaine nodded. "Okay."

So they did. Finn did, in fact, eat a good heaping of eggs. Carole had a more reasonable amount, as did Burt. When Burt tried to sneak some salt, Kurt took it and gave it to Blaine to hold throughout breakfast so Burt wouldn't use it. As soon as Finn finished, he rinsed out his dishes, put them in the dishwasher, and headed out to hang out with Rachel.

With Finn out of the house and everyone basically done eating, there was no more putting it off; it was time for them to talk about last night.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said before anyone else could say anything. "I apologized to Finn but not to anyone else, and I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, Mrs. Hummel, even though you were asleep. And to you, Mr. Hummel, because I was so far out of line with everything I was saying. I…I shouldn't have said any of that. And Kurt, _God_, I am _so freaking sorry._ I treated you worse than Karofsky ever did—"

"Don't say that," Kurt murmured, touching his arm.

"But it's true. I did. And I'm sorry. There's no way I'll ever be able to make it up to you guys. I…I'm honestly shocked you didn't put poison in my food."

Burt looked affronted. "You were rude, Blaine, but we're not going to cause you bodily harm. That's a little extreme, don't you think?"

Blaine thought back to when his own father had caused him bodily harm and been happy about it. "No," he said, swinging his water bottle around the table top in a circular motion.

Carole stood up. "I'm just going to get started on cleaning the dishes. You boys talk."

Burt caught her wrist. "Stop. You clean the kitchen all the time. Let me do it. You go sit and watch your shows, I'll clean up after we talk, alright?"

"Okay." Carole smiled and leaned down to kiss him before heading into the living room.

With Carole gone, Burt turned back to Blaine. "Alright, Blaine. Now you said a lot of stuff last night I'm sure you didn't want me to hear." Blaine cringed, knowing exactly what he said. "But now I know and you're not getting out of it. So just start at the beginning."

"Dad, it took Blaine hours to give me the entire story."

"I don't need all the little details. Just tell me what happened. Who's that old friend you ran into last night?"

"Michael," Blaine started. The absolute last thing he wanted was to tell the Trevor Incident to Kurt's dad. But he'd already basically told him last night, and there was no going back now. "He was a friend of mine in high school, my freshman year. There was a guy named Trevor I was dating at the time, and things were good until…well, until they weren't. Long story short, we started fighting a lot, but the fights would turn physical."

"This happened a lot, the physical violence between the two of you?" Mr. Hummel asked.

"Yes, sir…At least once a week. Eventually, I guess Trevor just got tired of it and looked somewhere else. I caught him and Michael together and just…flipped. I hit Trevor until he pushed me off and then I punched Michael in the face. I never saw either of them after that, until last night, when Michael showed up at…"

Blaine trailed off and looked to Kurt for confirmation that it was okay to tell his dad where they were last night.

Kurt took over from there. "Scandals. We went to Scandals last night, the gay bar. Karofsky was there, and apparently Blaine is an angry drunk, because he just lashed out at him. Michael came and that stopped Blaine pretty quickly. We had to take it outside, and Michael got in our faces, and then they left. So I brought Blaine here. And…well, you were there. You know what happened."

Burt was staring hard at them, looking simultaneously like he wanted to punch someone in the face and wanted to give Blaine a hug, which Blaine found to be odd.

"Blaine, last night you said Kurt didn't listen and he was making excuses for you. What'd you mean by that?"

Blaine suddenly felt really tired again, and his headache amplified, and all he wanted to do was roll over and die. Kurt placed a comforting hand on his knee.

"Dad, let's not get into that."

"No, Kurt, it's fine," Blaine sighed. "Your dad deserves to know. After everything I did last night…Look, sir, I'm not a very good person, as you saw last night. That's why my parents kicked me out, that's why Trevor cheated on me; I've tried on several occasions to warn Kurt, but he's pretty insistent that he's going to be the one to show me I'm not a bad person."

"And you don't believe him," Burt stated.

It wasn't a question, but Blaine answered anyway. "No, I don't."

Burt exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, kid, I'm gonna tell you something I think you've already figured out by now. Kurt's always right. I hate it, and I'm sure you do too, but it's true. So, if he says you're not a bad person, you're not a bad person."

Blaine was starting to get really frustrated with everyone telling him that he wasn't a bad person. Why couldn't they see him the way he saw himself? If his behavior last night wasn't enough to convince them enough, what would he have to do to show them that?

"Stop," Kurt reprimanded. Blaine looked up at Kurt. "I know what you're thinking. Stop it. Listen to my dad."

"I can see it in your eyes, Blaine." Burt continued. "I can see all that hurt. You may not know this, but kid, your emotions read straight across in your eyes. I can feel the way you're just waiting for me to treat you like your own parents did, because you think that's just how parents treat their kids." Ouch. Why was Kurt's dad so good at reading him? It wasn't fair. "I'm not gonna do that to you. You made a mistake last night, you made mistakes in your past. We all do that. You know how I know you've changed?"

Blaine willed his gaze to land on Burt. "How?"

"Even in the state you were in last night, you didn't once hit my son. When I reached out to touch you, instead of hitting me, you stepped back. When you passed Finn on the stairs, you pushed yourself against the wall instead of shoving his shoulder on your way up. You're not that person you were anymore, Blaine."

"I still hit Karofsky."

"Kid had it comin' to him for a long time. You don't think I went after him too? I was at the school with Kurt and that kid made fun of him right in front of me; I charged after him and pinned him up against a wall."

Blaine's eyes widened at that. He had not expected that at all. This family was the least predictable family he'd ever met in his life.

"We're guys, Blaine. It's what guys do. We get physical. Did you get out of hand when you were younger? Sure. But you're not like that now. You honestly think if I thought for even a second that you were a danger to my son I'd let you anywhere near him?"

Blaine looked down to where Kurt had laced their fingers together on his knee. He turned back to Mr. Hummel. "No, sir."

"Not a chance in hell. I'd die protecting my kid. If I thought he needed to be protected from you, you wouldn't be sitting there right now. You need to get used to people caring about you, Blaine. Not everyone is going to treat you like your parents did, or like Trevor did, or Michael, or any of those other people. When I told you you had a place here, I meant it. You were considered a part of this family the second you set foot in our house, and family sticks by each other. You said that Kurt loves you, and that's why he's allowed to be nice to you. We love you too, Blaine."

Blaine couldn't help it. He started crying. The second he heard Burt's chair screech as he stood up, he was out of his own chair, throwing himself into his boyfriend's dad's arms.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered through his tears.

Burt held him tightly. "I know."

They pulled apart and Burt took a step back. "I'm going to clean the kitchen. You two can go back upstairs."

Kurt rose from his own chair and crossed over to give his dad a hug. "Thank you, Dad," Blaine heard him whisper.

"Love you, kid," Burt replied.

Kurt stepped away and took Blaine's hand, leading them upstairs. Once in his room, Kurt shut the door behind him, and led Blaine to the bed. They cuddled on a wordless agreement, Blaine laying his head on Kurt's chest and Kurt holding him close.

"Don't think I forgot about the laundry," Kurt whispered, smoothing Blaine's hair down. "When we're done cuddling you're washing my bed linens."

In spite of everything, Blaine laughed. It was one laugh, a huff of air, really, but it was something. "Okay. I promise."

As he drifted back to sleep, he heard Kurt singing softly.

_I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you_

_For a thousand more_

**WHOA! I honestly did not mean for this to be so long. I hope you liked it though! Sorry for teasing you with fluff and then turning it into angst. It got really intense. I didn't even mean for that to happen. Seriously, that idea in the shower was just gay bar, Karofsky, Michael. Somehow….it turned into this. I really love it, though. I think it's my favourite chapter so far.**

**Tell me what you thought, though! Loved it, hated it, let me know! :)**


	17. Future

**New chapter. Not much else to say. Thanks to all of my reviewers. I love you guys. You honestly have no idea how much those mean to me.**

_August 7, 2012_

Blaine tried. He really, honest-to-God _tried_. He had always hated when he got like this, when his emotions got the better of him and he felt like there was no way out of them. He was trapped in a sadness that he had no rhyme or reason for. Now, though, it was even worse because he had Kurt. Kurt, the sweetest boyfriend in the world; Kurt, who just wanted to love him. Burt was there for him, too. And Laurel. Yet, all Blaine wanted to do was lie in bed and never get up and just drown in his own self-deprecating thoughts. After everything he'd been through, he thought that he was finally a better person. He thought that he was past these moods, the random anger and following depression. But here he was, feeling depressed after having gotten angry at the bar on Saturday night.

It just wasn't fair. If Michael hadn't reappeared, this wouldn't be happening. He would have given Karofsky what was coming to him, been kicked out of the bar, and he and Kurt would have gone home and he would have slept off the alcohol and it would have been fine. They probably still would have fought—Blaine was still an angry drunk, with or without Karofsky or Michael around—but when Michael did show up, it was like a trigger for him. All he could think about after that was his time with Trevor and Michael during freshman year; and thoughts of freshman year always brought him to thoughts of his parents.

Why was it so impossible for him to move forward in his life? All he wanted to do was forget his past and move on to his future with Kurt, perhaps even enjoy his present with Kurt. How as that too much to ask for? After everything he went through in such a short period of time, you would think that the universe would cut him a little slack. But it was like the universe was constantly throwing all the crap it put him through back in his face, and it sucked.

Maybe this was his punishment for being a bad person. The universe had tested him with his parents, and with Trevor, and his reactions to both made him deserve to have it thrown in his face all the time now. Well, maybe not his parents. He didn't do anything to deserve that. He just didn't do anything to deserve better. But Trevor was a test, and instead of being a good boyfriend and talking through things like a normal person, he just took to violence. What kind of person does that? A bad person. And bad people deserve the universe to punish them. Blaine was only getting what he deserved.

Then, why did he get Kurt? Kurt was a good person; the best person Blaine had ever met. How did someone like Blaine end up with someone like Kurt? More importantly, why was Blaine questioning it? He had a beautiful, compassionate, loving boy that stayed by his side no matter what, so why was he so intent on destroying that?

Really, with Kurt in his life, what right did Blaine have to feel like this? There were children starving, not only in Africa like those commercials want you to believe, but everywhere; there were people living on the streets; there were animals who had been beaten and abandoned; there were _people _ who had been beaten and abandoned. Blaine used to be one of them. _Used to be._ He wasn't anymore. He was in a good place now. He was with Laurel, and he had Kurt, and Kurt's family who had accepted him as their own. He had no room to feel dissatisfied with his life. He was being selfish.

Thinking that, though, just made him feel more shitty. On top of everything, he now felt guilty for feeling so completely and utterly awful about his life, despite the fact that he currently had everything he ever wanted.

"Blaine?" Laurels voice called timidly from the other side of the door. "I know…I know you don't want to get out of bed…and that's okay…but, um…Kurt's here for you."

Blaine hated to hear her voice like that again. She was tentative and had that tone where she sounded like she was talking to someone who was standing on the edge of a roof of a 60 story building ready to jump off.

He sighed. He knew that he couldn't keep Kurt away. He'd managed to evade him for a couple days already, and that was quite a feat. He left Kurt's house on Sunday with the assurance that he was fine. Then, all day yesterday, he didn't answer Kurt's texts. He chose to send one message after a while—guilt getting the best of him—saying that he wasn't feeling well, and he was sorry, but they could talk when he was feeling better. Apparently, Kurt decided that today was the day he was going to feel better.

"Send him in," Blaine was saying as the door opened and Kurt appeared.

"As if I needed your permission. It was more of a warning, just in case you were naked."

"I'm not."

Kurt's face fell from the smile he was wearing when he first entered. He thanked Laurel quietly and shut the door behind him before coming over to Blaine's bed. He knelt beside Blaine's head and brushed the curls out of his eyes. "What's the matter?"

Blaine shrugged.

The pale boy touched a gentle hand to Blaine's forehead, then frowned. "You don't seem to be running a fever. Do you have a headache? Stomachache?"

Blaine shook his head.

"Do you want me to lie with you?"

Blaine shrugged again.

The silence must have been what tipped Kurt off. Blaine could read it on his face, the pieces clicking together in his head as he remembered things Blaine had told him before.

"Blaine…You're not sick at all…are you?"

Tears sprang to his eyes, and he hated himself even more. That was answer enough for Kurt, who quickly climbed into bed beside Blaine and held him.

Kurt didn't say anything. He stroked Blaine's hair, rubbed his back, and squeezed him lightly to let him know he was there. Not once, though, did he try to say anything. No, "It's okay"s or "Don't cry"s or any attempts to quiet him. He just let him cry, and Blaine's heart just broke even more because this boy who held him like his life depended on it was just too perfect.

When he had finally cried himself out, Kurt just continued to hold him, and continued his silence. He didn't try to pry and ask him what was wrong, or what he could do to fix everything, or why he was crying. It was exactly what Blaine needed, and somehow Kurt just seemed to know that on instinct. Like he was made for this.

"Kurt," he tried, voice raw and breaking.

Immediately, Kurt placed a finger on Blaine's lips and shook his head. "Don't. I don't need you to try and tell me what's wrong. All that matters is that you're upset and I'm here for you. Okay? No explanation needed, no conversation. When you're ready, you can tell me; right now, though, you're obviously not. So you can cry and you can sleep and if you're hungry I can bring you food or if you're thirsty I can bring you water; other than that, don't worry about a thing. I'm here. Alright? I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Now that the tears were back, Blaine nodded, because that was all he had the strength to do.

…

The first thing Blaine registered when he woke again was that he had a headache now, probably from all the crying. The second thing he registered was that Kurt was no longer beside him. The third thing was Laurel's voice outside his door, no doubt talking to Kurt.

"Shit…I'm sorry you had to witness that, Kurt. I know it's not pretty."

"I was more worried than anything. Karofsky is a big guy. He could have turned the tables on that pretty quickly. He was probably just shocked that such a tiny guy like Blaine was so strong."

"Blaine's a fighter, that's for sure. That's why I hate when he gets like this. He's so much stronger than he gives himself credit for."

"Why is he like that?"

"Like what?"

"So…down on himself? It's like…"

"Like he hates himself?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure. Our family has a history of unstable emotions, depression specifically. With what Blaine's been through, he slips sometimes. There's a trigger, like seeing Michael, and suddenly his world falls apart. He hasn't been like this in a long time, though. Not since…"

"Since Trevor. I know. And he got out of that with music, right?"

"Yeah. I don't know how much that will help this time."

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to stay here until he's okay again. I don't…I don't trust him alone in there."

"You can stay as long as you want. I don't want him alone any more than you do, and I'm not exactly who he needs right now."

"Thank you, Laurel. Really."

"No, thank you. I appreciate you being here for him."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Blaine moved from lying on his stomache to curling into a fetal position. He hated being talked about like that, like he was some kind of crazy person who needed constant supervision. He could be alone. He wasn't going to kill himself. That might have been something to worry about after Trevor, but not this time. He couldn't leave Kurt.

The door creaked as someone opened and closed it, slipping into the room with an air of stealth. They were trying to be quiet, because they thought he was still sleeping. To make sure they knew better, he made a noise of what he hoped resembled something sufficient as a greeting.

New weight dipped the bed behind him, so he rolled over. Kurt was sliding in beneath the covers beside him, forcing a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Hey, there. Did you have a nice nap?"

Blaine shrugged.

"It's okay if you didn't. You were only out for about 30 minutes. That's not a very good nap. Of course, I don't know how long you were sleeping for before that, so maybe that was just the nap you needed."

Deciding an answer wasn't really required, Blaine just blinked at his boyfriend.

The lack of response made Kurt's smile slowly fade and the sadness he was trying to hide became prevalent in his eyes. "Are you hungry?"

Blaine shook his head, and when Kurt asked if he was thirsty, he negated again.

He wasn't sure if Kurt being here made him feel better or worse. On the one hand, here was his perfect boyfriend here just holding him and taking care of him and being there for him, no matter what he needed. It was nice, and made him want to talk and be happy again. On the other hand, here was his perfect boyfriend just holding him and taking care of him and being there for him, no matter what he needed. It was nice, and made him feel awful for feeling awful and made him feel like a terrible person for not immediately just getting himself together and accepting Kurt's love.

"Stop," Kurt whispered, smoothing away the wrinkles that had formed on Blaine's forehead with every thought. "You're going to give yourself wrinkles. And if whatever you're thinking of is making you frown, you shouldn't be thinking of it."

It was frustrating. Blaine didn't want to be thinking of this crap any more than Kurt wanted him to. If he could stop, he would. But it was like his thoughts had taken over his brain. He could force a smile, but it wouldn't be genuine, and it would hurt. Then again, everything hurt right now, so maybe he could try it.

He caught Kurt's eye and tried a smile.

Kurt frowned. "That was pitiful, Blaine."

Blaine reached up a hand to smooth over the wrinkles that had formed on Kurt's forehead when he frowned. _Who's getting wrinkles now?_

Kurt brought his own hand to cover Blaine's. He grabbed Blaine's hand in both of his own and guided it down to his mouth, pressing a kiss to each of his knuckles, the pad of his thumb, his palm, his wrist.

"I want to take you somewhere," Kurt murmured against his skin. "It's really important to me. I know that you don't want to get out of bed right now, but I think it could help. Do you trust me?"

He used every ounce of energy he had left to try to use his eyes to convey _With my life._

Kurt smiled softly, and Blaine knew he got the message.

"Good. I'm going to go run it by Laurel. I'll be right back to get you dressed and we can go. Okay?"

Knowing he wasn't going to get any response, Kurt threw off the covers and jumped off of the bed, heading out of the room.

_I don't need you to get me dressed. I'm not a toddler._

Blaine grumbled, kicking the covers off his legs and, with all that he had, willing himself to make the long journey over to his dresser to put on real clothes. Instead, he ended up just sitting on the edge of the bed. He was still there when Kurt swept back into the room. Assessing Blaine's position, he seemed to know exactly what had happened, and went straight for the closet.

"That's okay," he said, back to Blaine. He was reaching down to the floor of Blaine's closet, then pulled back with a pair of shoes in his hands. "You don't really need to be wearing anything fancy. You can just go in the sweats you're wearing. You do, however, need shoes, I'm afraid."

Without giving Blaine a chance to silently protest, Kurt dropped to his knees in front of him and went to work putting Blaine's shoes on for him.

Blaine made a point to avoid eye contact with Laurel as they left. Kurt said something to her, but Blaine forgot, or maybe he just wasn't really paying attention. When they reached Kurt's car, Kurt opened the passenger door for him and helped him in. Blaine buckled himself in, though, refusing to sink so low as to have his boyfriend buckle his seatbelt. He was depressed, but he refused to tread the waters into pathetic.

He had no idea where they were going; Kurt just drove, knowing exactly where he was going. After 15 minutes of silent driving—even the radio was left alone—they pulled up outside a place Blaine had never been. He stared out of the window at the tall, black gates, the grassy hills, the bouquets of flowers littering the ground left by loved ones, the tombstones.

A cemetery.

Suddenly, Blaine wanted to throw up. He knew exactly why they were there. Kurt navigated them expertly through all of the head stones, taking them on a well-worn path. He wanted to scream, to stop them. This was wrong. He couldn't visit Kurt's mother, not like this. It wasn't right.

Kurt stopped them in front of a plain, flat, rectangular head stone that lay on the ground with daffodils in a circle chain around it.

"Dad must have been here recently," Kurt said, mostly to himself, Blaine assumed.

Then, Kurt sat on the ground in front of the stone, tugging Blaine down beside him. He threw his arm around Blaine's shoulders and tugged him close.

"Hi, Mom," Kurt continued. "Sorry I haven't been here in a while. I'll come again soon, before I leave for New York. You know all about New York, though. Remember when I got my acceptance letter? You were the first one I told. Not even Dad knew before you. Don't tell him, though. He'd be mad, 'cause I always told you stuff first."

There was nothing awkward about it. Blaine had initially thought that sitting next to Kurt while he talked to his dead mother's gravestone would be really awkward, but it wasn't. It almost felt like she was really there, sitting right across from them.

"This is Blaine. I haven't had a chance to come here to tell you about him yet; he's kinda new. I met him on my first day of those college classes I told you about. I tried to be bold, like you always used to tell me, and I was the one who asked him out. It turned out great, so thanks for the advice all those years ago. It comes in handy every day, but it was especially useful that day, because now Blaine is my boyfriend, and…"

Kurt sniffled and leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder; Blaine reached a hand over to Kurt's knee, just letting it rest there. This seemed to be what Kurt needed to continue.

His voice was watery when he spoke again. "And I love him, Mom. I really, truly do. We haven't been together for that long, but you and Dad weren't together that long, and you just knew. That's how it was for me and Blaine, Mom. I love him." He sniffled again and wiped at his nose, letting the tears fall freely. It hurt Blaine more to see Kurt cry than it did to cry himself. "And he's uh…he's hurting right now. His own parents aren't there for him, and Dad has been really good at being there for him, but, um…sometimes, a guy just needs his mom. So I brought him here. You've helped me more times than I can count, and right now I really need you to help Blaine."

Without even really realizing it, Blaine was crying, too.

It would have been quite the sight, if anyone had passed by; two guys holding each other and crying in front of a grave. Then again, Blaine wondered how normal that might be at a cemetery.

Kurt nudged Blaine's head with his own, making it clear he was talking to him now. "Don't wait for some big moment where you suddenly hear my mother's voice, or she appears in front of us, or you feel some cosmic shift and your heart gets all warm and fuzzy. It doesn't work like that. Just sit and listen. Try to just clear your mind, and I know that's hard for you, but just try; for me, please. She'll help you if you just sit and listen."

So that's what Blaine did. He just sat there, curled against Kurt's side, and listened. He tried to clear his mind and get that overstimulated feeling back, where all he could do was hear the world around him and his mind couldn't focus on anything else. He listened to the crows caw and fly around, and the wind rustling the trees, and Kurt's breathing beside him. He closed his eyes and just _listened._

After a while, he opened his eyes and realized he had no idea how much time had passed. It was like he had completely zoned out. But now that he was back, he felt…different, somehow. It wasn't tangible. It wasn't something that could be explained. It was just…warm. It was like when he heard that Avril Lavigne song and just _knew_. It was the thing that clicked and made everything seem suddenly not so bleak. He was very aware of the beautiful boy who had his arm wrapped around him, protecting him from anything and everything. Kurt was right, it wasn't big. He wasn't stupid enough to believe that Kurt's mother's ghost had come and possessed him and made him better or anything weird like that. It was just…like being there, in a place full of the dead, in front of someone who didn't deserve to die when she did, made him feel more grateful for his own life.

He may not have parents, and he may have been hurt, but he had everything open to him now. Contrary to his former belief, he _had _moved past the bad things in his life. He was happy with Laurel, and he was happy with Kurt, and he was happy that he was going to New York to pursue his dreams in less than three weeks.

Blaine pulled back and looked at Kurt, tracing his face with his eyes, committing it to memory. Kurt was gazing at him with those gorgeous eyes of his, scrutinizing him.

Tentatively, Blaine tried a smile again. He didn't try to force it, he just let his lips curve upward infinitesimally, genuinely feeling like smiling when he looked at Kurt.

He saw his smile mirrored on Kurt's face. "That's much better."

Kurt made to stand up, but Blaine grasped one of Kurt's wrists and held him back down. When Kurt raised an eyebrow, questioning, Blaine spoke.

"Thank you."

Kurt's patented Look of Love spread all across his features, and it was the first step in putting Blaine back together again.

After a few moments, Kurt stood up and held a hand out to Blaine. "I love you," he said. It was an offering. The hand extended wasn't just a hand to help Blaine up; it was a hand that symbolized their entire relationship, their entire future.

Blaine placed his hand in Kurt's and allowed himself to be tugged up.

"I love you," he returned.

It wasn't fixed. He wasn't magically happy again. He wasn't just back to being himself, just like that. But it was a start. He just needed that springboard.

The feeling of Kurt's hand in his felt so right, and he knew that for the rest of his life, Kurt would be that springboard. No matter what, he would be there for Blaine. He would lay with him and hold him and cry with him.

It was one thing to discuss a future, but another thing entirely to start one, and that's exactly what he and Kurt had done that day.

**Woo. Shorter than usual. Think of this as a kind of interlude. I don't even like this chapter that much, to be honest. It's okay if you don't either.**


	18. The Party: Part One

**Okay, so in case you guys don't already know, I have this fantastic best friend named Morgan and she reads all of my chapters and she's my biggest fan and I love her to pieces. Welp, I was texting her this morning talking about how I was brainstorming ideas for this chapter, and mid-text, this whole chapter just exploded in my brain and, literally, the exact text went like this:**

"**I think I have some good ideas for next chap but idk yet oh shi-talking mushrooms I just got a fantastic idea omg omg omg it's all like blowing up in my mind as I text you crap it's good"**

**My thought process in a text message. I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, though, I hope you enjoy part one of this chapter, because it was getting so long I had to break it in two parts. Don't hate me if it sucks, I got it in the middle of my political science class.**

**Also, just FYI, I'm not on board this whole Finn-Rachel Engagement Ship, so they are not engaged in this fic. They are just in a relationship. Marriage is not on the table.**

_August 20, 2012_

"I have a proposition for you."

Blaine groaned while Kurt planted small kisses all across his neck, everywhere except for the hickey Blaine was sure Kurt had just given him.

"That's not fair. You can't keep using our…_alone time_…to suggest things you know I won't want to do."

Kurt drew a careful hand down from Blaine's neck, trailing with light fingers down his chest, his ribs, his hip, his thigh, then circled around and squeezed his ass. He leaned into Blaine's ear and rubbed his forehead against the side of Blaine's head. "Oh, yeah? Who says?"

"Me," Blaine said. He wanted to elaborate, but with everything Kurt was doing on top of him, one syllable was all he could manage.

"Well," Kurt started, drawing the hand on his behind back around and dragging his fingers under Blaine's shirt. "It's a fun thing. I promise." He kissed his way down Blaine's neck to his chest, planting soft kisses on top of Blaine's shirt. "Besides, we're leaving in less than a week, heading off to the Big Apple without so much as a second glance to all of our friends and family here. It wouldn't be right to leave without seeing them all again one last time before we all go our separate ways."

Blaine stilled, breath caught in his throat. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Kurt laid a hand on Blaine's chest and rested his chin on top of it, looking up at Blaine through his eyelashes in a way that Blaine knew he was hoping came across as cute and irresistible. "What do you think I'm suggesting?"

Closing his eyes and laying his head back, he groaned, "Kurt. No."

"Oh, come on, Blaine! It'll be fun!"

"No," he repeated, opening his eyes.

"It'll just be a small little get-together for all of our friends. I'll invite all of New Directions; you can invite all your Warbler friends. You wouldn't even really be able to call it a party! That's how small it would be!"

"Kurt, you said it yourself; we're leaving in _less than a week._ Have you even started packing?"

Kurt scoffed. "Of course I have."

"Well look around; I haven't. I need to pack, and get things set up and ready to go, confirm my flight, all of that. I don't have time to plan a party. Besides, isn't this a little short notice?"

"Not at all! We'll have it Thursday night, leaving Friday open for any last-minute packing, but giving everyone 3 days to plan. And you won't have to worry about a thing, I'll plan it all. I'll even help you pack if you're _super _nice."

"How are you going to have time to pack your own stuff, help me pack my stuff, _and _plan this party?" Blaine brought a hand to cup Kurt's cheek. "Baby, you're gonna wear yourself thin before you're even in New York."

Kurt shivered—(Blaine knew it was because he called him "baby" and did a mini-victory dance in his head)—and pulled himself up, straddling Blaine's thigh. He nudged his knee against Blaine's crotch, and, okay, maybe this party didn't sound so bad after all.

"Don't worry about me. I'm an _excellent _multi-tasker."

"As promising as that double entendre sounds, let's stay on track, hmm?"

"Fine," Kurt said, smirking. "Small get-together. This Thursday. My house. Okay? It'll be a good way for you to meet all of my friends before we all divide up. Tina and Mike are going to California, Artie, Mercedes and Puck are staying here, Sam is going back to Tennessee with his family. We're all scattering and it's important to me that my friends know and love you so that when we send them wedding invites they know who I'm marrying."

Damn. Why did Kurt have to pull the Future Card? He knew how much it made Blaine melt for them to discuss their future like that.

No. Focus.

"That's only like half the club, Kurt," he pointed out, running his hands up and down Kurt's thighs, letting them rest at his hips.

"So?"

"Well, what about the rest of them?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and huffed like this was the most exhausting question in the world for him to answer. "Okay, fine, you caught me. Finn, Rachel, Santana, Brittany and Quinn are all coming to New York, too. But New York City is huge and we'll all be far from each other and too busy to see each other, so it'll be just the same as if they were somewhere else."

"You're telling me you're never going to see your brother or your best friend who, incidentally, is also his girlfriend?"

"I…Just say yes, Blaine! It's one small party! Don't you want to see your Warbler friends? What about Wes and David, or Trent, or Nick, or Jeff?"

Blaine cocked an eyebrow. "How'd you remember all of their names? I didn't think I ever mentioned Nick or Jeff."

"Please, Blaine. I remember everything you tell me."

Blaine smiled, sitting up and bringing one of Kurt's legs around so that he was totally straddling Blaine's lap. He reached his hands around to firmly grasp Kurt's waist and bring their bodies flush against one another, leaning in and kissing him. Kurt whimpered against his mouth, his hands coming up to circle around and tug at the curls at the base of Blaine's neck. For a moment, Blaine thought he'd won, and they could move past all of this ridiculous party talk. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Not with Kurt.

"So, party?" Kurt asked, pulling back.

He sighed and dropped his head to rest against Kurt's chest, right under his collarbone. He was running out of excuses not to have the party, and he knew it, but he didn't want to tell Kurt the real reason he didn't want it. Though, with how persistent Kurt was being, it looked like he was going to have to.

"Kurt," he murmured, keeping his head down, "you're planning on inviting Puck, aren't you?"

"Well, of course. He's part of the family too, despite his delinquent tendencies."

"And what happened at the _last _party you attended with Puck present?"

There was a pause, and Blaine knew Kurt was thinking; thinking back to his junior year, a party Kurt described to him as being a total trainwreck at the home of one Rachel something. He could practically _hear _the gears turning and clicking into place in Kurt's head, and he knew the exact moment where Kurt realized why he was so skeptical of this party.

"Oh," came Kurt's soft reply. "Blaine," he slid his hands from behind Blaine's neck to his face, tilting it up to look at him. His eyes were filled with such a gentle understanding that Blaine's heart burst at how lucky he was to have someone who loved him so unconditionally. "You don't have to worry about that. I'll warn Puck when I invite him not to bring any alcohol, okay? I won't let what happened last time happen again. Although, I wish you would have told me two weeks ago _why_ you didn't want to go to Scandals, but it's behind us, and it won't be repeated; everything will be fine. The party will be one hundred percent alcohol-free. I'll even check everyone when they arrive to make sure there is absolutely no alcohol on their person if you want."

He laughed, kissing Kurt's nose. "That's a little excessive. I think just telling Puck ahead of time should be fine. None of my friends would dare bring alcohol; they've seen me drunk."

Kurt's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Wait, was that a yes? Are you agreeing to the party? Is that your consent? Don't answer that, I'm considering that your OK to have the party. No going back now, Anderson! This party is going to be _so _great, we're going to have _so _much fun, you'll see!"

Blaine groaned both at his boyfriend's excitement and because he was climbing off of him and running across the room to grab his bag. "Are you leaving?"

"I have to if I want to get started on this party planning to have it ready by Thursday."

"Are you sure you can't stay just a little bit longer?"

Kurt giggled and came back to lean over the side of the bed, touching a hand to Blaine's chest. "Aww, sweetie, you're so adorable when you're needy."

Blaine crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not needy."

"No, of course not. I don't know why I said that." Kurt winked and brought his hand to Blaine's face, brushing away the dark tendrils that fell on his forehead. "Seriously, I do need to go. I have a lot to do. And you need to call your friends and invite them. Invite as many people as you want, okay?"

"Shouldn't you at least run this by your dad before we start on inviting and planning?"

His boyfriend lowered his eyes and smiled sheepishly. "I already asked him this weekend."

"You little sneak!" Blaine gasped, grabbing Kurt's hand and slapping him lightly on top of his hand. "Do you always plan things you know I won't like then convince me to agree to them with your sex appeal?"

"Is my sex appeal really so great that I can use it to get you to agree to things on a regular basis?" Kurt asked, smirk back full-force as he climbed back on the bed, on Blaine, straddling him again. "Because that would be good information to have when our beds are in the same building."

Just as Blaine leaned forward to show his boyfriend just how impressive his sex appeal was, Kurt was scooting back and leaving him alone again.

"Nope. Play time is over. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

Before he could even process it, Kurt had kissed him one last time and was out the door. He heard him shout a goodbye to Laurel on his way out, and then the door slammed and once again, Blaine was left wondering how on earth this one human being had such a huge effect on him.

He sighed, flopping back on his bed and covering his eyes with his hands. He had so much to do to get ready to go to New York, and now on top of it, he had to deal with a party he didn't even want. Though, he supposed if it made Kurt happy, he could suffer through it. And if alcohol wasn't going to be involved in any way, maybe it wouldn't be all so bad. He'd get the chance to meet all of Kurt's friends that he heard so much about, and Kurt would get the opportunity to do the same with Blaine's own friends.

In all honesty, Blaine was actually getting excited for this party. He couldn't wait for his friends to meet Kurt; he was sure they'd love him, especially since he'd nearly talked Wes and David's ears off about him. He hadn't spoken with Trent, Nick, or Jeff quite as extensively, but they texted occasionally, enough to know who Kurt was, at least. They were all happy for him, happy to know that Blaine was in a healthy relationship and doing so much better this time around in comparison to the _last time _Blaine was in a relationship.

Okay, so maybe he was getting sort of stoked for this thing. Thursday couldn't come fast enough.

Laurel blew into his room and sat in his desk chair without so much as a courtesy knock on the open doorframe. "So what was that I heard about a party?"

Blaine sat up and narrowed his eyes at her. "Were you sitting outside my door listening to us?"

"Gross, Blaine. I don't want to hear all that."

He blushed, ducking his head, since there was actually stuff to hear now. They hadn't gotten anywhere near sex yet; hell, they hadn't even taken their _shirts _off yet. But their fully-clothed make-out sessions were more than enough to make Blaine's head spin for hours afterward. Kurt was a _fantastic _kisser, and getting better and better with practice, clearly gaining enough confidence to try new things, new things that Blaine _always _liked.

"Kurt told me about it on his way out," Laurel finished, pulling all her hair over one shoulder. "I almost didn't hear him, he was moving so quickly and talking even faster, but somehow I caught 'party' and figured that was his way of inviting me. So, care to fill me in on this party?"

"He's throwing a party on Thursday night as a kind of final hoorah before we all go off to college. He's inviting his friends from high school and he wants me to invite mine, and, apparently, you."

Laurel's eyes went wide and she gasped, "Are you implying that you would not have invited me yourself, dear cousin?" Before Blaine could answer, she continued. "I cannot believe my own cousin wouldn't invite me to his party! I'm so glad your boyfriend is so considerate, because _you _clearly have _no _manners."

"I didn't exactly have the best teachers," Blaine pointed out. "My manner role models literally _kicked _me out of the house."

Laurel threw him a look. "Not fair. You can't bring up your parents when we're discussing fun party plans."

"Fine, back to the party, then. Kurt is planning the whole thing, so I honestly don't know anything about it yet except for that it's going to be at his house on Thursday night, like I said."

"Will there be alcohol?" Laurel asked, spinning around in Blaine's desk chair trying to create an air of casual curiosity.

Kurt and Blaine both decided after that awful night at Scandals two weeks ago, they would leave the alcohol out of the story when it was told to Laurel. So when Kurt was giving Laurel the run down while Blaine lay in bed, he said that they'd run into Karofsky and Michael at the movies, rather than at a gay bar. It took some convincing, but they finally got Burt to agree to not alert Laurel either. It was decided by everyone that it would just be best not to include that part, especially after Blaine gave them all a very vague run-down of Laurel's history with alcohol from high school.

"No," Blaine replied. "Definitely not. I made sure to tell Kurt to tell his more…_rebellious _friend not to bring any. Besides, I'm sure Kurt's dad and stepmom will be staying for the party. Mrs. Hummel has been dying to meet you since Kurt and I started dating."

Laurel whipped her head up and stared at Blaine with excited eyes, spinning with more energy. "Really? That's so neat! I can't wait to meet her! She sounds lovely from what Kurt's told me."

"She is."

They sat in comfortable silence, Laurel continuing to twirl around and around, and Blaine hating himself for keeping so much from Laurel. She was the only real family he had left, and it killed him that even with her he kept things secret. But that was normal, right? Even kids who have good relationships with their parents, like Kurt and Burt, kept things private. Kurt never told his father about when Karofsky kissed him. That was a pretty big secret to keep. And he definitely wouldn't have said anything about seeing his former tormentor again if Blaine hadn't been there.

"So," Laurel began, breaking the quiet, "how are you and Kurt doing? I'm assuming good, since you mostly keep to yourselves. But I hardly ever see you anymore, you're always out with him or at his place, and even when you're here you two just come right in here."

Blaine smiled; he knew he looked goofy, but he couldn't help it. Whenever he got to talk about Kurt to someone, he got all giddy like a love-sick teenager—then again, that was exactly what he was, wasn't it? He was a love-sick teenager. What a cliché. "We're doing well…really well, actually."

"You're not getting tired of him yet?"

"Not at all. I can't get enough of him. Every time he leaves I just want him to turn around and come back."

"Freaks," Laurel muttered, still spinning. Blaine imagined she'd probably be getting tired right now, but it looked like she was using his laptop to spot, a trick she learned when she was in dance in high school. She laughed, continuing, "No, but really, I'm happy for you. He makes you better. A couple weeks ago, after you ran into Michael, and you got all…you know…again, it was nice seeing how quickly he could put you back together. It's like he's that missing piece you've been looking for. It's sweet."

"Yeah, it is." Blaine's smile only got bigger, and he blushed, looking down at his hands. "We, uh…we talk about the future."

Laurel stopped spinning and stared at him. "What do you mean, you talk about the future?"

"Finding an apartment together after our freshman year, getting married, having kids…"

Blaine chewed his bottom lip, looking up and catching Laurel's eyes. He was nervous, knowing how Laurel felt about Kurt towards the beginning of the summer. Recently she'd seemed to be better about it, but he wasn't sure how much that would withstand with him and Kurt talking so seriously after only knowing each other for a summer. It did seem sudden when Blaine thought about it, and rushed, but they had both decided that you can't help the way you feel, and if they felt this strongly about each other, there was a reason for it, and they weren't going to fight it.

"That's…nice," Laurel said at last, smiling softly. "Yeah. I know you expected me to grow claws and fangs and go after him like some crazy person, but that's good. I said at the very beginning that you needed to make sure he was as serious about you as you were about him, and if these conversations about the future are mutual obviously you two are on the same page. And it's good to talk about that kind of stuff when you enter a new relationship, rather than spend 5 years with a guy only to find out he doesn't believe in marriage or want kids, but you do. Then you've wasted 5 years with someone who wasn't right for you. So…yes. You seem happy, and Kurt seems happy, so I'm happy. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters."

As if on silent agreement, they both stood up and met in the middle to hug each other.

"Thank you," Blaine said into her hair.

"You're welcome. Besides," she pulled back and smirked at him, "just imagine the looks on your parents' faces when they get the wedding invitation for you and a _boy_. They're going to just shit bricks. It'll be priceless. Actually…could you warn me ahead of time when you're sending them out so I can stalk your parents' mailbox and make sure I've got some binoculars and I'm watching from the window? That would just be too great to miss."

One simple suggestion, mostly in jest, made Blaine feel like a knife had gone through his heart.

"Laurel, when Kurt and I get married, I'm not inviting my parents."

"But, Blaine—"

"But nothing!" He turned from her and faced his bed, running a hand through his hair. "They kicked me out, Laur. My dad put me in the hospital. They haven't tried to contact me in almost 4 years. They signed over papers saying I'm no longer their son. Why the fuck would I invite them?"

"Blaine," she tried again, placing a hand on his shoulder. He jerked away. "Maybe…Maybe they've changed, you know? Or maybe…maybe seeing that you're in love with someone, and you're getting married, maybe they'll want to see you again. Seeing you with Kurt might change their minds, even the tiniest bit—"

"They wouldn't see me with Kurt! They wouldn't see me at all!" He spun around, glaring at his cousin, before falling to sit on the edge of his bed. The anger rushed out of his body, leaving him with only the feeling of abandonment. "They would take one glance at the name on the return address and throw the envelope in the fireplace without even opening it. I'm nothing to them."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even mentioned them."

"No, but it's okay. I'm not mad, I'm just…can you go, please? I'm going to call Wes and David and invite them to Kurt's party, maybe send a text to Trent, Jeff and Nick."

Laurel stood in the middle of his room for a second, as if debating if she really wanted to leave him alone or not.

Blaine sighed. "I'll be fine. You can leave the door open; you can even sit right outside the door where you think I can't see you and eavesdrop on my phone conversations if you want. I'll pretend not to notice."

"Ha-ha. I don't eavesdrop…much."

She winked at him, but closed the door on the way out. He sent her a telepathic _thank you_ for trusting him. Then, he picked up his phone and dialed David's number, holding it to his ear and standing up to find one of his suitcases that were at the back of his closet. If he was going to have to start packing, he might as well start now.

David picked up just as Blaine slipped on a shoe on his closet floor and started falling against all of his clothes.

"Hello?"

"Oof! _Shit._"

"Blaine?"

"Yeah," Blaine grunted, pushing himself up and kicking the stupid shoe out of the way. "I'm here. Just…crap, hold on a sec."

"But you called me."

"I know that! Just…okay. I'm fine now. Yes, hello."

"What were you doing?"

"Kurt's making me start packing so I was trying to get to one of the suitcases in the back of my closet and…yeah, I fell, I'm a clutz, what else is new? Anyway, I was calling you because—"

"Oh, Kurt is there? Tell him I say hello! _HI, KURT!"_

Blaine yanked the phone away from his ear when David shouted through the phone, trying to get Kurt to hear him.

"He's not here," Blaine informed him. "But thank you for causing me to go deaf in my right ear."

"You're welcome! I do what I can. Now, what is it you called me about?"

"Can't a guy just call his best friend to talk?"

"Not unless he lost his balls at the bottom of his purse while he was shopping at Forever 21 for a new pair of hot pink high heels to match his sequin dress."

"Nice, David."

"Just sayin'."

Blaine rolled his eyes, finally finding the suitcase and pulling it out with much more ease than actually locating it, throwing it open on his floor. He looked around his room, unsure of where to start, and spoke again.

"Anyway, I actually did call you for a reason. Kurt is throwing a party and wants me to invite my friends and he's inviting his friends and it'll be a joint party for us all to see each other one more time before we all go our separate ways, as he put it."

"So, basically, he wants to show you off to all his friends and he wants to meet all of yours."

"Basically. He told me to invite you and Wes, and Trent and Nick and Jeff."

"As luck would have it, I'm sitting on Wes right now."

Blaine pulled his phone away from his ear and made a face at it, wondering if he'd heard right. "I'm sorry, you're what?"

"I'm sitting on Wes right now. Say hi, Wes."

"_Hi, Blaine!"_

He had accepted long ago that he would never understand the antics of his two best friends, but this was just beyond weird, even for them.

"And when you say you're sitting on Wes, you mean—"

"Exactly that. He's at my house and we were going to watch _Ironman 2_—"

"_Scarlett Johansson is so fucking hot!"_

"—and I went to the kitchen to get us sodas and make us popcorn like the fabulous host I am, and when I came back, he was sprawled all across the couch. I told him to make room for me; he refused, so I sat on him. We've been like this the whole movie."

"And how far into it are you?"

"Around an hour, I'd say. Right, Wes?"

"_More like an hour and 7 minutes, but I guess you were close enough—OW! Blaine, David threw his shoe at my head!"_

"You deserved it, asshole. Hey, Blaine's boyfriend is having a party. You in?"

While Wes and David talked to each other, Blaine went over to his dresser and started taking out all of the clothes he wouldn't need until he was in New York.

"_When is it, where is it, and will there be hot chicks?"_

"I don't know, let me ask Blaine. Hey, Blaine! When's this party, and where's it gonna take place?"

"_And will there be hot girls there, David! That's the most important part of my question!"_

"This Thursday," Blaine replied, grimacing at some of his old clothes that hadn't seen the light of day in years; _and for good reason_, he thought to himself. "It'll be at Kurt's house, I'll give you guys directions later. And as for hot girls, I know there will be girls, I don't know how attractive you'll find them; I've never met any of them before, that's kind of the point of the party."

"Blaine says it's this Thursday at his honey bunches' house," David said, relaying the information to Wes. Blaine rolled his eyes at his friend referring to his boyfriend as his "honey bunches." "Also, he says that there will be girls there, but he's never met them so he doesn't know if we'll think they're hot or not."

"_So there's a 50/50 chance? Good enough for me, I'm in."_

"You're such a pig. Blaine, we're in."

"Good," Blaine said, trying to decide whether he might want to wear the shirt he was about to pack to Kurt's party or not. Might as well ask. "Hey, David, you know that horizontal-striped, red and black v-neck I have?"

"Nope, not a clue. Are you seriously asking me for fashion advice, man? I'm straight. Call Trent."

Blaine sighed. "Fine. You're good for absolutely nothing, you know that?"

"Yup. I've accepted that about myself. Hey, when are you leaving for New York again?"

"This Saturday."

"Shit, that's soon."

"Well, when are you and Wes going back to Stanford?"

"Not 'til next Tuesday. I guess that's just as soon, it just hasn't hit me yet that you're leaving this time too. Now who am I going to have to visit at Dalton?"

"Nick and Jeff?"

"I guess. Hey, speaking of Trent, do you know where he's going?"

"I think he's going to the Art Institute of Ohio in Cincinnati for fashion design. His parents didn't want him going out of state."

"Sucks for him. Okay, Wes is throwing popcorn at me begging me to start the movie again, so I'm gonna go. I'll see you Thursday?"

"Yeah. See you later."

"_Bye, Blaine!_"

"Bye, Wes!"

He hung up, deciding that he might wear the v-neck on Thursday after all, and throwing it on his bed. It was a good idea to call Trent; he was gay _and _going into fashion design. He could call Kurt, too, but then Kurt would know what he was wearing and he kind of wanted to surprise him. Then again, Kurt would probably demand to stamp his seal of approval on Blaine's outfit for the party, so maybe he should just call his boyfriend.

After a few minutes of internal debating, Blaine decided to just leave the v-neck out and worry about it later and focus his mind back on packing. Since Laurel wasn't going anywhere, she encouraged him to leave the little things he wouldn't leave in New York, that way he would still feel like he had a space and a home with her, too. He was grateful for that, not only because Laurel still wanted him to feel at home with her, but because it meant less packing.

He emptied out the bottom drawer, frowning when he saw a square frame face-down at the bottom. He dropped the clothes in his suitcase and went back over to the drawer, picking up the picture frame and turning it over. Immediately, he wished he hadn't; there was a reason he buried it at the bottom of his bottom drawer. It was a picture of him and his parents, one of their annual family portraits that his mother paid thousands of dollars to set up and take for them, all dressed in fancy clothes that his parents wore every day but Blaine avoided at all costs. If Blaine thought it hurt to think about them, it hurt even worse to see their faces smiling at him—fake smiles, of course, but in that house those were the only smiles he knew.

Tears prickled his eyes and he tried with every fiber of his being to keep them at bay. No way was he wasting any more heart ache on his parents. He didn't need them. He had Laurel, and Wes and David, and Burt, and even Finn and Carole.

Most importantly, he had Kurt. And at the end of the day, that was all he needed.

…

_August 23, 2012_

"Blaine! Kurt's—"

Before Laurel even had time to finish announcing Kurt's presence, Kurt was bursting through the door of Blaine's room.

"—here," she finished, showing up behind him in the entryway.

Blaine laughed and turned to face his boyfriend and cousin from the closet. "Thanks, Laur."

"Yes, thank you, Laurel," Kurt added, staring at Blaine like he was seeing him for the first time.

"What?" he asked. "I've been trying on different things, I wasn't sure what you wanted me to wear, if you don't want me to wear this one, we may have to crack open all the clothes I packed."

Laurel coughed. "You might not want to wear that particular outfit, Blainers."

"Why not?"

"It's not a pool party. At least, I didn't think it was. Kurt, do you have a pool in your backyard?"

"No," Kurt replied softly, still eyeing Blaine.

Blaine finally had the sense to look down, and promptly realized that he didn't have a shirt on. He'd been looking for that v-neck he set aside on Monday—he had no idea where it ended up after all of his packing—and had completely forgotten to put on a new shirt in the meantime. He wasn't one for getting cold very easily, so it wasn't like he noticed the change in temperature between wearing a shirt and not wearing one.

Ah. Now Kurt's gaping made sense.

"Sorry," Blaine said, grabbing the shirt he'd most recently tossed on the floor and slipping it on. "I've been trying on different things; I wasn't sure what you wanted me to wear tonight." He crossed the room and gave Kurt a quick kiss on the lips, stepping back so Kurt could critique what Blaine was wearing. Kurt, though, it seemed was still hung up on what Blaine was previously _not _wearing. "What is up with you? You've seen me in my _boxers_, Kurt."

"And on that note," Laurel piped up, "I'm going to leave you two alone, because that was far more than I actually wanted to hear."

With Laurel gone, Blaine pulled Kurt further into his room and closed the door.

He supposed that in some way, he was expecting—hoping, rather—that Kurt might be unable to control himself and attack Blaine, pinning him to the bed and have his way with him.

Instead, Kurt seemed to come back to himself and walked over to Blaine's closet, looking through the few shirts Blaine hadn't packed, taking one off of its hanger and tossing it to him.

"Try this one, the one you're wearing clashes with your skin tone."

"There was a v-neck I wanted your opinion on," Blaine said, pulling off the t-shirt to slip on the dark blue button-up Kurt threw at him. "I can't remember where I put it, though."

"I bet I know where." Kurt headed towards Blaine's bed and ripped the crumpled up, twisted comforter off the mattress and shook it out.

A piece of red and black fabric fell to the floor.

"You found it!"

"Blaine, it's been in your bed for days. It's wrinkled. You've slept with your feet probably tangled in it. You can_not_ wear that tonight."

"But it looks good on me, I swear!"

"Arguing is pointless, Blaine, you know that when it comes to clothes I win every time. That shirt is perfect; it makes your curls look amazing and makes your eyes pop. Now put on some shoes and let's go, we're already running behind."

Blaine turned his head around to check his clock and frown. "The party doesn't start for another 2 hours, Kurt. That's plenty of time for us to get back to your house and finish setting up, although I'm sure you've probably already done all that needs to get done."

"Yes, but unfortunately I live in the same house with Finn, and all the party food I bought on Monday when I left your house has now been devoured, so we need to grocery shop on our way back to my place."

"Fine. Will you go in my top drawer and get a pair of socks for me?" Blaine asked, gesturing to his dresser and sitting on the edge of his bed, picking up his favourite pair of shoes from the floor.

Kurt did as he was asked, but paused when he rolled open the drawer. "Blaine, did you really just direct me to your underwear drawer? Is this your idea of seducing me so you don't have to come to the party? Because you told me last night on the phone that all of your friends were excited to come, and you were excited for them to meet me."

Blaine rolled his eyes, standing up and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist from behind. "Is seducing you a viable option?"

"No," Kurt said firmly, stepping out of Blaine's grasp. "Now put on your shoes. We have soy chips and organic cookies to buy."

…

Blaine groaned, pushing the basket as Kurt walked in front of him, checking things off the list.

"Kurt, are we done yet? My feet hurt."

"We haven't even gotten to the party yet. Quit being a baby."

"I'm not being a baby. I just wish you'd hurry up. There are only so many brands of healthy junk food you can buy."

"Hush, you. I'm trying to concentrate."

He leaned his arms on the handle of the grocery cart and pouted. They'd been there for 45 minutes; if they didn't hurry up, they'd be late for their own party, something Blaine was sure Kurt would _not _find acceptable. Yet, here they still were, going up and down _every single aisle._ Blaine was about ready to shoot himself in the foot. Although, he had to admit, it was pretty nice grocery shopping with his boyfriend. It was…domestic; it was something he could see them doing in a year or two when they had their own place and were buying groceries to fill their fridge and pantry.

"Okay, yes. We've gotten everything. We can go."

"_Finally."_

Just as they were exiting the aisle, a little blur ran straight into Kurt's legs, and promptly fell on the floor. Now motionless, Blaine could see it was a little boy with black curls. Kurt kneeled low on the ground and picked the little boy up, hoisting him on his hip.

"Hey, there, big guy. You should really watch where you're going," he said.

Seeing Kurt holding a toddler in his arms while they were grocery shopping just added to the image he'd been conjuring up in his head, but he had to shake his thoughts and focus on the present.

"Who the hell lets a toddler wander around a grocery store alone?" Blaine asked.

Kurt shrugged and looked at the boy. "How old are you?"

The boy lifted the hand that didn't have his thumb in his mouth and presented them with three fingers.

"Three years old?" The boy nodded. "You're a little young to be by yourself, don't you think? What's your name?"

"Alexander. But Momma says Alex," he answered, the words muffled by his thumb.

Kurt smiled. "Alex. That's a nice name. Where is your Momma?"

Alex sighed, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder. "Momma and Daddy yelled again. I don't like it when they yell."

Blaine and Kurt shared a sympathetic glance. "Let's find your parents, okay? I'm sure they're done yelling now."

Kurt slowed his pace to walk beside Blaine at the head of the grocery cart as they searched the store for Alex's parents. Every so often, Kurt would look at Alex, then back at Blaine, then back at Alex. It was strange, so Blaine said, "Why do you keep doing that?"

"He looks just like you."

Just as Kurt was finishing his sentence, Alex started squirming in his arms, shouting, "Momma! Daddy!" Kurt set him down and watched as Alex ran over to a couple dressed far too nicely for a simple grocery store.

Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist. He was so busy watching the little boy run, hoping he wouldn't trip, that he didn't even notice who the kid was running to. When Alex got close enough, though, it was hard to miss.

Blaine's heart stopped. It felt like someone punched him in the gut, and he gasped.

Kurt looked over in alarm. "What?"

Simultaneously ignoring Kurt's question and answering it, Blaine stared at the couple in disbelief.

"Mom? Dad?"

**Woo! So this was just part one. I'm already working on part two. I was going to have it be one super chapter like the one before last, but I don't want to bog you guys down with giant chapters, and I wanted to leave it at a cliffhanger. Don't worry, part two will be up soon, and it will pick up right where this one left off.**


	19. The Party: Part Two

**Yay! I got a couple reviews! I love reviews! So, here is part two, just like I promised. Actually, it's a lot earlier than I planned. I didn't think I'd finish part two in the same day. But here it is!**

**Also, not like this really has anything to do with any of you, but I'm super excited because earlier today when I was just wasting my life away on Tumblr I got the idea for how they will end up broken up in December, where the story started in chapter one before it jumped to the beginning of the summer. I didn't have any clue how I was going to manage that at first but, like every good story, it's been writing itself and the idea for their break up just blew up in my mind. It's gonna be great and I can't wait to write it for you guys. :)**

**Oh, and here are the couples for people who might get confused: Finn/Rachel, Tina/Mike, Santana/Brittany, Sam/Mercedes, Nick/OC, Jeff/OC. Singles: Quinn, Artie, Puck, Wes, David, Trent.**

He felt Kurt stiffen beside him, but was too distracted by his world exploding to notice or care.

"Blaine?"

It was his mother who spoke, staring at him like she had no idea who he was.

That hurt more than anything.

He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. There were so many things running through his mind, _so many things_ he wanted to say to them. There was one thing above all, though, that needed to be addressed.

"Is that…?" He couldn't even finish the question, but he knew as he gestured to Alex, now in his own mother's arms, that they knew what he was asking.

His mother opened her mouth to speak, but his dad gripped her arm. "Charlotte, I think it's time for us to head back to the house."

"Wait, just like that, you're going to leave again?"

"You left us, Blaine," his father said cooly, looking at him like he used to look at his clients he didn't particularly care for.

Blaine's jaw dropped. "Are…Are you kidding? _You kicked me out._"

"Let's not rehash the past. We were just picking up a few things for—" his mother broke off in the middle of her sentence, glancing at Alex in her arms.

"For my brother," Blaine finished, and somehow, saying the words aloud made it all the more real. "I can't believe it. I have a brother and you didn't tell me? You couldn't even send a postcard?"

"We're no longer obligated to you in any form whatsoever. We signed off that responsibility to Laurel. What we do is not your business anymore, and vice versa. _Clearly._" His dad threw a sharp, pointed glance at Kurt.

Fuck. Kurt was standing right beside him, witnessing everything. Suddenly, he realized that his arm was still around Kurt's waist, gripping him so hard he was sure it was going to leave a mark. He dropped his arm as if it'd been burned.

"So, what? Is Alex like…your replacement child? Take Two? Let's see if we can make one that's straight this time?" Blaine clenched his fists at his side.

"This is hardly the place for your dramatics, Blaine," his mother chided. "Let's not reenact that night in a public arena, hmm?"

"Oh, okay. But if we were in the comfort of your own home, it's fine to beat your child, I see now," Blaine spit back. He knew his voice was growing in volume; people were starting to turn and stare.

"Blaine," Kurt murmured, voice gentle, "let's go. Come on, this isn't good for you—"

"Fuck what's good for me," Blaine shouted, stepping away from Kurt and towards his parents. People were definitely watching now. "Do you know how many years I've waited for this? Four years. It's been almost four years since you broke my ribs and threw me out on the streets for being gay. I bet you didn't know about that, did ya, Dad? You broke eight of my ribs. If you look closely, you can still see some permanent bruising. But you have to look real close, because not even Kurt has noticed it yet.

"Oh, yeah, that guy behind me?" Blaine turned and gestured to Kurt, who was looking on, just as shell-shocked as the rest of the crowd. "That's my boyfriend Kurt. He's great. We're going to NYU together; I leave Saturday. I bet you didn't know that either, huh? I got a scholarship for music there. I graduated high school and everything. The stuff you miss when you abandon your kid, right?"

"Blaine, that's enough," Kurt said, standing beside him but knowing better from prior experience than to touch him right now. "You've said what you had to say. We can go now."

"Like hell I have. I've only just begun. Don't you want to stay and see how much fun me and my mommy and daddy have all together again for the first time since I was 14 years old? The first time since I was _fourteen fucking years old_. Not a call, not a letter, not a visit, _nothing._ Who does that to their own kid?"

"Momma," Alex piped up, starting to cry, "he's yelling."

And just like that, Blaine's heart broke.

Because right in front of his eyes, he was seeing a younger version of himself fall apart just like he did. He remembered being that young and trailing after his parents at the grocery store; he remembered all the fighting; he remembered how much it sucked as a kid to live in a house where someone was constantly yelling.

Here he was doing the exact same thing to his…_god,_ his _little brother._

"Oh, that's right," Blaine continued, voice now at a normal volume, "the same parents that let their 3 year old son wander the store by himself. You know he could have been kidnapped? But then, I guess he'd probably be better off with a stranger who molested him every night than with you two."

He heard Kurt gasp behind him, along with the crowd, and was already walking away, heading for the exit before Kurt had time to say anything or his parents or anybody.

He was so _done._

The second he walked out into the parking lot, though, he ran over and leaned his hand against a pole, arm extended, and threw up.

Kurt was there, rubbing a soothing palm over his back just like that night at Scandals.

"I'm taking you home, okay?"

Blaine shook his head. "The party. We have to go to the party."

"Blaine, you're not going to a party like this; not after what just happened. I'm taking you back to your house and putting you in bed."

"I'm not fucking tired," he snapped. Then, realizing who he snapped to, he took a calming breath and repeated in a softer tone, "I'm not tired. You worked hard on planning this thing in less than a week. I saw my parents, big deal."

"It_ is_ a big deal." Kurt spun Blaine around and wiped at his forehead, pulling him into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"Can we just…I just want to forget about it, okay? I just want to go to your house and meet your friends and see mine and distract myself with mindless chatter and plans for the year."

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"_Please_, Kurt." Blaine pulled back and stared into Kurt's eyes, trying to convey just how badly he needed this.

Kurt sighed and closed his eyes. Blaine knew Kurt well enough now to know that Kurt was thinking really hard, weighing his options, trying to figure out what was best for them in that moment. After a minute, he nodded. "Alright, here's what we're going to do. We're going to my house, you're going to mingle for an hour, and after that I'm having Laurel take you home. Okay?"

Blaine groaned; he'd completely forgotten Laurel would be there too. He _so _didn't want to do this with her right now. "Can you not tell Laurel what just happened?"

"Blaine, I don't think—"

"Please. Just…not right now. If we told her now she'd freak out and throw me in the car the second she heard the story. I've let my parents ruin my entire high school years; I'm not letting them ruin my last high school party."

"Fine."

Upon reaching an agreement, the boys headed back to Kurt's car—groceries completely forgotten—and drove over to Kurt's house. The ride was silent, and it went by so fast Blaine thought for a second he might have gone to sleep. _No_, he reminded himself, _you were just convincing yourself that you're anywhere but here_.

When Kurt turned onto his street, there were already 3 cars there—one of them taking his parking spot on the driveway—so he pulled up to a stop on the curb and turned off the engine.

"Now, if at any moment you want to get away from everyone or you want to leave early, just—"

"I'll be fine, Kurt."

He climbed out of the car before Kurt could protest any further and was already entering the house before Kurt had even managed to lock the car behind them.

Finn was the first to greet him. "Hey, man. It's good to see you."

"You saw me yesterday, Finn," Blaine pointed out.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't like seeing you."

"Who's already here, Finn?" Kurt asked, shutting the front door and moving to stand at Blaine's side, taking Blaine's hand in his.

Finn shrugged. "Some of Blaine's friends, plus Mike and Tina. I told them they could all just head out back and chill 'til you two got back from the store. Hey, where's the food?"

Kurt slapped his free hand against his forehead. "Shit. Um…we forgot."

"You forgot? But you were gone for a long time."

"We got distracted."

Finn still looked dubious, so Blaine decided it was time for one of his famous interjections. "We pulled over on the way here to make out in the backseat. Want to see the hickey Kurt gave me as proof?"

Finn immediately shut his eyes and started backing out of the room. "No way, dude. That's gross. I don't want to see all that. Just…I'm going to raid my secret stash of food in my room and see what I can come up with."

"Of _course _you have a secret stash," Kurt said.

To any normal person, it would have just sounded like Kurt being Kurt, but Blaine could hear the relief in his voice at Blaine's excuse. Finn was already up the stairs and, presumably, in his room, so Kurt turned to Blaine.

"Thank you."

"I'm an expert at coming up with fake stories on the spot. Let's go see which of my friends are here."

Despite his concerns over Blaine, Kurt's face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically, practically dragging Blaine out to the backyard. When they stepped out onto the deck, Blaine immediately spotted David and Trent sitting at a patio table talking, and Wes standing in front of who he assumed to be Mike and Tina, also chatting amiably. Trent looked up as Kurt and Blaine came outside and smiled.

"Hey, Blaine!"

Everyone stopped talking and turned around to face Kurt and Blaine, shouting out their own greetings.

"Hi," Kurt greeted, smiling. He eyed the trio of Wes, Mike and Tina oddly, then asked, "Do you three already know each other?"

"The Asian community is very tight," Mike replied, arm around Tina's shoulders.

Kurt just kept smiling and nodded his head, a trick Blaine knew he learned from an acting class last summer.

"_It's called the nod and smile," _Kurt had said_, "When someone says something you don't agree with, or when they say something strange that you don't really understand or particularly care about, you just nod and smile."_

"Um, Trent, Wes, David, this is my boyfriend Kurt," Blaine said, gesturing with his free hand to his boyfriend beside him. "Kurt, that's Wes, and Trent and David." He pointed to them all as he introduced them, and all three of them waved in greeting.

David stood up and came over to shake Kurt's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you, Kurt. We've heard a lot about you. Thanks for inviting us to your party."

"Likewise. Blaine talks about all of his adventures with you and Wes at Dalton all the time. And, Trent, I'd love to discuss fashion with you later. Blaine tells me you're going into fashion design."

Trent's face brightened and he grinned, nodding. "Absolutely!"

Kurt turned his attention to his friends. "Mike, Tina, do you know what time everyone else will be arriving?"

As if on cue, Blaine heard more voices and what sounded like something rolling behind him; he turned to see a kid in a wheelchair being pushed in by a guy with a mohawk, a blonde boy and a black girl behind them holding hands.

"What up, y'all? Who's ready to get their party on?" the kid in the wheelchair said, raising his arms.

Blaine forced a laugh at how the white, nerdy kid in a wheelchair was trying to sound like a "gangsta."

"Dude, Kurt, why didn't you tell us your boyfriend was such a hottie? You better be tappin' that," the mohawk kid said, parking the kid in the wheelchair at the table and strolling up to Blaine, clapping a hand on his back. "Sup, dude? I'm Puck." Puck leaned in closer and whispered in Blaine's ear, "Don't worry, I didn't bring alcohol. Kurt threatened me with castration. At first, I was like, 'screw it, I'm getting drunk no matter what Kurt says,' but then I googled it so I definitely left the booze at home."

"Thanks," Blaine said, frowning in confusion at how strange Kurt's friends were. "I appreciate that."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Blaine, that's Puck. That's Artie, and that's Sam and Mercedes." Again, Kurt gestured to each individual as he said their names, and each one gave a little wave.

Blaine could already tell that there was no way he was going to be able to keep track of everybody. These were all names he'd heard all summer, but to try and match them all to the right faces all night would prove to be a taxing chore with everything else on his mind.

And there it was. Blaine had been trying to put it from his mind, but he knew it wouldn't last long. He had a brother. A _brother_. A three-year-old named Alexander. Alexander Anderson. Blaine wondered what his middle name was, what his favorite crayon to draw with was, what stuffed animal he slept with at night. He longed to know this brother he didn't even know he had until less than an hour ago. And Alex, no doubt, had no idea who Blaine was. His parents would probably make up something along the lines of Blaine just being some crazy person and that's why he's not allowed to talk to strangers. Was he even old enough for that talk? How old was Blaine when they had that talk with him?

His mind wandered back to the picture he found in the drawer of his dresser. A family portrait. They make you draw family portraits in school, right? Alex was too young for real school, but knowing his parents, he was probably in the most prestigious preschool around. It hurt to know that when Alex was instructed to draw a family portrait, it was of his mother, his father, and Alex. Where was Blaine?

He didn't exist.

"Blaine," Kurt murmured with a tone that implied it wasn't the first time he'd called his name.

Blaine snapped up to notice that everyone was staring at him.

"Oh. What? I'm sorry. I was…" He trailed off. What _was_ he doing?

"Thinking?" Kurt supplied.

"Yeah."

An awkward silence fell over everyone before David started over to Blaine. "Hey, Blaine, how about we go chat inside for a second? You can show me where I can get a drink; I know you practically live here just as much as you live with Laurel."

"Great idea, David. Blaine knows where everything is," Kurt said, smiling—it was forced, and Blaine decided he didn't like to see that same fake smile he'd seen on his family's faces so many times plastered on Kurt's. It was wrong there.

Blaine followed David into the house, shutting the sliding glass door behind them. David started to veer off in the wrong direction, so Blaine reached out a hand and grabbed his arm, tugging him back.

"That's the laundry room. The kitchen is this way."

David chuckled. "Of course."

When they reached the kitchen, Blaine went straight to the fridge to check out the prospects. "Okay, so you can have water or milk or—"

"Blaine, I didn't actually want anything to drink. You know that."

He sighed and straightened up, closing the door of the fridge and turning to his friend. "Yeah. I know."

"Just tell me what happened and this will all go a lot faster."

"I—…When Kurt and I went to the store, we saw—…I have a—…"

"Spit it out, Blaine."

He opened his mouth to try again, but spotted Kurt in the doorway and sighed in relief, throwing Kurt a pleading look.

"We saw his parents at the grocery store," Kurt informed him, Wes in tow.

Wes' eyes practically bulged out of his head and David gasped.

"Well, fuck me in the mouth with a wooden baseball bat," David said.

Kurt gave him a strange look. "Eloquent."

"That's not all," Blaine added, fully used to and ignoring David's strange phrases.

"That's more than enough, I'd say," Wes offered.

Blaine agreed, but didn't voice as much aloud. He looked at Kurt again, who was looking at him like his heart was breaking. For the first time, Blaine understood when people in love said to each other _When you hurt, I hurt, too._ He could see his own pain reflected in Kurt's eyes and knew that Kurt was feeling this just as much as he was. It was comforting to know he could share some of this with someone; he didn't have to deal with it on his own.

"Blaine has a brother," Kurt finished, stepping over to where Blaine was leaning with his back against the fridge, arms crossed over his chest.

He knew Wes and David were having a shitfit right now, but all he could see was Kurt in front of him, taking his face in his hands. Which was good, because he felt a panic attack coming on, which just made him panic even more because he didn't want to have a panic attack right now, and it made him panicky to panic.

"Shit," he heard Kurt mutter.

That was all he heard, though. He saw Wes and David move into his vision, standing behind Kurt on either side. He could see all their lips moving, all of them trying to talk to him, but all he could hear was his blood pumping, his heart pounding in his ears. He was desperately trying to breathe, but it felt like he had been submerged underwater and he was filling his lungs with heavy liquid.

He brought his hands to his eyes and rubbed the bases of his palms against his eyeballs, sliding down the refrigerator and sinking to the ground. All at the same time, he was trying to get his head to stop pounding, his heart to stop beating so hard in his chest, his lungs to take in air instead of water, his life to stop spiraling out of control.

Why was it that _just _when things were starting to look up for him, something from his past had to come back and fucking _ruin everything_?

"Blaine."

Kurt was grasping Blaine's hands in his, trying to pull them away from his head, probably to get Blaine to look at him.

"He needs water," he heard Wes saying.

"Blaine, look at me."

"Kurt, where are the cups?"

"The cupboard next to the one you're looking in now. Blaine, sweetheart, open your eyes; look at me. I'm right here."

"Blaine, man, come on," this time it was David, "It's us. We've got you. You're okay."

"Honey, I'm here. Hold on to my hands. Listen to my voice. Look at my face."

A calming feeling washed over him and his heart didn't seem so erratic anymore, and the water level in his lungs was receding; he tentatively lowered his hands, still grasping Kurt's tightly in his, and looked into his boyfriend's eyes.

"'Honey' wasn't on the list of approved terms of endearment," Blaine stated, panting.

He could feel all of the tension leave the room, and Wes kneeled beside him, holding out a cup of water. "Here. Drink this."

Too tired to argue, Blaine took the cup and downed it in 3 gulps.

Finn chose that moment to come downstairs, pulling a wagon filled with junk food behind him. He stopped short when he saw the scene in the kitchen.

"Uhh…"

"Not now, Finn," Kurt sighed. For once, he didn't sound irritated with his stepbrother; just exhausted. Blaine knew it was because of him. He was wearing his boyfriend out just by being a part of his life. All of these ups and downs were enough to give Blaine whiplash, he could imagine with Kurt sharing it all, he felt the same way. The worst part was, he didn't even have to. He was staying through it all because he _wanted _to. Who in their right mind would _want_ to experience something like this all the time? "Can you just take all that food out back and keep everyone entertained?"

"Sure. Feel better, Blaine."

"Thanks, Finn."

Finn left the room, his wagon trailing behind him.

"Kurt, I only just met your stepbrother, but I already think he's a freak of nature," Wes said.

"Was that a wagon of junk food?" David added.

"Don't ask," Kurt replied in that same worn-out tone. His eyes hadn't left Blaine's the entire time, but now his attention was solely focused on him. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Blaine lied.

Kurt frowned, releasing one of Blaine's hands to lift his own and wipe at Blaine's cheeks. Oh. There were tears there. When had that happened? Kurt leaned forward and kissed each of Blaine's cheeks where tears had left their paths behind.

"You're a terrible liar," he whispered, pulling back.

"You were singing a different tune earlier when I lied to Finn about where we were," Blaine pointed out.

"Blaine."

He sighed, knowing by Kurt's expression that this was not the time for that kind of light-hearted conversation.

"You want me to talk about it? Fine. Let's talk about it. I see my parents today for the first time in 4 years and they act like I'm just some teenager they met in passing one day, one they don't even like. It's funny, I've always said how much they don't care, how they're not going to want to talk to me again, how they disowned me, but that was just me putting on a brave face, you know? In the back of my mind, I always kind of hoped that Laurel would be right, and that maybe if I just gave them enough time they would come around and want to be in my life again. But today, they just said everything I've been saying, and somehow it hurt more to hear it thrown at me from them than from myself."

He paused to take a breath and wipe at his eyes, glancing at the faces of his two best friends and his boyfriend; all three of them looked heartbroken, but like they didn't know what to say. He couldn't blame them. If he were in their shoes, he had no idea what he'd say.

"And then Alex! I have a little brother named Alexander Anderson. That's all I know about him. It's funny, actually, because he just kind of ran into me and Kurt while we were grocery shopping, and just before we got him back to his—_our _parents—Kurt was saying how much he looked like me. Then he was running over to Richard and Charlotte Anderson, calling them 'momma' and 'daddy.' I mean, how am I supposed to react to that? I have a little brother—_fuck_. I don't know a thing about him. He's three, so Mom and Dad must've gotten busy as soon as they got rid of me to try to make another kid, one who wasn't going to screw up and be a _fag_."

"That's enough," Kurt said. He no longer sounded tired, but determined. "Your parents have already torn you down far too much for being gay; I won't have you doing it too. You did not screw up for being who you are, Blaine."

"I have permanent bruising that begs to differ," Blaine countered.

Before he could protest, Kurt was tugging Blaine to his feet and lifting his shirt up, crouching down to examine Blaine's abdomen. Blaine could see it on Kurt's face when he found it, the faint bruising that spread all across his torso. It was one of those things that, if no one said anything, you wouldn't pick up on it yourself; but if someone pointed it out to you, it was all you could see. Kurt dropped to his knees, pressing gentle kisses all across the skin, covering every inch of discoloration. When he finished, he pulled Blaine's shirt back down and stood up again, kissing Blaine's forehead and gazing into his eyes.

"Those bruises do not define you any more than what happened with Trevor does."

There was a sharp intake of breath, and Blaine's eyes flickered to the source of it. Funny, until Wes gasped, he'd forgotten that his two best friends were even still in the room. They had moved to stand against the counter by the sink.

"Blaine, you didn't tell us Kurt knew about Trevor," Wes said. Blaine appreciated the fact that Wes said Trevor's name like he said the words "murder," "rape," and "terrorist."

"Why does everyone always freak out that I know about Trevor? Michael did the same thing," Kurt sighed, obviously exasperated that they were focusing on Trevor and not on what was happening in the present.

David spoke this time, eyebrows almost reaching his hairline. "_Michael? _When did you see _Michael?"_

"About two weeks ago," Kurt answered shortly. "He told me I was crazy for sticking around, said all kinds of awful things about Blaine. Really, Blaine, I thought these guys were your best friends. How do they not know all of this?"

Blaine shrugged. "Sorry."

Honestly, Trevor and Michael were the least of his worries right now, and he didn't understand why everyone was focusing on them and not on his parents and his _brother_.

"Look," he explained, "I told Kurt about Trevor, okay? Yes, I told him everything. No, by everything I don't mean the Laurel version, I mean the version you guys were there to witness. We ran into Michael at a gay bar and he flipped his shit because I was punching the crap out of his boyfriend, who also happened to be the guy who bullied Kurt all through high school."

"Fuck, okay, wait a second. I need to process all of this," Wes inserted, rubbing his temples.

"Blaine," David's voice was soft and almost sounded like it had a twinge of…hurt to it. "I thought you were done with the violent stuff."

Kurt was quick to defend him. "He is. Karofsky had it coming for years. Blaine hasn't laid a finger on me, or on anyone in my family that night when we came back and he was drunk."

"You were _drunk_? You know better than that!"

"It was my fault, David. Don't get mad at Blaine. And as much as I love relaying all of this information to the two of you, this can be saved for later; there are more important things that have happened much more recently that still have yet to be dealt with, don't you think?"

"What's more important than getting drunk and having fun?"

All four boys whipped their heads to a new voice that had appeared in the doorway. Blaine's eyes lighted on a beautiful Latina girl and her equally blonde counterpart.

Kurt moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers and talking to himself. "Santana. I warned Puck, why did I not think to warn Santana?"

"Oh, please. I was at those Cheerios parties too, Hummel, I know how much fun you like to have with alcohol. As luck would have it, Auntie Tana just arrived with what her abuela used to put in her baby bottles instead of breast milk." The Latina—Santana—held up a bottle of liquor, smirking.

"Is that…tequila?" Wes asked, squinting his eyes to read the label.

Honestly, at that point, Blaine didn't even care. All he knew was that the answer to all of his problems was in that girl's hand. It was perfect, really. Wes and David wanted to talk about Trevor and Michael, Kurt wanted to talk about Blaine's family, and Blaine didn't want to talk at all; he needed something to help him forget this entire day even happened. And, as Santana had said, it was just his luck that the exact escape he was looking for was staring him in the face.

Blaine was across the room and snatching the bottle out of Santana's hand before anyone even had time to process he'd done it.

"Hey! You're sharing that, hobbit. I didn't just bring that for you."

Just as he had unscrewed the cap and was tipping the glass container to take a sip—or gulp, whichever—it was being ripped out of his hands.

"Kurt," he said, voice low, "give it back."

"Not a chance in hell."

In one swift movement, the liquid was being poured down the sink.

Santana cried out in protest, the blonde girl beside her finally piping up to say, "It's okay, San, I saw lots more at your house."

"Doesn't matter; that was expensive shit!"

"Go out back, Santana. That's where everyone else is." Kurt's voice had that tired tone to it again, and it killed Blaine even more this time.

His one shred of hope had just swirled down into the sewage system and he couldn't even really bring himself to do anything about it, so he just observed.

"Yeah, your party is just going to be _so much fun_ without alcohol."

"It's long overdue that you learn how to have fun sober. Go. Puck is out there, I'm sure you two can find something sufficiently criminal to do together. Just try not to burn anything down, okay?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Come on, Britts." She took the blonde's hand and started leaving the room, calling over her shoulder, "And you're paying me back for that!"

Kurt sighed and set the bottle down on the counter.

"Your friends sure are…"

Wes trailed off, so David finished, "colorful."

"That's being very generous," Kurt replied, heading over to where Blaine was now standing in the doorway. He took Blaine's face in his hands yet again, forcing him to look him directly in the eyes. "I'm not going to let you do that again, Blaine. Alcohol is _not _the answer to your problems."

"It could be if you loosened my leash a little," Blaine spat, throwing Kurt's hands away and taking a couple steps to the side.

Even as he did it, he knew he shouldn't have. Kurt wasn't who he was mad at; Kurt was the _last _person he wanted to be mad at. His boyfriend was being nothing but supportive right now, and here he was taking out his anger on him. It wasn't fair. Was this how it was always going to be? If so, he didn't know how much longer he could put Kurt through that. He could already hear it in Kurt's voice, the toll their relationship was taking on him.

"Don't take it out on Kurt, Blaine, he's just trying to help." David had on his Stern Voice, the one he always used when Blaine got out of hand like this. And for some reason, that just pissed him off more than anything.

"Help? I don't need fucking help. Look at me. I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"

"No, I don't," Kurt answered calmly.

"Well, my parents do, and if you don't even have your own parents, who do you have? I have nobody. I'm on my own; always have been, always will be."

"Blaine Daniel Anderson." Kurt's demeanor immediately shifted at Blaine's words. He moved to stand directly in front of Blaine again, glaring hard at him but careful not to touch him. "You can be angry, and you can use all the crude language you want, and you can say all the hurtful things you want, because I know at the end of the day you don't mean them and you'll fall into my arms sobbing about it later, but you will _not _stand there and tell me that you are _alone._ In just this kitchen, you have Wes and David standing behind me. At home, you have Laurel. Upstairs, you have Burt and Carole. In the backyard, you have Finn and Trent and a majority of the New Directions, all of which would probably stick up for you if the need arose simply because you're my boyfriend and they know I love you.

"Did you catch that last part? _I love you. I _am here for you. I have been here for you since the day we met and I have not taken a step back once since then. Don't you _dare_ stand there and say to me that you have _nobody_; that you're _alone._ You and I both know that isn't true. It hurts me to hear you say that; it hurts me to watch you yell at me and rip yourself away from me and completely discount everything I've done for you. Don't you care about that? Don't you care about how I feel?"

"No offense, Kurt, but right now isn't really about how _you_ feel," Blaine snapped.

For a moment, Blaine was positive Kurt would slap him. This was the part where Trevor would have done it, if he hadn't long before. Kurt raised a hand and there was just that second where Blaine was absolutely sure he was going to do it, but then he didn't. He clenched his fist and brought it back down to his side.

"Fine. You're right. Right now, it's about you. It's about you, and your parents, and your brother. The thing is, Blaine, you've already talked about it. This is normally the point where you just want to escape, normally with sleep, but when Santana walked in with that tequila, you saw that as your open opportunity, didn't you? Who needs sleep when you can just drink the night away, forget all the pain and the hurt and how much life just _sucks _sometimes, am I right?"

Blaine opened his mouth to say yes, that was exactly what he needed, but Kurt ploughed on.

"No. I'm not letting you do that. It's not healthy, Blaine. You heard Santana; I tried that route for a couple of months when the bullying just got to be too much to deal with. But you know what? It didn't help. It made me forget about it for a few hours and then I woke up feeling worse than before, and when I went back to school, guess what? My problems were still there; Karofsky was still there; the slushie machine was _still there._ It's fun for a little while, if you keep track and make sure you're using it in moderation, but alcohol doesn't take away your problems, it just adds to them. And right now, you don't need any more problems to deal with. It already kills me to see how much you have to deal with; we're not adding alcoholism to the list."

The kitchen fell silent.

Kurt was right. He couldn't do this to himself; to _Kurt_. He was already hurting Kurt enough with everything, he couldn't keep doing this. Kurt deserved better than this.

"Okay," Blaine said.

Kurt reached up a tentative hand, letting it hover just beside Blaine's head. Blaine knew he was testing the waters, seeing if touching was allowed now, so he took the hand in his and kissed Kurt's palm.

"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered against Kurt's skin, making his way to Kurt's wrist and around the top of his hand.

"I know."

A girl's voice broke into the house. "Finn? Kurt? Is everyone out back? You know, it's very rude to host a party and not answer the door when your guests knock as they arrive. There should be some sort of system, a sign on the door or—Oh, you're in the kitchen. Hello, Kurt. Is this Blaine? Hello, Blaine, my name is Rachel Berry. It's a pleasure to meet you. Kurt has told me so much about you; it's lovely to finally see your face. You know, I have two gay dads, and from the pictures of you two from Kurt's phone, you guys remind me of them. They wanted me to tell you that you make a lovely couple. Kurt, is Finn in the backyard? Never mind, I see him through the glass door, I'll just head out back, since I'm assuming that's where the party is being centered. I'm left to assume because you have no sign. You should really rectify that."

As soon as Rachel Berry had appeared in their midst, she disappeared.

"What…" Wes started.

"The hell…" David continued.

"Was that?" Wes finished.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "_That _was Miss Rachel Berry. A handful, I know."

"I'm a little scared to meet the rest of Kurt's friends," David said.

"That's about all of them," Kurt told them, kissing Blaine on the forehead. "There's only one that has yet to arrive."

Almost as if by the sheer mention of her she showed up, a second blonde with shorter hair was standing in front of them.

"Hey, Kurt. It's nice to see you. You must be Blaine, Kurt talks about you all the time." The girl held her hand out to Blaine, who was still rather wrapped up in Kurt but shook it nonetheless. "I'm Quinn."

"Great to meet you, Quinn," Blaine returned.

"I apologize for Rachel, I tried to rein her in on the ride over here, but it seemed that I only riled her up even more. I'm sorry."

"Did you two drive here together?" Kurt asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yes; we've actually started to hang out this summer, which you would know if you ever spent time with anyone other than your gorgeous boyfriend."

Blaine blushed, about to offer his own apologies for hogging Kurt, but was cut off by Wes.

"He's been ignoring you too? Blaine's been blowing us off for weeks for Kurt!"

"I don't believe we've met," Quinn said, walking over to Wes and David. "I'm Quinn."

"Wes."

"David."

"We're Blaine's besties," Wes offered with a smile.

"Pleased to meet you. Shall we go join the party?"

Wes and David looked at Kurt and Blaine, silently asking if everything was under control again.

"Go ahead," Kurt answered aloud. "We'll be right out."

The trio headed to the backyard, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone. The second they heard the sliding door shut on all the noise from outside, Blaine threw his arms around Kurt and held on tight.

"How do you do that?" He muttered into Kurt's neck.

"Do what?"

"You always know exactly what to say to make me sane again without talking to me like a mental patient."

"You're not a mental patient, Blaine. You just have problems; we all do. I've got baggage too, remember?"

Blaine laughed, breath hot against Kurt's skin, as he remembered them quoting those very words from _RENT _in the arboretum on their first date.

"I remember."

They held each other for a few more minutes before finally rejoining the party after a tumultuous evening.

Nick and Jeff showed up ten minutes later, followed closely by Laurel who brought Burt and Carole downstairs and out to the party. Everyone got along great, just like Kurt and Blaine both knew they would; Kurt's friends loved Blaine, and Blaine's friends adored Kurt. The boys' worlds came together seamlessly, like they were made to fit together.

Blaine decided that maybe that's because they were. He was so wrong earlier when he said that he was on his own; that was one of the mean things he said when he was blinded by rage. Surrounded by friends and family, he could see that clearly. Because, he really was surrounded by his family. He may not have a mother or a father, and his real brother may be kept from him, but family is not defined by genetics. Laurel, of course, was his family, but he also knew that Burt and Carole were his family, Finn was his family, Wes and David were his family, and _Kurt _was his family.

At the end of the day, Kurt was his _home._ They say "Home is where the heart is." Just like Laurel said all those weeks ago, Blaine had already handed Kurt his heart on a silver platter. Wherever Kurt was, that was his home, because that was where his heart was.

One day, maybe, he'd be able to contact his brother. When Alex was older, much older, and able to make his own decisions, Blaine would reach out to him. He'd have Laurel help him out if necessary, since she still kept in contact with some of their biological family members. He knew that for the years until then, his heart would ache, knowing the kind of environment Alex was being raised in.

But Kurt reminded him every day that in spite of being brought up by such awful parents, he was turning out to be an okay human being. He still couldn't accept that he was a good person, as Kurt so adamantly insisted, but he didn't think he was bad anymore. Like Kurt, and Jonathan Larson, said: "I've got baggage, too." Everyone has issues. It's how you work through them that define you.

…

Later that night, after all the guests had gone home and Finn had agreed to clean up, Blaine, Kurt, Laurel, Wes, and David all headed over to Blaine and Laurel's apartment. Wes and David agreed to sleep over instead of driving home so late. Blaine and Kurt retired to the bedroom early at Kurt's insistence, but even after Kurt was out like a light, Blaine still couldn't sleep. And lying in bed with Kurt splayed across his chest, elbow digging into his lower abdomen, made him realize that he suddenly had to pee.

As carefully as he could, he slipped out from under Kurt and tiptoed out of the room, shutting the door behind him quietly and padding to the bathroom. He stopped in his tracks when he heard the voices in the living room.

"It was amazing, Laurel. I've never seen Blaine come back so fast like that." That was Wes.

"Kurt certainly does have a certain way with Blaine that I can't quite put my finger on," Laurel agreed.

"No," David insisted, "you should have seen it. One second, Blaine was practically foaming at the mouth, and the next, he was kissing Kurt's hands. All just because of what Kurt said to him. Do you remember, it used to take us _hours_ to get Blaine to cut that angry bullshit out? Kurt managed to bring him back in under 10 minutes. The guy is magic."

"I know. They're good for each other. When I first met Kurt, he had this whole confident air, but you could just tell it was fake; on the inside, he was this insecure, scared little boy. Now, that's not fake. Kurt really is just happy and has this exuberance that can only be attributed to Blaine's influence. And Blaine, well, you saw for yourself how good Kurt is for him. They balance each other out; it's like they were literally created to be together."

David added, "And they're in love. You can see it in their eyes, in the way they interact with each other."

"Awww, you guys, our little boy is all grown up!" Wes exclaimed, and Blaine could just imagine him fanning his face with his hand, pretending to tear up.

Blaine, on the other hand, really did have tears in his eyes. Everything they were saying was old news to him, but sometimes it felt like Kurt was just a figment of his imagination, a conjuration by his brain to keep him sane. But hearing them talk about him and Kurt, knowing that they saw what he felt all along, comforted him.

He had a loving boyfriend. He had a loving family.

For the first time in his life, Blaine Anderson had everything he ever wanted.

**GOODNESS GRACIOUS! Guys, this just happened. Like, literally, I sat at my laptop all day just writing this, letting it fall from my head and onto the screen. It all just tumbled out of me and I couldn't even stop it. I hope it isn't awful.**

**Reviews make my heart go WEEEE! :)**


	20. Last Day

**I am SO sorry for the delay, guys. It's been hectic. I've been swamped with classes, sorority stuff, and 5 hour rehearsals every evening (the time when NORMALLY I'd be writing) for the mainstage play at my school. Fortunately, this is the last week since the show opens on Tuesday, so I'll be free soon!**

**Anyway, here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy. :)**

_August 24, 2012_

It was Blaine's last full day in Ohio before he'd be hopping on a plane the next day and heading off to New York City, a place he had only ever dreamed of having the opportunity to go to, much less live in. He awoke early, before Kurt even, and maneuvered out of bed with the intention of going to the kitchen to start breakfast.

When he hit the living room and saw Wes sleeping on the couch, and David sleeping on the floor in front of the couch, the events of the previous day came flooding back to him.

"Fuck," he whispered, slapping a hand to his forehead and running it down the length of his face.

Wes, the lightest sleeper on earth, woke with a jolt and rolled off of the couch, right on top of David, successfully waking the latter boy at the same time.

"Ow, shit, what the hell? Wes, get off me! Damn it, I knew that would happen if I slept here. I told you you should have let me have the couch."

"That wouldn't have been fair! The couch is way more comfortable than the floor!"

"Exactly! What made you deserve it more than me?"

"Guys," Blaine whispered, kicking them both. "Your bickering is cute and all but please try to keep it to a minimum, okay? Kurt's still sleeping and I don't want to wake him up."

Both men on Blaine's floor whipped their heads up to him, mumbled a "sorry" and promptly went back to fighting, now in hushed tones.

"Why are you even still on top of me? Get off!"

"I'm trying! The coffee table is in the way! And I just woke up! Give me a break!"

"I just woke up too! Want to know why? Because you _fell on me!"_

"It was an accident! Blaine woke me up!"

Shaking his head, Blaine turned and continued his path to the kitchen. He really wanted to make a great breakfast to show his gratitude to Kurt for all he did for him yesterday, and Wes and David of course, but he knew that if he made something like eggs or pancakes or sausage or bacon, Kurt wouldn't touch it. So instead, he went to the fridge and pulled out the green grapes, green apples, bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and basically any other fruit he could find to wash and throw into a bowl. He made sure, though, that before he really started on the fruit bowl, he started a pot of coffee, knowing that after the night they had, everyone in the house would need it.

With the coffee brewing, he started back to work on the fruit bowl, ears perking when he heard footsteps, and sniffing, and turned around to find Wes and David coming into the room, Wes's nose high up in the air.

"Is that coffee, I smell?"

"Yep. And if you're really nice, I might let you have some."

"Ew," Wes's face contorted in disgust. "I hope you don't think that fruit is a suitable breakfast for me. I was expecting something a little more…greasy."

David slapped the back of Wes's head. "That's not nice, dumbass. Looks like no coffee for you."

"Good; that means more for me," Laurel said, yawning and scratching the side of her head. Though, how she managed to get her fingers through the giant lion's mane on her head was beyond Blaine's comprehension. Must be a girls thing.

"Good morning, Laurel," Blaine greeted with a smile.

Honestly, even though seeing Wes and David reminded him of what happened yesterday, seeing them also gave him comfort. He remembered how he felt afterward, just sitting at the party talking with friends, some old and some new; he'd realized how much he didn't need his parents. That was still true. Wes and David were great older brothers, and Laurel was the epitome of a perfect older sister, and Burt and Carole (whom he could now call by their first names) were basically his new parents. He had a family; he just couldn't see it before.

Now that he could, it made him genuinely feel happy and want to smile.

The thought made him laugh to himself, recalling a Youtube video that Jeff had posted on his Facebook wall a couple weeks ago. It was something about Marcel the Shell, a shell with eyes and shoes glued to it. In the video, Marcel was speaking to an "interviewer" of sorts, and he said, "Ask me why I smile. Because it's worth it."

It made Blaine smile even wider now that he understood, and truly believed in that statement.

"Um…Laurel…Blaine is starting to scare me," Wes said, jarring Blaine and making him realize that he had paused mid-cut on one of the strawberries.

"You know, I'm not even going to question it. If he's smiling, I'm smiling," she replied.

His cousin was hugging him before he even realized she had walked over to him. He was grateful for the embrace, though, and returned it fully, leaving the knife on the counter.

"Thank you," he tried to say, though it was muffled by her hair.

Laurel seemed to have no trouble hearing it, probably used to these kinds of problems with hair like that, and just squeezed him tighter. "Anytime."

Blaine felt wetness on the back of his neck, and heard sniffling, and pulled back to see Laurel crying. "Laur? Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing," she laughed, gathering the end of her sleeve in her hand and wiping at her eyes. "I'm just so proud of you, you know? And this is your last day with me. Tomorrow you'll be on a plane and going to New York and starting this whole new chapter of your life! You'll be in a city you've always dreamed of doing things you always wanted to and studying something you're really passionate about. You're getting the life I always wanted for you, and I'm just so happy for you. Especially since you're doing it all with Kurt. He's so good for you, and you're so good for each other; Wes and David and I were all talking about that last night. We're all just so happy for you and proud of you, Blaine. I'm just crying because I'm happy. That's all."

Crap. Now Blaine was crying too.

Knowing that nothing he could say would even come close to how he was feeling, he just brought Laurel in for another hug.

"I love you, Laur. You're my best friend."

"I love you, Blainers. You're _my_ best friend, too."

"Um, hello?" David called, raising his hand from where he and Wes stood in the doorway.

"What are we?" Wes added. "Chopped liver?"

Blaine laughed and opened his arms, leaving space for Wes and David to come join and turn it into a group hug.

"Come on, guys. You two are my besties, too. Get in here."

"David, should we forgive dear Blainers for leaving us out and only thinking to add us when we make ourselves known?"

"Wes, I believe we do, given that he kind of does that to us a lot."

Laurel rolled her eyes. "Just get over here, you couple of hooligans."

"Hooligans? Wes, she called us hooligans!"

"Well, she's called us worse before; I say we count it as a victory and join the hug."

"Don't mind if I do."

The four of them stood in the middle of the kitchen, arms all around each other, for about 10 seconds before Wes pulled away, declaring the entire situation more awkward than he gaged it to be since not a single one of them had brushed their teeth yet and he almost fainted.

So, as Wes and David retreated to the bathroom and used the back-up toothbrushes they had mysteriously hidden in Blaine's medicine cabinet, Blaine returned to making Kurt's fruit bowl and started some scrambled eggs and pancakes on the stove. The coffee was done, so Blaine dug around to get all of the mugs they owned—("Only four? Laurel, how do we only have four mugs?" "Well, it's only you and me, we only really need two, and then I guess we have a back-up set of two.")—and poured everyone a cup of coffee, setting them all at the table along with the milk, various flavours of creamer, and sugar.

The coffee had Wes and David drawn back to the table like moths to a flame, and also promptly shut them up, something which Laurel had never witnessed in all her years of knowing them. They stayed quiet when Blaine set the ready-for-eating pancakes and eggs on the table, giving them something else to focus their mouths on. He set the fruit bowl in front of the chair next to his, fixed his cup of coffee how he knew Kurt would like it, and started in on his own breakfast as his family all sat around the table eating theirs.

It was at that moment, when everyone was suddenly quiet, that Kurt woke up.

"You're up," Blaine stated. His eyes lit up when he saw Kurt appear in the doorway, and he was standing up and crossing the room before anyone else could voice their own greetings.

"Coffee?"

Blaine chuckled, used to his boyfriend's one-track mind when he first woke up. It had been an adjustment for them to just lay in bed when they woke up together, because normally the second Kurt was up he was downstairs and downing 3 cups of coffee before returning to his bathroom to start in on his morning routine, one not quite as intricate but almost at that same level with Rachel Berry's bedtime routine.

"There are only four mugs, and with Wes and David here, they're all occupied, so you and I are sharing."

He leaned forward and kissed Kurt on the forehead before lacing their fingers together and leading him to the table.

"You made me breakfast," Kurt said.

"Yeah, I figured you might not want the food I made for everyone else, since you never eat this kind of stuff at your own home or to my knowledge when you're here—although you always wake up before me so I can't be sure. But I thought it'd be safe to stick with fruit."

"It's great, thank you. I'm in shock that I'm the last one awake."

"Blaine woke us up," Wes threw out.

"And they woke me up," Laurel added, jabbing her fork in Wes and David's direction.

"You missed the group hug," David told him.

Kurt's face scrunched up in a way that never ceased to make Blaine's heart melt. "Good. I hate group hugs."

"You hate group hugs? David, the kid hates group hugs. I'm not sure how much we can approve anymore. This changes everything."

David and Blaine made eye contact and rolled their eyes at the same time and just continued eating, ignoring how stupid their best friend could be sometimes. Laurel, without anyone having noticed, had gotten the newspaper and was sitting in her chair eating her own food and reading some article.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand under the table. "That's okay. I still love you even though you hate group hugs."

"Because as long as I hug you, that's all that counts, right?" Kurt asked, taking a sip of coffee before handing off the mug to Blaine, who took it and smiled, saying, "Exactly," and taking his own sip.

He heard gagging sounds and, reluctantly, turned his attention from his beautiful boyfriend to his idiotic best friends across the table. David was doubled over, leaning towards the ground while Wes patted his back.

"So gross," David groaned, trying to make it sound like he was really throwing up. "They're so cute I threw up my breakfast."

"The breakfast that was only mediocre," Wes nodded, rubbing circles on David's back with a sympathetic look. "I hope Kurt is a good cook because if not I don't know how they're going to cope when they get married and have to cook for themselves."

Kurt scoffed. "I'm an _excellent _cook, thank you very much."

The hand Wes had on David's back flew to his chest as he sighed in relief and David straightened up in his chair. "Oh, thank God."

"So, Blaine," Laurel started, effectively ending the antics of Dumb (David) and Dumber (Wes) as Blaine affectionately referred to them in his head. "What do you want to do today, on your last day in Ohio?"

"Hmm…" He took another swig of coffee while he thought, and still looking off into the distance handed the cup to Kurt, who finished it off and kissed the top of Blaine's head on his way to pour them another cup. "I have no idea."

Making everyone at the table jump, Wes's hand shot in the air; he waved his arm around like a madman, shouting, "Oh! Me! Pick me! I know! Pick me!"

Blaine sighed. "Wes? Did you have an idea?"

Wes's arm fell to the table and he collapsed, looking exhausted. "Yes. Ready?"

"I am more than ready to hear whatever craziness you are about to suggest."

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Wes."

"David, I don't think he's ready."

"I don't know, Wes, he looks pretty ready."

"But how can you tell if he's ready? I need to be absolutely positive that he's ready."

"For fuck's sake, Wes, out with it!"

Wes gasped. "Blainers! Such language!"

Kurt returned to his seat and handed the coffee cup off to Blaine. "He cusses a lot in the mornings."

"Well, I know, but goodness! Not in front of your boyfriend, Blaine!" David added, looking equally scandalized.

Kurt rolled his eyes and slipped his hand onto Blaine's thigh, smirking. "He also cusses a lot when we're—"

"LA, LA, LA! DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Wes yelled, fingers in his ears and fleeing the room.

Blaine grinned and turned to Kurt. "You found a way to get rid of him. How can I ever repay you?"

"I can think of a few ways," Kurt replied.

They leaned in for a kiss when David shouted out, "Uhh, still here guys! Keep your hands to yourselves! Geez, we're at the dinner table!"

"It's breakfast," Kurt pointed out.

"Same rules apply. Laurel, how are you okay with this? They're making out and throwing googly eyes at each other!"

"I've had to live with it for months now. I'm used to it."

"DAVID, ARE THEY DONE YET? CAN ME AND MY VIRGIN EYES COME BACK NOW?"

"My virgin eyes and I," Blaine corrected absently.

"All clear, buddy!"

Wes swept back into the room, hands covering his eyes even though he was obviously peeking through. "Phew." He dropped his hands and returned to the table. "Now, like I was saying, I have an idea for the day, and to avoid another incident like the one that just took place, I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you my idea."

"Wonderful."

"Laser-tag!"

Immediately, Blaine opened his mouth to protest, because he was so sure that whatever nonsense was going to come from Wes would need to be instantaneously vetoed, but really, it wasn't a bad idea. Laser-tag actually sounded like a lot of fun. Plus, the thought of him and Kurt against Wes and David sounded like the best idea in history.

Blaine smiled, an evil glint in his eye. "You're on."

Wes and David fist-pumped at the same time, then high-fived while their hands were in the air and brought their arms back down at the same time. Blaine suspected it was a move they'd practiced together.

"Yes! Awesome! This is going to be epic. Laurel, are you in? You get to choose whose team you're on, me and David or Kurt and Blaine. Although, I'd recommend joining your cousin and cousin-in-law, because they're gonna need all the help they can get."

"Yeah, right. Kurt and I are going to kick your asses."

Laurel laughed, picking up her plate and coffee mug and standing up. "No, that's okay. You guys go ahead."

Blaine grabbed his plate and followed her. "Are you sure, Laur?"

"Absolutely. As long as I get you for dinner and a movie later. Sound fair?"

"Sounds _perfect_," Blaine smiled, setting his plate down in the sink next to Laurel. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "You pick the movie."

"On your last night with me? Not a chance. You're picking."

"Fine. I pick that you pick."

Laurel laughed and ruffled his hair. "Doesn't work that way. Sorry, kiddo. I'll give you the day to think about it, though. Just have one picked by tonight."

"Yeah, yeah. Wes, David, you guys go start getting ready first. Kurt is going to take _hours._"

Kurt started to protest but stopped and shrugged his shoulders. "It's true. You guys better go ahead. Blaine and I can get ready at the same time, anyway. He can take a shower while I do my moisturizing routine."

David almost spit out his mouthful of coffee. "You guys get ready in the bathroom together?"

Blaine's cheeks colored.

That was something they'd started doing recently. It wasn't that they'd seen each other naked, because they hadn't, but they had reached the shirtless stage, and with it a new level of comfort with each other. They practically lived together; they slept together, changed together, ate together, watched movies together, read together. Really, they were at the point in their relationship where the only thing they _hadn't _done was get naked together. Even that, though, Blaine knew was only a matter of time. If Kurt was okay with one of them being naked with only a shower curtain separating them, he was obviously getting to the point where he'd be okay with it if they took away the shower curtain.

"Oh my God, Wes, I bet they _shower together._"

"They better not," Laurel said, glaring at Blaine.

Blaine threw his hands up in surrender. "Hey, they said it, not me! I still remember our talk."

Laurel narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing him, and Blaine recognized it as her look when she was trying to tell if he was lying or not. She seemed to find her answer and relented. "Fine. I trust you."

"Thank you. Now, if Dumb and Dumber over there are done being nuisances, you two are free to go get dressed. As in, _go. Now._"

"Alright, fine, we're going! No need to get all bitchy," Wes said.

"Someone obviously didn't get any last night," David added.

They left the room to go get ready after that, leaving the remaining three to sigh in relief. Blaine felt that sometimes dealing with those two was like looking after toddlers.

Laurel folded all of her fingers down except for her index and middle fingers, pointing them at her eyes and then at Blaine, then at her eyes and then at Kurt. "I'm watching you two."

With that, she followed suit and left to, presumably, go to her own room.

Blaine blew out a breath and smiled sheepishly at Kurt. "Sorry. I know Wes and David are a handful."

"They're…hyperactive, yes, but enjoyable all the same. I can see why you like them so much."

Kurt stood up and walked over to Blaine, throwing his arms around Blaine's neck and kissing him properly. All of the tension immediately left his body and he allowed himself to just sink into Kurt, into Kurt's body, Kurt's embrace, Kurt's lips. He loved that just a simple touch of their lips could relax him so completely.

"Mmm, good morning to you, too, love," Blaine murmured against Kurt's lips.

"Less talking, more kissing."

"Yes, sir."

…

Almost three hours later, the group was _finally _ready to go. David called shotgun, which Blaine vetoed because he was driving and his boyfriend gets automatic shotgun privileges, something that Wes and David complained about the entire drive to laser-tag. They even went so far as to start kicking the backs of the front seats, but that was put to an end pretty quickly when Kurt swiveled around in his seat and threatened to turn this car around and go back home. Wes and David were perfect angels after that.

Once they were there and getting geared up, the employee helping them told them that they had to pick nicknames. There was a binder of suggestions, which Wes went crazy over, and in the end, their nicknames were as follows:

Wes: BlueWarrior1111

David: KlaineLover69

Blaine: ChiaPet

Kurt: Soulmate

Blaine's nickname made Kurt laugh outright, and Kurt's nickname made Blaine smile sweetly and give his boyfriend a kiss, which promptly had David gagging and coming up with his nickname, making Kurt and Blaine both roll their eyes. Wes's nickname was surprisingly tame, if not a little stupid with all the ones at the end. When it came time to pick the color of their teams, though, it made everyone confused because Wes insisted that he and David be red.

"You can't have the nickname of BlueWarrior1111 and be the red team! It doesn't make any sense! It's just going to make everything confusing and complicated!"

They finally decided that even though it didn't make sense, Wes and David would be the red team and Kurt and Blaine would be the blue team—("It's fine, Blaine, this shade of blue goes better with my skin tone anyway and I've already disinfected the blue team guns for us."). Once they were all geared up with their guns and nicknames and everything was ready, the employee let them loose in the room, and Kurt immediately took control. Blaine guessed that he should have been surprised that his boyfriend was as amazing at something as ridiculous as _laser-tag,_ but it made sense. Kurt was a cheerleader, meaning he was graceful, quiet with his steps, and flexible to crouch into positions to pounce out and attack; he was clever, meaning he could come up with strategies Blaine himself never would have thought up and thus outsmarting Wes and David. They were so good, in fact, that Kurt and Blaine got in a couple minutes of making out in a dark corner before Wes started whining that it wasn't any fun if they were just going to sneak off and have sex.

When the buzzer sounded and time was up, Wes and David started taunting Kurt and Blaine, rubbing it in their faces how they were better and they won and Kurt and Blaine should bow down and praise them as their kings…until the employee handed them each a score sheet, which showed the Red Team at 270 points and the Blue Team at 820 points.

"How is that even possible? I know we did better than that! I demand a recount!" David shouted. He rounded on Wes. "This is all _your _fault!"

"My fault? How is it _my _fault?"

"You're Asian! You should have known that Kurt was a ninja!"

Wes sounded scandalized. "That is _racist!_"

"Oh, don't talk to _me_ about racist! You told me to put on sunglasses and not to open my mouth because if they couldn't see my eyes or teeth I was basically invisible in the dark!"

Blaine tuned them out and turned to his boyfriend, who was trying to unbuckle the gear and get out of it. It was stuck, and he was having trouble, so Blaine came over and placed his hands over where Kurt's were. "Let me help."

Kurt smirked. "Yes, sir."

The implications of when one of them had last said that was not lost on either of them.

As Blaine started working on the buckles, looking at the straps and figuring out how to get them off of Kurt, he realized just how they were placed; the straps were hugging around Kurt's thighs and hips in such a way that it almost framed Kurt's crotch, practically _begging _Blaine to notice. So, really, when he got distracted and was just sort of staring down, it wasn't his fault, but the straps'.

"Blaine? Do _you _need some help?"

Painfully, Blaine looked up into Kurt's amused eyes. "Sorry…I, uh…" He was blushing, he knew he was, but thank God Wes and David were too wrapped up in their argument to notice what was happening with him and Kurt, or he'd have never heard the end of it. "I was just…"

He glanced down again, unable to help himself; Kurt followed his gaze and turned even redder than Blaine when he realized just what Blaine was so enraptured by.

"Oh," Kurt murmured.

They both fell silent after that, and Blaine chanced a look up to see Kurt's eyes latched on to the same place, only on Blaine's own body. He was absolutely positive by now that they were both redder than the colors on Wes and David's laser-tag gear.

A moment too late, he realized that it wasn't just the two of them that were silent, but everyone in the room, a fact that was brought to his attention when he heard David say, "So, are you two just going to stare at each other's junk all day or can you guys take off the gear so we can go?"

While Blaine was dying of embarrassment, Kurt fixed David with one of his patented bitch glares that Blaine saw him direct at Finn most of the time and replied very cooly, "Oh, don't be such a sore loser, David. Face it, Blaine and I are just better than you."

David was now completely focused on the game again. "No way! You've never even played laser-tag before today! It was beginner's luck!"

"Really? How much do you want to bet?"

"Twenty bucks! Round two, if you and Blaine win Wes and I each give you twenty bucks—"

"Hey! I'm not giving them anything!"

"—if we win, you guys owe _us _twenty bucks _and _I get shotgun _and _you two aren't allowed to make googly eyes at each other for the rest of the day!"

A slow smirk made its way onto Kurt's face as he held out his hand to shake. "Deal."

…

"You owe me twenty bucks. Both of you."

"It's just not fair! How did they beat us _again?_"

"This is your fault, Wes!"

"How is it always my fault?"

"It just is! Now Kurt gets shotgun again and we're both out twenty bucks and they're going to have eye-sex the entire way home now that they both have the mental picture of what the other's package looks like with that stupid gear. I hope you're happy, Wesley. I hope you're happy now."

Of course, Kurt being Kurt, seized the open opportunity to sing _Wicked_. _"I hope you're happy how you've hurt your cause forever, I hope you think you're clever!"_

Blaine laughed and joined in. _"I hope you're happy! I hope you're happy too! I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!"_

They shared a look, agreeing with their eyes to continue together. They harmonized beautifully, as always, singing, "_So though I can't imagine how, I hope you're happy right now."_

The couple collapsed into each other in giggles, Blaine pinning Kurt to the passenger side door of the car and leaning his forehead on Kurt's collarbone. Wes and David stood on either side of the car in front of the backseat doors. "Can you two stop flirting for a second to unlock the car so Wes and I can at least sit down and escape the sexual tension?"

When Blaine lifted his head, Kurt reached a hand up to brush a stray curl out of Blaine's eyes as he absentmindedly hit the unlock button on his keychain. He heard the doors opening and closing, but didn't really register it as Kurt stared up at him—(he was sort of slouched now, making Blaine taller for once)—with those piercing eyes of his.

"Hi," Kurt whispered, a soft smile gracing his features and lighting up his whole face.

Blaine would never understand how he got so lucky as to fall in love with the most beautiful person on the planet. "Hi."

"Good work today, Chia Pet."

"That was all you, Soulmate. I had no idea you were going to be so good at this game. We would have gone a long time ago."

"Yeah, well, I can't help it that I'm just naturally good at everything."

"And you _look good _in everything, too," Blaine added, propping himself against the car with one hand and placing the other hand on Kurt's left hip.

Kurt slid his gaze down to where Blaine's hand was dangerously close to his back pocket and back up to his eyes. Blaine could practically _feel _the charge surging through the air around them; Wes and David were right, their sexual tension was palpable, and Blaine was suddenly wishing that he and Kurt could go back to the house and take a shower together like they suggested earlier.

"We should, um…" Kurt's voice wavered, and Blaine realized that he was back to being that same nervous boy about sexual situations like when they first met. "We should go back to your house."

Neither of them moved.

"Yeah. Wes and David should probably be heading home soon," Blaine agreed.

They still didn't move.

"I should be going home too, to give you and Laurel some family time."

Blaine nodded, only bringing his face closer to his boyfriend's. It was true, he needed—and wanted—alone time with Laurel that evening, but he also wanted to spend time with Kurt. Blaine was flying, but Kurt's dad had insisted on driving him to New York, so they wouldn't get another chance to see each other until they were both already in New York. Even though he wanted to have time with Laurel, he also wanted one last night in Ohio with the boyfriend he found there.

"I have an idea. How early do you have to wake up tomorrow?"

Kurt shrugged, sliding his hands up the front of Blaine's shirt, resting them on his pecs and fisting the cloth there. "Around 6am. Dad wants to be packed and hitting the road by 8:30am."

"Okay. How opposed are you to sneaking out with me tonight? Say, around midnight?"

"If it's to spend time with you, I'm not opposed at all. What are you thinking?"

Blaine smirked and replied, "You'll see," taking them both back to their first date, when Kurt had said the same thing.

"Oh, you are just _evil._"

"Yeah? Let's see how evil I can be."

Finally relieving both of them, Blaine leaned forward and pressed their lips together. They probably would have stayed there forever, kissing and touching and feeling, both in the physical and emotional sense, if Wes hadn't started banging on the window.

"Quit making out and let's go! Mom wants me home for dinner!" he shouted through the closed window.

"Your friends are impossible," Kurt said, laughing and pulling away.

"It's like dealing with children."

Kurt was looking at Blaine with the most intense Love Look yet. "Yes, but they're _our _children."

Hearing those words, and combining them with how Alex had looked on Kurt's hip, and the way Kurt had turned around and made Wes and David behave earlier on the car ride here, Blaine realized not for the first time that he and Kurt would be together for the rest of their lives. It was no longer just an assumption by two people who were young and in love; there was no doubt in his mind that he and Kurt would get married, and have children, and grow old together.

And Blaine was more than ready to begin.

…

Blaine collapsed onto the couch with a loud sigh, throwing himself all across, and thus landing his back right over Laurel's lap.

"I'm exhausted."

"I'm sure you are. You were carting around Dumb and Dumber all day."

"Yeah. But it was good to see them before I left. I haven't really had a lot of time to hang out with them this summer."

"Because you were wrapped up in Kurt," Laurel pointed out.

He sighed again, but this time it was more happy than tired. "Yeah. Kurt. You know, at laser-tag today, he chose his nickname to be Soulmate. I almost started squealing like a giddy 13-year-old girl."

Laurel barked out a laugh and patted Blaine's stomache. "I would have liked to have seen that."

"I said _almost._"

"You better have a movie picked out by now, mister. I gave you all day to think about it."

"Let's watch…_Milk_."

"_Again?_ Will you ever grow tired of that movie?"

"Hey! You said I get to pick! It's a really inspirational movie. It got me through the toughest part of my life, when I thought that everyone would hate me forever for being gay because my parents did. That movie is really important to me, just like you, so I want to watch it with you tonight on my last night at home. Okay?"

Laurel's face softened as she looked down at him. "Okay. Fine. Get up so I can put the movie in. Do you want popcorn?"

"Is that even a question?" Blaine asked, swinging the bottom half of his body off the couch to let Laurel up, then throwing himself right back on the couch. "And I know I don't need to tell you how to make it, but just don't forget—"

"I know, I know. Pop one bag, pour into bowl, microwave cup of half a stick of butter, pour it onto first bag of popcorn in bowl while the second one pops, add second bag to bowl, mix well. I've got it, Blainers."

Blaine smiled to himself. Yeah, he basically had the best family anyone could ever ask for.

When Laurel returned, popcorn made to Blaine's specific preferences, they started the movie. Laurel sat further down so that Blaine could still lie down and have his legs lay across her lap, and they set the popcorn on Blaine's stomache for easy access by both of them. They watched the movie in silence, because both of them were the type of person who hated when people spoke during movies, and just enjoyed each other's presence.

It would be hard, Blaine knew, to be away from Laurel. He'd gotten used to seeing Laurel and being with her almost all day every day. Even when he was in school, she taught there, so they were constantly passing each other in hallways and one time he even had her class. Laurel was a constant in his life, just like breathing, and he honestly didn't know what he was going to do when he didn't have her anymore. He knew he would have Kurt, and that was comforting since he'd initially thought he would be all alone in New York, but Kurt and Laurel both served very different functions in his life. They were on the same level of importance, both equally his best friends, but on two completely separate planes. Having Kurt wouldn't be the same as having Laurel.

By the time the credits started rolling, Blaine's mind wasn't even on the movie anymore. He glanced over at Laurel and found her crying.

He laughed. "You know, for all your grumbling, I know you secretly love this movie just as much as I do."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I do. You know me, I'm into politics and everything, and you're so special to me, I'm a big advocate for gay rights. I just hate what happened to Harvey Milk. He was such a good man. He didn't deserve what happened to him."

"I know."

"And the guy got off! Dan White got off without a scratch! With a stupid _Twinkie defense!_ That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard of. See, this is why I wanted to go into politics, so that I can change asinine stuff like this."

Blaine looked down at his shirt and started plucking at invisible threads around the hem. "But you got stuck with me and had to become a high school teacher."

"Hey, no, look at me." Laurel reached across to lay a hand over one of Blaine's. "I did not get stuck with you, Blaine. I wanted you. I made the decision to have you live with me and to teach at Dalton. Those were things I chose for myself because you are more important to me than anything. I will fight to the death for you, and for your rights. Maybe with you going to NYU, in a couple of years I can revisit the grad school idea. But right now, _you _are my priority. That's how I want it, and that's how I like it, okay? It makes me happy to take care of you."

In a flash, Blaine launched himself at Laurel, squeezing her in his arms with his legs still folded awkwardly across her lap. That didn't matter, though. Nothing mattered except for how unconditionally loved Blaine was, and how much he was mentally slapping himself for never seeing it before. He couldn't hate himself for it, though. Not when he felt so loved.

It was an honest mistake. When you're repeatedly shown that you're worthless, you begin to believe it. For a while, that was _all _Blaine was told. How worthless he was, how wrong he was, how out of control and volatile he was, how mean he was. All negative, all the time. Now, though, he was being repeatedly shown how loved he was. How smart he was, how talented he was, how cared for he was, how kind he was. And for the first time, Blaine was beginning to believe it.

"Thank you so much. I know I tell you that all the time and it's probably losing some of its meaning, but I just need you to know how truly grateful I am for everything. You do so much for me, and some of it you don't even realize you're doing; it's just the natural effects of how much you love me. You probably get tired of it, of hearing 'thank you' all the time, but I just need you to hear it one last time before I'm miles and miles away and I won't be able to tell you every day anymore."

"That's okay. You can say it as many times as you want, really. I don't mind hearing you sing my praises," Laurel replied, teasing, but giving Blaine an extra squeeze to know that in all seriousness, she accepted his gratitude and loved him all the more for it.

Blaine chuckled and kissed the side of her head before pulling back. "You're starting to sound like Kurt."

"Speaking of Soulmate, I'm surprised you didn't have him stay tonight."

"Are you kidding? Tonight was _our _night. You and me. Kurt and I will have all the time in the world when we're both in New York. I just wanted to spend some alone time with the best older cousin I could ask for." He decided to leave out the part where he'd be sneaking out in a couple hours to go see said boyfriend.

And when the biggest smile he'd ever seen spread across Laurel's face, he knew he made the right choice in keeping their little tete-a-tete a secret.

"I love you, Blainers."

"I love you too, Laurel. So much so that I have grown accustomed to the nickname 'Blainers' and have deemed it acceptable for you to call me."

"Please. You and I both know that you've secretly loved the nickname your entire life and just pretended to hate it."

"Like you and _Milk_?"

"Precisely."

…

Approximately two hours later, as he'd predicted, Blaine had successfully snuck out of the house and headed over to Kurt's. At the moment, he was standing outside Kurt's bedroom window, ready to throw pebbles to catch his boyfriend's attention. The problem was, though, that Blaine couldn't see very well in the dark (no matter how many carrots he ate), so he couldn't seem to find any pebbles. He started throwing leaves, but given that Kurt's room was on the second story, they didn't even make it close.

With a sigh, Blaine abandoned his grand romantic gesture and sent Kurt a text.

_Open your window._

Not even thirty seconds later, the glass was sliding up and Kurt's face was peering down at him. "Blaine? What are you doing down there?"

"Where for art thou, Romeo?" Blaine replied, grinning goofily. In all honesty, as much as Blaine loved literature, he loathed Shakespeare. He wasn't even sure if those were the right words, or if those words were even spoken in the balcony scene—(there's a balcony scene, right?).

Kurt seemed charmed anyway. "My boyfriend, the clueless romantic."

"I wanted to throw pebbles, but I can't see very well in the dark, so I couldn't find any. Then I tried throwing leaves, but you can probably guess how well that worked out. So I decided to take advantage of modern technology to make this easier than me trying to climb your trellis."

"We don't have a trellis."

"Exactly."

Even in the dim lighting from Kurt's window, Blaine could tell Kurt had that Love Look again. Blaine had a feeling he'd be seeing that a lot from now until…well…forever.

"I'll be down in two minutes."

"Is that a regular two minutes or a special I'm-Kurt-so-I'm-going-to-moisturize-and-do-my-hair-and-choose-an-outfit-and-primp-in-the-mirror two minutes?"

"A mixture of both."

Before Blaine could say anything else, Kurt had already closed the window and disappeared into his room.

He retreated back to the car and waited patiently, leaning against the passenger door. After about five minutes, Kurt was opening the front door and shutting it gently behind him, then walking softly down the steps and the sidewalk path to Blaine.

"Took you long enough," Blaine teased, opening the door for Kurt.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe making fun of your partner is in the Romantic Rulebook."

"I added it in the margins."

Once they were on the road, Kurt reached over to fiddle with the radio when Blaine batted his hand away.

"Nope. This is a date and I have it planned down to a 't' and that includes the music. I've already connected my iPod and have it set on the right playlist, I just need you to press 'play.'"

"I must really love you to trust your taste in music. Also, why are we going on a date in the middle of the night? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just curious."

"Because nighttime is more magical, don't you think? It's been my experience that people become more vulnerable at night. They open up and say things they wouldn't during the day. I like to think it's because of what the dark symbolizes."

"And the dark would symbolize what exactly?" It wasn't asked in a condescending tone, but one of genuine curiosity, with a hint of amusement and adoration.

"The unknown. People who say they're afraid of the dark, they're not _really_ afraid of the dark; they're afraid of the _unknown_ that lies within it. When it's dark, you can't see, so even if there's nothing there, your imagination throws all of your worst fears into it. It's not the dark people are afraid of, it's the manifestation of all of their _real _fears and the possibility of them being staring them in the face and they aren't able to do a thing about it."

Kurt was silent for a moment, but finally asked softly, "What are you afraid of?"

He didn't answer right away; he wanted to really think about it. So, while he drove the familiar path to their destination, he searched his head for things that he was afraid of. There were plenty, some serious and some silly; failure, not being good enough, never achieving his goals, letting people down, turning back into the person he was when he was with Trevor, goats, poison ivy, the sound of a toilet flushing in the middle of the night. But really, with Kurt, none of them seemed that scary at all.

Even if he failed, he knew Kurt would be there to support him and encourage him to try again. As he was told several times, simply by being himself he was good enough for Kurt. If he went to NYU and got his degree and pursued a professional music career and couldn't make a living and had to resort to some mediocre back-up plan, it would be okay because he still had Kurt. He knew that nothing he ever did could let Kurt down, and Kurt would never let him become that person he was before. Kurt would never dare take him to a petting zoo or a farm, and if they ever happened to come in contact with poison ivy, he knew Kurt would be there with cream to help the pain and itching subside. He knew that when they lived together, Kurt would understand if Blaine never flushed the toilet if he had to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

He knew all of these things the way that he knew that he loved Kurt with every single part of him. It was just a fact of life. So really, at the end of the day, he didn't have any fears. Not with Kurt.

Which did leave him with one very real fear.

"Losing you," he replied finally, reaching over the console to take Kurt's hand.

Kurt squeezed his hand in return. "This is a very good romantic, middle-of-the-night date so far, Blaine Anderson."

"Only the best for you, Kurt Hummel."

Kurt knew where they were going. Blaine knew he knew because they had come here enough, both together and separately, that there was no way he wouldn't know. Still, Kurt didn't say anything. He didn't even hint that he knew where they were going. He just rested his head against the back of his seat and closed his eyes, a content smile gracing his features as they both just listened to the music and _existed._

When they got to the parking lot and Blaine started to get out of the car, though, Kurt wouldn't release his hand, effectively stopping him.

"Kurt, if we never get out of the car you won't get to see what awesome things I have planned."

"It's past midnight, Blaine. I don't think we're supposed to be here."

Blaine shrugged. "I never asked. And if you never ask, you never have to hear the 'no.' And if they never told me 'no,' how was I supposed to know it was against the rules?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling, so Blaine knew it was more just because rolling his eyes was a very Kurt thing to do. He opened the back door and grabbed his backpack, then shut it and locked the car, now that Kurt was standing in front of the hood.

"If you're bringing me here to do homework I _might _break up with you."

"No," Blaine laughed. He swung the other strap around so that both were securely around his shoulders and took Kurt's hand again. "Our relationship is very stable, I can assure you. I just needed something inconspicuous to carry my supplies."

"What supplies would you be referring to?"

"If you walk a little faster you'll find out in a few minutes."

"Forgive me for being fatigued after a day of running around with Wes and David and packing the rest of my belongings."

"Somehow, I think you'll survive."

Finally, they'd completed the well-worn path to their spot at the Arboretum. Even though it was Kurt and Kurt's mom's spot once, Blaine liked to think that when Kurt brought him there on their first date, it was an offer; it was Kurt's way of saying, I'm willing to let go of the negative feelings I've associated this place, and I'm trusting you to help me create positive ones. Blaine sincerely hoped he'd succeeded in that. If not, well, he was sure that tonight would seal the deal.

Kurt made to sit down, but Blaine reached out and touched his forearm, shaking his head. Kurt tilted his head quizzically but moved aside regardless as Blaine searched in his bag for the blanket. He shook it out and lay it flat on the ground, then fished around for the battery-powered lantern he had and set it beside the blanket, turning it on.

Sufficiently set up, Blaine gestured to the blanket and let Kurt settle down first before falling to the ground beside him.

"A lantern, Blaine? Really?"

"I already told you I can't see very well in the dark; I wanted to be able to see your face."

Kurt smirked and gave Blaine a playful shove on his shoulder. "Blaine! If this is your idea of seducing me, it won't work. We are not having sex for the first time _outside_."

"The thought actually did not cross my mind, but now I know what _you're _thinking about. Good to know."

Kurt shoved him again, but they were both laughing. Instead of straightening up after he fell to the side from being shoved, Blaine lay down and tugged Kurt on top of him, his head landing on Blaine's chest. Kurt sighed, sounding content to Blaine, and wrapped an arm around Blaine's waist. He nestled his head in Blaine's chest but kept his face tilted to see the sky. Blaine had one arm wrapped around Kurt and brought the other back to pillow his head.

Being in a small city, and given that the Arboretum wasn't in the heart of it, meant that they could see some stars. It wasn't a lot, but it was more than someone in a busy city could ever hope to see, and that was good enough for Blaine.

"Just think," Kurt started, voice soft, "we look up at that sky, and we think that we're seeing so many stars, you know? We think that just because we can't count them, that there's a lot. But think of all the ones we _can't _see. There are so many more out there. With all of our modern advances, us humans tend to think we're these hot shots. We send people out into space and talk about how awesome we are that we can accomplish that and we can go out and see the universe, but that's not true at all. We can't see the universe. We're only seeing a tiny, tiny fraction of it. Even our solar system, with our sun and our planets and our earth, isn't even a speck of dust in comparison to the rest of the universe. And if that's true, what does that make us?"

It wasn't really a question that needed to be answered. It was just Kurt thinking out loud. All the same, hearing that, it made Blaine suddenly feel very small. He thought of asymptotes. Why Blaine thought of math at a time like that, he'd never know, but he did. Asymptotes just fascinated him. He had struggled to grasp the concept at first, but then his teacher explained it in a way that made so much sense.

She told him how an asymptote was like if you took a whole circular cake, and started cutting it in pieces. First you'd cut it in half, then fourths, then sixths, then eighths, and so on and so forth. You could cut a cake over and over again, the pieces getting smaller and smaller, and you could cut it forever, get the slivers as tiny as possible, but you could never make it disappear. No matter how many times you cut that cake, you could never make the cake slices go from .0001 to just .0, period. It just wasn't possible. That was how an asymptote was. It would get closer and closer and closer to a number by tiny fractions without ever reaching it.

But Blaine just couldn't forget the metaphor of the cake. No matter how small he and Kurt were in this giant universe, so big it wasn't even comprehensible, that didn't discount their existence. They may be next to nothing in comparison to the rest of the universe, but that was just it. They were _next to _nothing. They would never really be _nothing._

"What are you thinking about?" Kurt whispered.

"I'm thinking about how, even though the universe is bigger than we could possibly imagine, that doesn't make us, you and me, any less real in it. We may be tinier than tiny, but we're still here. The fact that our presence is so small doesn't mean we're not here at all. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah. I do."

They lay in silence for a while, enjoying their microscopic presence because at least they had a presence at all, and at least it was a presence they could share.

After a while, Blaine thought Kurt might have fallen asleep, so he nudged him a little.

"Soulmate? Are you awake?"

"Barely, but awake enough to smile because you called me 'Soulmate.'"

"Well, for a couple minutes, that was your name."

Kurt laughed, quiet and melodic. It was a sound that never ceased to make Blaine's heart flutter.

Before he could forget, he nudged Kurt again. "Sit up for a second. I need to get to the romantic part."

"I thought we already did."

"Good. That was my plan, just in case you found this next part too corny."

He dug around in his backpack for a minutes, trying to remember which pocket he'd put it in, when he found it. He procured the little pouch and clutched it in his hand, not yet offering it to Kurt but showing it to him.

"What is that?" Kurt asked.

"It's called a Knapsack of Hope. To be fair and not take credit for something I didn't come up with, I found it and got the idea off of the internet. But I like to think that the magic of it will still stand."

"What's inside it?"

He held it out to Kurt. "Open it and find out."

Blaine was excited. When he found the picture of it months ago, before he even met Kurt, he'd immediately saved it to his computer for future reference. He knew that it would come in handy someday, either for himself or for someone else. It was a neat idea, one that he absolutely fell in love with the second he saw it. He'd been cleaning out the files on his computer and came across the picture and knew Kurt would love it, so he set to work on making one for him. The difficult part was when to give it to him, but with their time in Ohio coming to a close, he decided that their last night there would be perfect.

With a curious expression, Kurt took the pouch and opened it, pouring the contents out into his hand. A small gold star charm, a paper clip, a miniature lock, an eraser, a penny, and a rubber band fell into his palm.

"I'm not sure I quite understand."

Blaine chuckled. "There should be a piece of paper in there that explains it."

Kurt brought the opening of the pouch to his eye, said, "Ah," and pulled out a small roll of paper. He unfurled it and read, "'A star to remind you to keep shining. A paperclip to help you hold your things together. An eraser to fix all the small mistakes. A lock to keep all your secrets safe. A penny so that you're never broke. A rubber band to help you stretch beyond your limit.' Blaine, what…?"

"We're leaving in less than 24 hours; today, technically. I know that we're only going to be a floor away, and that we'll probably spend even more time together there than here, if that's even possible. But in the event that we both somehow get too busy for a while, I want you to open this and read that paper and remember what it means. It's exactly what it's called, a Knapsack of Hope. They're small objects that are all seemingly insignificant, but it's more about their meaning.

"I highly doubt you'd ever need a reminder to keep shining, but if all the other talent at NYU ever starts to intimidate you, you can look at that gold star and remember to keep shining, because you shine so brightly, Kurt. And I know you're a very organized person, but sometimes even you tend to go overboard, so if things start to get a little out of control for you, you can look at that paperclip and know that you have me to help you hold all of your things together (because I doubt a paperclip would help very well in the literal sense). I'm sure that in our time at college, we're both going to make tons and tons of mistakes, but you need to remember not to sweat the small stuff, so you have this eraser for the small mistakes. Your secrets are safe with me, you know that, but the lock is just kind of a representation of that, so that you always remember you can trust me and tell me anything.

"The penny, well, let's face it; we're going to be poor college students. It's inevitable. But a penny leads to another penny leads to another and before you know it you have a quarter, and then you have another one and another one and soon you have a dollar, and then you have another one and another one and suddenly you have money. During tight financial times when you can't buy yet _another _pair of boots that you're just dying to get, remember that if you even save just a little bit of money, it'll all add up and you'll be okay again before you know it. And, just like you go overboard, you try so hard to do so many things at once that sometimes I'm afraid you're going to overextend yourself, so the rubber band is especially important, to help you do all of those things that you want to do and stretch your limitations."

By the time Blaine had finished with his explanation, Kurt's eyes were literally _shining _with Love, and he launched himself at Blaine, initially just hugging him but then moving to kiss him all over. The side of his head, the top of his head, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, everywhere. When he finally connected their lips, they lingered a little longer, and Blaine melted again, like he always did when they kissed.

They pulled apart at the same time, and Kurt carefully unclenched the fist with all of the objects and started placing them all back in their pouch, one at a time. He finished and pulled the drawstrings to secure it.

"This," Kurt said, "is the best present that I have ever gotten in my entire life."

"Good. That makes me happy."

"_You _make me happy." They smiled at each other, holding each other's gazes, before Kurt glanced back down at the pouch in his hand. "I can't believe you thought I'd think this was _corny._"

"I guess I just didn't want to oversell it, in case it fell short of expectations."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Blaine. This—what did you call it?"

"Knapsack of Hope."

"Yes, this Knapsack of Hope is beautiful."

"Like I said, I didn't come up with it. I found it on the internet."

Kurt's eyebrows furrowed. "The internet didn't come up with that explanation. Nor did it come up with this incredibly romantic date."

"No, that's true. I thought of this."

"Exactly. This was all you, sweetheart. So let me tell you how amazing you are. Okay?"

Blaine laughed, nodding. "Alright. Go ahead and tell me how amazing I am."

"You," Kurt began, grasping Blaine's face in between both hands and kissing his forehead again, "are the most," a kiss on his nose, "amazing," a kiss on his left cheek, "beautiful," a kiss on his right cheek, "romantic," a kiss on his left eyelid, "thoughtful," a kiss on his right eyelid, "boyfriend in the entire universe." Kurt let his lips hover above Blaine's but kept a half-inch of space between them.

"Is that so?" Blaine asked, staring into Kurt's eyes, reveling in the feel of his breath against his lips.

"Mmhmm."

"I'm not sure I believe you."

"Then I guess I'm just going to have to show you."

"I guess so."

They finally kissed, and Blaine thought it was a kiss different from all their others. It was more intense, somehow. Like, for the first time, they both just let go of everything else and let their love for each other take over.

A couple of hours spent alternating between kissing and just lying together later, Blaine took Kurt home. They kissed again slowly before Kurt went inside, but it didn't live up to that kiss at their spot. It was still amazing, as kissing Kurt always was, but that one was just unadulterated love, and it was a moment that could never be recreated.

That didn't mean he couldn't try, though. And Blaine looked forward to many more attempts at recreating that moment for the rest of their lives.

**Omg. Okay. So here's the deal. I **_**promise you**_**, I started this chapter with the idea that it would be so much shorter than this. I really did. I thought it was going to be a super short chapter, maybe around 4,000-5,000 words at most. I thought, hey, I'll give them a break from the long-ass chapters. But then this just **_**happened. **_**And it kept happening. And it wouldn't stop happening.**

**There were places where I thought about splitting it into two separate chapters, but that would defeat the purpose, because this was the final chapter in Ohio. Next chapter starts in New York. And I just didn't want to prolong those last 2 days in Ohio. **

**So yeah. Sorry for the giant volume. Over 10,000 words. Whatevs. **

**I hope you liked it! I know I did. I think it's my new favourite chapter. Let me know what you thought! :)**


	21. Accepted

**I am now on spring breakkkk! :D Hallelujah! I had originally intended to get this chapter out a lot sooner buttttt I don't even know; I just fail. SO here it FINALLY is. I'm so sorry it's taken so long! But I had a dream about writing this chapter last night, so I knew I was at the point where it just had to be written. Hope you guys enjoy! **

_August 29, 2012_

New York. Blaine had finally been in the city of his dreams for officially 5 days now, and he loved every minute of it.

His classes started today, which he was ecstatic about. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, he had College Algebra, History, and his second English; on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he had Harmony and Counterpoint 1 and History of European Music. He could already tell that Tuesdays and Thursdays would be his favorite because it was just his music classes (plus he had History of European Music with Kurt). Unfortunately, since it was Wednesday, he had to go to all of his basics.

The day passed in a blur, all of his classes just as boring as he thought they'd be (except English, because Blaine was such a secret bookworm). He met up with Kurt for lunch and then they agreed to meet back at his dorm later that afternoon when they were both done. Kurt's day ended at 3pm but Blaine's ended an hour before that so he'd had plenty of time to get back and be there when Kurt came over.

Blaine greeted his roommate as he entered their room. "Hey, Carter."

Carter glanced over at Blaine briefly before returning his attention to the video game he was currently playing. "Sup, dude. How were classes?"

"Boring." He set his backpack down on the desk chair on his side of the room and climbed on the ladder beside Carter to the top bunk—Carter practically begged him to bunk their beds. "Kurt's coming over in about an hour."

There was silence on the bottom bunk as Carter tried to shoot down a giant tank. When it appeared he had finally accomplished it, he replied, "Yeah? Does that mean I have to disappear for a while?"

"No, though I appreciate what I think might have been your offer. We have every Tuesday and Thursday available to us for alone time."

The way Carter had arranged his schedule was set up so that all of his classes were on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It worked out nicely, because he had 3 days off every week, but not so nicely when he had to be in classes all day from 9am until 3pm with no break. Blaine liked his own schedule a lot more than Carters, having everything spread out worked great for him, but Blaine also liked Carter's schedule because it meant that as soon as Blaine and Kurt were done at noon, they could go back to Blaine's dorm room and have 3 hours to themselves.

"Alright. Just leave a sock or rubber band or something on the door when he's over for sex."

"I already told you, we don't have sex."

"Correction: you haven't had sex yet in the past. Now, though, you're in New York; you're away from your houses where you have adults constantly looming over you making sure you don't sit within a foot of each other. It could happen, man. So just in case, I've got condoms in the top drawer of my dresser. You're on your own for lube, though."

Blaine rolled his eyes but was secretly grateful that his roommate was so okay with the fact that he was gay. When Blaine first arrived and Carter was already there, he warned his roommate before he even unpacked that he was gay, in case it would be a problem and he'd have to get a new room assignment. To his surprise, one of Carter's girlfriend's brothers was gay, so Carter was totally okay with it.

"I don't even want to know how you know anything about gay sex, but thanks."

"I told you, Blaine. Scotty is an open book. You ask that guy anything and he'll tell you." Scott (or Scotty, as Carter called him) was the brother. "It embarrasses the hell out of Amanda when I ask about childhood stuff, though. Which is just hilarious because she gets super red when she's embarrassed and her red face with her red hair makes her look like a tomato." Amanda was the girlfriend.

"You're such a good boyfriend, Carter. I'll be sure to tell Amanda about how you called her a tomato when she visits."

"You better not. Bro Code." Carter was a big believer in the Bro Code. "Hey, since you and Kurt get to have your alone time where you guys _don't _have sex, if Amanda comes to visit, you think I can have some alone time where I _do _get to have sex?"

"When Amanda visits, I'll stay in Kurt's room."

"Awesome."

It was the least Blaine could do, with how cool Carter was being with him and Kurt. Plus, Blaine had a feeling that under all that "dude" and "bro code" and "I wanna have sex" crap, Carter was actually a really sweet boyfriend and would probably plan something romantic in their dorm if she came to visit. They'd been here less than a week and already Blaine had seen him skyping Amanda at least once a day, sometimes twice, constant texting, and a few phone calls.

When Blaine told Carter about Kurt, Carter told Blaine about Amanda. Blaine discovered that Carter was a sophomore and he and Amanda had met their freshman year at NYU. Amanda, however, had to drop out because her father got sick and she had to go home to take care family stuff there in San Francisco, California. Her mom had already died in a car accident 6 years ago, and now her father was dying of lung cancer (and still refused to stop smoking). This would already be bad enough, but Amanda had Scott (16 years old) and Thomas (12 years old), her two younger brothers, and Amelia (7 years old), her younger sister. Without either parent, Amanda would be the primary caregiver.

He really felt bad for Amanda. She just wanted to be a normal 20-year-old; go to college, live with her boyfriend, visit home on holidays. Instead, she'd had to drop out and move back home to take the place of her mother in terms of care for her little brothers. She'd already lost one parent, and now she was losing another. Life just didn't seem fair for her.

For once, and Blaine felt bad for admitting this, but it seemed like someone else's life sucked just a little bit more than his. He would never say so out loud, not even to Kurt, but somehow it made him feel the tiniest bit better about his own situation.

Carter was good to her, though. He could tell. Any other guy would have run at the sign of so much going on; Carter told her he'd drop out too and move back with her to help. Blaine knew this because it was something they discussed a lot over Skype. Carter kept begging her to let him help, but she kept refusing. She said she wasn't going to let him ruin his life to try and salvage hers. If he stayed in school and got his degree, then he could come live with her and as a college graduate be better able to support and provide for her.

Blaine had no doubt in his mind that they would get married.

He heard Carter's phone vibrating on the mattress below him and leaned his head down just in time to see Carter abandon the game controller without even pausing the game and answering the phone.

"Hey, babe. What's wrong?" Carter asked. Blaine heard Amanda's frantic voice on the other end, more high-pitched than he'd heard it before. "Wait, they did _what_?" More of what sounded to Blaine like squealing. "Okay, okay, hold on a second. Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Scotty just got home from school—he left early because at lunch some of the seniors snuck up behind him and poured a shit-ton of milk all over him. He's pretty upset. Could you talk to him?"

Blaine bit his lip. He went to a school with zero-tolerance for bullying; he didn't know anything about this kind of stuff.

"Kurt would probably be better at this than me…"

"Well Kurt's not here yet is he?" Carter snapped. Blaine watched him pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh. "Sorry, man. I just…"

"It's fine. Give me the phone."

"Okay. Amanda, give the phone to Scotty…Hey, Scotty. Did Amanda tell you about my roommate?…Yeah, his name's Blaine. I think he could help you out. You wanna talk to him for a second?…" Carter held the phone up for Blaine.

He took the phone from Carter's hand and flopped back on the bed, holding it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Is this Blaine?" the voice on the other end said.

Scott sounded nothing like Blaine had imagined. With the couple of stories he'd heard, he thought Scott was this rebellious teenager who went out and had sex and got drunk all the time. The boy on the phone sounded vulnerable and scared.

"Yeah. What's up, Scott?"

He heard sniffling. "Not much. Same old, same old. You know how it goes."

"I heard you had some trouble at school today."

"Oh, that. Yeah." Scott didn't elaborate, so Blaine thought that maybe he just didn't want to talk about it so he should just leave him alone, but then he heard him mutter, "Hold on…let me just…Okay. Sorry. Amanda was listening and with Dad…she just has this permanent heartbroken look on her face and I didn't want to add more to that by making her listen to all the stupid details. I'm hiding in the basement bathroom."

"Does that mean you're going to tell me all the stupid details?"

There was another pause that made Blaine think maybe he shouldn't have said that because now he'd lost what little trust the kid had in him, but just in time again he heard Scott say, "You have a boyfriend, right?"

"Yep. His name is Kurt."

"How long have you guys been together?"

"A little over two months."

"That's it? Carter made it sound like you guys had been together for years."

"Well, that's how it feels. Kurt's my soulmate." Blaine couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face. He was surprised not to hear Carter faking gagging noises like he usually did when Blaine got sappy about Kurt, but quickly realized this was a serious situation and Carter was not in a joking mood.

"I wish I could find that. Maybe if I had someone by my side it'd be easier to deal with this stuff."

Blaine felt a pang in his chest thinking about how many times Kurt must have thought that in high school.

"You know, Kurt got bullied a lot in high school."

"Really?"

"Yeah. All the time."

"What'd they do to him?"

It hurt Blaine just to think about it, but he knew it'd help Scott to know that he wasn't alone. "The jocks would toss him in the dumpsters, throw slushies in his face, and shove him into lockers."

"Not to mention name-calling," Kurt said, stepping into the room.

Carter looked up and offered a weak smile to him. "Hey, Kurt. Blaine said you got out at 3pm."

"Yeah, my class let out early since it's the first day." Kurt stood at the side of Blaine's bed by his head and leaned his head on the railing, resting his chin on his hands over the cool metal. "Who are you spilling all of my deep, dark secrets to?"

"Is that Kurt?" Scott asked.

"Yeah," Blaine answered Scott, then sat up and gestured for Kurt to climb up on his bed. "It's Carter's girlfriend's little brother. He had an incident at school today with some seniors and several cartons of milk."

"Oh, let me guess," Kurt said, settling down into Blaine's side, wrapping Blaine's free arm around himself and lacing their fingers together. "They made some joke comparing the milk to cum."

"Yeah!" Scott said, sounding relieved that someone else understood. "How did he know? Wait, don't answer that, I can take a guess."

"Does he get bullied a lot?" Kurt asked Blaine.

Blaine shrugged and opened his mouth to ask Scott when Scott started replying already. "Kind of. It's San Francisco, so I never really thought this would be an issue when I came out, but it turns out there are bigots everywhere." Blaine nodded for Kurt as Scott asked, "How did Kurt deal with it?"

"Well, I think he just never let it get him down. Kurt is…the bravest person I know. And he's really level-headed. No matter what those jerks did to him, he kept his calm and didn't flip out at them. If you actively fight back, you'll just get yourself hurt. They're bigger than you and there's more of them. You can passively fight back, though, in your own way. That's what Kurt did."

"How do I do that?"

"Don't let them get to you. Keep going back to school, dress how you want, date who you want, _be _who you want. Hold your head high. Show them that it doesn't matter what they do to you because you're not going to let them change you. Have the courage to face them every day and look them all in the eye and without words, tell them that you're not backing down. You don't have to fight with your fists to get the point across."

Blaine looked to Kurt for confirmation that was he was saying was true and was good advice, and when he saw the Love Look he knew he was on the right track.

"Okay. I think I can do that."

"I know you can. If you have any more problems with them, you can call me any time. Carter can give you my number."

"Cool. I will. Thanks, Blaine."

"No problem, Scott."

"You can call me Scotty…if you want, I mean. That's what pretty much everyone calls me."

"Alright. I'll talk to you soon, Scotty. Why don't you give the phone back to your sister and I'll give it back to Carter and they can make kissy noises through the phone to each other."

Scotty laughed, which Blaine counted as an accomplishment given the circumstances, and said, "Ugh, it's almost gross how in love they are."

"Don't I know it? I have to live with him."

"But I bet you and Kurt are the same way."

Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Yeah. I guess we are. Bye, Scotty."

"Bye, Blaine."

He held the phone out over the bed railing. "Here's your phone, Carter."

Carter snatched it away and put the phone to his ear, standing up to pace around the room. "Amanda?…Yeah, I think he'll be okay. Blaine was really helpful…No, I understand, go deal with that. Call me later…I love you." He hung up and ran a hand through his hair, looking up at Blaine. "Thank you, man."

Blaine shrugged. "Like I told Scotty, no problem."

"No, seriously, you have no idea…with everything else happening right now, that could have been…just…thank you. I owe you one."

"You owe me nothing. Don't forget to give Scotty my number."

Carter hesitated for a second, like maybe he thought Blaine had only said that to Scotty to be nice, then went to typing on his phone, probably texting Scotty his number.

Kurt leaned up and pressed a kiss to Blaine's cheek. "That was nice of you."

"He needed help. If I were doused in milk in the middle of the cafeteria, I'd want to talk to someone too."

"You have such a good heart and you don't even see it."

He squeezed Kurt's hand and changed the subject. "How was your first day of classes?"

"It was alright. You're going to love Harmony and Counterpoint 1. The professor is really nice, and really cute."

"Oh, do I have some competition? Am I going to have to fight this professor for you?"

"Maybe," Kurt retorted, smirking up at Blaine and winking. "How were your classes today?"

"Boring."

"That's all I get? You're not going to elaborate?"

"Don't worry, Kurt," Carter interrupted, picking the game controller back up and restarting the game. "That's all he gave me, too."

"No offense, Carter, but I'm the boyfriend. I think I should get more from him than you do."

Carter snorted. "Well, you guys have a whole three hours tomorrow that I'll be out of the room and you can get all you want from him."

"Shut up," Blaine said, wanting to quickly leave the topic of his and Kurt's sex life.

"Now, I did tell Blaine about the condoms in my top dresser drawer," Carter continued, ignoring Blaine, "but you guys are on your own for lube."

"Why do you even have condoms when Amanda lives on the other side of the country?" Kurt asked.

"So that when I fly her out to visit me we're prepared. I use them sometimes when I jerk off, too."

Blaine couldn't help it, he was curious. "Really? Why?"

"Less clean up."

That actually made a lot of sense, Blaine thought. He exchanged a look with Kurt like, hey, that's a pretty good idea. Then he realized that they were admiring Blaine's roommate's masturbatory habits and quickly they both flushed bright red and looked away.

It wasn't that Blaine didn't _want _to take his relationship further with Kurt. Actually, he really, really wanted to get a little more than what they'd been doing. It wasn't that kissing Kurt wasn't fun, especially since they'd added the no shirts thing, but maybe a no pants thing could be thrown in there too. He knew they were going slow for Kurt's sake, but hearing Kurt discuss condoms and lube and "getting more" with Carter kind of made Blaine think that maybe he'd been the one holding them back and Kurt was ready after all.

"Hey, Carter, remember your offer from earlier?" Blaine asked right when the game started up again and Carter started shooting things.

"Seriously? You couldn't have said something _before _I started this round?"

"What offer?" Kurt interjected, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.

"To disappear for a while," Blaine said.

"Oh," Kurt squeaked. "That's unnecessary, Carter. You can continue to play your little game." Blaine's heart dropped to his stomache for a second before Kurt finished. "My roommate is gone. We can just go to my room."

"Thanks, Kurt. See, Blaine? Why do you have to make our room the go-to make-out room?"

"Because Kurt thinks it's hot to make-out on a top bunk. He told me so the other day when you were grocery shopping—OW! Kurt!"

Kurt disentangled himself from Blaine and started climbing down the ladder. "Quit telling your roommate private stuff about us. You've only known him for 5 days."

"I only knew you for 2 weeks before we were officially together. And I only knew you for a month and 10 days before we said we loved each other."

"Are you going to stay up there and show off your fantastic memory or come with me to my room where we can be alone?"

Blaine scrambled down without another word and followed Kurt out the door, calling out a half-hearted goodbye to his roommate. He heard Carter chuckling behind him but was too busy practically running to Kurt's room to care.

The second they set foot in his room Blaine slammed the door behind them and pinned Kurt against it, kissing him soundly.

Kurt's face when Carter mentioned using condoms to masturbate just made Blaine think about Kurt masturbating and _shit _the image of Kurt touching himself turned him on more than he even thought possible.

"God, Kurt," Blaine moaned, kissing his way down Kurt's neck and sucking on his collarbone.

Kurt whined and arched his back, extending his neck. "What's gotten into you?" Kurt breathed out, twining his fingers in Blaine's hair and tugging.

_Fuck _that felt good.

"I was hoping you," Blaine murmured before he could stop himself.

When he realized what he said, he stopped immediately and pulled back, looking at Kurt's surprised face.

"I'm sorry," he said, "That just kind of came out."

"So you didn't mean it?"

Blaine debated that for a second before answering. Did he mean it? He wanted to say yes, but it seemed like a huge leap to go from shirtless kissing to total sex. Maybe they should go slow, start with a handjob or something.

"I did," Blaine admitted, choosing his words carefully, "but not for right now. Eventually…yes. Today, though, we can just do what we always do."

Kurt scrunched his nose in disgust. "That makes it sound boring."

"Kissing you could never be boring," Blaine replied, leaning back in to prove his point.

He was held back by a finger to his lips. "What if we went a little past that today?"

Blaine quirked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"If you want. I mean if you're not ready, we don't have to."

"Oh, I'm ready."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, gauging how much the other meant what they were saying, before Blaine decided that yes, they were ready, and dove back in.

…

Kurt's roommate came back about two hours later, more than enough time for Kurt and Blaine to tentatively explore each other's bodies, with no clothes to separate them. It was equal parts awkward and enjoyable. There were moments when both of them would catch each other's eye and just kind of laugh nervously, then laugh again because they were both so nervous even though it was _them _and they weren't even having sex. What they did do, though, was enough to make Blaine feel light headed just thinking about it.

Sexual stuff with Trevor was never like that. With Trevor, it felt rushed, and forced, and all about Trevor feeling good. Sometimes it made Blaine feel used. With Kurt, it was slow and careful and about both of them just learning each other's bodies, what they liked, what they didn't like. They both knew they'd have many more times just like that where they could keep learning more; it didn't feel frantic, but easy. Like they had all the time in the world for this.

Stephen, Kurt's roommate, was a little less accepting of the whole gay thing. It wasn't that he was homophobic like the jocks that taunted Kurt all through high school, but Kurt and Blaine figured out from day one that it would probably be better to not spend a whole lot of time together in Kurt's room if Stephen would be there.

When Stephen came back, Kurt and Blaine retreated back to Blaine's room. They both had goofy smiles and kept glancing knowingly at each other, then blushing scarlet. It was hard for Blaine to look at Kurt right after that without picturing what they had been doing not even an hour before. Carter caught on and demanded a fist bump from both Blaine and Kurt, congratulating them both on finally "getting some." He would have been surprised that Kurt returned the fist bump—something he denied Finn all the time—but realized that Kurt knew that this was Carter's way of showing them how much he accepted them and supported them in their relationship.

And sometimes, it just feels good to be accepted.

**Voila! I know it's super short and it's been too long since I've updated, and this chapter was severely lacking in Laurel, but I'll bring her back in soon don't worry! I just wanted to get this chapter out there because it has been so long since my last update. I'm hoping to update one more time before spring break ends but we'll see how that works out!**

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are always appreciated. :)**


	22. Contradictions

**Yippeee! I don't have very much to say other than I'm super excited to get reviews from you guys and see that there are still people out there reading my story, even though I sometimes take forever to update and it gets kinda slow sometimes :) **

**So thank you all for being so patient with me! Here is your next chapter! It's kind of just like a silly, filler one, simply because I want to give our boys a rest and let them have some fun and be happy for a while. I know, so weird for me! Haha. I hope you like it!**

_September 14, 2012_

"Oh, my fuck," Carter sighed, slamming the door behind him and throwing his backpack on his bottom bunk, "This has been the worst week of my life. We need to go out tonight."

Blaine reluctantly pulled away from where he'd been hovering over Kurt on his bed, working on a nice hickey, and sat up, straddling Kurt's hips. He made eye contact with his roommate and gave him a very pointed look.

"Don't look at me like that. I went to the library and gave you guys time alone, but I'm tired of being sexiled, so I came back. Deal with it."

He shared a look with Kurt for a second before Kurt was sitting up too, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist to keep him right where he was. "As much as we appreciate that, Carter, that's a no to going out tonight."

"Also, there was a rubber band on the door, per your request. That means it's sex time," Blaine added.

"Blaine!"

"What?"

"You can't just tell Carter every time we do things of a sexual nature! That stuff is private."

"He walked in on it, Kurt. I don't think it's a secret."

"Your sexcapades aside," Carter interrupted, "why is that a negative on going out?"

"Because your definition of going out is probably going to a frat party and getting wasted like you did last weekend and Blaine isn't allowed to drink."

"Delta Phi. They're actually a really cool fraternity, Kurt, the guys are great. Blaine, why aren't you allowed to drink? Is that like a Relationship Rule?"

Carter and Amanda were big believers in Relationship Rules, Blaine had come to find out. They were constantly mentioning their RRs over Skype or on the phone. Basically, Relationship Rules were guidelines that both parties in a relationship agree upon. An example, one that Carter and Amanda had set in place, is that even though they rarely saw each other, they weren't allowed to have sex or make out or anything with other people during their time apart. Blaine felt like that was just a common sense thing, but apparently there were some long-distance relationships where it was okay to have sex with other people while the couple wasn't together; he supposed that was a Relationship Rule that other couples had in place, allowing sex with other people.

That was definitely _not _a Relationship Rule Blaine would ever condone.

"No, Kurt and I don't have RRs like you and Amanda. That's just because I…I turn into a different person when I'm drunk. And it's not pretty."

"So? Isn't that the general rule of thumb for anybody who gets drunk?"

Blaine threw a sideways glance at Kurt. "It's different with me."

Kurt leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's forehead, tightening his hold on him. Blaine smiled in response and tilted their foreheads together.

They probably would have stayed like that for hours if Carter hadn't coughed to announce his presence still in the room.

"As cute as that little moment was, my week still sucked, and you two are basically my best friends here, so we're all going out tonight. I don't care if you drink or not. Hell, it'd probably be more convenient if you didn't drink so you can be the sober one that takes care of the drunken people and I can get completely wasted. Sound like a plan?"

"Fine," Blaine sighed. "But on one condition."

Carter rolled his eyes, already knowing Blaine well enough to know what it was. "Great. Right when I get back. Fine, yes, whatever. If it means I get to get shitfaced tonight, I'll give you guys a couple hours. But that's it! You get two hours and then when I come back at 9 o'clock we're leaving for the party. Got it?"

Blaine smirked, already laying Kurt back and settling down on top of them like they were before. "Yes, sir. We will be ready at 9pm sharp. Now leave."

The door closing shut might have registered somewhere in the recesses of Blaine's mind, but he was already back to kissing Kurt, and when he was kissing Kurt everything else in the world fell away but him and Kurt.

He straightened out his legs and settled them between both of Kurt's, pressing their hips together. One arm was keeping his body weight from falling on Kurt completely, and the other hand was creeping its way up Kurt's shirt to his nipple, where Blaine _knew _was one of the most sensitive spots on his boyfriend's body. Sure enough, the second his fingers brushed it, Kurt arched his back, bucking their hips together.

"Shit, Blaine. Not wasting any time, are you?"

"We have two hours. I intend to use every second of it."

"I like that plan."

The area on Kurt's neck where Blaine had started a hickey earlier still seemed kind of sensitive, the beginnings of a hickey plain to see, so Blaine set back to work to finish it. He knew how much Kurt loved hickeys. No matter how many times Kurt refused to love certain things—(being called "baby," hickeys, gummy bears)—Blaine could tell when he was telling the truth and when he was lying.

"Mmm, baby," Blaine murmured against Kurt's neck, "You taste _amazing._ Did you change your body wash?"

"Are you implying that my regular body wash doesn't taste good?" Kurt asked, voice high and breathy. Blaine nipped his neck a little harder than normal. Kurt gasped, "Okay, okay. Yes, I changed. I'm glad you like it."

Blaine licked a strip all the way up from the hickey he'd just completed right above Kurt's collarbone all the way to the tip of his chin.

"Gross, Blaine. You're not a dog. You don't need to slobber all over me."

"I'd hardly call it slobbering."

"Fine. I think it's unnecessary for you to lick me like that."

"Really?" Blaine lifted his face for a moment to search Kurt's. "So you _don't _want me to lick you? Anywhere on your body? Ever?" The shell-shocked expression that fell on his boyfriend's face told Blaine that he knew exactly what he was talking about. "Because I was kind of planning on giving that a try today. But if you'd rather I don't put my mouth on your—"

"Dear God, yes," Kurt breathed, grabbing the back of Blaine's neck and tugging him back down, connecting their mouths in a sloppy, needy kiss.

Blaine loved when his boyfriend showed this side of him; the needy, sexual side. Kurt was normally so perfectly put together, always in control of everything. He loved how there were certain things he was able to do that could make Kurt come completely undone underneath him. And Kurt could do the same to him. It took a while, but he and Kurt were finally in a good place where they were both just genuinely happy with life and with each other and their relationship.

Just before Blaine ripped off Kurt's shirt and started kissing his way down Kurt's chest, he made a mental note to call Laurel. After all, he promised her if he knew they were going to have sex soon he would tell her.

After this evening, the only thing they'd have left would be sex. With all the alone time they got these days, it was only a matter of time before they reached that point.

Blaine shivered at the thought, kissing Kurt on the mouth before making his way down.

…

At exactly 9:00pm, Carter came bursting through the door.

"Whatup, suckers? Ready to get your party on?"

Blaine blushed at Carter's phrasing after what he and Kurt had just done and broke eye contact with his roommate to avoid being called out on it.

Unfortunately, Carter was right, they were basically best friends; Carter knew his facial expressions exactly by now.

"No way," Carter said, and Blaine watched him glance back and forth from Kurt and him, a grin slowly inching its way on his face. "No way. No way! Ha! You totally sucked each other off!"

"Must you phrase everything in such a vulgar way? I swear it's like we still have David around."

"David is more clever, though," Blaine corrected.

Kurt didn't look amused.

"Who cares about clever when you guys finally exchanged blo—"

"Don't finish that sentence, Carter," Kurt cut in. He turned to Blaine. "It's almost unsettling the level of detail your roommate knows about our sex life."

"And it's not even a full month into the semester!" Carter chimed in. "Just think of all the fun we'll have had by the end of the year. Because I'm _positive _you guys will have actually had sex by then. Man, all this sex talk makes me miss Amanda. Can we go get me hammered now?"

Blaine caught the deflective tone in his roommate's voice and the anguish in his eyes. It really had been a hard week for Carter, he could tell. He didn't know all of what happened, but he knew Carter enough to be able to see the way his shoulders were slumped, his eyes were tired, his voice sounding worn out. Who was he to deny the guy a night of escape?

"Sure, C. Let's go."

"We are not Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodson, Blaine. Referring to each other by the first letters of our names is not acceptable."

Blaine rolled his eyes and followed Carter out of the door, finding Kurt's hand behind him and pulling him along. As Blaine turned to lock their door, Kurt asked, "Why do you even know anything about the show _Gossip Girl_, Carter?"

Carter shrugged. "It's Amanda's favorite show. I watch it so she can rant about it to me and I'll actually be able to understand what she's saying."

That's sweet, Blaine thought to himself. He gave Kurt's hand a squeeze and smiled at him as they walked down the hallway. "That's why I watch _Project Runway._ Kurt never shuts up about it."

"Oh please, Blaine," Kurt snorted, giving his shoulder a little shove. "You know you secretly love that show."

"Not a chance."

In truth, Blaine didn't think it was too bad. But he would never admit that to Kurt.

About a half hour and a sketchy subway ride later, they arrived at the party location. One of the frat guys was standing outside of the door asking for the password. Carter told it to him without a moment's hesitation, allowing them entry to the party. Blaine thought the door keeper might have been eying his and Kurt's locked hands, but he couldn't be sure. Either way, he and Kurt were together, and these frat guys were just going to have to deal with it. The second they got inside, he unlaced their fingers and snaked his arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him close.

Kurt smirked at him, knowing exactly what he was doing, and kissed him on the cheek. He was almost certain that there were a good number of people staring at them like a circus attraction, but he was even more certain that he didn't care. When he caught Carter's eyes over the keg in the kitchen and saw the slight smile there, he knew Carter didn't care either.

Carter poured one cup of beer from the keg, downing it in less than 10 seconds before refilling it. He gulped about half of that one before holding it out to Kurt in a gesture. "You want any, Kurt? You're allowed to drink, right?"

"I'd rather not," Kurt replied, glancing at Blaine out of the corners of his eyes.

But Blaine could tell that Kurt was only being half-hearted, and he actually wouldn't mind a drink. "Go ahead, love. Have a drink. I don't mind."

His boyfriend quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

When Kurt still stood at Blaine's side, looking wary, Blaine said to Carter, "Make him a drink, will you? He doesn't like beer."

After a few minutes, Carter returned from the counter with a pink drink filled to the brim in a red plastic cup. He held it out to Kurt, which Kurt took delicately and sniffed before taking a tentative sip.

"Good?" Carter asked.

Kurt took another drink in response, much more than just a sip.

Carter laughed. "Cheers," he said, lifting up his cup before emptying it and returning to the keg to pour another. Cup newly refilled, he returned to Kurt and Blaine. "I'm gonna go talk to people. You two okay?"

"We're fine. Go talk to your people," Blaine replied.

Blaine watched his roommate walk away and his boyfriend take another large swig of his drink.

"Slow down there, sparky. You're going to make yourself sick if you drink it too fast."

"I know that. It's just really good. Try it," Kurt urged, holding out the cup.

"No, thanks."

"Come on. One sip is okay, Blaine."

He rolled his eyes and took the cup, tasting a sip before handing it back. Party Punch, Blaine decided; a strong drink notorious for knocking girls out after just one cup, making them easy lays.

"You better be careful with that. You're going to end up more drunk than Carter."

"I highly doubt that," another drink, "but would that be a problem?"

"As I recall, you're quite handsy when you're drunk, so as long as you keep your hands to myself, it's not a problem at all."

Kurt kissed Blaine on the nose. "I promise to keep my hands on you and only you."

"Then drink away."

And drink away, Kurt did. In fact, Kurt finished his first cup within ten minutes and located Carter to make him another one, which he also finished within ten minutes. The fact that Party Punch was strong added with Kurt's relatively low alcohol tolerance had him on the verge of drunk after the first two drinks, and completely so after three and a half. Carter, who after an hour had had about six cups of beer, was also pretty smashed. And while Carter was still pretty functional when he was drunk, Kurt wasn't.

"_Blaaaaaaine!"_ Kurt shouted directly into Blaine's ear. "Let's dance!"

"I'm not sure the frat guys would be so cool with that, Kurt."

While Blaine was okay with holding hands and exchanging small kisses, he thought grinding with his boyfriend on the dance floor might be a little too much. Almost like holding up a sign saying, "I'm gay, and if you have a problem with it, I invite you to come yell at me and possibly beat me up for it!"

"But…but…pleeeease! I want to dance with you!" Kurt leaned in and purred in Blaine's ear, "I want to feel your hips on mine like earlier."

"Kurt…"

"Oh, just dance with him!" Carter exclaimed, walking up to them and giving Blaine a pat on the back. "If anyone gives you trouble for it, I got your back! Go for it!"

Before Blaine could try any more half-hearted protests, Kurt was tugging him to the living room where the furniture had been cleared out to make a dance floor. There were speakers sitting on the floor in random places around the room, and a huge crowd of girls and guys all dancing together. Kurt brought them to a place kind of in the middle and spun Blaine around, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist from behind and bringing their bodies together.

He felt Kurt's lips attach onto the side of his neck, and Kurt's hands sneaking lower and lower, and Kurt's body pressed flush against him, and it was all enough to make Blaine unwind and come unglued in Kurt's arms. So, deciding that fighting it was fruitless at this point, he just gave in. One hand found its way to the back of Kurt's head and the other was on the back of one of Kurt's thighs. His head tilted to the side to expose that side of his neck in entirety to Kurt.

Ah, this is what heaven feels like, Blaine thought idly.

Things were good. His eyes were closed and he was just enjoying dancing (or just moving their hips side to side with the rhythm) with his boyfriend. That is, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He snapped his eyes open to look at their intruder only to have to look up and up because the guy was over six feet tall.

"Why don't you get your homo explosion out of our party?" he spat in their faces, looming over them.

They disentangled themselves, but Blaine pushed Kurt behind him. He didn't want Kurt to get hurt if things came to that.

"We're just dancing," Blaine replied smoothly, trying not to show how nervous the whole situation made him. "It's not a big deal."

"Actually, it is a big deal. Because you're at a Delta Phi party, and last time I checked, Delta Phi didn't let fags in."

He tried not to flinch at the word. "We were invited to this party just like everyone else."

"Really?" the guy scoffed, poking Blaine's chest. "Who invited you, then?"

"I did," Carter said, stepping forward from who knows where but Blaine thought he'd never been so relieved to see someone in his entire life.

Except for maybe Laurel that time he was kicked out. And the time after the Trevor Incident.

"And who the fuck are you? Why are all of these randomass people at a Delta Phi party? We have a password system for a reason."

"Carter's in my calculus class," a voice said from behind Blaine. The stranger came up to stand beside him and clapped a hand on Blaine's shoulder, holding firm to it. "He lets me copy his notes if I get too drunk at one of these parties to go to class the next morning. He's a cool guy. I invited him and told him if he wanted to bring some friends it'd be fine. Got a problem with that, Hunter?"

The homophobe—Hunter—glared at the stranger. "Did you not see these two practically fucking two seconds ago?"

The new guy looked at Kurt and Blaine for a second before turning back to Hunter. "Nope. Can't say that I did. Sorry I missed it, though, it was probably pretty hot."

"What?" Hunter's face made Blaine think of a cartoon's where the jaw was on the ground and the eyes were bugging out of the person's head.

"What? I'm comfortable in my heterosexuality, dude. I can stand here and admit that these are two fairly good looking guys without feeling insecure. I have to wonder, with how aggressive you're being, why you have such a problem with them. You understand what I'm saying?"

Blaine understood completely, and judging from his face so did Hunter.

"So, that said, why don't you go join the other pledges cowering in the corner and leave the real party stuff, like guest lists, to the actives?"

Hunter stormed off, looking absolutely pissed and mortified, and sat down on a chair in the corner. The stranger who stood up for them turned to Kurt and Blaine and smiled, offering a wave to Carter.

"Sup, man. Glad you came. Who are your friends?"

"This is Kurt and Blaine," Carter managed, looking shocked and pretty intoxicated.

"Hey, Kurt and Blaine. I'm Jonathan. Sorry about Hunter, he's just a pledge. Not for long, though. We don't really tolerate that kind of behavior in this fraternity. It makes us look bad, ya know? That's why frats have such a bad rep."

Kurt just nodded, looking stunned. Blaine held out his hand, though, and shook Jonathan's. "Thank you for standing up for us like that. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Like I said, the whole frat isn't like that. Plus, Hunter's like twice your size. No offense, but I don't know if you could've handled him in a fight. And your boyfriend looks too drunk to be of much help."

Blaine glanced back at Kurt and laughed. "Yeah, he's pretty smashed."

"Hey!" Kurt protested. "Hey! Hey. I'm…I may be drunk…but…but Blaine used to be in fight club! He…He could take that guy! _Hey! Hey, guy! Come back! My boyfriend is gonna fight you!_"

Blaine clapped a hand over Kurt's mouth and wrapped his other arm around Kurt's waist. "Hush, love. That's probably not the best thing to shout out right now. I'm sorry; I should be taking him back to the dorms now anyway. It's getting pretty late."

"Yeah, sure. You need money for a cab or anything?"

"I've got it covered, but thanks. I'll see you around."

"Sure thing. You taking Carter with you?"

Crap. He'd completely forgotten about Carter, who was still standing there but now just watching a drop of alcohol go around and around in a circle in the bottom of his cup. Okay, maybe he wasn't as much of a functional drunk as Blaine initially thought.

"I probably should. He's my roommate."

"Ah, there's the connection. Carter, Blaine's going to take you back to your room. Okay?"

Carter didn't look up until Jonathan took the cup from his hands. "Hey! Jonny! That was my cup!"

"Now it's not. I'll see you Tuesday, alright?"

"We're leaving?" Carter asked, looking like a kicked puppy. "Do we have to, Blainers?"

Blaine groaned. "Where did you hear that nickname?"

"When you were talking to your sister Laurie on the phone last night."

"Her name is Laurel. You know that. You've talked to her yourself and—you know what, I don't even know why I'm bothering. Let's go."

With effort, Blaine somehow was able to get one arm around Kurt and one arm around Carter and haul them both to the sidewalk, into a cab, then out of the cab, up the stairs to their dorm, and into Blaine and Carter's room. Carter immediately collapsed onto his bottom bunk and passed out on his stomache. Thinking back to things he'd heard in school about drunk people, Blaine sat Kurt down on his desk chair so he could roll Carter onto his side. That way, if he threw up, it would just go onto the pillow or off the side of the bed, and he wouldn't choke in his own vomit and die.

What a death. Gross.

Then, satisfied that Carter would definitely not die in his sleep of choking on throw up, Blaine dealt with Kurt. He started trying to change Kurt's clothes and put him in a pair of Blaine's pajama pants, but Kurt wasn't going to have any of that without making comments every few seconds.

"Blaine, you're taking off my pants!"

"It's nothing I haven't done before. Keep your voice down, Carter's sleeping. Do you want to wake Carter up?"

"Oh, no," Kurt whispered. "That would be bad. I'll be quiet I promise."

"Good."

Kurt squealed and jumped when Blaine curled his fingers along the hem of Kurt's shirt. "Your hands are so cold!"

"They'll warm up in a few seconds. Quit squirming."

"Blaine! You touched my nipple! You know how sensitive I am!"

"I know. I'm sorry. All done. Let's get you into bed, okay?"

By some miracle, Blaine got Kurt up the ladder and lying down in his bed. With Kurt situated, he was free to change into his own pajamas and when he was done, turned off the light and climbed up to join his boyfriend. He was hoping Kurt would already be asleep because as adorable as he was when he was drunk, he was getting kind of annoying. Then again, at least he wasn't being mean like Blaine did when he was drunk. Compared to a drunk Blaine, drunk Kurt was a lot better.

"Blaine," Kurt breathed, leaning his face right over Blaine's, so close Blaine could smell the Party Punch on his breath.

"Yes, Kurt?"

"Can we have sex?"

"Not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because you're drunk."

"Oh."

To be honest, Blaine was pretty surprised that Kurt just accepted the first reason Blaine gave without putting up much of a fight.

"Blaine?"

"Yes, Kurt?"

"If we can't have sex, can I suck your dick?"

If Blaine had been drinking something, he would have spit it out. Kurt had never been so crass, he even reprimanded Carter for it earlier, and Blaine was pretty sure he'd never even heard Kurt say the word "dick" other than the time he was telling Blaine he was acting like one. But that was in a different context entirely.

"Umm…"

"Come on, please. I promise we can be quiet! I just want you in my mouth. I want to taste you. I want to feel you. Didn't you like it earlier? _Please_, Blaine."

"Oh, God, Kurt, if it'll shut you up, yes. Yes. Go for it."

Even in the darkness, Blaine could see Kurt's grin. And really, if giving Blaine pleasure would make Kurt happy, who was Blaine to deny his boyfriend that happiness?

…

The next morning, Blaine awoke tangled in the sheets on his back with his boyfriend splayed across his stomache. He heard Carter retching below him and chanced a glance down to make sure it was going into a trash can and not on their floor. Yes. Good thing he set that trash can there last night or it probably would be all over their floor.

"How ya feelin', C?"

Carter threw up again in response. "Peachy," he choked out. "How is your boyfriend not puking his guts out? He was worse off than me last night."

"He doesn't throw up from being drunk. It's just one of those Kurt things."

"Yeah, well, he sucks."

Blaine blushed, remembering last night. "Yeah, he does."

He heard Carter throw up once more. "Gross. I wasn't going for a sexual innuendo for once, B."

"So you've given into the first letter thing, then?"

"Shut up."

Kurt stirred on top of him, nuzzling his face deeper into Blaine's chest as if he could burrow a hole and bury his head in it. Blaine reached a hand up and petted Kurt's hair, looking down at him as he opened his eyes.

"Good morning," Blaine greeted.

"No."

"No?"

"It is _not _a good morning when your head is pounding like mine is."

"I have medicine. Do you want me to get some for you?"

"No, I need you. You're my pillow."

Blaine chuckled softly. "Okay. I'll be your pillow."

When Kurt yawned and closed his eyes, nestling into Blaine's chest again, Blaine decided that Kurt was the cutest creature he'd ever seen on the planet. Like, baby red pandas? No. Alaskan malamute puppies? Nope. Kurt was the most adorable thing ever. Ever.

"Okay," Carter moaned, "I think I'm done throwing up."

"Wonderful."

"So tell me all the embarrassing stuff I did last night."

"Really, you didn't do too much. I think the most embarrassing thing you did was get mesmerized by a drop of alcohol in the bottom of your cup. That was mostly just silly, though."

"Awesome."

"What about me?" Kurt piped up.

A pause. "Um…"

Kurt shot up, narrowly missing hitting his head on the ceiling but wincing anyway. "Oh, I got up way too fast. Medicine, please?"

Obeying Kurt's request, Blaine jumped down from his bed and got the ibuprofen from his drawer and a water bottle from his mini-fridge, handing both to Kurt who was still up on the bed. Kurt popped the pills back and chugged half the water bottle, then held it to his forehead.

"Okay. I'm ready. Tell me all of the embarrassing things I did last night."

"Do you really not remember? I didn't think you were that drunk. I mean you were pretty drunk, but I didn't think it was blackout level."

"Wait, let me try to remember…" Kurt trailed off and scrunched his face up to concentrate. The moment everything came back played out on Kurt's face as his mouth dropped open in horror. "No."

"Yes."

"Dancing?"

"Yes."

"Giant guy?"

"Hunter."

"Nice guy?"

"Jonathan."

"The one from my calc class?" Carter asked.

"The very same."

"What did he do?"

"One of the pledges, Hunter, came up to me and Kurt when we were dancing and started yelling at us and calling us fags and asking how the hell we got into the party. Your friend, Jonathan, came and defended us and offered to help me get you two home. He was really nice; you're going to have to do something for him when you see him on Tuesday in class," Blaine explained.

Kurt was pinching the bridge of his nose, Blaine assumed running through the night's events; Blaine could tell the exact second when Kurt got to the part of the night when things started getting naked.

"Oh, my God."

"I know."

"I didn't."

"You really did."

"I said that?"

"You were pretty clever."

"I can't believe I did that."

"It's nothing we hadn't already done."

Carter interjected again, "Whoa, I don't know what happened, but I have an idea where this conversation is going and I don't want to hear it, especially if I was in the room."

"You were in your bed. We were in mine," Blaine replied.

Kurt's face twisted back into that mask of horror from before. "Blaine!"

"What! You're the one who asked to have sex with Carter right below us!"

"_Blaine!"_

"You did!"

"He wasn't cognizant of that until you said it just now!"

"Can you guys please stop yelling?" Carter asked, pressing a hand to the side of his head. "And could you maybe share the medicine? Kurt, how are you using words like cognizant when you're hungover?"

"Being hungover doesn't impair my vocabulary, Carter."

"No, but being drunk impairs your filter," Blaine retorted, handing Carter two pills and a water bottle.

Carter took the proffered items like they were gold and he was a homeless man on the corner in the rain. He threw the pills back and downed the entire bottle, crushing it in his hand and throwing it behind him on his bed. "Man, last night was rough."

"You're telling me. I had to take care of you guys."

"Whatever, I've been told I'm pretty manageable when I'm drunk. It's your boyfriend that got out of control."

"You were the one making my drinks," Kurt pointed out. "I was only wasted because you made me drinks designed to make a girl easy to get in the sack."

"And Blaine, was Kurt easy to get in bed?"

Blaine glanced at Kurt who was giving him a death glare. He opted not to reply, but that was all the response Carter needed.

"Exactly. You're welcome."

Kurt groaned and fell back on the bed, throwing the pillow over his head.

Blaine knew Kurt was getting frustrated; if Blaine was telling the truth, he was too. Sometimes it felt like their relationship was just on open display for everyone and there wasn't a part of it that was private. It wasn't a relationship between Blaine and Kurt, but a relationship between Blaine and Kurt and Laurel and Carter and everyone else on the planet.

Which is why Blaine was getting more and more uneasy about talking to Laurel about their sex life. She was his older cousin, and he promised her that he'd talk to her if things were reaching that point. A promise is a promise, right? He couldn't break that. Especially not to her.

But Kurt was his boyfriend. To be honest, sometimes he felt like Kurt was his husband. And if he and Kurt were married they wouldn't have to report to anyone about when they were going to have sex or do this or do that. It was their private business and didn't need to be shared with anyone.

So where did that leave Blaine? He felt so torn. If he didn't tell Laurel about him and Kurt, then it felt like he was betraying her. But if he did tell her, it felt like he was betraying Kurt. Suddenly it was like no matter what he did, he couldn't win. There were too many people in his life vying for top position and one of them was family but one of them wasn't, but that didn't mean he didn't love them both equally. How do you choose in that situation? Really, how could anyone expect him to? Was it even normal to have to choose between your blood family and your chosen family?

Because at the end of the day, that's what it was coming down to. Laurel was his blood family, but Kurt was his chosen family. In fact, he and Kurt would probably get married and have kids and start their own family in the next decade or so. Family vs. Family. It hardly seemed fair.

Then again, why was Blaine even worrying about that? He was at a point in his life where there were people fighting to be his number one. He never would have thought that would happen, with the way his parents treated him, and Trevor. He didn't realize how damaged those things had made him until he met Kurt. Kurt helped mold him into a better person and make him realize that he was a good person; such a good person, in fact, that he had several people in his life all wanting to be THE person in his life.

Suddenly, he felt worried and relieved at the same time. Loved and unloved. Accepted and rejected. His life was turning into a series of contradictions.

With Kurt in his life, though, he was optimistic that the positive side of those contradictions could win out. Soon, he would be rid of the negative side completely. Kurt did that for him.

It was settled, then. Kurt won. He hated to admit it, because of everything Laurel had done for him, but he didn't want to think of Laurel as his closest friend just because he felt obligated to because she'd done things for him. At some point, he needed to stop feeling like he owed her. He knew that she wouldn't want him to think like that. So, if he took out his internal feeling of debt towards her, Kurt was the person he was closest to in his life.

Blaine decided then and there that he would do whatever it took to keep Kurt forever.

**Fin! I know, soooooo short. But I really wanted to finish and publish it tonight and it's so late and that just felt like an okay stopping place.**

**I think things might start to take a turn for the nasty soon. But I'm not sure. Don't hold me to that.**

**A few notes: I don't know anything about the Delta Phi fraternity other than I found them on a list of the frats at NYU so don't take any of my OCs or the opinions expressed about that organization in this fic seriously. It's all just made up in my mind. Also, that's about as far into smut as I will get. In truth it was a little bit too much for me as it was but I figured I'd leave it. But that's as far as I'll go. Just FYI.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the excruciatingly short chapter! Reviews make my heart sing :)**


	23. In Sickness and In Health

**I have very good news for you all! In the middle of my Beginning Acting class today, I was hit with all of these crazy awesome ideas for this story. As in, I've planned this chapter, the next, the one after that, and the one after that. The reason this is good for you is that the reason it takes me so long to update is because I'm waiting for an idea to hit me. Now I won't have to wait for that idea for the next four chapters because I've planned them all! Yay!**

**Anyway, I was super excited about it and I hope you guys are too! Thanks for sticking with me through all of my long pauses and not so fantastic chapters. I love you guys :)**

_October 2, 2012_

For what felt like the hundredth time, Blaine sneezed. In reality, it was probably only the tenth time, but it had been so many sneezes that people stopped saying "Bless you" and the professor was glaring at him.

Kurt leaned his mouth towards Blaine's ear and whispered, "Are you okay?"

"It's nothing," Blaine muttered, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.

In reality, Blaine felt awful. He couldn't breathe through his nose it was so stuffed up, his head was throbbing, his throat felt like a seamstress was using it as her pin cushion, he'd been throwing up all night and was still nauseas this morning, and his entire body just felt like the muscles were so worn out they would never move again. He was in pain and exhausted, but he didn't want to worry Kurt. It was probably just a cold or flu or something like that; if he went to a doctor they'd just tell him to buy over-the-counter drugs and he'd have gone for nothing. He could make it for a few days until he felt better.

Or not. A wave of nausea rolled over him and hit him so hard he bolted out of his seat, class be damned, and headed across the hall to where the bathroom was conveniently located, thank God.

A steady hand was rubbing soothing circles on his back and dabbing a warm, wet paper towel to his forehead. Whoever that person was, they were his favorite. Seriously, they could have anything they wanted. His house? Take it. His first born? Take it. His soul? Take it. This person was the most amazing person on the planet and he would love them for forever because in that moment nothing felt better than those circles and that damp paper towel.

"How are you doing? Do you think you're done?"

The relief that hit him at Kurt's voice was even better than the circles. If it was Kurt doing that, he was lucky; his first born would probably be Kurt's too. He definitely lucked out on that heat-of-the-moment promise.

"Yeah," he rasped, trying to clear his throat. "I think so."

The nausea had subsided again and he felt well enough to stand up. Kurt fixed him with a pointed look and said, "You're going to the doctor."

"I really don't think that's necessary," Blaine said. "Seriously, it's not a big deal. A stuffy nose, a headache, nausea; they're all pretty run-of-the-mill symptoms." He cut off abruptly and sneezed, then finished, "I'll be fine."

Kurt pressed the back of his hand to Blaine's forehead, then his cheeks, and grimaced. "You have a fever."

"I'm fine."

"Was this your first time throwing up?"

Blaine hesitated, wanting to lie but knowing he shouldn't. "No. I threw up all last night."

Instead of seeming angry that Blaine didn't tell him, Kurt's features softened. "Poor baby. I'm sorry. You could have texted me, you know. I would have come down and taken care of you."

"I'm fine," he insisted again.

"You're being stubborn," Kurt stated, slipping his hand into Blaine's and pulling them out of the bathroom and down the hall, both of them having given up on class. "And I'm making an appointment. Do you have insurance?"

"Yes, I'm covered under Laurel."

"Good."

Blaine rolled his eyes. There was no getting out of it now. Kurt was completely determined that Blaine was deathly ill and until Blaine did as he said, he'd never hear the end of it. He might as well just go to a stupid doctor appointment, have them tell him it's a simple cold, and be done with it. At least then Kurt might leave it alone, if he heard from a doctor instead of just Blaine himself.

"Fine," Blaine said, "You win. I'll go to the doctor."

"That was never in question, Blaine, but I'm glad you'll go willingly instead of me having to drag you kicking and screaming."

"I'm more than capable of making my own appointments, you know," Blaine remarked.

They walked hand-in-hand out of the building and down the sidewalk, headed back to Blaine's dorm until Carter got back from classes. "I know. But sometimes you don't take care of yourself very well or look out for your own well-being. So this is me doing that for you."

He decided not to say anything in response to that. Really, what more could he say? Kurt was right. And it was touching that Kurt wanted to take care of him. He already knew that, of course, but neither of them had really had any medical issues yet or anything like that. It was more of just emotional stuff. This was a nice reminder that in sickness and in health they'd be together and there for one another, for whatever the other needed. Sure, they weren't married yet, but why did that mean their level of commitment had to be limited because of that? They could hold true to those vows regardless of whether a piece of paper from the government gave them permission to.

They arrived at Blaine's room in a matter of minutes and immediately Blaine started climbing the ladder to his bed and collapsed, feeling dead just from the walk to his dorm. Kurt headed straight for Blaine's desk and opened his laptop, logging on.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked. He knew better than to ask how Kurt knew his password. Kurt knew everything about him.

"Looking up a doctor not too far from here that we can call and make an appointment with."

"Already? It could wait a little bit."

Kurt turned in the desk chair and fixed Blaine with a glare. "Blaine. Please. This is serious."

Blaine rolled his eyes. It wasn't that serious. Nonetheless, he let Kurt peruse the internet, googling the nearest doctor; generally, he'd have gone to his routine doctor, but since that was a pediatrician in Ohio he'd have to find a new one in New York to go to—preferably one for adults. When Kurt found one he was satisfied with, he pulled out his cell phone and started dialing a number he read from the computer screen.

A moment later, Kurt began speaking. "Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson…He's got a stuffy nose, headache, fatigue, scratchy throat, and he threw up all last night and this morning in class…Yes, he has insurance…Oh, tomorrow at 8am? Yes, that works, his classes don't start until 10am. That should be good, right, Blaine?"

"Oh, I actually get a say in this?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you for getting us in so quickly…You too." He hung up the phone and shut the laptop, walking towards the bunk beds. "We have an appointment at 8am tomorrow so you better be awake on time. I know how much you hate waking up early."

"_We_ have an appointment?"

"I'm going, of course. You didn't think you were going alone, did you?"

"I don't know," Blaine shrugged, reaching out his arm to brush some of the longer hairs out of his boyfriend's eyes.

"Well, you're not. I'm taking you. Okay?"

Really, what could Blaine do? If his boyfriend wanted to take care of him, who was he to object? "Alright."

Kurt smiled. "Good. Now since you're sick, we're not making out. If you get me sick then I can't take care of you. So, I'm going to do homework. Do you need anything?"

Blaine shook his head and curled onto his side with his back to the wall, smiling sleepily at Kurt. "No, I think I'm just going to take a nap."

"Okay, sweetie. Just let me know if you want anything, okay? I'm going to stay here just in case you need me."

"Sounds good," he muttered, already closing his eyes.

All of the craziness going on in his body made him so tired that the second he really got comfortable, he was fast asleep.

…

Blaine woke up after what he guessed must have been a few hours, but he neglected to open his eyes. He vaguely registered hushed voices in his room. Cracking one eye open, he spotted Kurt still at his desk chair and Carter sitting on the floor in front of the television, game controller in hand but game paused. He shut the eye again and concentrated on going back to sleep.

He couldn't, though. Not when he started paying better attention to their conversation.

"How is Scotty doing, anyway? I know Blaine texts him a lot. Is he doing better?" That was Kurt.

"Yeah, a lot better. Talking to Blaine is really helping. He needed that mentor, you know? Someone who had gone through the same things and came out on the other side." That was Carter.

"I definitely understand that."

They both paused, and Blaine wondered if maybe their brief intimate moment was over. But then Carter picked right back up. To be honest, Blaine was surprised that it was Carter continuing it and not Kurt, but he'd always had a sneaking suspicion that Carter wasn't the dick he made himself out to be; how he acted about Amanda said it all.

"Listen, I don't know Blaine very well, but that dude is like my brother now. If you hurt him—"

"That talk is really unnecessary, Carter. Blaine is my entire world."

He heard Carter take a deep breath. "Look, I'm just saying that because I can see the way he looks at you, and the way he talks about you when you're not around is like he'd die without you."

"I assure you, the feeling is mutual."

Another pause.

"You know, you and Blaine remind me of me and Amanda."

Even without looking, Blaine knew Kurt was smiling to himself. "Thank you. It's always nice to be compared to a heterosexual couple in a positive light."

"I really don't understand what the big deal is about gay people. Any idiot could see you two are head-over-fucking-heels in love. How could anyone be against that?"

Kurt hesitated before speaking in a soft voice, "You know, Carter, I like you. You're a good person."

"Did you not like me before?"

"I had my doubts. But I can see now that the whole douche bag, typical frat boy stereotype you have going on is just a mask."

There were noises that sounded like they were coming from the TV and Blaine cracked his eye open again for a second to see Carter had unpaused the game, but was smirking.

"Yeah, well. If I let people know how nice I am I just sound like that pathetic loser that can't function because his girlfriend is on the other side of the country and he feels lost without her. See how lame that sounded?"

"On the contrary. I think that sounded beautiful."

"Exactly."

The last thing Blaine registered before falling back to sleep was Kurt rolling his eyes.

…

There was a gentle nudging that made him roll from side to side, but Blaine was so comfortable and still just felt utterly exhausted that he didn't move.

"Blaine, sweetheart, you have to get up. We have to get to your doctor appointment."

"Shut up, Kurt. I agreed to let you stay on the condition that you wouldn't wake me up early."

"I don't really have a choice, Carter, I have to wake him up and he's being stubborn. He's not a morning person."

"I know. Neither am I. And since he spent all of the night before last throwing up, and now you're waking me up early today, he's keeping me from my sleep."

"No offense, but you're not really my top priority right now. You could have gone to sleep early last night. You chose to stay up late playing Modern-Day War Tactics or whatever that ridiculous game was."

"_Modern Warfare_, Kurt. It was _Modern Warfare: 3_."

Blaine groaned. "For the love of God, if you two will shut up, I will get out of bed."

"Praise Jesus," Carter sighed; Blaine heard the bed shift below him and pictured Carter rolling over and getting comfortable again to go back to sleep.

Kurt leaned his forehead against Blaine's temple and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Time to get up," he whispered.

"I know," Blaine whispered back.

Neither one of them moved. Kurt was curled around his body, playing big spoon. He felt Kurt shift upwards a little bit and hook his chin over his shoulder, talking with their cheeks pressed together. "Blaine, we're going to be late."

"Just one more minute, Soulmate. I promise I'll get up in a minute." Blaine decided to leave out the fact that he didn't want to get up because he felt like he might throw up.

Carter groaned. "Did you seriously just call him Soulmate? That's just…"

"Go back to sleep, C."

"No can do, B. Unfortunately, between your lovey-dovey boyfriend and your fatal illness, I can see now that I won't be able to sleep until you two leave for the doctor. So get your dead ass out of bed and get dressed and get the hell out of here."

"Don't play dumb. I know you secretly think Kurt and I are adorable."

"Disgusting."

"You said we reminded you of you and Amanda," Blaine pointed out, slowly climbing down the ladder so as not to jar his stomache too much. When he got to the bottom, he let out a breath of relief and treaded carefully over to his closet to pull out an outfit for the day.

"You were awake?" Carter asked.

Kurt came up behind Blaine with clothes in hand. "I already picked your outfit out last night. Your welcome."

Blaine turned around to step away from the closet and get dressed; Carter was still staring at him in awe before switching his gaze to Kurt. "How are you not surprised that he was awake last night when we were talking?"

Kurt shrugged. "Because I knew Blaine was awake, at least for a little bit. I could tell."

"How could you tell that?"

"He breathes more deeply when he's sleeping than when he's awake."

"You do realize how creepy that sounds, right?"

"That's not creepy," Blaine defended, kissing Kurt on the cheek. "Kurt makes these facial expressions when he sleeps. It's like this," Blaine attempted to make the face Kurt did, which earned a half-hearted slap on his arm from Kurt.

"Stop doing that!"

"That's what you look like!"

Kurt said something else, but suddenly Blaine felt too woozy to pick up on it. He clamped a hand over his mouth and shut his eyes tight, trying desperately not to vomit. He'd had enough of that over the past two days.

"Shit," Carter muttered, grabbing the trashcan and dumping the trash out on the floor, holding the now-empty bin out to him. "Here. In here."

"We need to get him to the bathroom," Kurt said, at Blaine's side with the reassuring circles on his back.

Blaine just held onto the plastic can for a second, not throwing up but feeling the overwhelming need to; he heard Carter retort, "Do you not see him? He's not going to make it to the bathroom. Just let him throw up here."

"It's okay," Blaine breathed out, holding the trash bucket back to Carter. "I'm fine. Let's just get dressed and go, okay?"

All this arguing was just making Blaine feel worse; especially since he knew Kurt and Carter had a bromance going on and just didn't want to admit it.

"Sure, yeah. Let me just get my clothes." Kurt headed toward the desk chair where his clothes were laid across the back.

Despite how awful he felt, Blaine had to laugh. "You brought your clothes over already?"

"No. You packed my drawer with your things and unpacked them here." The second Carter opened his mouth, Kurt cut him off. "And don't even with your commentary, Carter. I know if you and Amanda lived together your clothes would mingle together."

"You and Blaine don't live together. In fact, _I _live with him."

As Blaine finished changing clothes, pulling his shirt over his head, he sighed. "Can you guys just cut it out already? We all know your conversation last night while I was sleeping. You two like each other. You're friends. Admit it. Embrace it."

Kurt and Carter shared a look, and Blaine swore there was even a small smile there. He didn't say anything, though. If that was their version of acknowledging their friendship he'd accept it; just like Kurt knew and accepted that Carter's version of showing affection was a fist-bump.

Finally, Kurt was ready, and he and Blaine were able to head to the doctor's office. Partly because Blaine didn't know where he was going and partly because he was too sick to do anything but sluggishly drag his feet, Kurt led the way. They took a subway for about ten minutes before getting off at a stop they never had before and heading towards one of the many tall buildings of New York City.

When they entered the big glass doors, they took the elevator up to only the third floor. Kurt led Blaine to a desk to check them in.

"Hello, my name is Kurt Hummel. We have an appointment for my boyfriend Blaine Anderson with Dr. Lowe."

The receptionist nodded her head, typing something into the computer before handing them a clipboard with paperwork. "Right. Take this and fill it out. The doctor will see you shortly."

Kurt grabbed the clipboard and pen and sat down on a chair next to Blaine, beginning to fill out his paperwork for him.

"Don't you think I should be the one filling that out?" Blaine asked.

"I'm simply filling in the parts I know so that you don't have to do as much."

"I'm not that sick. I can fill out paperwo—how do you know my social security number?"

Blaine's boyfriend just waved his hand like it was no big deal and said, "Oh, I think I read it somewhere once. I'm good with numbers."

"Where would you have read it?" Blaine asked, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. He'd been focusing on the _tap-tap-tap_ of Kurt hitting the pen against the clipboard, but suddenly it stopped. When Kurt didn't answer him, he knew something was wrong. He opened his eyes and, with great effort, lifted his head up. "What?"

"It, um…I need your parents' information."

"Wh-What for?"

"Just medical history, I guess…and they need to know if-…if you have any siblings…"

Blaine took the clipboard. "I'll take over from here."

As Blaine finished filling out all the paperwork, answering every inane question and filling in every blank and circling every correct option, he could feel Kurt staring over his shoulder. Eventually, Kurt stopped pretending he wasn't looking and just rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, openly watching.

Kurt had a thing for Blaine's hands.

"Your blood type is AB-negative?"

"Yes."

"That's the rarest blood type. Less than one-percent of people in the US have it."

"I know. That's why I donated at every blood drive Dalton hosted."

"How do you know your blood type off the top of your head? I can never remember mine."

"I…I heard it said the night…the night my parents kicked me out." He took a deep breath, feeling Kurt tilt his head up to look at his face but not saying anything about it. Instead, he continued, almost to himself, "I'll never forget a single aspect of that night. Even the random things doctors were saying around me."

"Blaine Anderson?" A nurse said, walking out of a door in the corner dressed in scrubs the color of a little kid's toothpaste.

Suddenly, Blaine was hit with the wondering thought of if his little brother used the same toothpaste he did when he was Alex's age.

Thinking about Alex gave him a sick feeling in his stomache that had nothing to do with nausea.

"Yes, I'm here," he croaked, standing up. Kurt stood with him and took his hand.

"The doctor will see you now."

…

Turns out, Blaine and Kurt were both wrong. Blaine had strep throat. Which was not just a cold or flu, but not a fatal disease. It was good enough for Blaine. He could accept that maybe he wasn't quite as okay as he thought, just as long as Kurt wasn't right either. They ended up having to go fill a prescription that he'd have to take, and he would have to miss classes for the rest of the week. That part had good and bad aspects; on the one hand, he wouldn't have to go to class, which would be a nice reprieve, but on the other hand, that was a lot of class to miss that he'd have to make up for, and he didn't know how he was going to catch up for three days' worth of missed classes. It would definitely take a lot of help from Kurt.

Kurt. Kurt, who was the best boyfriend in the entire world, Blaine was coming to find out. Well, he'd already known, but Kurt was continuing to prove it.

Over the next three days, Kurt went to all of Blaine's professors' office hours and let them know of the situation. Blaine imagined Kurt walking into all of his professors' offices and saying, "My name is Kurt Hummel and my boyfriend is in your (insert class here). He has strep throat and I'm here to ask about any notes or quizzes or homework or tests he might be missing in his absence." It was almost laughable, really. Especially since just because they were in New York didn't mean marching up as a male and announcing you had a boyfriend was acceptable for everyone; ignorance is a disease infecting every city in the world.

So really, after that first day after the appointment, Blaine didn't worry about classwork, because Kurt had him covered. The professors usually had a policy that stated if you miss class you have to get notes from a fellow classmate, but Blaine suspected Kurt fixed that real quick. "I don't think you understand. My boyfriend is ill. He spends entire days sleeping because he doesn't have energy to do much else. When he's not sleeping, he's spending hours curved around a toilet in those god-awful community bathrooms this university deems clean simply because janitors do a quick clean-up twice a day that probably does little for the germs around a toilet. He can't get out of bed to go fetch notes from classmates. I don't have time to go sit in on all of his classes and take notes for him. I'm simply asking for the material you cover so that he doesn't fall behind because of a health issue he has no control over."

Yeah. Kurt was pretty awesome.

But Kurt wasn't the only one. Even Carter was helping out. Since Blaine was on the top bunk, if he ever needed anything, Carter told him to just ask. He was hesitant at first, he didn't want to bother Carter, but when he was woken up in the middle of a nap by the overwhelming urge to vomit, he had no choice but to hastily ask for the trash can. Carter had it to him in record time and held it up to his head at the top bunk until he was done, then went and cleaned it out. When he returned, he had a bottle of water, some Saltine crackers, and grabbed Blaine's medication from the desk and offered it to him. Carter was the best roommate Blaine could have asked for.

Even Jonathan helped out. Jonathan, the guy Blaine had met fleetingly at a frat party that stood up for him before they even formally knew each other. After that party, Jonathan and Carter became even better friends, and soon Jonathan was coming over to play video games and just hang out with Carter all the time. Sometimes, Blaine would wake up from a nap to hear two voices from the lower bunk. It was obviously not Kurt, Jonathan's voice was much lower, but until he peeked his head down over the bottom of his mattress and its frame he had no idea what random person was in his room.

Jonathan remembered him, expressed his condolences at Blaine's sickness and offered him a turn in their video games, which Blaine gladly accepted. Sleeping all day every day got boring after a while.

That was exactly how Kurt found him when he came to Blaine's dorm at the end of his classes on Friday; playing _Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3_.

"_Come on! Shoot him! Shoot him!"_ Carter yelled, leaning forward and pressing the controller so hard it was like he thought that the sheer force of his playing could take him into the game.

"Blaine, where are you at, man?" Jonathan asked.

"Hiding in the corner on the roof of one of the buildings. I'm being a sniper," he replied.

He spotted Kurt walking through the door and grinned for the first time in days. "Hey, baby. I'm playing a video game."

"Yes, I see that," Kurt stated, looking at the screen like it was covered in swamp algae and cockroaches.

Jonathan and Carter sacrificed a quick glance and nod at Kurt in acknowledgment of his presence before returning their focus to the screen. "Sup, Kurt," they said simultaneously.

Kurt made eye contact with Blaine as he dropped his backpack by the beds and climbed the ladder to get to Blaine. "Do they always do that?"

"Yes," they both answered at the same time.

The couple on the top bunk made eye contact and shook their heads with a small smile. It was nice to see Carter make such good friends who were so accepting of Blaine and Kurt. Not that either of them would mind if Carter had friends who weren't so celebrating of homosexuality, but it seemed as if Carter minded. With that, it was even nicer to know that Carter almost considered himself family with them. Blaine believed it was fate for him and Carter to be roommates just as much as it was that he and Kurt met over the summer at CSCC.

Everything in Blaine's life was slowly falling into place. It had started happening the day he met Kurt and hadn't stopped since. Although, Blaine had to admit, some of it had nothing to do with Kurt. Regardless of his boyfriend, he would have been assigned to room with Carter. He already knew David and Wes. But he couldn't help but to attach all the good things in his life to Kurt.

"You seem like you're finally starting to feel better, hm?" Kurt asked, bumping his shoulder against Blaine's with a smile. They were both sitting with their feet hanging off the edge of the bed, their backs against the wall.

Blaine shot someone trying to shoot Jonathan and nodded. "Yeah. I haven't felt nauseas at all today."

"Yes! Thanks for that save, Blaine. Yeah, it's been great hanging out with Carter in a room that doesn't reek of puke for once."

"I'd think you'd be used to that living at the frat house," Carter teased, sneaking around a dilapidated warehouse.

"Nice one," Jonathan said.

That was one of the things Blaine liked about Jonathan. He was in a fraternity, but he wasn't snobby about it. He could take the jokes about it if he knew they were true.

They played for another half-hour with Kurt watching patiently. To be honest, Blaine was surprised that it took Kurt that long before he started to get bored. He did assume, though, that when it happened Kurt would start voicing his boredom loudly to the whole room and complaining until the game was shut off or Blaine agreed to stop playing and do something else with him. What he didn't expect was for Kurt to casually place his hand on his knee and then slowly start inching it up his thigh. Once he started dancing his fingers across Blaine's zipper, the controller slipped out of his hands.

He grabbed Kurt's wrist and gave him a pointed look.

"Blaine! What are you doing up there? Get back in the game, man!" Jonathan shouted.

Blaine watched Kurt's eyes turn from feigning innocence to openly mischievous. "Kurt, stop," Blaine murmured in a low voice, holding Kurt's gaze.

A slow smirk etched its way on Kurt's face as he shook his head and swung one leg over both of Blaine's, sitting up on his lap (as best as he could with the ceiling so close to them on the top bunk) and straddled him. He swooped down and latched his lips on Blaine's neck, one hand on his chest and one hand raking through the curls on the back of his head.

"_Blaine! _What the hell are you doi—?" Carter cut his question off before he could even finish. "Seriously? You're making out the middle of the game?"

"Really?" Blaine heard the bed shifting below him and knew Jonathan was standing up to join Carter in watching them. "Dang. I don't know, Carter, if I was getting action like that I probably wouldn't be playing this stupid game either."

Kurt took his mouth off of Blaine's neck, causing Blaine to whimper, and turned his head around, glaring at them. "You can either watch or get out."

"But this is my room!" Carter protested.

Jonathan shifted from foot to foot. "Well, he did say we could watch—"

"I'm not watching them make out, Jonathan. That's a line I never want to cross with Blaine. Let's just go to the Delta Phi house."

"Whatever. I'm cool either way."

Carter and Jonathan shut off the game system and left, Carter grumbling about being sexiled and Jonathan grumbling about how that would be interesting to watch—for research purposes, of course.

As soon as they were gone, Kurt went for Blaine's lips, but Blaine held a hand between them, gently pushing Kurt back. "I'm still sick, Kurt. Just because I feel better doesn't mean I'm not still contagious."

"I've spent every day with you the entire time you've been sick. So has Carter. Neither one of us has caught anything. I think we're okay."

"I just don't want to get you sick," Blaine insisted.

"You won't."

Blaine didn't want to get his boyfriend sick, but at the same time, it had been over a week since they'd been able to do anything, and he could only ward off Kurt's advances for so long before his self-control collapsed and he gave in.

After all, his boyfriend was kind of really hot.

Even though Blaine was okay with kissing Kurt, the universe wasn't; the second they connected Blaine's cell phone went off beside him.

"Mmm, don't answer it," Kurt muttered against his lips.

"I have to," Blaine sighed, "What if it's important?"

"They'll call a second time. If they call again you can answer it."

That was good enough for Blaine. He went back to kissing Kurt, not really caring about his cell phone. It stopped ringing, and since it was silent for a moment he thought they were in the clear.

Until it started ringing again.

Kurt groaned in frustration, a low and guttural sound Blaine had never heard from Kurt before, and answered Blaine's phone himself. "Hello?" he grumbled.

In an instant, the frown left his face and he clutched the phone harder. "Laurel, you're hysterical, I can't understand you."

"It's Laurel?" Blaine asked.

He got a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomache, which would have been a comfort if it was nausea, but it wasn't. It was something worse.

"Okay, okay, hold on. Let me give the phone to Blaine." Kurt held the phone out, eyes wide. "I don't know. I don't know."

Blaine snatched the phone from his hand and held it to his ear. "Laurel?"

"Blaine!" Her voice was at a much higher pitch than normal and as soon as she started talking, it was so fast he almost couldn't understand her. "Blaine, oh my God, I've been trying to reach you all day but my phone wasn't working it was doing that thing that it does where it won't get signal even though it's in a signal range and then it wasn't sending my calls out and it was glitching and then it froze and I had to turn it off then on and that fixed the frozen part but—"

"Laurel, Laurel, calm down. Take a deep breath," he heard her do as instructed through the phone, "Okay. Now count to ten. When you're done, tell me what happened."

There was a pause as Laurel counted to ten in her mind. Then, "I was at school, at Dalton. In the middle of class, the principal pulled me out and said my mother was there to see me."

Already, Blaine didn't like the sound of this. "Your mother pulled you out of class? Sounds like you were a student instead of the teacher."

"I know. And you know I haven't spoken to my mom in months, since she called just to check up on me like she does every so often. She's never visited me in person, Blaine. Ever."

"What was she there to tell you, Laurel?"

"Something…Something's happened. In our family."

"What was it?"

All of these scenarios ran through his head about one of his grandparents dying, or a great aunt or uncle or something.

"My mom found out from my dad who found out from his brother, your father, that Alex is sick."

_Alex is sick._

Somehow, Blaine instinctively knew that Alex was sick in a completely different way than Blaine was sick.

Laurel had found out about Alex the night of that horrific party, the day it happened. It took her a while to wrap her mind around it, too, but since that night neither of them had spoken of it. Not at the airport, not on the phone or over Skype. It was forbidden territory. Alex went into the category of his parents and Trevor; not because of anything Alex had done, but because it hurt too much to think of the brother Blaine would probably never get the chance to know.

That seemed even more likely for a totally different reason now.

"What do you mean, Alex is sick?"

"He…Well, I don't know all of the specifics, but he has…um…he has leukemia. Some form of it."

It felt like Blaine's world crashed down around him all over again. When would that ever stop?

"Blaine, that's not it." Why was there always something more? "Alex's parents…your parents…they were telling my dad how Alex has a really rare blood type."

"No," Blaine said, in denial. He shook his head.

Kurt tilted his head to the side, touching a gentle hand to Blaine's bicep.

"He's AB-negative."

"No," he repeated, because he could see where she was going with this and he didn't like it.

"Blaine, you're the only other match in the family. Your parents, they were saying how they might need AB-negative blood for treatment or something for Alex. They're coming to see you."

_They're coming to see you._

He felt numb. He didn't know what to do with the situation. It was heartbreaking because of Alex and infuriating because of his parents. He didn't want to see them even more now because of their confrontation at the grocery store.

"When are they coming?" he managed to say. He was surprised at how level his voice sounded.

"Their flight took off two hours ago."

Blaine knew what that meant. He'd flown from Ohio to New York City already. That meant they were already here.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine," Laurel said, and he could hear the tears in her voice.

"It's okay, Laur. Thank you for telling me. I'll talk to you later."

"Blaine!—"

Blaine hung up the phone and tossed it on his pillow, staring at it.

He felt Kurt place his hands on either side of his face and force him to look at him. "Blaine? What happened?"

"Alex is sick."

"Like, how you're sick?"

Blaine could only shake his head; he knew Kurt got the message, just like Kurt got the message when his father told him the same thing about his mother so many years ago.

"Who's coming?" Kurt's tone was scared, like he already knew but needed confirmation.

The knock on the door was all the answer he needed, but Blaine replied anyway.

"My parents."

**Oh goodness. Just…oh goodness, oh goodness, oh goodness. I don't even know. My head is exploding. Like, my dorm room is a mess right now because it's covered in my brain and blood and fragments of my skull. It's super gross.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! I know we were having fun when our boys were happy but things couldn't stay all rainbows and sunshine forever. Sorry! I hope you all don't hate me too much. :)**

**Reviews are appreciated! :D**


	24. Escape

**Such an unexpected turn of events, I know! I'm so sorry. I know a lot of you are heartbroken over Alex. Don't worry, I am too. We'll get through this together!**

**I just want to say that I don't know anything about any medical stuff. I've researched leukemia a bit for this story, but if things aren't exactly true or correct or realistic, please don't hate me and just know that this is a work of fiction where I have room to take creative liberties and change things to fit my story.**

For a moment, both Blaine and Kurt remained in their seats, frozen, heads facing the door where the insistent knocking was still going on.

"Blaine," Kurt murmured, his voice subdued, "we have to let them in sometime."

Nothing felt right. Kurt's touch, the sound of his voice, Blaine's own blood pumping through his body; it all just felt so wrong. Like the universe had somehow shifted.

Slowly, Blaine met Kurt's eyes and nodded. Kurt shimmied off of his lap and gestured for Blaine to go down the ladder first, Kurt following close behind. As Blaine placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it, he thanked whatever higher powers were at work that Carter and Jonathan had left; he didn't want them to see this.

His parents were standing there, looking as poised as ever. His mother in one of those business suits for women with the pencil skirt, his father in a business suit that looked like it was custom made to match his mother's. They stood there for a moment, looking disgusted by their surroundings but saying nothing. At first glance, they looked the same as they always had.

Their facial expressions gave them away. His mother had her lips pursed, normal for her, but her forehead was littered with frown lines and her crows feet were especially prominent paired with the uncharacteristic bags under her eyes. If Blaine looked really closely, he thought he could see that her make-up hadn't been freshly applied, but was actually left-over from the previous day. His father wasn't as easy to read as his mother, though. His father's hair was still perfectly combed back, his suit neatly ironed, his tie tightly knotted and straight. The thing that gave his father away was his eyes; Blaine could read his father's emotions through his eyes.

He hated that he and his father had that in common.

"Are you going to invite us in or just stand there all day?" his father snapped, surveying the room like it was a dirty, dingy cave.

Blaine stepped aside and held the door open for them to come in, but chose to stay silent.

His mother sighed as she entered the room. "Really, Blaine, I know we raised you better than that."

"Don't you mean Laurel raised me better than that?"

His parents narrowed their eyes at him but said nothing. They went around his room, slowly picking things up and placing them back down, looking at pictures, opening drawers.

It made him angry. What right did they have to look through all of his things? And Carter's too, because how would they know what belonged to him and what didn't? They hadn't known who he was for the last 4 years.

He opened his mouth to start yelling at them when Kurt's hand found his. He'd almost forgotten Kurt was even there, but once Kurt met his eyes and gave his hand a small squeeze, a reassurance, he felt better. Kurt was grounding him.

The interaction was not lost on his mother.

"I see you're still with that boy," she commented, tone like poison.

"Kurt. His name is Kurt. And he's standing right here," Blaine retorted.

"It's fine, Blaine," Kurt muttered. "There are more pressing issues at hand than my name."

Both of his parents froze where they stood. Blaine held his breath, waiting for it. Waiting for them to say something, anything. It was hard to tell that they cared about what was happening at all.

"So you know then," his father stated.

It wasn't a question, but Blaine replied, "Yes."

"How?"

"Laurel called a few minutes ago, right before you guys got here."

His mother asked, "How much did she tell you?"

"Not much," Blaine hedged. "She didn't know much. Just that Alex has leukemia." He immediately regretted phrasing it so bluntly as he watched his mother flinch at the word. "And that you need my help." His father closed his eyes, but neither of his parents said anything, so he continued. "I'm surprised you even want my blood. Aren't you afraid I have AIDS?"

"We thought about that," his father admitted, though he didn't look ashamed. "But we don't have much of a choice." He sighed, like what he was going to say next physically caused him pain. "We…we need you, Blaine."

The fact that his parents looked so uncomfortable just to be in the same room with him, and that they hated to admit they needed him, even though it was to save their other son's life, felt like a spear in his gut. He wondered why he even still referred to him as his parents at all.

He decided he wouldn't anymore. From now on, they were just Richard and Charlotte Anderson.

Charlotte turned her gaze from a picture of Kurt and Blaine together on Blaine's desk to meeting Blaine's eyes directly. "We're prepared to pay you, however much you ask for."

_What?_

His heart was hammering in his chest and his head was pounding in rhythm with his pulse. They thought they would have to _pay him _to help his own _brother? _A brother who was only 3 years old? What kind of a sick person did they think he was?

"I don't want your money," he choked out.

The medicine he'd been on for his strep throat had made him feel better that day, but with everything going on it just brought his symptoms back full force. His body was exhausted, his head was like an anvil on his neck, his stomache felt queasy.

Sensing his discomfort, Kurt led him over to Carter's bottom bunk and sat him down on the edge of the bed. Without a word, he went over to Blaine's desk, popped open the pill container and spilled two into his hand, grabbed a water bottle from the case beside the desk and returned to Blaine, offering the medication and water.

"Do you think you're going to be sick?" Kurt asked, kneeling in front of Blaine and scrutinizing his face. "Do you need the trash can?"

Blaine could only shake his head. He was starting to realize that this wasn't his strep throat suddenly getting worse again, this was a panic attack.

And really, how could he not have a panic attack in this situation? His brother was dying, the one he'd only recently found out about. Mr. and Mrs. Anderson had suddenly come back into his life in the biggest way possible. He was coming to figure out that he could delude himself into thinking his life was great when Kurt was around, but he'd never escape his past.

In a flash, Kurt was grabbing his face, forcing him to look at him.

"Look at me, Blaine," Kurt commanded. His tone was firm but loving. "You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. Take deep breaths."

He tried, but his chest felt like it had suddenly closed up the way for oxygen to get to his lungs so it only went in his windpipe but no further.

"What's going on?" Charlotte asked, and to her credit she sounded almost concerned.

Kurt ignored them used one hand to comb through some of the curls framing Blaine's face. "Just take slow, deep breaths. Concentrate on filling your lungs and then blowing it all out."

He couldn't; they were blocked. But for Kurt, he tried. He opened his mouth and tried to take in air, sucking like he was trying to drink a thick milkshake through a plastic straw. Air streamed in, breaking that barrier and filling his lungs. He held the air for a few seconds, reveling in it, and began to blow it all out.

"Good. Good job, sweetheart."

"What's the matter with him?" Richard snapped.

Slowly, the world started making sense again. He could breathe properly, the room wasn't spinning anymore, Kurt's face wasn't blurry. It was all going to be okay.

He nodded mutely at Kurt, the movement seeming to break something in his boyfriend, Kurt's entire body relaxing. With Blaine back, Kurt could now focus on the Andersons. He whirled his head around, moving his hands from Blaine's face to Blaine's knees. "Your _son_ had a panic attack."

"That's absurd; Blaine doesn't get panic attacks."

"Actually, Mr. Anderson, since the night you broke his bones and tossed him on the street like some sort of animal, he does have panic attacks. If a situation is overwhelming or reminds him of events from the past, like that night. You have yourselves to thank for that."

Mrs. Anderson spoke up, effectively ending whatever rude comment her husband was about to make. "Was that medication for his so-called panic attacks?"

"No, that was for my strep throat," Blaine answered.

"Oh, please, Blaine. You probably just have a cold. You're always so dramatic," she sighed, waving her hand.

Blaine just about lost it. "Really? Is that what you told Alex when he first started getting sick? How long did it take you to get him to the hospital and actually have him evaluated?"

Richard and Charlotte looked down at the ground, for the first time actually seeming distraught about their youngest son's condition. It almost made Blaine feel bad about what he said. But not quite.

"I don't want your money," he reiterated. "Jesus, the kid's only 3 years old. And he's my brother. Did you really think you'd have to pay me to get me to help?"

"You mean you'll do it?" The hopeful and almost relieved tone in Charlotte's voice reminded Blaine that these people hadn't always been so mean. They were once his parents; they once cared for him in the same way they cared for Alex now.

"Of course I will," he replied with more conviction than he intended. "But I don't even know what it is that you need me to do."

Richard gripped the back of Carter's desk chair like it was the only thing keeping him standing. "Alexander has what's called Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, or ALL. It's a type of blood cancer. It starts from white blood cells in the bone marrow and develops from cells called lymphocytes, which is a type of white blood cell central to the immune system, or from lymphoblasts, which is an immature type of lymphocyte.

"ALL invades the blood and can spread to other organs. It doesn't normally produce tumors like other types of cancer. It's an acute type of leukemia, which means it can progress quickly." Blaine watched as the strong, self-assured man he'd known since birth took a steady breath to keep from crying. It was an eerie sight. "Without treatment, it can be fatal within a few months."

Blaine tried to wrap his head around all of the medical terms and the specifics of his brother's illness. His baby brother who hadn't even properly started school, or learned to read or write, or how to count all the way to infinity, or all the colours of the rainbow.

A warm arm wrapped around his waist as the bed dipped beside him where Kurt sat down. "What are his odds?" Kurt asked.

To the Andersons' credit, neither of them looked too disturbed to see Kurt joining this family conversation. They were probably too preoccupied with their real son to worry about the social life of their disowned one.

"Alex's age is actually an advantage in his case. Young patients tend to have a better outlook," Charlotte answered.

"He's going to need healthy blood," Richard said, looking directly at Blaine. It made Blaine shudder to make eye contact with the man, but Kurt's hold on him kept him together. "The cancer is in his blood. For treatment, we want to do a bone marrow transplant. It involves high doses of chemotherapy and possibly radiation, followed by a transplant of bone-forming stem cells. These stem cells usually come from a donor. That's where you come in, Blaine."

"Okay," Blaine said immediately. To his surprise, he understood most of what Mr. Anderson was saying. "So what's the plan? When are we doing this?"

"Hold on a second," Kurt interjected before either adult had the chance to answer Blaine's question. "Blaine still has school. He's already missed 3 days because of his strep throat, he can't miss any more or he'll fall too far behind to catch up."

Blaine turned to his boyfriend carefully, eyes narrowing. Surely he wasn't saying that Blaine shouldn't do it. Surely he wouldn't be against Blaine saving his brother's life. "What are you saying, Kurt?" He asked, because he didn't want to get ahead of himself and assume things and get angry before understanding what his boyfriend was suggesting.

"Not what you think I am, I can assure you. God, Blaine, do you really think I'd say that you shouldn't save your own brother? What kind of a person do you think I am?" Kurt looked hurt for a moment—making Blaine immediately regret his train of thought—and continued. "I'm saying that your parents have already offered to pay, an offer you rightly declined. However, if they have money to throw at you, they might as well make it useful and have Alex transferred to a hospital here in New York City. That way your involvement in Alex's treatment won't interfere with your school work and he'll still get the treatment he needs."

Charlotte spoke up again, "We've actually already looked into that. NYU has a cancer institute, in the NYU Cancer Langone Medical Center. Among the many types of cancers they treat is leukemia, acute and chronic. They also have a specific pediatrics care department where they treat children with various cancers and blood disorders, including leukemia. The care is very high-rated. We set up an appointment to visit the facilities this evening. If everything looks to our standards, we'll be flying back to Ohio tonight and then returning to New York tomorrow with Alex to start treatment immediately."

The full force of what this would all mean was finally hitting Blaine. These people, the ones he used to call his parents, would be living in the same city with him. He knew they had a condo somewhere in New York City that they often flew and visited when Blaine was little, so they had a place to stay. With Alex being under care at Blaine's school, they'd probably even see a lot more of each other than Blaine wanted.

Sure, he wanted to help his brother, but why did it have to come with Richard and Charlotte?

It didn't matter. He'd do anything to save that sweet, little boy from the grocery store. The one that was his spitting image. The one Kurt cradled on his hip as if he were their child.

He wanted to say yes. He wanted to tell them to go to their appointment and bring Alex. He wanted to say _something_. But his brain wasn't connecting with his mouth. All he could do was stare between the strangers invading his room.

When he finally formed words, they weren't the ones he'd been expecting. "How'd you know I go to NYU?"

"My brother informed me of your new residence," Richard answered cooly.

Not "your uncle," but "my brother." That stung. But that wasn't even the worst of it. For a split second, Blaine had been hoping that they might have remembered that from when he told them at the grocery store. Sure, there had been other things said and yelled, but he had foolishly hoped that these people—god, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he couldn't; his _parents_—had cared enough to remember what little he'd told them about his life after the night they kicked him out.

Didn't it bother them that they didn't know him anymore? Didn't it bother him that they'd lost the past 4 years of their son's life? Didn't they think about him at all while he was gone?

While he was gone. It made him sound like he was on a fucking vacation.

"I think it's best if you leave," Blaine announced. His abrupt declaration startled everyone in the room. To appease the sudden tension, he added, "I still have the same phone number. My cell phone was the only thing I was able to keep the night you threw me out. You can call me when you land tomorrow and we'll go from there."

The two invaders exchanged a look, then turned back to Blaine. "We don't have your number," Charlotte said.

They deleted his number?

This just could not get any worse.

"Oh, for the love of God, here," Kurt snapped, stalking across the room to jot Blaine's number on a post-it note and ripping it off the stack from his desk. "That's the number." He flung his hand out to hand the note to Blaine's mother.

She tentatively took it and slipped it into her purse, then headed for the door, Richard following behind.

"We'll be in touch," he said as he shut the door behind him on his way out.

With his stupid parents finally gone, Blaine fell back and collapsed onto Carter's bed, throwing his arm over his eyes as if that could erase the picture of his parents in his room.

It didn't.

"What do you need?" Kurt asked. He was still standing by the desk, looking unsure. "Just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you. Do you feel sick? Do you need more medicine, like for a headache? Do you need water?"

"Kurt. Stop," Blaine sighed. He extended one arm and shifted over on the bed. "I just need you."

Kurt melted on the spot and slowly came over to the bed. He crawled on beside Blaine and extended his body, lying down. He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and his right arm across Blaine's waist, Blaine's right arm coming around Blaine's body to hold Kurt tightly to him, running the fingers of his left hand through Kurt's hair.

"Shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"No. I need to hold you. I need to have you in my arms, physically feel you, and know that you're not going anywhere."

"Never ever."

Ten minutes later, they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other.

…

"Seriously? In my bed?"

Carter's voice woke Blaine with a start. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and craned his neck to lift his head up, looking around. When he noticed how close he was to the ground, unusual for him since his bed was much closer to the ceiling, he leaned up on his elbows. The movement caused Kurt to slide from his chest and wake up too.

"Sorry, C," Blaine offered, covering his mouth to stifle a yawn.

"Dude, you had sex in my bed. You really think 'sorry' is gonna cut it?"

"We did _not _have sex in your bed, Carter," Kurt corrected. "Blaine's par—"

"We were tired. I had gone to the bathroom and was too exhausted to climb up onto my own bed so Kurt and I just took a nap on your bed. No big deal."

Blaine didn't want Carter to know about his parents or Alex. To be honest, anytime his family or home life was brought up with his roommate, Blaine usually changed the subject. He knew Carter probably got suspicious but knew better than to probe too far; just like Blaine knew better than to ask too much about Amanda's situation, which was progressively getting worse from what he could tell.

"Right," Carter said, eyeing them both. He rolled his eyes. "Well are you going to get out of my bed now that I'm back?"

"Sure. Sorry."

The couple slowly climbed out of bed and stood up, stretching from their nap. "What time is it?" Kurt wondered aloud.

"Almost 8 o'clock," Carter answered.

Shit. They'd slept through the entire afternoon and evening. It was acceptable for Blaine, he was sick, but not for Kurt. Maybe Blaine's illness had taken a bigger toll on Kurt than he'd thought.

He hated that. He hated that anytime something messed up his life, Kurt's life was messed up too. Why was Kurt always collateral damage? It didn't seem fair that just because they were together, Kurt was always getting caught in awful situations. And that was only going to become even more of a problem with Alex. How would this new problem affect Kurt?

Blaine could feel himself slipping back into that place he'd worked hard these past couple of months not to go back to. He was really hoping that he could escape it; that he could move to New York and leave that part of himself behind. But now he realized that he was just trying to run away from himself, and that was impossible. As hard as he tried, he couldn't change who he was at the core of him; he'd always be that messed up kid he was in Ohio.

Kurt leaned over to Blaine and gave him a kiss on the cheek before picking up his backpack and saying, "I should probably be heading back to my own room. I have three papers to write this weekend so I'd better get started."

"I'm sorry for keeping you here all the time. I shouldn't have let you stay over so much to take care of me," Blaine said, hating that his sudden decline in health had caused Kurt to decline in his studies.

"Hey, no, don't apologize," Kurt frowned, "I wanted to be here. I wanted to look after you. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? You got sick. That's all. I'm here to take care of you. That's part of my boyfriend role."

"Okay."

Something about his tone or his shortness must have tipped Kurt off, because suddenly he was dropping his backpack again and taking both of Blaine's hands in his, studying his face. Blaine watched his eyes flash over to Carter, who was now straightening out his bed pretending not to listen, and back over to Blaine.

"Blaine. Are you okay? Do you need me to stay?"

"I'm fine."

Kurt's frown deepened and he grasped Blaine's hands more firmly in his. "Blaine. Really. I can do my papers here. Do you need me to stay?"

Blaine sighed. This was getting old. All he wanted was to be left alone. "Kurt. Really. Go to your room. I'm fine. You're not even leaving the building. If I need you, I promise to call."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he affirmed, unlinking one of his hands to offer Kurt his pinky.

With a small smile, Kurt let go of Blaine's other hand and linked pinkies with him for a moment to cement their pinky promise and dropped the hand. "Alright. Then I'm going to go start on these papers. I'll see you soon." He leaned in to give Blaine a short and sweet goodbye kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Blaine replied.

Finally, Kurt left.

The second the door closed behind him, Carter piped up from his bed with a, "What the hell was that about?"

"Nothing," Blaine responded, too tired to give him a real explanation. "Why'd you leave the Delta Phi house?"

"They were getting ready to throw a party. It's Friday night. I didn't want to stay for that."

Suddenly it seemed like Blaine's night was about to get so much better. There was a frat party. A frat party means alcohol. Alcohol means forgetting. Alcohol means happiness. Alcohol means an escape; and a real one this time.

"Do you, uh…" he had to tread the waters carefully for this to work out just right, "do you think Jonathan would be opposed to me stopping by?"

Carter eyed him. "Why?"

Blaine attempted a nonchalant shrug. "Just wondering. It's a Friday night and I'm finally feeling better. I just thought I'd go out for a while."

"I thought you weren't allowed to drink."

"I don't have to drink. I could just go to hang out, meet some new people."

"You're going to a frat party, B. Of course you have to drink. And since when do you want to meet and hang out with frat guys?"

"Since you and Jonathan have broken the stereotype. There may be hope for frat guys yet."

"I'm not in Delta Phi."

"You might as well be. You're rushing in the spring aren't you?"

"Yeah," Carter said slowly, "I've been thinking about it."

"Exactly."

Without really even finishing the conversation, Blaine slipped on his shoes and jacket and grabbed his keys off of his desk.

"Wait, Blaine, are you really going out? You're still sick."

"I'm fine. I'll be back in a couple hours."

He left without another word.

…

The party was just getting under way when he arrived. He spotted a guy outside the door as he crossed the street and cursed himself for not asking Carter what the password would be that night—he had no doubt his roommate would know. Fortunately for him, as he got closer, he could tell that it was Jonathan standing outside as the security for the night.

He walked up the steps and offered a wave to Jonathan. "Hey, man."

"Blaine. What's up?" Jonathan greeted, shaking his hand.

"Oh, you know. Just walking around. Happened to come across Delta Phi headquarters. I didn't know there was a party tonight."

Jonathan squinted his eyes. "It's a Friday night."

"Is it? My days are all mixed up from missing school for my strep throat."

"Yeah, speaking of which, are you sure you should be out right now?"

"I'm fine," Blaine shrugged. "I've been feeling better. You saw me earlier. Hey, do you think you can get me in?" He gestured to the door.

Jonathan glanced behind him to the door then back to Blaine. "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure that's a good idea? Considering what happened last time."

"You said yourself the whole fraternity isn't like that. Give me a chance to see that for myself. I could use friends outside of Kurt, Carter, and you."

There was a moment where Blaine thought this was it, he'd have to just go back to his dorm and deal with everything and he couldn't get that escape he'd been looking for. But then Jonathan sighed and nodded. "Go ahead in. I'll be keeping an eye on you, though."

"I thought you were guard for the night."

"First shift. I'll be done out here in an hour."

"Okay. Thanks, man."

"Yeah."

Blaine headed inside, taking in all the frat guys and the handful of girls that had already arrived. It wasn't too crowded yet, so he couldn't just hide in the chaos, but he could hide in the alcohol. He made a bee-line for the kitchen and poured himself a cup of whatever green drink had been mixed in the water cooler. Taking a sip told him it was a margarita, which Blaine was more than okay with; tequila was kind of his weakness.

He made his way around the party, meeting random guys who were surprisingly cool with him. They teased him about his height and his hair, but only in the way guys do, not in a mean way. After he downed two cups of that margarita stuff, one of the guys offered him a beer, which he gladly accepted.

And so on the night went. He spent that hour before Jonathan could come inside mingling with some soccer players, drinking two more beers after the first one and laughing with the guys. It felt good to be hanging out with a group of such stereotypical straight guys—all sports and girls—and just feel like one of the boys. He'd even tentatively mentioned Kurt, referring to him as his boyfriend; the group only paused for a second before diving right back into the conversation, asking about his relationship with Kurt like he was dating a girl. How long had they been together, what'd he look like, what was his major. Unlike if he was dating a girl, they avoided asking after his and Kurt's sex life. But Blaine couldn't blame them for that. There were a lot of straight people that were supportive and just didn't want to hear the nitty-gritty details. Blaine was okay with that.

By the time Jonathan finally found him, Blaine had had two cups of margarita and three beers. He was feeling pretty good. The events of the afternoon were slowly slipping away from him and he was able to escape to a realm where nothing hurt, mainly just because he was too numb to feel anything at all.

"Hey, Blaine, I see you've made some new friends," Jonathan said, clapping a hand to his back.

Blaine nodded. "Yep. You were right, these guys are swell," he slurred. He swirled his beer bottle in the air and realized with disdain that it was empty. "Oh. I'm empty. I'm gonna go get another. Anyone want anything?"

The group shook their heads so Blaine walked away, in search of the kitchen. Where was that again? Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen. Hey, that was a funny word. Kitchen. Blaine wondered who came up with that word. It wasn't even spelled right. Why was there a "t" in there? Crap, he just ran into a doorway. The alcohol was impairing his depth perception. Impairing. Kurt would be proud that he'd used such a big word when his brain was so mushy. Was his brain mushy? What did brains feel like?

Kurt. Poor Kurt. Blaine always had to drag him down. If Kurt had never met Blaine, he would have gone to New York with that new confident, happy-go-lucky persona. He would have had a carefree summer full of his New Directions friends instead of wasting all of his time with Blaine. He would have made lots of great friends in the music department instead of having to spend every day taking care of Blaine. It was awful knowing that he'd ruined his boyfriend's life.

Then again, that was kind of his thing, wasn't it? He was always doing that. He'd ruined his parents' lives by being gay; he ruined Laurel's life by having nowhere else to go; he ruined Kurt's like by dragging all of his family shit.

The only person he had the power to help was Alex. If he was able to help Alex get better, maybe he could redeem himself.

He poured himself a Jack and Coke, heavy on the Jack and light on the Coke, and took a nice, long drink. God, his head was pounding. There were many, many more people now that he had to wade through to get back to his group. He kept taking sips from his cup, shuffling around aimlessly to find…who was he looking for again? That's right. Jonathan. Okay. Focus.

He was thinking about something, though. What was it? It was important. It made his heart hurt and his head spin and his stomache flip upside down. If only he could remember…

Oh. That's right. Alex. No wonder his brain wasn't remembering, it was because he didn't _want _to remember. Who would want to think about that? A little 3 year old boy with leukemia. It broke your heart. But Blaine might have the power to save him. If he could save Alex, maybe that would help him save himself from the giant fuck-up he'd become.

"Blaine!" He whirled around to find Jonathan standing right behind him.

"Oh, hey, Jonathan! I was just looking for you."

Jonathan's eyebrows knitted together as he looked Blaine up and down. "Blaine, how much have you had to drink?"

"Not much."

"How much is not much?"

"A few drinks. I feel fine, Jonny, really."

"Yeah, you definitely look fine," Jonathan said, sarcasm evident in his voice.

And really, who was Jonathan to tell him what to do? If Blaine wanted to drink, he could drink. If he wanted to party, he could party. If he wanted to make new friends, he could make new friends. Fuck, if he wanted to fucking strip naked and run down the streets of New York he could do it because no one could tell him what to do and he was so tired of everyone trying.

"You know what? I am fine. You don't get to tell me what to do, okay? I can take care of myself."

That was a lie. He couldn't take care of anyone. Especially himself.

"Obviously not. Look, I'm going to take you home."

"I don't have a home," Blaine spat, slapping Jonathan's hands away when he made to grab for him. "And I'm not going back to my dorm. I'm not done having fun yet."

"Did you ever even start? You look fucking miserable. Jesus. Come on." Jonathan reached out for him again, and again Blaine backed away.

"Just leave me alone."

"Not a chance. Carter would kill me. Hell, Kurt barely knows me but I know he'd kill me in a second if I just left you here."

Damn Jonathan. Damn Carter. Damn K—…well, maybe not damn Kurt.

"Fine," Blaine bit out. He downed the entire rest of his cup and threw it at Jonathan's chest. "You win. I'll leave."

He headed for the door, running into people on the way and not caring in the least. The cool October air hit him on the way out and he realized he forgot his jacket inside. Oh well.

Jonathan jogged up behind him and grabbed his arm. "I'm not letting you walk home alone wasted, Blaine. You'd get mugged in five seconds."

"Whatever," Blaine grumbled.

Blaine would never admit it, but if Jonathan hadn't helped him back to the dorms, he probably wouldn't have made it there. He almost got off at the wrong stop on the subway twice, and there was a sketchy looking guy in the corner that probably would have gone for his wallet if Jonathan hadn't been standing guard—(Jonathan was a pretty intimidating guy).

After what felt like…well…a period of time, Jonathan was leading him down the hall of his dorm and to his door. The door was locked, and Blaine couldn't remember which pocket he'd put his keys in, so Jonathan just knocked.

"Carter! Open up! I have something out here that belongs to you!"

Carter threw open the door and sighed. "Blaine. Get your stupid ass in here."

"I'm not stupid," Blaine spat. "I'm smart enough to convince you, Kurt, and Jonathan that I was fine enough to go to a party. Now who's stupid?"

He pushed Carter out of the way and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Fuck beds.

Jonathan and Carter stood in the doorway talking.

"I tried to keep an eye on him, but I was on door duty for the first hour. He was already drunk by the time I got inside."

"I don't know what's gotten into him. He's been acting weird ever since I got back from hanging out with you at the house."

"Yeah, I think something happened. Look, I have to get back. Do you think you got it from here?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Jonny. Thanks for looking out for him and bringing him back."

"No problem. He's a pretty cool guy when he's not trashed. I'll see you Tuesday."

"Sure."

The door closed and Blaine felt someone walk up to him from behind. There was a shadow looming over him and it made him feel unsafe.

"Stop standing there like a fucking serial killer," he commanded, shifting around to look up at his roommate.

Carter shook his head. "You're a real dick when you're drunk, you know that?"

"Can't say I didn't warn you. I told you that at the last frat party we went to, roomie."

"Get off the floor. You look like an idiot."

"You know what, Carter? _You're _the idiot. And I don't have to get off the floor if I don't want to. You can't make me do anything. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my fucking dad." He leaned over and punched the dresser. "Fuck, my dad's not even my fucking dad."

His hand was throbbing from punching the hard wood, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He stood up and started pacing around the room, kicking and punching at random things. Carter didn't say anything, which Blaine was grateful for. At least his roommate could fucking take a hint and leave him alone.

"Blaine," Carter called.

Or not.

"Just go to sleep, Carter."

"Yeah, I can really go to sleep right now with you destroying our room."

"Try hard."

"Don't make me get Kurt."

Blaine stopped in his tracks. He turned around and advanced toward Carter, standing with their faces only inches away. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

Shit. If he called Kurt, Kurt would flip. He'd come down here and make Blaine feel even more like shit than he already did. On top of that, he'd once again get in the way of Kurt's studies. The reason Kurt wanted to get a head-start on his papers was because he'd be with Blaine tomorrow at the hospital for Alex.

He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let Kurt get involved in this.

"Fine. You win. Can I at least go to the bathroom, prison warden? That alcohol is shooting straight through me."

"If you're not back in 5 minutes I'm going to assume you've gone back to the party and I'll call Kurt."

"Whatever."

Blaine slammed the door and headed for the community bathroom down the hall. He peed out an entire gallon of alcohol and went back to his room. Before he even opened the door fully he recognized Kurt's voice.

"Fucking traitor," he accused the second he walked through the door.

Carter shrugged. "I didn't have a choice, Blaine."

"Don't blame Carter. He was right to call me to come down from my room. This is on you," Kurt said calmly.

He hated how calm Kurt always was when he was drunk. He was so patronizing in the way he spoke to Blaine in these situations. Like he was a toddler that needed to be handled delicately.

"Way to be a tattle-tale, Carter. I'll be sure to remember that next time you do something Amanda wouldn't necessarily approve of. Don't forget I have Scotty's number."

"Yeah, I'm real intimidated."

The sensation of nails digging into his skin forced Blaine to look down and realize he'd been clenching his fists. Fucking Carter. Now that Kurt knew he'd never hear the end of it.

Kurt crossed the room and stood directly in front of Blaine, leaving about a foot of distance between them. They'd been in this situation enough for Kurt to know to give Blaine his physical space.

And wasn't that just sad? Kurt had seen his boyfriend turn into a violent drunk enough to know that he had to back off to keep from getting hit. Who wanted a boyfriend that they had to be on their guard for to make sure they wouldn't get struck?

"Just go back to your own room, Kurt," Blaine said, stepping away and looking down, running a hand through his hair.

He hated himself. He hated the way he was treating Kurt. Yet he couldn't stop it. Why couldn't he stop it? Why did he have such little control over himself? Probably because alcohol loosens your self-control.

"I'm not going anywhere. You obviously need me right now."

"He mentioned his dad," Carter spoke up.

Kurt stopped cold. "Excuse me?"

Carter shrank into himself, suddenly unsure. "He mentioned his dad? I don't know. It was just a comment. Right after he punched the furniture. I'm guessing something happened with his dad."

"Yes, I know what happened, I was here for it."

"Wait, his dad was here?"

"Both of his parents."

"I don't have parents," Blaine stated plainly.

There was no more venom or malice in his voice. It was just a fact. He hated that that was a fact.

Carter scoffed in disgust. "You're not Harry-fucking-Potter, Blaine, of course you have parents."

"How would you even know, Carter? You don't know anything about me."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" Carter shouted. The words reverberated in the now quiet room. Blaine stood still and stared at his roommate, who was angrier than he'd ever seen him. Kurt stayed where he was, seemingly interested in hearing what Carter had to say. "You're the one that keeps your entire fucking family life a secret. I've tried to ask and you shut down every time. What is so bad that you go out and get drunk? How is your life just so awful that you get wasted and treat your friends like crap?

"At least you're here. At least you're here, man, while my girlfriend had to drop out and move across the country to take care of her family who's slowly dying one by one. First her mom and now her dad. You wanna know someone who really doesn't have parents? Amanda. Scotty. All of those kids. They already lost one parent and now they're about to lose another. Those innocent kids and my girlfriend, that beautiful girl who's never done anything bad in her life, are about to all become orphans. They're going to lose every semblance of family they've ever had. Her dad is barely holding on now; it's only a matter of weeks, maybe even days at this point.

"What's so wrong with your own parents that you do this, huh? What? Just be fucking grateful they're here at all. They came to visit you. You had a fight, so what? At least you can call them and apologize and talk about it. Amanda hasn't heard her mother's voice in six years; she lives every day knowing that it might be the last time she'll hear her father's. While you get to Skype to see your parents, Amanda has to go visit a fucking cemetery to see a fucking block of rock that's supposed to symbolize her mother. When she needs the comfort of a parent, what is she gonna do, hug that fucking headstone? No. She has no one. She has _nothing. _And you wanna talk to _me _about not having parents?"

Carter took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know what, man? Fuck you. Just fuck you."

"Oh, fuck _you, _Carter! You don't know anything about my life!"

"Blaine, stop. You don't want to get into this right now—"

"Shut up, Kurt," Blaine snapped.

The room stopped.

Not once had Blaine _ever _told Kurt to shut up in a serious manner. It was as if Blaine had slapped him across the face.

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, voice uncharacteristically low. It was almost like a growl. Blaine had never heard his voice drop so low.

Blaine's jaw dropped open, but he couldn't find the words to form. How could he have done that? It wasn't even necessarily the words; it was how he'd said them. Like Kurt was just some stupid pest that he didn't even care about; like he was nothing. It was the same way his dad used to tell him to shut up when he was a kid and wanted his dad to tuck him into bed at night. His parents would be sitting in the living room talking and he'd walk in, asking for a bedtime story. His dad would snap, "Shut up, Blaine. Can't you see the adults are talking? Go to bed." Every time his father did that to him, he felt less and less important. Less loved.

Now he was doing it to Kurt.

God, Blaine was turning into his dad. The epiphany hit him like a fucking tsunami. He was turning into the very man he despised. The same man who had it in him to kick his son until he was a sobbing, crumpled heap on the ground. The same man who had turned his own kid over to the streets rather than have him be gay. The same man who not once showed any sort of remorse for doing so. And Blaine was becoming that man.

Yeah, Blaine was a different person when he drank. He was his father.

"Fuck," he muttered; it wasn't until he spoke that one word and heard his voice break that he realized he'd started crying.

Kurt was over to him in a matter of seconds, knowing that the switch from angry to depressed had been made and holding him was now okay. They fell to the ground and Kurt cradled him in his arms, rocking him back and forth. "Shh. It's going to be okay. It is. Alex is going to be fine. You're going to be fine. We're all going to be fine."

"Let him fucking cry," Carter spat, kicking his chair and holding onto the edge of the desk, back turned to them. "He deserves it."

"You don't know what he deserves, Carter," Kurt retorted. "You don't know his situation at all."

Blaine sobbed into Kurt's chest, holding onto Kurt's shirt like it was the only thing keeping him from disappearing completely. Maybe it was.

"Then explain it to me!" Carter yelled; he sounded on the verge of hysterics himself. "Fucking explain to me why he gets to be so fucking dramatic when my girlfriend is back home working to keep her entire fucking family together!"

"Blaine is not Amanda! Stop comparing them! Just because Amanda's family is in ruins right now doesn't mean Blaine's isn't too. Did you even stop to wonder why he never talks about his parents or mentions them? Why Laurel is the only person he stays in contact with? Why she's the one he lives with? I know it's hard, but put Amanda to the side for a moment and look at your roommate who's coming close to being your best friend. He's in pieces right now. You really think he'd be this bad if it wasn't something worth getting upset over?"

Carter's back rose and fell as he took deep breaths, trying to center himself. "Fine," he finally said, turning slowly. "Tell me. What is his situation?"

The arms wrapped around Blaine squeezed tighter, Kurt holding him more closely because he knew that hearing his story told aloud when he was in this frame of mind would only be even harder for him. But it had to happen. Carter couldn't be kept in the dark forever.

"He…He hadn't seen his parents in four years until recently. The night he came out to them, his father broke eight of his ribs and threw him out of the house. Blaine called Laurel to pick him up and he's been living with her ever since. His parents signed over all parental rights to Laurel. They wiped their hands clean with him and want nothing to do with him. So, legally, Blaine doesn't have parents. He has a legal guardian, his cousin Laurel. They'd never contacted him, never tried to write or visit or call or anything.

"Then he ran into them at the grocery store a few days before we left Ohio to come here…and their son. They had another son, Alex, and they didn't even tell Blaine. So Blaine has a 3 year old brother he didn't even know existed until a couple of months ago. He'd thought that was it, he'd seen his parents one last time before coming to New York and he was done. Until they visited today.

"Alex, Blaine's little brother, has leukemia. They only came to ask Blaine to donate blood or bone marrow or something to help save Alex. They wanted to pay him to help, like he'd need some kind of incentive to save his own brother's life. That's the kind of people they are. That's the kind of person they think Blaine is. So, yes, maybe Amanda's lost both parents to death. But Blaine lost both of his parents, too, regardless of whether they're still alive or not. And he might lose the little brother he never even knew he had."

Blaine shuddered in Kurt's grasp, so Kurt held on tighter still. He hated his situation, but he hated even more having it told like some kind of fucking bedtime story. It was a nightmare to live and even worse to listen to it being told.

"Shit. Fuck, I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't know."

"Don't apologize to me, Carter. Apologize to Blaine."

He heard the carpet squish under feet until Carter knelt down next to him. "I'm sorry, B. I shouldn't have yelled at you without even knowing the story."

Blaine couldn't even talk. It was all too much. He just nodded weakly, a sign that he was listening. He felt like his entire body was slowly falling apart from the inside out; his intestines unknotting and his organs detaching from each other.

"And I'm sorry about your brother. I won't tell you that he's going to be okay because I don't make empty promises and that's not something I can guarantee. But I'll help in any way that I can. Okay?"

He nodded again. Carter stood up and went somewhere—maybe he left and went to the bathroom or the lobby or on a walk, or maybe he just went and got on his bed, Blaine couldn't be sure—but Blaine never left the floor. He stayed there, safe and secure in Kurt's arms as Kurt continued to rock him back and forth in a steady rhythm. If he tried hard enough, he could match up the rhythm of his rocking with the rhythm of Kurt's heartbeat _thump-thump_ing in his chest.

Another indistinguishable period of time passed before Kurt started humming in his ear. After a few moments, Kurt began to sing softly.

_Maybe no one told you_

_There is strength in your tears_

_And so you fight to keep from pouring out_

_But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul_

_Do you think there's enough to that you might drown?_

It wasn't a song he recognized, but the lyrics made him cry even harder.

_If no one will listen_

_If you decide to speak_

_If no one is left_

_Standing after the bombs explode_

_If no one wants to look at you_

_For what you really are_

_I will be here still_

Kurt continued singing, the song hitting too close to home for Blaine. It occurred to him for the first time that maybe Kurt _enjoyed _putting him back together. Maybe it made Kurt happy to be there for Blaine, because he loved him.

_If you find your fists are raw and red from beating yourself down_

_If your legs have given out under the weight_

_If you find that you've been settling for a world of gray_

_So you wouldn't have to face down your own hate_

It was so, so true. Blaine wondered if maybe Kurt had written the song himself, just for Blaine. It was possible, Kurt was a gifted musician, but for some reason, Blaine doubted that was the case.

After some time, his crying subsided and his breathing returned to normal. He had the hiccups, but that was normal after he cried a lot.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine whispered into his shirt. "I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you."

"Hush, sweetheart. You have nothing to be sorry for. Except maybe telling me to shut up. That stung a little."

Blaine nodded against Kurt's chest. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't."

"I never mean it. I never mean anything I do when I'm like this. I'm sorry you have to put up with it."

"I don't have to, Blaine. I could leave right now. I'm not obligated to stay here." Kurt pulled back a little and placed a hand under Blaine's chin, tilting his head up. "Look at me. I'm not here because I feel like I have to be, okay? This isn't mandatory for me. I choose to be here."

"Why?" he hated the way his voice sounded like that of a small child.

"Because I love you. And no matter what happens, I will be here still. Okay? I meant every word of that song. I will be here still. I will."

All Blaine could manage was a small nod. A moment later, he added, "I love you," because it was all he could offer. Kurt was able to give him the world, but all he had to offer was his love for him.

Because in spite of all of the shit that he was constantly going through in his life, and all the shit he constantly drug Kurt through, he really did love Kurt. He loved him like he'd never loved anyone in his life. He didn't know how else to explain it. It was just this overwhelming feeling of, I need this person to survive. I need this person in my life. Always.

"I know. I love you, Blaine. I do. I love you."

He wondered how many more times Kurt would have to tell him that before it stuck.

**Oh dear. Goodness gracious. So much angst. So much drama. What to do? I don't know. I feel like when Blaine's life is exploding, my life is exploding. I just want to give him a big hug. Don't worry, dear readers, we'll get through this together. **

**Sidenote: the song used in this chapter is If No One Will Listen by Kelly Clarkson. :)**


	25. Big Brother

**Okay, apparently, writer's block is not the only reason I'm so bad at updating frequently. I have just gotten SO busy. Like, right now, I should be working to memorize monologues. Instead, I'm writing this for you guys. So, while I'm terribly sorry for this taking so long, you're welcome for wasting valuable time that I need for other things to write this fanfic. :)**

_October 6, 2012_

Hospitals had never been Blaine's favourite place in the world. Especially after what happened to him with his parents and he'd had to go there, he just associated hospitals with getting kicked out.

Now, his problem with them was that their walls were all white, the floors were white tile, and it was like when you're watching a really dark movie and all of a sudden the scene changes to being bright. He had to wear sunglasses just to have his headache be manageable to set foot in the place.

Because hospitals were not smart places to go when you were hungover.

"Are you sure you're okay enough to be here today?" Kurt asked quietly beside him as they navigated their way through the halls to find Blaine's parents.

Technically, Blaine supposed, they weren't at a hospital. They were at a cancer center. But it still looked like an awful lot like a hospital to him.

"I'm fine," he murmured back. "I just want to find Alex and do whatever the doctors need me to do."

They turned a few more corners before heading down a hall that was unremarkable, save for the voices floating down from one of the rooms. Blaine could hear his parents yelling from 10 rooms away.

"I requested a private suite! This is not a private suite! See the other little kid there? That's not mine!"

"Ma'am, please refrain from referring to another patient as 'that.'"

"Charlotte, calm down. They'll never move him if they can't even understand what you're saying while you shriek at them at a decibel only dogs can hear. Look, nurse, just move us to a private room and she'll shut up."

Ouch. Hearing his dad say that in reference to his mother just reminded him of how much he and his father were alike. It was really starting to scare him.

"I'm sorry, sir, but all of our private rooms are taken."

"Look, if this is about money, I assure you that we have more than enough."

"It's not about money, we just simply don't have enough room. I'm sorry. There are other patients here besides your son who are already occupying all of our private rooms."

Before either of his parents could further embarrass their family, Blaine finally reached the room and walked in with Kurt in tow, effectively silencing both of the Andersons.

"Blaine Anderson," Blaine said, offering a hand to the male nurse who looked like he wanted to shoot himself in the face just to escape Richard and Charlotte. "I'm Alex's brother. I'm sorry about them. I understand if you're already booked to capacity and we appreciate you finding room for us at all. If you could just let the doctor know I'm here, please, that would be great."

The nurse nodded emphatically and leaned in to Blaine, muttering, "Anything to get away from your parents. No offense."

"I understand completely."

As the nurse walked out, Blaine ignored the steely looks he was getting from the adults in the room and headed straight for Alex, who had somehow managed to sleep through all of that.

God, he looked awful. It was evident in his entire body that he was sick. There was a sickly pale palor to his skin tone, his regular breathing had turned into laborious wheezing, he looked much thinner. The black curls on his head, so similar to Blaine's own, stood out in stark contrast to his body, not just because of the pale complexion but also because they were so big and he was so small. It was hard just to look at him, but Blaine sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and took one of Alex's little hands in his, brushing back the curls from his eyes.

Almost as if Alex was set to wake at his brother's touch, the boy stirred and peered at Blaine curiously.

"Are you the guy from when we went food shoppin'?"

Blaine's heart melted knowing Alex at least recognized him, regardless of whether he knew their relationship or not. "Yeah, little man. That's me. I'm Blaine. And this is my boyfriend, Kurt," he introduced, pulling Kurt to his side and wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's waist.

If his parents were angry at Blaine telling Alex that Kurt was his boyfriend, they didn't say anything; since Blaine refused to look at them, he couldn't even be deterred by their facial expressions.

"I'm sick," Alex stated, sniffling then wiping his nose on his hand and wiping his hand on the bed.

"Gross," Kurt muttered.

Blaine chuckled and squeezed Kurt's waist a little bit, smiling sadly down at Alex. "I know. I'm here to help you get better again." Finally, reluctantly, Blaine turned to face his parents. "Have you told him who I am?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear them say it.

"No," his mother answered.

"Well I'm going to," Blaine said; he wasn't asking for permission, because he didn't need permission to talk to his own brother. Still, when neither parent said anything, Blaine took that as his cue to continue with Alex. So he turned back to the dying little boy in the big hospital bed with a soft smile. "Alex, do you go to school?"

Alex nodded, then frowned and shook his head, then shrugged, looking confused. "Kind of. I go to preschool. Mommy says I have to wait 'til I'm older for big kid school."

"Do you have a bunch of friends at your preschool?"

This time, he nodded enthusiastically. "Uh-huh. We play with the toys all day together."

"Do you know what brothers and sisters are?"

"Yeah. My best friend, Mallory, has a big brother. He goes to big kid school."

Blaine hesitated for a moment. He thought he knew where he was going with this, but now he wasn't sure. How was he supposed to say it? "Oh, hey, you do too. It's me. I go to super big kid school." Somehow, that didn't feel quite right.

Before he could come up with a good next question or way to tell him, Alex continued, "But I don't have none."

"Any," Kurt corrected automatically. When Blaine looked at him, he knew that Kurt had completely forgotten he was talking to a 3 year old and grammar didn't matter. "Sorry," he immediately added.

But really, Blaine was just glad to have a sense of normalcy. Kurt correcting people was so average that it made the whole thing feel less weird.

"Alex," Blaine started, holding his hand still and trying to smile in what he hoped came across in a kind way. "I'm going to tell you something, bud, and I know it's going to sound weird, but you're just going to have to believe me, okay?"

"Okay."

"You do have a brother. You have a big brother that you just didn't know you had for a while."

Alex's whole face lit up, and Blaine was hopeful that maybe this brother thing wouldn't be so bad after all.

"I do?"

"You do."

"Where is he?"

"He's right here. It's me."

His eyes grew wide and he suddenly sat up straight, looking at Blaine as if by those simple words he'd turned into a magical being that Alex had never seen before in his life. "Really?" he breathed.

Blaine laughed and nodded his head. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm your big brother."

"How come I never seen you before?"

"I was away at super big kid school," he answered without thinking, mentally slapping himself for how stupid that sounded.

But Alex was just eating it all up, looking at him in wonder. "What's that?"

"It's for super big kids like me. I'm going to be 19 years old soon."

"Whoa. That's old."

"I know."

Before he knew what was happening, Alex was throwing himself in Blaine's arms, hugging him with more strength than it looked like he even had.

"Okay, big guy," Blaine said, pulling Alex away and settling him down in the sheets again, "Don't get too worked up, okay? You gotta save all your energy for when the doctors do their stuff to make you better again."

"And you're gonna help?"

"I sure am."

At that moment, the doctor walked in, smiling politely at Mr. and Mrs. Anderson before turning his attention to Kurt and Blaine at the bed with Alex.

"You must be Blaine. My name is Dr. Pierson." Dr. Pierson was a tall, blonde fellow who looked to be in his late thirties or so. He crossed the room and shook Blaine's free hand, the one not attached to the arm wrapped around Kurt's waist, and then surprised Blaine by shaking Kurt's hand. "And you're Kurt, the boyfriend."

Blaine started and looked at his parents in shock. "You told the doctor about Kurt?"

"We had to. For medical reasons," Richard explained.

His brow furrowed in confusion. What did they need to know about Kurt for Blaine's medical reasons? That didn't even make any sense. Kurt and Blaine weren't related at all. If they were, they wouldn't be together, because that would be incest and incest is disgusting and never acceptable, not even in Kentucky.

By the look on Kurt's face, he got it before Blaine did. And if Kurt got it, then he could explain it to him.

"What?" Blaine asked.

Kurt opened his mouth, then closed it, looking around the room and shifting uncomfortably. Blaine stood up and lowered his arm from around Kurt's waist. Instead, he stood in front of his boyfriend and looked directly into his face, holding both hands in his. "What?" he repeated.

"I don't think this is an appropriate discussion to be had in front of Alex," Kurt hedged, glancing at the boy in the bed.

"Why not? Is it—Oh." Then Blaine got it. "_Oh. _But you and I haven't—"

"Let's move this into the hall, shall we?" Dr. Pierson suggested.

Nodding, Blaine and Kurt followed Dr. Pierson into the hall, hand in hand. Blaine took a moment to glare at his parents on the way out. Not for any reason in particular, it was a reasonable thing to do regardless of whether he was dating a boy or girl, he just wanted to glare at his parents to make up for lost time. There was an almost 4 year gap where he was unable to do so and he had _lots _of glaring to make up for.

They cracked the door behind them and huddled just outside the door.

"I didn't think you wanted to discuss your sex life in front of your parents," Dr. Pierson said, giving them a reassuring smile.

Blaine was quick to correct him. "But we haven't…um…done that."

"And by 'done that' you mean…?" the doctor trailed off, flipping open the clipboard in his hand and holding his pen at the ready, glancing up at Blaine through his glasses.

"Anal sex," Blaine muttered, coughing to hide his embarrassment. He chanced a glance at Kurt to see that Kurt was just as red as he was. Okay. Good. He wasn't alone.

"Okay," Dr. Pierson wrote something down, "That's good to know. Have you been engaged in any sexual act where bodily fluids had the chance to be exchanged?"

He quickly glanced over to Kurt for guidance. Did handjobs and blowjobs fall under that category? Sure, he swallowed, but he doubted that meant anything. Oh, but there was that one time where he and Kurt had given each other handjobs at the same time and everything just kind of…mixed together between them. Even though his first instinct was to say no to that question, after thinking about it, Blaine answered, "Yes. I think so."

"Alright. Have either of you had any other sexual partners?"

"No," Kurt answered at the same time as Blaine said, "Yes." Kurt looked confused and slightly hurt for a moment before recognition dawned on his face. "Oh. Trevor," he answered himself aloud.

"And with this Trevor, Blaine, did you have anal sex?"

"No," he swiftly replied. "Handjobs was the maximum we got to. And that was only a couple of times. I doubt I have any risk for STDs from him. And I definitely don't have any risk from Kurt."

"Okay, well let's go ahead and get you tested just to be sure. We have to run blood tests on you regardless, just to check that you are indeed a match for Alex. We'll also have to take a sample of your bone marrow, which can be a painful procedure so you may want Kurt present. So let's go ahead and get started on all that so we can get your little brother treated and hopefully in remission as soon as possible. Sound like a plan?"

Blaine shared a look with Kurt before turning back to the doctor and nodding. "Whatever you need me to do, Dr. Pierson."

"Good. Follow me right this way and we'll get those tests set up."

He held Kurt's hand tight and followed the doctor down a hall and into a room and sat in the chair he was directed to. He pulled Kurt into his lap despite Kurt's protests when the doctor left the room and said a nurse would be in shortly to take his blood.

With Kurt in his lap, he smiled and held on tight.

"Blaine Anderson, I cannot believe you are forcing me to sit on your lap."

"Why not? You love sitting on my lap when we're alone."

"That's for different purposes entirely."

Blaine smirked. "I know."

Kurt shifted a little and squirmed on Blaine's lap. Blaine sighed. "Just get comfortable already. These things take forever."

"I'm not shifting because I'm uncomfortable physically."

"So you're uncomfortable…emotionally?"

"Am I still a virgin, Blaine?"

Blaine choked on his own spit at Kurt's question. "I'm sorry?"

"What we've done, does that count as losing our virginities?"

"I, uh…I don't know. I honestly hadn't thought about it."

"It's so clear cut for heterosexual couples," Kurt huffed. "But for gay couples, it's so murky. Does what we do count as sex? It's called oral sex, but does it count as losing virginity? If not, then what would be the defining sexual act? Penetrative sex, because that's the line for straight couples? But then what counts for lesbians? Would they have to use a strap-on on each other to lose their virginities? That seems a little absurd."

"Kurt."

"Yes?"

"Take a breath."

He began rubbing the soothing circles on Kurt's back that Kurt always did for him, pulling him closer and trying to get him to calm down. It really wasn't that big of a deal.

"Okay," Kurt declared after a few moments of deep breathing. "I'm okay. I just…It's all so confusing."

"I know. But one of the great things about being in a same-sex relationship is that we set our own boundaries. There are no specific traditions we have to adhere to, like the girl taking the guy's last name or the guy proposing to the girl, because there is no girl in our relationship. We make our own rules. So in terms of sex, I think it's really up to us. If you think what we've done counts as sex, counts as us losing our virginities, then it does. If not, if the line for you would be anal sex, then that's what it is."

Kurt nodded, his face relaxing like what Blaine was telling him made sense. "Right. Yeah, that's logical. That's…Okay, yes. So what do you think? Are we still virgins?"

"I think…I think I'm going to leave that up to you."

"Blaine!"

"I think it means more to you than it does to me, Kurt. To me, the whole concept of all those big Firsts—first kiss, first time having sex—it's all irrelevant. Who cares about my first kiss? I care about my first kiss with the person I love and that I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. For me, that's you. And I remember all of my experiences with you, firsts or not. So regardless of what counts as sex and what doesn't, I'll always remember everything I do with you. The first time isn't that important to me."

"Oh," Kurt said, nodding again. "Okay. But I still think it's something the both of us should discuss. Another perk of same-sex relationship is that there are no traditional gender roles. This is a partnership."

"That sounds fair," Blaine agreed.

Unfortunately, at that moment, the nurse walked in to take Blaine's blood, killing their conversation. Kurt stood next to his chair the entire time, a comforting hand on Blaine's shoulder. Then, when they went to have the bone marrow sample taken, Kurt held his hand the entire time.

Dr. Pierson was absolutely right, it hurt like a bitch. They had him roll onto his side and stuck a big needle into his hip, going down into his bone to get the sample. With getting blood drawn, the needle barely had to go in at all before it hit a vein and they could get what they needed. But bone marrow was in the bone, so they had to shove that stupid metal rod all the way through all of his skin, blood, fat, muscle, and into his bone. And it _hurt._

Having Kurt there helped, though. Yes, Blaine would admit it, he cried. But Kurt was right there holding both of his hands and kneeling down beside the little bench-like bed and caressing Blaine's face, whispering words of encouragement. Kurt was the only reason he was even able to get through it. Kurt was his strength, his courage, his rock.

Honestly, if Blaine ever lost Kurt, he didn't think he'd be able to survive.

**Okay, yes, I'm going to leave it there. For two reasons: one, I just wanted to make sure I could get this up and it's bedtime for me and tomorrow will be too busy for me to update; two, I wanted a reprieve from the long chapters, and I'm not going to be focusing too much on the actual medical stuff with Alex, but more with how it's affecting Blaine. So the next chapter will help to move the story along and be set further along, like a couple weeks after this one.**

**Anyway, even though it's one of the shortest chapters I've ever written for this story, I hope you enjoyed it! The next one will be longer and HOPEFULLY sooner, I promise. :)**

**Reviews are neat. :D**


	26. First Pancake

**Auditions are soon, so I've been preparing for those, but this chapter was just BEGGING me to write it. I kept getting snippets of it and scenes and dialogue and I just needed to write it and give it to you guys so I hope you all enjoy it!**

_October 21, 2012_

A couple weeks when your baby brother is in the hospital with leukemia can feel like an eternity. The days dragged on, and somehow there didn't seem to be enough hours in the day.

Blaine continued going to classes, catching up on all of the work he missed when he had strep throat. When he wasn't in class, he was in the Cancer Center with Alex—(in the new private suite Alex acquired when a 7 year old girl passed away)—doing homework or napping or just getting to know his little brother.

It turns out that maybe DNA isn't so trivial after all, because Blaine was coming to find that he and Alex were very much alike. Granted, Alex was only 3 years old, and there were only so many things a college student could have in common with a toddler, but anytime Blaine would watch some of his favorite childhood movies with Alex or tell his favorite stories or bring some of his favorite coloring books, Alex would light up like Blaine was giving him the world.

Kurt had a lot to do with that. Blaine was reluctant to leave Alex's side even to go to classes, so Kurt would run to a video rental store for a kid movie Blaine requested, or a library for a children's book, or even the grocery store for ice cream (which Kurt snuck in for them). Really, Kurt was the picture of a perfect boyfriend. Anytime he could spare, he'd be right there with Blaine in that room. And in those instances where Blaine just wanted alone time to spend with his brother and get to know him, Kurt would leave with a smile on his face and a promise to call him that night before bed.

The only problem Blaine was having was with his parents. Of course, they were Alex's parents too, so if Blaine thought _he _was concerned enough to spend all of his time with Alex, Richard and Charlotte Anderson never even seemed to leave to go to their condo to sleep. It would make Blaine happy to see his parents care so much for their son if that care could be extended to _both _of their sons; the Andersons still insisted on treating Blaine as nothing more than a donor. Given the fact that he was potentially saving Alex's life, he had hoped they might be a little more gracious.

Though, if Blaine was honest with himself, that wasn't the _only_ problem he was having.

But he didn't like to dwell too much on that. It was easier to focus on Alex. Aside from Kurt, Alex was the one good thing in his life that he could claim.

He'd been a match; he'd been able to donate his bone marrow and blood to help Alex. Surely, that had to be some kind of sign that Alex was going to be okay.

If he could just save his little brother's life, maybe he could redeem himself after all.

"Hey."

Blaine looked up to the voice and realized he'd been scrunched up in the chair, folded like a Japanese fan, lost in thought. He immediately stretched and rubbed his eyes as if he'd been sleeping and accepted the coffee being held out to him.

"Hey yourself," he replied, bringing his boyfriend's face down to kiss him.

Kurt gestured to the sleeping boy in the hospital bed. "How's he doing today?"

"Pretty good so far. But it's only noon and with his case and the treatment he's undergoing, it could change in a heartbeat."

"Have you seen Richard and Charlotte today?"

"They're at church praying for him, I think."

"Ah." Kurt settled down on Blaine's lap and wrapped an arm around his neck. "I didn't know your parents were religious."

"They're not; they'll just do anything if they think it has a chance of saving their son."

"Yeah, and where was that mentality when _you _were their son?" Kurt mumbled under his breath.

Blaine understood his resentment. Really, he did. He knew how mad he was at his own parents, how hard it was to watch them so distraught over this kid when they barely even acknowledged their first, but he could only imagine how that would feel if he was watching Kurt in the situation. To watch someone be so careless about someone he loved so much would hurt him just the same as it would hurt the person he loved.

"I try not to think about that. I'm here for Alex."

Soulmate kissed his temple. "I know you are. That just shows how much better you are than them. You're a good person."

He wanted to say no. He wanted to say how, yes, he wanted to save his brother, but a tiny part of him was doing this for his own selfish reasons; he just wanted to feel important again. He wanted to do one good thing in his life. Even if he screwed up with his parents, even if he screwed up with Trevor, with Michael, with everyone in his past, _this _at least he could do right.

But he could never admit that to Kurt. Not when Kurt had been so supportive through it all, holding his hand and getting him anything he requested and making sure he always had everything he needed. No, Kurt wouldn't understand.

Kurt was perfect.

Instead of saying any of that, he simply said, "Thank you."

Placated by Blaine's lack of argument, Kurt kissed his forehead and stood up. "I was going to go back to the dorm and work on my song. Do you need anything else?"

"Song? What song?"

Kurt hesitated, seemingly uncomfortable, before finally admitting, "My solo for the concert coming up; it's a mid-semester concert for music majors."

"I'm a music major. Why am I not a part of this?"

"Because I let all of the professors know that you had a family emergency and you had too much on your plate right now to try and add this to it."

Blaine stood up and crossed the room. "You had no right to do that. That's my education."

He couldn't help but feel a little angry. In the back of his mind, he knew Kurt was just trying to help, but with or without everything going on in his life he was still a music major at NYU, same as Kurt; he was still going to his classes and doing his work, making him every bit as much of a student as Kurt. So why was Kurt in a concert that was supposedly for all music majors, and Blaine wasn't?

"I thought I was helping," Kurt offered, making his way over to Blaine. He tried to wrap his hands around Blaine's arms, but Blaine took a step back; Kurt got the message and dropped his arms. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I just didn't want to add to everything you have going on right now."

"My brother's in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. It sounds like a lot, but really, all we do is sit around all day waiting for the little numbers on his chart to change to things that no one in my family understands but that the doctors say is a good sign. I have hours of time that I just sit around doing nothing but stare at him. I could have been practicing for this concert."

"I just figured you might want to spend as much time as you could with hi—"

"Because he's dying?" Blaine spat. He shook his head and walked around Kurt, heading around to the other side of Alex's bed, where his usual chair sat. He looked at the way his tiny brother was curled up in a ball in the bed, covered so much with sheets that all you saw was that messy head of black curls, so much like Blaine's own. Careful not to wake Alex, he reached out a hand and touched the hair, then drew his hand back. "He's not dying. He's going to get better."

Kurt sighed across the room but didn't try again to be close to Blaine; what he did was worse. He stared at Blaine with such pity and sadness in his eyes, like Alex was already dead, and said, "That's what I told myself every day when it was my mom, Blaine. And I know how this feels, but—"

"But nothing, Kurt. You were 8 years old. Of course you thought she was going to get better, you didn't understand what was going on. I'm an adult; I've researched this, I've spoken at length with Dr. Pierson, I know his odds. He's going to get better."

"And if he doesn't—"

"He will."

"Blaine, I just want you to be prepared. This will be harder if you're not realistic and things don't work out as positively as you plan—"

"Knock, knock!"

Both Kurt and Blaine's heads immediately swiveled to see Laurel smiling sadly in the doorframe.

"Well, if it isn't my two favorite people in the entire world," she said, walking in the room and heading straight over to Blaine, wrapping him in her arms.

God, it felt good to be in her arms again. Blaine hadn't realized how much he truly missed Laurel, but now, he remembered; feeling her embrace, inhaling her scent, listening to her familiar heartbeat, he felt like he was home again.

"I'm glad you're here," he said into her hair.

"Me too, Blainers." She detached herself and offered a small smile to Kurt, opening her arms and stepping over to him. "I want a hug from you too, Kurtie." He obliged with a soft laugh, then let go and looked over at Blaine. Laurel read his face, then snapped her head around and read Blaine's face, then frowned. "Oh. I walked in on something."

Blaine shrugged. "It was nothing."

He caught eyes with Kurt across the room, and could tell that Kurt wanted to continue the conversation but not with Laurel present. So instead, Kurt settled for a show smile and fake happiness. "Yeah, it wasn't any big deal. I was just about to head out, anyway."

Kurt started towards the door and was just about to leave when Blaine stepped over and put his arm out, blocking the exit. His boyfriend looked at him quizzically before he used that arm to bring him over to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You're right. I just can't afford to think like that; not right now, at least. Thank you for the coffee."

"You're welcome. I'm here for you, sweetheart, you just have to let me be."

"I know." He pulled back and gave Kurt a tiny smile. "Let me know when the concert is. I want to watch my Soulmate perform, okay?"

Kurt nodded and blushed at the nickname. Blaine could see the hearts in his eyes and knew he'd effectively ended their fight.

"I'll call you later," Kurt told him.

"I'm counting on it."

With one last kiss on the lips, Kurt was out the door.

Blaine turned to Laurel, who was studying Alex in the bed. "Small, isn't he?"

"Compared to other children, yes, but in this family, not unusually so. He has your hair."

"Had you not seen him yet?"

She shook her head. "My first time meeting him and it's in a hospital bed. My new baby cousin."

Alex rolled over in his sleep, causing some of the blankets to fall and reveal his face, and the thumb he had stuck in his mouth. He looked like the cutest little kid Blaine had ever seen.

Watching Alex with his thumb in his mouth reminded Blaine of when he was a small child; he used to do the same thing all the time. He'd walk around with his hand to his face and his other hand dragging his blankey behind him, the blankey his parents had brought him home from the hospital in. They'd let him keep it until kindergarten when they said he was too old to be carrying a blanket around like some kind of toddler. They also told him only babies sucked their thumbs and if he wanted to go to real school he needed to start acting like a real person.

He wondered if his parents even still had his blankey.

As if the very thought of them conjured them up, his parents appeared in the doorway behind them. They didn't say anything, and Blaine wouldn't have even known they were there if it wasn't for the tell-tale clicking of his mother's heels on the tile.

"Hello, Laurel," his father greeted.

She refused to turn around but returned, "Hello, Dick."

One of the many things Blaine loved about Laurel was how she used the shortened version of his father's name, Richard, only because she knew she could get away with it even though she meant it in an entirely different context.

"My brother didn't inform me you were coming."

"I'm a full-grown adult; I don't tend to tell my daddy every time I go somewhere."

"A trip out-of-state is a little different, don't you think?"

"I don't recall you caring when it was Blaine going out of state for his show choir's competitions in high school."

No one had a comeback for that one.

Blaine had been waiting for his mother to march over and rip the finger right out of Alex's mouth as he slept, but nothing. He waited, and waited, and still no one made a move.

"How come you're not making him take his thumb out of his mouth?" Blaine asked.

His mother stared at Alex in the bed. "He's a child, Blaine. That's what children do."

Why was it that his parents were so different with Alex? With Alex, it was like they were model parents; they got him the best care when he was sick, they made sure he got the best preschool education, they let him do all of the little kid things that Blaine was never allowed to do. Where did Blaine go so wrong as a child as to have them treat him the way they did, and Alex the total opposite?

Maybe he was just born a failure. The second he shot out of his mother's body the doctor said, "Oh, this one's no good. You might as well just start from scratch." Because that's all Blaine was; a mess-up.

There was a rule about that. Something with pancakes. Like, if you're cooking a batch of pancakes, the first one always sucks, but all the ones after that are perfect. Blaine was the first pancake.

"I have to go," he said suddenly, taking one last look at Alex before gathering up his homework he'd been working on and the untouched coffee Kurt had brought him. He hugged Laurel again and gave her a quick, "Call you later," before brushing past his parents without another word.

He was heading down the hall, almost to the elevators when—

"Blaine, wait," Laurel called out.

Pause. Turn. "What?"

"Hey," she panted, halting to a stop from running down the hall to him. "I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay with all of this."

"I'm doing great, Laur. Thanks for asking. I'm totally fine with the brother I never knew I had dying before I have a chance to get to know him. I'm peachy keen with the parents that abandoned me to suddenly reappear in my life and seemingly never leave. I'm so fantastic right now it's crazy."

She sighed. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?"

"Sarcasm. One of your many defense mechanisms."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he spat, scoffing.

"Yes, you do. Look, I know things aren't good right now, but you shouldn't push everyone away."

"I'm not pushing anyone away. I was just getting away from Richard and Charlotte. I mean, can you really blame me? I just wanted to go back to my dorm and do homework. That's all."

"And that fight with Kurt?" she challenged, raising an eyebrow.

And that was one of the things Blaine didn't like so much about Laurel; she was painfully observant.

"It wasn't a big deal. Things are tense right now with Alex, but Kurt and I are fine. He's helping me work through it and I'm letting him, alright? Get off my case."

"Blaine, I really think that—"

He cut her off. "I know exactly what you think, Laur. I know you well enough to know what you would want me to do in any given situation, but that's not always what I want to do. And you know what? I'm on my own now, at college, as an independent adult, and I get to make those decisions now."

Laurel's face fell with the weight of hurt pulling it down. "I didn't mean to boss you around, Blaine. I was going to say that I think you're handling this well given the circumstances, but you can let yourself have an emotion about it. You feel so…detached."

She was right; of course she was, because that was his whole goal. All Blaine wanted to do was look at this from an outsider's perspective until things were definitely going to get better. He just couldn't let himself get emotionally invested if things didn't turn out well.

And of course, she hadn't meant to boss him around. Laurel cared about him, loved him deeply, and was checking on him to make sure he was okay despite the situation he was in. Undoubtedly she knew how hard this was for him and was trying to read his face to know if he needed more help than he let on.

All of this Blaine knew logically, but in the moment with his emotions doing whatever the hell they wanted, the only thing he could focus on was getting out of that damn, depressing Cancer Center.

"I appreciate your concern," he said, trying to sound genuine and not annoyed, "but I'm not the one you should be worried about right now. Go see Alex, wait for him to wake up so you can meet him properly. He's the one with leukemia, not me."

"Blaine—"

"I mean it. Go."

He gestured an arm to the hall behind them, vaguely pointing at Alex's room, and attempted what he hoped was a soft expression. The last thing he needed was Laurel and her antenna shooting up to monitor his every move.

"Fine," she relented. "But I'm dropping by your dorm later."

"Hayden Hall, room 211. Kurt's room is 317 if you felt like you needed to drop by there as well."

"Probably not, but good information to have. Thank you."

"I'll see you later."

He headed down the hall in the direction of the elevator to take him downstairs and outside. Finally, he was going to be able to leave what was slowly becoming his least favorite place on earth and head back out into the streets of New York City, then to his dorm. With any luck, Carter would be there, and maybe Jonathan. If Jonathan was there, maybe he could hook him up with a party tonight.

Because with Alex and his parents and Laurel and Kurt all coming at him from every different direction, Blaine just really needed to get drunk.

"Blaine."

He stopped in his tracks at the sight of Alex's doctor coming towards him. Fuck, couldn't he just get out of here? Person after person was keeping him from leaving. This place was starting to feel like a prison even more today. "Heading towards Alex's room?" he asked.

Dr. Pierson nodded. "I'm going to check on his status today, go over his vitals."

"Is the treatment working?"

"Well, we haven't seen any improvements yet, but his condition hasn't worsened either, which is a good sign. It might take a little longer to tell. Usually we would have seen progress by now, but I wouldn't start worrying yet."

"Yet. But I might have to?"

The doctor didn't answer, but his face said it all. The fact that he hadn't seen progress yet wasn't a good sign.

With a sigh, he muttered a quick "Thank you," and swerved around Dr. Pierson, hopefully to leave if people stopped deciding to hold him captive there.

So that was it. Alex wasn't getting any better. No matter how hard Blaine tried, he could never do anything right. His kid brother was going to die before he even got to have a life because Blaine couldn't even manage to donate his bone marrow correctly. Apparently, it was in his bones to be a failure.

Pun ruefully intended.

…

Instead of going straight back to his dorm, Blaine decided to just walk around. He was familiar with a certain area of NYC by now, and if he kept to that area he most likely wouldn't be mugged. It was only early afternoon on a Sunday, and since he didn't have classes, and thanks to Kurt no concert to prepare for, he had nothing but time.

He took the opportunity to walk around the streets of New York, enjoying the sun on his face and cool air on his skin. The weather now was making him regret leaving his jacket at that frat party a couple weeks ago; maybe he could get Jonathan to return it to him. Or he could get it himself tonight if he was lucky enough that the Delta Phi's were in the partying mood on a Sunday night.

For now, though, he was content to be cold. It was a feeling of physical discomfort, a reminder that he was alive.

After he wandered the streets for about an hour and a half, he wound up back at his dorm room. Carter wasn't there after all, or Jonathan, but Kurt was.

"Uhh…" It wasn't that Blaine wasn't happy to see his boyfriend, but he was a little thrown off by the fact that he had seemingly broken into his dorm room.

"Carter let me in. He just left about 10 minutes ago," Kurt explained, not even looking up from where he was typing away on his laptop at Blaine's desk.

Blaine nodded and came over to the desk, setting his homework down beside Kurt's laptop. "I thought you were going to rehearse for that concert."

"I did for about an hour. Then I headed over to your room to wait for you. Did you see Dr. Pierson?"

"Briefly in the hallway."

"What did he say?"

He hesitated. If he told Kurt exactly what the doctor said, then Kurt would give him this eyes full of pity and that annoying look he'd taken on recently of "I've been there, I'm sorry for your loss." But Alex wasn't dead. He was still alive, still getting better; at least, he would be soon. He just needed more time.

"Not much," he finally said. "We're still giving the treatment more time to take effect."

Kurt didn't respond and had still not looked up from his computer, so Blaine placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at the screen. "What are you up to?"

The laptop was quickly slammed shut. "Nothing," Kurt replied, smiling up at Blaine; the picture of innocence.

Blaine was suspicious, but let it go. If he was going to be able to get out tonight, he needed to be on good terms with Kurt and put on a happy face to convince Kurt he was well enough to be left alone.

With Alex's condition and his parents constantly around, Kurt was walking on eggshells around Blaine, trying not to set him off. It felt like right after the Trevor Incident with Laurel, when she was so worried that every single thing she said or did would send him over the edge. Honestly, it got on Blaine's last nerve. He was a person, not a bomb.

"Okay," Blaine answered, returning the smile. They had an entire conversation with their eyes, acknowledging the fact that they weren't acknowledging a lot of things between them, but mutually deciding to address it later. "Do you want to take a nap with me? I'm sort of tired out."

Kurt smirked. "Can we have recess before naptime?"

He couldn't help it, he chuckled. Here they were ignoring all of the problems they had going on right now, both of them having just returned from a cancer center, and Kurt was trying to seduce him.

But Blaine had to admit, he had a pretty hot boyfriend, and the way Kurt was trailing his fingers up and down Blaine's side was definitely working in favor of recess.

"I think some playtime can be arranged. How long is Carter going to be gone for?"

"He didn't give me a definitive time, but he said he was going to a study group for a test he has tomorrow, so chances are we've got a while."

Blaine pulled Kurt up from the chair led him over to the bed.

"Perfect."

…

Three hours later, half of that playtime and half of that naptime, Blaine awoke to a door slamming and Carter shouting, "What up, bitches?" A second later came a more exasperated statement. "Come on, guys. You could've at least put a rubber band on the door."

Confused, Blaine sat up—(just clearing the ceiling because of his short stature). He and Kurt were just sleeping, so how did he know they'd been up to anything else? Did the room just smell like sex?

Then Blaine felt the breeze from the air vent in the room hit his chest and he looked down to realize that he and Kurt hadn't actually managed to put their clothes back on. And Kurt was lying next to him on his stomach, the sheets so low half his ass was exposed. Blaine snatched the edge of the blanket and drew it up to Kurt's neck, who had somehow slept through Carter's outbursts and was still snoozing. Once he was sure Kurt was covered, he looked down at his own lap to make sure he was sufficiently hidden.

"Kurt, get up," Blaine said, nudging Kurt's shoulder. Kurt just groaned and curled in on himself with his back to Blaine. "Sorry," he added to Carter. "We just kind of fell asleep. We were pretty exhausted."

"Yeah, I bet. Just put some clothes on, okay? I'll run down the hall and get a snack from the vending machines to give you two time to get presentable."

"Thanks."

"Hurry up. I've been studying my brains out and I just want to play mind-numbing video games for a few hours."

Blaine huffed and threw a pillow at Carter as he shut the door behind him. Now that they were alone again, Blaine pulled the blanket down a bit and slowly kissed his way down Kurt's spine, pressing his lips to each vertebrae. Kurt began to stir a little, flattening out on his stomache again, but refusing to make any move to actually get up. So, Blaine continued his trail, reaching the curve of Kurt's lower back and just nuzzling the area there. That was one of his favorite parts of Kurt's body, that little dip on his lower back. It was such a feminine feature, but somehow on Kurt it was undeniably sexy and masculine.

"Mmmh," Kurt sighed, reaching a hand up blindly and colliding his palm with Blaine's bare chest. "I'm too tired for round 4, Blaine. Can't we just sleep?"

Blaine chuckled and pressed one last kiss to Kurt's back before sitting up straight again. "We have slept, love. For over an hour. It's time to get up now. Carter gave us 5 minutes to get dressed."

Kurt's eyes shot open. "Carter came back?"

"Yes."

"And saw us?"

"Yep."

"Naked?"

"The sheet was covering up most of me; your ass, however I can't say the same for."

"Oh my God," Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes and sitting up beside Blaine. "I'm mortified."

"You'll be even more mortified if we don't get out of bed now and put on some clothes."

Kurt nodded, so they both climbed down the ladder and retrieved their clothes from the random places they'd thrown them in their hurry to take them off. After a minute or so, Blaine was fully clothed, but turned to find Kurt still searching for his shirt.

"Do you remember where my shirt went?"

Blaine scratched his head. "Did you take it off or did I?"

"I think it was you."

Hmm. He looked around, crouched down and searched under Carter's bed, then straightened up and looked _on _Carter's bed, did a quick sweep of the room with his eyes, but nothing.

Carter opened the door, eyes shielded, and closed it more softly behind him. "All covered up, boys?"

"Almost," Blaine answered, "But you can open your eyes. Actually, you may be of some help. We're searching for Kurt's shirt."

The hand was lowered from Carter's face as he peaked out wearily, wanting to make absolutely certain they didn't relive the moment from a few minutes prior. Satisfied with their level of coverage, Carter nodded and threw himself on his bed. "Where'd you put it?"

Blaine and Kurt shared a look, then both shrugged. "Blaine threw it somewhere."

"Sorry." He scanned the room again and caught what looked like might be the red of Kurt's shirt sticking out of his trash can. He walked over to it and peered down, fishing it out with a triumphant smile. "Found it."

Kurt's eyes bugged out of his head. "My shirt was in your garbage?"

"I don't really think there's that much stuff in there, aside from papers—"

"_You've thrown up in that trash can, Blaine! _Oh my, God. This is disgusting. I can never wear that shirt again. What am I supposed to do? Oh, just put it back in the trash can. I'm not wearing it again."

Blaine rolled his eyes and folded it, tossing it in his laundry basket. "I'm going to wash it and when you come to your senses it will be in my closet waiting for you. Alright?"

"I'm never wearing that again, but if you insist on keeping a piece of garbage, far be it from me to stop you."

Carter sighed. "Could you two stop fighting about clothes and move out of the way so I can play my games now?"

"Sure," Blaine said, stepping away from the television. He picked up the pillow from the floor where he'd thrown it at Carter and set it on his bed. Then he turned to Kurt and laughed, seeing how he'd wrapped his arms around himself. "Cold, dear?"

"I'm fine," Kurt snapped. Blaine gave it 3…2…1… "What am I supposed to wear now, hmm? That was Calvin Klein, Blaine. That was a high quality shirt. Now I don't have it anymore. One of my favorite shirts… And how am I supposed to get back to my dorm now without a shirt on? People will be staring at me."

"It's fine, you're hot. I wouldn't worry about it," Blaine replied, smirking.

Kurt fixed him with a look. "This is not a laughing matter, Blaine. A $55 shirt and it's wasted now."

"Why aren't you wearing an undershirt?" Carter asked, getting up to turn on the console and retrieve the controller.

"Because _someone _keeps losing them," Kurt remarked, staring pointedly at Blaine.

Blaine put his hands in the air. "It's not my fault. I can't be held accountable for my actions when I'm trying to get your clothes off. That's a completely unfair thing to do. I have no control in those situations."

Carter snorted and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Well, now that I'm sufficiently freezing, I'm going to go back to my room and put on a shirt and then try to get some work done."

Sans explanation, Blaine turned to his closet and opened the door, rummaging around in the box on the floor of his closet until he found what he was looking for. He had a whole box full of clothes he didn't wear but might come in handy eventually. Aha, there it was. Why he hadn't thought to use it for himself given that he'd lost his jacket was completely lost on him, but Kurt needed it more, so he crossed the room and held it out to him.

Kurt eyed it like it was a snake about to bite him. "What is that?"

"It's my Dalton hoodie. You're complaining about being cold and people seeing you, so I figured you could wear it just to get to your dorm. I know your fashion sense is a little more refined than this, I don't expect to see you in it all the time. It's merely a means of transportation."

The look in Kurt's eyes softened and he smiled up at Blaine, taking the hoodie. "I've never worn my boyfriend's jacket before."

Blaine laughed. "Here's your opportunity. Put it on and go to your room and do whatever it is you need to do. Then you can call me later like you promised to earlier."

His boyfriend slipped the hoodie on then stared down at himself somewhat in awe, eyes shining. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

"God, I'm going to throw up," Carter said. "Just leave already."

The couple made eye contact and rolled their eyes together, then smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "What are you going to get up to tonight?" Kurt asked.

Blaine hesitated, because his previous desire to go get drunk had not gone away, so he planned to go out and get wasted. But he knew Kurt wouldn't approve of this, so he lied.

"Oh, nothing much. Maybe do a little homework, play a few rounds with Carter on _Modern Warfare_. I'm sure I'll find something."

"Sounds like a plan. I love you."

"I love you, too."

With one last kiss, Kurt gathered up his things and left. The second he was gone, Blaine started formulating his plan.

Chances were, there wouldn't be a frat party tonight. He knew that. He was fooling himself if he thought they'd throw a party on a Sunday night. But he did still have that fake ID from when he and Kurt went to Scandals…maybe he could find another gay bar in New York and use the fake ID to get some alcohol. In fact, that might be even better. He wouldn't have to deal with Jonathan or anyone he knew getting in his way.

He could be free.

He checked the time on his phone and frowned. It was only 5 o'clock. There was no way any clubs would be open at 5 o'clock. Unless…he could always just go to a liquor store, buy some alcohol, and drink it on his own. Why did he need a party or a club to drink? His fake ID and the cash in his wallet were enough to get him drunk. He didn't even need to worry about all of that other stuff. The only thing that mattered was him and the alcohol. Everything else was just extra.

Then that's what he would do. His plan was set. He'd buy some alcohol, brown bag it, find a nice deserted park to sit at and drink until he couldn't remember why he'd started.

Wonderful.

"I'm going to go out," he announced, grabbing his keys and his wallet.

Carter continued playing the game but asked, "Where to? I thought you told Kurt you were going to work on your homework."

"Yeah, I am, I just uh…I'm going to get some more snacks. We're out. If I'm going to study, I want to eat while I'm doing it."

"Whatever. Make sure you get some Cool Ranch Doritos. Those things are the shit."

"Sure, yeah. I'll be back whenever."

"Okay."

Too easy.

…

On his way to the liquor store, Laurel had texted him asking if they could have dinner together that night. He sent back a quick excuse about homework and just staying in his dorm with a cup of Instant Ramen, but an offer to do lunch the following day. She bought it in a heartbeat and even tagged a smiley face on the end of her message.

God, it was easy lying to her. In fact, it was easy lying to Carter and Kurt as well. In the back of his mind, Blaine thought vaguely how he should probably be concerned with the fact that it was so easy to lie to those he loved; but then he found a liquor store and all other trains of thought vanished.

After all, getting drunk was the only thing that mattered right now. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

He went in, bought a bottle of tequila with only one strange look from the cashier, and was back out on the streets.

Santana would be so proud.

He found an empty bench in front of a drug store and sat down, unscrewing the cap in the bag and lifting it to his mouth. The alcohol burned the back of his throat on the way down. He had to squelch the desire to spit it right back out. After another 20 seconds, he lifted the bottle again and took another sip. Still as bitter as the first time, but he knew with the more he drank the less awful it would taste. So he kept taking little sips.

And then, eventually, it didn't feel so bad.

Initially, he had been worried about just drinking out in the street on New York where there was a constant stream of people buzzing past him. But that was just the thing; in New York, no one really cares about you. The only thing any New Yorker cares about is themselves, so they basically ignored the fact that he even existed at all.

He was very used to that feeling.

On that note, he took a much bigger sip.

About 20 minutes had passed, he was guessing, and he'd drunk about a quarter of the bottle, if his squinting into the bag was any indication. Not nearly enough. He was feeling pretty warm, but he needed more. He could still feel the pain of Alex, of Richard and Charlotte, of who he was, of who he would never be.

He graduated from sips to gulping.

Ten minutes and another quarter later had Blaine almost falling off of the bench his brain was so out of it. The world was swirly and people were just blurs of color and _this _is what he'd been hoping for; at least, he thought. He was a bit too drunk to figure out what it was that he wanted after all.

When one of the colorful blurs started calling his name, he told his eyes to focus and tried to figure out who was coming towards him. Whoever it was had a group of colorful blurs with them, about 3 or 4 he guessed. The blur approached him and Blaine realized with a pang that it was Kurt.

Shit.

"Blaine? That is you. What are you doing?" Kurt plopped down on the bench beside him and, as Blaine's eyes focused in, he noticed Kurt staring at the brown bag in his hand. "What is that?"

Blaine shrugged. "My birthday present to myself."

"Your birthday is in December. Give me that."

Kurt reached out to try to grab the bottle, but Blaine only gripped it harder and ripped his arm out of the way, nearly hitting someone in the process. They fought for it for a moment before it slipped out of Blaine's hands and fell onto the ground, the glass inside shattering.

"Kurt!" Blaine gasped. "That cost me…money!" He really couldn't remember how much it cost. "That was expensive!" He was assuming.

His boyfriend leaned towards him and sniffed the air near his mouth. "Alcohol. That's really great, Blaine."

"It is, actually. So you can go hang out with your buddies and leave me to go buy some more," Blaine spat, gesturing to the army of thousands Kurt had behind him.

As if he just remembered he was with them, Kurt turned to the 3 people who were suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable. One of them joked awkwardly, "So, this is the boyfriend."

Kurt sighed. "I'm really sorry about this, guys. He's just going through a lot right now. Go on and have dinner without me, I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Sure thing. I hope he feels better," another one said.

"Thanks."

They left shooting sympathetic glances at Blaine, giving him a wide girth and avoiding the broken glass on the ground that had escaped the paper bag it was previously encased in.

"We're leaving," Kurt announced, tugging Blaine to his feet.

Blaine stood but pulled himself out of Kurt's grasp with a grimace. "No we're not. _You _leave. Catch up with your buddies and have dinner like you were planning to and leave _me_ to _my_ plans."

"Oh, your plans? You sat around and planned to go out and drink cheap liquor on the street?"

"You know what? I did. I thought briefly about a frat party since that's what I normally do, but I figured there wouldn't be one on a Sunday, so I was going to go to a club. But it was only 5 in the evening and I didn't think they'd be open yet so I just decided, hey, what do you need all of that for, Blaine? Just go buy yourself some liquor and drink it on your own. Everything else is just a distraction from the alcohol anyway, and that's what you're really after."

"Very sensible, Blaine. I'm so proud of you for figuring all of that out. You are just making me so proud to be with you right now."

He scoffed and shoved past Kurt, heading in the direction from which Kurt came. The only reason he even went that way was because he figured if Kurt came from that way, that must be where the dorms are, and now all he wanted to do was collapse and sleep and get away from all of this. Because tonight, not even the alcohol was working.

"You're too drunk to even know where you're going," Kurt called, jogging up behind him to catch up.

"I'm going where I want to go and it's of no concern to you."

"Of course. I'm only your boyfriend. Nothing you do is a concern to me at all. It doesn't bother me at all that you're lying to me now so you can go buy liquor with a fake ID and get drunk on the street."

Blaine didn't respond. He just kept walking, making sure there was sufficient space between him and Kurt. Now was not the time for hand-holding as they strolled casually through the streets of New York.

"I'm worried about you," Kurt sighed. "Don't you get that?"

"You're sure as hell doing everything you can to drive it into my skull so, yeah, I get that. Forgive me if I'm a bit too preoccupied with my dying brother to dwell too much on how you're worried about me."

If Kurt knew what was good for him, he'd just leave Blaine alone and go to dinner with his friends. Couldn't he see that Blaine wanted to be left alone? If he wanted to be around Kurt right now, he would have invited him out with him to get drunk. But no, he made sure to lie to his boyfriend so that he could do this. He lied to Kurt, he lied to Carter, he lied to Laurel. This was not an accidental occurrence. He just wanted to be able to sit alone and drink. Why was that so much to ask for?

Blaine didn't realize he'd spoken any of this until Kurt replied, "Because the people in your life, like me and Carter and Laurel, care too much about you to leave you alone and let you drink your pain away. That's why you had to lie to us. Because you knew deep down that it was wrong and you knew we love you too much to let you do that to yourself if you'd given us any say in the matter."

They were still walking down the street and Blaine could see their dorm coming into focus. He had no idea he'd been so close to the dorms. Next time, he'll go a lot further so Kurt doesn't interrupt.

"The dorms are right there. We're going to continue this discussion when we get there. Until then, don't talk to me, because I don't want you saying something I know you'll regret in the morning," Kurt told him.

"Whatever."

Regardless of the fact that Blaine would love nothing more than to talk for the rest of their walk to the dorms just to spite Kurt, he remained quiet, because he just didn't have anything else to say. Kurt was the one who wanted to talk. All Blaine wanted to do was drink.

Finally, they made it to the dormitory building and up the one flight of stairs to Blaine's room. He was hoping that they could just go in and Carter would just ignore them and he could just climb up to his bed and sleep, but life didn't always work out the way you want.

The minute he opened the door he regretted it. Because instead of coming face to face with Carter playing video games, he was greeted with the TV powered off and his parents standing awkwardly by his desk while Carter sat on his bed looking completely lost.

"Thank God you're here," Carter muttered, standing up. "Your parents came."

"I see that," Blaine said, eyeing his parents in the corner. "What do you want?" he asked them.

"Alex was asking for you," his mother explained. "He wanted you to read him one of those books you keep bringing him. Something about penguins."

"_And Tango Makes Three._ That's what the book is called," he answered.

"Yes. That one. I haven't read it, but he's asking for you to read it to him. And as you well know, what an Anderson wants, an Anderson gets."

Blaine scoffed. "That's funny, Mom. I don't remember wanting to get beaten and thrown out, but that's what I got from Dad while you just sat there."

"Blaine," his father reprimanded, "there are other listening ears in the room."

He turned back to Kurt behind him and Carter beside him. "Yeah, and they both already know about that so I don't see an issue."

His mom sniffed the air around him and frowned. "Blaine, you reek of alcohol. Where have you been?"

"That's not really any of your business anymore," he said.

"Oh, that's very mature," Richard remarked, looking at Blaine as if he was a homeless person he was _that _low. "Going out to get drunk when you're underaged. You must think you're so cool."

"Sure, Daddy Dearest. _That's_ why I go drink. To feel cool. You must think you know me so well."

"On the contrary. I don't know you at all. You're no son of mine."

"Was I ever?"

His father sighed. "What happened was 4 years ago now, Blaine. Don't you think it's about time to grow up and get over that?"

"Yeah, Dad. Let me just get right on with my life. It's not like I needed parents or anything. It's not like I was just a little kid who wanted to be loved. It's not like I wasn't asking for you to break my ribs and kick me out of the house—"

"Damnit, Blaine!" his father roared. The whole room jumped, including his silent mother. Before Blaine could even register what was happening, his father had advanced on him and Carter had stepped back, out of the way of the dispute. "You were not this perfect little kid you make yourself out to be! You were a terrible child. You were always doing everything your mother and I asked you _not _to do. You never listened to either of us; all you ever did was cause trouble and break things and interrupt us when we were busy. When you got older, you intentionally defied us every chance you got. Then you came out to us as _gay_ and you expected us to just _accept that?_ It's disgusting, Blaine. _You're _disgusting."

"Oh yeah?" Blaine asked. He moved closer to his dad, standing on flat feet and only coming up to his father's neck but looking up into his father's eyes with as much courage as he could muster. "If being gay is so disgusting, what do you think about the book I've been reading to your other son?"

His father clenched his jaw, and his voice took on that low, menacing tone. "Excuse me?"

"Blaine, don't," Kurt said from behind him. Of course Kurt knew what the book Alex was asking after was about. He and Kurt had read it to Alex together.

Instead of listening to his boyfriend, Blaine said, "That book about penguins that Alex was talking about? It's about two male penguins who are mates and raising a baby penguin on their own. As a gay couple. It's a book designed to teach children that being gay is okay. And I've been reading it to your son. Over and over and ov—"

_Smack!_

The sound of his father slapping him across the face rebounded around the room, resonating in everyone's ears. He could hear his mother gasp, Kurt and Carter coming up to pull Blaine away from his dad before his dad could do anything else, but Blaine ignored it all. He did the only thing he knew how to do when he was drunk; he hit.

He swung his arm back and punched his father right in the eye, then lunged after him, hitting and punching anywhere he could get to. His father was trying to push him off, but Blaine had gotten strong over the years. He kept attacking until two sets of arms were grabbing either of his, pulling him back. He was lifted in the air and used this opportunity to start kicking, victoriously getting a good kick in to his father's stomache.

"Richard!" His mother shrieked, coming over to where his father was kneeling on the ground.

"Come at me again!" Blaine shouted, desperately trying to escape Kurt and Carter's grip. "Hit me one more time, Dad! Just one more time! Give me an excuse to go ape-shit on you! I dare you! Try me and see if I don't kick your pathetic fucking loser ass! You poor excuse for a father! Alex would be better off dying than having to live with you two!"

"That's enough, Blaine," Kurt cut in, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at him. "You're done. Got it? Done."

"Don't tell me when I'm done," Blaine spat, throwing his arms down to free them from the hands that were holding them. He walked over to where his dad was on his knees on the ground, his mother bent over beside him. "You're a fucking asshole, you know that?"

His father was breathing heavily, obviously having the wind knocked out of him from when Blaine kicked him in the stomache. That and the swelling already happening at Richard's eye made Blaine elated.

"You were never a good person, Blaine. Never. And you never will be. This drunken mess of a person is all you'll ever be. You can't do anything right. You can't even save your own brother."

Blaine kicked his father in the stomache again, causing Kurt and Carter to drag him away all over again. "Yeah," he said, "How's that feel, Dad? How's it feel to be kicked in the stomache 'til you can't breathe?"

Just then, a loud, persistent knock sounded on the door, and all 5 heads swiveled in the direction of the door.

"Who is it?" Carter called out.

"Your RA," the voice called back. "Resident Assistant. I've had noise complaints about shouting. Is there a problem in there?"

Blaine stomped over to the door and threw it open. He looked the red-headed, freckled, gangly guy in his doorway and said, "No problem at all. My parents and I were having a little familial dispute, but they were just leaving."

Richard and Charlotte both stood up straight, even though Richard was still having trouble breathing, and headed for the door. The RA eyed them oddly but didn't say anything. As his parents passed him, Blaine muttered to his dad, "How's it feel now that the roles are reversed, Dad?"

His dad just fixed him with a solemn glare that said _This isn't over_ and pushed past the nosey RA, finally leaving Blaine alone.

"Is that alcohol I smell on your breath?" the RA asked.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "No. Mind your own fucking business." He slammed the door before the RA had a chance to argue.

"If I find you with alcohol you could get kicked out of the dorms!" the guy shouted through the door.

Man, this kid just would not give up. Blaine shouted right back, "Good thing I don't have any, then! Goodnight!"

Footsteps were loud outside the door then faded, and Blaine took that to mean the RA had finally given up and gone back to his own room now that the disturbance was over.

He banged his forehead against the door and turned around with his eyes shut, sliding his back down the door until he was sitting on the floor, head in his hands.

Why did his father have to say all of those things? It was like his dad knew exactly how screwed up he was and was throwing it in his face. To hear it from himself was one thing, but to hear it from his dad was another. Unconsciously, he started crying, running his fingers into his hair and grabbing patches of it so hard his scalp was starting to scream in protest. He ignored it and pulled harder.

A hand fell gently on his forearm and someone knelt beside him. "Blaine, nothing your father said was true, okay?" It was Kurt. "He doesn't know what he was talking about. He doesn't know you at all. Just because he was an unfit father to you doesn't mean you were a bad child."

"Get out," Blaine said weakly, not looking up.

He felt Kurt start beside him. "What?"

"I said," he lifted his head and stared straight into Kurt's eyes, "get out."

"Wh-Why?"

"Because I hit my dad. And I don't trust myself not to hit you too."

Kurt opened his mouth, but no words came out. Instead, Blaine could swear he heard Kurt's heart breaking inside his chest at the statement.

But it was true. For the first time in years, he'd hit someone. He'd been so careful, save for the incident where he let Karofsky have it, but now he'd hit his father. It was coming back; _he _was coming back, that person he used to be. If he was still capable of attacking people, he didn't trust himself right now. And Kurt was the last person he wanted that to come out on.

"Blaine, I trust you. I don't think you're going to hit me," Kurt said.

He shook his head and wiped his eyes. "What do you want from me to get the message, Kurt? Do I have to actually hit you to make you understand that that's not out of the realm of possibility?"

"Blaine," Carter said, looking at him like he'd never seen him before. "What are you talking about?"

"I hit people," he explained. "It's kind of my thing. When I get drunk or angry, I lash out. I hit people. I thought that was in the past, but as you just saw, it's clearly not. So Kurt needs to leave."

"But—"

"But nothing, Kurt. He's right. If he's in danger of hitting you and he knows that, you need to leave. I'll take it from here, okay?"

Kurt stared at Carter, trying to see if he was serious or not, Blaine guessed. After a moment, Kurt just stood up and motioned to the door with his hand, silently asking Blaine to move. Blaine stood up and opened the door for Kurt, allowing his boyfriend to kiss him on the forehead on his way out. Kurt murmured an "I love you" and left.

Blaine was surprised Kurt had given up so easily. He must have seen something in Carter's eyes that made him believe he was in capable hands.

"Just go to sleep, man," Carter told him, collapsing on his own bed. "It's been a long day and you need to sleep off all that alcohol."

"It's barely 7 o'clock."

"Well I'm fucking exhausted, alright?"

Sure. Carter was exhausted. Blaine was the one with the brother in the hospital and going and getting drunk and getting into a fist fight with his dad. But sure. Carter was the one who was tired.

"Whatever. You don't even know the meaning of the word," Blaine grunted, climbing the ladder up to his bed.

"You know what, Blaine? Believe it or not, you're not the only one with a shitty life. Amanda's dad finally died today. So she's been having to deal with her 3 younger siblings who don't know how to function now that they don't have parents at all."

"They can take a page from my book."

"Your parents may be scum of the earth but at least they're still alive. There's still the possibility that they'll come around and be there for you. Amanda and Scotty and Thomas and Amelia, they don't have that anymore."

Blaine wanted to say that he was wrong. He wanted to tell Carter that there was absolutely no possibility that his parents would ever come around and be there for him. They hated him from the time he was a child and they still hate him now. The only reason they'd kept up this truce thus far was to save their good son. But now that they had the donation they needed from Blaine, they were free to express their true feelings. They'd gotten what they really wanted, and now they could go back to ignoring him and treating him like the garbage he was.

All of this he wanted to stay, but instead he curled up in his bed, wrapped himself tightly in the covers, and hugged the pillow that Kurt usually used when he slept over, trying desperately to convince himself that it felt like Kurt as he cried himself to sleep.

**This is actually not how I intended this chapter to go, but I think it'll do. I have a lot of great ideas for the next chapter, but it'll be shorter than this one. Not as short as the previous chapter, but not as long as this one. We'll see how that one goes!**

**Give me an R. Give me an E. Give me a V. Give me an I. Give me and E. Give me a W. What does that spell? Review! :D**


	27. The Break Up

**The chapter we've all been dreading since the prologue. I know, I know. I apologize in advance.**

_October 22, 2012_

Surprising himself, Blaine actually awoke to his alarm clock. He hadn't been expecting to with how drunk he'd gotten the night before, but when his alarm clock went off, he felt strangely ready to start the day. Just not in a good way; more of in a way that he was ready for it to be _over _already. Something in his gut was just telling him that this was not going to be a good day for him.

"Turn it off," Carter groaned below; something about his roommate's voice told Blaine that he'd probably been awake for a while.

He sighed and reached a hand over to where his alarm clock was taped to the end of one of his bed posts. "Your wish is my command."

"Don't be snarky. I'm not in the mood today."

"That makes two of us."

The rest of the morning while Blaine showered, dressed, and gathered his books for class was spent in silence. Carter didn't have any classes today, so he just stayed in bed watching Blaine go about his morning routine. Everything just felt like a normal Monday morning, except that it wasn't.

Because Amanda's father had died.

Because Blaine's brother could die at any moment.

Death was knocking on everyone's door these days and Blaine wasn't too particularly happy about it.

Since that first phone call with Scotty months ago, he had made sure to text Scotty every day, just to let him know that someone was there for him even when the world was against him. Today felt different. Should he send a text expressing his condolences? It seemed a little cold to text someone that you're sorry they lost their parent. Blaine decided against it, instead sending off a quick _I'm here for you. _A message that he'd sent many a morning before, but he knew would take on a different meaning today.

Usually, Kurt would knock on his door around this time and they'd walk to class together; they didn't have the same class on Mondays, but they switched off who would walk who to which classroom. Today would normally be Kurt's turn to walk Blaine, but he never showed. Blaine gave it 5 minutes before deciding that Kurt wasn't coming and heading out, muttering a quick goodbye to Carter.

He wasn't exactly surprised that his boyfriend hadn't come that morning, but he wasn't pleased either. He knew he could be a dick when he was drunk but he'd thought it was mostly directed towards his father last night. The only reason Blaine asked Kurt to leave was because he saw what he was capable of, what he could do if Kurt happened to say the wrong thing. He was looking out for Kurt, trying to save him. He didn't want to make him angry.

No, Kurt probably wasn't angry; most likely, he was disappointed. Somehow, that was worse.

The first two of his classes passed quickly with Blaine attempting to pay attention but failing miserably. Mostly he just noticed the sympathetic looks his professors kept giving him; he must look especially awful today, and with their knowledge of Blaine's "family emergency" thanks to Kurt, assumed the worst. Whatever. It meant they left him alone and didn't call on him so he was fine with it.

Eventually, lunchtime rolled around, and Laurel texted him asking where they should meet up for lunch. He let her know that the caf food wasn't all that great and they should probably eat elsewhere, her pick. She said she'd spied a little Italian place not too far from campus that she'd thought was interesting enough to try and Blaine agreed. They met in front of his dorm building and walked the 5 blocks to get there in silence. Something about this day had everyone subdued.

Once they'd arrived and been seated, Blaine ended the quiet. "Have you seen him today yet?"

Laurel shook her head. "I was going to go to the center after lunch with you. How many classes do you have left today?"

"Just one. I could skip and go with you."

"No, no. Don't do that. You've already missed enough from when you had strep. You should go ahead and attend class; you can come see Alex right after."

"Alright."

A waitress came by to take their drink orders, interrupting the conversation. They perused the menu while she got their drinks, deciding on what they wanted before she came back that way when she brought their drinks she could take their meal order. She returned, handed them both the water they ordered, and took their orders for food, then disappeared with their menus to give their requests to the cook.

Finally, Laurel exhaled and looked at Blaine. "I'm not going to apologize for what I said to you yesterday."

Puzzled, Blaine met her eyes. "I didn't ask you to."

"Well I'm not."

"Okay then."

She fidgeted for a minute, stirring the water and ice around in her glass with her straw. "I saw Charlotte and Dick today."

"Mmm?"

"That's quite the shiner you gave him."

Blaine stiffened. "Who said I gave it to him?"

"Your reaction just now."

Crap. He really was an open book.

"Were you drunk?" Laurel asked.

He hated discussing these things with her, but he didn't want to lie again. "Yes."

She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. "Blaine, why do you do that?"

"Because it's the only way I can let loose and not feel so trapped."

"Trapped how?"

"Trapped in this life, in my head, in my own mortality. I just need an escape sometimes."

Laurel rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that crap. You want an escape? Find a hobby. Crochet, knit, bake—"

"What am I, an 80 year old woman?"

"If it'll keep you from getting drunk to forget about your problems, yes. You can't keep running to alcohol every time something bad happens. That's how people become alcoholics, and you're too young. I don't want to see that happen to you, Blainers."

Of course she didn't. Who the hell wants to watch their 18—almost 19—year old cousin become an alcoholic? But Blaine didn't really see any other option.

"What does Kurt say about all of this?" she asked.

"What do you think?"

"I think he is probably hurting to see you hurting so much, and it hurts him even more that you turn to alcohol to fix that. Don't you care about his feelings in this at all?"

"You know I do," Blaine said fiercely, taking a huge gulp of water and trying to pretend it was alcohol.

"Then why aren't you doing more to stop yourself? You don't have to do this, Blaine. You have Kurt, you have me, you have that roommate of yours who is always butting in on our Skype conversations."

"Carter."

"Yes, him. You have a support system, and it doesn't have to be alcohol. Just promise me you'll at least try, okay? I know your world is kind of collapsing right now, but promise me you'll try to stop drinking."

Blaine sighed. That wasn't something he could do, and he was tired of lying. But he couldn't say that. Laurel wouldn't accept it. So he used his words to create a loophole.

What Blaine said: "I promise that I will try to turn more to my support system rather than the alternative."

What Blaine meant: "I promise that I will try to turn more to alcohol rather than you, Kurt, and Carter."

Because Laurel had said he had a support system, and it didn't _have _to be alcohol. But it could be if that's how Blaine wished to define it. And the alternative _she _was referring to was drinking, in comparison to leaning on loved ones. He just flipped it around.

His answer was sufficient enough to trick her, though. Blaine was a master with words.

"Good. I don't want to see you fall down into that place again."

"How long are you staying?" Blaine asked, changing the subject.

"Just until tonight. I could only manage to get off for today, but I have to fly back tonight and be at Dalton tomorrow morning. They weren't very accommodating of the family emergency since it wasn't _immediate _family."

That was awful. Blaine didn't think Dalton was that harsh, but maybe the rules were different for teachers and students. Still, it gave him the opportunity to drink tonight without Laurel hovering. And because she was leaving, she wouldn't have to see him fall down into that place again, because she wouldn't be around to watch it happen.

Kurt would though. And Blaine had to admit that he felt a little bad about that.

Their food arrived, so Blaine was able to distract himself from that train of thought by eating his tortellini. He and his cousin ate in silence once again, then Laurel paid for their food and they left. She kissed him on the cheek, told him she loved him, and they parted to go their separate ways.

After lunch, Blaine tried really hard to concentrate in his last class of the day. He focused on the professor, took good notes, just all around did everything he could to stay tuned in on this mundane material rather than his sick brother in the hospital. He was being such a good student, even, that he placed his phone on silent and stuck it in his bag for the hour and thirty minutes duration of the class.

It was nice to check out for a while in class, and Blaine thought that maybe he could give this sober thing a shot. Instead of getting lost in alcohol, he could immerse himself in classes and studying and music. Maybe he could keep his promise to Laurel in the way she intended.

There was a whole 5 minutes where Blaine thought, hey, I could change. He thought he really could live up to the man Laurel and Kurt wanted him to be. Then, he checked his phone, and his whole world stopped spinning.

7 Missed Calls from Laurel Anderson.

2 Missed Calls from Dick's Wife.

4 Texts from Laurel Anderson.

1 Text from Dick.

All through class his parents and his cousin had been trying to contact him. For a moment he tried to tell himself it was good news, but he knew that wasn't realistic. His parents would just leave it to Laurel if it was something good.

He shoved his notebook in his backpack and threw it over his shoulder, practically sprinting from the room as he began to thumb through his texts. They were all vague, but all expressing the sentiment that he needed to come to the Cancer Center. Now.

…

"What happened?" he demanded, bursting into Alex's room.

Alex was still in his bed, hooked up to machines that beeped, signaling that he was alive.

Everyone in the room—Laurel, Richard, Charlotte, and the nurse from the first day—all snapped their heads at the disturbance. Alex jumped a little, but when he noticed it was Blaine he smiled.

"B'aine," he rasped in that tiny, frail voice of his. "Hi."

Blaine rushed over to the bed and knelt beside Alex, taking the boy's tiny hands in his. "Hey there, little man. How are you doing?"

"I'm good."

"You're well," Blaine corrected, thinking of Kurt.

Whom he still hadn't heard from all day.

"I'll get Dr. Pierson," the nurse said, backing away looking uncomfortable.

Immediately, Blaine turned his attention from his little brother to the adults in the room, staring at the scene by the bed sadly.

"What happened?" he repeated.

The adults all exchanged glances then looked back at him. Laurel said, "We'll let the doctor tell you."

"Why can't you?"

"Because he'll explain it better."

Blaine was not happy with that answer, but it would have to do. So he climbed up on the bed beside Alex and scooped the boy into his lap, twirling his brother's curls on his fingers. That was something they'd started doing. When Blaine came to visit, he'd get some homework done, then get up on the bed and hold Alex, running his fingers through his hair, until the boy fell asleep.

Except this time, Dr. Pierson appeared in the door before Blaine had a chance to lull him to sleep.

And everyone knows that when a doctor shows up in a timely fashion, it's never a good sign.

"Blaine, if you'll step out into the hall with me for a moment?" the doctor asked, lips in a firm line.

He didn't like the sound of that; not at all.

Still, he gently laid Alex aside again and followed the doctor outside. Alex cried out for him as he neared the door.

"Come back! I didn't fall asleep yet! You hafta play with my hair 'til I fall 'sleep!"

"I'll be right back, Alex, I promise."

Out in the hall, Dr. Pierson got right to it, explaining everything that had happened today while he'd been in class.

_I was doing my rounds…_

…_numbers incredibly low…_

…_not responding to treatment…_

…_could try something else, but there are no guarantees…_

…_at his stage, I can't say anything for certain…_

"Stop," Blaine whispered, closing his eyes. He'd said it so quietly he wasn't sure the doctor had even heard him, but he stopped nonetheless; Blaine imagined Dr. Pierson was probably used to having to stop mid-explanation for loved ones of the patients.

"We could try again, Blaine—"

"Just stop. I can't hear anymore." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. After taking a moment to process everything the doctor was saying, he opened his eyes and met the patient ones of the man in front of him. "You mentioned options."

"Yes. We could try the bone marrow transplant again, or we could just try chemotherapy or radiation alone. It's up to the discretion of the parents."

"And what did they say?"

"They said they weren't sure if they had a willing donor anymore."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"They said—"

"No, I heard you. Why would they say that?"

Dr. Pierson pursed his lips. "Where did your father's bruised eye come from?"

Shit.

"He must have gotten in a bar fight last night or something. Look, I'm a willing donor. We can do it right now. Take me down to that room and stick that giant needle in me and take all the bone marrow you want. Stick that other needle in my veins and take all the blood you want. You can have anything you need from me. Just make my brother healthy again."

"I thought you might say that," Dr. Pierson said, his lips straightening out to form a small smile. "I've already had a room and nurse prepared to take the samples. Come right this way."

The man started down the hall before Blaine could even say okay. As he followed, he said, "Wait, so you're not even going to press further about my father's eye?"

"Your father's well-being is not of my concern unless he is a patient of mine. Since he's not, and his son is, I'm purely invested in Alexander's health, not your father's."

Blaine smirked despite what was happening. "You don't like him either, do you?"

"Now, Blaine, it would be completely unprofessional of me to say such a thing."

"That wasn't a denial."

"I'm aware. In my profession, you learn to choose your words very wisely."

He _knew _there was a reason he liked this guy.

Finally, they arrived at a room not unlike the last one he'd had this procedure done in. Dr. Pierson left him in the capable hands of the same nurse who'd done it last time and scurried to attend to his other patients. The nurse—Lily, Blaine believed—handed him a hospital gown to change into and stepped outside for a moment. He didn't see the point, really. She was going to be digging a metal rod into the side of his hip, so she was about to see his ass anyway.

When he'd changed, he poked his head out the door and ushered her back in. She'd already had everything set up, so she gestured for Blaine to get up on the bed and lay on his side. As the needle sank through layers and layers of human anatomy to painfully retrieve its target, Blaine let the tears flow and grasped air, reminding himself of when he'd cried himself to sleep the previous night.

He wondered how many more times he'd have to do that.

…

_October 31, 2012_

Turns out, a lot of times.

Too many, if you asked Blaine.

After he donated bone marrow again and got back to the dorms, he headed up to Kurt's room to see if he was there. He wasn't, but his roommate Stephen was. Stephen told him that Kurt was rehearsing for the concert and asked that if Blaine came by for Stephen to tell him that Kurt was just doing what he'd asked.

Ouch.

So, with that little slap in the face combined with Alex's declining health, Blaine went out and got drunk.

Not the smartest decision he'd ever made.

He drank on the street again, and when he got back and Carter noticed he was drunk, he went and got Kurt—desire for solitude be damned—and forced him to take care of him. Kurt, being the perfect boyfriend that he was, did so—though not without a lot of screaming from Blaine. No physical violence, but lots of verbal abuse. And that wasn't something Kurt deserved, but it was something he endured until Blaine threw himself on the floor in a fit and broke down, signaling the time for Kurt to hold him close and kiss the top of his head and remind him that he was someone worth loving.

That would have been okay one or two times, but that's exactly how every night went for the next week.

Every night, Blaine would get drunk on the street or at a party or at a bar and then burst into the room; Carter would call Kurt, and Kurt would come every time. Blaine wondered how many more times it would take until Kurt would have had enough. Enough verbal abuse, enough taking care of a broken, drunken mess of a human being, enough fighting. If Kurt would ever get to the point where he'd just give up on him like everyone else in his life had.

He couldn't blame him; not really. If Blaine had to deal with himself every night, he probably wouldn't keep coming either. Then again, Blaine _did _have to deal with himself every night, and every day. That's why he drank. To get away from himself.

And to get away from Alex, who wasn't getting worse but wasn't getting better. Still. It was the same stalemate from the last time he'd gone through this treatment. The bone marrow transplant was already an intense treatment course, because they paired it with chemo and radiation too, and if Alex's body wasn't going to respond to this, there was a good chance he wouldn't respond to anything and the cancer was just going to kill him.

But Blaine couldn't live with that reality. So he chose another. He chose a reality where he could literally feel the world turning on its axis, and feel the air around him, and taste the pain he was too reluctant to experience, and hear the life in his body, pretending it was Alex's heart beating so strongly.

The thing was that this was only effective for so long. Alcohol could only mask things for a few hours before Blaine either sobered up or knocked out, but that release only came after he'd had a total and complete breakdown. For him to experience that kind of emotional trauma every night was really taking a toll on him. How many times could a person break down before they finally just broke for good?

Blaine was about to find out.

It was Halloween. Four years ago, he was going to a party with Trevor, testing the waters for their relationship.

Today, he'd be going to a Delta Phi party. Because even though it was a Wednesday, classes could not keep partiers down. And it was _Halloween. _Of _course _fraternities were going to throw parties tonight.

Finally. Free alcohol. He'd been having to buy his own for these past few nights, but he could finally get it for free and get lost in a crowd again. It was perfect.

He'd been careful to avoid Kurt that day, which wasn't that hard given that most of the time Kurt ignored him during the days anyway. He guessed Kurt was pissed, but every night he'd come and rock Blaine back and forth as he sobbed in his arms, and Kurt would press soft kisses to his hair and his temple and his cheeks and his tear-filled eyes and tell him how much he was loved and how good he was. Kurt wouldn't do that if he was pissed, right? But then why was Blaine getting the cold shoulder during the days?

Blaine resolved not to dwell on that too much. They could talk about it soon. When Alex's treatment started working and that weight was lifted off of Blaine's back, he could focus on Kurt. For now, Alex was his top priority.

He called to check in with Dr. Pierson one last time before slipping on an old cardigan he found in that same box he'd found the Dalton hoodie for Kurt in. Alex was still the same, which meant Blaine was free to go drink. Well, the doctor didn't say that last part, but Blaine mentally added it.

Everyone else was dressing up for the party, but Blaine didn't feel like it, so he just dressed nicely and hoped they'd let him in anyway.

Carter wasn't in the room to hold him back—he'd taken off school for the rest of the week to fly out this morning to California and help Amanda with everything going on right now since her father's passing—so with one final glance around the room he left.

Thanks to Jonathan who knew nothing of Blaine's raging alcoholism, he was in. It took him less than an hour to get hammered. He was an expert at it now, knowing what liquors got him the drunkest the fastest. In no time, he was feeling warm and great again, smiling and laughing with all the soccer guys he'd slowly befriended. If he turned his brain off like the alcohol allowed him to do, he could pretend that everything was fine, and he was just hanging out at a party with some friends, drinking just for fun and having a good time.

But then he was saying goodbye and heading back to his dorm, really _really _regretting forgetting his jacket at the frat house so many weeks ago. And _crap _he could have gotten it tonight but he forgot again. The alcohol made him forget his jacket more than it made him forget his problems.

When he got back to the dorm, Kurt was already lounging against the wall outside his room waiting.

"How did I know you'd go get drunk on Halloween?" Kurt asked, looking bored.

"Because you're a fucking genius. Move so I can unlock my door."

"The alcohol is obviously impairing your depth perception; I'm not even on the side of the door with the knob and lock."

Blaine rolled his eyes and thrust his key in the door, pushing the door open and leaving it for Kurt to follow him in. Kurt did so and closed the door behind him.

"So what is it tonight, Blaine? What are you going to tell me tonight? That I'm stupid, that I need to butt out of your life, that I care too much, that I don't know you at all, what? I'm ready. Go ahead and get on with it so we can get to the part where you're bawling in my arms."

"Oh, fuck you, Kurt," Blaine scoffed, throwing his keys on his desk and perching himself on the corner.

Kurt stood by the door and crossed his arms. "Yes, fuck me. I know. You say that every night."

"If you're just going to stand there and be a dick you can leave. I don't need you here."

"You do, though. That's the thing, Blaine. You do need me. You just don't like admitting that until that switch has flipped and you're at that point where you realize how mean you are when you're drunk and you suddenly hate yourself."

"If you know the routine so well why don't you just stay away, huh? Why deal with me at all if it's such a hassle?"

There was a part of Blaine that wasn't just asking that to be mean or out of spite; a part of him was _begging _him to answer the question because he honestly couldn't understand why someone would put up with him.

Kurt was silent before answering, and he and Blaine met eyes from across the room; something in Blaine's eyes must have given him away because Kurt whispered, "Because I love you." He hesitantly started taking steps towards Blaine. "I love you and I can't stand to see you hurting. So I do everything I can to stop it. But you're so insistent on destroying yourself that I'm beginning to wonder if there's anything more I can do."

He'd dropped his gaze to the floor, but as Kurt advanced toward him, he lifted his head to look into Kurt's eyes again. "Are you saying you're giving up on me?"

"I'm saying I don't know how much longer I can watch you give up on yourself."

If he was sober, this would be the part where he'd fall into Kurt's arms and let himself be held until he felt good again. If he was at the crying part of his drunken stupor, this would be the part where he'd fall to the floor and Kurt would catch him and pet his hair and try to quiet his cries as he wailed uncontrollably in his arms.

But Blaine was still angry drunk, so instead of that, he pushed past Kurt and stood in the middle of the room, throwing an arm up to gesture to the door. "Then there's the door, Kurt! No one's asking you to stay! You wanna leave? Fine! Go. See if I fucking care."

Kurt spun around and fixed Blaine with a glare. "You do care, Blaine. Stop trying to convince yourself that you don't. You care and you know it."

"You don't have any clue what I do and don't care about."

"You clearly don't care about me at all anymore!" Kurt shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

Blaine realized with a start that there were tears in Kurt's eyes. "Kurt, are you crying?"

"What do you expect me to do?" Kurt shrieked, wiping at his eyes, which only gave way to more tears. His face was getting red and he was beginning to breathe erratically. "You don't care about me at all, Blaine! Not even a little bit! If you did, you wouldn't keep doing this. Don't you care that it hurts me to see you do this to yourself every night? I have had to watch you kill yourself every night for over a week now—"

"Oh, I'm killing myself? That's rich, Kurt. You know who's _actually _dying? My brother. He's going to die before he's even had a chance to live."

"Yeah, and look at you! You have the opportunity to live a life that Alex might not get and you're wasting it. You're spending your time drinking yourself into this monster that no one wants to be around! Both of Scotty's parents are gone, my mom is gone, your brother might follow suit; you'd think that something like that would show you how precious life is, but instead, you're treating yours like it doesn't matter at all, like you don't even care if you live or die!"

"Maybe I don't!"

"Bullshit. You do care. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start being a role model for Alex. He needs a strong older brother right now to help him through this. He is a 3 year old little boy who is lost and scared and doesn't understand what's happening to him. The doctor can't exactly go tell him, 'There's a chance you might die today, so we're just going to shoot you with these drugs and put this stuff from Blaine's body into yours.' He won't understand, Blaine. And he needs someone to be there for him and help him through this."

"Yeah? What about me? Who's going to help _me _get through this?"

"_Me! _I have been trying to be there for you for _weeks, _you self-absorbed asshole!"

"Then why are you yelling at me right now?"

"Because it is _killing me _to watch you do this!" Kurt screamed, gasping for air. He was full on crying now, the point where Blaine was usually at at this point, but somehow Blaine was still dry-eyed. He just watched as his boyfriend's face flooded and he clenched his fists, his shoulders slumping in utter defeat at the situation. When he spoke again, it was much softer. "It is literally breaking my heart to watch you do this to yourself, Blaine. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep watching this. I love you and you don't even care and I can't put myself through this anymore."

"So what are you saying?" Blaine asked, his voice back to a normal volume.

The shouting had stopped, but Blaine could still feel their amplified words bouncing off the walls and attacking him, leaving bruises all over his body.

Kurt took a deep breath and tried to steady himself before answering. "I'm saying that I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't."

"You're breaking up with me."

The words were enough to split Blaine in half, but then Kurt nodded and repeated them. "I'm breaking up with you."

Still, the tears didn't fall.

They didn't fall as Kurt crossed the room, walking right past him without so much as a goodbye kiss.

They didn't fall as he opened the door.

They didn't fall as Kurt paused in the doorway and without turning back said to him, "If you can't stop drinking for me, do it for yourself."

They didn't fall as the door clicked shut with the finality of what had just happened.

They didn't fall as he changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed lazily, spent for the night.

They didn't even fall as he fell asleep, like they had every night for almost two weeks.

The tears waiting to come until the next morning, when Blaine awoke and looked around his room and instinctively just _knew _what had taken place less than 10 hours ago.

Then, he couldn't get them to stop.

**As promised, shorter than the previous chapter but longer than the one before that. I had originally planned to tack this whole thing on to the previous chapter, but it was too much, and this chapter just deserved to stand alone.**

**I am so sorry.**

**It's going to be okay, I promise. We'll get through this together.**


	28. Fall and Rise

**Okay. I know some of you are like super heartbroken from the last chapter. Don't worry, I am too. I hate to see our boys apart and hurting. And I also know it will be very hard for you guys to deal with this break-up and only seeing Blaine's side. I agree, Kurt's side would be really insightful and dynamic and great at this point. Unfortunately for the current situation, this is a totally Blaine-centric fic. So we're just going to have to tough it out with Blaine!**

**Please try not killing me! They'll be okay, I promise. :)**

_November 1, 2012_

There was nothing.

Without Kurt in his life, Blaine had nothing.

As soon as he woke up, he was aware of this. The absence of Kurt not just in his room but in his life struck him the moment his brain rejoined consciousness and the tears just automatically sprung to his eyes. He lay in bed for hours, clutching the Kurt Pillow, sobbing silently; he didn't allow himself the privilege to let out all of his anguish in cries of pain. No, he didn't deserve that. He deserved to suffer in silence, unable to fully express just how much he was hurting. He deserved to have it build up inside of him until it was too much to bear, and even then refuse to let it out because this was pain he needed to feel.

Hours later, when his face was red and swollen and his eyes stung with the amount of saltwater gushing out of them and his stomache hurt from clenching the muscles to keep him from screaming and it was hard to breathe, he fell asleep.

…

_November 4, 2012_

That was how Blaine spent the next 3 days. Occasionally, he'd get up to go to the bathroom, or eat a small snack, but he couldn't make himself eat too much. His body was too full with emptiness—it makes sense if you think about it. But for the most part, Blaine stayed in bed, crying on and off for hours at a time, like a sprinkler system in Texas during the summer.

He couldn't even bring himself to really think about what had happened. All he could do was stare at the wall, its empty white face, and see the way Kurt used to lean against it when they watched a movie together. Everywhere he looked, everything he saw, was the absence of Kurt.

But that was as far as the train of thought would go. He'd think of how Kurt was missing and then break down, and the crying would kick in, and he'd be so concentrated on not making a sound that there wasn't any room in his head for any other thoughts.

Of course that didn't mean Blaine completely forgot about Alex. Oh no, on the contrary, that was another thing he couldn't forget until the pain became too much to bear. So Blaine kept his cell phone by his head and made sure to check in with Dr. Pierson every day. He'd call right after a particularly bad crying fit so that his voice sounded the absolute worst, say he was too sick to come see Alex, but ask how he was doing just to be sure everything was going alright.

And at least in that one aspect, life was on Blaine's side, because the treatment had begun to show signs of working. This second shot at a bone marrow transplant and round of chemo and radiation was actually doing its job. The first time around, Alex had managed to keep his hair, which was virtually unheard of. This time, though, his curls were coming out more and more every day. Dr. Pierson was quick to assure Blaine that this was a good thing; that the treatment course was doing its job and this meant Alex had a real shot at being a normal, healthy child again.

That small glimmer of hope was the only reason Blaine even bothered waking up anymore.

At 11 o'clock at night, when Blaine was lying wide awake in bed having already slept most of the day anyway, Carter finally returned from California.

The key in the lock made Blaine flinch and the second he heard it, he turned so he was facing the wall, his back to the room. Hopefully Carter would just assume he was sleeping and leave him alone and Blaine could put off telling anyone about his and Kurt's break-up at least one more night.

Then again, when did Carter ever do what Blaine wanted?

"Blaine?" he whispered, flicking on a desk lamp. It was the first light that had been turned on since Kurt left, and even just its gentle reflection on the white walls had Blaine cringing. "You awake, man?"

He remained immobile, hoping that if he didn't move it would make Carter think he was still sleeping.

It didn't. "Dude, come on, I know you don't go to sleep this early."

Blaine grunted in response. Aside from the necessary phone calls to the doctor to ensure Alex's improving health, he didn't want to talk at all.

"I would have come sooner but Amanda needed me too and I couldn't leave her and her family. But I'm here for you now, B, so just talk to me. Tell me what happened."

He rolled over and raised an eyebrow suspiciously, because what Carter just said sounded a lot like he already knew what happened.

"Kurt called," Carter supplied. "He told me his side. Now I want to know yours."

Blaine just eyed Carter, staring at him hard, noticing the way his shoulders now slumped, the sad look in his eyes, just the way his whole demeanor seemed off. His time away from school with Amanda had not been a vacation; he was helping people to handle the death of a parent.

He wanted to ask, "What else did Kurt say?" but he couldn't even find himself to say the name aloud.

Luckily, Carter was the type of guy who could read your mind. He answered Blaine's silent question, "He called me relatively normal, told me what happened while I was gone, and then begged me for 10 minutes to come back early and make sure you were alright, breaking down and crying 2 minutes into that. He said he hadn't seen you in class and asked the professors of your other classes about you and they told him you'd been absent. At first he thought something had happened to Alex, but then he went by the Cancer Center and found out that Alex was finally starting to get better, so he knew it was just him.

"Look, the kid is obviously still in love with you if he went through all that trouble. He obviously cares about you if he begged me to leave my girlfriend whose dad just died to come take care of your sorry ass. So why don't you tell me what happened so I can hurry up and help you put your life back together so you can be someone who actually deserves the great thing you have in Kurt. Because you still have him, Blaine, whether he's physically here or not. He's not gone."

Blaine groaned. He was so, so against talking right now. All he wanted to do was go to sleep for real and escape to a dream world where bad things don't happen and everyone is a good person.

Because he wasn't. And he never would be. Carter was right in that Blaine needed to get his life together and be someone worthy of Kurt, but he'd never be that person. No matter how hard Blaine tried, Kurt would always be too good for him. And even if by some miracle he did become good enough, Carter was wrong in that Kurt was still here, because he wasn't. He _was _gone. He wasn't coming back.

Without a word, Blaine just rolled over and willed himself to go to sleep.

Eventually, an hour full of Carter silently unpacking later, he did.

The night was spent with him tossing and turning, drifting in and out of sleep, just like the past few nights. He was grateful that he'd spent so many days practicing how to cry without making a sound because now he was free to sob and weep and bawl all he wanted all night even though Carter was in the room because he didn't make any noise.

After several hours, Carter woke up. "You have to get up, Blaine."

Blaine didn't respond.

"You have classes to go to."

Still, Blaine didn't respond.

"Don't make me call your parents."

_Don't make me call your bluff_, he thought.

As if his parents would do anything anyway. They didn't care about him at all. In fact, if Carter called them and told them that he and his boyfriend had broken up, they'd probably be happy about it and congratulate him on finally joining normal society.

"Don't make me call Kurt."

Again, as if Kurt would do anything. Kurt was the one who had called Carter. Obviously, Kurt was trying to stay out of this directly. It wasn't Kurt's responsibility to take care of Blaine anymore. He was free. Why would he want to come back to that?

"Fine. Stay in bed and cry all day like you cried all night. Don't think because you're not making any noise I don't know that's what you're doing. But sooner or later you're going to have to face life for what it is and deal with it. You can't hide forever."

_Watch me._

…

_November 9, 2012_

Five more days passed, and still Blaine didn't move. His body was starting to get stiff, groaning in protest at certain positions he'd been in for too long. He liked it, though. It was more pain.

Pain was his new equilibrium.

Carter tried to make him go to class. He really did. He even physically pulled Blaine down from the bed on Wednesday, but Blaine just lay on the floor, silently refusing to move. Eventually, Carter gave up.

Blaine knew that would happen. It's what always happened in his life. Laurel never gave up, but Blaine left before she had the opportunity to. He figured that if he'd stayed there instead of going to college, she'd have given up on him by now too. She just wasn't aware of everything that went on in his life anymore so she didn't know that now was the time to get out while she had the chance. Save herself and her sanity before things got too intense for anyone to handle.

She probably didn't even know that he and Kurt had broken up. He sure didn't tell her. The only one he'd kept in contact with was Dr. Pierson, who was constantly delivering good news about Alex's recovery.

Interesting how that worked. Whenever he had something good in his life, the universe had to balance it out with something bad. When he was with Kurt, the universe pushed thoughts of Trevor back in, and re-introduced his parents, and opened up alcoholism. Now that Alex is improving, the universe took away Kurt. He could never just have something good in his life and keep it.

Because he didn't deserve it. This was what karma meant. He was an awful person, so he deserved awful things. That was what he had earned in his life. He hit people for fun, he drank so much that it hurt the people around him, and he didn't even care. He didn't even care that his drinking was hurting the person he cared the most about. He just kept on doing it because it was what he wanted to do. He had always thought that Kurt was the most important thing, and he would do anything to keep Kurt from hurting, but he was the one hurting Kurt the most.

And now he was doing it even worse than before.

He made himself sick.

…

_November 14, 2012_

Precisely 2 weeks had passed since That Day.

Call him naïve, but in the back of his mind, Blaine had kind of been hoping that despite what had happened, Kurt would be worried enough about his complete absence from life and come take care of him. It was only reasonable. Kurt, who claimed to love him unconditionally. Kurt, who claimed it was literally killing him to watch Blaine suffer so much. Kurt, who claimed that he would always be there for him, no matter what.

Obviously Blaine wasn't worth it.

Still, Carter continued to try to coax him out of bed. He told Blaine that he was being stupid and he needed to grow up and see that other people had real problems to worry about besides just breaking up with their boyfriends. But Carter just didn't understand. Kurt was Blaine's only saving grace. If he didn't have Kurt, he wasn't anything.

No. Blaine had to keep in mind that he had Alex. He still had Alex. Alex was steadily doing better, and asking for Blaine all the time. Dr. Pierson was urging Blaine to come by the Center if he was feeling so terrible, offering to check Blaine out for free, but Blaine refused; he said he'd dealt with this before and he'd be alright eventually. He just needed time to rest and recuperate and recover.

His parents hadn't stopped by. They probably gathered what had happened and were throwing a party, celebrating their son finally getting rid of that gay thing and returning to the other side. The normal side. The straight side.

Gross.

It was around noon that Blaine started hearing voices outside his door. Carter had left about 30 minutes ago to get some lunch, so he figured it was just Carter returning from that and running into someone he knew in the hall.

But then he heard it. The other voice.

It was _his._

_Kurt's._

Carter was saying, "Just go in and see him for yourself."

"I can't," Kurt replied. Blaine could hear the anguish in his voice and it was like a knife in his gut. He started tearing up at the pain. "You know I can't. But he's missed too much school at this point to catch up. He won't be able to finish out the semester. You have to try to get him to class."

"I've _been _trying, man. The kid lies in bed all day every day. I even physically dragged him down one day and he just lay on the floor instead. I can't get him to move. There's nothing I can do. He has to find the strength to do it himself."

Kurt's voice was smaller as he said, "He needs me. I shouldn't have left him like that…"

"Bullshit. You're a saint, Kurt. I would have left far earlier than you did. He doesn't need you; what he needs is to learn how to be his own person."

"He can't do it on his own—"

"He has to. He has to learn how to be an independent person."

"_He did! _He was alone for years, Carter, and then he finally got me and I left him."

"He pushed you away. There's a difference. Someone that self-destructive can't be saved by anyone but themselves. You did the right thing. You were enabling him."

"Is that something you learned from your psych major girlfriend?"

"That's beside the point. And she's not in school anymore. Look, you did the right thing by breaking up with him. He needs to get his shit together on his own. But if you want to know how he's doing so badly, just check and see for yourself and then leave."

"Do you think it would be a good idea?"

"That's up to you. But I'm going inside so if you want to come in instead of sit in the hall all day, by all means, follow me."

A key twisted in the doorknob lock and Blaine shut his eyes quickly, pretending to sleep. He heard Carter sigh and knew his roommate was rolling his eyes at him. "You're not fooling anyone, Blaine. You're awake and we know it. Dumbass."

"Don't be so rude," Blaine heard Kurt snap from the doorway. Still, he didn't open his eyes.

"It's fine. He hasn't spoken in weeks, so you can say whatever you want and he won't say anything."

If there was such a thing as hearing a heart break, Blaine was sure he just heard Kurt's. The sound made him open his eyes; he immediately found Kurt's blue ones as his Soulmate stood unsure in the doorway, staring at Blaine like he was one of those one-eyed, three-legged puppies in the ASPCA commercials.

"Hi," Kurt practically whispered. He took a few tentative steps in, toward the bed, and smiled softly for a moment. "Is that my pillow?"

It wasn't really his pillow, but yes, the pillow Blaine was cuddling was indeed the pillow Kurt always used to use when he slept over. Blaine turned red and uncurled himself from around the pillow, putting it back beside him where it went.

Kurt frowned. "You didn't have to do that."

Blaine shrugged as best he could in a fetal position. Now that he didn't have the pillow to hold onto, he felt vulnerable. And here Kurt was, standing in front of him. He could smell him, see him, hear his voice, remember what he tasted like when they kissed, reach out and touch him if he wanted.

No. He couldn't do that. He had to keep himself under control. Blaine was already working very hard to keep the tears threatening to spill over from coming out and there was no way he could keep that up if he moved or spoke at all.

Still, there were so many things he wanted to say.

_Where have you been?_

_Why did you leave me?_

_I'm sorry I wasn't good enough._

_Do you still love me?_

_Do we have a chance of being together again?_

_When will this awful breakup be over?_

_I just want to be with you._

_Please just kiss me._

_Tell me everything is going to be better again._

_I just want you again. I'll give up everything. I'll give up drinking, I'll do anything. I just want to hold you again and kiss you again and be with you and be loved by you and love you right. I just want you. I don't want anything else. The drinking doesn't matter. You're all that matters. You're the only thing that ever made me feel good, I see that now. Please give me the chance to show you._

Because that was what Blaine had _finally _figured out over these couple of weeks of lying in bed doing nothing but thinking. He'd realized that he had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him over something stupid. Alcohol wasn't doing anything for him but causing trouble and he should have seen that from the beginning. Maybe it wasn't even about the alcohol anymore after the first few times. It was more about the love he felt afterwards, when Kurt held him and rocked him and kissed him and loved him. Drinking was a way to get that intense affection from Kurt that he so longed for. But he didn't need alcohol to make Kurt love him, and he knew that now. It was a warped way of thinking, but it was all he could come up with for why he would be so _stupid._

All of this and more ran through Blaine's mind as he stared at his former lover right at his bedside now, wishing so badly to just tug him up with him and cuddle until dawn. But he didn't. He just stared at Kurt, mentally sighing because somehow Kurt had gotten even more beautiful since he'd last seen him.

Except for the dark circles under his eyes. Blaine could tell that Kurt had used concealer—which meant it was _really _bad—but the bags were still visible—which meant they were even _worse._ With a pang, Blaine was alerted to the toll their break up had taken on Kurt. Of _course _Kurt hadn't been sleeping; he couldn't make it through the night without Blaine there. That's why Kurt spent so many nights in Blaine's bed that he had his own _pillow _there. And now they were apart and Kurt wasn't sleeping.

Blaine wondered if Kurt's nightmares revolved more around him now than Kurt's mother.

"Blaine," Kurt murmured, reaching a hand out to touch Blaine's cheek but dropping it just before they made contact. "Please don't do this. You have to go to class. I've managed to tell your professors that things haven't been going well with Alex—even though they have, I've been by the Center a lot to make sure—but they can only excuse so long. You're going to flunk out if you don't go back _now _and play catch up over Thanksgiving break. You need this. Don't let what happened with us ruin your education."

Blaine almost scoffed. Oh big whoop. His education.

But Kurt was right. He needed to get his act back together or he'd never get Kurt back.

And that was his new plan. He had to get Kurt back. He had to fix what he broke and make everything good again. No one was going to do it for him this time. Laurel wasn't going to pick up the pieces this time. He had to do this on his own.

"I…" Kurt trailed off, looking like he was having a mental war over whether to say it or not. After a few moments, he continued, "I still care about you, Blaine. I don't want to see you throw your whole life away over something so stupid."

Without thinking, Blaine immediately replied, "It's not stupid."

His voice rasped with disuse, and Carter's head snapped around from where he was stationed at his own desk, doing homework.

"You got him to speak," Carter said, sounding astounded.

Kurt looked unfazed, though. He'd dealt with this once before, after he'd told Kurt all about the Trevor Incident and fell back into that place, feeling like he was that person.

But he refused to keep falling into that place and he refused to be that person anymore.

With a renewed sense of purpose, Blaine sat up.

Carter gasped. "He's sitting up."

Kurt smiled. "I knew you could do it. You just needed something to fight for."

Exactly. He needed something to fight for. And that was going to be Kurt. "I'm going to be good enough for you," Blaine said.

"I know," Kurt replied. "I can't wait to see it."

As Blaine made his way down the ladder of the bunk beds, Kurt headed towards the door and left without another word.

Blaine crossed the room to his closet and started digging through, looking for clean clothes to put on after he showered—his first shower in 3 days. Gross, yes. But at the time, he didn't care. Now he felt grimey and smelly and couldn't believe Kurt had stood so close to him.

"So that's it?" Carter asked. "Kurt comes in and you're suddenly better again? He might not always be there for you, Blaine. You guys could break up again and the next time it could be for good. You can't rely on him to fix everything for you every time."

"That's not what I'm doing," Blaine said distractedly, trying to find a good outfit. If he was going to win Kurt back, he had to look great at all times in case they ran into each other.

"Yes it is."

"Look," Blaine sighed, stopping in his search to look Carter in the eye as he said this, "Kurt is it for me. Okay? He's the one. He's my Amanda. You of all people understand that. I screwed it up, majorly, because my head got all screwed around. But I've figured it all out and I'm going to make it good again. I'm going to be the kind of person who deserves the great thing I have in Kurt, just like you said when you first got back."

"And what's to say this won't happen again? What if your head gets all screwed around again and you lose him again?"

"It won't; I won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because I won't let it!" He didn't mean to yell, but this was important. He needed Carter to understand, and if the way to do that was to scream so he had Carter's full attention that's what he would do. "I won't let this happen again. I'm learning from my mistakes, okay? I see what I did wrong. I won't do it again. I'll have those stupid Relationship Rules with Kurt that you have with Amanda. I won't drink again. I won't let myself get into this place or be that person. I'm going to fight it."

"And how are you going to do that?"

He took a deep breath and returned to looking for clothes, thinking. How would he do that? He began thinking out loud, listing things to Carter. "I'll start by calling Laurel. She hasn't heard from me in a while and she's been freaking out via texts. I'll tell her what happened and tell her to hold me accountable next time, to not be so scared that I'll do something drastic that she just lets me get away with anything. Then I'll go to each of my professors' offices and apologize for my prolonged absence and see if there's anything I can do to salvage this semester.

"Then I'll go to the Cancer Center for Alex. He's been asking for me and I haven't been there for him. The fact that he's finally getting better is great and he needs his big brother to be excited with and happy with. I want to read him story books and watch movies with him again. I miss him. I'll have to deal with my parents, too, because they'll be there, probably waiting with balloons and streamers to rejoice at my pain. But I don't care. I won't let them be such a big factor in my emotions anymore. I won't let anything control me but me.

"I can be better if I choose to be. I just have to try. I just have to try."

He trailed off as he found Kurt's shirt from so long ago that he said he would wash for him and hold until Kurt wanted it again, since it fell in the garbage. He never did wash it, and when he found it, he smiled and brought it to his face, inhaling Kurt's scent on it. It didn't even _smell _like garbage. Typical Kurt.

And, _God,_ had he missed that.

He would get it back soon enough.

"If you're only doing this for Kurt—"

"I'm not," Blaine cut in. His tone wasn't biting or harsh, though. It was firm, but not in an aggressive way. "I'm doing it for myself, too. I don't want to be this person anymore. Part of the reason I was drinking was to escape myself. I didn't realize that if I hated myself so badly, I could have just changed the bad parts of me. But that's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to become the person _I _want to be."

Finally Blaine selected a dark-wash pair of jeans and a white button up with a grey and black striped cardigan, setting the outfit on his bed to go take a shower.

When he glanced over at his roommate, he was surprised to see Carter smiling.

"What? No more arguing or challenging me?" Blaine asked.

Carter just shook his head. "I was only challenging you to get you to challenge yourself. Now…Now I'm going to help you."

"I appreciate that, Carter, I do. But I don't want your help. This is something I need to do on my own."

If possible, Carter's grin just widened. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear, B. Good job."

Blaine looked forward to the moment where it was _Kurt _telling him "Good job." With any luck, it wouldn't be too much longer.

He wasted too much time wallowing in his own self-pity.

Now…shit was about to get real.

No more Wallowing Blaine. No more Drunk Blaine. No more Self-Hating Blaine. No more Destructive Blaine. No more Vicious Blaine. No more Mean Blaine. No more Depressed Blaine. No more Silent Blaine.

No more.

It was enough.

With a laugh, Blaine was reminded of a Disney song.

_You're the saddest bunch I ever met_

_But you can bet before we're through_

_Mister, I'll make a man out of you_

**WEEEE! I ended on a happy note! Which was not originally planned…OH WELL! :D Hahaha. I just wanted things to be better. Blaine's had enough angst, don't you think? It's about time we turned this thing around and gave Blainers a break. **

**The great thing is that **_**he's **_**the one giving himself a break now. **

**I'm so proud of him! :D**

**Sorry for the short length. I just wanted to post something since it's been a while and I left you guys in a vulnerable and sad position with the break up. But don't worry. We're going to fix this. **

**Also, I'm aware it seems too soon for this since December 1****st**** still has Blaine heartbroken, but don't worry, his road to improving himself and getting Kurt back can't be all rainbows and sunshine. And Kurt isn't going to just let him back in. Not after the way Blaine hurt him. It will all make sense in the end, lovelies, I promise. :)**

**Reviews are just SO so nice!**


	29. Surprise

**So I'm out of the pre-thought of chapters but this idea came to me in the cafeteria and I was just thinking, Man, I miss Laurel; I wonder if anyone else misses Laurel. So I decided to bring her back into the picture, along with other characters we all know and love and haven't seen in a while!**

**Also, I just want you guys to know I really appreciate you. Every single one of you, whether you review or not, I just want to say thank you for reading my story and taking this AU journey with me. And those who do review thank you twice because you don't even know how much those reviews mean to me. So thank you. :)**

_November 17, 2012_

Unfortunately, although calling Laurel was of top priority in Blaine's mind once he'd been drug out of his depression by Kurt, he hadn't had the chance all week. He'd been busy trying to get all of his make-up work from professors, spinning lies about how Alex's health was declining fast but he prayed and so Alex was actually getting better now—(not entirely untruthful)—so he would be allowed to make it up and hopefully finish out the semester with at least a straight C-average. All of his professors complied with the exception of one—History—but he'd gotten the notes from a friend in the class and was slowly catching up, cramming for their next test just before Thanksgiving break.

Which, incidentally, started yesterday afternoon when he'd finished with classes. He had the weekend, the week, and the following weekend to be off. His plane for home left tomorrow, but before he headed home, he had something important to take care of.

He needed to talk to Laurel.

So after Blaine finished packing his bags, he sat down at his computer, sent a quick text to Laurel to sign on Skype, signed on himself, and waited for her to show up as signed on. When she did, he immediately hit the "video call" button.

She answered almost instantly. "Blaine!"

Sometimes Blaine forgot how much he missed his older cousin, especially recently. "Hey, Laurel," he smiled, happy that modern technology allowed him to see her face as they spoke.

"You have some serious explaining to do," she said sternly; he could read on her face, though, that she was more worried than anything.

"I'm fine," Blaine reassured her. "Well, now I am. Things, uh…they haven't exactly been great recently." 

"That better come with elaboration. You had me worried sick, you know. But Kurt kept in touch with me and made sure I didn't fly out there and jeopardize my job."

Wait, what?

"Kurt did what?"

"He called me almost every day with updates about Alex and you, although I admit his information on you was vague. Just that you were taking things hard but you'd be better soon. What was he talking about, Blaine? He told me Alex was doing just fine, great even. What were you taking hard? I assumed it was Dick and Aunt Charlotte but I wasn't sure. Is that what it was?"

"No," he said softly. Honestly, he was thrown off by the fact that Kurt kept in contact with Laurel after they broke up. So while they weren't together, Kurt was still visiting Alex frequently and calling Laurel. What did that mean for everyone else in his life? Did Kurt meet up with Carter for lunch every day? Did he call Wes and David too?

"Then what was it?"

Blaine took a deep breath, preparing himself for Laurel's impending overreaction. "Kurt and I broke up."

He shut his eyes and waited for it; waited for Laurel's shocked gasp, her following rant, her lecture, anything. But nothing came. All that was coming from his computer was silence. He had to peek to see that the call hadn't been dropped, but it hadn't; there was Laurel, sitting on the couch, her face just…sad.

"You're not going to say 'I told you so'?"

Laurel shook her head. "Why would I do that?"

"You've been telling me that Kurt and I were destined to break up ever since we got together. This was always the outcome you told me about. You're not going to throw that in my face?"

"Not when I can tell you've been hurting. That explains why I heard from Kurt and not you. He said your phone wasn't working but I didn't believe him. What happened?"

This is where things got kind of tricky, because in order to tell Laurel what happened, he'd have to tell her how he'd broken his implied promise to her.

"Laurel…I broke my promise to you. I didn't stop drinking. I…I just got worse. I got drunk that night, and every night after that for more than a week before Kurt finally got fed up and just said he couldn't do it anymore. He said…He said he couldn't watch me destroy myself anymore. It hurt him too much. And it showed that I didn't care about him at all because if I did I wouldn't put him through that. So he broke up with me."

As he explained what happened, he tried to avoid her gaze, but now he finally chanced a glance up at the computer screen to see her nearly on the verge of tears.

"Oh, Blaine."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really, truly am. I know it's bad. I just…I didn't know what else to do, Laur. But I promise I'm trying to change. And that's serious this time. I…I stopped going to class after it happened. You know how I get and I just…I couldn't deal with life, you know? Without Kurt everything just seemed so pointless. It was worse than after Trevor, Laurel. That's how bad it got…But all that time just thinking made me realize how stupid I was being and that I need to be better for Kurt. I'm really going to change. I hated myself, and if I drank, I could forget how much I hated myself, and then Kurt would always hold me and kiss me after and tell me how much he loved me and how good I was and I lived for those moments, you know? Those moments were great because even though I was a drunk, sobbing mess, I had someone holding me and telling me it was alright.

"But I realized that I can't live that way. And if I hate myself so much, I should just change the parts that I hate. I know that's something I should have figured out a long time ago, but let's face it; I'm slow to catch on to things sometimes."

His cousin sighed but a slight smile graced her features. "Yes, I guess that's true. For the first year you were with me, you kept thinking _I _was going to kick you out too. It took you that whole year to catch on that I loved you."

"But I came around eventually, right?" Blaine teased, returning the smile.

He was surprised at how easy it was to fall into this comfortable banter.

Blaine had lost his way. That was irrefutable. He got lost in his own life and didn't know how to handle things; before he even knew what was happening, everything just spiraled out of control. It was understandable given the circumstances, but not excusable. He had a lot to make up for, but this is where he had to start; with Laurel.

"It's taken me a while to get to this point," Blaine started, getting back to the more serious heart of their conversation. "And I'm only just starting on my road to get better. It's not going to be easy, and I'll relapse a lot and stumble a lot and make so many more mistakes. But the difference is that now I'll pick myself back up. You have to hit rock bottom before you can start your way back up to the top, right? Well that's where I am. I've hit rock bottom. Losing Kurt…that's my rock bottom. Now I'm starting on my way to go back up and be someone good enough for him.

"And before you say that I already am good enough just for being me, don't, Laurel. Because that's not true, you and I both know that. Who I am right now…I'm not capable of loving anyone properly until I learn to love myself. Kurt deserves someone who can love him the way he loves. That's just not me right now. It will be soon, but it's not right now. It may have taken me a while to get to that conclusion, but I finally made it here, and I'm not stopping until I have him back."

"What can I do to help?" Laurel asked, smile still in place.

Blaine smiled back and shook his head. "Nothing. This is something I have to do on my own. But I appreciate that, Laur. All I want you to do is make sure you're ready for me to crash your party tomorrow for my week-long Thanksgiving break."

"Oh, I am more than ready. I've missed you, Blainers. It'll be nice to have you home."

"Yeah," Blaine echoed, "home."

God, he missed being home.

While his conversation with Laurel was nice, he had other things to take care of as well. He still needed to see Alex one more time before heading home for the entire week.

Which inherently meant seeing his parents also. No matter how much he avoided them, it was something he'd be willing to endure to see his baby brother.

"You okay?" Laurel asked, bringing Blaine back.

"Yeah," he said quickly, flashing her a smile. "Sorry. I was just thinking about Alex. Listen, I haven't seen him since Kurt and I broke up, so I've got to get over there before I leave. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure, of course. I love you, Blainers."

"I love you too, Laur."

Blaine caught one more flash of Laurel's blonde hair before hitting the "end call" button on his Skype window and shutting his laptop. If he was going to see Alex, he wanted to spend as much time with him as he could, so he needed to leave now.

All he had to do was grab the new coat that had mysteriously ended up outside his door one day but looked suspiciously like something Kurt might pick out for him—(Carter must have told Kurt about the lost jacket)—and head out. Since Carter had left yesterday for Amanda's house out in California, Blaine didn't have to worry about notifying his roommate of his whereabouts this time.

Just as he was heading out into the cold November air, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_Wes Calling_

With a smile, he answered. "Well hello, Wesley. I was just going to be calling you today."

"Really? After nearly a month of no contact you randomly decided to call me today? Or are you just saying that to placate me since I'm calling you right now?" Crap. Wes was pissed. Within reason, but it still stung to hear that tone of voice.

Blaine sighed. "A lot has been going on, man. I'm sorry."

"So I heard. Your boyfriend keeps in touch with David and I better than you do, you know."

Aha. Blaine was right; Kurt _had _called Wes and David post-breakup.

"Did he fill you in on what's been happening?"

"Kind of. He gave us vague details that David and I had to compare notes on to ensure that he wasn't lying."

"And what was the verdict?"

"All truthful, but vague nonetheless, so why don't _you _fill me in on what's been happening before I fly from my coast to yours to put all the pieces together myself?"

"Aren't you home for Thanksgiving break anyway?"

"David and I have an apartment off-campus. We stay for short holidays like Thanksgiving. That's beside the point, Blaine. What happened?"

Wes was serious, and that was how Blaine knew this was bad. Because Wes was only serious when it was something he was really, genuinely concerned about. The reason the Warblers all perceived him as the super-serious head council member during his time at Dalton was because Wes cared about the Warblers so much that he wanted to see them succeed at everything they did. He sincerely worried over their successes and failures because he believed in the group and what they did and what they stood for.

Shivering against the cold and snow that had begun to fall, Blaine hugged his coat around himself but continued walking to the Cancer Center as he spoke. "It's a long story but I don't have much time to fill you in. Bottom line: I've been drinking. A lot."

"Blaine—"

"I know. Just listen. I told you when Alex first got sick and my parents came back, and I was helping him with his treatment by being his donor. All of that was going okay for a while. My parents and I had come to some unspoken truce that we were only working together for Alex's sake to make him better, but once he was healthy again they'd be gone. I was okay with that, you know? But then Alex's treatment wasn't working, and my dad…my fucking dad was just…you've heard how he can get. You know the story of how I ended up at Laurel's. You've seen or heard about all of that ugly and it just all started coming back and I couldn't handle it. So I coped the only way I knew how.

"I drank. It wasn't all the time at first, just occasionally, when stuff started blowing up. I'd wait for a frat party and crash it through a friend who's in the fraternity, get wasted on their free alcohol, and leave. But then…I started taking matters into my own hands. I started getting impatient waiting for frat parties and just went and bought my own liquor with my fake ID and drank on the street."

Wes exhaled on the other end. "Shit, Blaine. You got that bad?"

"Yeah," Blaine answered, shutting his eyes briefly at a crosswalk.

"I've never seen you that bad."

"I know. I'd never seen me that bad either. But I was that bad. And it only got worse. It was every night that I'd go and get drunk. Kurt took care of me every night, but it started to be more out of obligation than anything. He cares about me, but that's not easy to do all the time; pick up the shattered pieces of your boyfriend every damn night for weeks…I put him through hell. And he'd had enough."

"No," Wes breathed, and Blaine could tell that his friend was in just as much denial at the situation as Blaine was when it first happened.

"Yes. Kurt and I broke up."

"When was this?"

"Halloween."

"That's just not a good holiday for you is it?"

"I guess not. Anyway, after we broke up, you can imagine what happened…I did that thing where I go mute and hide away and shut out the entire world. I spent two weeks in bed. Literally. I didn't go to class, I didn't go see Alex; the only place I went was the bathroom. The only reason I ate was because Carter kept our grocery supply stocked enough to sustain me."

"He's a good roommate."

"The best. That's why you haven't heard from me in weeks. I kind of…died. In a sense." Blaine looked around and realized that he was about to walk into the Cancer Center. "Hey, Wes, I'm really sorry I've been shutting you out, but I'm about to visit Alex, so can we continue this later?"

"Are you asking or telling me?"

"Telling. We'll continue this later."

"Good answer. I'll have David later as well. He's had the browser window open on his computer to buy airline tickets to New York for a week now, ready to go at any moment."

How had it taken Blaine this long to realize how lucky he was to have friends like them?

"You know, I may call you guys Dumb and Dumber, but I do love you."

"We love you too, man. Call me back later."

"I will."

Just as he rounded the corner for Alex's hall, Blaine ended the call. Perfect timing, too, since his parents were in the hall talking to Dr. Pierson. The conversation screeched to a halt the second his father—both eyes now looking healthy again—noticed him coming and glared. Charlotte followed suit, and Dr. Pierson turned kind eyes on him, the only in the bunch.

"Where the hell have you been?" his father grunted.

"That stopped being your business when you signed papers legally releasing you of your parental duties to me, as you so love to remind me," Blaine returned, matching his father's cold tone.

Dr. Pierson cleared his throat. "Good to see you again, Blaine. I hope you're feeling better."

"Much, thank you."

"Kurt has been here often to reassure Alex that you would be coming soon, but I think he lost hope about a week ago. He's awake now, if you'd like to go ahead in and make his day."

Blaine smiled gratefully at Dr. Pierson. "I'd love to. Before I do, though, what were you three discussing as I showed up?"

"It's about Alex, Blaine. It doesn't concern you," Charlotte snapped.

"Really?" Blaine scoffed. "I only donated my bone marrow through an extremely painful procedure—_twice_—but no, Mom, you're right. It probably doesn't concern me at all."

Unbelievable. After everything he'd done for them, despite all they'd done _to _him, his parents were shutting him out against his own brother. What would happen when Alex was in remission for good and could go home again? How long would it be until he could see his brother again? Months? Years? Would Alex even remember him the next time they saw each other?

"Well," Dr. Pierson said, giving Blaine a pointed look and shutting his chart, "I have other patients to attend to. But just so we're clear, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, I was saying that Alex's numbers have been looking incredibly good these past few days. It's highly probable that your youngest son is going into remission and will be ready to go home soon. I'll be by later this evening for one final round before I head home for the night."

As he watched the doctor wink at him and walk down the hall, Blaine thought of not for the first time how much he loved Dr. Pierson. So, so much.

With one final glare at his parents, Blaine headed inside the room.

The look on Alex's face to see him was well worth anything the world could throw at him.

"B'aine!" Alex shouted, nearly jumping out of bed.

"Whoa, buddy, how about I come to you?" Blaine laughed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge.

Alex immediately threw himself into Blaine's arms. "Where did you go, B'ainey?"

B'ainey. That was a new one. Laurel would be thrilled to hear it.

"I was sick," Blaine answered, giving Alex one final squeeze before letting go and settling Alex back down.

It was evident in the boy's face just how much better he was doing. The first time Blaine came to visit him, he was so pale and small, his breathing ragged and his eyes so tired. Now, Alex looked full of life. He had more color in his cheeks, a little more meat on his bones, and his breathing was great taking into consideration that he was excited at the moment.

"Like how I'm sick?"

"Not quite. How have you been, little man?"

"The doctor says I'm gettin' better!" Alex beamed, looking so proud of himself.

As he should be. The kid fought hard for his health. "That's good, Alex. Good job! I'm so proud of you."

If Alex was going to be stuck with Richard and Charlotte Anderson, he needed to hear that someone was proud of him as much as he could now.

"I don't have hair to play wif anymore," he said sadly, touching his head.

Blaine winced at the fuzzy blackness on Alex's head now, replacing the voluminous curls that were there before.

"That's okay, I can still do somethin' for you. How about I scratch your back? Sound good?"

"Yeah!"

Alex crawled to the foot of the bed to allow Blaine space to fully lie on the bed, then settled into his big brother's lap in their usual position.

For the next few hours, Alex and Blaine watched some cartoons while Blaine scratched Alex's back and arms, relishing in his time together with his brother. Their parents must have gone back to the condo to avoid being in the same room with Blaine, which was fine by him. The less he saw of them during his alcoholism recovery the better.

He asked Alex about Kurt and found out that Kurt had been checking up on him whenever the Andersons weren't there. It made Blaine smile to know that Kurt had been so concerned for Alex that he'd worked out the Andersons schedule just to sneak in and see Alex. It also made him smile to know that Dr. Pierson looked the other way as someone who wasn't family visited Alex because he knew Kurt and his connection to Blaine.

But that was something to focus on later, when he was in the dark place and needed happy things to consume his mind. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy what could potentially be his last few hours with his baby brother before his parents disappeared again, this time taking his brother with them.

…

_November 18, 2012_

It only took Blaine about 10 seconds after he stepped off of the plane before he spotted Laurel's little blonde head, standing at the wrong gate, looking for him. Laughing to himself, he walked over to the gate she was waiting at, tip-toed up behind her, and leaned into her ear to say, "Looking for someone?"

Laurel jumped and gasped, then turned around and slapped Blaine's arm. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I hope not literally."

Instead of coming up with a witty retort, his cousin just grinned and threw her arms around him, holding him tight. It felt so nice to be hugged by Laurel again. Granted, he'd seen her for a short while in New York about a month ago, but that was nothing compared to knowing he had the week with her.

"I'm not even going to tell you how stupid you are because I'm just glad you're good enough to joke with me again," she said into his chest.

"You weren't even there to see me when I wasn't good."

"Sometimes silence speaks louder than words."

That was definitely true.

Blaine pulled away from Laurel with a watery smile. "Ready to go home?"

"More than ready."

They headed to baggage claim to get Blaine's suitcase, grabbed a quick lunch in one of the restaurants in the airport, and drove home. Blaine had almost forgotten how much his cousin meant to him in their time apart, but now that he was with her again and they had the opportunity to talk and joke and have fun and just enjoy each other's presence again, he was reminded of the very beginning of their friendship before he came out to his parents.

Their relationship had been great in those first couple of years, with Blaine texting her and calling her whenever he just needed someone. They had this habit of snapping random pictures of themselves and whatever they were doing and sending them to the other, that way it was almost like they were sharing their day together. He'd always wanted an older sibling to be close to, and although now he _was _that older sibling to Alex, he would never have that older brother or sister himself; but Laurel was even better.

After his parents kicked him out, everything he believed about love and relationships shattered. If love was supposed to be unconditional, why did his parents' love for him hinge on who he fell in love with? Parents were supposed to love you no matter what. If his own parents claimed to love him then left him, then surely no one else would stay. "I love you" turned from a promise of forever to a promise of abandonment. In Blaine's warped adolescent mind, the second someone told him they loved him, it sealed the deal that one day, they'd leave. And he would be alone, waiting for the next person to hold him then leave him in the dust.

That's why it took him a year of being with Laurel to realize that she wouldn't abandon him; kick him out on the street and leave him to fend for himself. She would be there for him for forever, really and truly. Laurel was his only constant.

"Blaine?"

He was pulled from his thoughts on the drive home when Laurel called his name, catching his attention. They were pulling into their driveway, and there was a figure on their doorstep.

"Yes?"

"Do you know that kid?"

Blaine squinted, trying to figure out who that was. He'd never seen him before in his life, but the kid was sitting on a suitcase, which means he'd been prepared to stay with Blaine for an extended period of time. Which meant they must know each other. Right?

"I'm not sure," he said, getting out of the car. Cautiously, he walked towards the guy—who looked about high school age—and gave a little wave. "Hi, there."

The boy stood up, looking startled. "Umm…"

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Blaine asked.

"Your voice sounds different on the phone than in person," the kid said.

With that one sentence, Blaine instinctively knew who this kid was. "Scotty?"

"Yeah," Scotty said, nodding. "Yeah, hey. I'm sorry, I just—"

"What are you doing here?" His tone wasn't harsh, but more out of concern. Scotty was supposed to be in California.

"Blaine?" Laurel said, bringing his suitcase with her to the door. "Do you know this kid?"

"Yeah, this is Scotty, my roommate's girlfriend's brother. Who's supposed to be in California right now. Does Amanda know you're here?" Blaine questioned, redirecting his attention back to Scotty.

Scotty shook his head, and Blaine could see now that he'd been crying.

Laurel held up her keys. "Okay, how about this? Let's go inside and we can all talk and figure out what's going on with some ice cream. Sound good?"

"Sure," Blaine nodded, seeing Scotty's hesitant expression.

It was clear that Scotty was in a very similar place to where Blaine was when he was his age. Blaine's heart broke a little bit as he took Scotty's suitcase along with his own and rolled them both inside with him. Laurel headed straight for the kitchen but Blaine started for his room to put the luggage down. He looked behind him to see Scotty standing in the doorway, looking unsure.

"Do you want to come to my room?" Blaine asked him.

Scotty looked up like he didn't realize he'd been spoken to but nodded, so Blaine cocked his head in the direction of his room as a gesture for Scotty to follow. They headed down the hall and when Blaine opened the door to his room, he was almost shocked to see it the exact same way he left it. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it was strange to be in his room that he hadn't seen in months and have it be the same as when he'd left.

He set the two suitcases down and flopped onto his bed on his back, shutting his eyes and sighing. God, he'd missed his own bed instead of that stiff dorm mattress. When he opened his eyes he remembered that Scotty was here.

"You can sit down or something, buddy. You don't have to stay standing like that."

Scotty only shrugged and kicked the carpet. Not good. Blaine refused to let what happened to him happen to Scotty. He had to get the kid talking again.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"You mean besides my mom dying and then my dad and being left with no one and having to deal with everyone at school harassing me on a daily basis with no sympathy for my family falling apart?"

Blaine winced. He'd wanted Scotty to talk, though, so this was progress.

"I'm sorry about your dad. Your mom too, but your dad was more recent, so I'm more sorry about that."

"That's all anyone seems to be saying to me these days. Unless you're the one that gave him lung cancer and killed him, I don't see any reason for you to be sorry," Scotty said, lying on his back beside Blaine.

He sighed, and just as he was about to say something, his phone began vibrating in his pocked. He caught Carter's name on the ID and immediately answered. "He's with me. He's safe."

Carter exhaled with relief on the other end of the line. "Oh, thank God. I was going to ask if you'd heard from him."

"Yeah, I just got home to find him sitting on my doorstep."

"Damn it, Scotty. Amanda has been losing her shit for hours looking for him."

"You want to talk to him?" Blaine asked, glancing over at Scotty. The boy beside him began fiercely shaking his head, eyes wide. "Actually, he's in the bathroom. I'll have him call Amanda later though. Just let her know he's safe with me."

"Thank you, man."

"Not a problem. We'll figure it all out tonight."

"Yeah. Bye."

Blaine hung up, tossing his phone at the pillows above his head. "Want to tell me now?"

"I just couldn't take it anymore," Scotty whispered. "Everyone was always crying. Thomas just shut himself in Dad's room and cried all day while Amelia ran all over the house calling out for him, like it was some stupid game of hide and seek. And Amanda kept trying to micro-manage everything. I know it's hard for her now that she has to take care of all of us, but she just runs around keeping herself busy with chores and never slowing down. First it was for the funeral, then it was for all the stuff in the will or whatever, now she's just being…like Mom. She does the grocery shopping and the cooking and the cleaning and takes us to school and picks us up. It's weird. She's supposed to be my older sister, not my mother. And she keeps a smile on all day long, but I can hear her crying at night.

"Carter being there helped a little bit, but he just had that pitying expression on and kept trying to get me to talk to him about everything, discuss how I feel or whatever. I don't want to talk about how I feel. I just want to mourn my dad on my own. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand? Then at school, everyone heard, but no one cares. Before I was one of those gay kids, which was alright because at least then I had all the other gay kids to identify with and hang out with, but now I'm that gay orphan. I'm in a group all by myself and no one really knows what to do or say. My friends are awkward around me now, so they've been pulling away, which leaves me wide open for all the homophobes to swoop in."

"What are they doing to you?" Blaine inquired hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

Scotty took a deep, shuddery breath; he was about to cry, and Blaine could tell. But that knowledge didn't prepare him for the quiver in Scotty's voice when he spoke. "They say stuff like the gay in me is an epidemic killing my family and it's only a matter of time before I die too. They…they keep telling me I might as well just kill myself now to save my brother and sisters while I still can."

"Fuck," Blaine breathed. "I thought San Francisco was supposed to be the gay capitol of the world, safe for you."

"So did I. I guess I found the one high school in San Francisco that isn't gay-friendly."

Blaine jumped when Laurel shouted, _"Ice cream, boys!"_ but didn't move other than that. He knew Laurel deserved an explanation, but Scotty was now actually crying, not just having a couple tears. Blaine wanted to hold him the way Kurt always held him when he cried, but he knew that wouldn't help; he wouldn't be as good at it as Kurt was.

"Be right there!" Blaine called back, just so Laurel knew he wasn't ignoring her. She probably understood they needed a second.

Then the thought occurred to him: if he couldn't be like Kurt, why not just bring in the real thing?

"Scotty, I'm going to go get our ice cream really quickly and be right back, okay?"

His face was covered with his hands, probably embarrassed to be crying, but Scotty nodded so Blaine headed out. His cell phone was still on the bed, but he could use the landline phone in the kitchen. He went straight for the phone, bypassing Laurel and the ice cream at the table completely.

Laurel stared at him. "Who are you calling?"

"Kurt," he answered, dialing the number he knew by heart.

"Are you sure you should be calling him? I mean you two…"

"I know. We broke up. But Scotty needs him."

He waited a ring, two rings, three rings— "Hello?"

"Kurt?"

Kurt's voice sounded surprised. "Blaine? What happened?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, knowing Kurt probably assumed it was something bad with him. "I mean, something, but it's not about me. It's about Scotty."

"Scotty? Amanda's brother?"

"Yeah. He's here. I don't know how he got out here, but he's here and he's crying and I don't know how to fix it but you're really good at putting me back together so I just figured—"

"Yes, I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Blaine let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Really?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

"See you soon, Blaine."

"Bye, Kurt."

It was weird having a conversation with Kurt that didn't end in "I love you," but he'd have to get used to it for now. He hung up the phone and faced Laurel. "Sorry. You know my roommate, Carter. His girlfriend, Amanda, has 3 younger siblings and one of them is Scotty. Their mom died 6 years ago and now their father just died a few weeks ago. He gets bullied at school a lot, too, and just having that piled on with his dad dying has been hard. He lives in California, I'm not sure how he got here, but he just needed someone to be there for him aside from the shaky family he has now."

Laurel pursed her lips but stood up, grabbing two of the bowls of ice cream from the table and offering them to Blaine. "Is he gay?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I just wanted to know. Here's the ice cream."

Blaine took the proffered bowls but stayed standing there, looking into his cousin's eyes. "Thank you, Laurel. Really. I promise I'll explain everything in a way that makes sense later, but for now, thank you."

"You're welcome."

He went back to his room and found Scotty now sitting up, tears wiped away. He held out a bowl of ice cream to him, which Scotty accepted, but other than that said nothing. They ate in silence, then set their bowls down and remained quiet, neither really knowing what to say to the other.

After a while, Blaine heard a knock on the door, and Laurel opening it, and voices. Except there were too many voices for it to be just Kurt, and one of them was really low. Who else did Kurt bring?

Blaine got his answer when both Kurt and Burt Hummel came into his room. He hastily stood up from the bed. "Hello, Mr. Hummel. Hi, Kurt."

Seeing Kurt again gave him a physical pain in his chest, but he'd revisit that later. Right now he was intimidated by his ex-boyfriend's father—who had become like a father figure to him—standing in his room.

"Blaine, why don't you let Kurt and Scotty talk alone, and you and I can have a chat in the hall?"

He gulped. That did not sound good. But who was he to argue with Burt Hummel? So with one last long look at Kurt, he followed Burt in to the hall and shut the door behind them. "Yes sir?" 

"I told you if you ever hurt my son, I'd hunt you down. That's what I'm doin' now."

Shit. This is not how Blaine pictured he would die. "Mr. Hummel—"

"I think we're at the point of first-name basis by now, don't you?"

Blaine nodded, because he was too afraid to say anything in contrary to anything the man before him said. "Burt—"

"Tell me everything." The tone of Burt's voice in that moment made Blaine do a double take. Surely, he'd heard wrong, because it sounded to him like Burt's voice was more tender than stern.

"I'm sorry?"

"I want to know everything. Kurt is the master of making you think you know everything when really he's told you absolutely nothing. So I have no way of knowin' if I've got the story straight or not unless I ask you. 'Cause I know you'd never lie to me, would ya?"

"No, sir. I wouldn't."

"Good. So tell me what's been goin' on."

Blaine took a deep breath. Honestly, he was getting kind of tired of explaining this to everyone all the time. How many more times would he have to tell this story? Regardless, he dove in, explaining everything to this man that had become more of a father to him in a day than his biological father was to him in years. He was careful not to leave anything out, even if there was a chance Burt had already heard it, because there was also the chance he hadn't. So he told him all about Alex getting sick, and his parents using him as the donor, and his drinking getting worse and worse and then worst, and the broken shell of a person that he'd become, and the way Kurt stuck through it all even when he really should have left so much sooner. And he told him about the one night when, after everything, it was just too much, and Kurt couldn't put himself through it anymore, so he left.

It was funny, Blaine had regaled this story many times, but up until now he'd never really realized the weight of the situation. Kurt left. He was gone. They'd broken up. They weren't together anymore. To Blaine's mind, he and Soulmate were destined to be together forever, so he'd never really thought about this as anything more than a short separation until he got his shit together; but now, telling Kurt's dad, it seemed more real, more likely that maybe he'd been wrong, and maybe the universe really didn't want he and Kurt together. Maybe they'd been brought together for just one epic love, and now Blaine had screwed that up, and he'd lost it forever.

He didn't realize that he'd started thinking out loud, or that he'd started crying at the thought of losing Kurt forever, until he felt Burt clap a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Burt frowning at him.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, Blaine; you're family. I love you, Carole loves you, even Finn loves you, and despite everything, my son still loves you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I haven't seen Kurt cry over losing someone like that since he lost his mother. And you're still here for him to go back to." He had to break eye contact at that, because hearing it made that pain in his chest return. "But now that I've heard everything, I have a feeling he's been crying more for you than for the loss of you."

Blaine opened his mouth to ask what that meant, but closed it again, because he knew exactly what that meant. Kurt told him what that meant on That Day. He'd said that it killed him to see Blaine do that to himself, it was hurting him to see how much Blaine was hurting himself. Kurt was crying not only because he and Blaine weren't together anymore and he missed him, but because Blaine had been suffering and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

He thought back to the time when he could see his own hurt reflected in Kurt's eyes, after he saw his parents at the grocery store. He could tell that it was hurting Kurt to see Blaine hurting, that they really did share everything, the good and the bad. On that day, Kurt had been in pain because Blaine was in pain. Blaine never thought about that after that day, how his actions of hurting himself would hurt Kurt as well, just because they were that connected.

"I'm sorry I've put your son through so much, Burt. I'm working on making it better. I promise. I'm working on being good enough for him."

"He told me that much. I think he was more worried about defending you than anything when he was telling me you two ended things. He was concerned I'd bring my shotgun when we came here today."

In spite of the situation, Blaine laughed. "Yeah, I was a little terrified when I saw you here, too."

Before he knew what was happening, he felt himself being tugged into an embrace. "You're my son, too, you know. I care about your well-being just as much as I care about Kurt's. You may have hurt Kurt, but you were hurting yourself too, and I'm more upset with you about that."

That pain surged in his chest again, and he almost flinched when he realized it was psychological. His chest was aching because his heart was broken.

"Before the new year comes around, I promise to you, I'll be good enough for your son. I'll be worthy of the love he gives me, and I'll be able to give it back just as much."

"I'll remember that promise for December 31st."

"I'm counting on it."

When they pulled away, Blaine wiped at his eyes again, trying to rid his face of the annoying tears, and turned to re-enter his room.

"Hey, Blaine?"

Blaine turned around again to face Burt, hand still on the doorknob. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry about your parents. I know it wasn't easy for you to have them walk back into your life like that. And I hope you've come to think of me as kind of a father-figure, you know?"

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Burt," Blaine said, smiling. "I've thought of you as my father since that first night I spent at your house."

"Good. You can go on in there now. I'll go have a talk with Laurel."

That sounded daunting, but Blaine nodded and proceeded back inside his room. Kurt and Scotty were sitting cross-legged on his bed, facing each other, and _laughing._

"Everything alright in here?" Blaine asked.

The two boys on his bed turned their heads to look at him. Kurt smiled. "Everything is going to be just fine."

"Except you didn't tell me you and Kurt broke up, Blaine," Scotty accused, eyes harsh. "Why wouldn't you tell me something like that?"

"You have your own stuff to deal with. I didn't want to throw mine on you too."

"After everything you've helped me with, it would have been nice to return the favor."

Blaine sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He was about to say something when Kurt cut in. "I called Amanda, and we decided that it would be best if Scotty stayed the week here. He's off from school Wednesday through Friday anyway, so there's no harm in missing Monday and Tuesday. Scotty will be staying with you over Thanksgiving break to kind of get away from everything back home. I didn't think you would mind."

"Not at all," Blaine said, amazed at how well Soulmate could take a chaotic situation and have it completely under control in under an hour. "I'm afraid you'll be a little bored, though, Scotty. I have a lot of homework to catch up on."

"That's the understatement of the year," Kurt muttered, catching Blaine's eyes.

It looked like Kurt was fighting between an expression of amusement or sadness, so Blaine settled the battle for him by teasing, "Yeah, yeah. You could help me, you know. We have some of the same classes, even if we only have one actually together."

Kurt cleared his throat and stood up. "I don't think that would be a very good idea right now. But you're more than capable of completing the work on your own." Kurt turned his attention to Scotty and said, "You have my number if you need anything at all. Just call me and I'll come right over, okay?"

Blaine watched Scotty nod and thought of a time when it was _Blaine _that Kurt was saying that to.

"I'll see you later, Scotty. Bye, Blaine."

Kurt started heading for the door when Blaine stood up and followed him, catching him by the wrist. "Kurt, wait."

"Yes?" Kurt looked down at his wrist where Blaine was holding it and back up at Blaine. Their eyes met and Blaine almost fainted from the overwhelming desire to just kiss him.

But he couldn't do that. He wasn't allowed to anymore. "I, uh…"

"Blaine."

"I just wanted to say I miss you," Blaine finally got out, still gazing into Kurt's eyes.

Time stopped for a moment, and it was like it was just the two of them; just their breathing and their heartbeats and their bodies and their lives, and nothing else mattered. Kurt sighed and brought a hand up to cup Blaine's cheek. Blaine closed his eyes and leaned into it, but when he went to kiss Kurt's palm, Kurt pulled away.

"I miss you too," he said, and then he was gone.

Even after he'd left the room and shut the door, Blaine remained in place, staring at the void where Kurt's presence had been just moments before.

"I don't get it," Scotty said, breaking Blaine's thoughts, "if you guys are still in love, why did you two break up?"

Blaine shook his head and turned around, facing Scotty. "How do you know we're still in love?"

Scotty laughed. "I'm sorry, did you think I wasn't here when you two just did…whatever it was you just did? If that's not love I don't know what is."

The fact that even Scotty could see they were still in love was just the confidence boost he needed. Maybe hope wasn't lost. Sure, Blaine's heart was broken, and Kurt was evading spending time with Blaine even though it was so obvious he wanted to, but they still had a shot. There was still a chance Blaine could fix everything he broke.

First, though, he had homework to do.

**Yay! I've been trying to write this all week but I kept getting busy. Luckily for you guys, I had a break today. :) I already have an idea for a future chapter—(hint hint: Blaine's birthday party)—and also ideas for New Years and such. Yay! Things will be back to happy fluffy Klaineness in no time. :)**

**In the meantime, why don't you click on that nifty REVIEW button below and send me some nice words? :)**


	30. Break

**School's almost out for me :) This week is finals and then I'm off for a week and a half before I start my summer repertory theatre here at SFA. I'm going to be in the chorus for the musical so I'm super stoked! Anyway, that basically means I'll have lots of free time for the next couple of weeks and then I'll be SUPER busy so I apologize for inconsistent updates this summer. Luckily, the story is almost over—I don't anticipate it exceeding 35-37 chapters—so I'll probably finish it before the summer is even over! :D**

**I have a new idea that's very, very different from this for my next multi-chap so I can't wait to get that prologue out and see what you guys think of that one.**

**In the meantime, enjoy this next chapter of I Should Tell You! :D**

_November 21, 2012_

"Scotty, what level math are you in right now?"

"Geometry. Why?"

"Fuck. You're not going to understand this college algebra any better than I do."

"I'm afraid not."

Out of frustration, Blaine threw his pencil at the door, surprised to see the door start opening mid-flight to reveal Laurel who was quick enough to duck just before the pencil would have impaled her forehead.

"If that had stabbed me in the head and killed me, you would have felt bad," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't have stabbed you. I didn't throw it with enough force to have it break your skull. It just would've hit you and fallen on the ground."

"Why are you throwing your writing utensils anyway?" she asked, picking up the pencil from the floor and crossing the room to place it right next to Blaine's paper on his desk.

"Because," he sighed, "it's difficult to try to teach yourself advanced mathematics and I'm frustrated."

"So why don't you call Kurt and have him help you?"

The air was sucked out of the room in just that one simple sentence. Blaine tensed and kept his eyes trained on his paper of polynomial equations, avoiding Laurel's probing eyes above him and Scotty's behind him on the bed.

"Kurt doesn't really like to talk to me unless it's an emergency," Blaine admitted.

It was true. That first day Blaine had returned for Thanksgiving break and he'd called Kurt to come deal with Scotty was an emergency. But when Blaine suggested he help him catch up on all of his homework and Kurt rejected the idea, it occurred to him that Kurt didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to see him. They were broken up. He'd only come for Scotty's benefit, not Blaine's.

"It's fine," Blaine continued, brushing off Laurel's pitying expression. He stood up and headed for his closet. "Really. I'm fine. I can do this on my own. I just need a little break, some fresh air." He reached inside his closet and got his jacket, slipped on his shoes, and headed for the door. At the last minute, he turned around to look at Scotty, who was still sitting on his bed. "Are you okay with staying here while I go out?"

Scotty shrugged. "Sure. I'll just watch TV with Laurel or something."

Blaine nodded and left his room. He'd made it to the door and was grabbing his keys before Laurel came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going.

"Blaine."

He sighed. "I'm just going for a walk. I'll go get coffee or go to a park or something."

"I just worry about you going to get alcohol."

"I know you do. But I'm fine, really. I'm honestly just going to get some fresh air. I'll have my cell phone on me and everything. Okay?"

Even though he hadn't turned around to see her face, Blaine could tell his cousin wasn't happy with this; but with one last squeeze she let go of his shoulder. "Alright. Just be back in time for dinner."

"Will do."

Finally, he was out the door and walking down the street, inhaling the fresh scent of the soon on-coming winter. It had started to snow on Monday and the weather forecast had predicted it would continue to snow all Thanksgiving day and through the weekend, making booking a flight for Sunday to go back to school difficult.

Despite how far behind Blaine had gotten, he'd used the past few days to his advantage and was almost completely caught up in all of his classes. He'd saved math for last because he knew it would be the hardest for him, and now he was only about a couple pages through the notes before he needed to give up. No, give up wasn't the right phrasing, because Blaine most _certainly _was not giving up. He just needed a break.

So he took to the streets and started walking around the neighbourhood, just enjoying the way snow had the effect to make everything magical. Winter had always been Blaine's favourite season. The way the death of everything provided hope for the rebirth of spring right after. It was the cycle of life; things had to die for new things to be born. That was just the way the world worked. But it was beautiful, to Blaine, because the end of a life was something to celebrate, as it gave way to another.

After an hour and a half of aimlessly wandering through the streets, Blaine found himself in a park he used to frequent in his adolescence, after his parents and after Trevor, to just clear his head and try to collect himself before rejoining society. There was a group of a few guys in the far field throwing around a football and a couple of kids playing on the swing set, but other than that the park was mostly empty. No one really wanted to play outside when it was so cold and dreary. Today was what most people in Ohio would call an Indoors Day.

Since the swings were taken by children, Blaine went for his second favourite place in the park, the slide. He climbed onto the playground set and sat at the mouth of the slide, not going down but not getting up, just suspending himself on the precipice. One of the guys threw the football a bit too far so that it landed right next to the slide. Another one yelled out something about, "You missed the catch, you go get the ball, dipshit!"

Before Blaine knew what was happening, one Finn Hudson was standing below him, picking up the football and staring at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Long time no see," Finn said, awkwardly chuckling.

"Yeah," Blaine agreed.

They both remained where they were, Finn rooted to the ground and Blaine rooted to the slide, staring each other down.

Blaine figured Finn was about to start tearing into him for hurting Kurt the way he did, so what Finn said next completely threw him for a loop. "I'm really sorry to hear about your parents and your brother and everything."

"Uh…"

"I mean I know your brother is doing better now but that must have been hard."

He just blinked, not even knowing what was happening right now. "Finn, not that I don't appreciate the sympathy, but why aren't you…I don't know…yelling at me? Calling your friends over here to beat me up for what happened with Kurt?"

"I thought about it," Finn answered honestly, shrugging, "but then Kurt and I had a long talk the other night and he told me how it wasn't all your fault, and how the universe just kept shitting on you. So that sucks. And I kinda know how that feels because in high school my girlfriend got pregnant and then it wasn't even mine it was my best friend's and then my other girlfriend cheated on me with that same best friend and shit just kept happening, ya know? So I totally get how you feel."

Actually, Blaine thought, you don't understand at all. But it was a valiant effort from Finn, and it meant a lot to Blaine that he was trying to understand when, if it had been Blaine, he would have been out for blood for the person who hurt Kurt.

Why had the universe been so cruel to him and now it had suddenly decided to give him a free pass?

"Thanks, Finn."

Thinking the conversation was over, Blaine turned his attention to the sky, admiring the grey clouds promising to release inches and inches of snow to douse the flames that had long been burning Blaine's world to the ground.

Finn coughed to get Blaine's attention again and said, "Kurt would probably kill me for doing this, but what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving tomorrow? You and Laurel and that kid that's staying with you."

"Scott," Blaine supplied, eyeing Finn suspiciously. "And we're not doing anything, just having that whole traditional turkey dinner and whatnot."

"How about you guys come over to our house? I know Burt wouldn't mind, and my mom would probably love to cook for more people. Plus, I know they both miss you almost as much as Kurt does."

This did not feel like a good idea. "Um…"

"You don't have to stay the whole day or anything. You could just be there for a few hours."

"I'm not so sure Kurt wants to see me, Finn."

"Trust me, that's the only thing he wants these days."

For days Blaine had thought that maybe it really was over, that Kurt wanted nothing more to do with him, that he'd blown his chances. Of course, that hadn't deterred Blaine from coming up with all sorts of plans to get Kurt back, but he was starting to doubt how effective they'd be. With this new intel from Finn, though, Blaine just had to find out if that was true. He owed it to himself and to Kurt and to their relationship to keep fighting, no matter how bleak it seemed.

"Alright. We'll be there."

With a quick nod and a muttered, "Cool," Finn was jogging back to his group of friends to continue throwing the football around.

Blaine stayed on the slide for a bit more, weighing his options.

According to Finn, Kurt still wanted to be with him, still wanted to see him, still cared about him. That was a good thing, right? And Finn said that they had talked it out one night, and Kurt had told him all about what happened. If whatever Kurt said to Finn made it seem like they really had a shot of getting back together, Blaine couldn't even be mad that Kurt might have told Finn personal things about him and his family and their relationship. After all, Blaine had been inadvertently spilling all of his secrets to all sorts of people these days; Burt, Carter, everyone. It didn't really matter that Kurt told Finn, who would one day be his step-brother-in-law with any luck.

He could do this. Blaine could do this. He could get himself together. He'd already caught up on two weeks' worth of work for four out of his five classes, which was quite the feat. It would take some work and determination, but he knew that he could get that college algebra stuff too. And he'd already stopped drinking, hadn't had a single drop since their break-up; which, considering how hard their break-up was on him for those first two weeks was pretty remarkable. When he promised to Burt Hummel that he would be good enough for Kurt by the New Year, he meant it, and he was working hard to make good on that promise. If he kept it up, he could maybe even have Kurt back before the New Year.

With a new resolution to get Kurt back sooner, he took a deep breath and pushed himself off the edge, sliding into his new life.

…

"I'm back," Blaine called as he stepped across the threshold.

He heard pots and pans banging in the kitchen accompanied by Laurel shouting, "We're in here!"

Following the sound, Blaine found Laurel and Scotty in the kitchen, looking like the refrigerator had exploded.

"Uh…"

"We're trying to start preparations for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, but I don't remember where I put the recipe book. Do you know where I put it, Blainers?"

At the nickname, Scotty giggled into his hand. "I'm sorry. I know I've heard her call you that a million times since I've been here but it never gets old."

Blaine rolled his eyes and came further into the kitchen to smack Scotty in the back of the head and locate the recipe book, which was behind the dish washing detergent underneath the sink. Once he bent down and retrieved it, he held it up to Laurel. "Found it."

"Why was it in the back of the cabinet under the sink?"

"Why was the sugar too high for either of us to reach that first day Kurt slept over?"

"Touché. I should know by now that nothing in this house makes sense."

Clearing a space on the counter, Blaine hopped up and sat on the edge, swinging his legs and watching as Laurel tried to make sense of recipes she used every year.

"So where did you go?" Laurel asked, going for nonchalant.

It didn't work. Blaine could hear it in her voice that she was only asking to make sure he hadn't gone and bought alcohol and smuggled it in under his coat or anything.

"To the park. I just kind of hung out for a while." He paused, then added, "I saw Finn there."

Laurel immediately stopped her movements and turned around to face him. "Finn Hudson?"

"Yes."

"Who's Finn Hudson?" Scotty asked.

Blaine replied, "Kurt's step-brother," then brought his attention back to Laurel. "He invited us to their house for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow."

"And what did you say?"

"I said we'd be there."

"Blaine!" Laurel hit Blaine on the arm. "Why would you do that?"

"First of all, OW! Really? How was that necessary? Second of all, he was trying to be nice! He was extending the olive branch when he should have been kicking my ass after what I put Kurt through. It seemed rude to decline his offer. We don't have to stay the whole time, Laur. We could just come, eat, and leave."

"That's even more rude. It's like we're just using them for their food." Laurel shook her head and sighed, then looked to Scotty. "Scott, could you let us talk in private for a second?" He looked startled for a second, but nodded and left, heading back down the hall to Blaine's room. With Scotty gone, Laurel stepped to stand directly in front of Blaine and took his face in her hands. "I'm just worried about you, Blaine. Do you really think the best idea for you right now is to go spend a holiday with Kurt and his family?"

Blaine kept direct eye contact to show that the idea didn't make him nervous or fidgety. "Finn said that Kurt wants to see me. If Kurt wants to see me, then I'll go over there."

"If Kurt wants to see you, why has he been ignoring your calls?"

"He hasn't been ignoring my calls. He's just…Look, we broke up, I know that. I'm not stupid. I don't think we're just on a break; I haven't deluded myself that far. But if Finn is implying that I haven't lost everything I had with Kurt, I have to go see for myself."

"And what happens if Finn was misguided as he so often is and Kurt really doesn't want to see you and things really are over? What happens then?"

With a sigh, Blaine threw her hands from his face and walked away, heading for the dining room table. "It's not like that."

"Blaine, just try to understand where I'm coming from here. I'm so proud of all of the progress you've made in getting better again; it's the fastest I've ever seen you pull yourself together. I just want to make sure that all of the hard work you've been doing doesn't fall apart. I'm afraid that if your chances of getting back together with Kurt are smaller than you're hoping for that you'll just fall back down again."

"Listen to me, alright? Just try to listen to me for a second and really absorb what I'm saying to you. I'm doing this for me. I'm turning myself around for my benefit, not just Kurt's. I'm tired of being that guy, alright? I don't want to be that guy anymore, that guy that hates himself and goes out and gets drunk at the slightest blip in his life. I'm really trying to be a better person, not only in the hopes that Kurt could love me again, but in the hopes that maybe I could love myself."

The whole time he'd been talking, he was looking down at the floor, but at the sound of sniffling he snapped his head up to see Laurel crying. She offered a watery smile and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry, I'm PMSing so my emotions are all over the place. And just knowing that you have to work so hard just to love yourself, that hurts me, because you're just this amazing person and you don't even see it." She chuckled to herself and wiped at the tears on her face. "I even, um—well I know that your primary language is music, so I just, I have this song that I've been rehearsing for you on the old keyboard in my room, but you probably don't want to hear it—"

"I'd love to," Blaine whispered, because suddenly the moment seemed too delicate for a higher volume of speech.

Here his cousin was—his sweet, beautiful, compassionate, loving cousin—standing in their kitchen crying because he couldn't figure out how to love himself. So she practiced a song to sing to him to express how she felt, because she knew that that was the best way to get a point across to him. Laurel was the most amazing person he had ever met in his life, aside from Kurt. He wondered why he had to continuously have realizations of that fact instead of just keeping it rooted in his brain.

She nodded and walked over to him, extending her hand. He intertwined their fingers and allowed himself to be lead to her room, where sure enough, the old keyboard that had previously been held in storage sat in front of her full-length mirror on the wall. She let go of his hand and gestured for him sit on her bed as she perched herself on the piano bench. After a moment, she placed her hands on the keys and began to play.

_Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark_

_Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms_

_Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?_

_The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone_

_You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear_

_It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier_

_All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas_

_The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe_

_I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact_

_So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass_

_I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky_

_You will see your beauty every moment that you rise_

When she finished and spun around to face him, there were tears in both of their eyes.

Laurel smiled softly and murmured, "I know I'm not much of a singer but—"

"But nothing," Blaine cut her off. "That was beautiful. Thank you."

They both rose from where they were sitting and met in the middle of the room, throwing their arms around each other.

The bond Blaine shared with his cousin, it was so very special. This whole time he'd been focusing on rebuilding his relationship with Kurt, but he never thought about the damage that might have been done to his relationship with Laurel; he never thought how his actions might have affected her. All she wanted was for Blaine to be happy, and all he wanted was to get wasted, and he didn't care who got hurt in the process.

Now he was adding Laurel to the list of people he'd make himself better for.

"I'm really trying here, Laur. I'm trying so hard to see what you see in me," he said into her hair, holding her closer.

Laurel squeezed right back and replied, "I know. I know you are. Change doesn't happen overnight. I guess I never really realized how much your parents had ruined your self-esteem, and I should have worked harder to help you rebuild it—"

"Don't even go there. You've been the one person in my life besides Kurt to help me see how loved I am. This is not your fault, okay? The only thing you should be taking credit for is helping me get better. You've done everything in the world for me and it's time that I show some gratitude for it by being the person you've always tried to help me be."

"I can help to you know," a third voice said from the doorway. Blaine and Laurel broke apart to see Scotty leaning against the wooden frame. "You've helped me more than anyone, Blaine. Hell, you even opened your home to me for an entire week when I just showed up on your doorstep. It's about time I started to repay you for that."

"You're not indebted to me, Scotty. I help you because I want to."

"See? That right there. Not everyone would do that. Not everyone would talk on the phone to a completely random kid to help him after he'd been bullied at school. Not everyone would stay in contact with that kid and make sure he felt loved and wanted in this world every day, or let him share their room and their bed and their house for a week without any sort of warning. You're a good person, Blaine. And I'm going to work just as hard as Laurel and Kurt to help you see that."

Blaine smiled and opened his arms wordlessly, allowing Scotty to step into them and give him a hug.

He realized that the reason he was always going through such hard shit was because the universe was trying to teach him how to connect with other people. Blaine was the type of person who wanted to do everything on his own, but life didn't work that way. You need help to get through things, even small stuff. So to teach Blaine that it was okay to ask for help, the universe put him through the ringer and made his life hell, but placed amazing people in his life to help him through it. Scotty, Laurel, Kurt, Burt, Finn, Carter, Wes, David, Carole. They all made up this huge support system that Blaine had at his disposal but had been too stubborn to use. Now, though, he was going to change that. Just one of the many things he'd be changing about himself by New Years.

But for now, Blaine focused on the holiday at hand: Thanksgiving. And he had a lot to be thankful for.

…

They rang the doorbell then took a step back on the Hudson-Hummel porch, waiting patiently to be let in. After a few seconds, the door was swung open by a flushed Carole.

"Hi! I'm so glad you guys could make it. Come on in!"

The trio crossed the threshold—Laurel first, then Scotty, then Blaine—standing awkwardly in front of the door as Carole closed and locked it behind them.

"Well, don't be shy, make yourselves at home. Blaine, you know where everything is. Scott, I'm Carole, it's lovely to meet you," Carole said, shaking Scotty's hand. She turned to Laurel and smiled in surprise. "Oh! Did you make that?"

Laurel looked down at the pan of broccoli, rice, and cheese casserole and pumpkin pie in her hands. "Yes! I figured if you were going to be so nice as to add three extra people to your list of how many to cook for, I'd try to contribute just a little bit."

"Thank you, Laurel. You Andersons have always had impeccable manners."

"Thank you for having us, Carole. We appreciate it."

Carole smiled again then turned her head. "Burt! Boys! The Andersons and Scott are here." She swiveled her head back to them. "Laurel, Scott, why don't you both go sit in the living room? I'm sure you can find some Thanksgiving special on. Blaine, why don't you come help me in the kitchen for a second?"

Blaine was not dumb. He knew an adult's set up for a serious talk when he saw one, but he agreed, taking the food from Carole's arms and carrying it into the kitchen for her. He set it on the counter and then turned to her, offering a smile of his own.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. Hummel."

"Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Blaine. I'm glad to see you haven't let your differences with Kurt affect your relationship with our family."

Just hearing Kurt's name and knowing he'd have to face him in just a few minutes made Blaine's heart hurt. He lowered his gaze to the counter. "It's more than just a few differences. We're not together anymore."

"I know, honey. Goodness, the way Kurt acts, the whole house knows."

Blaine met Carole's eyes. "What do you mean? How does Kurt act?"

"He's just not the same anymore. You've heard about Kurt's high school experiences, how people were always down on him, just making it their mission to make his life awful for him. He put on this bravado, but we all saw right through it. When he slipped on that Cheerios uniform, we just pretended like he was someone else, the same way he did. But then he met you, and that smile wasn't fake anymore. Kurt was glowing just talking about you, and it was so lovely to see him smile a _real _smile.

"Without you, that smile's gone. He puts on that same brave face he did in high school, but no one's buying it. We've all tried talking to him, and when Burt first heard about your split he almost flew up to New York and shot you, but Kurt just keeps defending you. He insists that it's not your fault, that you had a lot going on and you two just had things that you couldn't work out until your life calmed down a little. He makes it sound like it was just a simple break-up, but you can see it in the way he walks and talks and in his eyes that it wasn't."

Apparently, neither Kurt nor Burt had told Carole the whole story of their break-up. Blaine got the urge to tell her, she was being so sweet to him, but he didn't have time. He heard footsteps on the stairs and knew that Kurt would be down any second.

"I truly am sorry for what I've put your step-son through, Mrs. Hummel. I promise that I'm working on being good enough for him. In the meantime, we both just have to suffer through life without each other until I learn how to be a man worthy of his love."

"You'll get there, Blaine. I can see how much you've changed already just talking to you." She walked towards him and placed a hand on the side of his face, smiling. "And honey, I know that you're on a first name basis with Burt, so why would you think you couldn't call me Carole?"

Blaine smiled and pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you, Carole."

"Is the food almost done?" Finn said, coming into the kitchen.

Carole and Blaine pulled apart, the first rolling her eyes at her son and the second trying to catch his breath at the sight of Kurt in the doorway.

He looked amazing, as always. His outfit had been meticulously picked out, his hair carefully styled, his whole physical image perfectly crafted. But Blaine could see what Carole was talking about; Kurt's shoulders slumped just the slightest bit, and he was leaning against the doorway as if he needed something to hold him up or he'd break down, and the sadness in his eyes was unmistakable. More than that, the tell-tale dark circles around Kurt's eyes were worse than Blaine had ever seen them. Not only had Kurt not been sleeping, he'd been having horrid nightmares; it was written all over his face.

"Hi," Blaine breathed.

Kurt's eyelashes fluttered and he focused in on Blaine's face. "Hi."

"How are you doing?" Such a simple question, such a complex meaning.

Kurt shrugged. "Fine. You?"

"Fine."

Even though Blaine had accepted Kurt's vague answer, Kurt was not extending him the same courtesy. He quirked his eyebrow just the tiniest bit. "Really?"

Blaine nodded and offered a smile. "Really. I'm caught up on all of my school work except for college algebra."

"That's good."

"Yeah. And I've been helping Laurel around the house, and hanging out with Scotty, and um…" Blaine glanced over to where Carole and Finn had congregated by some food over in the corner before stepping over to Kurt to lower his voice and say, "I haven't had anything to drink since…That Day. I mean—I've been drinking fluids, I wouldn't be alive if I hadn't, I just meant that I haven't—"

"Blaine," Kurt placed a palm on Blaine's chest to stop his rambling, and that one simple touch lit his body on fire. For so long he'd felt like he was frozen; frozen in time, frozen in his life, frozen in his solitude. That one touch of Kurt's hand to Blaine's heart warmed his whole body and brought him back to life. "I knew what you meant."

He wanted to nod, or smile, or say something, or do something, but with Kurt that close and his hand on his chest and their mouths so close that their breaths were mingling, Blaine could barely even think. All he wanted to do was eliminate that distance between them by connecting their mouths, pressing their bodies together so closely that they could hardly even tell where one ended and the other began.

None of that was an option anymore, though. It would have been, a couple of months ago, but Blaine traded that privilege for alcohol.

"How are _you_ doing?" he finally said. "Really?"

Kurt sighed and refused to meet Blaine's eyes. "I'm doing fine, like I said. I'm not great, but I'm not awful. I've been through hard times before and I'll get through them again."

"That'll be kind of hard with you not being able to sleep."

Finally, Soulmate's blue eyes flickered up to meet his. "Don't."

"Kurt," Blaine whispered, "please, just let me help you."

"I said don't."

"You need me. It wouldn't mean we'd be getting back together. I know we both need time before that can happen, if it happens. But you need to sleep, Kurt. Just let me call you at night. We can talk on the phone before bed like we used to."

"We used to do a lot of things together, Blaine, and you threw those out the window so why should our phone conversations be any different?"

Carole, with her fantastic timing, broke up the argument that was about to take place with a smile and a declaration of, "Time to eat!" Most likely, it was only time to eat because Finn wouldn't stop bugging her about when everything would be ready and she could hear that Kurt and Blaine were about to get in a fight. Whatever the reason, the discussion was dropped, Burt, Laurel, and Scott came into the room, and everyone helped to set the dining room table.

Once the food was all placed along the table and all of the plates and silverware and cups were set, the group sat down to eat—Blaine, Scott, and Laurel on one side, Kurt and Finn on the other side, with Carole and Burt at either end of the table. Kurt's atheism aside, Carole said grace, and they all dug in. Laurel was excellent at keeping the conversation alive with the adults and Finn and Scott entered a conversation about some new video game that was slated to come out in the spring; Kurt and Blaine ate in silence, occasionally glancing up at each other and looking right back down at their plates when they realized they'd been caught by the other.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. This was Kurt and Blaine's first holiday together since they'd met; it was supposed to be a time for joy and celebration and laughter and love and giving thanks for the fact that fate had brought them together. Instead, it was a time of awkwardness and discomfort and longing and hurt. Blaine knew they weren't ready to be together again, but from what Finn had said, he thought that there might be a time when they could be. Judging from Kurt's reaction to his offer earlier, though, Finn had been very, very wrong.

When Blaine thought the others at the table were consumed enough in their own conversations to pay no attention to him, he leaned forward a little to Kurt across from him and whispered, "I'm working on being better. I'm really trying to be a better person."

Kurt kept his head down but lifted his gaze. "I know you are."

"I haven't gotten drunk in almost a month."

"That's good."

"And I don't hate myself so much anymore. I'm finding things about myself to like."

"Good."

Blaine sighed. He was barely getting anything from Kurt. It was like he was talking to a brick wall. He could see that Kurt was holding something back, but he just refused to say it. "Kurt?"

"Mmhmm?"

"What's wrong?"

Two words. You'd think Blaine had said, "Kill Burt," with the way Kurt reacted. Kurt dropped his silverware hard on his plate and stared at Blaine. "You're seriously asking me that?"

They were no longer whispering, and the fact that Kurt had startled everyone by dropping his silverware and now he was speaking at a louder volume halted all other conversation.

Blaine shifted nervously in his seat. "I mean, I know what happened, I'm just asking—"

"You're asking me what's wrong. What kind of a question is that? A better thing to ask me would be what _isn't _wrong, because that would require a shorter answer. Blaine, you're sitting here telling me how hard you're trying to love yourself and how you've been sober for a month. And that's great, and I'm proud of you, but do you not hear what's wrong with that sentence? Take aside even just the meaning for a second which is wrong enough in itself and just look at the bigger picture." Kurt paused for a second, like he really wanted Blaine to look at something, before he asked, "What about me?"

"I—" Blaine blinked. He didn't understand what he'd done wrong. He'd been making good on his promise, isn't that what Kurt wanted? That day when he came to Blaine's room to get him out of his depression, he'd been trying to get Blaine to pick himself up and try at school and get his life back together. That's what Blaine was doing. He was reporting his progress to Kurt. Kurt was the one who said he couldn't wait to see the new Blaine; here Blaine was trying to tell him about it and Kurt was angry. What happened?

Kurt laughed darkly and pushed his chair pack, standing up. "You don't even see it." With a start, Blaine realized that Kurt had tears in his eyes.

"Kurt, wait—"

"This isn't just about you!" Kurt shouted, now standing behind the chair and holding onto the chair's back to brace himself. "You're not the only one that has had to go through this break-up, Blaine. What about me? What about how I'm doing?"

Blaine rose from his chair. "I asked how you were doing. I even tried to offer my help for your sleeping—"

"For my sleeping, Blaine? Really?" Kurt wiped at his eyes, now crying in earnest. "I'm angry with you. I am _so_ angry with you right now. You have put me through hell and all you care about is yourself. I was there for you! I was there and I was holding you and loving you and using everything I had to try and help you and it was like you didn't even _see _me. Every time I had to watch you hurt yourself it hurt me ten times worse and you didn't even _care. _You were so absorbed in your own emotions you completely ignored mine.

"But you want to come here and talk about talking on the phone every night like we used to? What would we talk about, Blaine? Huh? Which liquor and mixer combination you like the best? What brand of whiskey is your favourite?"

The alcoholism jokes stung, Blaine wasn't going to lie. It was like someone laid out the file of his life and picked the worst aspects of it and was throwing them in his face.

"Then you bring up the possibility of us getting back together? You are not the only one that this relationship concerns, Blaine. I didn't break up with you because you were an alcoholic. I broke up with you because you loved that alcohol more than you loved me. Our relationship isn't just in suspension until you figure out what kind of man you want to be; our relationship is waiting for me to try to forgive you for telling me you loved me and showing me you loved something else more."

Kurt took a deep breath and let his fingers dig into the wood of the chair. He closed his eyes like he was centering himself, and when he opened them, the anger had subsided a bit, replaced by hurt; so much hurt. When he spoke again, it was in a much softer voice. "You broke my heart, Blaine. You want to know what my old nightmares were like? I'd be in my bed, and my mom would be tucking me in and singing me the lullaby she used to always sing to me, and then all of a sudden she'd start disappearing, and I'd never get to hear the end of the song that always had a way of ending too early.

"You want to know what my new nightmares are like? It's me and you, in our spot, and we're lying there, and everything is calm and happy. For just that split second, my subconscious lets me hold onto that time when we were good. And then the lake turns from water into something darker—alcohol—and you get up and you start walking towards it. And I'm left alone, so I sit up, and I try to call you back to me, but you keep going until you're in the lake and then you're drowning yourself in it. And I've lost you forever because you would rather drown yourself in alcohol than be with me."

Now Blaine is crying, and his heart is hurting worse than it ever has before, a physical pain so sharp that one hand clutches at his chest and the other drops to the table to prop himself up.

He never meant for any of this to happen. This wasn't part of his plan. That first day when Kurt had come back after their break up, Kurt had made it seem like when Blaine was better they could be back together. Yet now here Kurt was, yelling at Blaine, telling him how terribly he hurt him and how he can't sleep and how his nightmares are now about Blaine.

It was too much. Blaine's head was spinning. He was praying to a god he wasn't sure he believed in that he wouldn't get a panic attack right now because he didn't think he could handle that on top of everything else.

But his eyes never left Kurt's. He kept trying to speak, but he was having trouble breathing. "I—I'm so sorry, Kurt. There's nothing else I can say. I'm sorry. I—" He ducked his head and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the inhale and exhale that comes to naturally to everyone else but somehow felt like an Olympic sport to him now.

He heard a chair scrap beside him and a hand on his back, Laurel speaking into his ear, "Breathe, Blaine. Just breathe."

Didn't she understand that he was trying?

His heart had broken and the pieces had punctured his lungs and now he couldn't get air to stay in properly.

Blaine vaguely registered other people moving—Scott going to stand out of the way, Carole going to get Blaine a glass of water, Burt going to stand on Blaine's other side, Finn going to stand with Scott—but none of it really mattered. Everyone else was able to move, able to breathe, and Blaine could barely even manage that.

Then, he was being pulled away by a familiar hand. He felt hands on his face, bringing his eyes to meet the blue ones he'd looked into so many times he could swear he had all of the flecks of miscellaneous colours and their exact locations memorized by now.

"Blaine, it's going to be okay. Just open your mouth and take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly blow it out like you're blowing out the candles on your birthday cake. Okay?"

He nodded because that seemed like the polite thing to do—especially since the boy who had been yelling him only moments before was now trying to help him. He willed his body to repair all of the breaks in his lungs so that they could hold air like they were supposed to. Slowly, he felt the necessary fixes being made, and he could take in air again. He opened his mouth and swallowed the oxygen, held it for a few seconds, and blew out as instructed.

"Good. That's really good."

Finally, the edges of his vision became less blurred, and his breathing grew regular again, and he was able to focus on the fact that Kurt was standing in front of him, holding his face in his hands.

"Hi," Blaine breathed, much the same as he had when he first saw Kurt not even a full hour earlier.

Kurt dropped his hands from Blaine's face, but after a moment's thought, brought one up and hit Blaine on the chest; it wasn't a hard hit, but it wasn't a soft pat either. It got Kurt's point across. "Asshole. You're not allowed to get a panic attack and make me worry about you when I'm angry with you and yelling at you."

"Just add that to the list of things I'm sorry that I've done to you."

Burt stepped over to them and pushed them apart, giving both of them a stern look. "I think you've said all you had to say, Kurt. Why don't you take a break?"

Kurt took in a deep breath then let it out with a nod. "Yeah. Okay. I was done eating anyway." He turned to walk away but stopped in his tracks. With is back still turned, he added, "If Blaine needs me again I'll be in my room."

"You've had enough of each other for one day. Laurel is going to take Blaine home so he can rest and think about what you said." Burt looked to Laurel who was standing with Carole for confirmation; she nodded, mouth in a taught line and eyebrows furrowed.

So Kurt went to his room, and after a few awkward goodbyes, Blaine was on his way home, the car silent on the drive there.

As they drove home, Blaine mentally hit himself in the head. Not in a self-deprecating way where all he could see were his faults, but in a healthy way where he accepted responsibility for his actions and the way they affected others, yet determined to fix them. If possible, he was even more set in his resolution to be better. He had to figure out a way to make it up to Kurt. He'd done the work on himself; well, it was going to take a lot more time and work on himself to fix all of his own issues, but that would be a long process that would take years. For now, he had to figure out how to show Kurt that things would be different from now on; that _he _would be different from now on. That he would care for Kurt and love Kurt and pay more attention to the way Kurt felt and not just focus on his own feelings.

Why was it that Blaine could never just have a normal dinner at the Hummel-Hudson house? It felt like every time he was there the night ended in disaster and someone breaking down and someone having a panic attack.

Not anymore. Come New Years, that would change. Everything would change.

It had to. For Kurt.

**This had to happen. You know it did. Anyway, so far in my head I have the next chapter planned and the epilogue sort of outlined. That's not to say that the next chapter is the last one before the epilogue, that's just me letting you guys know that I have the next chapter and the epilogue outlined. So you all know that I do have ideas and I'm not just some clueless writer who types out anything she wants on a whim.**

**I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are a way to let me know if you did. Just so you know. :)**


	31. Full Circle

**Lol what are finals? I have fanfic to write.**

_December 1, 2012_

It wasn't supposed to feel like this, Blaine thought to himself. Falling in love was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to be earth-shattering, life-altering. Love was supposed to turn your world upside down in the best way possible and make it seem like you could never be upset or sad or angry or lonely again, as long as you were in that person's arms. As long as you were with them, no one could touch you.

So how did it come to this?

Looking back on the events of that summer, he couldn't help but smile. It had been good, while it lasted. He had to admit to himself that, even if he had known this outcome back then, he wouldn't change a thing. He would have done it all again, exactly the same. No matter how heartbroken he was now, to just get those brief moments with Kurt were enough for him.

Kurt always talked about his bucket list, constantly pulling out his iPhone and mentioning random items on his list. There were hundreds of things he wanted to do before he died, even though he knew some of them would be out of reach for him. Blaine, however, just had one item on his list. More important than all of his dreams and ambitions and wants out of life, there was just one thing he wanted to accomplish before he died.

Blaine Anderson's Bucket List

Fall in love

That was all he wanted out of life. He didn't think it was too much to ask for; after all, some people fall in love multiple times throughout their lives. He just wanted one time. One mind-blowing, heart-clenching, epic romance.

And that summer, that's exactly what he'd gotten.

…

"In exactly 13 days, B, you and I will be on our way back home and this awful semester will be over," Carter sighed as he attempted to study for finals.

Attempted was the operative word here.

Blaine peeked his head down from the top bunk and peered down at his roommate. "It wasn't all bad."

"Blaine," Carter deadpanned, "Your parents came back. Your brother almost died. Amanda's father did die. You became an alcoholic. Said alcoholism resulted in a nasty break-up between you and the love of your life, meanwhile I was separated from mine. This semester has been shit."

"Speaking of Amanda, are you going to her place again over Christmas break or going home to your parents?"

"Amanda. My parents are really understanding when it comes to her. They fell in love with her the first time I brought her home. They know that right now she needs me more than I need to be home. Plus, I'm almost 21; I can do whatever I want."

"Well that's good. I'm glad your parents are so supportive."

_Unlike mine._

But Blaine couldn't say that. This wasn't about him. For once, it wasn't about him. It was about Carter and Amanda and Scotty and all of those kids that needed a strong male role model. Seeing as how Carter would soon be their brother-in-law anyway, it seemed only natural that he'd continue to be there with Amanda and help her with everything.

"Listen, man, I know I've said this about a million times, but thanks again for what you did for Scotty over Thanksgiving."

Blaine rolled his eyes with a smile and lay back on his bed. "I told you, it was nothing. He needed an escape; I know what that's like. At least his was safe with friends and not out doing who knows what. I was happy to be there for him."

"I know, but Amanda says that he's been different ever since he spent that week with you. He's handling things better and dealing with stuff at school better and not making things so difficult for Amanda while she tries to keep their family together. You didn't have to do what you did so thank you. Again."

"You're welcome," Blaine said, because what else could he say? It really wasn't a big deal. He was more than happy to help Scotty out. Scotty had become a good friend, regardless of the age difference.

In fact, when Blaine and Scotty went to the airport together but boarded different planes at the end of the week, Blaine was sad to see him go. It had been nice to spend that week with him; they'd really bonded. Scotty listened to Blaine's long, long monologues about Kurt and offered advice if he could—though he'd never really been in a relationship, his advice was quite effective. He'd helped around the house when asked and cleaned up after himself and gave Blaine alone time when it was necessary and a friend when it wasn't.

Plus, Scotty had helped Blaine come up with the perfect plan for winning Kurt back.

He just needed to work a few things out first that might be a bit difficult.

"Hey, I'll be right back," Blaine said, climbing down from his bed and slipping on some shoes.

Carter stared at him. "Where are you going?"

"Did Scotty tell you about Operation: GKB?"

"Of course. Operation: Get Kurt Back. Why?"

"It's about to be set in motion."

With that, Blaine grabbed his keys and headed down the hall to the stairwell of the dorm. He went up one flight and headed down the hall to a room he'd hardly ever been to before as it was but now had been visiting even less since That Day; as in not at all.

Because why would he visit Kurt's room when they weren't together anymore?

But today it was necessary.

He knocked four times and took a step back. After a bit of shuffling from inside, probably Kurt getting up from his bed or from the desk, the door opened.

And there Kurt was.

He looked surprised for a second, but recovered quickly. "Blaine?"

"Hi," Blaine offered. "Can I come in?"

Kurt nodded and stepped aside. "Of course."

He walked further into the room and was pleased to see that Stephen—Kurt's roommate—was presently absent. Perfect. He didn't want to have to deal with Kurt's borderline homophobic roommate when he was trying to woo back his boyfriend.

"So, what I came here to say was—"

"I'm sorry about what happened—"

They spoke at the same time and cut off at the same time, laughing at the awkwardness of the situation. Blaine gestured with his hand and said, "You can go first."

"Right," Kurt nodded again, leaning back against the closed door and watching Blaine. "I just wanted to apologize for Thanksgiving. I was out of line."

"You don't have to apologize for what you said, Kurt, you were completely justified."

"Oh, I know I was. I'm not apologizing for what I said; I'm apologizing for how I said it. I didn't need to yell at you like that, especially in front of my family and yours. It was inappropriate. I should have saved all of that for a time when you and I could calmly discuss it alone like mature adults."

Blaine sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets—half out of awkwardness and half to keep himself from taking those few steps to Kurt and grasping his face in his hands and kissing the hell out of him to end this whole ridiculous break-up. But he couldn't do that. He had plans.

"I deserve some of the blame as well, for even starting that conversation at the table. I should have waited too. So let's just call it equal fault on both our parts and put it behind us. Is that okay?"

Kurt hesitated for a moment, but eventually said, "Sure. Let's do that."

"Not that I'm ignoring what you said to me that day," Blaine explained. "You had a good point and I'm not saying I'm forgetting what you said. I've been thinking a lot about it, actually. It wasn't fair of me, and you were right, I tend to get really self-centered. That's just one of the many things I'm working on, you know?" Blaine stopped himself and laughed a bit. "And see, I just turned it into me working on myself when it's about you and that's the whole point. Obviously I still have a long way to go."

"Blaine, it's okay—"

"But it's not. You were so right, Kurt. I was so wrapped up in myself and the way I was hurting that I didn't even think about the way you might have been feeling. I thought that since you were still going to class and moving on with your life that you didn't need me and you'd just gotten over it. I understand now, though, that that's just how a normal person handles that type of situation. When something bad happens, I shrivel up and die; that's not how life should be handled. I should have been like you and just kept going to class and doing the things I normally do, but then allow myself that time to wallow and cry at the end of the day when everything is done. I get that now."

After a moment of Kurt eyeing him, he finally said, "That's good, Blaine. I'm glad you know how to handle difficult situations now."

"Yeah, but again, this isn't about me. So, I just want to ask you again, how are you doing? And this time I want a serious answer; be honest with me."

"I've been…" Kurt trailed off, the pause lasting so long that Blaine almost prompted him, but then Kurt continued, "Honestly? I've been awful. Those nightmares I told you about were real; I didn't just make them up to hurt you. I can't sleep and it's…it's messing up my school work, as I'm sure you've noticed in our class together. I…I miss you so much, Blaine."

"I miss you, too," he murmured, taking a tentative step forward. When Kurt showed no sign of discomfort, he took another step forward, and then another, until he was close enough to take Kurt's hand. With a gentle slowness, he moved his hand and reached for Kurt's, slowly threading their fingers together one at a time, letting their hands lock into place with each other. It had been so long since he'd held Kurt's hand, felt the way Kurt's fingers fit perfectly in the space between his, felt the warm press of Kurt's palm against his. He just stared down at their hands for a minute before looking back up and finding Kurt's eyes. "So much."

"Do you…I've been having this pain in my chest, and with my dad's history of heart problems I went to the doctor just to make sure everything was okay, and sure enough I'm fine. But I keep…it hurts, Blaine," Kurt's voice cracked, and Blaine would have done anything in that moment to take back all of the hurt he'd done to this beautiful, perfect boy. "My chest…just has this permanent ache and it…physically hurts…and I don't know what's wrong or how to fix it."

Blaine closed his eyes and hung his head, knowing exactly the pain Kurt was referring to. It was awful; he'd been feeling it for weeks.

"Do you know what I'm talking about?" Kurt asked.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Have you found out how to make it go away?"

There was a theory Blaine had, yes, but he hadn't been able to test it yet. Sadly, he wouldn't be able to test it until Operation: GKB was completed.

"I have a theory," Blaine hedged, not wanting to lie anymore. "But I'm still trying to work it out."

Kurt eyed him oddly but let it go, wiping the light tears from his eyes and composing himself. "So, um, I'm guessing you didn't come here to watch me fall apart and hold my hand. What was it you were trying to say when you came in?"

It hurt Blaine to hear Kurt so casually mention how broken he was, but he brushed it off. Of course Kurt was broken. Blaine had done that to him; but now he was in the process of putting him back together again and he had to focus on that part.

Funny how just a month ago it was the other way around.

"No, I actually wanted to invite you to my birthday party. Since my birthday is—"

"December 17th. I remember."

"Right. Well that's the Monday after the semester ends so I'm having a birthday party that night. I wanted to know if you'd come."

Kurt looked back and forth between Blaine's eyes and sighed. "Blaine…"

"I'm not asking you to come with me as my date or anything like that. I'm just plain asking if you'll attend the party." Kurt was still hesitant. "Come on, you love parties, Kurt. And there will be karaoke."

"Karaoke? Did you invite Rachel?"

"Rachel Berry? She's your friend, Kurt, I wouldn't cross a boundary like that while we're…"

"She's your friend too," Kurt said softly, squeezing Blaine's hand. "My friends all adored you at that party at the end of the summer. I bet if you invited them, they'd come."

"I thought they were all ready to burn me at the stake after what I've put you through."

"All they know is that we…broke up. They don't know the details. You're in the clear."

For the hundredth time, Blaine wondered why Kurt had defended him to everyone, why he'd only told people that they'd broken up but didn't tell them why. Kurt had been saying that it was a clean break-up, something that was just right for both of them at the time; that they just weren't working together at the moment. Why wouldn't he just tell the truth and tell people how awful Blaine had been? After all Blaine put him through, it's not like Kurt owed him any kind of mercy or preservation of dignity. So why the careful evasion of truth?

Blaine just had to ask. "Kurt, why haven't you been telling people the real reason we broke up?"

"Because you don't deserve that. You made some mistakes—a lot of them—and you did a lot of things you shouldn't have and said things you shouldn't have. But I let you. Carter was right, I was enabling you, and I should have just helped you, but I was afraid that if I pushed too hard I'd be pushing you away and I didn't want that. So I just stood by and let you become an alcoholic and told myself that it was okay as long as I picked up the pieces afterward. In the end, we were both wrong. There were so many things that both of us should have done differently. It wouldn't have been right for me to go around shouting your mistakes and ignoring my own."

"There was nothing you could have done," Blaine said, bringing up his other hand to cup Kurt's cheek. "I was too far gone. You could have locked me in my room and stood guard at the door to keep me from buying alcohol and I probably would have punched you in the face and left anyway."

"Blaine—"

"It's true. We both know that I had the capacity to do that, to hit you if you got in my way. But that's why I've been trying so hard to change. I can't even stand the thought of the fact that I was that kind of man, the one with the ability to hit you. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm trying so hard and fighting every day; some days are easy and some days are the complete opposite. Sometimes I can go through a whole day without even thinking of alcohol, but other times I practically start crying because the urge for me to drink is so strong and overwhelming. But I'm fighting it and I'll continue to fight it until I just don't have that urge at all anymore."

Kurt smiled softly. "That's why I didn't tell anyone. Because I knew you'd get yourself together and I didn't want everyone watching you like some kind of reality TV special while you did it. You deserve the privacy to do this on your own."

Blaine stroked his thumb back and forth over Kurt's cheekbone, wondering how on earth Kurt managed to be the best boyfriend in the world when he wasn't even Blaine's boyfriend at all.

"So…you'll come to my party?"

"Sure. And you'll invite Rachel?"

"Of course."

"Well…the only thing is, if you invite Rachel, then she'll invite Finn and Quinn, who will invite Puck and Santana, who will invite Mike and Brittany, who will invite Tina and Artie, who will invite Mercedes and Sam."

"So essentially inviting Rachel will be inviting your entire group of friends from high school."

"Basically."

"Alright," Blaine shrugged. "They were all really nice to me, anyway. I'll just invite them all myself. Along with all of my friends from high school."

"I have a feeling your party will be a weird déjà vu of our party in August."

"Minus the alcohol," Blaine reminded. "That's the most important part."

Kurt smiled at him. "I really am proud of you, Blaine. I know how hard this is for you, and I'm proud of how far you've come. I have a feeling that by the time New Year's rolls around you'll be a completely new man."

Blaine chuckled. _You have no idea._

…

_December 12, 2012_

Finals week was actually Blaine's favourite week of the semester.

All you had to worry about was finals, and if you had all of your finals on Monday, you could go home on Tuesday. As it worked out for Blaine, all of his finals ended today, so he would be hopping on a plane to go home tomorrow. He'd spent all dead week packing, so he was good to go for his flight tomorrow at 10:15am; he'd be home in time for lunch with Laurel.

There was something he had to do first, though. He had to see Alex.

He'd been to the Cancer Center multiple times since he'd gotten back from Thanksgiving break, and although Alex was confirmed to be in remission now—as of one week ago exactly—Dr. Pierson had wanted to keep Alex for just a little while longer for observational and testing reasons. It was a learning institute, after all, so they performed some tests for the sole reason of building Alex's case to teach to medical students.

Once Blaine's last final ended at 3pm, he headed back to drop his backpack off and then was right back out the door, on his way to see Alex for probably one last time before his parents took him away again.

Blaine wasn't delusional. He knew that once Alex was discharged, his parents would be taking him back to Ohio and never letting Blaine see him again. That was just how his parents were. The only reason they'd come back into his life at all was to save Alex; now that he'd done that, his parents would go back to pretending he didn't exist and trying to raise the son they'd always wanted.

As he pushed open the front door of his dorm building and stepped into the snowy street, his phone began ringing in his pocket. He struggled to fish it out in time with his gloves on, but finally he got it free and answered it. "Hello?"

"Blaine." It was Kurt. And he sounded…panicked?

"Kurt? What's wrong?"

"Blaine, where are you right now?"

"On my way to the Cancer Center. What's going on? What happened?"

"Just hurry up and get here."

The line disconnected, and Blaine was left reeling. What happened? Kurt said to hurry up and get "here;" did that mean Kurt was at the Cancer Center? Blaine knew that Kurt liked to visit occasionally even if it wasn't with Blaine, but he sounded freaked out. What if the tests had been wrong? What if Alex's health had taken another turn for the worse?

Images of his baby brother lying cold and pale in a casket ran through his mind the entire time he ran to the Center. By the time he got there, he didn't even bother taking the elevator, instead choosing to race up the stairs two at a time until he reached Alex's floor and sprinting down the hall. He spotted Kurt and Dr. Pierson standing outside of Alex's room; Dr. Pierson looked distraught, Kurt looked pissed. His arms were folded across his chest and he was tapping the ground with his foot, his jaw clenched.

Blaine was breathless by the time he reached them, but the second he approached he demanded, "What happened?"

Dr. Pierson turned his sad eyes on him. "Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" he almost yelled.

"I did everything I could."

Oh, my God, Blaine thought. Alex is dead. Alex died. But how? He was in remission. What happened between then and now? Only 7 days had passed since Alex was pronounced in remission and now he was dead? It couldn't be possible.

He couldn't catch his breath. Everything was closing in. It seemed so small. The white walls turned into the velvet lining of a casket, sealing him in an early death. They were closing him in, lowering him into the ground, 6 feet under. None of this was right. With the casket door shut, he couldn't breathe. The air supply was depleting quicker and quicker with every inch he fell. Why were they doing this to him?

And then hands were on him, on his face, and all his eyes could see was blue; a glorious colour of blue, like a clear summer sky, with little flecks of every color in the rainbow. It was consuming him, pulling him up. Was this heaven? He'd never believed before, not really, but staring into that blue, there was nothing else it could be. This was heaven.

"Blaine! Blaine, breathe. Just breathe. My God, Doctor, you couldn't have phrased that any other way? Do you know what that sounds like when you're referring to a cancer patient? What is wrong with you? Blaine, listen to me, Alex is fine. He's alive. He's in remission, remember? You know that. Just breathe, calm down, we'll talk about everything. Okay? I just need you to breathe."

"He's having a panic attack, he needs medication. Nurse!"

"Like hell he does. Blaine, focus on my voice. Do you see my face? Look at my face. You're going to be fine. Alex is fine. Everyone is fine."

_Alex is fine._

_Everyone is fine._

_Just breathe._

It was like whispers of smoke sneaking into his coffin and one by one removing the screws, opening the lid, allowing air back in. Slowly, air was made more available to him. There was more and more for him to consume, and his brain hungered for it. He took in big gasps of air at first, trying to get as much as he could. After a minute, the blue faded and shrank until it was just two spheres of it directly in front of his eyes; his heaven morphed into Kurt Hummel's eyes staring into his, boring into him, willing him to come back.

"Alex is fine?" Blaine asked, because as soon as he had enough air to speak, that was top priority.

The blue orbs were moving, up and down. "Yes. Alex is fine; he's fine. He's okay. He's alive."

"He's healthy?"

"He's healthy."

Blaine clasped at his chest, fisting his shirt and bringing it away from his body, as if it was constricting him and if it was let loose he could breathe more.

"How did you do that?" Dr. Pierson's voice floated in and Blaine turned his head to the side, making Kurt's hands drop back to his sides, to see the doctor, who he assumed had been there the whole time.

"Not everything needs to be fixed through medication, Dr. Pierson. You medical professionals all just want to prescribe something and send us on our way. That's not how it works. All Blaine needed was something to hold onto."

"I have you," Blaine breathed, turning back to Kurt.

Kurt stared back at him and nodded. "Yes. You have me."

"Who has Alex?"

A million emotions flickered across Kurt's face; pity, sorrow, anger, desperation. "Your parents do. Blaine, Alex was discharged at 11 o'clock this morning. Your parents took him back to Ohio."

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Dr. Pierson repeated. "I did everything I could, but your parents are Alex's guardians. I can't legally keep him from them, and I couldn't make them stay. I already kept Alex here longer than necessary, but I had to let him go home sometime. He's in remission, his body is healthy again, there was no medical necessity for him to stay here any longer. I had to let him go."

Suddenly, Dr. Pierson's words made sense. He was apologizing because he didn't like Blaine's parents any more than Blaine did. He did everything he could to keep Alex around for Blaine's sake, knowing their situation, but there was nothing else he could do. Alex had to leave at some point, now that he was a healthy young boy again.

And really, that was the most important thing, right? That Alex was healthy. That was Blaine's number 1 priority. That's why he'd endured the presence of his parents in his life, for Alex, to make sure he was healthy and safe again. If Alex was so healthy and stable that he was able to be discharged and safe to go home to Ohio, then everything was okay. That was the best thing for him.

Despite the way Richard and Charlotte Anderson raised Blaine, he could tell it was different with Alex. Whether it was because they realized they were horrible parents and wanted to be better, or it was just plain because they loved Alex more, Blaine didn't care. He could see that they genuinely wanted to be good parents to his brother. The fact that they flew to New York to practically grovel on Blaine's doorstep so many months ago—because that was what they'd done, essentially—showed that they were willing to go to great lengths to ensure the well-being of their youngest son. And as long as Blaine held onto that knowledge, he would be okay.

He'd miss Alex every day. He would miss those times where he was able to run his fingers through those miniature curls and feel the weight of that angelic little boy asleep against his chest; he never felt more centered in the world than when he had that child in his arms. But those were memories he would cherish until one day, hopefully, he was able to see Alex again, and be the big brother that he'd always wished he had.

"Don't worry, Blaine, we're going to fix this. It is unconscionable that after everything you did for them, your parents would just disappear with your little brother without any sort of warning. We are going to make this right again. When we get back to Ohio, we're driving back to your parents' house and we'll demand to see Alex and if they don't let us we'll just camp out on the porch—do they have a porch?—until they _have _to let us in because we're peeing in their bushes and—"

"Kurt, stop. Please."

The second Blaine spoke, Kurt stopped talking. He still looked livid, but he held it in. "But, Blaine—"

"It's okay. Alex is healthy. That's all we wanted, right? For him to be better again. My little brother is going to be able to live a full life. He'll get to grow up and graduate high school and go to college and fall in love and all of those experiences. For a while we weren't even sure if he'd make it to kindergarten, and now he's going to graduate college."

"How are you not outraged? How are you not crying? Blaine, this isn't right, we have to do something."

"What is there to do, Kurt? There's nothing more we _can _do. Like Dr. Pierson said, we can't do anything about this. They're his parents; they have every right to take him home."

Dr. Pierson cleared his throat, interrupting the conversation. "I apologize for the interruption, but I must be attending to other patients. Blaine, I hope you're able to see Alex soon."

"Thank you, Dr. Pierson. For everything you've done for my brother. You saved his life."

"So did you."

With that, Dr. Pierson headed down the hallway, already on to the next sick and dying kid.

Kurt, however, was still hung up on Alex. He opened his mouth to argue again, but Blaine lifted his hand and pressed a finger to Kurt's lips. "Kurt. Really. It's okay. If I get to see Alex again, that would be great, but I'm just happy that he's okay enough to go home."

Silence. Kurt just stared at him, his lips parted slightly, his eyes looking at Blaine like he'd never seen him before. It was a whole new look that Blaine didn't recognize with a hint of a look that Kurt used to give Blaine a lot; the Love Look.

"What?" Blaine asked, unsure why Kurt was looking at him like that.

"You really have changed. You're a completely different person."

"I'm hoping that's a good thing."

"It's a very good thing." Kurt held out his hand and said, "Walk me back?"

Blaine simply threaded their fingers together and nodded, walking hand-in-hand with Kurt down the hall and down the stairs and out the doors.

It had been lightly snowing on Blaine's journey here, but now it was falling heavily, like a rainstorm, only it was snow—a snowstorm. Duh.

Kurt immediately brought Blaine's entire arm to his body and molded himself against Blaine's side, cuddling as close as they could while walking. "Come on!" He shouted, picking up their pace. They half-ran—the best they were able to when they were connected to one another—all the way back to the dorms. When they were stuck waiting at crosswalks, Kurt jumped up and down a little bit to keep warm and chattered his teeth. The second the walk sign came on he pushed through every other New Yorker trying to get around and kept on running until they reached the next one.

Eventually, they made it back to the dorms. Kurt still didn't let go of his hold on Blaine even when they entered the building. He tugged Blaine all the way to Blaine's dorm and stood impatiently while Blaine hastily shoved his key and turned it in the lock.

Carter wasn't there. Maybe he was in the study lounge or out buying groceries or—

Oh, those are Kurt's lips, and they're pressed against Blaine's. Oh—and that's Kurt's tongue desperately seeking entrance to Blaine's mouth. That familiar feeling of _home _overwhelmed Blaine like he couldn't have dreamed it would and it was like his body took over, immediately opening his mouth and accepting Kurt and the taste of Kurt to consume him.

His theory was right. All he needed to do to fix that aching in his chest was kiss Kurt. Both of their hearts had been shattered and frozen; the shards were wedged comfortable all across their chests, leaving them with a constant feeling of icicles being driven into their skin from the inside out. It was a terrible feeling, one that Blaine never wanted to feel again.

But all they needed was each other. With every move of their lips, every flick of their tongues, every moan and sigh and breath into the other's mouth, their hearts were putting each other back together again. Parts of Blaine's were spilling into Kurt's body and vice versa, the broken pieces of their separate hearts completing each other and making one heart in two bodies. That was everything Blaine had wanted, everything he'd needed, everything he'd wished and hoped for since That Day.

Kurt was pushing him back, headed towards the bed; but then it was like Kurt suddenly remembered he had a top bunk, and he made a noise of annoyance before dropping them both to the ground, crawling on top of Blaine and laying so their entire bodies were melting together, just one.

"It's so cold," Kurt murmured against his lips.

"Mmhmm."

"Less clothes."

Blaine immediately started pushing Kurt's coat off of his body and struggling to get his arms out of his own.

"I don't hurt anymore."

Kurt left Blaine's lips to nuzzle the side of his face, planting soft kisses on his jaw, his ear, his eyebrows, his neck, everywhere.

"I know," Blaine whispered, running his hands up and down Kurt's back, relishing in the feel of _Kurt._

"You fixed me."

"We fixed each other."

Kurt pulled back, lifting his head up and just staring at Blaine. Instantly Blaine missed the feel of Kurt's lips on his, but this was more intimate than anything sexual ever could be. Just the way Kurt was looking into him, because he wasn't looking _at _Blaine, he was looking _into _Blaine. He was seeing Blaine's heart, his soul, his spirit; he was seeing Blaine's hopes and dreams and mistakes and insecurities and _love_; love for Laurel, love for Carter, love for _Kurt._

Then, abruptly, something changed in Kurt's expression. His eyes flickered for a second and it was like he was waking up from a dream, and suddenly Kurt was gone; he was standing up, retrieving his coat from its place on the floor in between Blaine's legs.

"Oh, my God."

Blaine was on his feet in a second, chasing Kurt as he headed for the door. "Kurt, wait." He reached out to grab Kurt's wrist and the moment their skin made contact Kurt pivoted on his heel. Blaine was shocked to find tears in his eyes.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"What wasn't supposed to happen like this?"

"Us! You and me. We're not ready; I'm not ready."

"Then why did you kiss me?"

Kurt sighed and threw up his hands in frustration. "I don't know! I was caught up in the moment and you and the weather—you know how I feel about snow and wintertime. I was so amazed at you and how much you've grown and changed as a person, and I'm so excited about that, but I'm just not ready yet. I'm not ready to do this again."

"But, Kurt—"

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Kurt said, shaking his head. Tears were falling on his cheeks in earnest now—literally falling, Blaine was surprised to see. They weren't steadily rolling in a soft stream; they were leaping from his eyes, jumping ship, throwing themselves onto Kurt's cheekbones as if they were committing suicide by leaping from his eyelashes.

Blaine flinched when the door slammed in his face.

_Fuck._

**Woo! I hope you liked it. :) I certainly do! I think this is actually one of my chapters. I don't know, maybe you guys hated it, but I loved it!**

**So, after this one, we have about 3 more chapters or so I'm estimating. The birthday party, new years, and the epilogue. That's just a rough guesstimation, though, so don't quote me on that later lol.**

**I just wanna say that I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this fic and I hope you all have enjoyed reading it! It's been a blessing to go on this ride with you all. :)**


	32. Happy Birthday

**So this story is really gaining momentum and readers now—which is great! I'm so excited! Hello new readers!—but it's almost over haha. Which sucks. But I'm still super excited about all of you new readers and all of you old ones that have been with this story from the beginning!**

**I'm actually really sad that this story will be ending soon. I've been writing it since Christmas so I'm not really sure what I'll do with myself when it's over. Start a new story, of course, but I'll miss these characters.**

**So, that being said, if there are any one-shot ideas you guys had for this 'verse, as I'm calling it now, let me know! I was thinking of doing little "outtakes" and things, or one-shots taken from this story but from other people's POV instead of Blaine's. Let me know your thoughts! :D**

_December 12, 2012_

"Blaine? What are you doing on the floor?"

He didn't even bother looking up to answer. "Trying to travel back in time."

"To when?"

"When Kurt and I were lying right here kissing about an hour ago."

After Kurt left, Blaine just threw himself right back onto the ground where they'd been and stayed there. He laid on his stomache and stared at the carpet, trying to figure out what the hell was going on because Kurt was sending more mixed signals than Laurel.

The sound of something dropping to the floor with a _thud _caused Blaine to throw a quick glance over to the door. Carter's mouth was hanging open, both grocery bags fallen out of his arms and on the floor. "Whoa. What?"

"Kurt. Me. Making out. Right here. Roughly an hour ago." Blaine settled his head back down with a sigh.

"Is that really all you're going to give me, man? I bought you sour cream and onion Pringles. Although I'm seriously debating whether you should be eating those now since apparently you're going around kissing Kurt again."

The prospect of sour cream and onion Pringles made Blaine perk up. He hopped up from the floor and picked up the grocery bags, settling them on his desk and looking for the green can. Upon finding them, he smiled at Carter and took them over to the beds, climbing up on his. "Thanks, C. That was so thoughtful of you."

"I told you I got your back. I just wish you'd have mine and tell me what the hell is going on."

"Quit being so dramatic. Have a seat and it can be story time."

Carter quickly shut the door and sat down cross-legged on the carpet right in front of the TV, raising

his eyebrows expectantly.

"Okay," Blaine began, "I was on my way to the Cancer Center today to see Alex and as I was leaving Kurt called and told me to hurry up and get there."

"So he was already there?"

"Yes. So I'm freaking out because my brother's in a freaking cancer treatment center so of course I think the worst. Then I get there and the doctor—who told me he always chooses his words wisely—says to me, 'I'm so sorry, Blaine. We did everything we could.'"

Carter's face drops instantly. "Fuck, Blaine, I'm so—"

"No, I'm not finished yet. But my mind went right where yours is. What else am I supposed to think when he says that to me? I started having a panic attack and then Kurt helped snap me out of it as always and it was great and Dr. Pierson had wanted to get me medicine or something and Kurt said that not everything needs to be fixed with medicine and that I have him. So, that's a good sign, right? He said I have him."

"That's definitely a green light."

"That's what I thought. Well apparently Alex is fine and what Dr. Pierson meant was that he had to discharge Alex to go home. He was apologizing because he didn't want to separate me from Alex and he was saying he did everything he could because he actually kept Alex a lot longer than necessary. So that explains that situation. But I'm okay with the fact that my parents took Alex and didn't tell me, you know? Because at least Alex is healthy; at least he's in remission and he'll be able to live life now. I'm just happy that he's alive." Blaine paused for a moment to see Carter staring at him like he'd never seen him before. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Kurt did that too."

Carter shook his head and smiled. "B, you've come so far and you don't even see it. A couple months ago if that had happened you would have gone out and gotten drunk. Yet you're _smiling _and saying you're _happy._ That's a drastic change."

Blaine shrugged. "This is what I've been working towards. This is how normal people handle hard situations. I'm just trying to be better."

"You're making mountains of progress in a really short time."

"Well, thanks." He shifted on the bed, uncomfortable under the praise. He'd been such a mess for so long it was a nice change to be praised for his actions. "Anyway, so when Kurt and I finally made it back through that crazy snowstorm outside, the second we got back here he kissed me. Literally the second I had the door open and noticed you weren't here he attacked me. We ended up on the floor and it was getting great and then…then he stopped. And he started freaking out saying he wasn't ready and it wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"What wasn't supposed to happen like this?"

"My question exactly. Us, apparently. He said he wasn't ready. What does that even mean?"

"That's a red light."

"But he said I have him. That's a green light. And he kissed me. That's a green light. Then all of a sudden he's not ready, and he gives me a red light? What am I supposed to think?"

The silence was answer enough. Carter didn't know any more than Blaine did. Finally, he said, "Look, B, I don't understand women; I just don't. Amanda is pretty easy but sometimes I get in trouble for the most random crap and I have no idea why. That's why we have Relationship Rules; it keeps me from getting in trouble because I have those to guide me and tell me what's allowed and what isn't."

"How does that have anything to do with Kurt and me? He's a guy."

"But right now he's acting like a girl. Who else in your life has ever sent you mixed messages?"

Oh. "Laurel."

"Exactly. And I don't mean he's acting like a girl in an offensive way; I just mean he doesn't know what he wants and it's screwing him up so he's going back and forth. Girls do that a lot."

"Yeah, I know. I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't be intentionally offensive and call Kurt a girl just because he's gay."

"Yup. Right you are, Blaine. So what are you going to do?"

Hmm. That was the question, wasn't it? What should he do now? Operation: GKB was absolutely still in effect, but just how effective would it be? Was Kurt actually open to the idea of getting back together or not?

The ache in his chest was still gone. It didn't hurt anymore, regardless of the fact that he and Kurt weren't back together for real. That, at least, was a sign that he was on the right track. Right?

"Maybe you should call Laurel," Carter suggested. "As you said, she gives mixed signals. Maybe she can help decipher Kurt's."

"That's a good idea. I need to talk to her about my birthday party anyway."

Blaine started climbing down off his bed and headed to his laptop, opening up Skype and signing on to see if Laurel was already on.

"Hey, speaking of, I'm sorry I can't make it to your party, Blaine."

"I know why you can't. I'm not going to be upset with you for not flying across the country just to karaoke for a few hours," Blaine replied with a smile.

He waited a couple minutes before checking the time and realizing that school hadn't let out for Dalton yet. It was only 3:15 in the afternoon. He'd have to wait until she got off work.

Great. He really didn't want to wait that long. This was a time sensitive issue; he needed help like _now._

He stared at his Skype screen helplessly, trying to figure out why he only had one girl friend and it was his legal guardian. He needed to make more girl friends so they could help with this kind of stuff. Actually, he needed to make more friends in general. He had a few acquaintances from class, but really, the only friends he had in New York were Carter and Kurt—and sometimes Jonathan, though he hadn't seen much of him lately.

Regardless, Blaine wanted more friends. He wanted people to talk to and hang out with. Kurt had friends; he saw a group of them all going to dinner that first day Blaine decided to get drunk on the street. If Kurt could make friends why couldn't he?

That's it. If Blaine wanted to make more friends, he'd have to go out and be proactive about it. With a sense of purpose, he slammed his laptop shut and grabbed his coat.

Carter jumped at the sudden noise and looked up from where he'd been putting groceries away. "Where are you going?"

"To make friends."

"It's about time," Carter snorted.

Blaine rolled his eyes and locked the door behind him.

…

Crap. This was a lot harder than Blaine initially thought.

He'd gone all over campus, braving the snowstorm that was beginning to let up outside—to the library, the study lounges, the cliché hangouts—and walked in circles at each one before deciding that he was just awkward and it would be awkward for him to randomly sit with a group of people and interrupt their discussion and ask to be a part of it. What if they were discussing something private amongst their group? Who was he to intrude?

So Blaine decided to call today a failure and headed to the café to drown his sorrows in a nice cup of coffee—_warm _coffee, since the snow was starting to give him frostbite.

But of course. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. Of course he'd go to his favourite campus café and get in line and look around the shop to see Kurt in a corner, books open and splayed all across the surface.

And of course he'd be so busy staring at Kurt that he wouldn't notice the line had moved up and it was his turn.

"Um, sir? Would you like to order?" The barista had raised her voice loud enough that it caught Kurt's attention. He looked up, made eye contact with Blaine, and promptly turned red and began packing up his books.

Blaine shook his head and stepped up to the register, making sure to take note of the name on her nametag. "Yeah, sorry about that, Anne, just a medium drip please."

As she punched in his order she frowned. "Do I know you?"

"You're wearing a nametag."

"Oh." She looked down as if she'd forgotten she was wearing it. "Right."

Blaine looked over at Kurt again to see that he was just about ready to leave. Crap. Blaine couldn't let Kurt leave without catching him first. He threw a $10 on the counter and muttered, "Keep the change," before running over to Kurt, who was just pushing his chair in and leaving the table. "Kurt, wait."

Kurt refused to meet his eyes. "I have to go. I just remembered that I have a—uh—study group to go to."

"Really? You're lying to me now?"

"I learned from the best," Kurt bit out. Blaine only had a second to feel the sting of that line before Kurt was sighing, sounding apologetic. "Fine. I don't. I just…I can't be around you right now."

One of the baristas making drinks behind the counter called out, _"Medium drip on the bar!" _Blaine ignored them and kept trying to talk to Kurt.

"Why not? I don't understand what's happening here. You keep letting me in and shutting me out; I'm getting whiplash."

"I'm sorry," Kurt sighed, still not making eye contact. "I just have things I need to figure out."

"Like what? I could help you."

"Being around you would just make it even harder for me."

"Make what harder? Kurt, just talk to me, quit giving me these vague answers."

"They're all I have left to give."

Ouch. "Come on, don't be like that. You kissed me earlier and then left like it was some big mistake, I think you owe me an explanation for that."

"I don't owe you anything," Kurt snapped, loud enough that a few patrons turned their heads. This time he was much more firm and he'd finally lifted his gaze to meet Blaine's. Kurt stared directly into his eyes and said, "I'm trying to figure out whether I can take this kind of heartbreak again."

That hurt. Now he'd gone and messed up Kurt and his ability to trust people he cared about. _Way to go, Blaine._

The same voice rang out again, _"Medium drip on the bar!"_

"You won't have to," Blaine replied, ignoring his coffee and trying to make his voice sound soft and reassuring. "I won't do this to us again."

"I never thought you'd do it to us the first time, Blaine. Why should I believe it wouldn't happen again? Look, this is hard for me, okay? I love you so much that it's hurting me, and I'm trying to figure out whether the love outweighs the hurt."

While Blaine stood there shocked and speechless, Kurt took that opportunity to slip around him and sneak out the door.

"_Medium drip STILL on the bar! Claim it or I'm tossing it!"_

He'd been so stupid and careless. He let his own crap get in the way of his relationship and he took care of it by any means necessary, no matter who got hurt in the process. _I love you so much that it's hurting me. _If that wasn't a punch in the gut Blaine didn't know what was.

"Hey, dude."

What was wrong with him? He'd gone and destroyed the only thing that mattered. All of those times during the summer where he'd vowed to never hurt Kurt and always protect him and do whatever it took to keep him around and now look. He'd broken every single promise he made to himself. And for what? A couple of hours of escape that weren't really any kind of escape at all because those hours were _awful. _There was always fighting and crying. What had been the point of it all?

"Hey. Curly Q. I think that's your coffee."

Blaine finally turned to the source of the voice. Four girls sitting in a circle of armchairs right beside Kurt's table were staring at him. The one who had spoken gestured to the bar where an angry looking barista was reaching for his coffee to throw it away.

"Wait! That's mine!" He ran over to the bar—shoving people in line in the process—and reached his hand across the counter. "I'm sorry. I was having a fight with my boyfrie—my ex. I'm sorry. Can I have my coffee now?"

She glared at him. "It's probably freezing now. Take it." She shoved it across the bar so hard it almost knocked over and spilled; luckily Blaine caught it in time.

Now he was at a loss. He'd just come to get a coffee to console him after his crappy day of making no friends at all; instead he got an angry cup of colder-than-lukewarm coffee and a fight with Kurt. Was he in the mood to sit alone in a coffee shop where half of the students had probably been eavesdropping and were now judging him? He should really just go back to Carter where he could go on and on about his awful day while his roommate half-listened and mainly played video games.

He began heading for the door when a girl called out, "You can sit with us."

Turning around he saw that it was the same girl in the corner with her friends who told him his coffee was about to be thrown out. One of the girls looked at the one next to her and got up from her chair to go sit in her friend's lap. The only one who had spoken to him so far pointed to the now empty chair.

Well, he _did _originally want to make female friends. And if they'd been paying attention to what just happened, maybe they could help him. Why not? Blaine settled down in the offered armchair and offered a small smile.

"My name's Blaine."

The same girl who'd been speaking to him said, "We know. We heard you talking to Kurt."

He studied the girls. The vocal one was blonde, but a dirtier blonde than Laurel. She had on jeans, beige Uggs, and a long-sleeved, blue and white striped shirt with a matching blue scarf around her neck. The girl in the chair next to hers was a brunette about the same shade as Kurt's, wearing jeans, pink Uggs, and a pink pullover sweater—cashmere if Blaine's eye was as sharp as Kurt's—with a matching pink scarf. The two girls in the chair next to him were both a darker brunette with black Uggs, black pants, one of them was wearing a red scarf and a purple shirt and the other girl a purple scarf with a red shirt.

"Do you know Kurt?" Blaine asked once he reminded himself that these girls were being nice and he shouldn't be judging their fashion decisions—(Even though Uggs were a household shoe and should never be worn in public. Ever.)

_Oh, God, when did I turn into Kurt?_

"No." Laurel's look-a-like smiled sweetly at him.

Pink Power Ranger rolled her eyes and added, "Jane is an auditory learner. If she hears it she knows it. Your conversation was in her hearing range so now she has the whole thing recorded in her memory word for word. Including names."

Blaine nodded. "And you are…?"

"Lucy. Like I said, she's Jane. The two cuddling on the chair next to you are Nicole and Amy." Lucy gestured to each one so Blaine would know who was who even though they were tangled up in each other. "Now that they're in each other's laps good luck trying to keep them from kissing every 5 seconds."

"It's nice to meet you," Blaine said, laughing when he glanced over at Nicole and Amy and caught them in one of their apparently numerous kisses.

"We heard about your problems with Kurt and we want to help," Jane said.

"Correction," Lucy cut in, "Jane eavesdropped on what was obviously a private conversation between you and your ex-but-possibly-soon-to-be-current boyfriend and decided to meddle in your life and relationship."

"No, that's fine," Blaine assured them. "I'm relieved actually. I need some advice and I don't really have any friends who can help."

"As in you don't know any girls," Lucy translated.

"Yeah."

"Lucky for you, we're experts at relationships," Nicole told him, smiling and kissing Amy's forehead.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Clearly."

Blaine decided he liked Lucy. Her sarcasm and snark reminded him of Kurt.

"So, let's see if I caught everything," Jane started. "You and Kurt were together; it was serious, enough that the big L word was exchanged. You broke his heart in a messy, messy break-up. You've been trying to fix it because you want him back, which is obvious, but he hasn't been sure. You two kissed today but then he freaked because he has things he needs to figure out—like whether he can move on from the hurt you've caused him—and you're confused because he kissed you so you don't know where you stand now. Am I right?"

Blaine blinked. "Exactly." How was this girl _that _good? She'd only overheard a vague conversation between him and Kurt, yet somehow she managed to get all of that. Maybe it was just a girl thing.

"What caused the messy, messy break-up that broke Kurt's heart?" Amy asked.

He debated not telling them. He really did. But then he looked at Amy, who was so innocent and looked so earnest and kind; he looked at all of the girls who looked like they genuinely just wanted to help him. And if he was going to get better for Kurt, he needed to get used to admitting his issues to people and working through them with others. Knowing Kurt, if they ever got back together, he'd want Blaine to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Although that's the last thing on the planet that Blaine ever wants to do, for Kurt, he'd do anything.

Might as well start here.

"I, uh…I had some problems with alcohol. And I'm not a nice person when I'm drunk."

Nicole nodded. "How bad was it?"

"Really bad. Towards the end, I was getting trashed every night, and Kurt would come take care of me but I was always so mean to him…Then I'd start crying and he'd hold me until I passed out."

"So you had an abusive relationship," Lucy said bluntly.

Blaine immediately reacted to the term he was all too familiar with. "What? No. God, no. I never…I never hit him." _But I could have. _

"An abusive relationship isn't always physical," Jane said. "Sometimes it's verbal abuse; if you were really that mean to Kurt all the time, it was a verbally abusive relationship. And judging by what Kurt was saying, it was probably emotionally abusive, too."

"It wasn't all the time, though," Blaine tried. He couldn't be hearing this; it couldn't be true. He'd worked so hard on never hitting Kurt, because that had always been his greatest fear. His whole goal had been to never abuse Kurt; it turns out that he'd been so focused on one facet of abuse that he didn't even see he was doing others. God, poor Kurt. "It was only when I was drunk."

"So alcohol is the catalyst. Take it out of the equation," Nicole suggested.

"I have. I haven't had a drop to drink since Halloween, the night we broke up. I've been working on myself and making myself a better person, for him and for myself."

"Then if he knows that—and I assume he does—the ball is in his court." Lucy shook her head and took a sip of her coffee before continuing. "Look, Kurt obviously still loves you. Otherwise, why would he have kissed you? He wants to be with you, but he's scared. He's scared of getting hurt again; scared of watching you fall apart again. When you were having issues, you turned to a bottle instead of turning to him like you should have. Now he feels like he's not the most important thing in your life. What's to say that you won't find something else you love more than him a second time? You could do drugs or find another man, because to Kurt, if he's not good enough to keep you from alcohol, he's not good enough to keep you from anything else.

"This isn't just about you being mean or hurtful or an alcoholic. This is about Kurt's self-esteem and Kurt's willingness to put his heart in your hands again even though he knows that you've broken it before and you could very well break it again if you wanted to. The ball is in his court, but you have all of the power."

Jane folded her legs underneath her on the chair and added her opinion. "You put Kurt through hell. He said himself that he has nothing left to give, which means he gave you everything. And if he's saying he has nothing left to give, that means you still have it. It's up to you to decide what to do with it. You have his broken heart, you need to fix it."

"How do I do that?" Blaine asked.

This was a lot to take in, and Blaine just wanted to know how to repair the damage he'd done.

"Show him that _he's _the one you love," Nicole suggested, stroking Amy's hair fondly and kissing the top of her head every now and then. "You have to show to him that you love him more than anything this world could ever offer you. You left him for alcohol; it doesn't matter if you didn't physically leave him, that's what you did. That kind of abandonment leaves a wound that doesn't heal overnight. Just like you're working on yourself, he's working on himself too. He's trying to forgive you and give you a second chance, but you have to show him that you're good for it. You have to show him that you won't throw this chance away too. At the end of the day, you can tell a person you love them all the time, but after a while it loses its meaning if you don't have actions that show it."

He just had to show Kurt that he loved him; that Kurt was his everything. That seemed simple enough. That was, after all, the central idea to Operation: GKB.

"I think I know what to do," Blaine said. "But let me run it by you first. It's called Operation: GKB."

…

_December 17, 2012_

The morning of his birthday, Blaine awoke to the beautiful vision of sunlight streaming through the windows and Laurel's face about an inch from his, her eyes staring into his.

"Good morning?" he groaned, making it a question, though he was more asking why she was in his personal space so early in the morning.

She just smiled. "Good morning, birthday boy. Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"Am I the first one to tell you?"

"I just woke up. So that's a yes."

"Good."

He rolled his eyes. Laurel simply pulled her head back and laid down next to him on his bed, giving him his personal space back.

Kurt had been ignoring him ever since their run-in at the coffee shop, so he had no way of knowing whether Soulmate would be coming to his birthday party tonight, but he did know that all of Kurt's friends would be there. After he invited Finn, he realized he had no one else's contact information, so Finn volunteered to spread the word. Surely, Rachel or Finn could convince Kurt to come. Maybe even Wes or David, who apparently spent a lot of time talking to Kurt, would talk him into attending the party tonight.

"You have now officially been on the planet for 19 years, Blainers. How does that make you feel?"

"The same as I felt yesterday when I was officially on the planet for 18 years and 355 days."

Laurel reached a hand across to shove his shoulder but ended up attacking his face. "Shut up."

With her palm and fingers pressed against his nose and mouth, he said, "It's my birthday I can do what I want."

"Don't make me ground you and cancel your party."

"You wouldn't do that; you've already spent a lot of money on my party."

"Touché."

When it was just going to be Blaine and a handful of his closer friends at Dalton, it wasn't going to be a problem to have the party at their house. But then he invited all of Kurt's glee friends and added a few more of his own friends to the list, and now there was no way everyone would fit in his and Laurel's small house. So, Laurel suggested they move the party to a local pizza place that had karaoke nights every Wednesday. With a little extra cash incentive, they agreed to host the party and hook up the karaoke equipment that night.

Once again, Laurel was doing everything in her power to make Blaine happy.

"Blaine?"

"Mmm?"

"What would you say to adding one more person to that guest list?"

"Who?"

"Bryan."

Blaine cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "Who's Bryan?"

"He's just this guy…I've been on a few dates with him and I thought I'd bring him to your birthday party, introduce you two, see how you guys got along…"

"Oh, my God." Blaine shot up and stared down at his cousin. "You're seeing someone? And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want to tell you until it looked to be more than just a couple dates, you know? I wanted to make sure it was actually going somewhere before I dragged you into it."

"So if you're wanting us to meet, that means it's getting serious, right?"

Laurel smiled shyly. "Yes."

Wow. Blaine had hardly _ever _seen Laurel like this. She was so shy and giddy, like a school girl with a crush. It was nice seeing her this happy because of the prospect of a new relationship. Blaine hadn't really seen her date much when he was growing up with her.

"Well, tell me everything. What's he look like? What does he do for a living? What dates have you guys been on? What does he like to do? I want to know absolutely _everything._"

Laurel giggled and sat up, taking Blaine's hands in hers. "Okay. He's around your height; he has black hair and green eyes—which you know is my _dream _combination. He works at the bank as one of the guys that handles loans and stuff. So far, we've done the classic dinner-and-a-movie, he took me to the aquarium, I took him to the batting cages. We've just hung out a lot having simple, casual dates, like having a movie night here at the house or going for some frozen yogurt and chilling out at the park.

"I like him, Blaine. We have fun together. He makes me laugh and smile and keeps me living in the moment. He's showed me how to appreciate the little things in life, you know? We have a lot in common, like sci-fi movies and learning anything and everything about World War II. He was surprised when I took him to the batting cages when it was Ladies' Choice Date Night; I guess he thought I was going to do something dumb and cliché like drag him to a chick flick. He likes that I'm constantly doing things that surprise him."

"You certainly are unpredictable," Blaine laughed. He was happy to see Laurel so happy, but he had one more thing he had to ask. "Does he know that I'm gay?"

"Duh," Laurel scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You really think I would date someone who wasn't okay with you being gay, Blaine? I told him that on the first date. I said, 'Look, I have a younger cousin who is a freshman in college. He's my whole world and he's gay and if you have a problem with it we can get the check right now.'"

"What did he say?"

"He told me that he has no problem with gay people and that he didn't understand why some people do. I don't think any of his family members are gay, but he has quite a few gay friends, or so he told me. He's really looking forward to meeting you tonight, but I told him I had to check with you beforehand. So he can come to your party tonight?"

Blaine engulfed his cousin in a hug. "Of course he can. I can't wait to meet him, Laur. He sounds great."

And Blaine truly meant it.

Tonight was going to be great. He'd get to meet Bryan and have fun with friends he didn't get to see often and whether Kurt showed up or not, it promised to be a good night of silly karaoke with good people.

After his conversation with Lucy, Jane, Nicole, and Amy at the coffee shop, he told them all about his party but knew they'd all decline; they were native New Yorkers who all lived in an apartment together and were seniors at NYU. They wouldn't fly out to Ohio for a random kid's birthday. They did, however, give him their address and phone numbers so that he could stay in contact with him. Once they knew he didn't have any girl friends, they were determined to be his go-to group of girls. Even if two of those girls were dating each other.

Still, he knew that all of New Directions was coming, along with Wes, David, Nick, Jeff, Thad, Trent, and a few other guys from Dalton that weren't Warblers but were still good friends of his. The location for the party, Pizza Palace, would be packed tonight with about 30 people, give or take. It was definitely going to be a great party.

Blaine spent his day before the party just being lazy around the house and waiting. Eventually, he took a shower, styled his hair, put on the outfit he spent a good half-hour picking out the night before, and sat on the couch to wait some more. The party started at 7pm, and it was only 6 o'clock. But he should get there early, right? He should get there early to maybe set up and make sure that anyone else who maybe showed up early wasn't there before the guy hosting it all. Plus, Bryan was meeting them there, and if he wanted to make a good impression on Bryan he couldn't be late to his own party—(and Bryan would probably be early to try and make a good impression on _Blaine)._

Regardless of the fact that Blaine was ready early, Laurel took her time getting ready. Blaine smirked because he knew she was only trying this hard because Bryan would be there and she wanted to look her best for him. He let her do her hair and make-up, though, and helped her find a dress that was just right. At 6:45, they finally grabbed their coats and headed out.

They arrived just before the party was set to start. A couple cars were already parked outside, but their occupants waited until Blaine and Laurel were inside before they headed in as well.

Slowly but surely, people from Dalton and McKinley started showing up. By 7:45, everyone had arrived, minus Kurt. Rachel was quick to assure him that Kurt _was _coming, but Blaine would only believe that when he saw it, and so far Kurt was nowhere to be found.

When Laurel came up to him as he was talking to Nick and Jeff with a black-haired guy on her arm, he quickly told them he'd catch up with them later and shook Bryan's hand, looking the man up and down to make sure he was good enough for Laurel.

"Do I pass inspection?" Bryan joked. He was nervous, though; Blaine could tell.

"To be determined," Blaine replied.

Then they both burst into laughter and everything was easy.

After talking with Bryan for about 10 minutes, Blaine decided that he liked the guy and that he was perfect for Laurel. So, Blaine winked at Laurel, his stamp of approval. When she started jumping up and down and clapping and squealing, Bryan asked what she was so happy about, so to cover she said that she had gotten the best idea and that Bryan and Blaine should do a duet on the karaoke machine.

It was a feat to get Rachel to hand over the microphone, but after a reminder of, _This is my birthday party, Rachel,_ they were able to get up on stage and do a duet of "Livin' On A Prayer." They did a great job and their performance was well-received and earned a hearty round of applause at the end. When Blaine hopped off the stage he was feeling great, overwhelmed with the rush of the performance and the pure joy he got from singing his heart out.

The feel of a hand clapping Blaine on the shoulder had him twirling around, a huge grin still plastered on his face. It faltered a little at the sight of the person who'd touched him, but remained in place as he threw his arms around the figure.

"Burt! I didn't know you were coming!"

"Maybe that's because you didn't invite me, kid. That's okay, I invited myself."

Blaine laughed and squeezed Burt Hummel once more before letting go and taking a step back. "It's good to see you. I'm glad you came, even if I was a total idiot and forgot to invite you."

"Eh. You've done worse. Carole's around here somewhere, probably at the salad bar since Kurt won't let her touch anything else ever since she started that stupid diet."

"Kurt's here?"

It occurred to Blaine that if Burt, Carole, and Finn were all here, Kurt had to be, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. Finn had arrived thirty minutes ago, without Kurt, so he'd accepted the fact that Kurt wasn't coming then. Just because Burt and Carole were here didn't mean Blaine was going to fool himself only to be brought down again. He was just happy to have his pseudo parents here.

Burt nodded. "He didn't want to draw your attention. He's still…well, you know."

"He told you what happened?"

"Sorta." Burt eyed him suspiciously. "You got a plan?"

Blaine smiled. "You know it. Now that I know Kurt's here I can move onto the next phase."

"It better be good, kid."

It certainly would be. Kurt coming to his party was the last thing he had expected but the first thing he had hoped for. It was exactly what he needed to really kick Operation: GKB up a notch. It would be the thing that could make or break him in this.

So, with that in mind, he took a deep breath and waited until Rachel was done with her solo—her fifth one of the night so far—and jumped onto the stage, taking the microphone. He scanned the crowd of friends for Kurt but didn't find him; that didn't deter him, though. Kurt was there somewhere.

"Uh, hi, everyone!" he said into the microphone with a nervous smile and laugh. "I hope everyone is having fun." Everyone cheered and raised their slice of pizza or cup of soda. "Awesome. So, I have a song that I want to sing to someone tonight. If you're in this room, that probably means you're a close enough friend to me that you know who it is." He took a second to chuckle and glance around the room, and it was in that moment that he took to sweep the room with his eyes that he found Kurt, standing against the wall in the corner, eyes on Blaine on the stage. Blaine stared back and continued, "And the guy I'm singing this to…he knows who he is."

With that, Blaine nodded to the guy operating the karaoke machine and gripped the microphone, then began to sing.

_A drop in the ocean_

_A change in the weather_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together_

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert_

_But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven_

As the piano of the song really started to play, Blaine saw Kurt's eyes flash with something, but they were too far away for him to really figure out what it was, so he kept on singing.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend_

_If you don't love me pretend_

_A few more hours then it's time to go_

_As my train rolls down the east coast_

_I wonder how you keep warm_

_It's too late to cry_

_Too broken to move on_

_And still I can't let you be_

_Most nights I hardly sleep_

_Don't take what you don't need from me_

The song continued and Blaine maintained eye contact with Kurt the entire time. He wished he could understand the expression on Kurt's face. Was this making things worse? Was this the one grand romantic gesture that would be enough to get Kurt back? It was too early to tell, so he just proceeded to pour his heart out through the song.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore_

_No_

_No_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore_

_No_

_No_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away_

_Oh_

_Oh_

_A drop in the ocean_

_A change in the weather_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together_

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert_

_But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven_

_You are my heaven_

When the song ended, there was silence, and then people started hesitantly clapping. It was quiet applause, but Blaine wasn't looking for their approval, he was looking for Kurt's. He smiled graciously at his friends and family before stepping down off the stage and heading straight for Kurt.

To his surprise, Kurt didn't walk away as he approached.

"Hi," Blaine said.

"Hi," Kurt said.

"It's good to see you. I'm glad you decided to come."

"Well, it is your birthday. So happy birthday."

Blaine chanced a small smile. "So my birthday present is you coming to my party?"

Kurt didn't answer and looked down at the ground, but Blaine could swear that was the ghost of a smile on his lips. When he looked back up at him, he said, "That was beautiful," pointing to the stage.

"Oh," Blaine turned around as if he'd see himself singing the song. "Thank you. I was hoping you'd like it."

"I did. Very much."

It was only then, when Blaine was able to relax and felt like just maybe things might be okay, that he noticed what Kurt was wearing. "Is that my Dalton hoodie?"

"Yes," Kurt sighed, almost sheepishly. "You did give it to me. And I thought it was only fitting I wear it to your birthday party. I can give it back if you'd like."

"No, you keep it. I like it better on you."

Kurt stuck his hands in the front pocket and shrugged his shoulders. "Thanks."

They stood there in silence for a moment, the only sounds being people eating and talking and Finn and Rachel doing a duet to some love song.

"Well, I should go find my dad," Kurt finally said.

_No. Stay with me. Please. Please just tell me this was enough. Tell me you understand now. Tell me we can be together again. Tell me you love me and it's worth any pain we could ever go through._

"Okay."

Kurt stepped forward and placed a gentle kiss to Blaine's cheek that lingered before heading off.

Well, it was better than Blaine expected. Kurt could have reacted in any number of ways. He could have stormed off. He could have cried. He could have been angry, and yelled at Blaine in front of all his friends, saying that he was crazy if he thought a song could fix everything that happened.

But that was the great thing about him and Kurt. Music was their shared language. All of the things they'd never be able to say to each other, they could sing to each other and it would be understood so much better than anything they could say. That's why the integral part of Operation: GKB was finding the perfect song to sing to Kurt; because it would say all of the things that Blaine wanted to say but didn't know how. That song was his last hope of getting his point across.

The rest of the party went by fast. He mingled and had fun with his friends and Kurt's friends—who repeatedly reminded him that they were _his _friends too now. Wes and David only reprimanded him twice for losing touch with them while things got crazy, but overall they were just glad to see him doing so well.

Eventually, the night started to wind down. People started to leave, slowly funneling out. Blaine hadn't seen Kurt at all since their short conversation, and when Burt came up to Blaine to tell him goodbye, Blaine asked him if he'd seen Kurt. The man just smiled and said, "Happy birthday, Blaine," then left. Which told him nothing at all. He figured Kurt probably snuck out and went home so as to not distract Blaine from his other party guests.

By around midnight, it was just him, Laurel, and Bryan. Bryan offered to drive Laurel home, which didn't make sense to Blaine because Laurel had been the one to drive Blaine there so why was he being left behind? Laurel just placed the keys in his hand, kissed his forehead, and left with Bryan.

So Blaine just sat at one of the tables, twirling the keys around on the table, when he heard the sound of someone tapping the microphone. It was midnight and everyone was gone. Why hadn't they taken down the karaoke equipment yet?

But then Blaine looked up to see Kurt standing on the stage.

Kurt didn't say anything. He simply nodded at the karaoke man who started the music.

_I still remember the look on your face_

_Lit through the darkness at 1:58_

_The words that you whispered_

_For just us to know_

_You told me you loved me_

_So why did you go away?_

_Away_

Kurt was singing to him. Soulmate was up there on that stage singing to him. Blaine made sure to pay attention to every single word.

_But now I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

_I never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

No. No, this was all wrong. They weren't over, there was no ending. They'll never have a last kiss. Why was Kurt singing this song to him? It was so wrong.

_Because I love your handshake, meeting my father_

_I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets_

_How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something_

_There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions_

_And I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

_So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep_

_And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe_

_And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are_

_Hope it's nice where you are_

Blaine wasn't forgetting him. What was this? No. Blaine could never forget him. Was this why Kurt kept in touch with his friends and Laurel and still visited Alex? Was this why Kurt kept his old sweatshirt? Was Kurt just trying to hold onto what they had? Because they could have it back. All Kurt had to do was say yes and they could have it all back. It didn't have to be the end.

_And I hope the sun shines_

_And it's a beautiful day_

_And something reminds you_

_You wish you had stayed_

_You can plan for a change in weather and time_

_But I never planned on you changing your mind_

_So I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

Without even knowing what he was doing, Blaine maintained eye contact with Kurt, but stood up and started walking towards the stage. Kurt continued singing, but Blaine was heading towards him.

_Just like our last kiss_

_Forever the name on my lips_

_Forever the name on my lips_

He'd reached the stage now; he climbed the few steps one at a time and approached Kurt, standing directly in front of him.

_Just like our last…_

Blaine kissed him. Without the slightest hesitation, he lifted his hands and grasped Kurt's face and kissed him. He felt Kurt reluctant against him for a second before he finally gave in and threw his arms around Blaine's neck, sighing against Blaine's lips.

"It doesn't have to be the last kiss," Blaine whispered, pulling away. "I never want us to have a last kiss."

"Blaine—"

"You _are _something I miss. You're the only thing I miss. It doesn't have to end like this, Kurt—_we _don't have to end like this. I still want you; I still love you. All I've wanted ever since That Day was to have you back. I never wanted to lose you."

They were so close their noses were touching, their breath was mingling, and they were looking into each other's eyes as if that was the only thing they had left in the world to do. After a few minutes, Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Blaine's.

"You never lost me," Kurt murmured.

Blaine's heart did a little flip inside his chest at Kurt's words. He sent up a silent prayer that this wasn't just a dream; that this was actually happening; that Kurt might be forgiving him.

He wanted to pinch himself, but he didn't want to lost contact with Kurt, so instead he leaned forward and kissed him again. It started out soft but turned much more urgent, both boys needing to know that this moment wasn't going to slip away from them; that this was really happening and they could hold onto each other for as long as they wanted.

Kurt broke the kiss and said, "I love you."

"What about the hurt?" Blaine asked, gazing into Kurt's eyes.

"The only thing that hurt was not being with you. Right now, in your arms, I don't feel anything but happy."

Blaine kissed Kurt again, because he could _do _that. A minute later he pulled away and said, "This is the best birthday present you could have possibly given me."

"I'm glad, because it was a huge sacrifice to wear a hoodie in public."

"I appreciate that," Blaine laughed. He ran a hand down Kurt's face, caressing it, and brought his other hand to Kurt's chest, feeling his heartbeat strong and sure against his palm. "You know, I had a deal with your dad that I'd be good enough for you, to win you back, by New Year's."

"I know. But you're not really known for your outstanding patience—that was one of the first things you told me about yourself—and watching how you handled Alex and just how much you've grown and changed already…Blaine, you have a lot of issues, you know that, and you still have a long way to go, but you've already accomplished so much. You make me proud to be with you now."

Blaine's heart soared. "You're with me now?"

Kurt smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Blaine's nose. "I'm with you. Forever and always."

…

_Operation: GKB_

_1) Throw a karaoke party_

_2) Invite Kurt_

_3) Serenade Kurt with heartfelt song expressing every emotion about your situation_

_4) Approach Kurt after song to gauge reaction_

_5) Kiss and make up_

_NOTE: If unsuccessful by Step 4, begin again at Step 1 with different song until you finally find one that works and win that boy back you shithead because he's the best you're ever gonna get._

_Dumbass._

**Obviously, Carter added the note at the end. Obviously.**

**:) I hope you guys like this chapter! I really, really do. It's actually my new favourite! :D It's also fitting that I've finished it and posted it today, May 15, because today is my BIRTHDAYYY! :D I'm 20 years old now. Woo hoo!**

**So next chapter will be Christmas break and New Year's and it will be all cute and fluffy and KLAINE IS BACK so that's exciting stuff man. :) Then it will be the epilogue which will be really sad and depressing—not the content of the chapter, just the fact that the story will be over. The epilogue in itself will be super cute and SUPER long so watch out for that because there's a lot I want to include in it.**

**The songs used in this chapter were A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope and Last Kiss by Taylor Swift. If any of you are Swifty fans out there I hope you caught my little Swifty pun at the end there ;)**

**Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! If so you should totally leave me a review. Especially since it's my birthday. That would be the best birthday present ever.**

**Kthxbye. :)**


	33. The Day Blaine Became A Man

**Ahhh! I'm so excited that so many of you have loved this story and loved the last chapter. I definitely have enjoyed writing it! I am super sad that this is the last real chapter and then there's only the epilogue.**

**However, the epilogue will be called the EPIClogue and take a long time to write because it's going to be extremely long. So you guys have that to look forward to for a while at least. :)**

_December 23, 2012_

The days following Kurt and Blaine's reunion were spent, for the large part, in one of their bedrooms. All of their time wasn't necessarily spent doing anything sexual—although there was plenty of that—but it was mostly just enjoying being in each other's company again. It had been so long since they had really just touched each other and lay with each other and held each other that now it was all they wanted to do.

The first 3 days were spent at Laurel and Blaine's house, but now they were at Kurt's house and in Kurt's bed. The sun had long since come up but Blaine didn't care. He was content to lie in bed with Kurt for the rest of his life.

Kurt stirred in his arms and blinked awake. "Mmm. Hi."

"Hi," Blaine murmured, kissing the top of Kurt's head where it was resting on his chest.

"Is that going to be our new thing? We say 'hi' to each other all the time?"

"It could be. A way of always greeting each other like it's the first time so that we know there will never be a last."

"Ah, but we never said 'hi' to each other the first time we met."

"Really?" Blaine thought back to that day and found that Kurt was right; they never actually said 'hi.' He opened his mouth to tell Kurt that he was right, but closed it again when he also remembered a different day with them. A day when he was talking with Kurt and Burt and discussing the first day they'd met. He still hadn't heard Kurt's side of that. Maybe this was his opening. "I don't remember every little detail that well. Why don't you remind me?"

His ribcage vibrated with Kurt's laughter against him. "Nice try, Soulmate. I know full well you remember that day very clearly."

Damnit. Blaine huffed in annoyance, causing Kurt to chuckle again and squeeze his waist. "You'll tell me your side eventually, right?"

"One day, when it's the right moment, I will regale you the story of how we met from the eyes of the one and only Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."

"I'm holding you to that, you know."

Kurt yawned, looking like the most adorable cat Blaine had ever seen, and sighed, "Mmk," before snuggling further into Blaine's chest. Blaine responded immediately, tightening his arms around Kurt and pulling him even closer into his side, leaning his head down to place a kiss on Kurt's hair and just letting his lips linger, breathing in the scent of Kurt's shampoo.

"God, I missed this," Blaine breathed. Kurt looked up at him curiously but with a soft smile on his face. "I missed the way your body pressed against mine feels like puzzle pieces being slotted together; I missed the way the scent of your shampoo smells like home; I missed the way your laughter sounds like the music for the soundtrack of my life."

"Watch it, Romeo, you're straddling the line of romantic and cheesy here."

Blaine playfully clapped Kurt on the back. "Hush, you. It's been far too long since I've been allowed to be romantic with you."

"We barely lasted a month and a half before we got back together."

"And that was a month and a half too long without you."

With the way Kurt was acting this morning, Blaine was starting to get a little insecure that maybe Kurt hadn't wanted to get back together after all; maybe it was just the heat of the moment and now he wanted back out but he didn't know how to do it.

"Kurt?"

"Mmm?"

"You wanted to get back together, right? You and me, this is what you want, isn't it?"

Kurt's brow furrowed; he reached a hand up and began tucking Blaine's curls gently behind his ears, more a sign of intimacy and affection than actually trying to tame the spring-loaded Tigger tails on Blaine's head. "Of course it is. Why would you ask that?"

"I'm just making sure. You seem so…nonchalant about everything today."

"I don't…" Kurt took a breath and tried again. "I don't want you to think I can't survive without you."

"Wh—"

"Just let me explain. I don't want you to think I can't survive without you because I don't want you to know how much that's true. The time we were apart was the hardest time of my life, apart from when my mom died, and it was killing me to not be with you. But that's behind us now and I don't want to dwell on it and I don't want you to beat yourself up over it."

If what Kurt wanted was to move on, then that's what he'd do. If Kurt wanted them to not dwell on it, then that's what they'd do. If Kurt didn't want him to beat himself up over what happened, then he wouldn't. Simple as that. From now on, he was putting Kurt's needs and desires far above his own.

Because that's what love is.

"Okay," Blaine said, scratching Kurt's back with one hand and bringing the other up to catch Kurt's hand that had been running through his hair. He laced their fingers together and kissed Kurt's knuckled before bringing their entwined hands to his chest.

"Okay?" Kurt didn't look convinced, like he was waiting for Blaine to go against him.

Blaine simple smiled and repeated, "Okay."

"You're not going to talk about how it's all your fault?"

"Nope."

"You're not going to rehash all of the details and go through every bad thing you did to prove you're unworthy?"

"Nope."

"You're not going to—" 

"Kurt," Blaine laughed, "stop. I'm not going to do any of that. I'm fine, okay? You said we were moving on and you didn't want me to beat myself up over it so that's what's happening."

"Are you just mentally self-deprecating and not telling me?"

"Relationship Rule Number One, Kurt."

Kurt smiled softly. "No lying."

"No lying," Blaine repeated.

Even after all the times Blaine had adamantly refused to have Relationship Rules with Kurt, and all the times he'd made fun of Carter for having them with Amanda, they ended up setting some. There weren't many, but number one on the list was no lying. That was the most important thing.

"So you're really okay with the fact that I was dying without you?"

"No," Blaine sighed. He wasn't, and since they'd just stated RR1, he wasn't going to lie. He had to be honest. He could, though, elaborate in his honesty. "I'm not okay with the fact that I put you through so much pain. That knowledge will haunt me for the rest of my life, Kurt. But so will what happened with Trevor. The important thing is that I learn from my mistakes and move on and know not to let history repeat itself. We had to live without each other for a while—and believe me that was as much torture for me as it was for you—but we're together again and we have each other now and that's all that matters."

The Love Look was back in full force, and it made Blaine's stomache flip even more now because even after everything they'd gone through and everything he'd done, Kurt still looked at him like that.

"I love you," Kurt said simply.

"And I love you."

"And I would love it if the two of you ever got out of bed," a gruff voice said from the doorway.

Blaine almost jumped right out of Kurt's arms, but Kurt was still on his chest, anchoring him to the bed. "Dad, you could always knock, you know."

"I don't have to knock. It's my house. Technically every room in this house is my room. I don't have to knock on my own room."

"Is there any particular reason that you have come barging into your/my room?"

Burt gave Blaine the evil eye. "You two have been in bed for the past 3 days. I gave you guys that time to be all lovey-dovey because you're back together now and finally putting us all out of our misery, but it's time you got up and did something. It's the day before Christmas Eve. Don't you have plans with family, Blaine?"

"Not really. The only family I have is in this house, plus Laurel. But she's doing her Christmas thing with Bryan today because Bryan is doing his Christmas thing with his family tomorrow and the next day. So being with Kurt is the extent of my family plans."

Kurt squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. "Aww. You think of me as your family?"

"Of course I do," Blaine scoffed, as if the very idea that he might think of Kurt as anything less offended him.

"What about your…uh—your brother?"

Kurt tensed; Blaine guessed he was already preparing himself for the emotions that question was sure to stir up.

"_Dad."_

"No, it's okay, Kurt. He has a right to ask. Burt, I haven't seen my brother since he was discharged from the hospital about 2 weeks ago. My parents took him home and haven't called or left a message or sent a letter to any effect of my welcome so, no, I have no plans to see him."

Burt stood awkwardly in the doorway for a second, seeming to contemplate something before reaching a decision. "Do you want to?"

"Absolutely," he answered automatically. "I miss Alex every day. But there's nothing I can do."

"Yes, there is. Get dressed, the both of ya; and put your coats on, it's snowing."

"Dad, we can't just—"

"We can just, Kurt, and we will. You wanna hear who can't just? Blaine's parents can't just take his brother away from him after he saved that kid's life. There's gotta be some kinda law against it and if they don't let him see his own brother we're gonna find it."

Before either of the boys in the bed could argue further, Burt left the room. Blaine just lay there in shock. Was this really happening? He never really thought that it was possible to see Alex again, yet here Burt Hummel was presenting him with that opportunity.

It seemed too good to be true. 

Then again, a month ago, having Kurt back in his arms seemed too good to be true. But that was happening.

Maybe he could actually have a happily ever after ending.

"Are you going to do it?" Kurt asked.

Neither of them had moved yet, so Blaine only had to tip his head down a bit to make eye contact with his boyfriend. "Am I going to do what?"

"Get dressed. Go with my dad. Try to see Alex."

"Yeah. What do I have to lose? They're already keeping him from me. It couldn't hurt to try and end that."

Kurt leaned up and kissed his nose. "Sounds like a plan."

They both got up after that and dressed quickly. Blaine still had some clothes here from their summer together so he had a good variety to choose from in order to put a coherent outfit together. He was even able to get Kurt's approval on the first try, which is something that had never happened before. But he knew the moment he met his new group of girl friends in the Uggs—The Uggs Society as he called them—that he'd finally figured out how to judge fashion like Kurt.

Finally, they were ready, and when they went downstairs Burt was sitting in his armchair, reading the newspaper, but keys in hand and at the ready for whenever they came down. The moment he heard their footsteps around the corner he shot up and set the newspaper on the coffee table.

"It's about time. What'd you two do, lay in bed for another hour?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You know it takes a while to look like this, Dad."

Whereas Burt snorted at his son's drive for perfection, Blaine could only smile, because he'd missed how impeccable Kurt was always looking.

Now that they were together again and sleeping together, Kurt was able to sleep again, though the nightmares were still there. The dark circles were beginning to fade away, but it was going to take a lot longer with Kurt waking in the middle of the night screaming at the top of his lungs for Blaine to come back. Blaine would always have to wake Kurt up and hold him and reassure him that he was there and he wasn't ever going to leave him again while Kurt just sobbed against his shoulder, clawing at his back like he would leave at any second.

Blaine fidgeted in his seat the entire drive, trying to calm down as he gave Burt directions to his old house. There was no doubt in his mind his parents hadn't moved and he'd remember that address for the rest of his life. Throughout the whole drive, Blaine's legs were bouncing up and down and he was rubbing his hands together, clenched between his thighs. Eventually, Kurt placed a hand on his knee and gave him a pointed look that said, _"Calm down. I'm here for you."_ After that, he didn't fidget quite so much.

Finally they reached Blaine's house. Kurt gasped from beside him on the bench in the truck as Burt pulled into the large circle drive.

"Oh, my God, Blaine. This isn't a house; it's a mansion; a bed and breakfast, really."

Blaine shrugged. He hated that Kurt was seeing this part of his life. "It's not me anymore."

"But it used to be. I bet you and your friends had a blast playing hide and seek in that house."

"I didn't have friends," he stated simply, opening the door and stepping down from the truck. He held out a hand to Kurt to help him out of the truck.

Kurt graciously took it and stepped down. "Thank you, kind sir."

Blaine lifted Kurt's hand to his lips before letting it go. "You're ever so welcome."

"Quit re-enacting every romantic comedy known to man and let's go," Burt grunted.

"I don't think every romantic comedy known to man is between two men, Dad."

Burt ignored his son's comment and knocked on the door as they reached it. When no one answered, Burt banged on it again and started shouting. "You in there, Andersons? Answer the door. I don't have all day and it's freezing outside."

The door opened to reveal a housemaid; they'd hired a new one since Blaine left and he had no idea who this was.

"Are the Andersons expecting you?" she asked politely.

"Probably not," Burt answered, gently pushing past the maid and stomping on the welcome mat to get the snow off of his shoes before stepping further into the house.

The maid looked distraught at the intrusion, like she didn't know what to do and just wanted them to leave.

Blaine quickly stepped up to her and held out a hand for her to shake. "I'm Blaine Anderson. I'm their son."

"Oh." She shook his hand with a confused expression on her face. "I thought they only had the one son. The one that was sick."

"We do," Richard Anderson said, emerging from his study. "Blaine, what are you doing here?"

"He's here to see Alex," Burt answered, giving the man a cold stare.

The two fathers glared at each other for a moment before Richard asked, "And who are you?"

"Burt Hummel. I'm Kurt's dad."

Blaine's dad looked from Burt to Kurt and then turned to sneer at Blaine. "Oh, you've found a replacement father, have you?"

"Says the man who had a replacement son," Burt spat out.

The other man immediately tensed. Charlotte descended the grand staircase and when she saw Blaine her face fell from pleasant to uncomfortable. "Blaine, what are you doing here?"

"Funny, Dad just asked the same thing," he said.

"Are you ever going to answer us?" his father asked impatiently.

"Like Burt said, I'm here to see Alex."

His mother laughed, a cold and empty sound. "That's not going to happen."

"It damn well is gonna happen. You're gonna let that man see his brother because he just saved that little boy's life and you owe him the courtesy to at least let him see his brother before Christmas," Burt said, pointing to Blaine.

The tension in the room was extremely uncomfortable. Blaine was vaguely aware of Kurt by his side, holding his hand. He knew that Burt was trying to help, but his parents were looking at him like they had the night they kicked him out; the way they were looking at him combined with the house he was standing in, should have sent him right into a panic attack.

But it didn't. He had Kurt holding onto his hand, and although he wasn't saying anything, he could feel everything that Kurt was saying to him. It was all being conveyed to him through those fingers that were threaded through his. Kurt was his anchor, and he didn't have to panic anymore because with Kurt by his side they'd figure everything out together.

"Are you okay?" Kurt whispered discreetly in his ear.

Blaine nodded minutely. "I'm fine," he muttered.

Just then, Alex appeared at the top of the steps, rubbing sleep from his eyes and holding a blanket. He'd obviously just woken up from a nap.

"Momma, is it time for snack?"

Charlotte quickly headed back up the stairs and scooped Alex into her arms. "No, baby, Momma wants you to go play with your toys for a few minutes, okay?"

Alex looked over Charlotte's shoulder as she carried him and locked eyes with Blaine. His entire face lit up and he began squirming in his mother's arms, reaching for Blaine. "B'ainey! B'ainey! Momma, B'ainey came to see me! Down!"

She whirled around and scowled at Blaine, trying to keep them from looking at one another. "See what you've caused?"

"I haven't done anything," Blaine argued. "I'm just visiting my brother who is obviously happy to see me. Why can't you just put him down and let him?"

Alex began crying and clawing at Charlotte's back, doing everything he could to get down. "I wanna see B'ainey! Lemme see B'ainey!"

"Just put the kid down and let him see his brother," Burt snapped.

Charlotte locked eyes with her husband and sighed like it was the most inconvenient thing in the world to set her son down; but she did, and Alex came racing down the stairs toward Blaine. When he reached the bottom step and started running towards Blaine, he scooped him up and swirled him around in the air before settling him on his hip.

"Whoa, little man. How are you doing?" Blaine asked, smiling at him.

Alex smiled grabbed onto Blaine's curls, holding his blanket in his other hand. "Good. The doctor said Imma grow my hair back out just like you," he told Blaine proudly.

Blaine chuckled and pressed a kiss to the black fuzz on Alex's head. "I bet."

"When I have curls 'gain, will you play wif 'em?"

He only hesitated for a second before saying, "Sure, buddy."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Blaine," his father said sternly.

Blaine turned his attention to his dad. "I'm not. I will be back to play with Alex. And you'll let me, because without me, he wouldn't be here right now. So here's how our arrangement is going to work. I get to see Alex twice a year: around his birthday and around Christmastime."

"That's not possible—"

"Actually, Mom, it is. And it's not up for debate. You can't keep me from my little brother. I _will _see him twice a year. When is his birthday?"

His parents glanced at each other and said nothing. Blaine rolled his eyes, because his parents really thought if they didn't tell him Alex's birthday then he wouldn't be able to come, when Alex told him, "July twinny-fif, B'ainey."

He looked back at Alex and smiled. "July 25th?"

Alex nodded in affirmative.

"So every year," Blaine said to his parents, "around the end of July and the end of December, I will come to visit him. I don't care if you like it. I don't care if you're okay with it. This is my baby brother and you kept me out of the first 3 years of his life and I refuse to be shut out any more than that. He deserves to have his big brother."

"His big brother who's just going to end up turning him into a fag too," Richard snarled.

The second the word left Mr. Anderson's mouth, Burt roared, "What did you just call him?"

Kurt had to physically restrain his dad from lunging at Blaine's, but Blaine didn't even flinch. He was so used to his father talking down to him by now that he didn't even notice the insult.

"Yeah, and then if that happens what are you gonna do, kick him out too? You're running out of kids to ruin, Dad." His father's nostrils flared but he kept on. "I'm going to take Alex to the park for a couple hours. I'll be back soon."

Charlotte immediately flew down the stairs in an attempt to stop him. "You aren't going anywhere with my son!"

But Alex had already heard the word "park" and was excited. "Park! Park! B'ainey and Kurt are gonna take me to park!"

His parents both froze. "He remembers the name of your…_him_?"

Blaine could only roll his eyes. "Of course he does. Kurt came to see him all the time; he was just smart enough to wait until you two were gone."

Kurt's mouth fell open in shock at the fact that Blaine just gave him away. But there was nothing either of them could do now. Alex remembered him, that wasn't Blaine's fault.

"Go," his father grunted. His voice was so low Blaine almost didn't hear him, but then he spoke a second time, louder. "Just go. Take him to the park. If you're not back in two hours I'm calling the police and you won't be allowed to see him again."

"Of course," Blaine nodded, setting Alex down. "Go get your coat on, buddy, we're going to the park."

Alex ran off in the direction of his room with an excited cry. It took him a while to climb all the steps and then make all the way back down, but once he did Blaine held out a hand for him to take and started heading for the door. No one said anything else; the door slamming behind him sounded like a gunshot.

They made it to the truck before Blaine and Kurt turned to look at each other uncertainly.

"The truck isn't big enough for all 4 of us to ride safely," Blaine stated.

The three men looked at each other for a minute. "We could walk," Kurt suggested. "The park isn't too far from here, right, Blaine?"

When Burt looked at him for confirmation, Blaine nodded. "Yeah, it's pretty close. We can walk. Come on, Alex." He gave Alex a gentle tug on the hand and began walking on the sidewalk.

He heard Kurt and Burt making conversation behind him for a brief moment before Kurt jogged to catch up to them and latched onto Alex's other hand. "Dad's going to go home and pick us up in two hours."

"Sounds good."

As they walked down the street, Alex told them all kinds of stories of things that had happened since he'd gotten back home. There were stories about the airplane ride back, the airport losing his suitcase so his parents got mad, the storylines of the dolls' lives that he played with. Blaine inserted little, "Oh, yeah?"s and "That's neat"s where necessary to keep Alex going, but really, he couldn't concentrate on Alex's stories. All Blaine could think about was how right this felt.

The little boy he'd grown to care for so much was finally in his life again. Granted, it hadn't even been a full two weeks since they'd seen each other, but that was long enough for Blaine. He just wanted his little brother back, but it was something that had seemed so impossible to him. Once his parents decided something, they didn't usually change their minds. Yet here he was, taking Alex to the park, probably not for the last time. He'd laid down the law, set the rules, asserted himself, and his parents had listened. They hadn't been happy about it, but they'd actually listened to him and gone with it. That was a step in the right direction, right?

When they reached the park, Alex shot straight for the swings. Kurt and Blaine found a park bench to sit on and watch him play. It occurred to Blaine, as he sat there with his arm around Kurt, Kurt nestled into his side with his head in the crook of Blaine's neck, that this could be their future.

Five, maybe 10 years down the road, this could be them. Married. Their children playing on the park as they sat on the bench and watched with fond smiles. Blaine had finally done it; he'd gotten Kurt back. Their future that they planned before all of the shit hit the fan, it was still theirs if they wanted it.

And, God, Blaine had never wanted something so bad in his entire life.

Not even alcohol.

…

_December 28, 2012_

Christmas had come and gone, but the spirit of the holiday lingered. Kurt and Blaine forewent exchanging presents, because having each other back in their lives was present enough.

Then Kurt sheepishly brought out the matching scarf, gloves, and hat to the coat that he _had _indeed bought for Blaine and left on his doorstep upon learning Blaine had lost his jacket. So Blaine brought out the framed photograph of Kurt's mother when she was pregnant with Kurt with the 2002 Lima Arboretum Trail Guide that had been safely tucked away in Kurt's glovebox in his car. Kurt gaped at him in wonder before attacking him in a hug and placing kisses all over his head and face, saying over and over, "I love you. I love you. I love you so freaking much, you know that?"

Blaine could only laugh because, yeah, he did know that. He was just glad Kurt liked his present and didn't think of it as an invasion of privacy that Blaine would steal the picture of Elizabeth Hummel from Kurt's photo album and the trail guide from his car.

This time, when the Hudmels and Andersons came together for a holiday dinner, it was much more successful. No one had a panic attack; Finn ate at a regular pace; Laurel brought Bryan and they were both very charming, as always; Burt and Carole were the perfect hosts; and of course, Blaine and Kurt sat next to each other and made little loving eyes the entire dinner, often sharing small kisses. It was the perfect holiday dinner, and afterwards, Blaine and Kurt found themselves under the mistletoe. Everyone started cheering and urging them to kiss—as if they needed any sort of encouragement whatsoever—and quickly realized their mistake when the two boys refused to break apart.

Eventually, Laurel and Bryan went back to Laurel's house and Blaine stayed with Kurt. They spent the night doing nothing more than sharing lazy kisses and talking about anything and everything. They still hadn't crossed the line to sex, but they didn't need to. Their relationship was conveyed through more than just physical interaction; they didn't need to have sex to understand that they were in love and trusted each other implicitly.

Once they fell asleep though, the light and simple aspect of their relationship faded. Even Christmas night, Kurt woke screaming as he had every night before and every night after. His nightmares were getting better, he tried to assure Blaine, but they weren't gone. Blaine holding him helped, but it was difficult to shake that feeling of absolute desolation.

Tonight was no different.

Blaine woke with a start to the high-pitched scream he knew better than to jump at by now. He was quick to respond, gently pulling Kurt into his arms as the tears started.

"Shh. Kurt, it's okay. Baby, I'm here; I'm here. You're with me."

Kurt only sobbed into Blaine's shirt, soaking it almost immediately. "You left me. You were gone. Why didn't you stay with me?"

Blaine's heart clenched in his chest like it did every night. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. I promise I'll never leave you again, okay? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere anymore."

"Why wasn't I good enough? Why wasn't I good enough to make you stay? Why didn't you love me enough?"

It was the hardest to deal with those questions. When Kurt woke up, he wasn't always the most coherent. Half of his mind was still in the dream, and when he asked those questions to Blaine, it wasn't to intentionally hurt him with memories of what had happened between them. Blaine knew that. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

"You are good enough, Kurt. You are." He stroked the back of Kurt's head and held him closely, trying to show Kurt through body language that he wasn't ever letting go. "I love you enough. I love you so much more than enough. I love you more than I ever thought possible."

Kurt pulled away and stared into Blaine's eyes. "Then why did you leave me?"

"I don't know. But it's never happening again, okay?"

Soulmate sniffed and nodded. "Okay. Don't leave me anymore."

"I won't. Let's go back to sleep."

Blaine gently pulled Kurt back down with him and rolled his boyfriend over so that Blaine's chest was pressed to Kurt's back. He wrapped an arm over Kurt's waist and brought him as close to his body as possible, burrowing his face in the back of Kurt's neck.

"I'm sorry."

That was the other hardest part; having to hear Kurt apologize for something he should never be sorry for.

"It's not your fault, Kurt. I left because I was an asshole. But that's different now and I have you back and I'm never losing you again. I love you."

"I love you," Kurt returned, yawning and falling back asleep.

…

_December 31, 2012_

New Year's Eve.

This was the day Blaine Daniel Anderson was supposed to be a man worthy of Kurt Elizabeth Hummel's love.

Blaine liked to think that he'd been successful, at least so far.

Here was a list of things that Blaine could improve on: He was still an asshole. His abandonment left Kurt with recurring nightmares that resulted in screams that woke the entire house up. He had an urge to drink every night because of it.

Here was a list of things that Blaine had already improved on: He was comforting; every night when Kurt woke up screaming, he was there to help the nightmares fade away and remind Kurt that he was right here. He never gave into the urge to drink, and instead just held Kurt tightly to him and reminded himself that the man in his arms was worth giving up the entire world.

After 4 years of hating himself, Blaine was finally starting to see good things, things that he did right. He was a compassionate person and always willing to help someone who was in need. He was intelligent, enough so that he was able to catch up on all of his classes over Thanksgiving break and end the semester with 1 A, 3 Bs, and 1 C—pretty good for someone who just stopped attending class at all for 2 whole weeks. He was a talented musician who had earned his way into a competitive program and gotten a scholarship for it. He was loyal. When he loved someone, he loved them fiercely, and he would go to hell and back to protect them.

There were still many things for Blaine to sort out; still many negative attributes that would hinder him in the future. But for now, he was content with celebrating the small victories and not focusing on the minute losses.

So, yeah, Blaine liked to think that he'd kept his promise to his future father-in-law.

He had to be sure, though. Which is how he found himself sitting in the Hudmel's living room with the one and only Burt Hummel while Kurt and Carole were out grabbing take-out for dinner and Finn was at Rachel's house helping her set up for the New Year's party she was throwing that night.

"You gonna explain why you got all formal with me all of a sudden and 'requested a private chat,' kid?"

Blaine laughed, which was actually just him letting out the breath of air he'd been holding, and placed his hands on his knees. "It's about the promise I made to you. Back in November."

Burt looked like he was thinking back for a second before leaning back, having found the promise back in his memory. "Ah. I remember."

"I just…" Blaine took a deep breath to prepare himself. "I just want to ask you, Burt, if you think I've kept that promise; if you think that I'm good enough for Kurt, that I'm worthy of him and how he loves me."

There was a pause, a giant pause, where a million awful thoughts ran through Blaine's mind that maybe Burt would say he wasn't good enough, and that he needed to leave now before he hurt Kurt any more than he already had.

But then he stopped and he mentally slapped himself across the face. He _was _good enough. He'd worked hard over the past couple months to be better and while 2 months of self-improvement was nothing in the years that he'd have to work to get to where he needed to be, he'd accomplished a lot. He was already a totally different person than he had been when he and Kurt broke up. He already knew that he was worthy of Kurt's love, and that he really was able to give it right back; he just wanted Burt's approval, regardless of the fact that either way, it wouldn't change what Blaine already knew.

He was a good person.

"What do _you_ think, Blaine?"

Blaine smiled. "I think I am. I think I'm good enough. I think that Kurt is…Kurt is the most amazing person on the planet, and he deserves someone equally as amazing as him. But I think I can be that guy. Kurt, for all the great things that he is, he has his flaws too, you know? Like his skin care routine that takes almost an hour to complete. That's two hours out of his day that he could be doing something much more productive; plus it screws our bedtime schedule up. And he's the cleanest person I've ever met, except in the kitchen. If he decides he's going to back 4 dozen cookies, he does it, but then he leaves the kitchen looking like a tornado hit and complaining that he's too tired to clean up because he just baked cookies."

He laughed to himself, because even if those were things that annoyed the heck out of him, they were still just so _Kurt._ "I'm not perfect, Burt. You know that better than anyone. But neither is Kurt. And I think that I still have a long way to go before I've fixed all my issues, but as of right now, I'm a good man. I'm good enough for Kurt and I deserve the love he gives me just as much as he deserves the love I give him."

Burt leaned further back in the chair, scrutinizing Blaine with an unreadable face. Blaine was itching for him to say something, anything, when Kurt and Carole came through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" they called in unison.

Carole took the food to the kitchen while Kurt came into the living room and sat beside Blaine, instantly slipping his hand into his boyfriend's and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Kurt looked from Burt to Blaine and back again before asking, "What did I miss?"

This question wasn't directed to either of them in particular, but Blaine looked to Burt for the answer. Burt sat forward in his chair and said, "You just missed Blaine becoming a man."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow and looked at Blaine. "Did I, now?"

Blaine could only smile. Because in that moment, that was the best thing Burt Hummel could have said.

"Well, I'm sorry I missed it," Kurt said, kissing Blaine on the cheek again. "You'll have to tell me all about it, sweetheart."

"You see, it all started when I met this guy in a summer class…"

…

…

**TA-DA! That's the end! I actually had not planned on ending it there, but it just felt right, you know?**

**I sincerely hope that you guys have enjoyed this chapter and this story as much as I have. I've gotten reviews to that effect, but I hope that's still true with this chapter. **

**Personally, I thought this chapter was alright in terms of pacing to wrap up the story, but if you felt it was rushed I understand that too. **

**Don't fret, because we still have the EPIClogue to go! So be on the look-out for that ;) It will take a lot longer than normal because I have about a million things I want to jam into the EPIClogue so it will take forever to write. Don't worry, it's coming. Just be patient with me. :)**

**As always, I love you all, and thank you for taking this journey with me. You're the best readers and author could hope for! (Insert heart here because this site won't let me use the less than sign to do the whole less-than-three thing).**


	34. Epilogue

**So I know this epilogue has been a long time coming. It's taken me a while for a number of reasons. I've been working on summer repertory theatre at college where we only have a few weeks to put two entire shows together, one of them being a musical. It's hectic and chaotic and super busy with huge blocks of 4 hours of rehearsals and working in the costume shop (at least for me it is). So, I apologize for taking so long!**

**I also may have been putting it off because I'm so sad to see this 'verse escape my fingers. This story has been very near and dear to my heart since I started it on Christmas day and I'm sad to see it go.**

**But, all good things must come to an end. So without further adu…the EPIClogue! :D**

_December 31, 2012_

_First Time Having Sex_

Blaine lay in bed at 10:17pm holding onto a sobbing Kurt, waiting patiently for the crying to subside. It was his doing, after all.

No. He didn't think like that anymore. That was the Old Blaine talking. New Blaine was more focused on his boyfriend than his own personal issues. Sure, he'd done things and made mistakes and hurt people—hurt Kurt—but they were moving past that now. The only thing that mattered was making sure this residual hurt that Kurt was experiencing would go away.

"Tell me about them," Blaine murmured.

He'd known it was a bad idea to take a nap but Kurt insisted in preparation for staying up late that night in celebration of the New Year. Burt and Carole were off at their own New Years' party with friends, and Finn was at Rachel's party, so they had the house to themselves. Finn tried to get Blaine and Kurt to go to Rachel's party with him, but they both decided that their first New Years' together would be better spent alone, reflecting on their previous time together and thinking about the new leaf they'd turn with the new year.

It was their fresh start. A clean slate.

Kurt nestled further into Blaine's chest and sniffled. "I don't want to make you feel bad."

He was definitely lucid again if he was worried about hurting Blaine's feelings. "I'm fine, Kurt. Tell me about the nightmares."

After a moment, Kurt spoke in a small voice. "They're the same as before. With us and our spot and the lake and the alcohol and you leaving me…drowning yourself…they're always the same."

"Sleeping with me doesn't help them at all?"

"Sometimes. Lately you've started looking back at me and hesitating before going and drowning. Tonight you took one step back toward me like you changed your mind, but then you…you went back. To the lake."

"To the alcohol," Blaine muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching the back of Kurt's head even tighter.

Kurt nodded against his chest. "To the alcohol," he repeated.

"They'll get better," Blaine promised. "In your nightmares, I've already started to look back at you, to start back towards you. They'll get better. I'll come back to you. I will."

His hand fell down to Kurt's neck as Kurt pulled away, looking up into his eyes. "I know."

Blaine gently laid them both back down on their sides so they were facing each other. He had one hand pillowing his head and one hand stroking Kurt's face, caressing his cheekbone, tracing his jawline.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Who said it first didn't matter because the sentiment was the same.

It was always the same.

The finger Blaine was using to trace Kurt's lips was somehow sucked into Kurt's mouth; Blaine watched in part-shock and part-excitement as Kurt closed his eyes and worked his mouth over the finger, swirling his tongue around it inside his mouth. Without a second thought Blaine shut his eyes and shuddered.

"_Kurt."_

As if that was a command in itself, Kurt pulled his lips off and kissed the tip of Blaine's finger, then kissed down the length of it. "Blaine," he countered, voice steady and sure but so throaty and low.

"You…You can't just…_do _that."

Kurt took Blaine's hand in both of his and began kissing the top of it, each of his knuckles, then to the palm and the wrist and gingerly making his way up Blaine's arm.

"Mmm," Kurt murmured against his skin. "Why not?" He looked up at Blaine with wide innocent eyes that, if Blaine didn't know any better, he'd almost fall for.

"Because…Because of your nightmares."

"Which are gone now that I'm awake and I see you."

"That doesn't make them any less real to you when you're asleep."

Kurt paused in his kissing. "And then I wake up and I'm wrapped in your arms and I have your voice in my ear telling me it's alright and that you love me. Blaine, they're nightmares. Nothing more. They'll go away eventually, you said so yourself. The best thing for me is to just be with you, feel you, kiss you, hold you. All of those things go to my subconscious and stock up for when I do fall asleep again and it's even more ammo to use against the evil nightmares. Okay?"

He wasn't convinced; the dark circles and worry lines on Kurt's face proved otherwise. But if what Kurt wanted was to be touched and felt and held and kissed, Blaine could do that.

"Okay," he whispered, tipping Kurt's chin up and bringing their lips together.

And then everything was perfect. When they were kissing each other, when they were connected like that, everything was fine. The nightmares and the alcohol and the worrying and everything just faded away and it was just Kurt and Blaine. That's it. The universe was only them and they were all that mattered.

Slowly, Kurt rolled on top of Blaine and deepened the kiss, grinding his hips down.

Blaine immediately pulled back.

"Kurt," he warned, trying to sound stern but failing miserably under the circumstances.

Kurt only leaned down and kissed the side of Blaine's head by his ear. "I want to have sex with you." In the moment of complete incoherent thought that wrought upon Blaine, Kurt kissed his way up and down the side of Blaine's head, saying into his skin. "I want you to make love to me. I want to feel you in me. I want to feel full and whole because of _you; _because _you're _the one filling me up and making me complete."

"_Kurt."_

At this point, Blaine was absolutely wound up. Kurt was talking about Blaine being inside of him and _shit _if that wasn't all Blaine had been thinking about for months and months now. Even before their break-up, his mind had been on that track. Their separation hadn't derailed that. In fact, it was images of the two of them doing exactly what Kurt had described that helped bring him through those rough times when he found himself in…_hard _situations.

"Please," Kurt begged, licking and nipping at Blaine's top lip before just sucking it into his mouth.

Blaine whimpered. His breath went into Kurt's mouth. "You don't have to say please for that, Kurt."

"So you'll do it?"

"_We'll _do it. Now shut up and keep kissing me."

…

_January 1, 2013_

_First Time Kurt Went A Full Sleep With No Nightmares_

Blaine shivered and snuggled his chest closer against Kurt's back, squeezing that arm around Kurt's waist tighter. He rubbed his nose against the back of Kurt's neck as he awoke. Without opening his eyes yet, he reached blindly for the blanket, patting his naked hip and Kurt's before finding the covers and pulling them back up and over them.

"Mmm. Stop tryin' ta feel me up. 'S too early. 'M sleepy."

Blaine chuckled low against Kurt's neck. "I was going for the blanket, Kurt, not your ass."

"Well it was the opp'site last night. How was I s'pposed to know?"

"Because when I want your ass I'll do _this."_

"Blaine!"

"What?"

"Don't squeeze my ass! I'm still sore!"

"I was showing you the difference between me wanting your ass and me covering your ass."

"I hate you in the morning."

"You loved me last night."

"I don't care. I hate you now."

"You just broke Relationship Rule Number One."

Kurt turned over in Blaine's arms to face him; seeing Kurt's trademark smirk back reminded Blaine of the day they first met and sent butterflies in his stomache. He loved that he could fall in love with Kurt all over again every day. "What's my punishment?"

"A little cheeky for someone complaining about how sore they are from the previous night's sex, don't you think?"

"Hmph."

Blaine laughed again as Kurt nestled his head into Blaine's chest, snaking both of his arms around Blaine's body and holding tight. Their legs were a tangled mess beneath the sheets; their limbs were so completely entwined it was like they were holding hands with their entire bodies.

The position reminded him of everything from last night. Not just the sex, but the part preceding that. The part where he and Kurt had taken a nap and had both woken up due to Kurt's nightmares.

Kurt's nightmares.

Which hadn't woken them up after that.

"Kurt."

"Hmm?"

"What did you dream about last night?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"Us. In our spot. Kissing."

"What else?"

"There wasn't anything else. It was just us kissing. It was nice."

It was obvious to Blaine that Kurt was still half-asleep because if he was fully awake he would fully understand the weight of that statement. Kurt's nightmares were gone. Well, maybe not gone for good. But for the first time in months, he'd gone a full night's sleep without a single nightmare. In fact, there wasn't even the _hint _of a nightmare. It started as a good dream and ended as a good dream with nothing but good in between.

"Mmm. Yeah. It was nice," Kurt repeated, snuggling into Blaine's bare chest. His head came to a sudden stop and then he pulled away, eyes wide, staring at Blaine. "Oh, my God. It was nice. Blaine, my dream was nice. I had a nice dream."

Blaine smiled. "You had a nice dream."

Kurt's eyes teared up and he smiled back, much softer. "I had a nice dream. You cured me."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. Last night, when we—…I felt the most…complete I ever have in my entire life. I felt real and just so…so…_right. _For the first time in my life."

"That's good," Blaine said. He pressed a kiss to Kurt's forehead and tried not to let it show how overwhelmingly _happy _he was.

But when he pulled away he figured the hell with it. He was happy, damn it. And it was because of Soulmate. If he grinned a little too wide and his breath smelled a little too gross, who cares? He was in the arms of the man he loved and they'd come together last night in a way they never had before.

Nothing else mattered.

…

_January 19, 2013_

_First Drunk Relapse_

Blaine officially hated himself.

He made a promise that he wouldn't do this again. He made a promise to Kurt, to Laurel, to himself. Yet here he was, drunk and wandering the streets of New York, trailing after Jonathan.

"How did you even get in?" Jonathan asked, turning around and scowling at Blaine like he'd never seen something so disgusting in his entire life.

He probably hadn't. Blaine sure hadn't. He disgusted even himself at this point.

He shrugged. "I snuck in while you were distracted. I know Carter has you on Blaine Watch for alcohol at your frat parties so I waited until some hot girls showed up and snuck in while you were too preoccupied staring at their breasts."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

The worst part of it was that there was no reason. Blaine's life had been going great. Once he and Kurt had gotten back together and finally come together in a way they never had before, the rest of his winter break was amazing. He got to know Bryan a bit better and spent time with Laurel and Burt and just hung out with his family. His relationship with Kurt was wiped clean with the New Year and even though they couldn't erase the past, they could learn from it to better build their future.

Or at least that was their plan, before Blaine just couldn't resist the urge anymore. That itching desire had been making his mouth water for months. An alcoholic doesn't just stop drinking cold turkey; he and Kurt both knew that. And tonight, when he stumbled upon a picture of him and Alex in the hospital that had been taken on his cell phone, he couldn't help it. That urge was just too great. His mouth was watering and his throat was already burning in anticipation of the liquor's sting and all he could think about was just getting drunk and forgetting about the fact that he could only see his brother for a few hours twice a year because he was a fucking _fag._

Why was it so hard for him to meet people's expectations? He couldn't meet his parents' and now he couldn't meet Kurt's. Right now, in this very moment, he was failing once again. Even just _thinking _of his failure was—in itself—failing.

He just couldn't get it right.

"Pick up the pace," Jonathan snapped, reaching out and grabbing Blaine's wrist to tug him forward. "Kurt and Carter are already waiting for you outside the dorm."

Blaine ripped his hand away and fought very hard against the urge to punch his friend in the face.

Were they friends?

They probably wouldn't be if Blaine gave him a black eye.

It was frustrating beyond belief not to be able to hit something, but Blaine had already given into one unhealthy urge tonight and he couldn't afford to succumb to another one. Not with him and Jonathan approaching his dorm building and Kurt and Carter in his line of sight.

Kurt's shoulders were visibly tensed and up around his neck. Carter had his arms folded over his chest and was stomping his shoe in the snow.

"Hurry up!" Carter shouted. "It's fucking freezing out here and I'm not going to stand here forever waiting for your drunk ass!"

Fuck that.

Blaine sat down right where he was in the snow.

Carter threw his hands up in the air and turned around and headed back inside.

Jonathan rolled his eyes before stomping past Blaine and back to his frat house, mumbling something about, "I did my job and brought him back. They can deal with him now."

Kurt just stood in front of the door to the dorm, watching Blaine from afar.

"You're going to get frostbite," he called out.

"So?" Blaine shrugged. "Why do you even care? I broke Relationship Rules One and Two. No lying and no drinking. That's grounds for dumping my sorry ass again, right? So what are you waiting for? I couldn't even make it 3 whole months without drinking so how am I going to make it a year, or two years, or a lifetime? Might as well just get out now and save yourself the trouble."

"We tried that, remember? It didn't exactly work well for either of us. Come inside and we can talk about it where we're not both shivering." Even from afar, Blaine could see Kurt's eyes soften and his shoulders drop. "Please."

The Love Look.

How was it possible that even when Blaine was crumpled in the snow, drunk, refusing to cooperate, that Kurt could still look at him with love in his eyes? How could Kurt possibly love him in this moment?

It didn't make sense.

"Stop looking at me like that," he muttered under his breath, standing up and brushing the snow off of his now numb butt.

When Blaine reached Kurt, Kurt asked, "What did you say? I couldn't hear you from all the way over here."

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Obviously it matters if you said it," Kurt insisted, trailing after him to his dorm.

"Just drop it, Kurt."

"But if you cared enough to say it in the first place—."

Blaine spun around and cut him off. "Drop it already! If it fucking mattered I would have said it to your face not to the fucking air. Back off."

The hurt flashed across Kurt's face so fast Blaine wasn't even sure if it had really been there or if he'd just imagined it. Then again, he knew Kurt was a good actor, and even in his drunken stupor he knew Kurt's poker face when he saw it. For some reason unfathomable to Blaine, Kurt was masking his own pain to deal with Blaine's.

"Let's just go to your room, Blaine. I don't feel like having a fight in the hallway."

"Why? Am I embarrassing? Is my alcoholism embarrassing you?" Blaine rolled his eyes and turned around in a circle, calling out, _"Hey, assholes! My boyfriend and I are about to have a fight! Who wants to come and listen?"_

Kurt grabbed his upper arm and tugged, "Okay, that's enough. We're going to your room."

"I'm not going anywhere," Blaine spat, ripping his arm away much like he'd done with Jonathan.

Again, he had to restrain himself from swinging; he had to restrain himself from hitting Kurt.

And that frightened the hell out of him.

He'd never had to restrain himself from hitting Kurt before. He'd always known it was a possibility, but it had never been a reality until tonight.

_Fuck._

This was bad. This was so much worse than he'd originally thought. And this was all for what? Because he'd seen a picture of him and Alex on his phone? His brother almost _died_; he almost didn't get to see Alex _at all. _Now he was lucky enough to see him twice a year. That made him _lucky. _Alex could have died—God knows a hundred other kids in that fucking cancer center did—so what the fuck kind of right did he have to complain?

A few heads stuck out of the doors up and down the hall.

"Um…Is everything okay out here?" A girl with long black hair and olive skin asked.

"How about you mind your own fucking business?"

Kurt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. He's drunk. I'll get him back to his room as soon as he'll let me, I swear."

The girl eyed Blaine then shot Kurt a sympathetic look. "I get the feeling you've dealt with him like this before."

Kurt hesitated before saying, "Once or twice."

"My mom's an alcoholic," she explained.

"Fan-fucking-tastic but this isn't some Sharing Circle where we all go around and discuss our feelings so how about you go back to whatever the fuck it was you were doing and leave me and my boyfriend the hell alone?" Blaine barked out.

The other people watching in the hallway gasped and their eyes bugged out of their heads. Kurt and the girl who was talking to them didn't even flinch.

It made Blaine sick. What made them deserving of having to be used to being treated this way? Kurt was this amazing person, and this girl seemed nice enough if she was reaching out like that. Why were _they _the ones that had to suffer this kind of treatment? And if good people like them had to be treated like dirt, why did Blaine get Kurt? Why did someone like Blaine get to be loved and cared for so deeply and gently by Kurt?

Nothing was making any sense tonight.

"What's his room number?" she asked Kurt.

"211."

"Do you want help getting him there?"

"I'm right fucking here," Blaine pointed out. "No, I don't need help walking up a flight of stairs. But gee, thanks. I bet you feel like a great citizen now, helping out the community trash."

"You're not trash, Blaine," Kurt said softly, looking at him with sad eyes. "Can we please just go to your room and talk?"

"What are we going to talk about, huh? What is there to talk about? You wanna go upstairs and play therapist and lay me down and talk about my feelings and why I wanted to go get drunk? I got drunk so I wouldn't _have _to talk to you, Kurt. That was the whole point. I was avoiding the therapy session. I don't wanna fucking talk about it. I just want you to leave me alone."

"If you wanted me to leave you alone you would have gone to your room and locked the door and shut me out. Yet here you stand, still talking to me, however inappropriately. Obviously you don't want me to leave you alone."

He wanted to hit something. Fuck, he wanted to hit something so bad. All he wanted to do was punch and kick and grab and pull and attack. He just wanted to hurt something so badly. He had all of this energy buzzing through him and if he didn't do something about it, it was going to explode.

If he hit Kurt, he'd never forgive himself.

Then he remembered once upon a time, he'd been drunk, and he'd felt this same insatiable need to _punchkickhitthrowgrabattack _and he unleashed it on the furniture in his room. Nothing broke. If it was okay then, maybe it would be okay now. Maybe he could give into that urge without hurting Kurt.

Without another word or second glance, Blaine headed for the staircase and flew up the stairs, taking them two at a time, stalking to his room. He threw open the door and wasn't even surprised to find Carter on his bed, reading a gaming magazine.

Carter didn't even look up. So, Blaine slammed the door and went to work.

He kicked the dresser.

He swiped all of his stuff off of his desk.

He threw his chair down.

He ripped all of his clothes off the hangers from the closet and tossed them onto the ground.

He punched the wall. Repeatedly. Again and again, blindly punching. Quite frankly, he would have been surprised it didn't break, but then he heard a crack.

The searing pain in his hand told him that it wasn't the wall he'd just broken.

Shit, the walls were made of concrete. They lived in a room with concrete walls. What part of him thought it was smart to punch a _concrete wall?_

"_Fuck," _he groaned, holding his hand to his chest. "Oh, fuck fuck fuck. Oh, damn it. Fuck me. Fuck my life. Fuck the world."

"Way to go, idiot, you broke your hand. I hope you're satisfied. I hope you also know you're cleaning up that mess you made tomorrow."

"Shut up, Carter," Kurt said, coming fully into the room from where he'd been standing in the doorway and making his way over to Blaine where he stood by the closet. "Blaine probably just broke his hand. Save your shit for tomorrow." He reached out to Blaine and tried to pry his hand from his chest. "Here, let me see it."

"Get the fuck away from me!" Blaine growled, raising his uninjured arm.

He almost swung.

He almost swung and hit Kurt.

He almost hit Kurt.

What the fuck was he doing?

Blaine staggered backwards until he hit the bedframe and slid down the side, his good hand covering his mouth and his bad one still cradled against his chest. Kurt simply stood and stared at him, eyes wide and full of fear and hurt.

"You almost hit me," Kurt whispered.

Blaine just stared up at him. "I almost hit you."

Time seemed to freeze. This was unfamiliar territory. They'd all known it was a possibility—Kurt, Carter, Blaine—they all knew it was something that could happen if Blaine got drunk enough. But never, until tonight, had it become a reality. In all of his drunkenness before today, Blaine had always been very careful to stay as far away from people as possible so this wouldn't happen. Maybe it was the pain from his broken hand, or maybe it was the adrenaline from taking his room apart, but whatever it was, it led him to almost hit someone again. It led him to almost hit _Kurt._

That was unacceptable.

No more. No more relapses. No more getting drunk. No more letting this control his life. He'd thought he was determined before, but that was nothing compared to now. Just the image of his hand colliding with Kurt's face…he'd been so close…a few more inches and…

"I'm so sorry," Blaine whispered, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his good arm around them. He ducked his head and kept his hurt hand stowed away in the middle of his body ball.

Kurt didn't say anything, but Blaine heard the soft footsteps on the carpet signaling Kurt walking towards him. The air shifted around him and he felt Kurt kneel beside him. "I'm going to put my hand on your back. Okay?"

Blaine thought he might throw up simply because Kurt felt the need to warn him that he was going to touch him; like Blaine was a wild horse that would be spooked into kicking and fighting if he wasn't properly alerted to a touch.

He managed to rasp out an, "Okay," and wasn't even aware that he'd begun crying until he spoke.

As stated, he felt the gentle warmth of a palm being pressed to his back, rubbing circles.

Carter broke in and said, "Kurt, maybe you should—."

"Don't say it, Carter. I'm not leaving."

"He could hit you."

"I've known that was a possibility for half a year now. It didn't make me leave then and it's not making me leave now."

There was silence, and then the sound of the door opening and closing softly. Blaine knew it hadn't been Kurt that left, not only because of how he'd just stated as much but because he was still rubbing soothing circles. Something in Kurt's tone must have made Carter see that arguing with him would have been pointless at this point, so Carter gave up and headed elsewhere. Blaine didn't blame him.

He wouldn't blame Kurt for leaving either. "He's right, you know."

"I know," Kurt said gently, his circular hand motion stuttering on Blaine's back for a moment before becoming regular again. "You told me about The Trevor Incident months ago, Blaine. I meant every word of what I said that night. You're a beautiful person and you're someone worth loving, even when you don't see it."

Tentatively, Blaine lifted his head to meet Kurt's eyes. How could Kurt possibly look so sad for him when he was the villain here? "I wasn't like this that night. I wasn't a violent alcoholic."

"People change…They change and they grow and there are times when…when that growth is rapid and times when we kind of coast for a while, content to just be in that place for that time in our lives…Sometimes the change is for the better, and sometimes it's for the worse." Kurt gave a little shrug, like this was something everyone just thought about on a daily basis and not the truest and wisest thing Blaine had ever heard. "Last fall, you changed for the worse. You became an alcoholic. This winter, you've changed for the better and become the man I saw in you on the day we first met."

Kurt paused again, reaching his other hand up to cup Blaine's cheek. The touch ignited Blaine's body and dulled the pain in his hand. "I still believe in that man. I still believe that he's in there right now." Slowly, Kurt leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Blaine's forehead. When he pulled back, he continued, "You're a recovering alcoholic, Blaine. Of course you're going to relapse. But that's all this is; a relapse. It's just one night. Tomorrow you'll wake up with a pounding headache and, if you're not too stubborn to let me take you to the hospital, a cast. You'll feel like shit and you'll remember this night and it will be more incentive for you to continue in your struggle to quit drinking."

"What if I can't do it?" Blaine whispered. His fear was too great in his mind to even speak out loud. This was what he'd been dreading all along; what if he tried to stop drinking and couldn't do it? What if he was forever doomed to be a disappointment? "What if I'm not strong enough?"

"Then it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere so that when you feel too weak, I'll be there to hold you up and show you that you have so much more strength than you know." Kurt offered a light smile. "Because Blaine, you are the strongest person I have ever met."

Blaine wanted to scoff. He wanted to scoff and refute that and tell Kurt that if he was a strong person, he wouldn't have just given into the urge to drink tonight. He would have fought harder. He would have used that strength and resisted like the good recovering alcoholics. But he didn't. He didn't say anything.

Because that was the old Blaine. That was the Blaine that he'd gotten rid of last month after weeks and weeks of trying. He'd come so far and made so much more progress and he refused to let his setback reverse that. He was a new Blaine now. He was different. When Kurt told him something, he listened; he didn't just dismiss it because it was a compliment, he _really listened _and tried to see in himself what Kurt saw in him.

So out of respect for himself and for Kurt, he really thought about it. He looked into those blue eyes that had been his anchors through his toughest times recently, and he tried to understand. He really willed himself to turn the image around and see what his boyfriend saw.

Strength. Where did his boyfriend see strength? Yeah, sure, when he got kicked out of his parents' house, that could have been strength. He had the strength to endure that and come out on the other side. Then again, he did wallow in Laurel's bedroom for a week after the fact. But only a week? After he'd had broken ribs and a broken heart? After he'd been disowned by his own flesh and blood, the people that were supposed to love him no matter what? Only a week could be pretty strong, he supposed.

Then there was The Trevor Incident. That wasn't his most shining moment, though. Definitely not one of his strongest. He'd skip over that and rule it as being just as much Trevor's fault as it was Blaine's. He did come out the other side of that, too, and got his shit together—and after only 11 days! That wasn't too bad at all considering everything he'd gone through.

He could go on and think about Alex's time at the hospital and his break up with Kurt and dissect each of the big, tragic moments in his life and figure out how the hell he could be seen as strong, but the point was moot. Blaine had already reflected on all that he needed to. He was a strong person. At the end of the day, no matter how long it took him, Blaine came out on the other side of his tragedies. He didn't let them keep him down.

"You seem to always know what to say to me," Blaine murmured, laughing a little despite the situation. "I don't know how, but you always do. You have exactly the right words that I need to hear."

"Maybe that's because we were made for each other."

"I thought you didn't believe in God."

"I don't. But I believe in us."

Blaine gave a soft smile and took a deep breath. What he was about to say wasn't going to be easy. It was the hardest thing for him to admit that he needed help; but at this point he didn't have a choice. "I think maybe I should start taking this 'recovering alcoholic' thing more seriously. I could…go to AA meetings or—or join a twelve-step program…something like that."

For a moment, Kurt didn't say anything, and Blaine was afraid that maybe the mention of AA and twelve-step programs was too much for him and he'd realized what a mistake he'd made in staying with Blaine through this. But then, the second he opened his mouth, all of those doubts dissipated. "I already looked into it. There's a group for college kids who struggle with alcohol that meets every Friday night at that campus café I know you love. The twelve-step program I'm not sure you'd be as big of a fan of since it's religion-based."

"Really?"

Blaine hadn't known that. Not that he'd be entirely opposed, he liked to believe in something bigger than himself, but it was probably stronger than that.

"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "Step Two is about believing that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity. Step Three is about handing your life and decisions over to 'god' to take care of. It's all very Christian."

"Hmm." Blaine took a moment to think. It wasn't so bad, the basic ideas. If you took the specific Christian God out of it, he didn't think it would be too bad. The more he thought about it, though, the more he realized something. "You're my god," he mused aloud.

Kurt tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

"God is…I mean, according to most religions, God is someone who loves you no matter what, right? He's someone that's by your side through the good times and bad. He takes care of you in your darkest times of need, knowing when you need it before even you do. Despite all your faults, he loves you exactly the way you are. In theory, god loves me, alcoholism and all. If I have to believe in a power greater in myself that can restore me to sanity, it's you, Kurt. You're all of those things for me. In a really vague and ambiguous sense of the word, you're my god; you're my saviour."

"I don't think it's supposed to work that way."

"When have we ever done things the normal way, Kurt? I mean, look at us. We're sitting on the floor of my dorm because I'm drunk as fuck and broke my hand and almost hit you and by some miracle, you're still here. If it were anyone else, they would have left me by now. Carter did."

"Carter's bitter because he and Amanda are still fighting about him wanting to drop out of school to live with her and help her out at home with her siblings."

"That's not my point and you know it," Blaine sighed, carding his good hand through his hair.

"I know," Kurt responded. He leaned forward and kissed Blaine's forehead. "Now let's get you to a hospital and have your hand x-rayed and wrapped up in a cast." Kurt stood up and helped Blaine to do the same. "It was sweet, by the way; what you said, it was sweet. Confusing, and probably offensive to a religious person, but very sweet. Even your drunk persona is changing."

Blaine scoffed as they headed towards the door and Kurt took Blaine's keys to lock the door behind them. "Yeah, well, this will be the last you see of him so I hope you're okay with the progress he's made thus far before he falls off the face of the planet."

"I don't think it's possible for me to be proud of the drunk version of you, but I will be more than happy to see him fall off the face of the planet."

"Sounds like a plan."

…

_January 25, 2013_

_First AA Meeting/Open Mic Night_

Blaine had been scoping out open mic nights for weeks. Prior to his drunken relapse, prior to having his broken hand put in a cast, prior to all of that mess, he'd been planning to perform at an open mic night. He'd missed performing. It had been far too long since he'd just gotten out his guitar and played songs. Granted, with the cast now it would be a little harder, but he'd been practicing and his fingers were still usable from the middle to the tips so he had _something. _

He just needed to perform.

So, he finally found an open mic night that worked for him. It was perfect, actually. Kurt told him about the college AA group that met at his favorite campus café, so he looked them up and contacted them the day following his relapse. They encouraged him to come to the next meeting, that very Friday, which just happened to be open mic night at the café. Usually, the group got together and just enjoyed music and coffee and the company of others who understood their struggle.

Without hesitation, Blaine not only signed up for the meeting, but also the open mic night. Of course, he also made it clear that Kurt's attendance to both was mandatory. Kurt was certainly not an alcoholic, but his boyfriend was, and Blaine needed him for moral support.

There was also the part where he needed Kurt to hear him play. His set list was specifically designed for Kurt. After that awful Saturday night, he had a lot of making up to do, and he knew music was the best way to do it. Or at least it was a good start.

Everyone had 3 songs, and Blaine requested to be the last performer so he'd have time for his meeting and time to gather his nerves. Since he was ending the night, they were a little more lax with him and allotted him 4 songs, which was perfect for him.

He'd been excited all week, ready to apologize to Kurt in the best way he knew how, but now as he sat in the café, he was nervous.

They'd just sat down to the meeting, Kurt so close to him that they were holding hands on top of Blaine's thigh. No one went around in a circle and said, "Hi, I'm John, and I'm an alcoholic," which Blaine was grateful for. That would have been awkward.

The leader of the group, Casey, smiled at each of them and said, "Welcome back, guys. I know it's not always easy to come to a café on a Friday night when we all know what we'd rather be doing, and I'm proud to see everyone from last week here again. We have a new guy, Blaine. His boyfriend Kurt is here for moral support."

Everyone greeted them and gave a little wave and to Blaine's pleasant surprise, no one gave them an evil eye for being together. It was probably stupid, but absence of homophobia still surprised him. He spent so much of his life being judged and looked down upon for being gay that it was still a new feeling to be so readily accepted.

"He's also playing open mic night tonight so we're all going to give him the support and encouragement he needs to get up on that stage and perform for us."

"What are you going to sing?" One of the guys asked. He was blonde with square, plastic hipster glasses and a fedora.

Blaine ducked his head and sneaked a glance at Kurt. "That's a surprise, actually."

"And don't bother trying to force it out of him," Kurt added, "I've been trying to get him to tell me all week and he's kept his lips sealed. There's no way we'll know until he starts singing."

"I'm sure whatever he sings, he'll do great," Casey enthused, flashing a wide grin.

Casey had soft chestnut hair that was to her shoulders, cut perfectly straight with no layers. Her enthusiasm and positivity actually reminded Blaine of a character on _Grey's Anatomy, _Arizona Robbins. Not that he watched _Grey's Anatomy _all that much. It was more of a, if-there-are-reruns-on-lifetime kind of thing.

At least that's what he told Kurt to avoid ridicule.

The rest of the meeting went about the same pace. He learned some names, and he knew he'd forget half of them by the next meeting, but the people there all seemed really friendly. They were there as a support system for each other and it was nice. They didn't try to hide the real reason they were there, but it wasn't all somber and dark. It was a light meeting of laughter and joy, with a hint of a therapy vibe thrown in.

Blaine was laughing at a joke somebody had told when the same blonde hipster from before—Lawrence, if Blaine remembered correctly—asked, "So what happened to your hand?"

He looked down at his hand, the one that wasn't holding Kurt's, and his face fell. Kurt squeezed the hand he was holding so Blaine would know he was there for him. They had both decided beforehand that Blaine would answer any and all questions honestly because if he lied, what was the point of even going to the meetings? 

"I, uh…I punched a wall. Repeatedly."

Casey nodded slowly. "Were you drunk?"

"Yes." Blaine cringed at the memory. "It was Saturday night. I…I'd been sober for 80 days before I just snapped. It was a bad idea and I knew it. Kurt was there for me, like always, but I get violent when I'm drunk and I just had to hit something. So I tore my room apart."

"Did you hit Kurt?" Lawrence asked.

Out of all of the people at the meeting, Lawrence was starting to become Blaine's least favorite. The guy was just way too nosey.

Blaine floundered for a second. He didn't want to lie, that wasn't something he wanted to do, but to admit to a circle full of virtual strangers that he'd almost hit his boyfriend wasn't something he wanted to do either.

Thankfully, Kurt stepped in for him. "No, he didn't."

"But he tried to, didn't he?" Lawrence pressed.

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again, but this time it was probably more for himself than for Blaine. "You know, I don't think that's really any of your—."

"Lawrence," Casey broke in smoothly, "remember what we talked about. Don't push people to talk about things they're not comfortable with sharing."

"If he wasn't comfortable with sharing he shouldn't have come with a cast on."

"Everyone is welcome no matter where they are in their recovery. You know that. We took you in when you were still showing up drunk. It's not your place to judge anyone."

Officially put in his place, Lawrence sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, looking both angry and ashamed.

"Blaine, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. We've all been there," Casey continued, focusing on Blaine now.

He gave a single nod of his head, looking down at the ground, before sneaking a glance at Kurt on his right side. Kurt was giving him a soft look that held nothing more than love and comfort. With Kurt's help, he raised his head to scan the group again and spoke. "I did almost hit him. But I didn't. I stopped myself. That's a good thing, right?"

"A very good thing. You should be proud of yourself. Blaine, this is your first attempt at quitting, right? This is the first time you've made the conscious decision to stop?"

"Yeah. Last Halloween, Kurt broke up with me while I was drunk and just…I was awful to him. I'd gotten drunk every night for over a week and he kept taking care of me but I was always so mean to him. We had a huge fight and in the end Kurt said that he couldn't keep watching me do that to myself—drink myself into oblivion. That was the last time I had a drop of alcohol until Saturday."

"Your first try and you made it a whole 80 days before your first relapse. That's impressive," Casey said. When Blaine scoffed, she continued, "It really is, Blaine. This isn't easy. Admitting that you need help and that you have a problem and then trying to stop it isn't an easy thing. We all know firsthand just how hard it is not to just lose yourself; to let yourself go and not have to worry about anything but that numbness, that feeling of utter bliss that takes over. Yet here you are, making the decision to come here and spend your Friday night in a coffee shop. This is a big thing. You should be as proud of yourself as I'm sure Kurt is of you for doing this."

Kurt unlaced their fingers so he could rub Blaine's back. "He's really self-deprecating. We're working on it."

Blaine just let what Casey said sink in and listened for the rest of the meeting. Others talked about their struggles so that Blaine wouldn't feel so different. As it turns out, Casey was only sober for 23 days before she gave in and had her first relapse. Lawrence had stopped being obnoxious enough to share his own story, which included him being sober for only 11 days before he gave in. Compared to the others, Blaine was doing really great in his recovery, and that was encouraging to hear.

Eventually, the hand Kurt was using to rub circles slowed and just rested on his back, occasionally running up and down his spine but other than that remaining still. But for Blaine, even just that palm resting there was a steady reassurance that Kurt was there for him, and that's all he needed to make it through the evening.

Finally, the night was winding down. Coffee cups had been emptied and refilled and emptied again. Many pee breaks had been taken due to the consumption of so much coffee. Performer after performer had gone up and played their songs, all varying in styles and genres. Before he knew it, the emcee was announcing Blaine.

"You're going to do great," Kurt smiled, kissing Blaine's cheek before Blaine stood up, guitar case in hand.

"Because I have you to sing to," Blaine replied with a wink before heading up onstage.

He set his guitar case down and opened it up, lifting his guitar out and wrapping the strap across his shoulder and torso. He perched himself on the edge of the stool that was up there and leaned into the microphone with a smile. "Hey, everybody. I know it's late so thanks for sticking around long enough to listen to me do my thing up here."

The crowd gave a soft laugh and Blaine grinned before he arranged the fingers of his right hands on the guitar strings to form the opening cord, managing to hold a guitar pick in his left hand despite the cast. He laughed into the mic, "And don't worry about the cast. I've been practicing and I promise it won't make me suck any more than I already do." He winked again and when the crowd laughed a little louder he knew he had them hooked. For it being almost 11 o'clock at night, there was still a good group of people. Probably because it was a college café and students tended to live a nocturnal life.

He inhaled deeply, shutting his eyes for a moment and just letting himself melt into his guitar, then exhaled. Then, he began to play.

_The storm is coming but I don't mind_

_People are dying_

_I close my blinds_

_All that I know is I'm breathing now_

This song was everything to him at that moment. When he first discovered this song in high school, it was a life saver. It was when he still lived with his parents and he just hated everything about his life. This song…all he could do was keep breathing. He couldn't control his parents or the way they treated him or the fact that he was dealing with trying to accept the fact that he was gay before he even had the chance to see how his parents would react. His world was falling apart but he was the only one who could see it and he didn't know what to do. But then this song came along and that line, _All we can do is keep breathing, _became his mantra.

_I want to change the world_

_Instead I sleep_

_I want to believe_

_In more than you and me_

_All that I know is I'm breathing_

_All I can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing now_

Now, with his situation with the alcoholism and Kurt, this song was relevant once again. This first year was going to be a struggle. Everything was going to feel like it was falling apart again but this time he had Kurt. It wouldn't be easy, but if they just kept breathing, it would be fine. They just had to remember that some things were outside of their control and the only thing they could do was go on and keep breathing.

_All that I know is I'm breathing_

_All I can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_All we can do is keep breathing_

_Now_

The song drew to a soft close and he smiled slightly before looking to Kurt to make sure that Kurt understood. Judging by the Love Look, he took that as a yes.

Patrons clapped and Blaine bowed his head gratefully. "Thank you." He moved into the next song smoothly, knowing that he needed to keep going before he lost his nerve. Other people might not notice because they didn't know him, but he was basically laying his heart and soul out in the open, leaving nothing hidden, for Kurt to take. He had to if he wanted to do this right.

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer_

When Blaine glanced up he saw the way Kurt's eyes sparkled and knew that he was on the verge of tears. This song…It went way back with them. It went back to a time when they were _so _happy. It was also the song that he sang softly to Kurt as they lay in bed the morning of the first night Blaine would get drunk in front of Kurt. Essentially, that day had been the snowball that started the avalanche. But in that moment, on that morning, in that bed with Kurt, with this song, everything was perfect.

_I have died everyday waiting for you_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

By the time he finished that song, he had tears in his own eyes. He wiped them away, though. He knew he needed to make it through his set list. To everyone in the shop, it probably seemed like the most random set list ever. And most open mic night performers played their own original stuff, not covers. But Blaine didn't care. These songs were important and crucial to his apology to Kurt.

Blaine could tell by the look in Kurt's eyes that he knew now that this was an apology.

The next song was actually really random for him. Carter had been playing it in the background while he was studying one day after the break up but before the reunion. At the time, it broke Blaine's heart, but now it was perfect.

_I'm not a perfect person_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do_

_But I continue learning_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_And the reason is you_

This one was probably the most important. This song…it was everything. If Kurt took away nothing else from this, it had to be this song.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you_

_It's something I must live with everyday_

_And all the pain I put you through_

_I wish that I could take it all away_

_And be the one who catches all your tears_

_That's why I need you to hear_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_And the reason is you_

Most of the song he played with his eyes closed because it just hit so close to home. Even singing it, his heart was breaking. It was everything. It was them. It was the way Blaine felt about Kurt and Kurt needed to understand. He had to know because Kurt was always the one showing affection, showing how much he cared, making sure Blaine knew how much he was loved.

But how often did Blaine do that in return for Kurt? After the way his alcoholism affected Kurt's self-esteem, he should have known that it would take more than an occasional "I love you" to know he was loved and every bit as beautiful—more so, even, than Blaine.

Once that song came to a close, he sought out Kurt's eyes and his heart broke even more. Kurt had a hand pressed to his mouth and obvious tears rolling down his face. It wasn't ugly crying; Kurt's face wasn't red and there wasn't snot and he wasn't making whimpers or other noises. It was just a few tears that were an outward sign of the way Kurt felt on the inside. It was an expression of the way Blaine's gesture affected him.

Blaine fought the urge to let his own tears go and smiled, leaning into the microphone as the applause died down. "Normally, I'd be done and they'd kick me off the stage, but through much coaxing and mostly because I'm the last performer, they've agreed to let me sing one more song. But if it's alright with you guys, I'm going to relocate to their piano, and I'm going to ask for some help on singing this song."

He stood up and came to the edge of the stage, smiling out at Kurt. "My amazing boyfriend Kurt is here for me tonight and he's…he's everything to me. And I can't sing this last song without him. So, Kurt, if you could just come help your loving boyfriend out?"

Kurt's face as he hesitantly rose from his chair and headed toward the stage was why Blaine turned on the puppy eyes and put the begging tone in his voice. It was the last thing Kurt wanted to do, especially since he'd been crying, and Blaine had predicted both reactions beforehand. When Kurt reached him, he whispered, "What are you doing?"

"Come sit at the piano with me and you'll see," Blaine whispered back.

Before he could see Kurt's death glare with his own two eyes, Blaine strode toward the piano towards the back of the stage and positioned the attached microphone to the appropriate level for him and Kurt. Kurt sat on his left side, away from the audience, and asked, "Are you okay to play with your cast?"

"I might botch a few notes but for the most part I'm okay."

"What are we singing?"

"You're about to find out."

Blaine began playing and singing at the same time.

_I should tell you I'm disaster_

_I forget how to begin it_

He'd been going slower than the actual song called for to give Kurt a chance to clue in, but he should have known Kurt wouldn't need it. Kurt jumped in immediately.

**Let's just make this part go faster**

**I have yet to be in it**

**I should tell you**

_I should tell you_

**I should tell you**

_I should tell you_

**I should tell I blew the candle out**

**Just to get back in**

_I'd forgotten how to smile_

_Until your candle burned my skin_

They sang flawlessly together, picking up the cues from each other perfectly and nudging each other's shoulders and sending flirty smiles and looks at the appropriate times. Kurt and Blaine were the perfect duet partners, as Blaine had always known.

_**Well, here we go, now we, **_**oh no**

_I know this something is here goes_

**Here goes,** _guess so it's starting to_

_Who knows?_ **Who knows?**

Even since their first date, this had kind of been their song. Two people with baggage coming together and both wanting to tell each other everything but not knowing how to begin. One being braver and more self-assured and one just feeling like a complete disaster. It was Kurt and Blaine in a single song.

_**Trusting desire, starting to learn**_

_**Walking through fire without a burn**_

_**Clinging a shoulder a leap begins**_

_**Stinging and older, asleep on pins**_

_**Who knows where? Who goes there?**_

_**Here goes, here goes**_

_**Here goes, here goes**_

_**Here goes, here goes**_

As Blaine played the final notes out, and as he told Kurt missing a few, Kurt grabbed his face and kissed him. It wasn't a light, chaste kiss, either. It was a whole hearted kiss that made Blaine weak in the knees even though it couldn't have lasted more than 5 seconds.

When Kurt pulled away and offered a hand out to Blaine to tug him up, Blaine didn't even hear the crowd.

When Blaine picked up his guitar and placed it back in the case and left the stage with it in hand, he didn't even see the people still left smiling at him and giving him thumbs-up.

When Kurt and Blaine left the coffee shop together, he didn't even register saying goodbye to his new college AA group or putting on his coat.

Nothing around him even entered his brain because he had tunnel vision for Kurt. Kurt, who just had permanent Love Eyes now and was in constant contact with Blaine from the moment he had started playing their song and singing it with him. From hand-holding to looping their arms together to soft kisses to head leans, Kurt was making sure that not a second went by when they weren't touching.

"You haven't let go of me since you joined me on that stage," Blaine murmured against the cold wind whipping their hair around.

Kurt put his mouth to Blaine's ear and said, "That's because I'm trying to control myself until we get to your dorm and I won't make it if I can't touch you the whole way there."

Oh. That was a very good sign.

Blaine sped up his walk.

They made it back to his dorm in record time and were pleasantly surprised to find Carter wasn't there. The second the door closed behind them, layers were being peeled and tossed onto the floor.

Kurt crashed their lips together as soon as the coats and scarves and winter gear came off. "That was," he said in between kisses, "the sweetest…most thoughtful…most beautiful…most heartfelt thing…you have ever…done for me."

"Mmm…I needed you…to understand…just how much you mean to me." Blaine pulled away so he could look into Kurt's eyes when he said this and not have to stumble his way through his sentences because his lips were otherwise engaged. "You're always holding me and kissing me and reminding me of how much you love me. I don't do it nearly enough for you. And after Saturday night—."

"Blaine—."

"No, let me say this. After Saturday night, I needed you to know that I appreciate that. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. You help me so much and I just trashed that on Saturday night and I almost…but I love you. I love you so freaking much that I can't even function without you. We communicate better through music and I knew I could speak to you and apologize to you so much better if I found the right songs."

"You definitely did," Kurt whispered, tilting his head slightly. "I was…touched. That seems like such a light way to put it, but you touched my heart with those songs. They were everything I needed to hear. I love you, Blaine. Thank you for what you did for me tonight."

There was no need for a response, so Blaine just leaned in again and captured Kurt's lips with his own, picking up where they left off.

…

_February 4, 2013_

_First Time Carter Needed Blaine's Help (Instead of the Other Way Around)_

Blaine watched his roommate pace back and forth in front of the TV from where he sat cross-legged on the bottom bunk, technically Carter's bed.

"…I just want to help. How can she deny me that? She's my girlfriend—I mean she's more than that, but the official title is girlfriend. Why won't she let me help? It's so obvious that she needs it and I want to be there for her. Why is that so hard for her to understand?"

"It's not," Blaine sighed. "She understands. It's you who doesn't understand."

Carter halted in his tracks and whipped around to face Blaine. "What don't I understand, then? Explain it to me, Obi Wan."

"You hate _Star Wars._" Carter groaned so Blaine changed tactics. "Look, it's complicated. I can't help you. You have to figure it out for yourself."

"You're a horrible friend."

"I'm not. You're just not trying to see it from her point of view. Her life is screwed up right now and she loves you too much to drag you into that and take you down with her."

"But that's not what she'd be doing!"

"That's how she sees it, though."

They'd been at this for almost an hour, Carter pacing back and forth and Blaine trying to calm him down and explain to him _why _Amanda was so adamant against letting Carter drop out and move to San Francisco with her. Carter was a guy who was only capable of looking at the here and now, not the bigger picture of the future. He didn't understand why helping now would hinder him in the future. Plus, as the guy said himself once, he didn't understand women.

Suddenly, Blaine was struck with an idea. "I think I know what you need."

"I need my girlfriend, _that's _what I need."

"I know. Just give me a minute and we can go," Blaine said, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts.

Carter eyed him suspiciously. "Go where?"

"You'll see. Just give me a second." He shot out a quick text and when he got one back just a minute later, he grinned. "Alright, grab your coat. We're going."

"Going _where?"_

"You're about to find out. Come on."

Blaine had his coat on and was out the door before Carter could argue further. They made the short walk in the snow and were at their destination in under 20 minutes.

The second Blaine had his hand on the door handle and was opening it, Carter grumbled. "Really? A coffee shop? That's your brilliant idea?"

"It's not just any coffee shop, Carter. This is my favorite campus coffee place. I come here all the time, specifically every Friday. But it's not about that, and it's not about the place, it's about the people who will be joining us in a matter of minutes."

Without further explanation, Blaine got in line and ordered his customary medium drip, then headed to their traditional armchair square in the corner that was empty, lucky for him. He sat down and waited for Carter to get his own coffee and sit with him and then they waited some more.

"Seriously, if we're just waiting for Kurt, I'm going to be pissed, because he could have just come downstairs not all the way—."

"Blaine!"

His eyes shot up and found the girls coming towards him. He stood with a smile and held his arms out, ready for the onslaught of hugs.

Jane was the first to hug him. Of course. She had always been the most enthusiastic of her group. Lucy stepped up next, a calm smile on her face. Nicole and Amy both wrapped him up in a hug at the same time, as if it was impossible for them to ever do anything without the other.

"We're just going to go grab our coffees and be right back," Jane told him, still smiling.

When Blaine sat back down, Carter was staring at him with his mouth open. "Who are they?"

"I call them the Ugg Girls in my head because the first time I met them all four of them were wearing Uggs but they're friends of mine. I met them here."

"What? What the hell are Uggs?"

Blaine laughed. "It's not important. They're good friends of mine and experts at relationships. You're having trouble in yours so I called in back-up."

"Blaine—."

"Trust me, Carter. They're good. They helped me out with Kurt and they can help you with Amanda, I promise. You need a female perspective; now you have four."

After a moment of thought, Carter leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Fine."

The girls came back and took the other two open armchairs in the square. Nicole and Amy tangled together on one, Jane settled into the other with Lucy perched on her left armrest.

"So," Jane started, "we have our coffees and we're ready. Tell us everything."

Even though Carter had agreed to it, he still hesitated, so Blaine jumped in and began on Carter's story for him. He explained everything about Amanda's situation at home and what Carter's plans were and what Amanda thought about those plans. Blaine laid it all out for them while Carter just remained still, face blank, as if he was listening to someone else's story and not his own.

Finally, Lucy turned to Carter and asked, "What's in it for you? If you do drop out and move to California, what's in it for you?"

"Amanda—."

"I didn't ask about Amanda. I asked about you. What are you going to accomplish by going out there?"

"Things are hectic for her right now. She's doing the best that she can but even for a single parent with years of practice, it's tough raising 3 children. She didn't have time to think about it and get used to it and find her rhythm; she was thrown into it. She needs my help."

"You're still only talking about her."

"She's the only one that matters."

"That's not true. You matter too."

"Not when it comes to this."

"I think what Lucy is trying to say," Jane cut in, looking at Lucy and then at Carter, "is that it can't just be about her. We understand that Amanda is important to you and she's having a rough time right now. We know she needs your help—we're not denying that—but a relationship is about two people. You have to take care of yourself too. And if you drop out of school and go out there, how do you think you're going to help? You'll get a job? You don't have a college degree yet. The best you'll find is something minimum wage. You'll have to work all day every day just to scrape by. You want to provide for her, I get that, but working 3 minimum wage jobs isn't the way to do it."

"Then what would you suggest?" Carter asked, though it sounded more like he was mocking and challenging them than genuinely looking for a different solution.

"Stay here and finish your degree. You're—what—a junior? When this semester ends you'll only have one more year. You're so close to finishing, and if you just get there and graduate and get your degree, you'll be able to provide so much more for her and her siblings."

"If I wait a year it might be too late."

"For what?" Lucy questioned. "Her dad's already gone. Her mom's already gone. She's got the kids, they're not going anywhere. It sounds like they're stuck for right now, so what difference does a year make?"

"It—… If I wait a year, it might be too long and then she won't go back to college. She needs to get her degree, too. That was our plan."

Amy answered this time. "It would be much easier for her to get a degree if she has someone who already has theirs and a stable job and time to take care of the kids in the evening while she takes night classes."

"You have to look at this like a marriage," Nicole added. "You do plan on marrying her, don't you?" Carter nodded. "There you go. You have to look at this situation like her brothers and sister are your children and you have to do what's best for your family. If neither of you has a college degree, your whole family will be much worse off than if just one of you graduated."

"But that's not fair," Carter pointed out. "Why am I the one that gets to have the degree? Why can't I drop out, move out there, and take her place so that she can return to college and get _her _degree?"

"It's not fair that she had to sacrifice her education," Lucy agreed. "You have a valid point. But that's what she had to do for her family. You have to do what's best for the people that you love. That's why she doesn't want you to drop out, too. She's trying to do what's best for you."

"But what about her?"

"She's made her choice. There are other people in the family that could have taken on the responsibility of her siblings when their parents died. Their grandparents, aunts, uncles, older cousins. She chose to drop out and take care of them and assume the role of a parent. That was her decision. You can't take that away from her. You have to respect the fact that she valued her family over her education."

"Why can't I make that same choice?"

"You would be by staying here," Jane explained. "If you stay here and finish your education, that act in itself is putting your family first and thinking of what's best for them."

The Ugg Girls and Blaine all remained silent while Carter rolled that around in his brain. This was why Blaine texted Lucy and asked if they were free for about an hour to help him. He knew that they were the only ones who would put it in a way that would make Carter understand.

It wasn't easy, Blaine knew, to make a decision like that; for Carter, knowing that Amanda was on the other side of the country and struggling with her new life, desperately needing help but having no one to turn to, all he wanted to do was go be that person to help her. Blaine was hoping, though, that he was starting to see why Amanda refused to let him.

Besides, if Scotty was being honest in the times they texted occasionally, he was actually helping Amanda now. If Amanda had Scotty's help with Amelia and Thomas now, things had to be infinitely easier. It wasn't ideal, since Scotty was still just a kid too, but Blaine knew that Scotty was aware of the fact that he had to step up or what little semblance of a family that they had left would fall apart.

"I think…" Carter shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the ground like it was trying to explain the situation to him but it was speaking in a different language. "I think I need to call Amanda."

"Go ahead. We'll keep Blaine entertained for you," Jane smiled.

Carter didn't even notice that she'd been teasing him; he was so lost and thinking so hard that all he could do was get up and go outside.

When he left, Lucy stood up and took his chair; then all four girls turned to look at him.

"So," Amy prompted, grinning at him from where she was wrapped up in Nicole, "tell us how you and Kurt are doing."

Blaine chuckled lightly and took a long drink from his coffee, which was now cool enough to drink without burning his mouth but still hot enough to not taste like shit. "We're, uh…We're doing really, really well."

Lucy cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Or are you just saying that?"

"No, we really are. I told you guys about that one night…"

"Right, that one night where you decided to throw away 80 days of sobriety and start all over again at day 1. How's that working out for you?"

"It's good. I haven't had anything to drink since then, so I'm at 16 days now, which sucks that I had to start over, but it doesn't even matter because it's not just that I haven't gotten drunk, it's that I haven't _wanted to. _Since that night I haven't even had the urge to go get drunk."

"You will," Jane told him. "You're still in your post-relapse phase where you're trying super hard because you know how badly you screwed up. But give it a month? It'll be just like that night. And you'll have to fight not to give in again."

"I know. But I will this time. I'll fight harder and I won't give in."

Nicole asked, "How do you know that for certain?"

"Because Kurt and I are at a really good place. I'm going to those meetings I told you guys about and Kurt is being completely supportive and I can't screw that up again. He believes in me and it's about time I do too."

"Good," Amy asserted with a nod of her head. "I like Kurt. Not that I've actually met him, since you still haven't introduced us, although now we know your roommate. When do we get to meet him?"

Blaine pondered the thought of when he could get Kurt and his Ugg Girls together. He knew they were busy with their lives and wasn't sure when they'd have the time or when he'd have the time or when Kurt would have the time. Surely, though, they could find some time for each other. Just an hour.

"How about Wednesday night?" Blaine suggested. "We can meet here and you guys can interrogate Kurt all you want."

Lucy grinned, looking a little evil—(she reminded him a lot of Santana sometimes). "That sounds perfect."

…

_February 14, 2013_

_First Valentine's Day Together_

"Blaine, seriously, when are you going to tell me what you have planned?"

"I told you, you'll find out tonight. Give me a kiss; I have to go to class."

Kurt scrunched up his face like this was the most unattractive thing he'd ever do and let Blaine kiss him on the lips before Blaine stood from their table in the cafeteria and headed for the doors.

It was their first Valentine's Day together and Blaine knew that with their track record of holidays—thinking back to Halloween and Thanksgiving—he absolutely _had _to get this one right. Though, with what he'd been planning, he wasn't worried. It wasn't anything elaborate, but it was them, and it was exactly what they needed after the chaos that had been their lives lately.

Carter had made the right decision and chose to stay at NYU and finish up and get his degree. He'd try to speed up the process, though, and take a full course-load in the summer to try and graduate in December. With Blaine's relapse now being 26 days behind them, things were going great, but he was still going to AA meetings and Kurt was still coming with him. Even though Kurt had said he'd forgiven him for what happened that night, Blaine still felt like he had a lot of making up to do.

He just hoped that the simplicity of the night would be appreciated by Kurt and not seen as Blaine just not putting any effort into the evening.

The day passed slowly, everyone around him in varying shades of red and pink and walking around with flowers and candies and stuffed animals in their arms. He tried his best to ignore them and stay secure in his plans for the evening.

Eventually, it was time for him to start setting up, which took an hour and a half. Then, at 8 o'clock on the dot, Kurt knocked on the door.

"Blaine?"

"Coming!" Blaine shouted, almost tripping over his feet to crack open the door. Kurt was standing there looking ridiculously adorable. "Hi."

"Hi. Are you going to tell me why the dress code was sleep-casual?"

Blaine laughed, noting Kurt's silk pajamas and fuzzy socks, and how painstakingly cute he looked in them. "Come in and see for yourself."

When Blaine opened the door further and ushered Kurt in, he expected Kurt to make some kind of noise. A gasp, or a laugh, or a scoff, or something. Instead, he got silence, and since Kurt was facing away from him, he couldn't read his boyfriend's facial expression.

He hoped that he didn't just screw this up.

Trying to better his chances of not completely ruining their relationship, he called out to Kurt, "Soulmate?" hoping that the use of the nickname would just melt Kurt on the spot so whatever he just did wouldn't seem quite as bad.

Kurt didn't turn around.

"Okay, let me explain," Blaine started. "I know that most couples go out on Valentine's Day, but because of that I knew all the restaurants would be over-crowded. And it's not that I didn't want to deal with the hassle of trying to get a reservation; it's just that Valentine's Day is supposedly a day about love and intimacy, and what's intimate about too many people all shoved into the same room talking over one another?

"So I built a fort. I got the okay from Carter beforehand, that way he wouldn't be mad that we would be on his bed, but I used all the blankets from my bed and the extra blanket I brought to make a kind of fort out of his bed and the space between his and mine above it. And let me just say right now that it took a lot of work to get all of those sheets to stay up like that and hang like that so if you think I didn't put in any effort you're wrong. Just throwing that out there.

"Anyway, yeah. We have a fort that's just for us, a special place for us to escape from the world, and I think that's much more intimate. And then I kind of—well, since our kind of theme song is 'I Should Tell You,' and one of the first things we did together as a couple was watch _RENT_, I figured it would be perfect for us to just snuggle in our own little fort and watch _RENT _together and sing along. I paid Carter $50 to give us the room for the night and let us use his bed, so it's also not like I was being cheap either, just throwing that out there as well."

After another moment of silence that had Blaine absolutely terrified, Kurt asked, "Are you done babbling now?" His voice sounded soft and scratchy, like he was…

Oh. Kurt turned around and he had tears in his eyes.

"Kurt? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, I just wanted to—."

"Because I'm in the middle of trying to decide if this is the sweetest thing you've ever done for me, but you've been doing so many sweet things lately it's hard for me to choose."

Wait. Did that mean…? "So, this is okay?"

Kurt gave a little laugh and took the couple of steps until he was throwing himself into Blaine's arms, burying his head into the crook of Blaine's neck. "Of course this is okay," Kurt breathed into Blaine's skin. "This is beautiful. I definitely don't think this was cheap or half-assed. It's perfect for us."

Blaine let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and brought his arms tighter around Kurt. "Oh, good. I was afraid for a minute that it wasn't what you wanted."

"It's everything I wanted before I even _knew _it's what I wanted."

They held each other for a couple more minutes before Blaine pulled away and suggested they go into the fort he'd so carefully constructed. He lifted one of the blanket curtains and tucked the corner up under his mattress so they had a hole to watch the TV out of, where the _RENT _DVD menu was already playing.

Once they found a comfortable position with Blaine lying down and Kurt lying half-beside him and half-on top of him, using Blaine's chest as a pillow, Blaine hit play. As the movie progressed, they sang along, always harmonizing perfectly. They giggled during "Light My Candle" when Mimi made the comment about her ass and Blaine slapped Kurt's and murmured, "I think she has some competition." During "Out Tonight," both of them got more lost in each other's eyes than they did in some girl shaking her ass and boobs for the camera. When "Will I" came on, it was more of a serious thing, and they both knew that it was a song they should respect. They sang along, but knew it was more than just a song. As they got older and became a bigger part of the LGBT community, they knew they'd have friends dying of AIDS too and needed to be respectful of those people.

When "I'll Cover You" came around, they sang along loudly, not caring if it disturbed the other people in the dorm rooms around them. That song was almost as important to them as their theme song, so it was mandatory that they sang it with all they had to give. Then, their theme song played and neither of them seemed able to sing. Instead, all they could do was stare at each other and just bask in the significance of it.

Angel's death in the movie had them both sniffling. "Without You" was a song that hit close to home for Blaine, and he knew it probably had the same effect on Kurt. Then the funeral…there was no way anyone could watch Collins stroke Angel's picture and sing the reprise of "I'll Cover You" without bawling like a baby. That was a song neither of them could bring themselves to sing to.

Before they knew it, the movie was over, and the credits were rolling, but neither of them could move.

"It's just _such _a good story," Kurt sniffled.

Blaine nodded. "I know. Deleted scenes?"

"Of course."

Blaine climbed out of their fort and switched to the other disc so they could watch the deleted scenes.

"I'm still angry that they cut the second half of 'Goodbye Love.' The second half is the best part of the song," Kurt said.

"I agree."

When "Halloween" played, it affected Blaine a lot more than he thought it would.

"Hey, Kurt?" he spoke up.

"Mmm?"

"We broke up on Halloween."

"I try not to think about it."

"No, I know, but I'm bringing it up for a reason. Angel's funeral was on Halloween. We broke up on Halloween. This song…it's kind of every bit as relevant to our relationship as 'I Should Tell You,' or even 'Without You.' Have you ever noticed how many parallels there are between our lives and this musical?"

Kurt was quiet for a moment. "I guess I never really thought about it too much."

"But now that you are…"

"…Yeah."

"It's kind of weird, isn't it?" Blaine asked, tilting his head down to really look at Kurt.

Kurt stared back up at him. He shrugged and said, "We have a musical romance. I think it's kind of fitting."

"Just don't die of AIDS in my arms and I'll be okay with it," Blaine said, smiling softly at Kurt and tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ears.

"I promise," Kurt returned, placing a kiss on Blaine's chest. Then, he sang, _"The earth turns; the sun burns; but I die without you."_

Blaine immediately sang back, _"Life goes on but I'm gone 'cause I die without you."_

The rest of their Valentine's night was spent covering each other in a thousand sweet kisses.

…

_May 18, 2013_

_First Family Milestone_

Blaine was eager to get back home for the summer when he'd finished his finals that Wednesday, but since Kurt's last final wasn't until Friday, they agreed he'd stay and then they'd both fly back to Ohio together on Saturday. Of course, Blaine slept the entire two-hour plane ride on Kurt's shoulder and would have slept until the rapture but Kurt woke him when their plane landed and laughingly helped a still half-asleep Blaine off of the plane.

The first thing they saw when they came through the boarding gates was Laurel and Bryan making out.

"I haven't even had a chance to hug her yet and you're already sucking face?" Blaine teased, effectively breaking them apart.

"Blaine!" Laurel maneuvered her arms in a weird way until they were close enough that she could wrap them around Blaine's body. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," he laughed, feeling a little more awake now but still drowsy enough to fall asleep in her arms.

He probably would have, too, if Kurt hadn't spoken from behind him. "Laurel? What is that?"

Laurel pulled away from Blaine as if Kurt had burned her and held her hands behind her back, eyes wide but a huge grin on her face.

Blaine looked back and forth between Laurel and Kurt before settling on Bryan, who looked about ready to shit himself.

"Okay, Blainers, don't be mad," Laurel cautioned.

"What am I going to be mad about?"

Bryan took a step closer to her and placed a hand on her lower back. Then…Laurel slowly moved her hands from behind her back and held her left one out to Blaine.

Her left hand with a diamond ring on it.

"Laur…is that…?"

"I take full responsibility for proposing to your cousin," Bryan interjected with a smile. "I'm unabashedly and wholeheartedly in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I know you guys are kind of a packaged deal and you and I haven't really had the chance to get to know each other really well but I'd like to because I love your cousin and I can't imagine that I wouldn't love someone who shares her DNA."

Blaine turned his head and looked at Kurt meaningfully for only about a second before they both burst out laughing.

"Oh my god!" Kurt gasped.

"I know!"

"He just—!"

"And it was just like—!"

"I know!"

Laurel huffed and latched herself onto Bryan's arm. "Okay, is someone going to tell me what's going on here?"

The couple laughed until their abs hurt and then Kurt explained, "He totally just did the babbling thing Blaine does."

"Hey, you used to do it too, when we first met!"

"Only when I was nervous because I thought you were going to turn me down!"

"How on earth could I turn you down? I thought _you _were too good for _me!" _

"I don't understand how me babbling was funny," Bryan complained to Laurel. "I was trying to prove myself worthy of marrying you to the most important person in your life and he laughed at me. I'm not sure this is going as well as we planned."

"Trust me, this is good," Laurel reassured him.

Blaine and Kurt shared a kiss to make sure they knew they both loved each other and would never turn the other down and then Blaine turned to Laurel and Bryan with a smile. "Congratulations. Seriously, I'm happy for both of you. I can't imagine why you'd think I'd be mad."

Laurel visibly relaxed and fell further against her fiancée's side; Bryan responded by wrapping that arm around her and pulling her close. "I thought that you might think we were moving too fast."

"Me? Judge you? For moving too fast? You do know that Kurt and I knew each other for less than a month and a half before we were saying 'I love you,' right? I don't think it's moving too fast. I think that if you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you know it. I knew Kurt was my Soulmate the second I laid eyes on him."

Kurt attached himself to Blaine's side in the same way Laurel was on Bryan, creating a mirror image of couples. "I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with Blaine the moment I saw him."

"Oh, yeah?" Blaine asked, glancing down at Kurt. "Please, continue. Tell the rest of the story."

"Nice try."

Blaine groaned. "You do know that eventually you're going to have to tell me, right?"

"And that day is not today. Because today is the day that we found out your dearest cousin is engaged to a wonderful man and now we're all going to leave this airport and go out somewhere to celebrate."

"Sounds like a plan," Bryan threw in with a smile.

It was funny how much Blaine liked Bryan even though he didn't know the guy that well.

"We have other news too," Laurel declared as they made their way towards baggage claim. "But we'll save that for the restaurant."

"Laurel, if you're pregnant already, I swear to god—."

"I'm not," she laughed. "I promise."

The group arrived at baggage claim and waited patiently for all of Kurt and Blaine's bags to come around, making idle chat about everything they'd missed with one another. Eventually all the bags came so Laurel and Bryan helped Kurt and Blaine to take everything out to the car, load it, and head to a restaurant. After some debate about where they'd be going for dinner, they settled on the ever-cliché Breadstix, because somehow Bryan had managed to live in Lima for 7 years now and never eat there.

Once they all sat down and made their drink orders, Blaine said, "Alright, I'm not waiting anymore. Tell me your other news."

Laurel grinned and announced, "I'm going to grad school."

"Wait, really?" he asked, jumping in his seat a little. "That's great, Laur! I'm so happy for you! That's what you've always wanted to do, right? This is amazing!"

"Thank you." She reached across the table and grabbed Blaine's hand. "Seriously. I appreciate your support in this and with Bryan. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Of course I support you, Laur. I just want you to be happy. I've always wanted to see you fall in love and finally manage to get to grad school."

"Good."

"I'm really happy for you," Kurt offered, smiling at Laurel.

"Thank you, Kurt," she smiled back.

After a moment, Blaine asked, "But, wait, how can you afford that? I thought with how much you had to spend on me—."

"It's actually kind of a funny story," Laurel said, chuckling lightly and glancing to Bryan sitting next to her. "That's how Bryan and I met. You remember how I told you he works at a bank and handles loans? He's in charge of student loans. He and I met when I was trying to take out a loan for grad school."

"And of course she came in there with those eyes and that smile and I couldn't say no," Bryan joked, smiling softly at her.

It was the same smile that graced Kurt's face when he was giving Blaine the Love Look and it made Blaine's heart positively melt with joy for his cousin.

"Anyway, that's how I'm paying for it. I got a student loan," Laurel explained, leaning up and giving Bryan a quick kiss on the lips.

Dinner passed smoothly with nice conversation between the two couples and eventually, they all clambered into the car together and headed back to the house. When they were around the block from home, Blaine was struck with a thought.

"Laurel?"

"Yes?"

"If you and Bryan are getting married now, does that mean he moved in?"

"Not yet. He'll be moving in with us at the end of the summer so you and I can have a couple more months together on our own before he shakes things up."

Blaine laughed. "Good. Not that I don't like you, Bryan, but I think I'll miss it just being me and her."

"Oh, please!" Laurel protested from the passenger seat. "Kurt is _always _with you at our house. That or you're at his house! It hasn't been just you and me since you met him."

"She has a point," Kurt added with a smirk. "Not that I'm exactly complaining to waking up every morning in your arms."

"Oh, my god," Laurel sighed. "Be prepared, Bryan. They're worse than us."

"I didn't think that was possible."

"Trust me. Kurt and Blaine beat out every couple on the planet for Most Nauseating."

Blaine leaned across the seat and pulled Kurt in for a kiss. "You bet we do."

…

_July 30, 2013_

_First Time Being Mistaken For a Married Couple_

Blaine and Kurt were sitting at a booth at the local ice cream parlor with Alex in between them. (Kurt had wanted to go to a frozen yogurt place, but they wouldn't have time to go all the way to Columbus with the time restrictions that Mr. and Mrs. Anderson implemented on Blaine's time with Alex. So they just settled for ice cream.

They'd just been talking about Alex's adventures so far this summer when an elderly couple came up to them.

"We're sorry for interrupting," the woman said with a smile, "but you have the most beautiful family."

Kurt looked at Blaine like a deer in the headlights. "Pardon?"

"Your son is just darling. He looks just like you, dear," she stated, gesturing to Blaine.

"Thank you," Blaine managed. He offered a smile back. "That's very kind."

"Come on, Clara. You've taken enough of their time," her husband said, ushering her out the door.

Kurt and Blaine were quiet for a moment before they looked at each other over Alex's head.

"Did we just get mistaken for a married couple with a child?" Kurt asked him.

"I think we did."

"And were they just _accepting _of it? In _Ohio?" _

"I think so."

Alex looked back and forth between the boys. "B'ainey, you gotta listen to my story!"

Honestly, Blaine couldn't listen to Alex's story if he tried. He was too busy picturing exactly what the old woman had insinuated. His future with Kurt, taking their son to get ice cream for his birthday.

"I love you," Blaine said, leaning over Alex's head to give Kurt a soft kiss.

"Mmm. I love you, too," Kurt smiled as they pulled away.

"_B'ainey! Kurtie! You hafta listen to my story!"_

The couple laughed before Blaine said, "I'm all yours, little man."

…

_May 8, 2016_

_First Day Living Together_

"Blaine, I can't believe we thought it was a good idea to move in together the day before finals week. Why did we think this was a good idea?"

"Because the day _after_ finals week would be too late. We'd already be kicked out of the dorms. Quit complaining, that was the last box."

Kurt heaved a sigh and collapsed onto their couch that they found at Goodwill. "Thank grilled cheesus."

"I will never understand what that means."

"You don't want to. Trust me."

Blaine laughed and set down the last box on the small island in their small kitchen, then made his way into their small living room and collapsing onto their big couch, leaning against Kurt. "I'm exhausted."

"You better not fail your finals, Blaine Anderson. If you fail a final and don't graduate with me less than a week from today I will murder you."

"I highly doubt that."

"Fine. But it would not be good. The cold shoulder will be a lot more effective now that we live together."

"We live together," Blaine echoed, smiling and collapsing until he was lying down with his head in Kurt's lap.

Kurt started running his fingers through Blaine's hair. "Finally. It took us a month to say 'I love you' and four years to move in together."

"Yeah, yeah. It's not my fault that _someone _decided to change their major and then kicked ass at it and took every internship offered. An intern doesn't get paid, Kurt. You were working for free. How does that help pay the bills?"

"It doesn't. But it'll help me pay the bills in the future when someone hires me for an actual _paid _position."

During the summer after their freshman year, Blaine and Kurt talked a lot about how that year had felt really unfulfilling for Kurt academic-wise. College wasn't what he thought it would be and he wasn't getting the joy from the music program that he thought he would. They made a list one night of all of the things Kurt enjoyed and essentially decided that none of them would make a suitable career for him. The next morning when they got dressed for the day, Kurt criticized Blaine's outfit choice and laid a new one out for him, and that's when Blaine knew.

Fashion.

When he pitched the idea to his boyfriend, Kurt kissed him soundly on the mouth and said it was almost perfect, but amended it a little bit. Kurt's heart was still in the theatre, regardless of whether he'd be a performer or not. So he settled on costume design. He'd still be helping to tell the story, but through the _clothes, _and that was more magical to Kurt than telling it with his own voice. After a few calls were made, he successfully changed his major to theatre design with a costume emphasis.

Kurt had a few internships at a few different off-Broadway theatres as a dyer and cutter and draper and other smaller jobs around the theatre, but had yet to actually help _design _anything. He was hopeful, though, now that he'd be getting his degree on Saturday.

Blaine couldn't be more proud of him.

"And do you really think that all of your open mic nights and random miniature gigs will be enough to pay the bills?" Kurt countered.

"Not quite. But at least I'm getting paid for them."

After his first open mic night, he'd been asked to come back and play every Friday. With that kind of response, Blaine expanded his range and began playing at other local coffee joints and family-owned restaurants around the city. The more places he played, the more people were beginning to recognize him, and the more gigs he was getting. People came up to him after shows and asked him to play birthday parties and other small things.

He was starting to get his name out there and it was _thrilling. _Especially since he was doing it with his own music and he was no longer just playing covers—though he threw a few in there every now and then.

"Our first night in our first apartment together and we're already arguing over bills. Blaine, I think we're becoming a normal couple."

"Shit. You're right. What can we do to get our unordinary status back?"

"Sex on the couch?"

"I'm pretty sure that's a normal couple activity."

"Hmm. Then I vote we try to get our unordinary status back tomorrow. After sex on the couch."

"I second that motion."

"I had a feeling you might."

…

_December 24, 2016_

_First Christmas Together In Their Apartment_

Blaine made the final touches on the mistletoe above their bedroom doorway—the very _special _mistletoe—before grinning.

This was it.

"I can't believe it took us until _Christmas Eve _to put up our Christmas decorations!" Kurt called from the living room.

"We're busy people, Kurt! You don't even believe in god so I hardly think it matters when we put up decorations celebrating Jesus' birth," Blaine yelled back.

"Jesus wasn't even born in December. I mean, theoretically, if there was a Jesus, historians say he would have been born in August or something."

Blaine couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculous boyfriend. "I'm done in here if you're done out there!"

He needed to call Kurt to him now before he lost all of his nerve. He was already shaking and he really didn't want to back out from this just because he was nervous.

"I'll come inspect in just a second!"

After two minutes, he spied Kurt headed down the hallway towards him. The second Kurt turned the corner and began walking down the hallway he looked irked. "Blaine! I told you to decorate! You didn't put up anything!"

"I did. I hung mistletoe." Blaine pointed above him.

"Really, Blaine? And in our bedroom doorway. Are you trying to seduce me every time we go to our room?"

"Maybe."

Kurt was standing right in front of him now, but not in the actual doorway. "It looks nice. The little decoration you actually did looks good, Blaine. How could I send you here and tell you to decorate and you do nothing but hang mistletoe? What have you been doing this whole time? Actually, you know what, it looks a little…" Kurt trailed off as he really _saw _the mistletoe—and the engagement ring attached to it. "…off-center," he finished, looking down to find Blaine down on one knee.

Blaine smiled patiently up at him. "Sorry. I was a little distracted when I was hanging it."

"Blaine…"

"I have a speech. You know how I love to ramble." The corners of Kurt's mouths turned up softly and he nodded his head wordlessly, so Blaine began. "Kurt. Soulmate. I love you. I have loved you for so many years now that it doesn't even feel like there was a time when I didn't. After my parents and Trevor and everything—which all seem _so _far away now—I had trouble trusting people. It was just me and Laurel and I was content with that. But then you came along and even on our first date you were letting me in and trusting me wholeheartedly—enough to take me somewhere sacred to you. You shared one of the most intimate details about your life with me that day and you barely knew me. Having someone put so much faith in me without even knowing me was definitely something different.

"_You _are something different. We had a lot of problems at first; I did, at least. I had a hard time finding my footing with us and I made a lot of mistakes. That Halloween I will never forget was the worst night of my life—but it was also the best. It woke me up and made me realize that I had to change if I wanted to keep you, and keeping you was never something I questioned. I knew I needed to have you forever. We had a hiccup, at first, when I was struggling to get a grip on my alcoholism. But after that first awful relapse I never had another one because I couldn't imagine ever hurting you and that's exactly what I'd done that night.

"I've been sober for 4 years because of _you, _Kurt. You helped me to become the person kneeling before you today, down on one knee, shaking like a dog because I'm still so afraid of losing you and I can't stand the thought of living without you. But that's why I'm doing this. Because I can't live without you, Kurt. And I know that you and I don't need a piece of paper or a ring or a ceremony to know that we'll be together forever and that we're committed, but I _want _to do all of those things with you.

"So here I am, on my knee before you in a non-sexual way, saying that I love you with everything I have and everything I am, Kurt Hummel. I gave you my heart a long time ago, and now I'm asking if you'd take my last name too—hyphenated, of course.

"Will you marry me?"

The tears Kurt had been holding back through Blaine's speech finally burst out along with a little cry as he pulled Blaine up and captured him in a wet, loving kiss. "Of course I'll marry you," Kurt murmured against his lips.

"You're saying yes?" Blaine asked, pulling away and trying to catch his breath. He knew Kurt would say yes, of course—his nerves were just over his speech—but hearing Kurt actually say the words aloud was _very _different in a _very _good way.

"I'm saying yes."

They continued kissing under the mistletoe for a good 5 minutes until Kurt backed away, leaned against the doorway, and gasped, "Oh, my god, Laurel and Bryan's daughter is going to make the _cutest _flower girl _ever_."

…

_You are cordially invited to attend the non-alcoholic wedding of_

_Kurt Elizabeth Hummel_

_And_

_Blaine Daniel Anderson_

_to take place on October 31, 2017_

_(Non-Halloween theme; Please do not arrive in costume. Clothing is black-tie formal)_

…

_July 27, 2017_

_First Wedding Announcement Delivery_

Blaine held the cream-colored envelope in his hands in the passenger seat and stared down at it.

Kurt laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It will be fine, Blaine. We'll just give it to them and then take Alex out to the zoo or something. Eight-year-old boys like the zoo, right?"

He wanted to respond but he was just too nervous. "What if they rip it up right in front of me?" Blaine whispered. "What if they open it and rip it up right in front of my face? Or throw it in the fireplace? Or give it back without a word? Or say I can't see Alex anymore?"

"None of that will happen, sweetheart. It's going to be okay. We don't have to invite them, you know."

"I know, but I want Alex to come and he won't be able to if I don't invite them."

"Then let's go inside."

Blaine sighed but nodded, opening the car door and climbing out.

As agreed upon years ago, Blaine and Kurt came to visit Alex and see him for a few hours every end-of-July for his birthday and Christmastime. This year he'd turned 8, which was so surreal for Blaine. He'd watched the boy grow up by 6-month increments for the past 4 or so years. Thankfully, Alex had been in remission the whole time with no indication that the cancer would come back any time soon.

If Blaine believed in god, this is when he would thank him.

They rang the doorbell and took a step back on the porch, waiting for the maid to let them in.

To their surprise, Alex himself answered the door. "Blaine! Kurt! I'm so excited to see you guys! Come upstairs and see all the presents that I got for my birthday!"

Blaine laughed as Alex took his hand and dragged him into the house, Kurt trailing in after him. "I'm not sure our parents want me to stay in the house for too long, buddy. Kurt suggested that we go to the zoo."

"_Awesome! _I love the zoo! Can we see the lions?"

"Sure."

"And the monkeys?"

"Yeah."

"And the—."

"Alex!" Blaine chuckled, "We can see all the animals you want. I just need to check with Mom and Dad to make sure they know you're coming with me."

It pained Blaine every time he had to call the Andersons "Mom" and "Dad," but he knew it would be confusing for Alex to call them Mr. and Mrs. Anderson when Alex knew they were brothers. Until Alex reached an age that was old enough to comprehend their complex family dynamic, Blaine would try to keep things as simple as possible.

"I thought I heard you," Mrs. Anderson said, eyeing Blaine and then Kurt. "Where are you taking him this time?" Her tone with him was cold and formal, like they were setting up a business transaction.

"We thought we might take him to the zoo," Blaine answered.

"Fine. Have him back by 5 o'clock."

She turned to go back to the living room where she'd come from when Blaine called out, "Hey, Mom?"

The woman stopped in her tracks at the endearment they never used. "What is it, Blaine?"

"I have something for you. I mean, it's mainly for Alex, but it's for you and…Dad…too."

Alex looked between them peculiarly. "What is it?" He asked.

Blaine held out the envelope to Charlotte who began walking and snatched it out of his hand. She opened it and frowned. "So you two are getting married."

It wasn't a question, but Blaine said, "Yes."

"Really?" Alex ran over and threw his arms around Blaine's waist. "That's awesome!"

"On Halloween. How very…" she trailed off and never inserted an adjective. "Why are you inviting us, Blaine?"

"Because I want my baby brother to be there. He can't come without you two."

Alex quickly detached himself from Blaine and stood in front of his mother, jumping up and down. _"Please _let me go, Mom! I _really _wanna go! I'll make sure to clean my room _every day _and help with all the chores and you can keep my allowance for the _rest of the year _if you let me go!"

Charlotte sighed, looking down at the invitation in her hand. "I'll discuss it with your father. Now go put your shoes on so you can go to the zoo."

The little boy rushed off to do as he was told and Charlotte disappeared.

"That went better than expected," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear.

"She didn't even say it directly to me. She told _Alex _that she'd discuss it with Dad. She wouldn't even give me an answer."

"There was no ripping or burning or returning or loss of Alex privileges. She didn't even tell him flat-out 'no.' That's something."

"Yeah," Blaine agreed. "That's something."

…

_October 31, 2017_

_First—(and _Only_)—Wedding_

Blaine paced back and forth in the room he was getting ready in, trying to do his bowtie and failing every time.

"Let me do it," Carter demanded, slapping Blaine's hands away and stopping his obsessive pacing.

Scotty snorted from the corner. "Do you even know how to tie a bowtie, Carter?"

"I'm his best man. I googled it last night."

"I still think _I _should have been his best man," Wes argued.

"Please, Wes. You would have taken him to a _female _strip club for his bachelor party," David said. "I would have made a much better best man."

Laurel swept into the room, their newest baby daughter in her arms and their older daughter trailing behind in her flower girl dress with Bryan following and closing the door behind them.

"Oh, my god, Blainers, you look so _handsome! _I'm going to cry and ruin my make-up!"

"Dear god, please don't cry again," Bryan muttered. "I love you, honey, but enough with the tears. We're all happy for them."

"This is a big day, okay? I'm allowed to be emotional."

"Please don't cry anymore, Mommy," Tessa pleaded, tugging on her mother's dress.

"I won't, baby, I promise," she smiled, wiping at her eyes with the hand that wasn't attached to an arm cradling her other baby. "See? I'm already done."

"Good."

"There," Carter said, patting Blaine on the chest when he finished tying the bowtie. "You look great, Blaine."

"Thank you." He crouched down and held out his arms to Tessa. "And so does my favorite little cousin! You are a beautiful flower girl, Tessie-Girl!"

Tessa giggled and ran into his arms. "Thanks, B'ainey."

It made Blaine's heart clench at the endearment; once upon a time, his little brother called him that.

"Do you think they'll come?" Blaine asked, picking up Tessa and settling her on his hip.

No one offered reassurances.

Blaine knew it was a longshot. His mother's face hadn't looked all that promising when he'd handed her the invitation all of those months ago, and they never sent their RSVP, but still; he couldn't help but hope.

Amanda, Rachel Berry, and Lucy poked their heads into the room. Blaine almost had to do a double take even after all these years to see Lucy without Jane, Nicole, and Amy at her side; even though he knew they were with Kurt helping him get ready.

Rachel said, "Blaine, Kurt told us to tell you that everything is going to be fine and if they show up it will be great but if not you should be happy to marry the most attractive and charming and talented man in all of New York."

"Also he said that he's ready whenever you are," Amanda added.

"And that he loves you," Lucy finished.

Carter crossed the room and planted a kiss on his wife's cheek. "He's ready."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked again, narrowing her eyes at him. "You better be sure, Blaine. I won't have someone second-guessing their marriage to my best friend."

"He's my best friend, Rachel," Blaine pointed out.

"You don't count," Lucy stated simply. "You also give him sex. That gives you the upper hand."

"What's sex?" Tessa asked in Blaine's arms.

Laurel's eyes almost bugged out of her head. "That's something only adults can talk about, okay, honey?"

Scotty was howling with laughter in the corner along with Wes and David so Amanda charged into the room and crossed her arms in front of them. "Cut that out right now or I'll make you three sit in the chairs like every other guest."

"You can't take away our groomsmen privileges, Mandy. It's Blaine's wedding."

"Okay," Blaine said, holding up his hand to stop all of the chaos. "I love you all, but I need a minute alone. Bryan, take Holly from Laurel and go find some seats. Amanda, Rachel, Lucy, go back to Kurt. Tell him I'll be ready in 5 more minutes. Laurel, take Tessa and wait in the hall with Carter, Scotty, Wes, and David until I'm ready to start."

He took a deep breath and sat down on the chaise in the middle of the room as everyone did as they were told. After a moment of bustling, he was alone.

Finally.

He loved his family and friends dearly but they were driving him insane and he just wanted a minute to think. He wanted to think about Kurt and their day and what they were about to do. This was a big step, a big day for them, and he couldn't handle the craziness of the people in his life.

After a good few minutes, a knock sounded on Blaine's door.

"I'm almost ready," Blaine said to whoever was knocking. "Just a couple more minutes."

"It's me, kid."

Blaine immediately blew out a huge sigh of relief. "Burt, _please _come in."

The door opened and Burt laughed as he stepped into the room. Blaine stood and walked over to his soon-to-be father-in-law.

"Having cold feet?" Burt asked.

"Not at all. It's just a big day, you know? I'm one hundred percent certain about what I'm about to do, I just want a few minutes to digest it."

"Sounds logical to me. Why don't you sit back down and we can just relax for a second?"

"Okay."

The men sat down on the chaise and Blaine leaned against Burt's side. "I love your son."

"If I had a dime for every time you've said that to me, Blaine, I'd be a very rich man."

"I just want you to know. I know it's probably hard to give your son away."

"I lost my son to you a long time ago, kid. This is just the day you guys are making it official."

"How does he look? I bet he looks beautiful. He always looks beautiful, but I bet he looks especially beautiful today."

"My boy looks pretty sharp. Both of my boys do."

Blaine smiled. "Thank you."

They relished in silence for a couple more minutes before Burt said, "Kurt's gonna be pissed if you guys don't start right on time."

"I know."

"Don't freak yourself out, Blaine. Kurt's been waiting for this day since he first met you; he's ready. You both are. You're more in love than I've ever seen anyone and this is a good thing for you two. I always imagined the first boy my son brought home to be unworthy of him; I figured I'd have to get out my shotgun and intimidate him until he ran for the hills. But I'm glad you're the first boy he brought home. I'm glad you're the _only _boy he brought home. You're perfect for him and I can't imagine him marrying anyone else. I'm happy for you, for the both of you, and I'm so proud."

Blaine's heart swelled. That was exactly what he needed to hear to go out there. "Thank you, Burt. Again. I can't…I can't thank you enough—I mean for everything, not even just today but—."

"You wanna stand here and thank me a million times or go out there and marry my kid?"

He laughed and they both headed out into the hallway.

Waiting out there for him, standing next to Laurel, was Alex.

"Blaine!" Alex ran into him and attacked him with a hug. "You look awesome! Like James Bond awesome!"

"How do you even know who James Bond is?" Blaine laughed. "You're a little young for James Bond."

"Mom and Dad gave me some of your old video games. I saw Kurt too, and he looks really awesome too. You guys are gonna look awesome."

Awesome was Alex's new favorite word.

Blaine was so happy that he didn't even care how many times Alex said the word, he just hugged his little brother back as tight as he could. "You're looking pretty awesome yourself, little man."

"Thanks. Mom dressed me and Dad tied the tie."

Blaine stiffened. "Are they here?"

He was aware of all the eyes on him—Burt, Laurel, Wes, David, Carter, Scotty—but he didn't care. Let them think what they wanted; let them judge him for hoping his homophobic, asshole parents would come to his wedding.

"Yeah. They're trying to hide in the back corner of the big room you guys are gonna get married in."

He could feel Wes and David staring at him with worried eyes—the last time they'd seen him react to seeing his parents was when he had a panic attack on Kurt's kitchen floor against the refrigerator—but he was better. He saw his parents every year twice a year, this was nothing new.

Except that it was. Because he still remembered the day he and Laurel had discussed him inviting them to his wedding and them throwing the envelope in the fireplace without even opening it. He still remembered the way that had stung to even _think _about. Yet here he was, with his little brother hugging him, and his parents in the ballroom with the other guests.

"Then I'd better go out there and get married, huh?" Blaine asked with a little laugh, wiping little tears from his eyes.

He ushered everyone to the back hallway outside the ballroom where he and Kurt would get married (since they were both against a church wedding) and headed to his own side hallway. The way Kurt had orchestrated it had Kurt and Blaine both entering the ballroom at the same time from opposing side doors, that way they both got to see each other arrive at the altar. Their groomsmen and women still entered together from the back, though, so Blaine was alone outside his door.

The song 'A Thousand Years' played as the wedding procession came down the aisle, lining up at the altar. It was an outdated song now but important to them as a couple so that's what they used. When it ended, that meant everyone was in their places and Kurt and Blaine were ready to come in.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

…

_First Dance As A Married Couple_

Blaine grinned at Kurt in his arms as their first dance song, 'I'll Cover You,' played and they swayed along, dancing in a circle.

"Hi, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."

"Hi, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."

If possible, their grins got wider. Blaine was absolutely positive that they were both staring at each other with the Love Look Blaine had finally grown so accustomed to over the years. Funny how at first the look was so foreign to Blaine he didn't even know what it was and now it was as natural to him as waking up in Kurt's arms every morning.

Kurt tilted their foreheads together and closed his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you," Blaine answered, closing his eyes too.

He shut everything out. The song, the people watching him, the decorations, everything, he just shut it out. In the end, this day was all about them, just him and Kurt. They had finally declared their love to everyone in a state that allowed them to.

"How are you feeling? In this moment, right now?"

Blaine remembered a time when Kurt had asked him that same thing; when they were lying in their spot at the arboretum, kissing lazily, enjoying just being together.

He smiled. "Overstimulated."

"Really?"

"No. That's just what I said the first time you asked me that and I didn't want to break pattern."

"Blaine," Kurt laughed, letting his head fall to Blaine's collarbone before pulling it up to look into Blaine's now open eyes. "I'm serious. How are you feeling?"

"There isn't a word in existence that could possibly describe how I'm feeling right now, Kurt. I'm so in love with you that I can't even form a coherent sentence to express it."

Kurt's smile softened. "I think that suffices."

…

_First Honeymoon Night_

Blaine and Kurt collapsed onto the king-size hotel room bed side by side, letting out identical sighs.

"I'm exhausted," Kurt announced.

"So am I."

"I thought planning the wedding was going to be the most hectic part."

"Please. You should have known that anything involving Wes and David would be hectic."

"Chaotic."

"Disastrous."

"Insane."

"Destructive."

"_They lit a tablecloth on fire."_

"Not on purpose. They knocked a candle over."

"I almost kicked them out of our wedding reception. I love you so much I didn't. I hope you know that."

They fell into silence for a couple minutes, both of them catching their breaths and going over the night in their heads.

"I still can't believe my parents came," Blaine said.

Kurt rolled his head and looked at his husband. "I can. I think they may be changing, Blaine. They changed from the people who kicked you out when you came out to them as a gay man to attending your gay wedding to another man. That's progress."

"Yeah. I think you're right."

"They might even come to our first child's christening."

A second ticked before they both just burst out laughing at the joke. They laughed until their stomaches ached and then Blaine crawled further up the bed and lay against the pillows. Kurt joined him a moment later, laying his head on Blaine's shoulder and throwing an arm over Blaine's waist while Blaine threw his arm over Kurt's.

"We're married," Kurt whispered.

"We're married."

"I mean we really finally did it. We dealt with all of the shit that we had thrown at us and we made it through and we got married. I mean, do you remember all the stuff that happened? It was years ago now. We had your alcoholism and Alex's cancer and your parents and even Trevor, regardless of the fact that he never actually physically came into our lives. We dealt with all of it together and now look at us."

"We did go through a little bit without each other. That's why we picked today to get married, remember?"

"Yes, but even a break-up couldn't keep us apart, Blaine. We're married."

"We're married."

"I still remember the day we met," Kurt said, nuzzling Blaine's neck and placing a kiss there.

Blaine sighed. "You better not be bringing that day up right now only to _still _hold out on me. Kurt, it's been more than 5 years. I think it's about time I heard the story."

"You know the story, silly. You were there."

"Soulmate, I swear to grilled cheesus—."

"That's another story you still don't know."

"I'm going to annul this marriage."

"You wouldn't dare. And you can't threaten annulment or divorce just to get me to tell you the story of how we met. That's not a very good way to get me to do what you way."

"Fine," Blaine smirked, flipping himself over to hover above Kurt so quickly that Kurt didn't even have a chance to fight it. He was on his hands and knees above his husband, each knee on either side of Kurt's hips and each hand on either side of Kurt's head. "I can think of a different way to coax it out of you."

He bent down and started trailing kisses from Kurt's jaw to his collarbone, giving extra attention to all the spots he _knew _drove Kurt mad.

"That's not fair," Kurt gasped out. "You're playing dirty."

"You've been playing dirty for 5 years."

"Mmm." Kurt pulled Blaine's head away from his neck and up so that he could attach their lips, already parting his and falling into their many kissing patterns. Blaine let his knees slide down the bed and relaxed his hips on top of Kurt's bringing his hands from the mattress to cup Kurt's face. He positively melted against Kurt's body, loving the way his husband's lips felt on his and loving the fact that he could call him his husband.

"How about this," Blaine proposed, only detaching their lips a centimeter apart so he could talk. "You tell me the story of how we met from your point of view, and after, we'll consummate our marriage."

Kurt actually whined. "You would not withhold sex from me over this."

"I would. I really, really would. And you would have to listen to me touch myself in the bathroom with thoughts of what you and I _could _be doing if only you hadn't been too stubborn."

Soulmate sucked in breath. "You would not."

"I _so _would."

"Fine. I tell the story and you fuck me until I'm limping onto that plane to Paris tomorrow."

"Only if you return the favor."

"Deal."

Blaine rolled off of Kurt and laid on his side beside him, propping his head up on his elbow and tracing Kurt's jaw with a gentle fingertip. "You do realize I've waited 5 years for this story."

"It will live up to expectations, I promise. So, I was starting my first day of college…"

…

_June 4, 2012_

_First Meet—Kurt's POV_

Kurt readjusted the strap of his shoulder bag one more time before he walked in.

This was his first ever college class. Granted, he was still in Ohio, but this was still a chance to reinvent himself. No one he knew was taking any summer college classes. This was his golden opportunity to try out his new persona—flirty, confident, and proudly gay. He'd been out and proud for a while now, but this was his first time to really show that without being shoved into a locker or thrown into a dumpster or bitchslapped by an iceberg.

This was his time to shine.

He was Kurt-freaking-Hummel and he was about to make every boy in the class want him—gay or straight—and every girl in the class dying to be his friend.

This was the moment.

Except for as soon as he stepped foot into the room, the wind was completely knocked out of him because the first person his eyes landed on was a—literally, apparently—breathtakingly beautiful man.

_Oh, grilled cheesus, _please _be gay._

Crap. He could not already be losing his cool. He was supposed to be flirty and confident and here he was tripping over himself because he spied a cute boy in his class. He needed to get his act together. It's all about the character, he told himself. He needed to stay in character.

So he straightened his back and held his head up high and tried to make it up the stairs without tripping because he wasn't actually looking at where he was going because it was literally impossible for him to tear his eyes away from the stunning, raven-haired man.

The man who didn't even notice him; in fact, the guy seemed completely enthralled in whatever it was he was writing on that paper.

Of course. Why would someone like him notice someone like Kurt? Kurt was a nobody. Kurt was the kid who was invisible in the hallway. Kurt was the guy who never got picked for a solo. The guy he was drooling over was obviously some kind of demi-god and probably won every award that was given out at his high school. This guy was so clearly out of Kurt's league that it wasn't even funny. What was he thinking?

_Remember your character. You are a flirty, confident, proudly gay man. This guy is not out of your league. You are in the same league. _

At least, maybe if that's what he believed, the guy would believe it too and he might be able to get at least one date out of this.

He made his decision and sat down one seat away from the guy.

The guy still didn't even notice him at first. He was more interested in…what was that…music notes? He was doodling music notes? Even music notes were more interesting than Kurt.

After a moment, the guy must have sensed him looking at him. Kurt quickly looked away so he wouldn't be caught in his staring, but then he heard a pen drop. He glanced down at the floor between them and noticed the guy had dropped his pen.

_Bingo. A dropped pen is golden flirting material. The universe is doing you a solid, Kurt, don't screw it up._

Kurt picked it up and twirled it in his hand with a practiced ease that came from his many years of sai sword tricks. He held it out and said, "I think you dropped this."

He was actually quite impressed with himself because he'd managed to keep his voice at a steady and calm tone; it wasn't even doing that thing it did when he was nervous and jumped up an octave.

The guy was taking his time lifting his eyes up, which could only mean that he was gay and checking Kurt out, before he finally found Kurt's eyes. Then the guy's mouth fell open a little and he just _gawked. _

Was Kurt really that awful looking today? Surely not. He did his hair three times to ensure it looked its best, he'd worked on the outfit all week, there was no way it was about him looking bad. Still, even with the false confidence he'd gained being in the Cheerios, Kurt couldn't help but find the idea that the guy found any part of him attractive to be even more ridiculous.

Kurt frowned for a moment before the guy's face jogged a memory—but from what? If Kurt had seen this guy before, _surely _he'd know it.

The man finally reached out to retrieve his pen but Kurt held onto it and smiled; if he knew this guy already, maybe that would increase his chances of a date.

"Hey, I think I know you. Wait, hold on a sec." Kurt tapped his chin with the pen like he was so used to doing when he was trying to figure out a hard question on a test. He squinted, as if that would make him see any easier. Actually, the squinting made the guy a little blurrier, which did it because Kurt had only seen him from far away with vague features. "Aha. Imagine you in a navy blue blazer and voila!"

Confusion clouded those warm, honey eyes; Kurt liked the way he could read the emotion so clearly through the guy's eyes. "Dalton Academy Warblers. You were their lead vocalist junior year, and then I never heard one of your marvelous solos again."

Kurt paused, giving the guy a chance to respond, but it didn't look like he would. How was it possible for this guy not to talk? He was a lead vocalist in a show choir.

Well, if the guy wasn't going to talk, might as well have fun with him.

"Oh, I think I know what happened. Ursula has your voice, doesn't she? It figures. Now all you need is True Love's Kiss."

Maybe it was juvenile to use Disney to flirt, but if this was a man who couldn't appreciate classic Disney then there was no way they would work out anyway.

Which would be a shame because Kurt could already see their fall wedding clear as day in his mind.

He glanced around the room and turned back to the guy. _Flirty, confident, proudly gay. Proudly gay. _"Drat, where's Prince Charming when you need him, right?"

Kurt knew that line was a stretch. He knew that if this guy wasn't gay, he'd go running for the hills because that would be crossing a line that no straight man ever crossed. But for some reason, Kurt felt like it was worth the risk.

As he looked into those eyes, he saw the exhaustion of someone who had lived through a lot and knew that this guy needed someone to take a chance on him. Kurt was more than happy to be the one to do so.

"Blaine," the guy finally stammered out, snatching the pen from Kurt's hand in an almost rude way. "I'm Blaine."

Kurt chose to ignore Blaine's rude manners for the time being and just focused on the fact that this amazing guy was _finally _talking to him. "Oh, so you do talk? Darn, that means you must have already had True Love's Kiss." Kurt pretended to be deflated at the possibility that Blaine was in love already and looked down at his desk, a forlorn expression on his face. _Sell it, Kurt. The audience won't believe it if you don't._"I guess it's true what they say, all the good ones are taken."

"Or gay," came Blaine's immediate response.

Kurt was so taken off guard by Blaine's casual use of 'gay' that he whipped his head up. He searched those hazel eyes, silently begging _please be gay please be gay please be gay. _Blaine continued, "The expression. All the good ones are taken or gay."

He blinked to process Blaine's words and then smirked, because this definitely meant he was gay. He held his hand out to shake, because although Blaine had snatched the pen in his hand and clearly had no manners, Kurt Hummel was a gentleman. "My name's Kurt. I'm one of the good ones."

The smile that graced Blaine's face almost knocked the wind out of Kurt. This guy's smile, it was so genuine, but so worn down. The smile, though it was clear that it was his real smile at this point, didn't reach his eyes.

_Oh, Blaine. What happened to you?_

This thought only flitted through his mind for a moment before Blaine slipped his warm hand into Kurt's and Kurt couldn't even think.

It felt like if he had been on a gurney and dying in a hospital and they used those electric paddles to try and shock Kurt's heart into working again. The feel of Blaine's hand in his was an electric shock that restarted his heart and set his body ablaze, bringing him back to life. Kurt had been dead inside for so long that even the façade of being okay felt real at this point. But the way Blaine's hand felt changed everything.

Blaine asked him, "For which reason, the first or the second?"

"Hmm," Kurt hummed, like he was seriously considering answering even though in reality he was trying to calm down his erratic heartbeat. _Flirty, confident, proudly gay. _Just then, the professor walked in, so Kurt turned to face the front and said, "We're sitting next to each other for the duration of this class, so you'll have the next 4 weeks to figure that out."

The sound of Blaine laughing beside him was like music to Kurt's ears. That is, until Blaine spoke and Kurt let the words sink into his mind. "I'm not really known to be a patient person, so I'm just gonna throw it out there that I'm one of the good ones, for the second reason. And _only_ the second reason."

Was this guy…Was Blaine actually flirting with him? Was Blaine flirting back?

Oh, praise grilled cheesus. Praise every sandwich Finn Hudson has ever made. Praise everything Finn Hudson ever _touched _because this amazingly beautiful and devastatingly mysterious guy was flirting back.

"Good to know. I'm glad my shameless flirting went to good use."

Kurt spent the whole introductory lecture going over his conversation with Blaine. He couldn't believe he'd actually done it; he'd been the flirty, confident, proudly gay person he wanted to be and it _worked. _This guy was flirting with him and it felt _so good. _How the hell had Kurt even said half the things that he did? It was a miracle he hadn't just passed out in the chair or turned to dust.

It was working. He was becoming the person he wanted to be.

Except, now that image was changing.

Before he walked into that room, he'd wanted to be the guy that made everyone in the room notice him.

The second he set foot in there he only cared about _one _person noticing him. He realized with a jolt that even if Blaine was the only person to ever notice him again, he'd be happy. And that went against everything he had set himself up for that morning, but he didn't even care. If he could just have Blaine look at him with that wonder in his eyes for the rest of his life, he'd be happy. If he could wipe away that look of permanent desperation in Blaine's eyes, he'd be happy. In that moment, Kurt realized that the only thing he wanted was for Blaine to be as happy as he was in this moment.

When class was over, Blaine immediately asked, "How'd you know?"

Kurt was caught off guard again and had no idea what Blaine was talking about.

He must have looked as confused as he felt because Blaine then elaborated his question to, "How'd you know I was in the Warblers?"

"Oh," Kurt smiled, "I went to McKinley High. I was in the New Directions. We competed against you guys a few times."

Kurt threw the strap of his shoulder bag over his shoulder and headed down the stairs of the auditorium-style classroom to the door. He felt Blaine following behind him and was confirmed in his suspicions when Blaine asked, "Really?"

He immediately stilled and whipped around. He'd known the New Directions were practically nobodies, but here he was remembering Blaine's face and Blaine didn't remember his. He would have been embarrassed but he decided it was more about his group as a whole and not just him. "You don't remember us." Blaine didn't say anything to the contrary and Kurt's eyes widened. _How did we compete against them several times and he doesn't remember us? _"I can't believe we are _that_ forgettable, that you wouldn't even remember us less than a year since our last competition." He could read it in Blaine's eyes that he was trying to remember so Kurt spun around and kept walking. "If you're trying to remember my face in the group, don't bother. I was in the back all the time. Try picturing a miniature-sized brunette girl and a freakishly tall and lanky brown-haired boy."

Kurt knew that if Blaine had any chance at all at remembering the New Directions, he'd have to picture Rachel and Finn.

As predicted, Blaine said, "Ooh, I remember now."

Of course. Kurt scoffed, "Yeah, thought so."

"With a voice like yours, why didn't you ever get any solos?"

Kurt was so taken off guard again that he hesitated in his tracks. Blaine was knocking him off of his feet with every word and Kurt didn't know how to handle it. He'd never had someone surprise him so much just with their thoughts. He continued out of the building and teased, "I've known you for an hour and you're already antsing to give me solos. I like you."

It was a refreshing change from The Rachel and Finn Show, that was for sure.

That beautiful but tragic smile came across Blaine's face again. "It's what I do." Then Blaine shrugged like he just handed out solos to everyone all the time.

Wait a minute…

"That's right, I heard about that," Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder but quickly removed it when that electric current shot through him again. "That's why I never heard you sing last year. You decided that everyone deserves their chance to sing a solo and started giving them to all the guys in your group."

It was actually pretty noble, what Blaine did for his show choir. If Kurt had secured the position as lead vocalist there's no way he'd be willing to share the spotlight. Blaine obviously had a really generous and caring heart.

"How did you hear about that all the way at McKinley?" Blaine asked him.

"Our lead girl, Rachel, does extensive research on all of our competitions. When she heard about what you were doing, she was both outraged and ecstatic. She thought it was ludicrous to just hand solos out to everyone, and not just the most talented person in the group, but she was also happy because apparently that made you guys easier competition."

Blaine smirked, and Kurt realized with a pang in his heart that even his smirk didn't feel full. "And did it?"

Kurt pushed away the thoughts of Blaine's deeper life and smiled sweetly, knowing that Blaine had finally remembered their last competition and the results. "No. Although, I must say, I did miss your voice at all of those competitions. You're really good."

_There we go. Flirty, confident, proudly gay. Don't get thrown off by Blaine's pleading eyes or his half-hearted smiles or his compassionate spirit. Stay focused. This is temporary. You cannot get attached. In the fall, you'll start this whole thing all over again at NYU and catch the attention of a New York guy._

"I should hope so, I'm about to leave for NYU to study music at the end of the summer."

Wait. What? No. NYU? Surely, Kurt had heard wrong. His mind was playing tricks, mixing his thoughts with the words he was hearing. Because there was no possible way…

But what if…

Kurt didn't even realize he'd stopped moving altogether until he was staring at Blaine with what he was sure was an unattractive facial expression, but he couldn't help it. He was just thinking about not getting attached and meeting someone in New York when Blaine had mentioned NYU…

What if the universe was trying to tell him something?

He had to be sure. "I'm sorry?"

Blaine just continued like Kurt was only looking for an explanation on his academics. "Yeah. I just wanted to get some basics out of the way before I went there so I could hurry up and take the classes I actually care about, the music ones."

"And you said NYU, correct?"

"Yes?" Blaine's answer ended up sounding more like a question but it was still a _yes._

_This is not possible. Kurt, you do not believe in god. This is not the universe. There is no higher power at play here. But if there was…_

It was too coincidental. There was no possible way this could be happening without some kind of other force at play here. If there was ever a time Kurt considered a higher power, it was right now, with Blaine, who had basically just told him they would be going to New York together in the fall.

What did that mean?

The clear image of their autumn wedding came into Kurt's mind again, along with the fresh memory of the way Blaine's touch brought him back to life better than any mantra of _flirty, confident, proudly gay _ever could. And the way Blaine's eyes looked at him…

What if he was made for Blaine? What if this was the way it was supposed to be? What if Blaine was just this broken boy, just like Kurt, who needed someone to save him? What if that someone was Kurt?

Kurt could clearly see the man hiding underneath all of Blaine's walls. He could see the person that Blaine was all the way inside, all the way to his core. He saw the beauty of his heart and he knew that this was a boy who would become a great man.

But _how _could he see all of that?

Kurt shook his head to clear his thoughts away and smiled, aware that if he just stood there mute for too long he'd seem like he was mentally challenged. "What are the odds?" he said under his breath. He spoke louder, to Blaine directly, "I'm heading to NYU in the fall. I'm in the music program, too."

There. Let Blaine be blown away by the situation too. Kurt shouldn't be the only one having an existential crisis.

Blaine's face relaxed Kurt a little because he looked just as thrown off as Kurt. "What are you doing right now? Because I was going to go grab some coffee before I head off to my other class at 11am."

_No._

NYU was already coincidence enough; there was just no possible way. Except…

Kurt had to know. "What class?"

"Biology 131."

That was it, then. Kurt and Blaine were made for each other. Kurt would be the one to save Blaine and they'd end up happily ever after with a wedding in the fall.

Kurt couldn't help but smile, because he'd started this day thinking he'd have to pretend to be this totally different person just to get people to _like _him and here he was talking to the guy he'd end up _marrying. _

"I have that same class," Kurt laughed. He couldn't help himself; he had to say it. "Blaine Warbler, I think we were destined to meet."

…

…

…

**That's it! For real this time. The end. Like, I have spent hours upon hours upon hours writing this and I only hope that it lives up to your expectations after it took me so long.**

**I'm actually in love with it, if I'm honest with you. **

**Props to Shimmeh who told me that they thought of the song "The Reason" when they read this story, hence its inclusion.**

**I've created a soundtrack to this story, and I'll be posting it on my Tumblr with YouTube videos for each of the songs linked. It'll be tagged under "I should tell you" and "cadie wrote fanfic" if you look for it. My Tumblr URL is donthatecommiserate so head on over there. :)**

**I hope you all have enjoyed this story as much as I have and I hope you loved the epilogue as much as I did and I hope you're not too angry that it took me this long to write. :) But it's about 25,000 words so it took me a while! Sorry!**

**Anyway, I love you, stay tuned for any upcoming stories I may put out. Until next time. :)**


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